The Promise
by Evil StormSister
Summary: -COMPLETE 01.15.10- She said, "Don't tell me you've forgotten..." Leon always tried to keep his past behind him but with a persistant Yuffie, his search is rekindled for his lost 'before.' Slight AU, takes place during KH II
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything from Final Fantasy VIII or Kingdom Hearts…Square Enix and Disney do.

A shameless plug…This story is inspired by an earlier work, "Leon", and although you don't _have _to read it to understand this story, it won't hurt...it's like the background-prequel…it may come in handy later on…

* * *

He could see her again.

Finally, after all this time, she was there. Standing in the fields at the old orphanage where they promised to meet. The grass was taller now…but at least she wasn't hidden.

She was standing with her back to him. Her hair swished in the light wind and her skin gave off an orange-ish hue from the setting sun. Her champagne coloured dress—_it was that colour, right?—_from that fateful dance sparkled and hung gracefully on her curves.

His heart pounded as he called out to her, an elated smile spreading across his face. When she didn't answer the first time, he moved closer to her and tried again.

But she wouldn't turn around.

His smile dropped and concern washed over his features. He called out to her for a third time, feeling a familiar sense of dread seep into his heart when she still wouldn't turn around. _…Rinoa…?_

She was oblivious to his presence, no matter how loud he said her name. He kept moving, getting right behind her…but she still wouldn't turn around to his shouts.

His heart pounded painfully in his chest, confused and hurt, angry and upset…he was close to shaking…He couldn't lose her again. Not again. _Please…Rinoa…_

She was so close. He could almost touch her…His arm reached out to grab onto her shoulder—_Maybe she doesn't want you here…ever think of that?_

It was in his self-doubt, in his arm's slight retreat, that she slowly began to turn to face him. A sudden flood of relief came over him. _Rinoa…_However, as soon as her profile came into view, his anguish returned, as her face was blotchy and grainy. He couldn't see her. Her face was literally melting away from his memory. _…What? _

She was facing him now, the blotches and blurry patches on her face starting to spread out to the rest of her body shape. Her hand pointed up, to the sky…But like a broken tape, she flashed, buzzed out, and repeated the same action over and over. _…No, no…Rinoa, please…_His eyes were locked on her, trying to understand what was wrong…what he did to make her this way.

His breathing was coming out fast as he could only watch her get more blurred and wobbly. His mind was spinning, trying to find a way to get it all to stop…just so that he could see her, for real. Just so that he could tell her…_Please…_

There was suddenly the sound of static in the air. It was loud, making his ears ring and his head hurt…He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, trying to block out the annoying buzz so he could understand…so he could stay with her a bit longer. _No, wait…Not yet…_

His eyes opened again and he saw her for a brief moment in perfect clarity before the scene in front of him disappeared into white. She stood there, poised with a light smile and with her hand pointed up to where the shooting star had passed. He saw her for that split second…saw her lips part…"_Squ—_"

"—Leon? Come in, Leon! Wakey-wakey!"

Yuffie's voice came to his ears as his dream, that he so desperately wanted to hold onto, faded out. His mind was trying so hard to keep that clear image in his head but the loud static noise from his walkie-talkie jumbled his concentration. With his heart heavy, Leon let out an exhausted sigh and reached out to grab the offending device from the table next to the bed.

Not bothering to open his eyes yet, he pressed on the 'talk' button and let his annoyance show for once. "What. Is. It. Yuffie." It was supposed to be a question, but ended up as a statement.

"Oh! Were you still sleeping?" Came the hesitant reply over more static.

"Doesn't matter much now, does it?" Leon slowly turned over in bed, bringing half the sheets with him, and opened his eyes. The part of his mind still stuck in his dream wished he saw something else rather than the sun-streaked ceiling of his room.

"Sorry, Leon. But it's your shift now! And we all know how cranky Cid gets when he doesn't get his beauty sleep—"

"—Give me a minute." As his hand released the 'talk' button, it also switched off the device. He blinked several times before deciding that he was ready to get out of bed. He had to make sure that every part of that dream was tucked away, with all the others, before he could face anyone. No one had to know about his shame…no one else had to be burdened by it…No one had to know about 'them' and his 'before'…

It was his routine. He was getting better at it.

Leon dressed quickly, picked up all necessary equipment—including Lionheart—and made his way down to the control room. His pace slowed on the stairs when he realized that there was something wrong with Yuffie's order. _…But I never do Wednesday mornings…That's Cloud's shift, isn't it? _

He looked behind him and decided that he was too close to the control room to go back to bed. _Whatever. _Leon shook his head, figuring that it was probably a last minute thing anyway. Yuffie tended to do that a lot.

His footsteps echoed in the empty corridor. He frowned slightly at the silence as he pressed the access code for the control room. _Where is everyone? _Usually, he could hear Cid talking from his room—

"—SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

And there they were: Tifa, Yuffie, Aerith, Cid and a reluctant Cloud, standing in the control room, complete with party hats and noisemakers. His face twitched a little at the sudden volume of noise, but other than that, his shock did not show.

"…What's all this for?" He asked as Yuffie came closer to him, holding something behind her back. She let out a big smile as she let the cake be seen.

"What do you mean, Leon? It's your birthday!" Yuffie held the cake out proudly. "See? It says so right here in icing! Me and Aerith made it!"

From behind her, Aerith smiled and waved while Cid spoke up from his position at the far wall. "Hey! I helped too!"

Yuffie shot Cid a look. "What are you talking about? We had to get Tifa in there to get you _away _from the oven!"

"You sayin' that I can't cook?" The start of an argument between the two was cut short when Tifa gave Cid a frown. The older man rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. Leon couldn't hear what he mumbled after that, as Yuffie spoke up again.

"It's vanilla flavoured!" She continued, and moved the cake under his nose with a back-and-forth motion. "And I know how much you want to have some!"

He blinked slowly. "…How did you know when my birthday was?" Last time he checked, he never told them.

Yuffie smirked and waved a hand dismissively. "Oh Leon, enough about that. Don't you want some cake?"

"Yes. Please try some. We spent all day making it." Aerith smiled, adjusting the straps to her yellow party hat.

_What can I say…? _"Okay." He looked away and was thankful when Yuffie skipped off to the closest table to start cutting the cake into slices. He walked further into the room with the intention of checking on the video-feed. After all, it was the supposed reason he was there in the first place…However, Tifa stood in his path.

"No. No work." She playfully frowned, waving a finger in his face. "Yuffie put a lot of effort into this. Just enjoy it for a little while, okay?"

"The Heartless won't wait." He deadpanned.

Tifa put her hands on her hips. "A little bit of cake won't kill you, you know…And besides…" She left him for a moment to grab a nearby Cloud and bring him into the conversation. "We all want you to celebrate! Right, Cloud?" Her brown eyes looked at him expectantly.

The blond man made quick eye-contact with Leon before sticking out his hand. "Happy Birthday." Tifa could not have looked more pleased. But all Leon could see was a vague memory. Suddenly, he was in the ballroom again, with Zell and his unrequited handshake. They were both wearing their uniforms…and they were celebrating because—_we became SeeDs that day… right?_…

He couldn't bring himself to shake the offered hand. He wanted to, but he couldn't. He simply nodded at Cloud in a silent 'thank you' instead. The hand dropped quickly and before Cloud could slink away, Tifa looked at Leon incredulously. "Do you know how long it took me to convince him to do that? The least you could do…" Her voice trailed off into a sigh as Yuffie waved them over.

"Come and get your cake, guys! But the birthday boy gets the first piece!" Yuffie held up her hands and in them was said item: a thick slab of vanilla cake with chocolate icing. "It has your name on it, Leon!"

The entire crew came to the table and picked up the plate given to them. Aerith handed out drinks and for the most part, the women at the table did all of the talking. _Why did they do this? _Leon sat quietly, staring at his piece of cake, barely taking two bites before setting his fork down. _This day is not a time for celebration…It's another day against the darkness…it's nothing special…it's just another day……It's another day that I haven't…_

"So, what is it like to be twenty-six?" Yuffie smiled, trying to bring some conversation out of him. _Staying that quiet can't be good for him._

It took him a second to realize who she was talking to. _Twenty-six…that's a long time…_ "It's nothing special." Leon looked up from his cake only for a moment.

"Yeah, it's once ya hit thirty-something…that's when you feel it!" Cid added, stretching out his arms above his head. "That's when ya start to hurt all over. Your knees are the first to go."

"Don't scare him with all your old-man tales, Cid." Tifa smiled, drinking her lemonade.

"Ah, Leon's a big boy…He ain't afraid of nothing. Ain't that right?" Cid put a toothpick in between his teeth and slung his arms over the back of his chair.

"Yeah." He mumbled, not bothering to point out Cid's contradictory choice of words. Instead, he stuck his fork into the icing that spelled out his name and smeared it on the bottom of the plate. _There are plenty of things in this world to be afraid of…getting older isn't one of them…_

There was more chatter amongst the more talkative people in the crew before Aerith and Cloud began to clean up the plates. They went into the kitchen, while Cid and Tifa, after saying another 'happy birthday' to him, went to their respective rooms for sleep. _I guess Yuffie's order did have some merit after all… _Leon thought, as he watched the night crew switch shifts.

Yuffie gulped the rest of her lemonade before setting the cup down. "So, did I surprise you? I couldn't really read your face that well when you walked in, but I'm pretty sure I saw a little bit of surprise!" She even held her thumb and index finger apart slightly to emphasize 'little.' Even with his lack of response, Yuffie's optimism was still strong.

He looked up at her. "This wasn't necessary, you know."

She blinked, her smile faltering somewhat. "What do you mean? It's your birthday! We have little parties like this for everyone!"

"That doesn't mean you had to do it for me."

Yuffie got up from her chair that was across from him to get into the one that would bring her directly next to him. "Of course I did!" She said in a whisper as she sat down. "I haven't seen you smile in ages! And I thought that this could be the thing to pick you up! I mean, we're all friends here, right?"

He looked right at her, holding her gaze as he spoke slowly. "It wasn't necessary. Today is just another day."

Her lips got tight and she breathed out loudly from her nose. "No. It's not just another day, is it?" Yuffie matched his gaze, not letting up. _You've been thinking about them, haven't you?_

Leon stood from his chair, walking towards the computers, ready to start his shift. Already, his mind was working on the patrols he would have to do, any technical difficulties he would have to fix, and if Hollow Bastion could go a day without an attack. It was better to think like this.

It was better to let go and even better to not let the idea of them disappearing from his mind bother him. It was the way it had to be.

Yuffie made a noise to vent her frustration from the table. "You know, we can help you Squall!"

He nearly winced at the sound of his name, that familiar dread squeezed his chest…but without missing a step, he replied back coldly. "My name is Leon. You should know that by now."

* * *

The glare from the computers was hurting her eyes but Yuffie could not be bothered to rub them. Since the party, she couldn't shake off the mood Leon had set in with his cold shoulder. _He hasn't smiled in a long time… _She was genuinely worried about him; he had a lot of time to think by himself and it didn't help that he never talked to anyone else about those thoughts.

_He just keeps going around in circles… _Yuffie mused, sighing aloud in the empty control room. Both Cloud and Cid, the other night crew members, were out on patrol. She watched the screens with half a mind as she remembered the time when she first met Leon…when he was still Squall…

_The first thing he asked me when I found him in Traverse Town was if there was anyone else with him…Oh, what were their names?! _She frowned as the names he only mentioned that one time slipped out of her head. _He was so…so worried…and defeated…_

_That second when it dawned on him that they were not with him…when he couldn't find them… _Yuffie could see the image of Squall's face in her mind of that moment. That look. That dread-filled look with the empty eyes. _…and he still blames himself for it. For all of it…Oh, Squall…they wouldn't want you to be this way!_

He had coldly brushed her off on their first meeting in the alleyways of Traverse Town, dismissing her claim of him being the only one, and quickly going on foot to find them. It was by chance, five days later, when her and Cid found him for a second time. His face was impassive and hard and he was clutching Lionheart tightly in his hands. It was then when he asked them what the dark creatures were.

Both her and Cid explained to him the situation that they were all in, but even then, she could tell he wasn't there. Leon's mind was still looking for them, exhausting himself for several weeks after the second reunion once he learned how to operate the Gummi Ships. When he had returned empty handed, he had agreed to join them…_He's never looked that sad…that dejected…_

He had never told her his whole story…his whole 'before'…even though she had told him hers several times over. _…Squall…What were their names—? _

The static from her walkie-talkie made her jump and lose her train of thought as Cloud reported back to her. "Sector 1407A…clear."

She grabbed the walkie-talkie and shouted back at him, however her anger was not sourced from Cloud's interruption… "Jeeze! Cloud! Don't scare me like that! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

* * *

Lionheart sat silent in his lap as he brought the rag up the blade for the twentieth time. This was another ritual he was fond of; it was repetitive and easy but the attention needed for the cleaning his gunblade kept his mind off other things.

Like what cheek Zell had his tattoo on.

That tiny, unimportant issue had been plaguing him since the 'surprise party' and it scared him that he still could not find the right answer. Every time he would try to remember the handshake, the image would not come. It was Cloud's face instead that took Zell's body.

Leon folded the rag neatly and put it back into its place. He stood up from the bed and laid Lionheart, polished to perfection, against the wall next to his mattress. He stared at the reflective light of the moon that bounced off its blade with sad eyes. This was his punishment, he supposed, slowly losing sight of all of them… In failing to protect them, he would be alone…they wouldn't even be part of his memories… He would be living the fear he wanted to avoid in the first place for the rest of his life.

His lips pressed together tightly and finally looked away. _Enough. _Tomorrow was another day, after all. Once the Heartless are destroyed…once the worlds are saved…maybe then his abandonment would not be in vain. Leon sighed, feeling distraught, and went back to pick up Lionheart.

The handle, fitting so perfectly in his hands, even without gloves…the smooth, cold steel designed to create the sharpest blade…Beautiful, and yet deadly. It was at this moment, amidst his inner confusion, that he felt so unfamiliar with one of the last pieces of his 'before.'

Without a second thought, Leon walked out of his room with the purpose of getting reacquainted with Lionheart. He hoped he had company down in the waterways.


	2. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything from Final Fantasy VIII or Kingdom Hearts…Square Enix and Disney do.

**To my reviewers: **Thank you so much! I hope this update was soon enough for you!

* * *

Yuffie tiptoed carefully to Leon's Room, even though she knew that he was out on his daily patrol in Hallow Bastion. _A great ninja like me can never be too careful…_She pressed her back against the wall for a second before continuing on her quest. _I will make Squall smile again, even if it kills me…_

And somehow, sneaking into his Room while he was away seemed to fulfill the latter part of her thought. Pushing it aside, she moved quietly and finally stood face to face with the door to his Room. Part of her hoped that her trespassing would lead to the answers she wanted. _If I can get their names…maybe I can find them…I'm sure that when he sees them again, he'll be okay! He'll have nothing left to brood over, because he won't have to worry about them anymore! _

Although she knew that finding them would be hard, if she didn't find anything in his Room, it would be even harder. And even if she found something that could lead her to them, what would happen if they weren't reachable? Or already dead? _No…no negatives…_ Her mind was made up. _If I can't find it…then…then I'll think of something else…_She wasn't sure what her 'something else' was, but she would figure it out eventually. _I don't like to see him like this…At least before he would talk about it a little…Now he just keeps it in and makes himself sick!_

Taking out the access code to his Room, Yuffie pressed the numbers into the panel and waited. _Leon forgets that I'm good with computers…_She had gotten his code _and _his birth date from hacking into their computer systems. _All in a day's work! And they think I do nothing but play games on the computers…_

When she heard the lock open, she spun around quickly to make sure that no one came running to the sound. To her, it was the loudest unlocking door she had ever heard. _Okay, calm down…you're Yuffie, the greatest thief Hallow Bastion has ever seen…This is a walk in the park…_

Determination setting in and nerves quieted, she inched the door open and slipped into Leon's Room. She was thankful for the carpet that was in front of the doorway as it made her footsteps soundless. Turning on her heel, she took one last look up and down the hallway before closing the door again.

Yuffie let out the breath she had been holding. _Okay…where to start? _Her eyes scanned the Room, picking out possible hiding places. His Room was sparsely decorated; there was only his bed, a dresser, a night-table and a desk. The door to the adjoining washroom was closed, but she could figure out what the inside looked like. No pictures or photographs…no mess…no plants or knick-knacks… _Jeeze Leon, could you get any more boring? _

She walked into the Room, arms folded. _Now…if I were Leon, where would I keep stuff like this? Not in an obvious place, that's for sure. I wouldn't want to be reminded… _Yuffie made a beeline for his bed. _Under the mattress…_

Grabbing onto the edge of the mattress, she pulled with all her strength, ruining the neatly folded sheets. There was a dull thud when the mattress hit the floor and Yuffie wasted no time in jumping over it to scan the area. She poked and prodded the space for any holes or hidden compartments until she exhausted every inch. _Hmm…nothing…Not even a dirty magazine…_ She frowned, kneeling on the box-spring. Turning her head, she eyed the night-table.

Scrambling over, she pulled open the only drawer to find spare batteries and a notebook. _Ah! Maybe… _Her thought was cut short as the possibility of Leon having some sort of journal was dismissed. The notebook had empty pages. Her eyebrows came together again and she threw the notebook back inside. Her search of the night-table ended when she found no hollow spots in the bottom of the drawer. _Come on… _

His desk was clean. No extra drawers or cupboards to look through…All Restoration Committee paperwork was kept in a neat pile or within the stack of folders at the edge of the desk. Yuffie was tempted to leave the desk in disarray to give some kind of character to the Room, but it would make her search noticeable. _…and I can't have that…_

She did a quick check around the windows and even the floorboards before heading to the dresser. _Well, I might as well go through _all _his personal belongings…_ There were three drawers of equal height and width; each holding items of clothing that were folded and arranged in an orderly fashion. Yuffie sighed. _Gotta be careful here…if anything's out of place, he'll know for sure…_

At first, she was careful…Moving aside the folded laundry into neat piles and placing them back exactly where she found them. However, her patience wore thin as the search continued. _Come on, Leon! I know you have it! _Getting frustrated with a lack of evidence, clothes were quickly being flung over her head. _I know he has something! He has to! He wouldn't have thrown it away! _

The first drawer was completely empty and she would have moved on to the second in the same hazardous fashion if she hadn't heard a faint clanging sound. Her eyes and ears opened as she spun around and tried to locate the oddly placed sound in the messy Room. She now regretted adding the mess; with the mattress still off the box-spring and clothes all over the place, that clanging sound would be hard to pinpoint. _Oh, shoot!_

_Where? Where? Where? _Yuffie's hands worked quickly as she got on all fours and searched the clothes-covered floor. She examined every item carefully, feeling for any extra weight, before throwing it behind her. _…No…Nope…Not here either…Hmph! I should have known he would have kept it in here with his clothes…_

When her hands reached out for a pair of grey socks, she found that extra weight. _Oh! _Dark eyes went wide as she sat back on her calves and pushed her hand through the sock opening. She felt it. _…it's here…_Slowly pulling her hand out, a thin silver ring came to her vision. Yuffie held it closer to her face for inspection. _…that ring…_

It was a simple ring. A plain, thin band. The fact that it was made almost entirely of silver allowed the ring to stay intact. _…all that time… _She sat there in silence, just watching the sun make the piece of jewelry shine, before standing up and placing it in her pocket. _Something so precious…kept away from everyone… _She felt sad for Leon, having to keep this piece of his world tucked away, never to be shared, always left alone…A part of her longed to know _why _he did it; contrary to his belief, it wouldn't have burdened anyone. They were all in the same boat, with pieces and people of their past missing or completely erased from their memories.

Yuffie looked over the Room again and smiled lightly at her work; it looked better now than it did before. Finally, it looked like a human being lived _in _the Room. But, of course, she knew that she couldn't leave it this way and began fixing it up. It wasn't like Leon to deviate from the routine, the order, the precision… _First…these clothes……I hope he doesn't notice the wrinkles…_

She sat, legs folded, in the middle of the chaos, and began to re-fold everything. Her hands worked quietly, smoothing out and tucking the fabric into its proper place. As she worked, Yuffie felt that pang of sadness whenever the little piece of metal pressed into her hip. _That ring…_

It was Sora who had brought it…along with other objects from their pasts. When he had returned to Hallow Bastion after being asleep for so long, he emptied the pockets of his old red shorts onto the table in the control room.

"_When I was in that place…that place where all the worlds that got destroyed go to…I found some stuff. I know that—that your worlds were destroyed by the Heartless, so I thought that I would be lucky and find some of your old things…" _He explained, as dusty and cracked objects fell onto the table.

"_Sora, that's so thoughtful of you…" _Aerith had smiled.

He had rubbed the back of his head and blushed a little. _"It was nothing…Just little things that I managed to stumble upon as I went through…"_

Her hands stopped folding the clothes as she remembered Leon's face when his eyes fell on the ring. While everyone else had crowded around the objects, he had stayed back, arms folded, with a determined look on his face.

For Tifa, there was a ripped glove that fit her hand perfectly. Cid had recognized a broken piece of glass from an old set of goggles he used to have. Aerith felt the most familiar with the pieces of clay pots and Cloud with a large metal buckle…but Leon would not go near the table, she remembered.

She had picked up a scrap of a previous headband from Sora's collection, with the only other thing remaining on the table at that time was that ring. That simple silver band.

"_Leon, aren't you gonna have a look-see?" _She had asked him, trying to figure out if the ring was indeed from his world. She remembered thinking that maybe it was his wife's ring…

"_Maybe later. We have work to do."_ He had responded coldly before turning towards the computers. True to his word, he had returned to the table after his shift was over and stood there. She had been peeking from behind the doorframe, and watched him pick up the ring hesitantly and put it in his pocket. _Sora was able to find things…little pieces of things from all of our destroyed worlds…The little pieces that connect us to what was once there…He was able to find a part of Leon's world when he couldn't…_

Yuffie sighed as she placed the last article of clothing back into the first drawer. She closed the drawer slowly, pausing as her hands hit the dresser. _I know how it feels to not be able to do anything…To have to stand by…Leon looked and looked but wasn't able to find anything, and then Sora comes along and stumbles upon something so precious to him…Something that brought back the pains of his past...proof, even, that his 'before' was broken and scattered..._

"It doesn't seem fair…" Yuffie mumbled aloud in the quiet Room. _…but I guess Leon forgets that we're all in the same situation…_

She checked her watch. _18:05…Gotta hurry this up…I found what I wanted to find…I'll examine it for more clues later…_ Moving quickly, she pulled the mattress back into its original position and brought the sheets back into their bounce-a-dime-off-the-top arrangement. She knew that Leon would see the bed first, so she made sure the bed-sheets were stretched taut.

Doing once last check around the room and finding nothing out of place, she patted herself on the back and on the pocket that held the ring. _He'll never know—_

Her head snapped to the direction of the doorway when she heard footsteps. Footsteps too heavy to be Tifa's or Aerith's, too quick to be Cid's, and as far as she knew, Cloud had no reason to be in this hallway. _Oh no… _Eyes on her watch, she realized that she was out of time. _18:35! His shift was over five whole minutes ago!_

The footsteps got close and then they stopped. Her ears knew that they were _right in front of the door _to his Room. _…Oh no…Oh no…! _Yuffie was nearly a dear in the headlights when she heard the code being entered. She scrambled under the bed on her stomach, managing to squeeze herself between the floor and the gap to the box-spring. _Oh no! _The door opened. _Don't come near the bed!_

Her dark eyes could only see Leon's shoes as he walked into his Room with a purposeful pace. She had to put her hand over her mouth to suppress the squeak that came when Leon's feet came close her hideout. _Hey! What did I just tell you? Don't come near…Oh, he can't know I'm here, can he? I mean, I fixed everything……Don't look under the bed! Don't look under the bed!_

She heard him sigh above her with some movement. Yuffie held her breath when the tips of Leon's boots were inches away from her face. _Okay…just calm down…_She tried to reassure herself. _You're Yuffie! The greatest ninja ever! And he's just Leon…Stupid, stubborn Leon…_

When she saw the blue blade of Lionheart resting against the wall, the colour drained from her face. _…who happens to have a weapon that can slice me in two!_

In her fixation on the blade, Yuffie barely had time to move when the mattress sunk in under Leon's weight. Her thoughts switched quickly from the death that would surely follow if she were caught to her present predicament. _Don't you _dare _take a nap now, Leon! Don't take a nap! Don't take a nap!_

Repeating it over and over in her head like a mantra, she hoped that somehow, her mental thoughts would persuade him to not take a nap…and to not look under the bed. She listened to Leon's deep breathing and part of her wondered what his face looked like at this moment. _Probably has that frown…that look of deep concentration or whatever…_She was getting nervous from his lack of movement… _Oh! Just go take a shower or something!_

Suddenly, the weight on the mattress was lifted, giving Yuffie some room, and a cause for celebration. She watched his feet move from the dresser to the washroom and waited for the water to start running. _Thank you, whoever-you-are-up-there! _Leon had taken her advice without checking under the bed. _And now I have my chance to escape! _

To be safe, she waited under the bed for a few minutes, before deciding that the sound of the running water in the shower was enough to drown out her movements. Sliding out from under the bed, Yuffie put herself in a crouch for a few moments before straightening up. She counted to five in her head, watching the steam come out of the crack beneath the door to the washroom, and looking at the clothes he had laid out for himself—still folded neatly in a pile—on his bed. She rolled her eyes at his choice. _White shirt…black jeans…Ugh, could you get _any _more boring, Squall?_

And just as she came in, she tiptoed out of the Room, thankful for the carpet by the door, which made her exit soundless. _Ha! The great ninja Yuffie strikes again! _She skipped down the hall after closing the door with a smile on her face, optimism renewed. _I know I can make him smile again! I just hope that stunt didn't use up all my luck! _

* * *

Usually, when he dreamed, he was aware of the presence of his hands, his arms, his torso, his legs…Even if he was not moving in the dream, he would have the feeling of them there. They were a part of him, after all.

However, in this dream, he had no body…no limbs…no face…just eyes. He wasn't even sure if they were his eyes, because he felt nothing.

From what he could see, he was moving fast and had tunnel vision. The only clear part of his sight was focused at the point of a cone, with the sides of the cone blurred and streaked. The sides of the cone had browns, greens and blues dripping off them as the point showed him that he was moving over a forest…and an ocean…

The point of the cone may have been the most clear, but he was moving so fast that sometimes, the image would not be there for the eyes to pick it up. _Where…am I going?_

The trees and water seemed to continue for miles and hours, and Leon did not understand. _…Where…? _He was waiting for the wind to make the eyes tear up, for the sound of it to make his head hurt, but he still felt nothing…_Am I…even here? _At least, he mused, he could think, and therefore, part of him was present.

Blue. Green. Yellow. The colours and textures of the water, leaves and sand whisked past him as he kept moving. If he could see all of it, he was sure that the scenery would be breathtaking…but he was missing part of it, and could not see the whole picture. _…where…?_

"_Squall…"_

The cone suddenly changed direction, and landed upon something black and blue. There was a dizzy feeling starting to take over him, but Leon pushed it away. She was talking to him, and now was not the time to wake up.

The tunnel vision continued and all he could do was hope that eventually, the point of the cone would land on her face so that he wouldn't have to see the blurred image of her. It was now that he started to feel again…His head was starting to spin and his breathing was sharp and pained. _Please…not yet… _

"_Squall…don't…" _Her voice sounded off and very distanced from his position. He didn't hear her finish as the eyes lost sight of her. _Where…? _The greens and blues returned…with hints of pinks, purples and yellows…The eyes kept moving, scanning over the landscape for the black and blue again. _…where?_

Suddenly, the point of the cone opened, and the tunnel vision was gone.

There she was. Standing in an open field with flowers and tall grass…With her blue sleeveless jacket and dark hair…_Rinoa…_

Her eyes met the eyes. _"Squall…" _Her lips moved, but he could barely hear her. _"Don't tell me you've forgotten…" _She was not angry; no frown or tinted cheeks came to him. Instead, she was smiling, playfully, challenging him to remember.

_What…? Forgotten what…?_ His head was throbbing at this point.

"_Don't tell me you've forgotten…" _She repeated the same message, a bit louder this time, smile still in place. _…where…? _His grip on the scene before him began to loosen. It took him all his mental strength to hold on, furthering the headache.

She repeated the statement again, skipping like a record…_No…where…?! _As fast as the break in tunnel vision came, it returned, and Rinoa's body was spread out over the sides of the cone. Blacks and blues mixed together with the greens of the landscape and his head was ready to explode because he refused to let go, not until he understood, and if he had to send his own blacks and reds and browns and whites into the scene, then so be it.

He felt the wind lash out on his face; he was aware of his body now and the assault it was enduring for him to hold on. His skin was burning, but the eyes kept looking for him, to find her, amongst the blues and the blacks and the greens and the browns and the reds. _N—No…_His head was pushing hard against his skull and just when he was about to join the blurred colours of his vision, his eyes opened.

Leon sucked in a large breath and sat up in his bed. His heart was pounding in his chest and he could not get over that feeling. He had been so close…A hand went up to his forehead, instinctively trying to calm his throbbing temples. _…what…?_

_Don't tell me you've forgotten… _"What…? Forgotten what…?" He mumbled aloud, feeling his heart sink when his frazzled mind could not think of an answer. He tried to remember the part where he saw everything, but all that came to mind was a mass of green, brown and yellow with black and blue and her.

He let out an exhausted sigh as he rested his head on the top of his knees. _Why now…? Why? I've looked and looked…I just want all of this to go away… _His eyes looked to the night sky, hoping that they could grant his wish…even if it was for an instant…but they remained silent and mocking.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Hey guys! Hope the chapter wasn't too choppy. This part takes place a day after the first chapter...and the dream sequence is from that night.

The part with Sora bringing back goodies from their previous worlds...Uh, never actually played Final Fantasy VII, so the items there are kinda vague...but Cid DID have goggles in FFVII, Tifa had gloves, Yuffie had a headband, Aerith (or Aeris) owned a flower shop and Cloud had a bunch of metal stuff on his outfit. If I'm wrong here, do point it out, and I'll rewrite that part.

"I think, therefore I am." Famous quote from Descartes...Kinda fit in with Leon's dream. Oh, and I hope you all enjoyed the great ninja Yuffie's escapades in the 'Room'. Yes, it's supposed to be capitalized...to show the signifiance of Leon's intense want of privacy.

Anyway, that is all. See you next chapter!!


	3. Chapter Three

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything from Final Fantasy VIII or Kingdom Hearts…Square Enix and Disney do.

**To my reviewers: **Thank you for the favs and reviews! Means a lot!

**And special thanks to my editor! Your comments rock.**

* * *

"You did _what_?!" Tifa stared at Yuffie with wide eyes, unable to let her mind comprehend what she just heard.

"Tifa! Shhh!" Yuffie put a finger to her mouth and dragged her friend into the farthest corner away from Cid in the Control Room. He had turned around from his seat in front of the computers to Tifa's surprised voice and raised an eyebrow. Seeing how it must be 'one of those girl things', he shrugged and went back to the screens. His shift was over in a few minutes anyway.

_No…she couldn't have…no way…_ Tifa was still in slight shock; when her voice returned, she made sure it was quieter and calmer. "No, you're lying. There is no way you got into Leon's room."

"But I did. I found his code." With a smile, she began to recite it, "427—"

"—Okay, okay…" Tifa interrupted, not wanting to hear the code. _We all picked a code for privacy…_ "Fine, then. You got into his room. But there is no way you managed to…" The older girl looked up to make sure Cid wasn't listening, and then brought her eyes back onto Yuffie. "…to _steal _something from him."

Her friend's smile only got bigger. "But I did!" Yuffie admitted proudly. "It was that—"

Tifa held up her hand to interrupt her again. "I know what it was…And I know that you mean well, but Yuffie…This is _Leon _we're talking about. He doesn't just let things like that disappear without knowing about it."

Yuffie blinked. "Well, it has been a whole day, and he hasn't said anything."

"So what? He'll figure it out. It's Leon." Tifa threw up her hands in emphasis of his name. "He figures out everything in time. If he looks for it, he'll know it's been taken, and it won't take him long to guess who."

The younger girl pouted and looked away. "I guess I have to work faster then."

"What?"

"It's like you said. If Leon looks for the ring, he'll know for sure that it's been taken, because no one goes into his room and no one knows about that spot and no one but him takes it out. He's systematic. He wouldn't misplace it…"

"Exactly. Which is why you have to put it back." Tifa reasoned. "Like, now."

"But I'm not done yet!" Yuffie protested. _I've only had a few spare hours of free time to look at the ring and prepare…_

"Not done with what? What do you want to do with it?" Her hands were on her hips now, and Yuffie knew she was in for a barrage of questions.

"Tifa, I just wanna make Leon happy again." Her voice was soft and her dark eyes looked away. _He's my friend…One of the first new people I met when our world got destroyed…I'm pretty sure he considers us friends…I'm pretty sure he cares for us like we care for him…_ "Friends help each other out. Through thick and thin. No man left behind…and Leon shouldn't be leaving himself in the dark to fend for himself…no matter how strong he thinks he is…"_He shouldn't be making this about him… _Her mouth suddenly took on a mind of its own.

"He hasn't smiled in a long time, Tifa, and it worries me. He's becoming so detached…I mean, something _that _tragic can't be kept inside all the time. He keeps it all in and pretends to be okay…Because it's part of his routine. To pretend that it's okay with him, that it's okay that he remembers all of it and that he can't do anything… He keeps going around in circles, Tifa! He feels bad about his supposed failure and even worse that he couldn't find them…And I know that I don't have much going for me, but two heads are better than one and I am lucky…

"If I can do something…No, I will do something about this. If I can just let him and his friends reunite…somehow…he'll see them, and know that they're okay and that they don't blame him, and that it's okay to be here with us, helping Sora and the others and—"

She was cut off in mid-ramble with a hug that nearly knocked the breath out of her. _She worries so much about him…because he remembers everything…_When Tifa pulled away after a quiet moment of thought, she looked at her right in the eye. _Your concern is going to open old wounds…_ "Yuffie. Listen to me. You should ask Leon before you start this."

Of all the things she could have said, Yuffie was not expecting that. "W—What?"

"I mean, think about it." Tifa began, trying to pick her words carefully. _Yuffie, I don't want to crush your good intentions here…_ "Leon's already been out looking for them…It's been a long time, and I'm sure a part of him doesn't want to be reminded and would rather move on—"

"—But Tifa!" The younger girl had a whine in her voice. "Leon isn't moving on because he still feels guilty about it! I know he isn't moving on! Look at him! He seems to get more and more depressed with every passing day because it's one more day that he lives with his 'shame' or whatever he calls it!"

"What if he doesn't want to find them?" Tifa mumbled gently. _This is Leon after all… _"What if he doesn't want to face them? If he hoards all that shame, do you really think he would want to face the very people he lost?"

She looked away again. _What if she's right? _Her mind questioned. _Even if you did find them, what good would it do if Leon couldn't even look them in the eye and talk to them and get all the things off his chest? _Yuffie could see Tifa's point, but her determination and stubbornness would not allow her to accept it and stop her plan. "But if he doesn't, he'll just be living the rest of his life without knowing…I at least have to try! Leon's my friend, and I don't want to see him like this!"

"See me like what?" Questioned a deeper voice.

Both Tifa and Yuffie looked up slowly to the doorway to see Leon standing there with an eyebrow raised and his arms folded. Before either of them could say anything to the suspicious Leon, Cid interjected.

"Hey! Mornin' sunshine! Glad you could make it." He grumbled, unhappy that he had to wait an extra three minutes for the shift change. _Damn, these shifts keep getting longer and longer…_Cid stretched and stood up. Although Tifa and Yuffie were on time, until the third member of the new shift arrived, at least one night crew member had to stay. It was his turn to stay and wait; Cloud and Aerith had already retired to their beds. "If any of you want me, I'll be sleeping...so don't disturb unless it's an emergency."

"G—Got it." Tifa nodded, thankful that she found her voice again. Cid left with a yawn and when the doors closed behind him, it was just the three of them, with Leon looking at them expectantly.

_Oh no, how much did you hear, Leon? _Yuffie was not making any eye contact, afraid that her eyes would give it away. _If he heard _anything _about the ring, I'm doomed! He'll kill me because I went in his Room! _Another thought made her heart hammer_…What if he already knows?!_

Looking back and forth between the two women, Leon sighed. Whatever they had been talking about earlier was not going to grace his ears. _Whatever. _He walked towards the computers and took Cid's place. _It was probably just Yuffie complaining about my sour mood during that party… _A part of him felt like he had to apologize to her, but he didn't ask for any celebration. _My life is nothing to celebrate._

"So, who's doing patrols this morning?" Tifa asked, hoping that the subject of his eavesdropping was over.

"I'll do it!" Yuffie exclaimed a little too eagerly, happy at the chance to leave. She just didn't want to be in the room right now. _A nice giant hole where I can hide out for a while would be great to find…_If Leon was on to her, he would definitely figure it out just by looking at her. And if he knew about the ring and her escapade and her plan…well, she wasn't sure what he would be angrier about. The plan, or the ring. _If the plan works, maybe he won't care about the ring…?_

"Yuffie, you did it last time." Leon's voice came to her, breaking her thoughts. He had her there; every one was supposed to get equal share, and according to the chart he was looking at, her turn had passed. She wasn't due until tomorrow.

"Oh, well, it's okay! I'll do it again. You guys can make it up to me later!" She spoke quickly and laughed nervously afterwards. "Next time, you two can do two patrols in a row!"

She saw his eyebrow rise as he looked up from the schedule. "You seem jumpy this morning."

"She had too much coffee." Tifa lied, coming to Yuffie's rescue. Her friend, seeing her save, nodded enthusiastically.

"Yup! Cid lied and said it was de-caf!" _Oh no…Does he know the ring is missing? …No! No! Stop it! Stay calm! _Knowing that no ninja can give away their secrets, and that they would be ashamed of her antics this morning, Yuffie took a deep breath and forced her nerves to stop firing. _It's just Leon…Stupid, stubborn Leon…_

Leon shrugged, turning back to the computers. "Well, a little exercise will do you good then. Expel some of that excess energy…Just don't come to me when you hit your caffeine-crash. You can start in Sector 134B and work your way around. Do you have your communication device and your shuriken?"

With her weapon strapped to her back, Yuffie just pulled her walkie-talkie out of her belt and held it out for him to see. "Yes, sir!"

"Okay. Report back at 17:00." With his back turned, Yuffie looked at Tifa and mouthed a 'thank you' to her before running out the room to do her patrol. Tifa could only sigh, looking at Leon with sad eyes.

…_Yuffie, you're putting so much into this…investing so much in a guy who's turned so cold since his destruction. _She walked over to the computers and began to check for maintenance reports. _For a guy so certain that he can contain his grief alone forever… _She got one more look at Leon, who was staring intently at the screens for any disturbances, before starting her shift.

* * *

Her grip loosened on her shuriken as the last of the shadow Heartless disappeared. It was a pretty uneventful patrol. She only fought two battles.

But it gave her a reason to skip on the road. All the free time she got gave her the biggest clue she would need. It made her heart skip too.

Every so often, when she was in an area where the cameras couldn't see, she would pull the ring out and look at her clue. There was only one good piece of information; she had a name. Or, rather, two last names.

_Caraway…Heartilly…_ Every time she would read the two names engraved on the inside of the ring, she would frown, even though it was the biggest clue ever. _Squall never mentioned these names…did he?_ The two names were in an elegant script, a contrast to the battered and worn appearance of the outside of the ring. On her closer inspection, she noticed that the band was far to slim to be a man's ring. A woman had worn this ring…A woman with a last name of either Caraway or Heartilly.

Yuffie kept her pace, turning a corner. The cameras would catch her here, so she put the ring back. _Caraway…Heartilly…They must have been married…That's the only reason I can think of for someone to engrave last names into the inside of a ring…Someone's parents, maybe? Squall's parents? It belongs to his past, so it must be his or one of his friend's parents…But his last name is Leonhart……or did he change_ that _too?_

She checked her watch, after doing a mental checklist of all the things she would have to do to prepare for her plan, and saw that it was time to go back. Pressing the 'talk' button on her walkie-talkie, she reached the Control Room. "Yuffie here. Is it okay for me to head back?"

After a bout of static, it was Tifa's voice that answered. "Yeah, head back. Leon's already out so your patrol is done. You'll be on on-call…"

"Okay!" She cheerfully responded before putting the walkie-talkie back. The smile never left her face. _This information has to get me close to his friends…I mean, the ring is his…so his friends must know about it or the people on the ring…… I just hope that they remember too…I hope I can reach them…_

Yuffie rounded a corner and made her way back to the Control Room. She took the long way, just in case there was something lurking. _I hope they don't pretend…I hope that they are okay…and then, Leon won't have to worry anymore, because Yuffie, the greatest ninja Hallow Bastion has ever seen, is on the case!_

* * *

3:42 am.

It was 3:42 in the morning and all Leon could do was stare at his clock.

He had fallen asleep quickly and had gotten five solid hours of dreamless sleep before being awoken by nothing, and being unable to fall back to sleep. _Just sleep. You've got a full-day shift tomorrow…_

Every so often, each of the Restoration Committee members had to take on a full-day shift and work from morning until the next morning. They would get breaks and the next day off, but completing the long shift was no picnic.

_Which is why you need to sleep. So sleep. _His mind pushed. Leon closed his eyes again and turned over.

It was 3:56 am the next time he checked his clock.

He sighed and rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling. _When I don't dream…I can't sleep…When I do dream, I… _He swallowed thickly as his temples began to throb. _…they…_

His eyes squeezed shut for a moment, his mind trying to remove all thoughts of them and his usual dreams. The dreams that got less frequent…with less details…with less clarity…_Soon, they'll be gone from my mind too…_

—_And who's fault is that?…who let them go in the first place?_

Leon exhaled sharply from his nose, ignoring the questions. Not now. He couldn't bring all that stuff up now after all the time he spent locking it away. _…If I could just…forget…all of that…and start over…What if I found a way? To forget everything and…and everyone…would I be able…? _If given the choice, the perfect potion, could he really wipe his mind clean…from the guilt, from the memories, from all of them…forever?

…_Don't tell me you've forgotten…_

…_no…I couldn't…Not all of it…_He sighed aloud in his empty room, his heart squeezing at the mere thought of willingly letting go. His friends…the people who stuck by him, who taught him that it's okay to let people in…to confide in and trust… _They…I couldn't do that to them…They're too important to throw away…_

—_But you could let them go so easily…_

He had thought about death. About dying. The perfect amnesia. Starting over. From scratch. Nothing to hold him down and grip his heart and hold him back. He would have had no ties to the new world he woke up in and it would have been so easy. He would become a memory. Just like them. And everyone would have used the past tense when referring to him…and eventually, he'd fade away…just like them.

But he knew then, after coming up empty handed after his second trip around the worlds, that dying would not bring them back. It would not bring him closer to them. They wouldn't have wanted that. It would not help at all. _…I suppose that that's why I'm here…_

—_You're only here because you've given up, you coward…you've given up on them…But you can keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better._

Helping Sora, the Keyblade wielder, the only one able to reunite the worlds, was his choice. _…to help him…is to help them… _Once the worlds are restored, maybe then…maybe then this will all stop…

Leon turned back onto his side, facing the clock. _But what if it doesn't? What if my world…what if they can't be saved…? Would I have failed them a second time if that were to happen? _His heart and head pounded at the mere thought. He couldn't take that. That failure. If all this work...all this time spent away from searching for them amounted to nothing, then what?

—_You'd be back where you started. Alone. Isn't that what you deserve?_

He took a deep breath, pushing aside the question, trying to find another way to make it stop…in case…in case everything fell to pieces again. …_What if I could just forget…that last part? That last part of my previous life? I don't want to forget them…just…that last part…_

They taught him many things. They told him that yes, it is true; eventually, the people you love most will leave you. They will move away, they will get too busy, they will die…but you had to cherish the moment in the present… _But why did they have to leave like that…? _They showed him that even if he did obtain all he wanted by himself, it would be a lonely stay at the top if he kept himself away from everyone.

It didn't matter what everyone thought. Just those who truly and genuinely cared. _Like they did…Like they do…_

He moved onto his stomach, trying another position that could possibly get him to sleep. _If I can just forget that last part…forget why they aren't here anymore…_

—_It's your fault. You're that reason. _

He closed his eyes and squished those last few hours from his previous life away. Keeping his focus, like he was always trained to do, he thought of the times before that point. Before the moment that brought him to this present.

Just after he was declared a SeeD. Just after Zell tried to shake his hand and laughed it off. Just after Selphie had convinced him to join the Garden Festival Committee with a proud smile. Just before Quistis told him that she was no longer his Instructor and wished he could listen. Just before they all met the cowboy assassin named Irvine who made them remember. Just before the fall of Edea and Adel and Ultimecia. Just before the time-compression. Just before wandering alone in the darkness and waking up in the field of green and yellow and brown and white and blue and black and—

—There was that moment. When their eyes met across the dance floor. It was just a moment, but it was all he could expect from perfection.

That moment, he understood now, changed his life. _…Rinoa…_

His breathing slowed, as did his heart. He swore he could hear the violins and the clarinets and the flutes so clearly in his mind as the back of his eyelids brought him to her.

It was 4:10 am in the morning, and Leon had finally fallen back to sleep.

* * *

Firstly, just wanna say sorry for the late-ness. Had a hard time writing Yuffie's spiel there in the beginning because I wasn't sure how much to let on this early in the game.

… Oh yes, there's always more than meets the eye. Although Leon is their friend, Yuffie notices that he's still kinda withdrawn from them because of his past. (I hope I made that part clear!)

I realize that I put a lot of thought into the Restoration Committee schedule…I dunno. It's only the six of them, so I suppose they have crazy shifts to keep Hallow Bastion safe.

ALSO, for those of you who never played FFVIII, the Leon moments there with the "Just before…Just before…Just after…" brings the timeline to the point where Squall and Rinoa first meet in the game. Such a beautiful scene.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. Uh, Chuck Palahniuk's 'Fight Club' inspired the whole "It was just a moment, but it was all he could expect from perfection" …seriously, read the book. It will BLOW your mind.

Well, after you finish reading this fic, I hope. (lol)

Please review! :D

* * *


	4. Chapter Four

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything from Final Fantasy VIII or Kingdom Hearts…Square Enix and Disney do.

**To my reviewers: **Thank you for the favs and reviews and alerts! Makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside! D

* * *

Yuffie yawned as she stuck the long strip of tape along the bottom edge of the poster. She just finished a night-shift and was dead tired but knew that she had to do this today. It was one of the few days that both Leon and her worked night and it wouldn't be until next week that she got the full-day shift…

She had to do this now, no matter how tired she was, lest Leon finds out about the missing ring. Every day that she kept it was another day he could figure it out. _Stay awake! Stay awake!_ As Leon and Aerith retired to their rooms for some much needed sleep after their shift, she had stayed behind in the Control Room until the day-shift members came in. With Leon asleep, and the rest of them thinking she was too, she snuck aboard one of their Gummi Ships with her supplies and took off before any one could stop her.

_Not a very subtle escape with those engines roaring… _Yuffie mused, remembering Tifa chasing after her, calling for her to wait. Since Tifa knew about the plan, and knew that no one had to know about it, Yuffie was confident in the older girl's silence. _She won't say a thing…Maybe something like, 'She went out for food'…if anything at all…_

Having the day off after a full-day shift would have been an optimal time to put up the posters, but it was too far away. _So stay awake!! _Yuffie shook her head to clear off any sleepiness and trudged on with the remaining posters under her arm. She put the roll of tape back onto her make-shift utility belt and brought her fingers to rest on the stapler also situated there. _I think a tree-poster is in order…_

She only had a few left; after being to the five different worlds her Gummi Navigation Block could show her, she had used them up as posters or flyers. She tried to put multiples of them in obvious places, like in the city's central square or something, so that a lot of people would see. _And hopefully…the right ones will get it…_

Muscles almost giving out, Yuffie pushed herself to a lightly forested park. Finding a nearby tree, she pulled out the stapler she had snatched from Cid's desk and put two of the posters up, one on top of the other. Standing back, she marveled at her work. Each poster had two pictures of the ring: one aerial shot and another showing the engraved names. Above the pictures came the big, bold words: "DO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS RING?"

Underneath the question came her description of the ring. The names engraved on it were written down—in case the people couldn't see it clearly enough in the picture—and Leon's name was too. _His _real _name…_Everything else, every word he ever mentioned, went down on that paper, along with a quick, 'Come to Hallow Bastion _(ask for Y.K.!)_ if any of these names ring a bell or leave a response here with your name and address.' She had left plenty of writing room. The poster was detailed and she could only hope that Leon, or any of the others, would never find them. _…they'd probably kill me…_

As she read over her words, she knew it was a long shot. She had no idea if Squall's friends even knewabout other worlds, let alone have access to a Gummi Ship…so she knew she would have to make a second trip in about seven days to see if any of the posters had writing on them. _Well…if they're like Squall, they know about other worlds…but if they don't remember anything about their previous life then… _She refused to finish that sentence. This plan was going to work! Even if she had to come back to every single poster for a month! One of them would eventually have writing on it! They just had too!

And even if just _one _of his friends found this, it would be worth it. Just to see his face…to show him that it's okay. That everything he's doing is okay and that it was okay that he started over…that there's someone else out there who understands exactly what he's going through. After all, if they understood the poster, they knew more or less what Leon knew.

She knew that the King would not be pleased. Here she was, announcing to everyone that other worlds, namely Hallow Bastion, exist. _But this is an emergency! I'm sure he'll understand! _This news was supposed to be kept secret, so that when everything was restored, no one would try and open up the links again. _…besides, I'm sure Sora, Donald and Goofy have let it slip already…_

Bringing her hand to cover another yawn, Yuffie began her trek back to her Gummi Ship. The air was warm and the sun was out but she didn't feel very cheerful at the moment. _Please, please, please, whoever-is-up-there, please make this work! I just want Squall to be okay…if I can just get a little piece back to him…just one piece…it'll be okay…_

The soles of her shoes squeaked against the pavement and she noticed that the town she was in was starting to wake up. Shops were turning over their 'Closed' signs, windows were opening, conversations were being started…Everyone was bright-eyed and happy. As if the Heartless didn't exist anymore…As if everything was normal…_I wonder how many of them…if any of them…know just how big this whole world really is…_

She looked over at a man who just stepped out of his home, probably going to work. As she walked, she turned her head to see him smile back at his kids from their bedroom window. The youngsters waved frantically as he stepped off the porch. "Bye Daddy!" _And if they do know…if they do remember…do they fake their happiness too, sometimes? _

Some people who passed by her made eye contact and greeted her with a 'hello' or a 'good morning!' as if they were great, long-time friends. _…I wonder how many of them lost people…and have no idea that they did…_

Yuffie responded to them, as cheerfully as she could, but did not stop to talk. She just wanted to go home. Going through a world on foot was tiring. _I wonder how many of them wish they could get out of this town and go back…_She ended up putting up the last of her posters on the window of one of the general stores, much to the owner's annoyance. She never got chased away with a broomstick until today.

Landing her Gummi Ship in a secluded part of the world, Yuffie dragged her feet up the rock and mud path that she took into town, away from the people who probably had no idea of what lay beyond their daily routine. _Wouldn't it be better if everyone knew? If everyone remembered…? So that way no one…no one in the entire universe of worlds…would ever be alone…because there would always be someone else? _Although she knew the engines would be loud, by the time anyone came out to look and stare, she would be gone.

And all she would be to them was another faded memory. _…Or would it be better if everyone forgot…?_

* * *

Cloud tightened the last bolt with a grunt. This was the second time this week he had to service this particular Automatic Defense Mechanism; he wasn't sure who had fixed it before, but they hadn't done a good job.

He wheeled out from under it, after double-checking everything else, and wiped the sweat from his brow. It was a tight squeeze underneath the machine making every move that much harder to execute. Sitting up, he kept his head resting on his folded knees until he heard the Loading Dock buzz with activity. _…Who's out…?_

He moved swiftly to the intercom, waiting for the feed. When Yuffie's tired face flashed on the screen, Cloud sighed again. "Cloud, lemme in." His oily hands worked deftly, pressing in the code and opening the doors for Yuffie to land her Gummi Ship in the adjacent room. He crossed over to meet her once the screech and thud of the ship landing on the cement floor and that rush of heat from the shut-off engines had passed.

Once the ship had finally quieted and settled in, the doors opened to reveal a yawning Yuffie with her hands stretched over her head. Cloud raised an eyebrow. _…She flew in that condition?_

"Yuffie. Where have you been?" Cloud's usual monotone voice graced her ears when she landed in their garage. She missed his undertone of concern as she locked the door to her ship. It slid shut with a hydraulic hiss.

"Everywhere and nowhere at the same time." She decided on her trek back that being deceptively vague was the way to go. She yawned, and didn't bother to cover her mouth in front of him. She couldn't wait to crawl into bed…all she had to do was make it to her room. _Come on, legs…work… _Yuffie stumbled a bit before finding her pace.

He looked at her quizzically, watching her move so wobbly towards the door. Cloud sighed, before putting the wrench that he held in his hand down. "Which world did you travel to?"

_Damn… _She should have predicted Cloud's inquisition. "Olympia." It was true, she had gone there…along with four other places…

"Why?"

_Ugh…_At the time he asked her that, she was almost at the door. _Just let me sleep! _"To get listed as one of the competition in the next Tournament. I have a bone to pick with Sora." This was also true, as she had to distract Phil for a while so that he wouldn't notice her postings. That man was so picky about what went on his bulletin board. "Does that satisfy your curiosity, Cloud?"

She huffed and moved on, not wanting to hear his response. Yuffie's hand was at the doorknob when she heard him again. "…And it took you that long?" Cloud was moving closer to her, wiping the oil off his hands with a rag.

"There was a line."

"I doubt that."

"Fine then. Doubt it! Whatever you want! I just want sleep!" The door was swung open, the hinges squeaking. Her legs were finally going to carry her over the line that separated the cement floor of the garage from the hardwood of the hallway, when Cloud stopped her again.

"Yuffie."

She turned, agitated, snapping at him. "_What?!_ Why do you care for?!"

Cloud paused, taken back by her retort. From the stories she always told him, they had worked together once. They had been friends, and even if he couldn't remember a thing to verify it, he treated her as such. He blinked once, and then decided not to voice his question. _Whatever she was doing…is really none of my business anyway. _"…Nothing. Never mind. You can go, if you want."

Without another word, she stomped out, hoping to catch up with her sleep before the start of her next shift.

* * *

_Fifteen._

The rag moved up the sharp body of Lionheart for the fifteenth time, leaving in its wake a finely polished blade. Leon kept his hand and head steady as the rag moved back down.

_Sixteen._

It was important to clean Lionheart. Any tarnish affected its performance and what good would he be to this cause if he couldn't fight at one hundred percent? So, after every heavy battle, he would find the time—or he would make the time, whichever—to put into Lionheart's maintenance.

_Seventeen._

The task was simple, the result was perfection. The perfect blade to cut down the darkness; even though it wouldn't be the one to end the crisis, he hoped that it would surely lighten the load. This was the path he chose, and he would stick by it.

—_You're only here because you gave up. Don't forget that…_

…_Eighteen._

There was a ringing sound in his ears as the rag fell back down again. Leon closed his eyes but continued the repetition. They could understand, couldn't they? They would understand why he chose this path, right?

……_Nineteen._

He supposed that it was normal that he would always feel a bit of guilt. Grief, even. His friends, his home…she…was ripped away from him too suddenly. He never got his closure…their forgiveness—

—_Forgiveness you don't deserve…_

He would just have to get through it. The way he always got through things. Just to push forward and try not to look back…Don't overanalyze the situation and just follow the instructions to get through it…Stick to the routine and have no time left over to dwell on it…Eventually, it would go away. The feelings of guilt would subside. And he could be who he was. He didn't have to forget them—

—_What side did Zell have the tattoo on?_

—he would just come to terms with their…departure from his life. By himself. It was his own personal matter and no one else had to know. He had kept it to himself for all this time, and he was doing fine. These few days had been one of few and far in between moments where they took over his thoughts…But, eventually, he'd be okay.

The rag paused at the tip of his weapon, waiting. _But when…? When will this all go away…? It's been…over five years…_He tried to push out the thoughts, all those questions that he didn't have the answer to. He would do this. He was doing fine; he managed to keep that part in check for all this time…at some point, all this would have to go away…he was sure of it. And then, he could finally be left alone, free of his shame.

_Twenty._

Finally.

* * *

"Who does that ninja-punk think she is?!"

There was a stomp of hooves as Phil angrily approached his board. The bulletin board was meant only for Tournament business: times and dates, the competition, the competitors, past winners…_None of this 'lost and found' garbage!_

The satyr frowned and ripped off the five posters in a hurry, without reading past the bolded question. It irked him more that the posters stayed intact in his hand, surviving the fury of his grab. "That girl should know better than to put up that kind of stuff here! This is for Tournament business _only_! We have rules here!"

He wasn't sure who he was talking to as he spoke aloud in the nearly vacant entrance way to the Gates, but he had to let his anger out somewhere. _Like hell she's going to be one of the competition in next week's Tournament!_

"Yo, Phil, what's wrong?" Came the nonchalance question from across the hall.

Phil turned, pointing a finger at the blond caretaker. "You can just mind your own business and get back to work!"

He waved his hands in front of his face, placing the broomstick against the wall. "Take it easy…Just wanted to know what was up."

"You wanna know what's up? You wanna know what's up?! THIS is what's up!" Phil stomped over to the curious man and threw the half-torn posters at him. The papers fluttered down at his feet. "Some ninja punk vandalized the bulletin board! And of course, no one else sees this but me and _I _have to take care of it!"

_Nah, you're just that crazy enough to care about little things like this… _The blond kept his thought in check as he bent over to grab one of the posters.

"This place is a pig-sty!" Phil continued, motioning to the posters that were littering the ground. "What are you waiting for? Do you think I pay you to stand around and look pretty? Get this place back in order…We have a Tournament coming up…"

As the hooves stomped off, and with the anger subsiding, the caretaker rolled his eyes. After being here for seven years, Phil's mood-swings still haven't become manageable. He looked at Phil's retreating back before taking a look at the posters.

The wind tossed up the others that remained on the floor and scattered them across the hall. Usually, he would have chased after them, but…the poster he held in his hand…made his heart stop. He trembled. He couldn't breathe. His blue eyes scanned over the words again and again, to make sure he was reading it right. His heart pounded hard against his ribcage.

Again and again, Squall Leonhart's name came to him. _…How…?_

His head whipped back to the path that Phil took. He could barely see his figure from his position near the front of Olympia's Gate. "PHIL! YO, PHIL!" Strong legs kicked up sand as he ran to catch up with the hoofed fellow. "What does that ninja punk look like?!"

* * *

Omg! Yay! Progress in the plot!! Ha-ha. Cookies for whoever can guess who the caretaker is!

Yeah, not much to say here, just hoped you enjoyed it…With Yuffie's deep thinking…and Leon's continuing self-assessment. Random note: even though all the Final Fantasy VIII characters are about 17 in their game, and the timeline for Kingdom Hearts has Squall at 25 and 26, I'm writing this as if he lost the Garden a few years after the end of FFVIII (about 19-ish) instead….This is where my one-shot would be handy ha-ha.

Another point; I'm trying to make it so that Leon kinda keeps everything in…suppresses his grief or whatever…so at certain times, he'll just get this rush of emotions (like the dreams and etcetera) and relive his pain. …only to have it shut away again by his mental will. Which really isn't healthy…

OH! And the whole part with Cloud was just for a bit of fan-service…Can you picture it? Cloud in a dark blue tee, wiping the sweat from his forehead…? :D Originally, it was going to be Cid, but I haven't done a real moment with Cloud yet…and there is a deeper meaning to my choice which I shall tell you about later.

Please Review!


	5. Chapter Five

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything from Final Fantasy VIII or Kingdom Hearts…Square Enix and Disney do.

**To my reviewers: **Thank you for the favs and reviews and alerts! And for your guesses! The answer is here! ;) Sorry for the long wait...Work took up a lot of time and my sister was hogging the computer to write her thesis...

**Special Shoutout: **Thanks a super lot to Cheekyte! Without her, my writer's block would not been smashed wide open for this chapter! YOU ROCK!

* * *

She could feel a warm breeze flutter against her face and hair as her dark eyes opened. She could see just the tips of the tall grass and nothing else but the black expanse of the night sky. Her body tried to stand, but it could not, so she lay there, content, watching the tips of the grass move.

As her eyes started to scan the sky, her heart beat a little bit faster. The constellations and planets that she had memorized were no longer twinkling in the sky. No matter how hard she squinted they would never reappear. One night, she wasn't sure how long ago, she had fallen asleep under them. And the very next night after that, they were gone.

No one could understand why they hadn't returned yet. It was troubling, but the elders assured them that their night guardians would come back soon. _…but…when…?_

Another breeze came, pushing the tips of the grass towards her left. Curiously, her eyes followed their movements and saw what they pointed to. She frowned, not being able to believe what she was seeing. It was big…a pinkish-red colour…and it had landed in the grass beside her. She couldn't see all of it…but it looked like… _…A giant bird?_

The wind rustled again, blowing the grass backwards, towards her right, and her eyes followed it again. From the breaks in the grass, she could see rushing water…she recognized that stream…_it leads to the healer…_

There was a whistling in her ears as the wind picked up again, blowing harder, and sending the grass everywhere. She squeezed her eyes shut to protect them from the flying sand and earth and when she opened them, she was back in her hut, seeing the rising sun peak through the straw. _…What could this mean…?_

* * *

_Squall…_

He had awoken well rested from his sleep by the imagined sound of her voice. She was in a field…and the sun was coming up…As much as he wanted to stay in that blissful frame of mind, his reality scolded him. _It doesn't matter now. You have work to do. _It was the first time in the past week where he had actually slept.

He had actually slept through the night and thought of them. It was comforting.

The doors to the Control Room slid open with a hiss. Aerith was the first one to spot him. "Good morning, Leon."

Leon looked up from the sound of his name and nodded to her. It was then that he saw a frustrated Cid and an equally angry Tifa over Aerith's shoulder. He motioned his head in their direction. "What happened?"

"Just a little scratch, sunshine." Cid grunted, locking eyes with the taller man.

"Cid got injured during his shift." Aerith explained, walking alongside him as they moved closer. "One of the Heartless got close enough to..."

"It's just a little—AH! Jeeze, Tifa!" Cid jerked his hand as Tifa applied the hydrogen peroxide to the open wound.

"Will you hold still?!" With her strength, she pulled his arm back onto the armrest of the chair and brought the cotton ball down on his wound. "Why are you _such _a baby?!"

"Whatever you're putting on me—AH!" He took a deep breath as the stinging sensation returned. "...It hurts, dammit!"

"It's supposed to hurt."

"Why can't you just put the gauze on?"

"Because what's the point of that if the wound isn't disinfected?!" She applied more pressure onto the wound with her next application of the hydrogen peroxide cotton ball.

"HEY!" Cid shouted, just barely managing to keep his body still under the harsh pressure. "You did that on purpose!"

"Cid, quit complaining. You're a grown man." Yuffie butted in, rolling her eyes at the scene. There was something weird about seeing Cid, who was much bigger than she was, cringing over the mild topical antiseptic. "You know, the Turks did more damage than that itty-bitty scrape."

Tifa looked up, blinking. _Yuffie's mentioned them before…_ "The who?"

"...Never mind." Yuffie shook her head and threw the roll of gauze over to Tifa, who caught it in her free hand. There was something on her features, Leon noticed, before the gauze landed and before her smile came back. "Just hurry up and bandage this big baby so we can start the day."

"I am not a baby!" Cid's fists tightened as Tifa rolled the gauze over his arm.

"Yes, you are."

"I am not—!"

"—There. Done." Tifa said quickly, securing the gauze. She spoke a little louder, hoping to stop any argument that could start between the two. Dark eyes looked at Cid. "See? Was that so hard?"

"Why didn't you just use some Cura spells?" Leon asked, tired of watching the scene. _Why are they using such old fashioned medicine?_

"We're fresh-out." Cid nearly snarled, standing up from the chair. "Cloud forgot to do the inventory!" A pointed finger was directed to the other blonde in the room.

It was then Leon noticed the other man leaning up against the wall, eyes lowered. "I apologized."

"It doesn't mean much now, does it?!"

"Can we all just relax?" Aerith smiled nervously, stepping in between the two males. "I'll go out and do some shopping today...okay?"

_...Ah! My perfect excuse! _Although she was tired, another smile spread across Yuffie's face. Her eyes lit up but she contained her excitement from entering her voice. "Aerith, don't bother. I'll do it. You're off the clock now."

"Oh, Yuffie...but you—"

The ninja held up her hand. "—No, no buts. You need your sleep. I'll go to the store and stock up at the end of my patrol." _Now I can go check on the posters! Excellent! And no one will suspect a thing! ...hopefully, there will be something there..._

The night-crew members, Aerith, Cid and Cloud, left the room after a few more minutes of conversation. Yuffie was ready to jump for joy. The sooner her shift started, the sooner she could go back to the other worlds. _Just a few more hours...and I can check up on my plan!_

"Well, I guess I'll go start my patrol then." Tifa began, making the silence in the room disappear. She moved out of the chair she sat in to patch Cid up and walked over to the computers. "Sector 425C, right?"

"That's what Cloud said." Leon nodded, taking a seat by the monitors and checking the previous patrol reports.

Yuffie stared at Tifa, all joy leaving her eyes. _How can she leave me alone with Leon?! _"T—Tifa...uh..." _Think! Think! _"Would you mind if I went first?"

The older woman folded her arms over her chest. "Why?" _Yuffie...you better not be scheming something again..._

"Well...I..." Yuffie stammered, trying to find the right words."...I need to buy the potions, right? S—So, wouldn't it be better if I went out first so that we can have full stock again sooner?" She put a pleading look on her face, hoping that Tifa would catch on and let her go. _Please, please, please! Tifa, you know I need this!_

A frown came from the older woman. _This is about that plan you have, isn't it? _Tifa's eyes looked from Yuffie's face to the back of Leon's head. _You want out so that Leon won't know... _"Yuffie. You did the first patrol last time, remember? We owe you."

_No—No—No! _Yuffie waved a nervous hand. Her big break was slowly slipping from her fingers. "I—It's okay. I don't mind at all!"

"It's not fair. And it's not how we run things around here."

_Oh! Come on Tifa! _It was a perfect opportunity, and Tifa was not being very cooperative. _You know what I'm doing! You _have _to let me go out now! _"Look, it's okay! Really! I like going out first!"

"Well, it may not have occurred to you, but other people like to go out first too. Me, in particular." _Yuffie...I told you what I thought about your plan. I don't want to cover for you, not for something like this. You're going on a wild-goose chase with results that might not be good at all. _She knew that Yuffie meant well; she was, after all, trying to help Leon. But, if Leon wanted help in an area like this, she personally thought that he would have asked for it.

"But Tifa—!"

Leon slapped the reports onto the desk, halting Yuffie's whine with a loud, authoritative voice. "—Stop it." Both women looked at him, giving him their full attention. It was rare for Leon to act out with emotion with them. He took in a breath to steady his volume before continuing. "You two are giving me a headache. Since neither of you can decide in a quiet and reasonable manner, I'll be doing the Sector 425C patrol, understood?"

His hand went to the handle of Lionheart as he strode out of the room. "Be back at 16:30." Leaving the two in slight surprise, the door slid shut.

Before Tifa could start on her, Yuffie's face was all smiles. She held up her first two fingers in a peace sign. "Well, now that _that's _taken care of, I think I'll be buying those potions now!"

It took a moment for the words to sink in. "...Wait a minute, Yuffie—!"

"—Be back soon!" Lightning quick, her legs carried her out the door, taking the path that Leon did not use towards the garage. Tifa followed, but was a few seconds too slow. "Yuffie! Wait!"

Yuffie locked the garage door and started up her Gummi Ship in record time. She smiled and waved to Tifa, who was pounding angrily on the glass. She could see her mouth making phrases like, 'Yuffie!' and 'Don't you dare!' It was funny. _I love you too, Tifa._

She kept jiggling the handle, but the lock wouldn't budge. _Dammit! I didn't bring the key with me! _Tifa looked up through the garage door's window to see the engines being fired up. An exhausted sigh left her lips. _Oh, Yuffie! What are you doing?! You shouldn't be doing this behind Leon's back..._

Throwing her hands up, she raced back to the Control Room and got in touch with Leon. "Leon, it's Tifa. Over."

"Yes?"

She sighed. As much as she didn't want to be involved with Yuffie's plan, at this point, there really wasn't much she could do about it. _Even if I told Leon...he would have to wait until she got back...and who knows how long that will be...Dammit, Yuffie! _Her fingers pinched the bridge of her nose as she heard the Ship take off. "Remember when Yuffie said we owed her for doing those two patrols in a row?"

* * *

Yuffie gunned the engine with a frustrated hand. _Let's try Olympia...and possibly make this trip one for three...or zero for four..._The day had been a bust so far. She went back to Traverse Town, Agrabah and Twilight Town, only to find vulgar messages and inappropriate drawings on her posters. _Stupid kids...So immature...And they think they're _so _clever. Jeeze, if I had a one-piece munny for every time I saw those stupid drawings, I'd be rich!_

After this, she would only have Halloween Town to go to. Her hopes were running low, as she didn't expect much from her soon-to-be last stop. She had a feeling that those three kids from that town probably vandalized her posters. _...or ate them or something..._

Clean, spare posters and Cid's stapler accompanied her past Olympia's Gate and into the main entrance. It was empty, save for a few caretakers, so she walked in undisturbed. As she neared the board, however, Yuffie's previous despair evaporated into anger as she noticed that all of her posters were gone. Completely ripped off the board, along with the staples. And it didn't take much thought for her to think of a suspect. _Dammit, Phil!_

She turned swiftly, intent on finding the little half-goat and hitting him with Cid's stapler. And if she couldn't find him, any one of the caretakers would do. _How dare he?! Those posters were important! He didn't give anyone a chance! _Only a few seconds past before she saw him. His back was facing her, but it turned quickly enough when she shouted, "YOU!"

Yuffie took a few steps forward before Phil came charging towards her. "YOU LITTLE PUNK!" He yelled at her, hooves stomping and finger pointed, knowing exactly what she was here for. _And she ain't leaving until I'm through with her!_

"What did you do with my posters?!" She demanded with her hands on her hips. _He probably ripped them off right away! No chance for them!_

"What were you thinkin' putting posters like that up here?!" Phil frowned, pointing from her to the bulletin board.

"I asked you first!"

"I tore them off! They're no need for them here!"

"Those were important!!"

"It's a ring! You can buy another one like that _anywhere_!"

"It is not _just_ a ring!" Yuffie let out a frustrated growl. "It's a 'lost and found' for another reason!"

"It doesn't matter!" Both voices were rising in volume with every exchange of words. "If it isn't Coliseum news, _it doesn't belong there_!!"

"That's not fair!!"

"It's the rules!"

Their noses were practically touching as the argument continued, cheeks flushed from the yelling. By now, the caretakers had taken notice and stopped working, but neither of them cared. "Phil, I wouldn't have put them up if there wasn't a damn good reason for me to do so!"

"Look, how many times do I have to tell you? I. DON'T. CARE."

"But I'm only doing this to help my friend! He needs this!"

"Likely story, kid, but if it isn't for the tournaments, it can't stay on the board. And speaking of tournaments, after _this _little stunt, consider yourself cut!!"

"What?! Just from posting?! That's even more ridiculous than you not letting the posters stay up!"

"Why I outta—!"

There was suddenly a loud whistle that stopped them from saying another word. "—Woah! Easy, Phil! She's just a kid!"

The satyr turned to the interrupter. "Stay out of this, blondie!"

"Hey! I'm not a kid! I'm a highly-skilled ninja and I can take care of myself!" Yuffie had to interject; she hated being called a kid. She was twenty years old, for crying out loud.

The caretaker that had whistled looked her over. He folded his arms across his chest as a silence passed between the three of them. "...Ninja, huh?"

She stepped away from Phil and in front of the blonde-haired man. "Yeah. That's right. Ninja. Wanna see me in action?!" Her hand was twitching to get a hold of her shuriken.

The man, to her shock, completely ignored her and asked Phil a question. "Is this the ninja-punk you've been cursing at for the past few days?"

"Yes. She is." Phil stomped over to where his caretaker stood and folded his arms across his chest as well. "And she just came by to apologize for vandalizing my bulletin board. Right?"

Yuffie turned her frown over to the shorter of the two men. "What?! I will do no such thing!"

The blonde caretaker shrugged. "Want me to escort the little lady out?"

"I am _not _little!" The frown returned to the blonde.

Phil huffed and turned, worn out from the argument. "Just...Just get her out of here, okay? So we can put _all _of this behind us."

"Oh no you don't! Get back here! I'm not done with you! And I want my posters back!" Yuffie's temper escalated as Phil brushed her and her plan off like an insignificant fly. Before she could chase after him, a strong arm caught hers to hold her. She looked up at the blonde man angrily. "H—Hey! Let go!"

A smile spread across his face. "So, you're the ninja-punk I've been waiting to meet."

This took her for surprise, all anger smothered. _He...He's been _waiting _for me? _She looked at his blue eyes, his slightly tanned skin, and the strange black tattoo that covered most of the left side of his face. "W—What?"

The powerful grip was released on her arm, but the smile never left his face. "The name's Zell Dincht. And I think we got someone in common..." Rustling around in the pockets of his white, baggy pants, he let out another smile when the item he was searching for came to him.

When he pulled out the item and she realized it was one of her posters, crumpled and nearly torn down the middle, Yuffie nearly had a heart attack.

* * *

­­­­­­Tifa was expecting more of a response.

She had just told Leon everything. She had no choice. Yuffie had been off gallivanting in other worlds, stirring up a heap of trouble since the morning and had yet to return. She had done a good job at stalling Leon, but he grew suspicious. Now that it was past sundown, her lies broke and he demanded answers.

But even after her confession, she wondered if any of it stuck in his head. He was just looking at the floor as if the entire story went in one ear and out the other. _What...What is he thinking about...? _"...L—Leon?"

His voice sounded so misplaced in the Control Room. "How did she find out the code to my room?" Leon wasn't sure what he should be feeling. Yuffie had gone into his room. His. Room. She had gone into his room and taken something...something from him...

—_She took the ring. She took the ring. She took the ring. She took the ring._

...And she devised a search. For him. He supposed this was her way of 'helping' him, but whatever it was, she went out looking for _them_.

—_After you gave up._

"She...She hacked into the computer system or something..."

—_What are you going to do now? Are you going to start all over again? Try again for round two? Or are you going to shut yourself away, content in believing that they can't be found?_

He gave a loose shrug, trying not to get too involved in this. "Whatever. It doesn't matter. She won't find anything." Leon didn't look up to see Tifa's face, but she felt like someone had thrown a bucket of ice-water on her. _He...His voice...It's so cold..._

It was a sad, quiet plead that escaped her mouth. "Leon..."

Leon moved off the wall. "I'll deal with her whenever she gets back from her wild goose chase."

_He...He... _Tifa could not believe his impassiveness. _She may have invaded his privacy and did everything without permission...but Yuffie went through all of this and he...he... _Her voice stopped him from leaving the room, a bit stronger and less quiet. "Leon...Don't—Don't you care?"

_—What's wrong, Squall? Don't you want to find them anymore? Or is it easier to pretend that they aren't there...and that you've done the very best that you could do and—_

The word escaped his clenched teeth. "No."

* * *

Hope you all enjoyed it! Expect a lot of angst in the next chapter!!

PLEASE REVIEW


	6. Chapter Six

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything from Final Fantasy VIII or Kingdom Hearts…Square Enix and Disney do.

**To my reviewers:** Thank you for the favs and reviews and alerts! Makes me feel like writing! Enjoy!

* * *

He couldn't sleep.

Leon tried different positions, even tried another pillow, but his mind was too wired on Tifa's story to let him slip away into unconsciousness.

He had left Tifa alone in the Control Room, leaving her no choice but to be the one to wait for the night crew members. He went into his room and without another thought, he got into bed, hoping that when he woke up the next morning, Yuffie would have found nothing.

—_Yes, it is so much easier to believe that they can't be found, isn't it?_

He wasn't exactly _mad _at her. She was just trying to help him. She was his friend and was just trying to get him out of his moods. _I just need time…I don't need parties or conversations…I just need time…to get that day behind me…_

—_Seven years seems long enough._

…_and I don't know why she keeps persisting this…_Leon turned over, eyes looking up at the ceiling. _I don't understand why she can't leave this all alone. Why she can't just let _them _go. _He frowned slightly. _Why does she care so much about that?_

The answer never came to him and he sighed aloud in the empty room. He wasn't sure what he should be feeling. Technically, Yuffie was doing nothing wrong. She's just trying to help him.

—_By going behind your back to finish what you should have finished. What if they are out there? What then, Commander Squall Leonhart? Hmm? What are you going to do with yourself if they are out there?_

His eyes squeezed shut as his head started to throb at the mere thought. _…What if they are out there? What then?_

—_Your entire time here has been a lie. A pointless diversion when you could have been out looking._

If she did find them, could he even face them?

—_Even if you could buy the courage to do so, you don't deserve their forgiveness. The Garden is gone because of you…_

Leon sat up, bringing his head on top of his folded knees. A part of him, the part that kept nagging at his mind, did not want them to be found. Not by a third party. If they were out there, it should be _him _looking. It was his fault they were gone in the first place, so it should be him to find them again.

—_And what a big fault you carry. _

He had his chance. The chance. He stared at the large dark creature but couldn't finish it off. He couldn't stop the winds from taking them away. He had that one split-second chance and he blew it. That was unacceptable. He was a SeeD. It wasn't supposed to happen that way.

—_But it did, Squall. You failed the final test and look where it got you…_

His eyes looked over to the clock. _Fourteen minutes past midnight…_He hadn't been able to sleep since he left the Control Room and he would have heard the Gummi Ship come in…_Yuffie still isn't back yet?_

Worry clouded his mind now. She had been stupid enough to leave her walkie-talkie in the Control Room and Tifa had no idea exactly where she was going except 'out.' _…What if she's hurt?_

—_And what would you do? Caring more about your new friends than your old ones, hmm?…You couldn't protect or save _them_…so what makes you think you can do it now?_

Leon slinked out of bed, bringing his bare feet to the cold floor but not standing up. _Yuffie's a big girl…she knows how to handle herself…but…still…It's late…_Another thought flashed in his head like lightning and it made him tremble. _What if she found them? _

He tried to shake the question away, trying to reassure himself that it wasn't going to happen. _…No…I've looked…I've tried…She won't find anything…_

—_And what if she does?_

_But she won't._

—_How can you be so sure? You thought that you could take down the monster before and look how that turned out…_

His heart pounded against his ribcage as the issue he wanted to avoid with sleep came back. What would he do? How could he prepare himself? What would he say? He would give anything to see them again…but…_what would he say to them if that situation came? _Would he deserve it, after all this time? Would he deserve to be near them again after giving up? After abandoning them? What would he say to Yuffie?

…_It should be me out there…_

—_And yet, here you are. Sitting in your room…your quiet, tidy room…All alone. Seems fitting. _

…_What if she does find them…? What do I do? _This was the first time in a long time that he felt nervous. If they were there…and Yuffie did find them…what then? What would he do? The routine would be shattered, his life upside down all over again…What would he do? Being away from them for so long because he _chose _to stop looking…He _chose _to give up…and now, the guilt was clawing up his insides…his mind buzzing with static noise…what would he do?

He wasn't even sure it happened, but suddenly, he was out of bed and in front of his dresser. Pulling out the first drawer, his mind scrambled with questions and scenarios. What would he do if they were there but it wasn't him who brought them?How could he explain his absence? How could he explain _anything_? Would he have the right? Would they even want to hear it?

Shirts and socks were being strewn across the room in his search. His hand fumbled around in the drawer, reaching in for the one sock that did not match the monochromatic white scheme he had.

—_She took the ring. She took the ring. She took the ring._

He didn't even have to push his hand in past the elastic top. The sock was empty. _…She took the ring…_His mind mumbled quietly as it donned on him. _She's trying to find them with the ring…The last thing I have from them…from her… _The drawer was slammed shut and his hands were shaking.

That was the ring. Her ring. The simple silver band given to her from her mother that was worn around her neck. The ring. The one thing he had left. And it was gone. The one thing that kept him symbolically connected to them…to her…_What if she lost it? _His heart pounded. That was the last thing he had…_What if she got robbed and she's sitting in an alley somewhere, bleeding to death?_

—_What if she was in an alley somewhere, bleeding to death, calling for you, dying with your name on her lips…? What would you do with yourself then, Squall?_

His knuckles tightened on the edge of the dresser. _What then…? What if all of this…every single day of this…was a lie? _When the sounds of the engines came into earshot, Leon froze. Everything stopped. The garage was below his room, slightly to the left, and he could hear it. _…Yuffie…_

Picking up one of his shirts and a pair of pants, he tore out of the room, slipping on the clothes as he went. _…Yuffie…_

He was there before the night crew members. Even before Tifa. He felt numb. He didn't want it to happen…He didn't want the doors to the Gummi Ship to open…He didn't want to see anything. But he stood there, waiting for it. Waiting to prove himself right. So then he can go back to his new normal. So his logic and the rationalization of his new life would stay intact. _She won't find anything. She can't. She won't._

—_And you can keep telling yourself that…_

* * *

"We belonged to a missionary force called SeeDs…kinda like a for-hire military…He was one of two gunblade masters of our time. The other was a guy named Seifer Almasy…Didn't like him too much, though…Bit of a jerk, if you ask me…But then again, I'm probably bias or whatever…

"Me, him and four others, Quistis, Selphie, Irvine and Rinoa, worked together a lot…Techincally, Rinoa wasn't a SeeD; she hired us once, and then got caught up in everything. We did a lot of missions together…even one that saved our world a long time ago…"

Yuffie kept her eyes peeled for any space debris flying past their path but her full attention was on Zell's story. _Leon _never _told me anything…Not one thing…_Ever since they had boarded, he was going non-stop with stories and jokes. She was late on her return trip because he would not stop talking at Olympia's Gates! She had taken quick liking to Zell; he was funny and part of her wondered how a stoic guy like Squall could even _be _friends with him. _I guess it doesn't matter…What matters is that he's here! What matters is that he remembers too!_

After the initial shock had worn off from someone actually understanding the posters, they exchanged names and she barraged him with questions about his before…just in case. Yuffie was so overwhelmed and overjoyed when Zell began to tell her things that Leon had let slip. That's when she knew he was the real deal. _The plan! The plan worked! Everything's coming together now! _Although Phil wasn't too pleased, Zell and another coworker were allowed to leave.

Zell had told her the much-wanted story behind the ring; how it was Rinoa's mother's wedding band…how Rinoa kept it around her neck as a token of remembrance after she died…Rinoa Heartilly. Her and her father, General Caraway didn't get along that great, so she had kept her mother's maiden name as her last name… _And Squall never mentioned her either…They were in love with each other and he never mentioned any of it…_Her heart squeezed gently at the thought of Squall being in love…and having that person gone from his life…just like that…Having someone so close and then…fading away. _And all he had left was her ring…_

"You see," Zell continued, sitting back in his chair, "there was this Sorceress, from the future, who was bent on compressing time so that she could rule everything and everyone and every moment—"

"—A Sorceress? From the future? Are you serious?" She had to ask. She just had to.

"I know…I know…Weird, huh?" He laughed. "We were never meant for that kind of thing. But we got pulled into it when Rinoa got Sorceress powers transferred to her…That part's kinda confusing and I'll explain it later…Then we were all in on it…And we had to stop it before our world was toast…" Zell smiled sadly after a pause of thought. "I guess it didn't do much, huh?"

"What do you mean?" Yuffie looked over to him for a second.

"We saved the world once…from some Sorceress who didn't even exist yet…and then…" He trailed off, shrugging. Zell made a motion to encompass the Gummi Ship's interior. "…and then this happened…"

"…Yeah, I guess…I guess you can say that…" She agreed half-heartedly. Yuffie forced some optimism into her next words. "B—But, don't worry, we're doing all we can to fix it back at Hollow Bastion!" _Leon never told me any of this…There is so much more I want to know…I didn't know that he saved the world…I didn't know about the orphanage or Rinoa or anyone…_ It was like a big piece of her Leon puzzle was put into place and it felt so right.There was a silence before she started up conversation again. "So…you remember everything, huh?"

Zell nodded. When he spoke next, there was a seriousness in his tone to replace the carefree one from moments earlier. "Sometimes, though, I wish I didn't."

Yuffie gave him a side-glance, looking from him to the other sleeping passenger he had brought along. She could only mumble back. "Yeah." _…I know…I know exactly what you mean…_

He got up from his seat and came over to her. _She must remember everything too…about her previous life…_"It's hard sometimes…to have all of that and no one to share it with…" Zell smiled lightly, deciding to change the tone of the conversation. "Hey…does Squall remember everything, too?" _I know he does…but whenever I ask her about him or talk about him, she gets all giddy…_

Her lips cracked into a smile, as much as it hurt to do so. _You have no idea, Zell…_ "He sure does. Every little thing…"

"And he never told you guys anything?" Zell took her silence as a 'no.' "Well, that's Squall for you."

"Oh, you mean he's _always _been that way?"

"More or less, yeah." They both smiled at that. _Good job, Zell! You've got her happy face back! _"Well then, I guess he never told you the parts when I totally saved his ass against the Galbadia invasion of our Garden."

Yuffie giggled. "I think it'll have to wait. See that blue blob out there?" Taking one hand off the steering wheel, she pointed. "That's Hollow Bastion. That's where I woke up after the Heartless took my world away…"

"…That's where Squall woke up too, huh?" Zell paused. _So…that's where he's been…_ "I wonder why I woke up in Olympia…remembering everything…and Squall in Hollow Bastion…Who would do that? Split us up, I mean, with only pieces left?"

She could only shrug. "Whoever it was…they aren't very nice." _It isn't fair…it isn't fair at all…To remember everything and having to stare into the eyes of someone who thinks you are a stranger…_She kept back her sad feeling and pushed out a smile. "Anyway, you better wake your friend up. We're going to be docking soon."

Yuffie heard Zell snap in his seatbelt. "Is this the only way you guys can get around?"

She nodded. "Yeah. And even then, it's tricky." She had explained to him how the Navigation Gummi Blocks would open up certain paths at a time, making travel very limited. Actually, she explained everything to him. All the parts he didn't know about: the Heartless, Sora, the King…She hadn't meant to, it all just kinda came out… _And hopefully, King Mickey will never know…_

There was another pause as the blue blob of Hollow Bastion got closer and clearer. "Hey…Yuffie…"

"Yeah?"

"…How's Squall been doing?" It was weird how he forgot to ask that question until now. Zell shrugged off the feeling, letting his forgetfulness be from the excitement. The silence that followed was not something he expected, however. "…Yuffie?"

"…He's…He's okay." She could barely mumble out. "You…You can ask him when we get there, okay? I mean, Le—Squall isn't one to share that kind of thing, you know? Well, of course you know, you've been with him before and…uh…yeah…" Her ramble was cut off as her mind switched gears to prepare for landing. "Hold on…we're going in!"

Switching on the video-feed for the garage when they were in range, she nearly had another heart attack when it was Leon's face that greeted hers. Steel blue eyes locked onto dark brown. And Yuffie never felt more terrified. _He's supposed to be asleep!_ "…H—Hey, Leon…"

"Yuffie."

"C—Could you…uh…open the door…?" She stuttered. There was that look in his eye, that warning tone in his voice…_Oh no, oh no, oh no! He knows!! _This was it. She was going to die. Well, she mused, maybe he would wait until after him and Zell got reacquainted…then she would die.

A frown came her way, but before he could open his mouth to ask her anything, namely 'Where have you been?', she cut him off with a quick, "Okay, thanks!", and cut the feed.

"Hey! Was that Squall?!" Zell looked up, seeing the familiar face on the screen. He got no confirmation as Yuffie got closer and closer to Hollow Bastion's loading dock. His blue eyes nearly bugled out of his head as the size and complexity of Hollow Bastion greeted his sight.

Zell knew about the existence of other worlds; hell, he had seen his get destroyed and woke up in a new one…but he never actually _saw_ them. Just thought about them…and how many there could be. He had been stuck at Olympia for seven years, unable to move around like Yuffie could. He had no idea how big the worlds actually were. _…all this time…all these places and people…Garden was just a small piece of this giant universe…_

_Oh no, oh no, oh no… _Yuffie eased the ship into the space, wincing as she did so. She could see Leon, arms folded, looking angry, the second the ship touched down. _Oh no, oh no…Please, let this work! _"O—Okay, Zell. We're here!"

He caught the nervousness in her voice. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing! Come on! Squall's waiting!" Jumping up after turning the ship off, she ushered him out the door. "Just get outside!" The doors slid open and she got out first, pulling Zell along.

"H—Hey Leon!" She waved, still slightly afraid but cheerful. The dust was beginning to settle out and she stumbled out of the door. _This is it! The plan! _She was close to jumping for joy. _Now…Now, you can be Squall again! _"I have someone I want you to meet!"

Leon grit his teeth. "Yuffie." That warning tone came to her again, but he was cut off by another voice. It was a whisper, but the feeling that crawled inside him knew exactly who's voice it was.

"Why'd you call him Leon for?"

His heart dropped into his stomach. He couldn't take a deep breath in. _…She…They…_A part of his mind was laughing, another part was crying, and it felt like he ran into a brick wall. _No…It can't…_It was like a hand was squeezing his heart within its palm.

—_What now, Commander Squall Leonhart? What now? What now? What now? What now?_

He could see Yuffie, all smiles…and then, he saw…him. Zell Dincht. With the proud black tattoo _on the left side of his face_. His hair, still blonde, but cut shorter. His skin, still fair, albeit slightly tanned. His arms and legs, he could tell, still powerful. And he was standing right in front of him.

He was right there. Zell Dincht. Marital Artist Expert, Zell Dincht, was standing in the garage of Hollow Bastion. And Leon couldn't bring himself to shake his hand.

"…Squall? Man, is that you?" A boyish grin was plastered on his face and Yuffie was ecstatic. _Come on, Squall! Say something! Please! Everything's going to be okay now! _All other feelings except happiness were gone in the petite ninja. _It's okay, Squall! It's okay now!_

He was staring right at him. Blue eyes. Tattoo. Blond hair. Everything like he remembered…in perfect clarity. He was right there. But…he couldn't believe it. _No…I can't…No…not yet…_Leon's head was spinning and he dimly wondered if he was even awake. If any of this was real…

Because this would be the time where he would wake up.

"Squall?" Zell tried again, seeing his friend's frozen stature. He had expected the shock, but… "Squall…? You okay?" He chuckled a little, making light of the situation. "You look like you've seen a ghost or something…"

Leon remained frozen, not comprehending anything. The ringing in his ears returned and his temples were throbbing. His body was numb and his lungs could not expand. _No…This can't…I can't…I don't… _He was there. Right there. And all he wanted to do was explode into a million pieces.

—_What can you say to the people you abandoned, hmm? Maybe you shouldn't even open your mouth…You don't deserve this, you coward. You don't deserve to be in his presence or any of their presences…You don't deserve this…_

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. "I don't deserve this." They were whispered, but clear, and both Zell's and Yuffie's faces fell. _Leon! Wait!! _Before he could turn around and get back to his room, to sleep this all away…before Yuffie could grab onto his jacket and pull him back…Zell made a move. _That's all you got to say to me?!_

Five steps was all it took to close the distance between him and Squall's back. Two seconds was all it took for him to grab the collar of the taller man's jacket and pull him towards him. Before Yuffie could even blink, Zell had cocked his arm back and slammed it into Squall's jaw.

If he thought the world was spinning before, it sure was now, as the force of the blow sent him stumbling for a few paces. But he didn't fall over; amidst the throb coming from the left side of his face, he knew that Zell had definitely held back in his attack.

"ZELL! What the hell is wrong with you?!" Yuffie grabbed the blonde and pulled him away from Leon, who was standing completely upright again. _What the heck just happened here?! _The reunion she was expecting had just been smashed to a million pieces. "I thought you guys were friends!"

"We are." He shrugged. "Friends don't let friends say shit like that." Angry blue eyes locked onto Leon's. _That's all you have to say to me? After all this…that's the first thing you wanted me to hear? _Squall's first words to him in over seven years angered him. _Who the hell do you think you are?!_ "What don't you deserve? Huh? Tell me! What? Hyne-dammit, Squall! What makes you think you don't _deserve_ to stand next to me anymore? Not good enough for you?! We've been through tougher stuff than this!"

A hand went to his jaw, massaging back the pain. He could feel the sting; perhaps he wasn't sleeping after all. Or maybe he was. And all of this was imagined. Every piece just a fuzzy, illogical dream, and any second now, he would be awake and the pain in his jaw would be just from sleeping on it funny…

—_Yes, it's so much easier to believe that, isn't it?_

He couldn't answer him. What could he say? "I…I don't…" He swallowed thickly and he suddenly felt sixteen again; socially inept and awkward. "…I don't know."

"Like hell you don't." Zell frowned. Yuffie kept a grip on his arm, hoping that it would be enough to keep him away from pounding Leon into oblivion. There was a silence between the two but she was relieved when she felt the pulse in Zell's wrist starting to slow down. _What the hell was that…? _

"…I…" He couldn't even say it. Now was his chance to say it and he couldn't force his lips and tongue to work together to just _say it_. "Zell…" His mind was blank, his body cold, but all he wanted to do was say it. His brain was pushing against his skull, telling him to say it before it was all over…Maybe then Zell would understand why he wasn't good enough to be near him anymore…

"Squall." His voice was calmer now, anger ebbed away from the silence. Although the pain was still flaring on his face, Leon didn't want to wake up yet. Not until he said it.

—_You don't deserve to say anything to him…If you think two words are going to make everything better, think again… _

But he had to say it. To stop the hand from squeezing his heart into plasma. To make his head stop spinning. So that he could wake up and everything would be okay because then the routine would be kept and he wouldn't have to worry. He felt the blood rush out of his face, his tongue was like sand-paper…and all he wanted to do was wake up. "Zell. I'm…I'm…"

The doors of the garage were banged open, hitting the adjacent wall with a bang. "What the heck is goin' on in here?!"

* * *

WOW, the scandal of this chapter. GOD, I did so many rewrites for this…(sigh) and I'm still not that happy with it. I don't think I captured the emotion that I wanted to…kinda got the skeleton but with only half of the muscles attached.

Anyway, hope you all enjoyed the first encounter. Really hope I made it believable and all…

PLEASE REVIEW


	7. Chapter Seven

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything from Final Fantasy VIII or Kingdom Hearts…Square Enix and Disney do.

**To my reviewers: **Hope you like it! Beware of the extra angst!!

* * *

Suddenly, three new pairs of eyes were on Leon. Cid, Tifa and Aerith had rushed over to the garage when the sounds of the engines came. While Aerith and Tifa were genuinely surprised, Cid looked rather angry. After the doors stopped rattling, the questions began.

"Sunshine! I asked you a question!" Cid's voice bellowed again. "Who's the blondie?! And you!" He paused, looking at Yuffie. "Where the hell have you been?!" _Something freaky's been goin' on…_

Leon looked over to Zell to see a frown coming his way. "You never said a word, did you?" Zell wasn't sure what to be angrier about; the fact that Leon never told anyone about them or the fact that he couldn't even look him in the eye. _…but I guess that's Squall…_

"Yuffie…" Tifa walked over to the ninja slowly. _She…She…He must be one of Leon's friends and she…she… _"…You…I can't believe this…I can't believe it happened…"

"What happened? Yuffie, what have you been doing?" Aerith asked, confused. _Does Leon know this man…? Where did he come from? And why is he here? _

"See, Tifa?" Yuffie taunted a little. _The plan worked! Ha ha! I told you so!_ "Told you I knew what I was doing!"

"Can someone explain all this to me?" Cid asked again, frustrated. Turning slightly, he eyed the newcomer and pointed a finger. _If they won't tell me, maybe he will! _"Who the heck are you and what are you doing here in my garage?!"

"Name's Zell Dincht. Who are you?" He stepped forward a little, breaking eye contact with the stone silent Leon.

"I'm asking the questions here. Where did you come from, Dincht?"

Yuffie's smile dropped as she forgot to tell Zell not to say a word about where he came from. _Oh…shoot…I'm going to be in for it! _She hoped he would look her way so that she could give him a subtle hint to keep his mouth shut, but Zell's mouth was quick. "Olympia."

Cid's frown deepened and Yuffie let out a small squeak. "Yuffie…" There was that warning tone again. _Oh...shoot!! Zell doesn't know about the secrecy involved in this!_

"Olympia? He's from Olympia?!" Both Tifa and Aerith exclaimed. In a quieter voice, Aerith spoke again, trailing off. "B—But…no one's supposed to travel between worlds except us and Sora…and even then..."

Cid's finger pointed to Yuffie. _I knew she was up to somethin'! _"What the hell is wrong with you?! Do you know how much trouble you're in?! ...And is that my stapler?! I've been looking everywhere for that!"

"There's nothing wrong with trying to help out a friend!"

"Yes there is; especially when it involves using the Gummi Ship and the Navigation Blocks..." Tifa smoothly interjected.

"What've you been doing with my stapler?! Look! You got it all scratched!"

Zell looked between the new comers and Yuffie before turning back to Leon. He was staring at the floor, hoping, praying, that it would swallow him up. _I…I can't…I can't deal with this right now…It's not right…Not yet…_The sounds, the voices in the garage were pushing the blood to his head, whirling in his mind…_I can't take this…it's not supposed to be this way..._

"…Squall?" He didn't look up to see the concern in Zell's eyes, but the sound of his name, his real name, spoken in a voice he thought he would never hear again, sent his brain spinning and his blood cold. _Please…wait…_

Then, to add to his noise, his stress, there was a small voice coming from the Ship. "…Zell?" All eyes snapped to the blonde woman with glasses and blue eyes coming out from the ship. Upon realization of this, she frowned. "Zell…What…Where are we? Where did you take me? And who are these people?"

_The other passenger…_Yuffie almost slapped her hand to her forehand. She had completely forgotten about her; the thought of her imminent death at the hands of Leon washed the woman from her mind when they landed. _…Ugh, what was her name?! _She thought Zell had woken her up and that she had been walking behind them. Scattered between her conversations, she waved the woman over. "H—Hey! Glad you could join us…uh…" _…What was her name?!_

Before Zell could say it, Leon opened his mouth to stop the noises. _Maybe...if I say it...it will all go away..._Everything was becoming too much to bear. His mouth was like sandpaper and he could barely annunciate. _She hasn't...aged a day..._ "Quistis. Quistis Trepe."

Confusion flooded her features and she stopped walking directly beside Zell. "How…How did you know my name?"

Whatever quiet he had in his head moments earlier was shattered, and everything came back. Leon could barely hear himself speak. "…What…?" _She doesn't…She doesn't…_

Zell turned to her, his voice whispered, holding her arm compassionately. _Sorry Squall...Didn't want you to find out this way..._ "He's an old friend of ours…He's Squall Leonhart."

Leon squeezed his eyes shut, seeing the reds and the yellows and the oranges and the browns and the greens and the blacks and the blues dance under his eyelids. _Hyne…she doesn't remember a thing…_

_—Isn't that a good thing, Squall? She doesn't remember what you did…Isn't that what you would have wanted anyway? Starting over? From scratch?_

Quistis looked back at him and held out her hand, becoming professional, like the instructor he remembered. Shoulders back, spine straight, chin up and eyes levelled...exactly as he remembered it. "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Leonhart."

He felt sick. He needed to get out of this room. He could only stare at her hand, her slender fingers, the well-kept cuticles...he couldn't do anything. He wanted to wake up...at least in his dreams they couldn't stay mad. They would understand and they would remember and the hands of time and the Heartless would not have changed them...At least in his dreams he could wake up when he wanted to and push it all away..._Why...why now...? Why does it have to be real _now_? _There was a time that he wished the dreams were real... _But why now? Why _this _way?_

"Squall...?" It was Tifa's voice that came to him. Or maybe Aerith's, or Yuffie's...he wasn't sure, because everything was blurring together, nothing was making sense, and suddenly, he wasn't aware of what time or place he was standing in. He wanted, desperately, to wake up, to go back to the routine, the duty...but he knew he wouldn't. The lingering pain in his jaw made sure it was all real.

"Don't call me that." He blinked slowly, trying to get everything together, sorting out fact from fiction in his mind. Almost robotically, he shook the woman-who-called-herself-Quistis' hand, and dropped it to his side again. She was confused at his gesture; she made her face impassive, but her eyes gave her away. _...exactly...exactly to a tee...and she doesn't remember a thing..._

"HEY!" Cid's voice echoed, disrupting all the other conversations. "Someone better tell me right now! What the heck is going on?!"

It was Leon who answered him, glaring at the older man, clenching his teeth together. _This was supposed to be my personal memory...No one else was supposed to know...or care...It was mine..._His cold voice was one that the Restoration Committee members never heard before. "None of your Hyne-damned business, Cid."

The habitants of Hollow Bastion went silent at his tone, unsure of what to do. _If these people were indeed the people from his past, then...shouldn't he be happy? Shouldn't he be happy with all of Yuffie's work? _Tifa looked at Leon, trying to understand his conduct. _Doesn't he care...?_

"Leon...?" Aerith's voice came softly, breaking the silence his tone set. _I've never seen you like this before..._ "What's wrong...?"

_Nothing is wrong. Nothing was wrong. So why couldn't you just leave me alone? Nothing was wrong with my routine, this life, this present, so why can't you just leave me alone? _His thought hammered into his brain angrily, but his mouth only spoke the first part. "Nothing."

_—That's right...You deserve to be alone...To live a lie forever...Just so you can keep your head and your heart safe...Isn't that what you want? Isn't that what you wanted from the very beginning? To stick to your duties and not get hurt when people leave you? _

Yuffie put a hand on his wrist. "...Squall...?" She whispered. "Maybe...Maybe...if you want...you could show them around...?" _Squall...this is it. This is what you wanted to find before...please, just talk...tell them something...Don't be mad..._

He flinched at the sound of his name, but found enough movement in his quicksand to turn towards the door. "Whatever."

It was a tight grip on his bicep that stopped his step and made his skin tingle. "A tour? Well, how nice of you to offer, Squall. We'd be delighted, wouldn't we, Quistis?" Zell's tone had an underlying anger to it, but the sarcasm was evident. He looked at the two of them and watched as the woman-who-called-herself-Quistis nodded.

Zell leaned in towards the taller man's ear. "We're going to have a nice little chat, won't we?"

* * *

As much as Yuffie wanted to accompany Zell and Sq—Leon and Quistis on the tour, Tifa, Cid and Aerith held her back to give her the lecture she had been expecting: the one on showing the existence of other worlds, moving people around from other worlds and using the Gummi Ships for personal endeavours. And using office supplies with asking permission.

_And thanks to Tifa's big mouth, they knew every detail..._Yuffie thought sourly, although, she couldn't exactly stay mad at the older woman. _...well, at least she kept it in before the big reveal!_

All throughout the lectures, she was smiling. _The plan! The plan worked! _And while the result she was expecting hadn't come, she was sure that Squall would appreciate it sooner or later. _...and it better be soon! He really needs to get over himself...He has what he's been looking for, and now he can actually say everything that he needs to say! Even if Quistis...even if she has no idea...But hey! One out of two ain't bad!_

She unlocked the door to her room, intent on sleeping before her full-day shift, when Tifa's voice stopped her from entering. "...Yuffie?"

"Ugh, what now, Tifa? You're not going to lecture me again, are you? Because if you are, I don't wanna hear it." She put her foot onto the carpeted floor in her room, but Tifa held onto her shoulder.

"...Wait...I want to ask you something..."

Yuffie turned, frowning in confusion. _Ask me what? What could you possibly need to ask me? _"Look, to satisfy your curiosity; No, I will never attempt a stunt like that ever again."

"No...No, it's not that...it's..." Tifa looked down the hallway nervously. She wasn't sure why she was nervous, but when it came to matters like these, everyone was usually very hush-hush about it. _...everyone except Yuffie... _"I wanted to ask you...why you did it. Why did you bring _Squall_ back?"

Yuffie rolled her eyes. "I told you that already."

"To make him smile...?" Tifa's eyes were suddenly sad. "...was that it? Or was there something else...?"

There was a slight squeeze on her heart as Yuffie had to look away from Tifa's dark, sad eyes. _...to make him smile...Is that what I said? Yeah...to make Squall happy...to make him smile...because I can't...I can't do it all the time..._

Tifa sensed a change in the atmosphere, noticing Yuffie's body language. "...Yuffie?"

Their eyes met again, both tinged with sadness. _You woke up once, Tifa, and you had no idea...no clue as to who I was or who Cid was...you just barely remembered Cloud...and you have no idea what that's like... _"No. That's it."

"Are...Are you sure?" Tifa wasn't sure what she was expecting Yuffie to say, but there was something in her eyes that she couldn't put her finger on._ What's wrong, Yuffie? Why go through all that...?_

_I wish someone else could remember...so I wouldn't be so alone all the time... _She forced her lips to curl upwards in a smile. "Yeah. Seeing Leon so depressed was something I just couldn't take anymore!" Yuffie took another step inside her room, forcing herself to chuckle. "Is that it? Is this inquisition over?"

Tifa stood back from the doorway, slightly disappointed that she couldn't get out the reason. "Y—Yeah...that's it."

"Okay. Well, I'll see you tomorrow! I gotta full day shift and I need my sleep!" Yuffie playfully waved to her before closing the door. She stood there, on the other side of it, waiting to hear Tifa's footsteps before moving to her bed. _I know everything...I remember it all...but what's the point of being with them if they don't have their own proof...?_

Changing out of her attire and throwing on an oversized T-shirt, Yuffie crawled into bed with her heart tight. _...why can't Leon see that...? Why can't he be happy that at least one of them remembers too? ...at least he has that..._

* * *

The only sounds in the hallway were their footsteps and Leon's occasional comment about the different rooms. From what Zell remembered, Selphie had gotten a much more informative tour of the Garden..._...but now, it's like he can't even look us in the eye..._

The two Olympian guests stopped when Leon turned to them. "...That's...That's just about it." His eyes remained anywhere but their faces. Now that his tour was completed, his duty to the guests done, his brain froze. _...it was never supposed to be like this..._

"Thank you." Quistis replied politely. She hadn't spoken much during the tour, as she was too preoccupied in putting her head around the new information: there were _other _places, _other _people and _other _times besides hers. It was simply astonishing. All this time...and she had no idea of the possibilities. _A beautiful home...a new world...everything I've experience has a whole new context to it now..._ "It was nice of you to show us around, Mr. Leonhart."

Zell folded his arms over his chest, glad that the tour was done. Now he could start his questions. "Yeah. Real nice tour, Squall...Oh, wait...what was that other name the ninja girl called you? Leon...? Was that it?"

His jaw tightened and Zell could see the veins in his neck tense up. Leon's eyes stayed away from his. "Yeah."

"Why's that, anyway?" Zell watched Squall visibly bristle at the question.

—_Now's your chance, Squall...Why don't you say it? Tell them everything that you want to scream out in your Room when you're sleeping...They're here now, aren't they? _

His own mind was laughing at him. At his current behaviour...at everything about him. But could he even say it? To one man who remembered and a woman who had no idea? Could he apologize now, after the circumstances? What could he do? Would it even matter? Would he have to say it again and again, reliving it all over and over? After all, if Zell and Quistis were alive...after all this time...then...then... _...what if...they're all out there...somewhere...waiting...looking...and all I've been doing was believing that they were...they were... ...Why can't it just go away...? _

—_They're not going anywhere. This isn't a figment of your imagination this time. It seems that _all _your hard work paid off, didn't it?_

"Zell, why are you doing this?" Quistis questioned, seeing the taller man's discomfort. _There's something about him...Zell said that we've known him for a long time..._

"It's a perfectly good question. And I'd like an answer." Zell looked back at Squall after glancing at Quistis to find that he was staring back at him with that same dead stare he used to have. _Finally! Some resemblance!_

"Because I told them to call me that." His voice was smooth and collected, just like back in the Garden.

"Why's that?" Zell took a step forward, grinning and challenging him.

"Zell...please...I don't think..."

—_Say it. Say it. Say it. Say it. Get whatever courage you can buy and say it..._

His voice dropped in volume and his eyes could no longer meet Zell's. "...Because I don't deserve that name anymore..."

Zell walked right up to him and kept his voice down. _What don't you deserve? You're Commander Squall Leonhart...the guy who lead us into saving our world from Time Compression...What don't you think you deserve? _"Why not? Tell me."

_...he doesn't remember...? That last day...when I couldn't...when I failed...How could he not know?! How could he not understand?! Why does he want me to say it? _Leon's voice left his lips harshly."...You were there, weren't you?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You were there. You saw it. You know. You remember. Like I do." He could almost picture it; all he had to do was close his eyes...he could hear the winds, the screams, the concrete smashing against the hull of their Garden, the clouds of dirt and debris...he could smell fires and ash and death...

Leon's head began to hurt. His heart pressed painfully against his ribcage as the visuals he kept for his dreams flooded his mind. He could see the giant beast of a Heartless fuelling the storm, the lightning and the black clouds, the purple fire and the yellow eyes...

Then it came to him. The fleeting sight of her...with her hand outstretched and tears pouring down her face. _Rinoa..._Their hands that were once intertwined ripped apart by the momentum of the winds...that last touch...that last tingle of heat in his fingertips...the last time he actually felt something...He wanted to throw-up the second he opened his eyes again. The room was spinning, the colours of Hollow Bastion's walls blurring together and he could barely distinguish Zell's blue eyes from the black and the blue of her. "...I—I couldn't stop it." His voice, weak and defeated, nearly brought Zell into a rage.

There was a tight grip on the front of his shirt and jacket as Zell yanked him down to his eye-level. "I should punch your face in for that, _Leon_...In case _you've_ forgotten, I couldn't stop it either. None of us could. You're not the only one, idiot. Remember that?"

Two smaller hands came in between the two of them. "Hey! HEY! S—Stop it, right now!" Quistis' loud and authoritative voice came to him. She effectively pushed the two of them away from each other. _It's like all Zell wants to do is fight him...and all Mr. Leonhart wants to do is get hit! _"I don't care how long you two have known each other! Stop acting like children this instant!"

The three stood in the hallway silently, awkwardly, catching their breath, until light footsteps came. "Leon...?" It was Aerith who called to him this time, with Cloud walking behind her, as they turned the corner to find them. "Is everything okay?" After feeling the atmosphere surrounding the three, she quickly changed topics. "...Oh! Are your friends staying the night? Do we have to set up some couches or anything?"

"Lucky us." Zell rolled his eyes and stepped towards the woman in the pink dress. "An old-school slumber party..."

* * *

WOW. Didn't know how serious this chapter was going to be. :)

Anyway, to remove some confusion...Kairi's friend, Selphie, is the Selphie that Zell mentions. Seeing how she is the same age as Kairi and Sora, and that age is younger than her age at the end of FFVIII, I figure that I can screw with the timelines here.

Zell, like Squall, has aged in time with their world's destruction; he remembers. So, he's 26 too. However, Quistis is like Selphie (albeit, older), and she doesn't remember anything of her previous life. REMEMBER, THIS IS AN AU STORY. So, it's kinda like, when their world was gone, she woke up in Olympia and started over...amnesia-like...

((OMG, FFVII SPOILER BELOW))

Yeah...and considering that Aerith died in the middle of FFVII AND IS ALIVE in Kingdom Hearts and that her and Cloud were in love but in Kingdom Hearts have no chemistry...I'm really going to screw around with time and memories here.

PLEASE REVIEW.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the characters from Final Fantasy VIII or Kingdom Hearts. The rights belong to Square Enix…or SquareSoft, whatever.

**To my reviewers: **Sorry guys…late post, I know. But please be patient…School has started and with Organic Chemistry II making me write a hefty lab-report every week, my creativity gets zapped! SORRY!

* * *

He was floating above her. Around her and everywhere, but whenever he got close enough to touch her, he was off again, on an invisible current.

Their eyes would meet for a second; dark brown locking onto steel blue, but he was in constant motion and he couldn't keep his eyes still. _Rinoa…please…_

…_Squall_

Her lips were moving, smiling at him, as he drifted away and came back. Whirling around her, making her hair fly up all over the place, she was laughing a little, a sound he could no longer hear. The winds pushed him far away and he saw the landscape: the field with the green and the yellow and the pink and the purple and the white and the blue tails of her sleeveless jacket hitting the petals off the flowers that concealed her legs…

It was beautiful.

…_Squall_

His heart constricted as he was pushed farther than he had ever gone. _Wait…please… _The winds brought him back, and he did three complete circles around her; some parts he saw in perfect clarity…the white wings on her back, the black ribbon on her arm…but others were blurred and spotty and he closed his eyes. _Rinoa…I'm sorry…_

_...Don't tell me you've forgotten…_

At the sound of her voice, he opened his eyes and the winds slowed down. He whisked around her again, this time, catching her eyes and she followed him. His heart was elated. She was there…She _knew _he was there…She spun around with him, so that he would see the parts that he would never forget. Her deep brown eyes, the caramel steaks in her hair, the two rings that she kept around her neck—

—_She took the ring. She took the ring. She took the ring._

She smiled at him as she spun. The flower petals danced around her with him and she stretched out her arms…like wings…like she wanted to fly. _…Rinoa…I'm sorry…I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry._

Her head titled up, watching the petals soar higher and higher, up into the clouds…and it was now that he realized that she hadn't been spinning for him at all.

—_What makes you think she wants to see you now anyway?_

The crushing blow he felt in his chest sent him up into the clouds with the petals. He was looking down at her now, watching her spin for the petals, smiling and laughing… _Rinoa…forgive me, please…_

The image of her in the fields blurred out and everything turned grey. The winds picked up and he had that familiar dread in his chest, that suffocating feeling…Suddenly, he wasn't the one that was moving. He had been standing still all along…she was the one that was floating around him all that time… _Rinoa…_

The Garden was around him, the dark Heartless fueling the storm…and it was she who was being whisked away on wind currents. Lightning crashed and the light changed her...it changed everything…Her smile became a tear-streaked face, her outstretched arms reached for him, hoping that their hands could connect again…but he couldn't move. He could only watch as she moved farther and farther away from him into the eye of the black clouds—

_SQUALL!_

He was jostled away by her imagined scream. Leon sat up in bed slowly, taking in the darkness of his Room. His eyes quickly scanned for the clock. _…4:28 am… _He groaned and pressed his fingertips to his temples. _Am I ever…going to sleep again? _

He threw the covers off and stepped out of bed, careful not to disturb Zell. Any spare bedrooms they had were currently being used as storage for all of Cid's extra Gummi Ship parts. Cloud and Tifa had cleared out and reorganized one room so far, but for now, both Zell and the-woman-who-called-herself-Quistis were sharing rooms; Aerith got 'Quistis'' company while he was graced with Zell's.

He didn't mind it. Zell didn't snore and didn't move around a lot in his sleep. He actually hadn't bothered him since the tour…He just didn't want him to wake up right now because he still couldn't say it. He could say it in his dreams, he could say it in his head over and over again, but he couldn't say it out loud. _…what's wrong with me…?_

Leon left the Room without a purpose. He closed the door slowly; the last thing he saw inside his dark Room were the tips of Zell's feet. He stepped carefully on the creaky floorboards outside his door as he moved away. He just didn't want him to wake up… He couldn't…It wasn't…This messed up everything and he was doing so well…

—_You're such a coward._

Somehow, he made it to the Control Room. It was like he blinked, and reappeared. He couldn't remember anything about his journey between his Room and here. One second, he could see Zell's feet…and the next, he was in front of the door. _Maybe I'm still dreaming… _It wouldn't have surprised him if his thought was true. _…after all of this…is any of this real…?_

He punched in his code with a blank stare and watched the door slide open. While his Room was completely dark, twenty blue monitor screens and a set of overhead fluorescent tubes illuminated the Control Room. Leon's eyes gazed upward to see that one of the tubes was on its last legs, flickering on and off. He blinked, moving his eyes to fall on Tifa who was reading, preoccupied, with her body outlined in blue and a flickering white. He swayed a little on his feet.

"We need to change the fluorescent tubes again."

His voice made Tifa jump. She had been alone in the room since Cid left for patrol and hadn't expected anyone but the static of her walkie-talkie to keep her company. "L—Leon? What're you doing here? You're three hours early for your shift!"

When the initial shock wore off, she felt like the slacking employee that was caught red-handed by the boss. In an instant, her feet were off the table, the papers were rearranged in a messy pile, and she sat up straight in the chair. "J—Jeeze! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

Leon shrugged, moving slowly to the chair that was opposite to hers at the table. He sat forward, holding his face in his hands. _…is any of this real…? Is my reality…becoming altered…?_

—_This is real, Commander Squall Leonhart. This is no dream. And no amount of wishing on shooting stars is going to change any of this._

When he looked up from his hands, Tifa could see that Leon was a bit worse for wear. Even in the poor light, she could see his tired eyes and the beginning of what would be a nice, purple bruise on his cheek. _Leon…what's wrong…? _"…What're you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep." Came his short reply. He leaned back into the chair, folding his arms across his chest loosely. He blinked and began to focus on all the dents and scratches on the table. The dents, he knew, came from the times that Cid carried his equipment around carelessly. The scratches, he knew, came from Yuffie's target practice. He could probably pinpoint which incident gave way to which mark… _I remember…all of that…but I can't…I still can't…remember what her laughter sounds like…_

—_It's your punishment. You deserve every bit of this agony._

…_Don't tell me you've forgotten…_

Tifa looked at Leon, getting a little nervous at his dead, cold stare. "L—Leon?" Her voice sounded too loud, but he didn't give any indication that he heard her. She coughed, to cover her uneasiness before continuing. "…Would you…Would you like some tea?" It was a long shot, she knew, but it was the only thing she could come up with.

"…No thanks."

There was something in his tone that sent shivers down her spine…she couldn't pinpoint it…his voice was so…empty… "W—Well, I'm going to make myself some, so I'll probably make some for you by default!" She spoke hurriedly, moving out of her chair and walking as fast as she could to the adjoining kitchen. "Stay put! I'll be right back!"

She wasn't sure why she had to get out of the room so quickly, but she just had to. Tifa had never seen Leon this way…ever. Not even on his worst days. Nothing compared to this. _…I don't understand…Why isn't he…happy? Yuffie went through all of that…and…it's the exact opposite…_She looked back at him from the kitchen, noticing that he hadn't moved. He was still. Motionless. Staring at the edge of the table. _…why…?_

_Is this it? …Is this my destiny? _His eyes were starting to lose focus as the kitchen light went on. _…is this what I was put on this planet to do? …from the very beginning? To be chased…forever? _Leon felt that tight feeling in his chest again and he shuddered. _…Am I damned…? To never remember…? To slowly forget _everything_...about them and there and that and her...?_

…_Squall…_

He knew that now, Tifa was looking for the kettle. He knew this because it was behind that set of pots in the third cupboard to the left of the stove with the squeaky hinges. The pots made the same noise they always did…the hinge was as high-pitched as ever…He could probably list off the sizes of the pots, biggest to smallest or smallest to biggest, whichever they wanted…He knew that the biggest pot was missing its cover because Aerith had dropped it accidentally…that one time her and Yuffie decided to cook for all of them…

…_There is nothing…nothing wrong with my memory…I just…I can't… _His eyes moved up from the table to the warm, yellow glow of the kitchen. _…I shouldn't remember all of this…I shouldn't know any of this reality…I can't remember…them…when I should remember only them…Not this…this isn't real. None of this was…It was all a lie, a dream…_

There was a ringing in his ears and he squeezed his eyes shut. He wasn't sure if it was the kettle, but he kept them closed until he heard Tifa yank out the plug from the socket that always held on too tightly…_How could I forget them? How could I replace them with things like this…? _His headache started again, when he heard Tifa close the cupboard door.

—_Because you choose too…You couldn't find them, so you chose this path…So much easier, right? Look at all your hard work; it paid off, didn't it?…But, you can't forget that Zell is waiting for you…you poor excuse for a human being…_

Tifa strummed her fingers on the countertop as she stared at the box of assorted teas. _Now…what tea would he like…? _This wasn't her thing; Aerith was the best at this. She always just instinctively knew which tea suited whom and which tea was perfect for the occasion. She couldn't explain it, she just knew. She had told her which tea suited each member of the Restoration Committee once, but that was a long time ago and Tifa couldn't remember what she said for Leon…

She put her wildberry teabag in her mug already, a flavour Aerith introduced her to, as she continued to contemplate. _…Well, no fruity teas…that's for sure… _Her fingers skimmed over the selection. _…Chamomile? Is he a chamomile person like Cloud? _Deciding that the two had almost mirror personalities, she placed the chamomile teabag in Leon's cup and poured in the water.

Balancing the cups in her hands, she flicked off the kitchen light with her elbow. "Okay Leon! The tea's done!" She placed his cup in front of his face. "Hope you like chamomile! It's supposed to help you sleep!"

Leon opened his eyes and stared at it. Stared at the steam rising into the air, tinted blue and white, twisting and turning into weird, indistinguishable shapes…_None of this is real…It can't be real…It can't…I won't believe it… _

Tifa watched him, her worry growing. _Something's not right...He's so detached...and why can't he sleep? Who's chasing him? _"Leon?"

…_Squall…_

He looked up at Tifa's dark brown eyes, and for an instant, he saw Rinoa's face instead. He lost his breath and his heart nearly stopped because he almost believed it was real…But that picture buzzed and flashed out, shifting back to the proper face choppily. His vision blurred a little and his head was throbbing and all he wanted was to sleep…but he _still _couldn't remember…_I can't…why can't…why can't this all just go away…?_

Tifa swallowed thickly when their eyes met. His gaze felt like it was cutting through her…so intense and sharp…but…_His eyes…they're so…so sad…_ Her heart squeezed slightly in her chest, making her look away from him. She recognized that look. That sad, completely broken look…

It was the one that Yuffie had given her before her shift started.

Her voice came to her and she asked her question. "Are…Are you okay? With all this, I mean…"

His eyes went back to the tea. "I'm fine."

Tifa pursed her lips together, holding in her irritation. _No. No, you're not. You aren't fine! Stop lying and tell me what's wrong! You…You and Yuffie…the both of you…why can't you just say it…?! Why can't you just say it?! _Keeping her thoughts in check, she tried again. "…Leon?"

…_Squall…_

"Yes…?" His question came out a whisper and his eyelids were half closed. _…I can't…Why can't I remember what I should…? What's the point…of all this…if I can't remember…? If I can't say it…? What's the point…if I can't wake up…? _

It took Tifa a few seconds to realize that Leon wasn't going to answer her. He had fallen asleep.

* * *

_What the…? _Cid frowned as he saw Tifa leaning outside the Control Room door. "Hey!" He called out to her. "What're you doing out here?! You're on surveillance!" This was the last thing he wanted to see when he got back from a patrol: no one watching the video-feed.

She looked up at him and frowned right back. "Do you _have _to be so loud?"

"Why? Why not?" He folded his arms across his chest. "It doesn't matter. What're you doing out here?"

Tifa sighed. "Just…keep your voice down. Leon's sleeping." When she realized it had happened, she quickly finished her tea and left the room. By the lines on his face, she could tell that he would need some interrupted sleep…she just prayed that no Heartless decided to attack.

"What? In there?" He pointed to the Control Room door. At Tifa's nod, Cid snorted. "So what? Wake him. Tell him that that's what his room is for! We have a job to do tonight. What the hell is he doing in there anyway?!"

"Jeeze, Cid, can't you be compassionate for one second?!" Tifa's hands were balled into fists at her sides. "In case you haven't noticed, he's kinda in the middle of something right now!"

Cid rolled his eyes. "Look, Tifa…Whatever Leon's going through, that's his problem and I don't—"

"—No! You look, Cid!" She stood in front of him, defiantly. Her finger was pointed to his chest. "He's…He's going through a lot and I think he'd appreciate it if his friends would give some support! These…these people that Yuffie brought back are…are from his before! Don't you get that?!"

He held up his hands. "I get that. I get it. But—"

"—Then why don't you care?!" She practically shouted it. "Why doesn't anyone get it?! Why am I the only one who's so…so…_frustrated_ by this lack of understanding?!"

There was a pause as Cid let Tifa catch her breath from her outburst. _She wants it…so badly…she wants to know…_ "Tifa…"

"…What?" Her eyes were still frowning, still upset, that no one was saying it.

Cid looked away from her. "Trust me. I understand this. I get this. I get what Leon's going through…just trust me on that."

"Then why can't anyone tell me what's wrong?!"

_Because…you don't remember either… _He gave her that look. The same look for the third time. "It's complicated."

She shook with rage. "That's not fair! Why can't you tell me?! Yuffie couldn't tell me, Leon can't say a word…why can't they? Why can't you?!"

He shook his head. Cid wasn't sure if he should open this can of worms…Only he and Yuffie remembered. Aerith and Cloud forgot everything about them…they only remembered vague feelings…The only thing Cloud remembered was his intense hatred of Sephiroth. With Tifa, she was different…she remembered Cloud…conversations and fights with him…but very little of anything else…It was a step up from the other two, but still, not enough. "Tifa…"

"What?! What is it?! And stop looking at me like I'm a kicked puppy! Like I deserve pity or something! Just stop it and tell me!"

His lips were pursed together now. He wasn't good at this sort of thing. Cid sighed and finally spoke quietly. "Let Leon sleep it over. He has a lot to think about."

"No!" Tifa grabbed the front of his shirt. "Don't change the subject! Why can't they say what's wrong?!" She felt like crying; she was being left out in the dark..._Why can't anyone tell me?! _She hated this feeling. She wasn't in control...

Cid put his hands over Tifa's and carefully detached them from his shirt. "Leon remembers, Tifa. He remembers everything. His memories are his, and no one else's…it's not my place, your place or even Yuffie's place to get in his head…let's just leave him alone for a bit."

"But…" She looked at Cid, trying to find the words, but failed. _…why can't they tell me? Why can't I know?! _She wasn't sure if she was angry or depressed. _...why?_

"It ain't everyday you see someone you thought died a long time ago, eh?" He mumbled to her, knowing that she would have no clue. Cid shrugged at her confused, helpless look, before punching in his code to the Control Room. "His shift's starting now anyway…Might as well wake him..."

* * *

Yuffie tightened her headband before throwing the sheets over her mattress messily. _Honestly, what's the point of making a bed if you're just gonna mess it up the next night anyway? _Tossing her pajamas on the corner of her bed, she did a quick mental check before walking towards the door. _Got my walkie-talkie…weapons…potions…_

As she swung the door open, she nearly bumped into Zell, who was waiting outside, arm ready to knock. "AH!" She wasn't expecting him so she jumped out of surprise. No one ever visited her in the morning.

"Oh! You're up!" He smiled nervously. "I was going to knock, but then I didn't want to wake you or anything…"

"So…so you just stood here? Waiting for me to come outside?" Yuffie blinked. "Never mind, don't answer that….What are you doing here? You're not on duty."

Zell moved out of the way so that Yuffie could exit her room and lock it. They both proceeded to walk back towards the Control Room; a few steps in, he answered her question. "Well…I wanted to give you something…"

"A present? For me? Oh, Zell, you shouldn't have!" She smiled widely, putting a hand over her heart. When she saw her joke wasn't making him smile, she dropped her dramatics. _He's so…serious…_"What is it?"

He fished around in his pockets before pulling out the item. "Is that…?" Her eyes bulged out of her head. "Is that a Navigation Gummi Block?!"

Zell shrugged. He didn't know the technical term for it; he had just found it one day while cleaning the Gates. It was blue and shiny, so he kept it. "I guess so."

Yuffie grabbed it out of his hand. "Where'd you find this?!" _We don't have many of these…and they're so hard to make…_

"On duty. At the Gates." He shrugged again. "I figure you'd get more use out of it than I will…"

"What?"

"Well, you have the Ships and stuff…and…and…" The blonde trailed off.

"…What is it, Zell?" Yuffie looked at him, tilting her head slightly to see his blue eyes. _What's wrong…?_

"…You got more people to find…" _Selphie…and Irivine…and…Rinoa…and all of them…_

Yuffie looked from the new Navigation Block and Zell several times before stuttering out her next sentence. "W—Well, you're coming with me! With us! That's for sure!"

Zell shook his head. "I don't think Squall wants me here. Or there. Or anywhere near him, actually."

"W—What? Don't say that! He's just being Squall! You know that!" _Sure, they had a rocky reunion, but…but they're friends! He'll turn around! He's just being stupid! _Yuffie saw no change in Zell's expression.

"Yeah…well…" He trailed off again as the Control Room door came into view. "He's been through a lot, you know…And I…I just don't want to make it worse. I have a tendency of doing that… "

"Zell! Stop it! If we're going anywhere, to find more of _your _friends, you are coming with us!" She protested. "Besides, this is your past too! Don't you…want to see them too?"

"I do…I do…It's just…" He couldn't even say it; it would be weird. Awkward. Scary. He would love to see his friends again, hell, he wished for it every day…but now that the opportunity was here…it just didn't feel right… _Maybe we were never supposed to meet here…Maybe I have to wait…Maybe Yuffie altered fate and now the universe is out to get me or something…_

"It's just…what?" Yuffie punched in her code without looking. _Why doesn't he want to come…?_

"…You know why Squall's 'Leon', right?"

The door swished open, but she took a step back. She looked at Zell, waiting for him to continue. The fact that he used Squall's other name made her feel sad for some reason… _Like he's not the same person anymore…_She watched him carefully, as he picked his words. "He still blames himself, you know…and I just think…it'd be best if he looked at the new places by himself…well, with you, of course…"

"But why not you? You two have the history together!" She didn't get it. _Shouldn't he want to see the new worlds too? I mean, after all this time, doesn't he want to know more?_

"I think he can't handle me right now…" He laughed lightly, smiling sadly at the younger woman. "If you guys find anyone else out there, I just…I just want him to meet them alone…He was never good with crowds…"

"Then why should _I _go?" Yuffie questioned.

"Because you weren't there." He tried to explain. "Technically, you weren't a part of Squall…just a part of Leon…so you won't be in the way…He won't be overshadowed or over-grieved because you won't understand that part…"

"Zell…" She began, wanting to point out that he wouldn't be in the way either, when he stopped her.

"Yuffie. You're a good person. Squall's comfortable around you…If I'm there and we meet more of us…it won't be right for him. He has to come to terms with whatever shame he's carrying…I think that it would be better if I wasn't there to influence him in any way…He likes to do things solo…you and I both know that…"

She was going to protest, force him to come with the two of them, kicking and screaming, when Aerith called her name. "Yuffie! Good, you're here! We can start now!"

Her eyes scanned the room. Cid and Cloud looked tired as always, Tifa looked a little angry and Aerith was smiling. She then noticed a very tired Leon sitting in one of the chairs, fingers to his temples. _Whatever he's going through…I guess he does have to do it alone…_Yuffie looked back at Zell, understanding the gist of his argument. _This is Leon we're talking about…if there are more of them out there, I guess it would be better if he met them alone…or, just with a neutral person, like me…who doesn't understand…_

The last bit of her thought made her frown. She did understand, she knew she did. That was the whole reason for this. She understood it, at least ninety percent of it. _He doesn't have the right to be depressed…it isn't about _him _…we're all in the same boat…But, I guess…he needs to sort this out…by himself…_

"A—Actually, I think I need to take a few days off."

Her statement made everyone in the room look up. Even Leon. "Well, me and Leon do, anyway." Her fingers deftly put the new Navigation Block in her back pocket and Zell smiled.

"…What?" Leon stared at her; even with his tiredness, the look on her face…Zell…she was up to something. _I am not in the mood for this…_"We have work to do."

"If you two are going, who's going to take your shifts?" Cid continued. "We have a schedule, you know!"

Zell held up his hand, winking at Yuffie. "Don't you worry about a thing. Me and Quistis would be glad to help out! Just sign me up!"

"How do I know that you're even qualified?"

"Well, if a numbskull like you could do it, I'm sure anyone could."

"What—?! Wanna say that again, ink-face?!" Cid growled, moving to the door frame.

While Tifa and Aerith calmed the two blondes down, Leon sighed and stood up. He walked over to Yuffie slowly, frowning slightly. His neck hurt from sleeping in the chair, his cheek was throbbing and his headache still hadn't gone away. "What do you think you're doing now?"

She smiled. This was better than her original plan. _I have a guaranteed safety net! Even if we find no one out there, Zell and Quistis will be waiting for us! If the journey's long and quiet, it'll give him plenty of time to rethink everything, I know it! _"Squall, don't you worry about a thing."

He frowned at her, barely making any sense of her words. Everything in the room was too bright or too loud and he just couldn't think. "I have a feeling that I will have to worry."

"Trust me. You won't. Because the best ninja Hollow Bastion's ever seen is on the case!"

* * *

Not much to say here…Hope you liked it! The plot thickens! When the next chapter is up, there will be new worlds! Ones that were never shown in the Kingdom Hearts game! So, again, AU. lol Personally, I think it's a bit rushed…so I'm sorry…School sucks and midterms are coming up and everything…Boo. I just wanted to get this chapter out here...

PLEASE REVIEW!


	9. Chapter Nine

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters from Final Fantasy VIII or Kingdom Hearts. The rights belong to Square Enix…or SquareSoft, whatever.

**To my reviewers**: Thanks for all the feel-good reviews!

* * *

"What does it mean?" The dark skinned beauty looked up to the old and twisted willow tree. Her branches swayed in the breeze as she digested the woman's story. The dream, with the giant bird, landing near the home of the mysterious, but powerful, healer…and the intense feeling of sadness and sorrow and despair.

"My child," She began, "it appears something big is going to happen again…"

"Again?" The woman repeated softly. _…The last time my dreams were this vivid…_She let the thought trail off; Grandmother Willow was right. _…But who is coming…? And why the healer…? _"…When? How should I prepare?"

The old tree made a shrugging motion. "Things of dreams have no time; they will come, whoever they are, when they come…On the wings of a giant bird…carrying sadness along with them. Whatever they come here for, it will be to release that sadness…perhaps with the help of the healer, I am not sure…You should tell the others. That is all you can do for now."

She sighed. _Would they listen to something...as foolish as a dream? _"I suppose so, Grandmother." Slowly, she stood from the stone she had been kneeling on. "Why the healer? No one, not even our elders, are aware of the extent of their powers…How will the strangers know?"

"Perhaps they do not." The willow tree smiled. "But maybe, Pocahontas, they will unveil the mystery for all of us…"

* * *

He couldn't believe it was happening.

Again.

He was back on a Gummi Ship, being whisked away to the other worlds in search of them...again... _Why? Why now? I've tried and I...I don't..._

_—You don't want to find them now, do you? You don't want to get hurt, do you? You don't want this trip to verify that you've been making the wrong choice all this time, do you?_

_...I can't deal with this right now..._Leon wasn't sure how, but Zell had a Navigation Block and had given it to Yuffie. And now, he and Yuffie were in the Ship looking at all the new pathways Zell's block offered. When he had asked Zell himself, he had shrugged at him.

_"You need this, Squall."_

_"No. I don't need any of this. This isn't necessary." _It was true, he didn't want any of this. Not now. Not again. _"I've been through this...and I...I don't..."_

At his tone, Zell had grabbed his arm. _"Listen...I don't care what you think. You need to get over this. Because, frankly, I don't think I can knock enough sense into you alone without permanently altering your face."_

They had been standing in the garage deck alone when this conversation took place; Yuffie was off in the Ship, making adjustments and fitting in the new Block for their travels. _"Zell, I...I don't want this."_

_"Why not?" _He had that warning tone in his voice. Zell was angry at him again and it made his head hurt. _"Why the hell not?...Look, whatever you think about _that _is wrong. Just shut-up. Don't say it. I don't want to hear it...Whatever happened on that last day was nobody's fault. It happened. It happened, and there was nothing we could do."_

_"But..."_

_"No. Listen to me Squall..."_ Zell had frowned when he said his name, but the grip on his arm loosened. _"...whatever's out there to find this time around, you'll find it. If you don't...then...I'll still...I'll still be here, okay?"_

_"But I..." _He shook his head, trying to say it but he couldn't finish his sentence; Yuffie had called him over, saying that the Ship was ready. She had seen Zell's aggressive stance and frowned. At this, Zell had released his arm had shrugged at him then, telling him to 'go on.'

Now, though, as he stared at the ceiling in the resting area, he could say it. He could never say it to his face. He wasn't sure if he could ever say it... _...Zell...I don't want this again...because I don't deserve it...You didn't see me at the final hour...I lost...I lost everything because I couldn't do anything...I lost her..._

_—You don't deserve this third chance. After all, you like it better, believing that they can't be found...After all your thoughts, you don't deserve this at all._

Leon sat upright in the cot, deciding that sleeping wasn't going to happen. _...He told me that it wasn't my fault..._

_—He lied._

_...He said that I'm not the only one...but...but I...don't deserve anything. I am not special. I don't deserve the comfort of this dream...I don't deserve another chance. I don't deserve this small piece of hope...this last chance of redemption...I don't...I failed...and I... _He took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly. It did the trick, finally, as his mind stopped talking. There was a peaceful silence and Leon closed his eyes._ That's enough. There isn't a point to thinking that way. You have work to do. _

He took another deep breath and pushed all those thoughts aside. _Not now. You have work to do. _He kept his eyes closed and made sure no pictures flashed or buzzed under his eyelids. _I made a commitment, and I have to follow through._

—_Yes, look at all your hard work paying off._

_Not now. I still have work to do. It isn't over yet. _This was not an adventure to find anyone...it wasn't a last-chance search to keep his mind quiet...nothing to get hopeful over...No, it was work. Just work. Work that could eventually restore all the worlds. _Me...Me and Yuffie are going to travel...that's it._

_—You can keep telling yourself that if it'll make you feel better._

_...We're going to see the other worlds and see if they need any help in controlling their Heartless... _Leon repeated this, over and over in his head, to make it true and to make everything else stay quiet. _We're going to help people…so that their worlds do not get destroyed…so Sora can complete his battle with Xenmas…so that everything can go back to normal…_Whatever happened on this trip didn't matter; his reality was waiting for him back in Hollow Bastion. _...and I will deal with it when I get back._

He was going to say it. He was. He was going to go right up to _him _and _her _and tell them. He would apologize for his absence. He would make them understand where he was coming from. He would explain everything to them and his _choice_, no matter how hard it was going to be. He would be calm and professional and—

_SQUALL!_

Leon pursed his lips together, trying to force her voice out of his head. _Not now. Please, not now. _He repeated his mantra, his plan...it was rational, it would work. As soon as he got back from this travelling, he would tell them. He would explain. And it would be over. Zell would get it, he would understand, and he would leave, go back to Olympia, and he could sleep again. Maybe. Hopefully his choice would not be in vain. And they would understand that. _...if I can just say it...to him...maybe it will be enough...so he can understand...and I can be okay..._

_—Whatever you do now is never enough. It will never be enough to override your failure._

"_SQAULL!_" His head snapped up to Yuffie's irritated voice. "_GET OVER HERE__!_"

He stood, walking out of the sleeping quarters of the Ship, into the spacious cockpit. The vast expanse of stars and space stretched over and around him, through the large transparent dome that encompassed the Control Panel. All the stars were blurring past, and he dimly wondered how fast they were going to make all the stationary stars seem like shooting ones.

—_This is no dream…no wishes on shooting stars can change any of this…_

"Jeeze! I've called you three times!" Yuffie saw his reflection in the dome as he entered but in an instant, her anger was gone. "Oh! Did I wake you? Were you sleeping? Oh, Squall, I'm sorry!" She would have turned around for her apology, but she knew that he would have told her to keep her eyes on the 'road.' Cid had told her of his night in the Control Room back at Hollow Bastion…

"No. You didn't wake me."His tone was as it always was; calm and collected. _This is my work. This is what I've been put here to do. My duty. That's all._

She let out a sigh of relief. "Okay, good. You're no good to me sleeping anyway. You gotta take weapon controls soon. We're going to be headed into the drive to see the new places!"

"So, there are new places?" He kept his tone as indifferent as he could, squishing down his hope. _There's no need for that. This isn't about me. Or them. Or her._ He took a seat in front of the panel that controlled their attack weapons. _I'll deal with my issues when I get back to Hollow Bastion. On my own. I will tell them. I will._

_—That's right. You will. Because Zell and Quistis aren't going anywhere soon._

Yuffie nodded enthusiastically, trying to make up for his lack of excitement. _He's probably still strung out over everything... _Sometimes, when Navigation Blocks were found, they would only open new pathways to get to the known worlds. This time, however, Zell's block opened up two new worlds and one new path. "Two new places, Squall! See! Out there!"

She pointed, and his eyes followed. A red star to the right and a greenish-yellow one to the left. "It even opened up a new pathway to get from Agrabah to Twilight Town! We've never had that one before!" She hadn't felt this giddy and excited in ages. "Isn't this awesome?!"

When her dark eyes met Leon's, she saw a frown. "...Squall? What' wrong?"

"Don't call me that."

"But…that's your name, isn't it?" Yuffie furrowed her brow in confusion. …_Seriously? Is he still Leon? After all of this…?_

He broke eye contact from her. "Whatever." It didn't matter now, he supposed. Maybe he should be a person without a name; he already was a person without a purpose…what did a name matter, anyway? _Either or…it doesn't matter now, I guess…_

_—Whatever name you pick, it doesn't hide your cowardice anymore…_

_…Squall…_

Yuffie shrugged, smiling lightly. Her heart squeezed in sadness over his state. _Everything's upside down for him now…But, it's for the better! He'll get over this! I know he will! He's going to be okay…he just needs some time to figure that out for himself!_ "Whatever you say, Squall."

Leon swallowed thickly, before setting up the weapons control panel. _Squall…Leon…What does it matter now?_ He closed his eyes for another moment, but his hands kept working, knowing which buttons to press from memory. _Stop it. Not now. You have work to do. He needed to detach himself from all of this, just for now. I'll deal with this when we get back._ He needed to concentrate on his job, first and foremost because—

_—That's all you have left, isn't it? And look where all your hard work has gotten you…_

—it was his duty. His choice. And if he could help Sora, he could help Them. Another deep breath, and he was back. Flicking the switch to warm up the lasers, he turned to Yuffie. "Lasers are warming up."

_Squall._

"Okay, good!" She had turned back around, focusing on the two new worlds they were quickly approaching. Taking one hand off the steering wheel, she pressed two buttons and flicked a switch. "Defence shields activated. Let's see what these worlds are!"

The holographic computer screen appeared to the left of her field of vision, making it accessible, but not in the way of her driving. _This is so exciting! Two new worlds!_ Her heart skipped. _What if there are others there? Oh!_ She hadn't felt this happy in ages. _What if he'll find Rinoa? _Smiling, she spoke again. "Okay, Squall…this is for you! Which one first? Left or right?"

_No…this isn't for me._ He repeated it in his head. _This is a routine check of the new worlds to make sure the Heartless are not in control… _

_Squall._

His headache returned, that painful throb in his temples. Leon closed his eyes. "It doesn't matter."

"Oh come on! Just pick one!" She turned to him, her smile dropping at his indifference and his body language. _…Squall?_ He was gripping the handles of thewheel that controlled the lasers and missiles. His knuckles were white. "…Squall? You okay?"

_Squall!_

_Not…Not now…Please… _He could hear Yuffie say his name, but he could hear her too; both of them, speaking too loud, the voices melding together and he could barely decipher one from the other. There was a ringing in his ears again, with a static sound in the background, thumping his eardrums and he was sure they would burst if they didn't stop talking.

_Don't tell me you've forgotten…_

"I—I'm fine." He didn't mean for his voice to stutter. It happened because her voice was not leaving his head. The volume was becoming unbearable. It was never this bad before._ ...what...?_ "It's...my...my headache's back..."

"…Squall?" Yuffie tried again, confused. _What's wrong…? It can't be just a headache...I've never seen him like this before... _"You…sure…?" She turned around in her seat.

_…I'll be here_

He jolted at the sound of the new voice; it sliced into his brain. It was deeper than hers, but softer than Zell's…_What…?_ His mouth went dry and his headache pounded in his skull. Under his eyelids, he saw grey and black and white, changing into indistinguishable shapes, swirling and flickering...His body shook, because he couldn't remember the voice.

_…Why…?_

Then, he heard her voice again. Or was it Yuffie's…? They were competing in his head, trying to outdo one another in volume. He couldn't tell them apart anymore and it was changing the colours already. _Stop it._ It felt like someone was driving a wedge between the two halves of his brain, splitting it open to press against the sides of his skull.

_…I'll be 'waiting'…here…_

The other voice came back again, a force rocking his skull, sending his nerves into a panic. _Please…not now…_Maybe he would explode now. And his name wouldn't matter anymore anyway because he wouldn't need one. Not for where he was going to end up "Yuffie." He grit his teeth together, trying to make words. Trying to relieve some of the pressure that kept building in his forehead.

"Squall?" Her big brown eyes widened. _What the…?_ "Are you okay? Tell me! Want me to get you something? An aspirin? Cura? Curaga?"

_…For what…?_

He shook slightly, at the volume of her voice; it was overriding every other sound. Or maybe it was because his ears were ringing, he couldn't tell because everything was too loud…He squeezed his eyes tighter, trying to breathe. _Stop it. Not now._ He wanted to pull his hair out, something, anything, to get his mind off the voices...but his hands were clenched too tightly on the wheel to move.

_…I'll be waiting…for you…so…_

"Come on! You're freaking me out!"

_What's…happening…? _He couldn't take in a deep breath. And his headache was at its worse…Nerves were building in his stomach, threatening to make him vomit, because when he opened his eyes, the control room was spinning, and he couldn't stop the colours from changing into something he tried to remember.

"…Leon…?" Yuffie tried again, even his other name, even louder. "What's wrong?!"

_…If you come here…_

_No…what…?_

_—It doesn't matter what you do now…Nothing will help…_

Leon took a deep breath, a feeling that felt foreign, and opened his eyes again. Or at least tried to. They felt too heavy, but he was sure he opened them. Or maybe he was still dreaming because Yuffie wasn't there anymore. There was no Ship. All he could see was the green and the yellow and the blue and the black and—

"SQUALL!" Yuffie got out of her chair, throwing the ship on Auto-pilot for a direct route to the greenish-yellow star. "Speak to me!" _Oh my gosh! What's wrong with him?!_

_…You'll find me…_

"Yuffie!" He managed to croak out, seeing the spinning colours even after he closed his eyes. _What's…going on…? What's wrong with me?!_ All his nerves were firing, he felt so vulnerable, his muscles were tight, too tight to defend himself, his heart pumping erratically, the pressure was rising and he couldn't see anything but the greens and the yellows and the pinks and the purples and the blue and the black and—

_…I promise…_

"SQUALL!" Yuffie shouted again, trying to understand what was happening to him. "Squall! Come on! Please, Squall!" She gripped his arm and tried to shake him out of whatever he was under. _…Like…he's possessed…or something…Oh my gosh! Squall! Leon! Whatever! Come on!_

_SQUALL!_

Whatever grip was on his body suddenly relaxed and he managed to take in a deep breath. "Yuffie!" His eyes snapped open, seeing the control panel, seeing the stars, but not forgetting the colours. Not forgetting the other voice in his head. His grip remained tight on the wheel, his eyes darting back and forth, left to right, trying to understand what he did to make it that way…

_SQUALL!_

There was another blinding flash and he cried out, because the wedge was driven too deep, his heart hammered hard against his chest, Yuffie's touch was burning him, his scar felt like it was a newly inflicted wound, and he saw her. Smiling, challenging him to remember why she stood in the field of green and yellow and pink and purple with the black and white of him.

_Don't tell me you've forgotten…_

Everything flashed and buzzed out and everything suddenly let go. Any pressure was relieved quickly. Too quickly, and it felt like he was falling. His grip slacked and his heart slowed. He trembled; the force of whatever had him was still lingering on him. _…what…?_

Yuffie stared, eyes wide, at him. _What…was that…? He was…so strung…and now…completely lax… _She didn't understand his trembles or his slight hyperventilation. _…what did he see? Or hear…? What was…that?_

He counted to ten, testing his grip on the handles of the wheel. _Squall…_ Slowly. "…Yuffie…"

Immediately, she grabbed onto his arm, afraid of losing him again. "What? What is it?!" She answered quickly, eyes never leaving his face. His eyes were downcast, staring into his lap. "Squall?"

_…What…was that…all about…?_ Never had he heard another voice aside from hers calling for him. Never had he felt tangible pain when she spoke to him. He didn't understand what he did to make it that way...

_—It's your punishment. You deserve every bit of this agony._

He raised his head, looking into the concerned face of Yuffie. Leon continued to take deep breaths as they both stared at one another. Behind her, he could see the greenish-yellow star approaching from the transparent dome with tiny blue dots around—

His eyes widened and his heart sped up again. His mind immediately switched gears, nearly forgetting whatever happened a few moments before; his body was not responding as it should have, however. "Yuffie…Controls! Now!"

She gave him a confused look. "W—What? Wait! What happened—?!"

"NOW!" He removed her hands from his arm. Before he could turn her around to see for herself, a laser shot hit cleanly, rocking the ship, causing the alarm to go off, causing the lights to flash…making his headache worse.

Yuffie managed to keep her balance. "Shit!" She cursed under her breath, leaping back to the driver's seat. She pulled the wheel, sharply, making both Squall's and her stomach fall into their throats. "Shit! Shit! Shit!"

The tiny blue dots got bigger, showing the sizes of the galaxy armada. Nothing she hadn't seen before, but with a disoriented Squall at the controls…_Oh no…Please, please! _"Squall! Please, focus and fire!" She pulled on the wheel, sending the ship over the incoming attackers, narrowly missing a head-on collision. Her heart was racing; she was never this scared for the drive…

Leon blinked, taking the controls again, barely seeing the target screen that flashed up on the holographic computer in front of him. His mind was scrambling to understand what just happened and what was going to happen if he didn't snap out of this. _Come on...Come on..._ He stopped as it dawned on him. He forgot how to work the lasers. He forgot. But how could he forget? He's done this a million times and how—

_Don't tell me you've forgotten…_

His thumbs pressed on the trigger, blasting away an oncoming ship. It was automatic. He didn't have to think. It was a strange feeling…like he wasn't there to tell his hand to move.

_…I'll be here…_

The trigger kept getting pressed, hitting the intended targets, even though he couldn't see. He didn't understand. _…why…?_

_…I'll be here, waiting…so…_

Another sharp turn and Yuffie was getting close. _Almost…out of here!_ She stole a quick glance over her shoulder to see Leon, moving his hands and the wheel quickly, shooting with accuracy. _…Squall…what was…all of that about…?_ One of their defence barriers was shot and one engine was down..._We just...have to make it..._ The ship rattled again, as another blast hit. The warning lights and alarms were flashing now. _Oh, come on!_

Leon blinked again, his brain still misfiring. He was breathing, but it was like no air was getting in. His headache was still there, but he felt empty. Like whatever grip was on him from before removed everything, absolutely everything, as it pulled away. _…what…?_

_…If you come here…You'll find me…_

After another hit that rocked the ship, he was jostled awake. His eyes snapped open, focusing, and firing. His blood pumped loudly in his ears and his entire body ached, but he remembered. He knew what he was doing now...he knew where he was and why. _Aim. Fire. Don't over-think it. Get in and get the job done. It's what you were trained for. _This was routine. A simple, precise routine. He was good at this.

"Yeah! That's it! Blast them to smithereens!" Yuffie called to him as she dodged another ship, turning to the left. "Come on! We're almost there!" She flicked on the back-up generators and shot the ship forward, full throttle. _This...has to last!_

His mind was empty, simply working on the task of getting rid of the attacking ships. That's all he had left. Nothing else was there. The force removed everything else. But his heart squeezed when he woke up…because he remembered the voice. And what he said. He remembered now.

_…I promise._

"Almost…Almost…" She stuck her tongue out, out of habit, as the last of the armada was dodged. "There! There! We're here! Squall! We here! We got it!" Yuffie threw her hands up in celebration, as a forested and mountainous world was presented to them. Their ship got some damage to it, but it would be okay to fly again. Hopefully. _Oh…good…good! Good! Good!_ Yuffie smiled as she turned to Squall. "We did it! We unlocked The New World!"

He let go of the controls slowly, putting his hands neatly in his lap. All he could do was nod.

_Squall…_

* * *

WOW. Thoroughly enjoyed writing this chapter!! Even though my format kept getting screwed up...(shrug)

Anyway, for those curious about the italics, its something in the FFVIII game...a conversation between Squall and Rinoa...that kinda solidified their love or whatever. You can check it out on Youtube or something, but yeah. LOOK! Now the title of the story has more meaning!!

Ahaha, hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!

PLEASE REVIEW!


	10. Chapter Ten

**Disclaimer: **All characters are rights of Disney and Square Soft…or Square Enix…whatever.

**To my reviewers (and readers): **THANKIES! (hugs)

* * *

Zell was bored. His mind was blank. Staring up at the ceiling in Squall's Room just wasn't cutting it.

He wondered how the guy didn't go crazy in a Room like this. _Man, if this was my room, I'd have posters and colour and… _Zell sat up, running a hand through his hair. _Well, Squall's Squall. Not much I can do about that… _

His first official 'temporary shift' started tomorrow and when he asked Cid what he could do until then, the blonde replied, 'Why don't-cha go stare at the ceiling and quit bothering me!' Deciding to humor the older man, Zell did what he said and stared at the plain, white, smooth ceiling.

He didn't last five minutes.

Zell stood and stretched, feeling antsy and jittery. He couldn't sit still for long periods of time; it was impossible. _Maybe…Maybe I'll go practice some moves… _Shrugging at the idea, he quickly changed shirts and left the Room. _Now…where did he say that room was…?_

He was the only one in the hallway; with Squall and Yuffie gone, with Cid and…_what was that guy's name again?..._Cloud and Aerith working, it was so quiet. Yuffie was a chatterbox and while Cid didn't enjoy his company all that much, he at least talked—or argued—with him. It was only his footsteps as he rounded the corner, past the Control Room.

_I wonder…how they're doing… _Zell felt a pang in his chest at the possibility of Yuffie and Squall finding someone…anyone…out there. _What if that…blue thing…doesn't do anything? …Or what if it does? _Everything was so uncertain now, it was killing him. _And it's probably killing Squall too. _He was one of the most spontaneous and rash people in their circle of friends, with Squall as the complete opposite. _If it's not down on paper…or in a schedule…Oh man, he's probably pulling out his hair…_

Another part of him wondered if he should have went with them. _…but…Quistis…I can't just leave her…Hell, she doesn't even know where she is… _He thought of his former instructor as he neared the door to the Training Room. She looked exactly the same as she did before _that _happened. And she didn't even know who she was when she woke up.

_I…I had to tell her…her name…_He pursed his lips together, not wanting to remember that day when he found her in Olympia, passed out, under the bleachers. _Her name…she didn't even know that…Her Hyne-damned name! _His fists were clenched when he came in front of the door and he didn't even realize it. He wasn't sure why that made him so angry; names were important, weren't they? _And she looked me right in the eye and nodded and smiled and _pretended _to get it…_

Taking a deep breath, he slowly unclenched his fists. _She pretended to know exactly what I was talking about…Nodding and smiling and giving me that false hope for a second………Whoever did that…did this…to all of us…has a sick sense of humor. _He frowned, and wished he could unleash his fists on the perpetrator. _Maybe then, no one would have to fake it…_

He closed his eyes for a minute, trying to relax. It didn't help his energetic state when he thought like that…it only made him more antsy. _…Whatever happens now, happens…that's all there is to it. If they find anything…Squall…Leon…whatever his name is now…he has to get over himself…whoever he is…and whatever he's running from…Maybe he'll realize that no one's chasing him at all…_

Upon his close proximity to the door, the motion sensors opened the door for him. It was one of the few doors in the entire building that didn't need an access code. The one that he still didn't have because Cid never gave him one. _…that grumpy old man…_

After the hiss, there was the distinct sound of a punching bag getting pounded. That crinkle of leather…that muffled sound of the impact…It was very familiar to the martial artist. _Who's…?_

Zell took a few steps forward and saw a dark-haired girl punching and kicking the bag that was barely hanging onto the chains that kept it connected to the ceiling. _…ah…what's her name…? T…Tee…Oh! Tifa! _He opened his mouth to call her out, but lost his voice when he saw her execute a complicated combination. _…Oh…wow…_

So he stood there, out of her sight, watching the talented fighter lay a series of kicks and blows to the punching bag that had seen better days. _…She's good…Really good… _The silence only lasted for a minute, however, as he got jittery again. Watching her made him want to join in. He wanted to try out some of his moves too; he was, after all, the best martial artist Balamb Garden ever saw. When Zell saw her pause, taking a breathing moment before starting another round, his mouth took that opportunity. "Hmm…Not bad for a girl."

Tifa nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of the voice. But she didn't let it show too much. She was still too angry to be surprised. Too angry at everything and everyone who wouldn't tell her anything because she wouldn't understand, would she? Turning slowly, she raised an eyebrow at Zell as she took in what he said. "And what's _that _supposed to mean?"

He realized then that his statement came out wrong, but he gave her an impish grin. "Whatever you want it to mean."

Her fists, which ached slightly from her motions from before, were now on her hips. "Excuse me? Who do you think you are? And are you _trying _to get a rise out of me?"

Zell rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah…you got me."

All she could do was roll her eyes at his interruption. "Get out of here. This room is for serious fighters only." She turned away from him and began another routine of punches.

He gave her a look of mock surprise. "What? Are you implying that I'm not a fighter?"

Tifa gave him a smirk, not skipping a beat in her punches. "No. I'm implying that you're not a _good _fighter."

"You have no idea who you're dealing with here."

"Oh really?" Tifa stopped abruptly, catching the bag when it came swinging back to her. "Prove it."

The two fighters took a few steps towards one another, sizing each other up, until they were standing only a few feet apart. "Alright. Maybe I will. One on one. Right now." Zell started.

She stood there, putting a finger to her chin to over-exaggerate her thought. "Hmm. Okay. I could use a new punching bag."

Immediately, the both of them went into defensive crouches, circling each other with quick feet. There was a buzz in the air as the room awaited the first blow. "A few ground rules before we start…" Zell smiled as they continued to move around each other. "No hits below the belt, alright? Because it's not fair that I can't do it back to you."

Tifa let out a sigh, but he was pretty sure it was a laugh and a hint of a smile. _Men…_ "Fine. No excessive hits to the face, either."

He nodded. "Wouldn't want to bruise that pretty smile of yours…" At his comment, he saw her cheeks turn the slightest shade of pink…_She was in a sour mood when I got in…by the way she was treating that bag, she's pretty damn angry at something… _"Fine. When down on the floor, no hits." He continued.

…_if he think he can sweet-talk me into losing focus, he's _so _wrong… _With the imminent fight looming, all other thoughts were gone; the thrill of the fight was overpowering. Her muscles were already firing. She was born to do this. She was ready. She nodded at his next rule. "When you want the fight to stop, cry uncle."

All Zell could do was smile at her statement and her choice of words. "When _I _want the fight to stop?"

"Yeah. Who else?" There was a blur of skin and black as her fist came swinging dangerously close to his face. Zell had managed to lean back in time before anything connected and had to take a few more steps back as Tifa kept throwing her fists. _Left, right, left, right…_

He acted fast, taking a step to the right and grabbing onto her outstretched left hand as she followed her count. He heard her take in a breath of surprise as he reversed her momentum and threw her to the ground. Always a man of his word, he took a few steps back and waited for her to get back up.

It wasn't long before she sprung to her feet and raced to meet him. This time, he threw a fast right jab, which she easily dodged. Before he could bring his knee into her stomach, she bet him to it, holding onto his shoulders to deliver the blow.

She backed up, letting him catch his breath for a second, before coming back to him with her fists ready. As she neared him again, there was a glint in his blue eyes. He stood up straight and caught her fists in his hands. Both pairs of arms strained against each other, but Zell's strength finally pulled through, and with a cry, he sent Tifa back into the wall.

They circled each other, breathing getting a little bit heavy. With steel determination, Tifa sprung forward again, tired of waiting. Expecting her fists, Zell crouched low, but instead, she jumped up and slid into his calves, sending them both to the ground.

Rolling onto their backs before getting up, the two fighters eyed each other. Zell moved fast, covering the distance quickly and sending a kick to her stomach and a left hook to her cheek. She stumbled, but swung her body around in time to catch the side of his abdomen with her own foot.

They moved close to each other, Tifa sending three more punches to his face, Zell landing two more kicks to her arms and torso, before pulling apart. He grabbed both her arms again, as she was getting ready to land another punching combination, and flipped her over, putting his foot on her back and sending her to the ground hard.

Not to be outdone, she charged at him, turning around at the last second to have his chest facing her back. Using her skill and his weight, she quickly bent forward and swung him over her shoulder. As Tifa watched him land, her mind buzzed with endorphins. She knew that she would always remember this. All of it; her combinations, her punches, her kicks, the feeling, the breathing, the hard pump of her heart…No one and nothing could take this away from her. And no one could tell her otherwise.

He got up quickly and she met him half way, a flurry of kicks and dodges and punches and twists and they were moving too fast to notice who's hands were who's. There was a shot to her stomach that almost made her buckle. There was a hit to his face that almost made his teeth rattle. The air was electric as they continued to fight, neither letting up, because neither of them had anything to lose.

Finally, Tifa delivered a high kick to his chin, sending his body up into an arc and then down to the floor. She stumbled back as her leg was brought back down and waited for Zell to make another move.

"…Uncle." Came a pained voice, out of breath.

Her heavy breathing did not stop as she walked over to him. "…What…was that? Speak up, Zell."

"Uncle." He repeated, grinning, looking up at her upside-down face. _Man…I'm rusty…I've haven't fought with someone this good since…since……I've never fought with someone this good at _any _of those Olympia Tournaments Phil puts me in… _

She was hunched over, hands on her knees, steadying herself. She felt good. Very good. She smiled, feeling her heart beat fast…she loved this feeling after a good fight...Zell put up a good fight…He was good… _Haven't fought like that since…since…_

Zell watched as her upside-down smile was lost. _…since…when…? _She frowned, not able to remember, and suddenly, she remembered exactly why she was fighting to begin with. Because she couldn't remember everything and no one would tell her…That good feeling she had lightened somewhat as her frustration returned.

She shook her head, trying to forget it. _It was a good fight. A good fight. _Tifa stood up straight, brushing the hair out of her eyes. Her body hurt, as expected, but it was a good hurt, and nothing a Cura couldn't fix. The hurt was distracting; it was better than the other hurt, she supposed. She moved over to Zell's side, offering a hand. "Come on, get up."

He grabbed onto her hand, but didn't need it to pull himself up. "Nice moves."

Tifa snorted at him. "You only wish you could fight like a girl."

He laughed. "Ah, well, I think little bump on your cheek is gonna be a nice bruise by tonight…You know, the one from yours truly…" Zell tried to change the subject, to get her mind off whatever was bothering her. "Oh! And you can't forget about the purple patches you're gonna get from all those meetings with the ground…"

His smile dropped as Tifa looked back at him with sad eyes. "Yeah…I can't forget that…."

There was something in her tone that made him think that she wasn't talking about fighting anymore. _What's…wrong? _"…What?"

She pursed her lips together before answering him in a hushed tone. "I can remember now. I can remember here and there and him and her…but I can't remember then. Before. Before all of this…Every time I think I remember, I fall short. And no one will tell me why."

Zell looked away. "Why won't anyone tell me?" She asked him, almost begging for an answer. "I have a right to know, don't I? I was _there_,wasn't I? So, why can't anyone just say it? Dammit, Zell! It's not fair!" Her knuckles ached, but she squeezed her hands into fists anyway. _But…what would he know? …he's just like Yuffie and Cid…_Her voice, soft and sad, came to him after a pause. "…You remember everything about _that_, don't you?"

He nodded and swallowed thickly. _What would be worse…? Remembering everything…remembering nothing…or being stuck in a limbo…?_ "Yeah….I do."

Her lip quivered and her voice came out even quieter. "Yeah…lucky you."_  
_

* * *

Yuffie was moving so fast, she could barely see her own hands. It was all just so exciting! _Two new worlds! And we've just landed! Oh! This is so great! _If she could keep a tune, she'd be singing. But she knew that Squall had a headache and she figured she'd spare him for now.

They were both preparing medicine/magic bags for the people or animals or things that were harmed by the Heartless or whatever. Cura, Fira…anything they had on board as stock was put into the large canvas bags. And while she was cramming everything in, Squall, just as she knew him, took his time, sorting, organizing, and finding the best place to fit everything little thing.

"Okay! Done! Let's go!" She cheered, throwing her heavy bag over her shoulder. Yuffie moved to the door, expecting to hear footsteps, but got nothing. She turned back around. "Come on, Squall! Jeeze, can't you be messy for once?"

At the sound of his name, he looked up and blinked once, before returning to his task. He should have chastised her for calling him the _wrong _name, but it probably didn't matter anyway. _Nothing does…not even this excursion. Not even that headache. Not even the voice…because I can't deal with it right now…_

He heard her get close, but he didn't look up again. He was busy stocking his bag so that he could get the most out of the space provided. _Cura…Blizzaga……There. That should do it. _It was neat and organized and everything was where he could find it because that was the way he was trained to do things. "Yuffie, I can't afford to be messy. It's easier to find things when I know where they are." He finally addressed her question. _Besides, in life or death situations, every second counts…and if I have to waste a minute looking for the right potion, someone could die._

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, I wanna do some exploring! I wanna see the people here!"

He shouldered his bag easily. "Judging by your loud landing, I think we won't have to look far. They've probably came to investigate."

"I apologized, okay? It's not my fault that one of the engine's busted…" Yuffie spun back around. "So, come on! We've got people to meet!"

"Yeah." There was that tone in his voice, that sad, defeated tone, and she immediately turned back around to face him. She put her bag down and put her hands on her hips.

"What's wrong?" She asked with a bit of a frown, but she knew his answer before he said it. _He keeps giving me that tone…_

"I'm fine."

"No. No, don't use that one on me now. You get all freaky when we were driving over here and you keep saying it was nothing! And don't tell me it was a headache either because I know better! What _was _that all about?"

…_I promise…_

…_Squall…_

Leon frowned back at her, or maybe at the voice. "It's none of your concern. I'm fine."

Her lips pursed together, but she willed her anger away. _He's going through a lot right now…And he's still Leon…so, he wouldn't tell you anyway…You can't work miracles in a day… _"Okay. Okay. Fine. Whatever." She picked up her bag. "Now, can you at least _try _and be happy when we meet these people?"

He gave her a blank stare and Yuffie smiled. "Perfect! Just the face I'm looking for!" Picking up her bag and her shruiken, she practically skipped out the door. _He'll tell me when he's ready…He has to…he doesn't have a right to be sad anymore…_

The sun was bright as she exited the ship. When her eyes readjusted, she saw that the sky was a deep blue, that there were trees everywhere with flowers and foliage and the air smelled so sweet…all Yuffie could do was stop and take a deep breath in. Of all the worlds she'd seen, none had had this calming effect on her. _…Wow…everything's so pretty… _To add to the majestic first impression, bright red birds flew from one green tree to another.

She turned slightly and her heart felt elated, because she had caught Squall _actually _enjoying the view in her peripherals. If it had been any other situation, she would have teased him…_But…he's going through a lot…so I guess I'll spare him until he fixes himself up…_ "Ain't it nice?"

He nodded, but dismissed her question. "Come on. We have to see if there's been any damage…" It was a beautiful landscape, but his mind had already switched gears to do the task at hand. He tried to not let the familiarity of the greens and the blues and the yellows and the pinks and the purples get to him because that was not what this was about.

Leon walked forward in silence, just the sound of his footsteps and clanging potion bottles echoed. Yuffie closed and locked the door to the Gummi Ship and ran back to catch up with Squall. "Huh. Where is everyone? I thought you said they'd come running to my obnoxious landing…"

He shrugged. "Maybe they aren't here yet." It was strange to him; this world was so quiet…as if no people lived here…just a giant forest…completely untouched by man…_This can't be another Deep Jungle World, can it? _Yuffie's landing had created a bit of an open space, as some trees were crushed under the weight of the Gummi Ship, so the two of them walked towards the denser forest area in front of them.

"Yeah, _or _maybe you're wrong and no one heard!" Yuffie chided, finally walking in stride with him. "And slow down, already! It's not fair that you have longer legs than I do!"

Leon rolled his eyes, slowing his pace down so that she could keep up. "How's your headache going…?" She continued, trying to get over the silence. Yuffie looked up at him, but saw that his attention was elsewhere; she repeated her question, louder, "Hey! I said, how's your—?"

He frowned at the trees in front of them. _…what was that noise…? _"—Yuffie."

"What? I'm just asking—"

"—No, Yuffie." He could have sworn he heard something. Or saw something. Or maybe his mind was playing tricks on him because he hadn't sleep well for a couple of days. Or was it weeks? _…no, I'm sure…there was something…_

"—if you want a Cura or something because—" She didn't get to finish her thought because a gloved hand was slapped over her mouth before she could continue. "—Mmph!"

"Yuffie. Be quiet." He whispered to her; now he was certain. Something had moved within the thick foliage. He had seen that blur of fast motion as whoever was hiding changed positions.

She frowned at him, trying to understand…She followed his line of vision, focusing on the trees Squall was staring so intently at. _…what is his prob—? OH! _Yuffie's eyes opened as she saw the movement too. _Oh! Jeeze! Someone's there! _Her instincts told her that the reason they were being elusive was because they were either scared of them…or preparing an attack on the unsuspecting foreigners.

His hand moved off of her face and instead went to rest on Lionheart. "You saw them too, right?" His voice was still low, trying not be threatening, trying not to cause an unwanted and unnecessary attack. But to be safe, to be true to his training, his hand tightened the grip on Lionheart's handle.

Yuffie calmed down after the initial shock; she was a ninja after all, she should be used to being watched. _…but it's usually _me _doing the stalking… _"Squall…" She kept her eyes forward, talking softly. "What do we do?"

His eyes stayed on the forest too. Taking a deep breath, he called out to them. "Hello? …If anyone is there, we're not here to hurt you."

Yuffie saw some movement and took a tiny step forward. "We don't mean any harm! We're here to help—eep!!" Her loud declaration ended off in a squeak as an arrow whizzed past her cheek and embedded itself firmly in the tree behind her.

Lionheart was drawn in a blink of an eye and he dropped the bag to the ground. He did not take up an attack stance and called out to them again. "We are not here to hurt you. Cease fire!"

There was a pause and then some commotion. "Drop your weapons." Boomed a voice from the trees. "If you are not here to harm, drop them."

Yuffie immediately obeyed, sticking one of the sharp points of her shruiken into the earth. She waved her hands in front of her face. "See? No harm!"

Leon frowned at the people he could not see, but followed suit after Yuffie. "We're here to help."

The leaves of bushes and trees were pulled back and the two of them were met with over twenty pairs of eyes. Dark skin, dark hair, with several arrows pointed and bowstrings drawn taut and ready. _Jeeze! They were _all _hiding?! We're outnumbered like crazy! _Yuffie could not believe the numbers; she couldn't even detect it! She turned to Squall, who was still frowning.

The voice that spoke before called again. "Drop your weapons."

Yuffie was about to retaliate, to tell him that her shruiken and Squall's gunblade were their only weapons, when she saw the bows and arrows of their unseen enemy lower. She lowered her hands, seeing the threat dissipate. _…where are we?_

The owner of the voice stepped forward. Upon his head was an elaborate feathered headdress and his face was marked with red dye. _He must be the leader… _Yuffie analyzed. "W—We're here to help, okay?" She tried again.

The leader nodded, locking eyes with her. "My apologies, my sister…" His eyes darted over to Squall's next, looking right at his scar and through his frown. "…My brother. We have been more careful with new faces since the last white-man arrived…But we too mean you no harm."

Yuffie was about to retaliate again, to ask him what was the point of the arrow that nearly got her face, when Leon spoke. "We've come to aid your injured." He motioned to the bag he had let drop. "That is all."

"We have all the medicine we need to aid our injured…" The leader explained. "But, weary travelers, you are free to stay and do what you have come to do." His arms stretched out in a welcoming gesture. "We are the Powhatans, and I am Wahunsenacawh, the Chief of this tribe. Welcome to our land."

* * *

OMG, SORRRY FOR THE LONG UPDATE. But school sucks.

Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed it! =) Zell is such a flirt. And for those who haven't guessed yet, yes, the new world is Pocahontas' world. I actually google'd the name of her dad...=)

PLEASE REVIEW


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Disclaimer: **All characters are rights of Disney and Square Soft…or Square Enix…whatever.

**To my reviewers (and readers): **THANKIES! (hugs) Wow, this is a fast update!

* * *

Leon and Yuffie walked in stride with the Chief. The other villagers were still wary of the newcomers so they followed a few steps behind. While Leon remained silent, Yuffie did all the talking. "Your home is really beautiful!"

"Thank you. We live in harmony with our Mother Earth so that she can show us how beautiful the world truly is." Chief Wahunsenacawh answered calmly.

"I wish I could see this much nature back where I live!"

"Are you too from the Land Across the Waters?" The Chief turned, looking at her.

Before she could say anything, Leon lied for her. "Yes. We are."

He nodded. "Our last visitors had come from the Land Across the Waters...But you two dress differently than they did. And your mode of transportation varies greatly. Never have I seen anything but birds fly..."

Yuffie smiled. "It's a wonder what technology can do!"

The Chief regarded her strangely and Leon gave her a glare from behind him. Before she could explain, the Chief shrugged. "Whatever you may have in your home matters not. You are here now, and we will share the gifts that the Mother has given us until you decide to leave."

"Thank you!" She smiled again, really grateful that she didn't have to explain what their technology was. _That would have been impossible! _"You're too kind!"

Chief Wahunsenacawh looked over to the taller white man. "You said you have come for medicine. Why?"

Keeping himself calm and professional, Leon responded with another lie. "There has been a sickness taking over our land. We have come to make sure it hasn't traveled here." With all the lies in his life, he reasoned, what could one more do?

—_You're so good at lies, aren't you, Commander Squall Leonhart? You lie to Zell, to Quistis, to yourself...you're so good at this, aren't you?_

The Chief frowned and stopped walking. "Are you infected with this illness?" He asked angrily, turning to face the two.

"N—No!" Yuffie stammered, waving her hands in front of her face, trying to keep the lie. "We're just here to help!"

The frown never left the Chief's face, and it slowly became the facial expression of the other villagers who were with them. "If you have come here with the purpose of trickery, to decimate our population, I will warn you that we do not accept such foreigners."

Leon stepped in front of Chief Wahunsenacawh, looking him right in the eye and frowning right back. "I can assure you that neither me, or my companion, carry the infectious agent. We bring only medicine from our land."

There was a tone in Leon's voice that Yuffie recognized. It was hard and cold, strict and unwavering. _...That's his business voice...His poker face... _She dimly wondered how he could switch so quickly between this voice and the one no one ever heard. _...Squall..._

The two men let a silence pass between their stand off. The Chief, after looking at Leon right in the eye, let his suspicion drop. Yuffie let out a huge mental sigh of relief. _There would have been a major problem if he didn't believe us! How else would we be able to search the grounds? _"...My apologies, again."

"Apology accepted, Chief Wahunsenacawh." Leon nodded. Yuffie had to smile at him then. _Jeeze, how was he able to remember that name? _And _how to pronounce it?! Man, if it wasn't for that poker face, the Chief would have never let us through!_

There was silence again as the pace resumed. Branches were pushed back and they both stepped lightly on the ground, not wanting to hurt the Mother the tribe relied on. The Chief's deep voice came to them after another branch was moved. "What are the symptoms of this illness of which you speak?"

Leon spoke smoothly, with his story already formed in his mind. He was already prepared; he had been trained to think quickly on his feet. "Those infected fall into a sleep...where they can't wake up." It was the best way he could describe the fatal attack of the Heatless without explaining the background story.

—_Keep lying, Squall...and see how far it gets you this time..._

"I see."

Yuffie looked at Squall quizzically, not liking his response. _But...we don't have any medicine that can cure _that _kind of attack from a Heartless... _She just hoped that there were no cases of that here. _Please, please, please! That's a giant loophole in our story that we can't afford! Our medicine only helps mild scratches from the Heartless, not a full-on stealing of the heart!_

"The sleep is the final stage of the sickness." Leon continued, elegantly removing the loophole. He had seen Yuffie's stare but was already prepared for it. "At that point, it is too late. Our medicine will prevent that stage from happening, when given early enough."

Yuffie let out another huge mental sigh of relief.

"Understood." The Chief nodded, although he didn't really understand. _What...what type of wound can cause this...? _There were only a few more steps until they came upon a clearing. There were huts and tipis and wigwams, made from trees bark, leaves and animal hide, scattered amongst the clearing with cackling fires at almost every one. Women, children and the elderly looked up and stopped what they were doing when the Chief came into view. One pair of dark eyes stared intently at the two, heart fluttering, curiousity growing.

He addressed the crowd after a moment of pause. "My people, we have visitors. Ones that will tend to our sick with medicine from the Land Across the Water. Treat them as your own; they are friends, not foe." At his declaration, the people nodded, trusting Chief Wahunsenacawh's judgement of the newcomers.

Turning to the foreigners, the Chief nodded to them. "Allow me to show you your temporary living quarters."

The warriors behind Leon and Yuffie quickly disassembled, returning to their mothers or wives or homes to leave them with the Chief. Being quiet for so long, Yuffie had to interject, pointing at the houses she had only read about. _This place keeps getting better and better! _"Oh! I've never lived in one of those before!"

Chief Wahunsenacawh could only smile at her sweet, naïve nature. "Then what an experience this will be for you. Please, follow me."

Yuffie skipped over to the Chief, walking right beside him, to leave Leon standing at the edge of the clearing. He stood there for some time, just watching, not thinking. It was strange to have this kind of peace in his head. With the past couple of days, it was a wonder how just standing in this world could make his mind go silent. He cherished it though, grateful for whatever powers this new world had over him. _...even if...it's only for a few seconds...to forget...to make everything just fade...away..._

The people of the tribe scurried around, preparing for them, some with suspicious faces, and others with smiles. But there was one that could not stop looking; not until her arm was jostled. "Pocahontas! Stop staring!" Her best friend, Nakoma, whispered firmly. "Come on, we have to set up their beds!"

In their movements, they were so orderly, setting up a new tipi for them with practiced ease. His mind was so blank as he watched them but it confused him because he didn't know why he could stare and not think. And for some reason, he was so mesmerized by all the green and yellow and pink and purple, but this wasn't about _that_ so he shouldn't have been thinking about it, but then again, he wasn't thinking now, was he?

There was more commotion as the tipi's main support structure was being hammered into place. He could see them, but he wasn't really looking. Everything was just so quiet and orderly in this world that it made everything in his head just stop. He could hear nothing, no voices, no talking, no breathing and no pressure. It was surreal. He couldn't explain it and that confused him.

Leon blinked finally, the bright light of the sun making staring difficult, and he saw that someone was walking towards him. She had dropped the wood she was carrying, and much to another's protest, she left the working group. The image flashed and buzzed out, but with a hard blink, he could see the scene clearly. A tall, dark-skinned woman with a turquoise necklace, long dark hair and an orange tattoo on her upper arm had come to see him.

"Kwey kwey." She smiled at him, but after seeing nothing in his eyes, she explained. "It means hello, in our language."

He nodded at her and realized that he should have been following the Chief and Yuffie because he couldn't see them anymore. _Great... _In his lapse, his distraction, he had forgotten why he was there in the first place. Horrible things happen when people get distracted because they can't focus. Split second decisions have to be made at every point in time. He had to stay focused to go in and get the job done. He couldn't waste time. _...I should know better...Where are they? _

The woman picked up on his searching eyes immediately. It took Leon a second to realize that she hadn't moved from her position in front of him. "Come. I will show you were my father is."

Long, slender fingers encircled his wrist as she pulled him along. He felt a tingle there, but ignored it. "...Your father?" Leon found himself asking, sounding millions of miles away. It wasn't his business and he really didn't care, but the words were out of his mouth before he could stop it. He supposed that he could let it slide; this world affected him strangely. _You need to focus. Breathe. Stay calm._

The woman nodded, smiling again. "Yes. Chief Wahunsenacawh is my father."

As they weaved through the people of the tribe, Leon could have sworn he heard the flutes and the clarinets again...but he shook his head because this wasn't about _that_. It took him a second to find his focus, his ingrained sense of duty, and when it came to him, his world came back. He was surprised at how quickly he was able to shut it off now. It was comforting.

_...Squall..._

The two of them arrived at a rather large tipi and the woman held open the flap of animal hide for him. He heard the Chief's voice before he saw him inside. "—and it is made to withstand wind and rain..."

Yuffie was so amazed. She always got like this when they found new worlds because every world was different. Although this world was very primitive compared to Hollow Bastion, it didn't take away from its magnificence. _This...is...so...cool! _She could barely contain her excitement; lucky for her, the Chief was very amused by her behaviour. Most of the time, the new people would just look at her funny. _The people...the place...the way they do things...So cool!_

There was a breeze on her back and she spun around to see Squall. "Oh! There you are! Look! This is going to be like our hut! It's going to be made of animal hide! You know, like their skin and stuff! And we're even going to have our own fireplace-thing on the outside!" She had thought he was behind them the entire time, but when the Chief and her entered the tipi, she realized he wasn't. It didn't worry her though; this was _Leon _they were talking about. _Besides, the Chief is so interesting!_

Yuffie noticed the woman a few seconds later, after her ramble. "...Oh! Hiya! ...Who's your friend, Squall?"

Leon frowned at her choice of name, but realized that she had asked him a question that he did not know the answer to. He turned to the woman who had dragged him here and blinked. "I..."

The woman smiled lightly but it was the Chief instead who answered. "She is my daughter, Pocahontas."

Yuffie waved at the woman, all smiles, before the Chief's voice made her turn around again. "My apologies again, my sister, but what is your given name?"

Grinning, she pointed a finger to her chest. "I'm Yuffie! And that statue over there is Sq—"

"—Leon." His voice finished coldly. There was a roll of Yuffie's eyes that both the Chief and Pocahontas caught. Neither decided to voice their opinion of the name change, however, as the man-who-called-himself-Leon looked quite determined to keep that name final. _He can call himself whatever he wishes...it does not matter here... _The Chief thought to himself, eyeing the scarred man curiously.

"Well, now that we've all been introduced, what else can you show me?" Yuffie's excitement returned; not even Squall's sour mood could change it. She just wanted to know everything and see everything in this place. _Zell's Block is sweet! I can't wait to tell everyone back home about this place!_

The woman smiled. "Father, if it is alright with you, I would like to show them around." At his nod, Pocahontas eagerly took Yuffie's hand and led her out of the tipi. She turned before fully exiting the structure. _They...are so different...and strange... _"...Leon? Would you like to come to?"

He never did acknowledge the question, but simply walked out of the tent and followed them. On the tour, perhaps, they would encounter the Heartless and be able to stop them before they approached the peaceful village. _Maybe...and then, our work will be done here. And we can go home._

—_And then, you can go home, and talk to Zell and Quistis and not lie to them anymore. They aren't going anywhere, you know._

The three of them passed by the villagers who were still constructing the tipi but were stopped when Pocahontas grabbed another woman. "Nakoma! Come on! We have to show them around!"

"What? Wait, Pocahontas! We have work to—!" Before she could protest, the second woman was being pulled along, having Pocahontas' hand around her wrist.

"Don't worry! Father has given me permission!"

"Yes, but your father didn't give me any! I have to stay and set up." The lumber she had been carrying nearly dropped on someone's foot, but Nakoma had no time to apologize, as her friend kept walking.

Being held by Pocahontas' other hand, Yuffie looked over at the friend. "Hi! I'm Yuffie! What's your name?"

Nakoma blinked, not sure if she should trust the two new white people. She remembered all too well what nearly happened last time. _Ugh, Pocahontas...what are you doing? Again?_ At her pause, Pocahontas smiled. "Her name is Nakoma. She is my wichkewan, my friend."

"Your wich-a-what?" Yuffie just shook her head. _Oh man...they are so interesting! This is so cool! But I doubt I'll be able to talk in their language at all!_ "Never mind. I'll just call her Nakoma."

"It's wichkewan." Nakoma repeated to the petite woman, finally breaking free of Pocahontas' grip to walk alongside her. "And who is your wichkewan?" She made a motion to the man behind them. The white woman did not rouse her suspicions...but the man did. _He does not look like a medicine man...he looks more like a warrior... _Although the last group of white men had left on good terms, she felt that there was just something strange about these two. _Hmm...maybe _that's _why Pocahontas likes them so much..._

Yuffie made a face. "That's Leon."

Pocahontas smiled at Yuffie's facial expression. "Why the face?"

She knew that Squall wouldn't be pleased with her if she said anything about _that _and even though she didn't want to lie to Pocahontas, she shrugged. "Sometimes," She leaned in, as if it was a big secret, "he's mean to me."

Both of the native women turned to look at him. All he could do was roll his eyes. "She tends to over-exaggerate a lot." _...What is she doing? _He had walked behind them with the purpose of not being brought into conversation. He didn't want to talk, unless it had something to do with their work. Their duty. Their service to protect them. _There's no point of any of this..._

"Oh! I do not! You're mean to me and you know it!"

"Yuffie. Please. Stop. You're giving me a headache." He lied again.

"See? I told you!"

At Yuffie's whine, Nakoma and Pocahontas exchanged quiet laughter. Pocahontas continued to pull the petite woman along, through the trees, her mind working. _Are these the people from my dream? The ones with great sadness...who will show us the healer? _With Yuffie's childish personality, the petite woman did not strike her as the one who would be carrying the sadness.

The other man, the one who called himself Leon, was another story. _Stone blue eyes... _When she had gone up to him to say hello, his eyes were distant but hard. He was concentrating on something, something she did not understand, because she couldn't see it in his eyes. _The window to his soul is blocked...locked away because he wills it to be so... _

The trees around them rustled, as their animal friends walked with them. "Pocahontas! What's that called?" Yuffie eagerly pointed to the object in the tree that hopped from branch to branch, following them. _I just can't get over this place! It's so awesome! _Both native women smiled at Yuffie's quick change in topics and emotion.

It took Pocahontas a second, but she recognized the dark blob and whistled to it. "Meeko!"

The racoon immediately came, stopping right in front of Pocahontas, stopping their walk. Yuffie nearly squeaked in surprise, not expecting anything to come from the racoon. It looked up expectantly at the woman who had called him. "What does it want?" Yuffie whispered. She hid slightly behind Pocahontas, not knowing how to deal with wild animals. _Well, it's only a racoon...but still!_

"Food, of course." Nakoma rolled her eyes. "You feed that animal once, and it never leaves you alone! Its stomach is a bottomless pit!"

Pocahontas reached over to a nearby bush and swiped some berries. "Here you go." Meeko happily grabbed the berries in his furry paws and shoved them in his mouth all at once. "Easy, Meeko..." Pocahontas giggled.

"How do you say 'racoon'?" Yuffie asked, amazed at the furry little creature that came when called over. All Leon could do was pinch the bridge of his nose. _...really, Yuffie...what are you doing?_

"Esiban." Pocahontas answered, petting Meeko.

"Is he your pet?"

"Yes...You can say that."

"Do you have any others? Oh! And how did you teach him that trick?"

Before Pocahontas could answer her again, Leon interrupted sternly. _That isn't how we do checks...You are not supposed to ask personal questions like that..._"Yuffie. Those questions aren't relevant." Just like a child caught red-handed, Yuffie stopped herself from asking another one and looked at the ground. The native woman turned to the white man.

"...Leon, it is alright. I don't mind answering...."

"Oh, don't worry! It's okay, Pocahontas! Come on! You got a tour to give us!" In a flash, Yuffie was back, all smiles and it was her now, who pulled the native woman forward slightly, trying to convince Pocahontas that it was okay. _Show me around! I got people to meet! _"So, how far does your village extend to?"

"There are no real boundaries here, Yuffie." Pocahontas began, not forgetting Leon's tone of voice and strict personality. "We share the Earth with our brothers and sisters from other tribes."

"Have you heard of any disturbances coming from their villages?" Leon asked, content that the topic of conversation was back to where it should be. They couldn't afford to get distracted with such trivial things; they had a job to do. This walk was all for their work. That's it. _And that's all it will be. Because there is nothing else here to find._

—_And you can keep telling yourself that if it will make you feel better._

"...Disturbances?" Nakoma repeated, not letting her suspicions show. _...I thought they were healers..._

"No." Pocahontas answered, eying Leon. "There have been no wars or visitors since the last white man came on our shores."

_Then the Heartless haven't found this world yet...Either that, or they are in hiding... _The thought didn't calm him. Maybe they had come early enough. Maybe they could organize an attack plan and surprise the dark creatures before they had a chance to attack. Leon's mind worked quickly, but he knew that for any of his thoughts to work, he would have to bring in the Heartless somehow... _Maybe they will be the ones who carry the illness I talked about to_ _Chief Wahunsenacawh...that would get them into battle..._

"...Leon?" Pocahontas cocked her head to the left slightly as her voice got him out of his thoughts. She could see his mind working in his eyes. It saddened her, somewhat, to be only able to see that and nothing else. _A sharp...calculating mind..._

"Yes?"

She smiled, holding back a giggle. "You and your companion are very different. How do you two get along?"

Yuffie had to laugh. She had to. _This is going to be great!_ "It's very hard. But we manage!"

* * *

Okay, firstly, SORRY FOR THE FILLER CHAPTER, but I had to get this introduction part out of the way. I was thinking of having some sort of major conflict happen (a Heartless attack or something) but it didn't happen....so, yeah.

Anyway, just a light, happy chapter to soothe over the seriousness of the previous...what? ten angst-ridden ones? lol OH! And because I'm a loser, I looked up some Algonquian words on the internet...I know that Pocahontas' people spoke Pohawtan, but there isn't a dictionary online that I can use...SO, I'll be substituting. (I just hope these internet sites are accurate...)

Next chapter, expect some Hollow Bastion, some crazy dreams and maybe a Heartless attack?

PLEASE REVIEW


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!): **Thanks guys! Hope you like this one! Special shout-out to Cheekyte who helped me with my writer's block and inspired the opening to this chapter!

* * *

"To protect yourselves, I'm giving ya one pick from my weapon chamber. Just one. So pick wisely." Cid announced to the Olympian guests. _The first shift is always the scariest…these guys have to be protected…_

"I don't need anything." Zell smiled, kissing the tops of his knuckles. "My weapons are right here." His first temporary shift started in an hour and Cid was giving him and Quistis a run-through; it would be him, her and Tifa for the night shift.

"Those fists of yours are not much to brag about, Zell." Tifa raised an eyebrow, chuckling.

"Hey! I told you that I was rusty. I just need more practice."

"Really? So, would you like more meetings with the ground—?"

Before another fake argument could mount, Cid interrupted. "—Look! I don't care. You think you can fight like Tifa out there, be my guest. But don't expect another shot at picking a weapon. You only get one!"

"Yeah, yeah. I've made my choice." Zell responded. Turning, he looked at Quistis. She looked curiously at the wide range of weapons. "…So, what're you going to pick?"

Her blue eyes scanned over each weapon, and he knew she was sizing up each and every one, weighing the pros and cons… _Just like Quistis would have done… _"Well, I've never handled anything like this at the Gates…"

"Well," Aerith put a hand on her shoulder, "if you want, you could be part of the healing crew."

Cid shrugged when Quistis looked over to him, asking silently if that was an option. "Your choice, lady."

Her eyes returned to the selection. She had considered Aerith's offer but something was drawing her to fight. It was odd; she never had this type of inclination. _Usually, I help organize the Tournaments…not fight in them…why is now so different? _Thinking logically, she decided that it was the whole traveling experience that was changing her thoughts.

_Something with a long-range attack will do nicely… _She reasoned; again, she wasn't sure why the swords, the other close-range weapons and shields were immediately pushed aside. _Maybe I don't want to get too close…? Okay, stop over-thinking…Just pick one! They don't have all day to wait for you!_

Closing her eyes for a second, she stuck a pointed finger to the wall. "That one. I want that one." Cid moved quickly, removing the chain whip from its holders. _It seems…right…_

"You sure you know how to use something like this?"

Zell, who had been watching quietly, secretly rejoiced in Quistis' decision. _There's still something inside…she still has something there…_ "Trust me. She knows."

Quistis turned, smiling at him. "Thank you for the vote of confidence, but I've never actually used something like this before…You know that…"

He shrugged, containing his happiness. _She'll get the hang of it really quick, I'll bet…She's still Quistis…memories can't just vanish, can they? …she must have something there…even if it's just that… _"I have faith in you. You'll figure it out."

* * *

By the time they had returned from the tour, the tipi was already set up. Upon their entrance, Yuffie was practically bouncing off the walls while Leon simply sat down on his 'bed.'

"Isn't this place so cool?!" She had to say it out loud; it was killing her. She had never seen a world like this. It reminded her of the Deep Jungle, but there were more people and it was more entertaining. _And all the nature and scenic routes…It's just so beautiful! _It was quite the change from the cold and industrial Hollow Bastion. _Well, it's not like Hollow Bastion isn't awesome…_

Yuffie frowned when she realized that Leon didn't answer her. "Hey! Isn't it?"

Steel eyes locked on, his voice and expression reminding her of his poker face. "It's fine."

_I'm not liking his enthusiasm…_She raised her eyebrow at him. "What's up with you, anyway? The entire tour you were all…" She noticed that his poker face hadn't changed. "…yeah, like that! What's wrong, Leon?"

He sighed. "It seems pointless to be here."

She was expecting more of a 'what-really-happens-when-I-get-my-headaches' response, but that would have surprised her anyway. "W—What?"

"The Heartless aren't even here. Either Sora has to lock the heart of the world to prevent them from coming in the first place or he has to stop Xenmas…whichever comes first. There's no point to us being here now to protect them because there's nothing here."

"Wait! Wait! Woah!" Yuffie moved to his bed, arms waving. "What are you talking about?"

Leon looked up at her, his mind comfortably blank. "We're here to help them. To fight off the Heartless. But they aren't here…so our duty isn't here."

_What…is he talking about? _It took her a few seconds to respond. "You and I both know that that isn't the reason why we're here…Well, at least one of us does." She folded her arms across her chest. "Zell gave us this Gummi Block to try and find the others, you know."

He went on, as if he didn't hear her. He did, of course, but he chose to ignore it. "We shouldn't stay here much longer. Before they suspect something…We need to tell Sora, so that he can lock the heart…"

"What are you talking about, Squall?!" Yuffie exclaimed; she didn't get it. "This isn't a mission for the Heartless! Sure, we can help them if there is an attack, but I thought we were here to keep looking!"

He stood suddenly, making her step back. He kept ignoring her, because it was the only way to keep his headache from coming back. _Separate fact from fiction. Get in. Get the job done. Don't over-think; just aim and fire…_ "I'll go out and do a patrol…then we'll decide what to do…"

—_You're so good at lies, aren't you?_

_Is he even _listening _to me? _"Hey! Wait! Leon!" She stood at the opening of the tipi but could only watch his back get farther and farther away. Yuffie sighed. _What's up with him? We're here to look for his friends and he thinks…he thinks we're here to do a job…_

She took a deep breath. _Maybe he isn't ready to accept _that _yet…Maybe his mind hasn't caught up with the times yet…Ugh! Why are you so stubborn for?! _Deciding quickly, she figured it would be best if she left him alone for a while, as much as she didn't want to. _Seven years believing they were gone…and then, all of this… _She decided to play along until he figured himself out. "LEON! BE BACK IN TIME FOR DINNER, OKAY?!"

Leon followed the same path Pocahontas and Nakoma had shown them, knowing that he would be able to get back to the camp that way. Lionheart swung proudly at his side with every step, ready to be used. His eyes scanned the shadows of trees and any passing animals for the yellow-eyed creatures. His heart pounded and he relished the feeling; this was how he always got when out on patrols. It was familiar and it felt right.

_This is…for their protection…_He kept repeating. _It is nothing more than that…_

—_Whatever you say doesn't change the fact that Zell and Quistis are waiting for you. They aren't going anywhere, you know._

He turned right, remembering the purple rock formation from their tour as a landmark. _There is nothing else to find…_Deep steady breaths and his footsteps were the only other sounds in the forested area. _Keep an eye open for the shadows…_Leaves crunched under his feet as he kept walking, turning left at the next landmark. His eyes continued to scan, ignoring everything else and keeping his mind on track.

—_Good for you, Commander Squall Leonhart…Keep looking for the things you couldn't find the first time around…_

When Leon heard the sound of rushing water and knew that his walk was almost over. The river that appeared after the tree that was shaped like a 'Y' marked the end of the tour. His walk seemed very short compared to the tour…_Yuffie kept asking so many questions, so we had to keep stopping…_He rolled his eyes and continued forward; maybe the walk seemed shorter because he was walking faster. _Whatever…_He kept his pace and finally pulled back the branch that exposed the river to his eyes.

The water was moving fast, splashing against the bank that stood a few feet above it. The land was sloped, and he remembered Pocahontas saying that if he moved back in the direction where he came, he would find that the bank became level with the water and that there would be a canoe there.

At this point in the tour, he remembered, Yuffie asked another question. _"Why?"_

"_Across the river lives another healer…" _Pocahontas had responded. She had told them about Kekata, the healer that lived at their camp. He was the one who tended to most of their wounds and advised the Chief in war matters.

"_Another one?"_

"_Yes…We go to them when our wounds are especially dire." _Nakoma had said. _"We go over on a canoe and stay at the other bank until the healer comes to us. They've been very helpful."_

Yuffie had nodded at this; he could tell at the time, by the look on her face, that she was intrigued by the mystery._ "What's this healer's name?"_

"_We do not know." _Pocahontas had mumbled. Just like she had done half an hour earlier, Leon found himself staring out at the vast river that separated him from the second healer. When Pocahontas had turned back to the group, she had stared at him, gauging his eyes for something. Her stare had been intense and he had blinked first, quickly interrupting Yuffie for the umpteenth time before she could start another barrage of questions.

"_Can we keep going?"_

He knew that he shouldn't be standing in that one spot. It was a wide-open space, no obstructions to shield him or protect him…an easy hit…But Leon couldn't keep his eyes off the water. It should have bothered him that he was an easy target, that he hadn't sought refuge behind a tree or rock, but he couldn't stop looking at the water and at the tiny spot of land a hundred meters away. _The healer…_

His heart suddenly sped up and he could feel the blood pounding his ears. There was a flash, a buzz in his head, and before he could stop it, he saw her. He was sure of it. She was there, with her blue sleeveless jacket flapping in the wind, back to him as always. She began to turn towards him, and his eyes, with every blink, zoomed in to see her face and then zoomed out. _…Wait…Rinoa…_

His headache returned full-force, but he couldn't care less right now. She blipped and fuzzed out, repeating the motion of looking over her shoulder over and over and over again. Finally, he could see her, as if they were in the ballroom, and she was slowly walking towards him. He could hear the sound of her shoes clacking against the polished tiles. And her smile was there, he was sure of it, even if it her face was blurry and underwater.

…_Squall…_

She walked over the water, shoes still clacking, and this should have tipped him off that she wasn't really there but then, she was right in front of him, wearing the champagne-coloured dress that hung gracefully off her curves. By now, his head was splitting because she was right in front of him, but he couldn't look away, even though he was an easy hit.

"_You're th—…here…" _Her lips were moving and he could barely hear her over the rushing waters and the sound of her clacking shoes on the polished tiles. She was right in front of him, smiling shyly, asking him a question, over and over and over again. Her voice changed between different volumes and even though it wasn't helping his headache, he forced himself to hear her. _"Dance with me…?"_

"…Leon?"

At the even louder question, his body jolted and spun, whipping out Lionheart on impulse, slicing through the image of her in his head. He could barely see straight because his headache was back, but he recognized that voice, and the blurred colours. There was a pause, as a startled Pocahontas looked between the bluish blade and Leon's frowning face several times. "L—Leon?"

He snapped out of it, and his body relaxed. Noticing his stance, he looked away from her and brought Lionheart back to his side. His heart was pounding hard and the pressure was back in his head. Whatever relief he had moments earlier was gone. The silence was still there and he mumbled out an apology for startling her.

"No, no…I apologize for startling you…" She smiled a little, her nervousness disappearing. _A warrior, no doubt… _Her and Nakoma had discussed the newcomers extensively after the tour, both of which had their suspicions about Leon being a medicine-man. It made her wonder why a warrior would come if it was just about an illness. It was immediate, his battle response… _Yes…a strong warrior indeed… _

And she smiled a little more because of where she found him. She had seen him leave the tent after hearing Yuffie's declaration of dinner-time and followed him. There was something about him and her and the healer…_There has to be_…And now that she found him here, at the banks, breathing hard and in a trance…She only wished she could have seen his eyes at that moment. "…Are you okay?"

His answer was immediate. "I'm fine."

"…Out for a walk?" She tried again, hoping to coax him into speaking. _There has to be some connection that my dreams keep telling me about…_

He looked up at her for a second before averting his eyes to any spot other than the river. "Yes. I am."

The two of them stood there for a moment, the rushing water being the only sound that he wished he could shut off. Because the sound made him want to look again, but he knew he couldn't because this wasn't about _that _and it never would be because there was nothing else to find. It was only his overactive imagination, that's it.

—_And you can keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better…_

Giving into the pressure, Leon pinched the bridge of his nose, willing it to subside. His head was silent again, so he knew it would go away shortly. But Pocahontas' voice was still too loud.

"Dinner will be served shortly, if you are hungry." She tried again, trying to see something, anything, in his eyes. She hadn't seen anything when they first came by the river, and it was frustrating that she still couldn't see the emotion. _Always thinking, thinking, thinking behind those eyes of yours… _"Will you be joining us?"

He hadn't really thought about food; all he really wanted right now was a place to sleep. To sleep everything off and to finally wake up while the relief was still there. He knew that it wouldn't last…it never did. Leon shrugged at her. "Whatever."

Her dark eyes looked at him in a way he didn't understand. In a flash, it was gone and she had nodded to him, turning back to the camp without another word.

Then, it was only him and the sound of the river he couldn't look at anymore. He took several more deep breaths, forcing his feet to move and forcing his eyes to stay straight ahead. He reminded himself never to come back here. The sound of the rushing water and the clacking of her shoes and the violins and the flutes and the clarinets was making his eardrums pound, keeping the headache alive.

Yes, sleep sounded very good right now.

* * *

The tipi gave them good protection from the winds and the other noises from outside, but Leon still couldn't sleep. Even though his headache had gone away, all he could do was stare quietly at the vertex of their tipi, listening to Yuffie breathe.

_Why…can't I sleep now? _He closed his eyes, rolling onto his side. _I've slept on less comfortable beds…I've slept outdoors before… _He kept avoiding it, but he reasoned that the only difference between his other sleeping places and this one was the river. And them. And her. All of which would not stop running around in his head. He didn't want to dream of them. Not now.

He sat up. This wasn't going anywhere. _Forget this. _Moving as silently as he could, he left Yuffie and exited the tipi, intending to get tired. _She said that the left engine needed fixing…_

The camp at night was just as serene as it was in the daylight. Instead of the sun providing the illumination, tiny fires and the bright blue moon brought the camp to life. He didn't look up at the sky because he knew there would be no stars. He didn't want to be reminded that his world burned out a long time ago.

—_And whose fault is that?_

Enough. Not now. He walked past the fires and the few people who were standing guard without a word. He moved through the trees, back to their crash-landing site. He strode with purpose, not letting them or her get a word in edge-wise. _This is only for work. There is nothing else to find here. I have to get that engine fixed so we can leave and tell Sora about this place…so that way he can fix it._

Leon took a deep breath in when he came to the Gummi Ship. He immediately surveyed the damage and knew what he had to do. _Nothing major, thankfully…_ Although he was in no rush to get back to bed, where they were waiting for him, he moved quickly to get the onboard tool-kit.

Picking up the appropriate tool, he began to work. His mind pushed out everything that didn't have anything to do with the task-at-hand. Because that didn't matter now. Thinking about it now wouldn't do him any good because this wasn't about that. It never was. And it never would be because he had already looked and looked and Yuffie bringing back Zell and Quistis didn't mean anything and_—…Why…can't it all…just go away…?_

While he was rummaging around the tool-kit for the correct bolt size that would bring the engine back where it should be, he stopped. He swore that he heard something; a twig snapping or something. Or maybe it was his mind playing tricks on him because he hadn't been sleeping well over the last couple of days because all he could think about was—

_—Stop it. Enough. You've been through these lapses before…Just. Stop._ Pursing his lips together to bring his mind to a halt, he dropped the bolt back into the tool-kit and turned to the sound of the noise he was sure he heard. He waited, and saw a slight rustle of the leaves. There was silence now, but he sighed aloud and called out anyway. "Come out. I know you're there."

He waited, keeping a blank expression, until Pocahontas moved away from the trees. The moonlight outlined her features and the branches she had been hiding behind. She was staring at him again, with that intense stare…Leon let out a sigh. _Might as well get this over with…_ "You seem quite good at following me around."

She smiled shyly at him and walked forward. He heard her feet crunch the leaves that they stepped on and he heard the echo of her clacking shoes. When he focused back, he realized that she was standing in front of him. "I saw you leave Yuffie again…and…I…I just wanted to see where you were going."

Leon folded his arms over his chest, trying to push out the other sounds. "…Why?"

She shrugged, and when she looked back at him, he saw the moon, and the starless sky, reflected in her dark irises. "You are very interesting to me."

"Interesting?" He repeated, eyebrow raised. He wasn't expecting that adjective.

"Yes…you and Yuffie…and…" Pocahontas made a motion to encompass the machine behind him. "…the giant bird of yours…"

_Giant…? Oh…_ He caught on to her misunderstood analogy. "Yes, well, you and your people are quite interesting as well."

"Thank you."

There was a silence, and Leon turned back to the Gummi Ship. Before he could pick up his tools again, she asked him another question. "…What's wrong with it?"

He took another deep breath, and keeping with her 'giant bird' analogy, he explained. "Its wing is broken."

"I'm sure Kekata can help mend—"

"—It's fine. I can handle it." He gave her one last look before starting to attach the bolt he was going to add before she came. He thought he had given a clear signal for the end of the conversation, but after a few twists, he could still feel her behind him. Turning, his eyes proved his suspicions correct. _She has something to say…_ Sighing again, he gave in. "…Is there anything else?"

"Is it normal for your people to work under the light of the moon? It is not good for your eyes."

"It's fine. I can't sleep. So I might as well be doing something other than staring at the wall."

Pocahontas looked at him with that stare again. "Why hasn't sleep come to you?"

His heart pounded loudly in his chest and he wasn't sure why. _Why…Why is she looking at me like that…?_ Taking a moment to gather himself, Leon responded quickly with a vague answer that he hoped would get her to go away. "My mind doesn't shut off sometimes."

The stare was broken and she smiled again at him. _There! There was something there!_ "Always thinking, thinking, thinking…aren't you, Leon?"

"Yes." He looked away from her and tried to find something else to look at. "Sometimes I wish it would stop. And let me sleep. But I have a lot to think about."

_—Maybe they have that perfect potion…to make it all go away…to make everything fade away…isn't that what you want? To start over? To wake up, finally, after all these years of dreaming foolishly? Of dreaming lies?_

Pocahontas nodded at him. "Kekata can give you something to relax you, if you wish."

"Thank you, but it's alright." He picked up his wrench and turned back to the Gummi Ship's engine. "I can deal with it."

"…Are you sure?"

There was a pause and he closed his eyes. "Yes."

* * *

^^ I liked this chapter! Just want to thank Cheekyte again for busting my writer's block open and getting me back onto my angst-horse. lol

Just wanted to put some 'what's going on at Hollow Bastion' in this chapter…For those of you who haven't played FFVIII, Quistis' weapon in the game are whips. Quite kick-ass.

Anyway,

PLEASE REVIEW


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!): **Thanks guys! Hope you like this one! Sorry for the late delay…. I had to re-find my writing style again…and I think I got it back!

* * *

Against her will, Yuffie could feel her body moving out of the unconsciousness that sleep offered. As much as she tried to return to her sleep, she began to feel the presence of her sheets, the cool night air, and her own breathing. _Ugh… _It wasn't fair; this was the first time she would be allowed to sleep in without having Cid barging into her room to wake her up.

Slowly, she woke up, as if her alarm had went off. _Damn my internal clock… _Getting up at the crack at dawn every day at Hollow Bastion was a routine she would rather break. _Come on, try and sleep some more…You earned it!_

Instead of listening, her eyes cracked open to see a dark tent that was colder than she remembered. _Ugh…dammit… _Yuffie closed her eyes but opened them again after realizing that there wasn't another breathing pattern in the room with her. _H—Hey! Where's…? _

She forced her grogginess away and scanned Squall's bed. It was just as it was when they first came in, with the sheets pulled up and over the pillow. _…where…? _She frowned slightly, realizing that she never actually saw him enter the tent for sleeping in the first place. Dinner at the camp was a feast to celebrate their arrival and it had gone long into the night. He hadn't spoken a word to her, had gotten into one of his 'moods', and she had retired to her bed before he had, without bothering to deal with him.

_Well…wherever he went…_Yuffie thought miserably, eyeing the immaculate sheets, _…I don't care…It's not like he was planning on returning here for the night to talk about things… _She would have rolled her eyes at his lone-wolf behaviour, but she closed them before she could.

When his probable location hit her, her body practically jolted out of the bed. _Oh no! _Yuffie threw the covers off her body and scampered outside, nearly tripping over the tangled sheets. _Oh no! He's fixing the Gummi Ship! Oh no! Oh no! We can't leave yet! We haven't even _done _anything! Dammit, Squall!! _The rest of the camp that was setting up before the rising sun ignored her as she dashed back to her landing site in her pajamas.

She jumped over fallen logs and dodged branches with ease she didn't know she had this early in the morning. _Dammit, Squall! What do you think you're doing?! We haven't even searched for them yet! Don't be so stupid! _Just as her legs were about to fail her, she reached the Gummi Ship and immediately checked for the repairs. _Please don't be fixed yet! Please don't be fixed yet! _She figured that if she said that mantra enough times, it would be true; it worked before.

Breathing hard, Yuffie bent over and put her hands on her knees at the site of the broken engine. She realized that whatever damage she had gotten during the drive over here was worse than they thought. _Oh jeeze…look at all the frayed wires…Ugh! Even the gears are gone! _While he had managed to reattach the engine to the frame, many parts were still missing that were vital for the return flight.

Although fixing the Ship would be a tiresome task at some point, she let out a sigh of relief. _Good…he didn't…he didn't fix all of it…_Finally getting her breathing under control, Yuffie scanned the nearby area for the mechanic. _So, he _was _here… But…where…is he now?_

Rubbing her eyes and forcing her sore legs to work again, Yuffie checked the exterior of the Ship, going all the way around twice. _…No…not here…Not there…Hmph. At least he had the brains in that hard head of his to sleep _inside _the Ship…_She huffed and punched in her code to open the doors, doing a quick check behind her for any of the Powhatans. _There'd be no way I could explain this type of technology to them…_

She yawned as the doors slid shut behind her, viewing the dark interior without interest. Taking in a deep breath, she yelled out to him in a sing-song voice, "HEY! SQUALL! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

She waited for a response, but received none from the entranceway. _Hmm…that's weird…he's never been a heavy sleeper… _Her footsteps echoed in the corridors and in all the empty rooms she checked. "Squall?…Hey, Squall! Wakey-wakey!" A part of her knew that his sleep was being interrupted by something—_something he STILL hasn't told me about—_and any sleep for him was good, but she reasoned that if she had to get up early, then so did he.

_Besides, we have searching to do! _Yuffie frowned, as the next storage room she checked in was empty. _Jeeze! Where is this guy?! _She had already checked the rooms in the sleeping quarters and four of the storage rooms that had enough space to sleep in. _It's like he disappeared into thin air! Come on, Squall! _There weren't many more places to check.

_If I'm gonna find Squall…I'll have to think like Squall…well, minus all the brooding……I shouldn't have bothered looking in the actual sleeping areas, that's too easy… _Yuffie put her hands on her hips, looking around the cockpit. _Hmmm…if he fixed some of the engine…then he must have brought out the tool—oh! I know! _Her feet quickly changed direction without bothering to check the rest of the room. _If this is the Squall _I _know, he had to return the tool-kit back in its original place with every tool checked in and accounted for!_

Yuffie took the stairs down to the maintenance floor two at a time. _Now, where's that stupid room with all the hardware…? Was it the third door…on the left? …No, the second one…_ "…Squall?" She peeked into a few rooms before noticing that the last storage room was slightly ajar. Tip-toeing the rest of the way, Yuffie quietly poked her head inside to verify that the deep breathing she was hearing was indeed Squall's.

It was strange…the toolkit was on the floor, at his feet, not on the shelf, next to the extension cords, and he was sleeping, body sprawled out as if he landed haphazardly on the pink insulation behind him, not in the way she was used to seeing. She stared sadly at him, watching his chest rise and fall. _He must really need the sleep if he hadn't jumped up to meet my yelling… He must have been working on the Ship all night…came back in here for more supplies, when his body finally gave out…_

She looked over his body, slightly confused; typically, when he slept, he was straight, on his back, and he hardly ever moved…His new limb positions seemed misplaced…The frown that usually adorned his face was lost, but in its place were faint lines where wrinkles would soon form. _Oh, for crying out loud! You're twenty-six and you already have wrinkles?! _There was a pang of sadness in her chest that seemed to be growing, overriding her confusion and fake anger. _…Oh Squall…what do you think you're doing…? You can't expect to get better if you keep avoiding the opportunity…_

Yuffie frowned at the peaceful look on his face while he slept. _Why? Why do you do this to yourself? It doesn't do you any good! Do you honestly believe that avoiding everything that has to do with them will make you any better? That it'll keep the pain away? That by just pretending it's not happening makes it better? _She wanted so badly to walk into the room and shake him awake and force him to go outside and to stop frowning so that everyone else can see the face that she was seeing right now. _I can tell you from experience that avoiding them does nothing! It doesn't do anything! And maybe your rational methods and plans to deal are wrong—very wrong—ever think of that…?_

"…you big idiot…" The words left her mouth in a harsh whisper, but the frown finally left her face. _You can't keep doing this to yourself…it's not right…you have a great opportunity here and even if it doesn't work, Zell is still there and he's not mad so you don't have to worry about that anymore… _Tired of watching him, she sighed. She pulled the doorknob towards herself as silently as the hinges would allow, to leave Squall—or Leon—alone to sleep in privacy. Yuffie felt as if she was intruding on something she was not allowed to see… _You can't stay alone forever…when are you going to see that?_

As she left, she turned on some of the lights in the hallway, so that he could see his way out. _All we want is for you to finally be happy…because you're not…and you can't keep lying to us because it's not fair…You don't have a right to be sad anymore…_With a deep sigh, she gave one last look down the staircase she just climbed up before exiting the Ship.

The sky was already lightening to a yellowish-orange when Yuffie locked the door behind her, but her mood didn't match the cheerfulness of the new day. _When is he going to see that we aren't trying to replace _them _…that we just want to help…? That _I'm _trying to help him?_ Walking back to the camp at a much slower speed than she used to get to the Ship, Yuffie was silent. _Squall…You don't have a right to be sad…why are you still pretending…? It's not going to kill you if you talk about it because keeping it in is killing you just the same and you know it!_

Crouching down, to avoid the last low branch, Yuffie returned to the camp to see that everyone was awake and getting ready for the day. _You don't have a right to be sad…it's not fair to the rest of us…You don't have the right to lie to yourself…_

"Yuffie!" Pocahontas smiled and waved over, seeing the familiar woman at the edge of the clearing. _She's…already up…? If she…came from there…then she must have went to see Leon at the giant bird… _"Good morning, Yuffie!"

The petite ninja looked in the direction of the voice to see Pocahontas, with what appeared to be breakfast, and Nakoma. She waved back, but was fully intent on going back to her tipi and sleeping some more. "Hey! Come have some breakfast!" The native woman held up a plate piled with fruits, nuts and fish. "We got a plate ready for you!"

_I don't understand…Why doesn't he want to get better? Or at least over it? Why doesn't he want to wake up and realize that no one's chasing him…? _Yuffie made her way down to where they were sitting and sat on the log next to Pocahontas quietly, not making any eye contact. "Uh, thanks…"

Throwing a couple of berries into her mouth, Nakoma raised an eyebrow, looking back and forth between the tipi and Yuffie. "Where's that statue of yours?"

"Nakoma! Don't talk with your mouth full!" Pocahontas chided, turning towards Yuffie to miss her friend sticking out her tongue. _The statue you speak of is thinking too much about too many things…_"Did you sleep well, Yuffie?"

She nodded, staring down at her plate, not really listening. She was too caught up in her thoughts to notice Pocahontas' concerned eyes. _Leon…Squall…maybe he doesn't want to get better…maybe he wants to stay that way until he dies so that he doesn't feel anything anymore and he won't betray them by feeling happy because he still thinks he doesn't deserve to be happy…Maybe……maybe Tifa was right… _"Yeah…I slept fine…"

"Now that my mouth is empty, where's Leon?" Nakoma asked again, missing the sad tone in the white woman's voice.

"I don't know." Yuffie lied, in between bites of a ripe strawberry. _…maybe he doesn't want any of this anymore…maybe he wants to die on the inside so he'll never feel that loneliness again…and maybe…all of this was just a big stupid mistake…_

Pocahontas looked at Yuffie, seeing a side she never expected to come from the woman, but knowing full well that she was lying about not knowing her companion's whereabouts_…Leon went to fix the bird…and she was coming from that direction…She must have seen him…and maybe they exchanged some hurtful words…? _"Yuffie?"

_…A big, stupid mistake made by a little, stupid girl who…who still believes in fairytales and happy endings…_ She stood up suddenly, making the plate thump to the ground and the food scatter on the grass. _…who believes that everyone deserves to be happy…maybe…maybe_ my _methods of dealing are wrong…what would I know, anyway? I'm just little, naïve Yuffie who can't get her head on straight…_ Her lips were pursed together as the native women asked her what was wrong. "I'm not hungry."

She turned stiffly and walked back to her tipi, furiously wiping the tears out from her eyes. _If Squall doesn't want any of this, who am I to get in his head…? I'm just the little annoying ninja that can't keep her nose of out other people's business…who doesn't know when to stop trying to fix things…And if…and if he doesn't want anything from me, if he wants to be miserable, then I shouldn't bother!_

Yuffie threw back the door flap and dropped onto her bed. _…what's wrong with him? What's wrong with me? He obviously couldn't care less about me, so why do I care so much about him…? Dammit, Squall! _Her heart started to hurt; she never thought like this…She was his friend and he was hers, wasn't he? _…But wouldn't he have been a bit more thankful…? Then again, if he doesn't want it…if he doesn't care about Zell or Quistis or Rinoa or Selphie or Irvine anymore because he feels that he doesn't deserve them…_

She was about to throw the covers over her head to try and sleep her negative thoughts away when she heard something from outside. "…Yuffie…?" The tipi flap was pulled open slightly by a dark hand. "…Can I…Can I come in?"

All she really wanted was to sleep and hopefully, wake up feeling like normal. _Stupid Squall…look what you do to my personality… _She didn't sit up, but answered to her visitor with a miserable tone. "Yeah…sure…"

Pocahontas entered the tipi slowly, in case Yuffie decided to change her mind. _Perhaps it is the white woman who carries the great sadness … _Upon their first meeting, she never would have guessed it. _Maybe it is Leon who makes her so sad……maybe the healer is connected to her as well… _"Are you okay…?"

Yuffie grumbled and threw the covers over her head. "I'm fine. Just cranky."

The native woman smiled at her and tried to lighten her mood. "It's just that…I've never seen you pass up food before…Last night, at dinner, you seemed quite content at finishing your entire plate…and Leon's…"

Pocahontas heard another grumble. "Yeah…well, now my stomach hurts…"

She moved over to the bed and sat down, disrupting Yuffie's stretched out position. "I may not have known you for long...but I believe that this is unusual behaviour for you. And you may not believe me, but you are not a good liar."

That got her to look over the sheets and frown at the native. "Hey! I happen to be a very good liar! I'm a nin—!" Yuffie's declaration of her heritage was cut short as she realized that it would undo the lie that Leon had told the Chief and the entire camp. "—I mean…I…Oh, never mind. Whatever." The covers were back over her head again. "I'm still cranky."

Pocahontas sighed and pulled the covers away from her friend's face. "Yuffie. I saw you walking...You met with Leon this morning, didn't you?"

_Hey! How'd she…? _Yuffie knew that her startled expression already gave her away so she admitted it to the perceptive native. _No point in denying it now…besides, I can't lie to her anyway…_ "…Yeah. I did."

"…Did he say something hurtful to you?"

"No. Nothing, actually." It was true. Nothing was said; she was just angry with him because of the way he was handling the situation because _clearly _he was handling it wrong. "He was sleeping."

There was a brief moment of relief on Pocahontas' face. "Oh. That's good. So he finally got some rest then."

_Wait…How'd she know about his sleeping problem…? _Yuffie gave Pocahontas a suspicious glance. "What do you mean 'finally'? …Hey! Did you talk to him last night? Did you?!" Suddenly, she was sitting up in bed, looking at her expectantly. _He won't talk to me…but he'll talk to a stranger…? Oh, whatever, I'll take what I can get!_

Pocahontas blinked at her eager movements. _This is the Yuffie I would rather see._ "Yes. I did talk to him."

There was a pause. "Well, what did he say?!"

"…You…You care for him, don't you?" _Or maybe...when Leon is sad, Yuffie becomes sad as well... _Pocahontas' mind continued. _Is he sad because he came here? Or has he been sad for a while?_

Although slightly taken back by her question, Yuffie answered quickly. "Yes! Of course I do! It's just that he never talks to me! So please! What did he say? I'm dying over here!"

The native woman looked over sadly, remembering the look in Leon's eyes when he had told her. _His soul opened for that instant…with a thousand tears unshed…_ "He said that he thinks too much. His mind keeps working even when his body wants to sleep…"

Yuffie was expecting more of a revelation and she let out a sigh, folding her arms across her chest. "Well, that's not the understatement of the year…I already knew that…That's all he does…and he wonders why he gets sick!"

"Has he…" Pocahontas began again, trying to make some sense of the events and her dreams. "…has he always been this way? This sad?"

The petite ninja gave her a weak smile. _You have no idea..._ "Kind of. Yeah."

"Yuffie…I…" A dark hand touched her shoulder and their dark eyes locked. There was another pause as Pocahontas struggled with her words. _This is so far-fetched…but I know that there has to be something between them! _"…I think that Leon should go see the healer from across the river…"

Yuffie looked at her, unsure of her suggestion. "You think Leon's brain can be fixed by some healer? I think it would take a miracle!"

"The healer sometimes works miracles…but, no…it's not just that…" When the words came to her, she spoke hurriedly and quietly. No one really knew much about the healer, and speaking of it was frowned upon. Their lack of knowledge of its power made them all very cautious not to arouse disfavour with the person from across the banks. _Here it goes..._ "…There's something about Leon…and the healer……I saw him at the banks, staring out…in a daze…as if something had a hold on him…And I know that there is always a presence of powerful magic there because that healer is very powerful but I've never seen anyone act the way he did…"

_A…A daze? _Yuffie thoughts flashed over to their time on the drive. _He was…He was…It was like he was possessed… _She blinked several times, trying to remove the look on his face at that moment from her eyelids. "P—Pocahontas! Was it…Was it like he was possessed or something when he was at the banks…?" She kept her voice hushed as well, not wanting anyone—especially not Squall—to hear.

"I…Yes, it appeared so…and he was very nervous when I called out to him by his name…He looked so disappointed…It was all just…so strange…"

_That healer…A powerful healer…_Her mind scrambled to make a connection. _Are they the one who's been screwing with his sleep? But why…?_ "Pocahontas, I need you to—" Yuffie's idea was cut off by some outside commotion. Both women turned their heads to the door flap, stopping for an instant from surprise, before exiting the tipi at the sound of several screams.

Yuffie's eyes widened at the scene, rushing back into the tipi for her shuriken. _Oh shit, shit, shit! _Gripping it tightly in her hand and gathering all the Fira spells she could carry, she rushed back out to see the shadows coming to life and wrecking havoc on the camp.

"What…What is this…?" Pocahontas looked from the camp to Yuffie several times. "Yuffie! What's going on?!" Her people were scattered, some of the warriors already fighting and others gathering their belongings to quickly relocate. "Is this the disease you speak of?!"

Her mind had already switched gears. "Pocahontas, I need to you to get as much fire as you possibly can! Tell everyone to throw fire at them!" She had to yell over the other sounds, sounds she supposed she should be used to by now. "Come on! You have to move!"

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_SQUALL!_

Leon jolted awake, brought out of a dreamless sleep by the imagined sound of her voice. Her scream. He sat up slowly, not wanting the blood to rush to his head, and rubbed the stiffness out of back of his neck. All the while, he tried not to focus on why she would be screaming. Even though he had no dream of it, he knew why: because her hand was outstretched, tears falling down her cheeks, as she got sucked into the darkened sky—

—_Enough. Stop. _A deep breath later and his body calmed down again. Leon swung his legs over the edge of the insulation bags, trying to get his spine to pop back into place. _Never again will I use this room to sleep in… _Finally satisfied, he stood, and quickly put the toolkit back on the shelf next to the extension cords.

He blinked a few times as he exited the room. _Why…are the lights on…? _He was certain that he hadn't opened them; he had walked down the stairs into the correct room in the dark, knowing from memory where to go. Or maybe he had opened them and he just didn't remember…He was having a hard time trusting his memory, nowadays, wasn't he?

Leon shook his head and climbed up the stairs, turning the lights off as he left. _Whatever. I just hope I didn't burn out the back-up generators too much… _He sighed aloud, remembering all the work he would have to do to fix the engine that night as he neared the exit of the Gummi Ship. _I'm going to have to replace those wires…and hook them up again…Not to mention finding the substitutes for the gears that got blown off… _

The Gummi Ship door opened and closed behind him with a hiss and immediately, his mind stopped, just like it had when they had first arrived. But, even though the sun was shining and the sky was a beautiful blue, there was something wrong. There was something wrong with this familiar picture that made him grip the handle of Lionheart tightly. Leon's heart sped up when he heard it, when he finally focused in and heard it. He felt it too, that familiar sense of dread… _Oh Hyne…_

He ran back to the camp, unsheathing Lionheart as he did so. _The Heartless…They're here…They've found this world…_He was certain of this, he could feel it, and the screams he heard as he neared the camp confirmed it. In his absence, his distraction, the Heartless had descended. _Please…Don't let me be too late…_

_SQUALL!_

Leon pushed past the last branch to see the Powhatans launching their own form of attack, trying to push the unwanted intruders back to wherever they came from. Arrows and spears and rocks were being flung, daggers slicing, hitting square on, but inflicting no damage. His eyes darted back and forth between different battlefronts before picking the one that needed his help more. _No, no, no, no…_

With Lionheart swinging, he whipped through the crowd of Powhatans that were outnumbered and sliced through the Heartless easily with a simple arc motion. The natives looked back and forth between the enemy they could barely swat away and the scarred man who took them out with one swing.

Leon looked back at them, twenty pairs of eyes all equally scared, before barking out an order, just like he was trained to do, just like he remembered. That was all he had left, wasn't it? "Get fire! Attach fire to your weapons!" He waited, but got no movement from them. "GO! Now, dammit!"

He raced forward, as the Powhatans ran back to start sparks. He didn't care how they did it, as long as it got done. The shadows moved around him and he waited for the Heartless to take on their miserable form. _Come on…Try me… _His feet moved quickly, Lionheart swinging effortlessly, as he took down many more. The blue blade flashed and cut and he barely realized that it was happening. It was automatic, this response, he could do it without thinking. A simple, precise routine…He was good at these.

They were coming out from everywhere; the trees, the ground, the huts and tipis…some bigger, but mostly just Shadow Heartless…Their form didn't matter to him, as long as they disappeared…as long as they faded away. He didn't even recognize his own voice when he shouted out a Fira spell…everything sounded miles and miles away. Not even the screams and shouts of the natives reached him here.

All that mattered was that Lionheart kept swinging. And that he kept his eyes on the dangerous black creatures.

He kept moving foward, but the tiny yellow eyes began to surround him, their numbers aggregating towards him. He hadn't realized it happened until he felt the temperature around him drop. He hadn't realized how far he had strayed from the camp and how many shadows now encircled him. _Hyne… _He tried to focus and get back to his routine, because he had gotten into worse messes before; all he needed to do was to stop hesitating and stop being scared because someone told him once that fear gets you killed.

_SQAULL!_

His heart pounded hard in his chest as he tried desperately to stay focused, but the time and place of those words kept clawing at his mind because he couldn't remember and that's when he felt it again. When there was a slash on his arm. A cold, sharp sting as one of the Heartless attacked him and finally, finally his mind stopped. Everything stopped. He blinked slowly, watching the dark arm retreat to leave a trail of numbness behind on his bicep, watching his entire vision melt away.

Real sound did not return to him, but it didn't matter, not in the place he was. There was no static, no ringing in his ears…just the echoing sound of her clacking shoes, the crushing waves, the violins and flutes and clarinets that now sounded too off-tune and whiny and sharp for his taste…He could see the Grand Hall again, covered in darkness, with all of them there, fighting, trying to get rid of the yellow-eyed creatures.

His heart slowed, he could feel each pump push the blood to his brain, but he still couldn't snap out of it. The Grand Hall was rushing past him, the landscape melting together, moving faster and faster to the rushing river and he could see her approaching because she was still standing in the green and the yellow and the pink and the purple and the black and the white of him.

But he knew it wasn't real. This wasn't good. He shouldn't be thinking of this, not now, because it never was about _that _to begin with. It had always been about the fight, the protection, his duty and that's where he was right then, wasn't he? His mind was just playing tricks on him because he hadn't been sleeping well over the last couple of days. This wasn't good. This wasn't supposed to happen. Or maybe he was still sleeping and everything here was just an elaborate dream...This wasn't good. Fear paralyzes a warrior…And eventually, he'd just fade away into the green and yellow and brown background. But this wasn't supposed to happen—

—_SQUALL!_

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WOW. Hope you all liked this one. Thanks again to Cheekyte for being my editor/mentor/muse. Next chapter, find out what happens to our poor, depressed Squall and FINALLY, the climax of the story is coming!!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYONE! (for whatever you celebrate)

And, PLEASE REVIEW!


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!): **Thanks guys! Your comments make me happy! They're the extra presents underneath my Christmas tree!

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Yuffie had to hand it to the Powhatans; they sure knew how to mobilize quickly. Pocahontas had rushed over to her people, quickly explaining the instructions that she was given. In no time, they had gotten their own plan. They wrapped all their spears and arrows in linen cloths that were drenched in the alcohol that the previous white men had traded with them.

With some flames from the main fire-pit, the arrows and spears were lit, and they all watched the yellow-eyed creatures dissipate when their accuracy hit. It was a relief to them that the fire did not spread to the ground after the creature disappeared; Mother Earth was very important to them. With this in mind, they had to make sure they hit them the first time.

"Yeah! That's it! There can't be many more now!" Yuffie shouted, encouraging them, grabbing onto her shuriken as it whisked back to her. _Good stuff, Pocahontas! _Her eyes darted around the camp, watching more and more Powhatans catch on and unleash their own fire. Although other magic did the same, fire was an easier one to obtain and explain for them. _Good! Good! They're almost gone! _On her scan of the camp, she saw that there were people who were hurt, clutching their arms or abdomen, so she made quick use of her Cura spells.

Multitasking was tiring her out, mentally and physically; she healed as many people as she could before being waved over for battle aid. Every one of the natives she cured looked frightened as their wounds magically vanished under the greenish glow of her hands. "W—What…?"

"No time to explain! Just get fire!!" Yuffie's mouth and feet moved quickly as she tried to get to the next group who seemed to be a bit overwhelmed. "Outta the way!" She called out, throwing her weapon at the first row of Shadow Heartless. "FIRA!"

Through the whirlwind of people and darkness and screams and arrows and commotion, she felt lightheaded. She was breathing hard, but this wasn't something she couldn't handle. She'd done the job of a healer and warrior solo before…As her eyes kept looking for people who needed aid, at the back of her mind, there was another pressing issue. _…where is he?!_

"YUFFIE!" She was surprised she even heard her name being called with all the noises. Turning around, she saw that it was Nakoma who had yelled it. She had her hand outstretched and pointed in the direction of a large cluster of Heartless. _That has to be the last of them! _Yuffie waved Nakoma over, gesturing her to follow, to have her back.

Both women raced over, being joined by Pocahontas and a few more warriors, arrows and spears lit and ready. While Yuffie ran ahead, into the thick of it, the Powhatans stayed a few feet back, slinging their arrows for the best long-range attack.

Yuffie's shuriken sliced easily, her strength no match for the Shadow Heartless. "Come on! You'll have to do better than that!!" She jumped over them, spun around them, taking them out, slowly and surely. "FIRA!"

Making sure the arrows from her allies didn't hit her, she moved forward, getting farther away from the camp. _Don't worry…they know what to do now…Keep going! _The shadows were getting smaller, most of the Heartless being wiped out. As she neared the last group of them, she saw something else that made her stop. Her eyes widened and it felt like time slowed, but her survival instinct kept her feet moving after the shock. _Oh my gosh!_

The blue blade of Lionheart gave him away, even though his lower half was almost completely black. _No! _"_SQUALL!_" Yuffie cried out to his immobile form. _Why…isn't he…? _Throwing a few more spells around, she got closer to Squall, heart in a panic. _Move, you idiot! _There were Shadow Heartless all around him, striking at his arms and legs and torso. But he wasn't moving to defend himself; his head stayed in one place, his eyes focused on the ground and millions of miles away at the same time…_Not again…Please! Snap out of it!_

"FIRAGA!" Yuffie shouted, using her most powerful fire magic and unleashing it on the Heartless who were too close to him. "BACK OFF!" Another mighty swing of her shuriken and another dozen Heartless disappeared. The fire danced around him, and she just hoped she didn't burn his skin.

_SQUALL!_

…_what…? _When his nose inhaled the smoke, the Grand Hall came rushing back, and he remembered that he smelt fire when Irvine had shot Fire Ammo at an approaching dark creature. _…where…? _He saw a blurred hat, a spot of beige, a splash of yellow and blue and burgundy and suddenly all the darkness drained out from his vision. The Grand Hall was still rushing past him, spinning around, but he could see blinking lights and hear sweet music. He felt his breath escape him when he saw her coming towards him, her shoes clacking on the grass, almost overpowering the sounds of battle behind him.

Her face was blurred and spotty and slowly melting away. Her voice was skipping and he could barely hear her anymore because even her voice was slowly fading. _"You're th—…here… Dance with me…?" _Just as the last pieces of her pale skin dripped off, the sweet music was replaced by the sound of the rushing waters and by shouts and screams.

Leon's eyes snapped open, head throbbing, and a sharp intake of breath made him cough up all the smoke. The picture of the camp rushed back and he found himself staring at a pair of yellow eyes that were too close. _…what…? No, wait! Stop! Come back! _The music was there, and he focused on it, trying to get back, because he wanted to ask her why this was still happening. Because it wasn't supposed to happen like this anymore. He was fine. He was over it. But he had to know why she kept coming back like this. Why they all decided to come back. _…Please! Wait! Answer me!_

At the corner of her eyes, she saw his eyes dart back and forth, unsure of what to do and what was happening. "Come on, Squall! MOVE!" When her order was given, the clarinets and the flutes and the violins stopped, the picture was clear, his headache ebbed away and his fingers gripped Lionheart's handle tightly. At the order, his mind clicked back into his duty and although he couldn't feel most of his body, he completed a smooth arc motion to wipe out another six Heartless.

_Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! _Yuffie would have let out a sigh of relief if she wasn't busy waiting on her shuriken to whisk back to her. _He's moving again! _Arrows and spears landed in front of her, taking out her next intended targets, as the number of Heartless dwindled. "We're almost there! Get them all!"

Leon was breathing heavy, his mind painfully blank. _Why…? Why…?!_ His muscles twitched as he kept fighting, striking down another three Heartless in one swing. _I want to know why…Why do they keep coming back?! Dammit, Hyne, tell me! _With a loud cry, the last dozen shadows in front of him vanished beneath the strength of his blade. _Have I not suffered enough?! _A blaze of angry fire left his palm, striking any that survived.

There was a sudden quiet as the smoke cleared. The temperature had returned to normal, the last of the arrows being fired and in the background, he heard cheering. _Why…do they haunt me like this…? _His limbs made numb by the Heartless attacks finally collapsed from under him and Leon fell to the ground. He expected to hear the music again, the rushing waters, her shoes, _anything_, because he wanted to know what he did to make it this way. _Wait… _He was just so tired. Tired of everything…and if the only way to sleep was to see them, then so be it.

"Squall!" Leon's eyes opened slowly, seeing Yuffie's bare feet and pajama bottoms approach him, instead of her clacking shoes. She knelt down next to him and tried to help him up. His eyes wandered to see Pocahontas' and Nakoma's forms coming towards him as well.

"I'm fine." He wheezed out, trying to move on his own, his anger leaving his thoughts. _…There's no point in that anymore…There's no point in anything anymore…_ He looked at Yuffie and whispered his next line. "Nothing a Cura can't fix…"

"Nonsense, you crazy idiot." Nakoma, responding to his louder comment, grabbed onto his unaffected arm with a strong grip. "You call being hit by those things that many times 'fine'? My hand is numb from one of their pokes…Come on, we're getting Kekata." She pulled up, but barely lifted the heavier man an inch off the ground. "Guys, little help?"

"No. I'm fine." He persisted, moving up into a kneeling position. The cold touch of the Heartless lingered and he found that he could no longer move his legs or his right arm. _Dammit…how long was I like that…?_

Yuffie went in his face; now that he was kneeling, she was able to look down at him. _You idiot…You stubborn, stupid idiot! _"Look! You. Are. Not. Fine. So don't feed me that! You're seeing Kekata and that's an order!!" She ended with a finger pointed at his chest. "I saw you! You're legs are almost useless, okay? So don't be stupid!"

His frown was matched by hers. _Yuffie…Why didn't you just cure me, then? _Logic came back to him and he realized that she probably didn't want to cause a scene. _…everyone saw me get hit…Even if she healed me and no one saw the green light, they would be suspicious anyway with my lack of wounds…_Lips pursed together, he accepted his predicament and finally conceded. "Fine."

Her frown was gone, and Yuffie was all smiles again. "Perfect! I'm glad you finally agree! Now, let's get you cleaned up! Come on!" With Nakoma and another male warrior on one side and Pocahontas and herself on his other, they helped Leon walk slowly back to camp.

"Nakoma, is your hand okay?" Yuffie asked as they walked, trying to make a mental note of all the injuries she would need to fix up. _…Ugh…how are we going to lie our way out of this one…? _

The native women nodded, pulling her fingers into a fist. "It's fine…just numb…I'm sure Kekata can fix it."

_Unless he has Cura magic, I highly doubt that… _Yuffie nodded at her. "Don't forget that we're medicine people too! We got lots of stuff! Let me check it out for you, okay?" She didn't want to disrespect Kekata's apparent high standing in the tribe, but she knew he wouldn't have a clue. _The Heartless' attacks can't be cured by their conventional means…_

Upon their arrival back to the camp, the natives gasped in surprise. "Our camp!" Pocahontas shouted. Although there wasn't much physical damage, many people were waiting in line for Kekata's aid. Little fires were quickly being extinguished and tipis were being put back up in their original position. Children were crying and even the animals seemed scared to get close. _Our home…What did those creatures do…? That darkness…Is this the great sadness…that the newcomers brought?_

"Come on. Let's get in line…" Nakoma changed her position underneath Leon's arm before starting the march again. "We can worry about our houses later…"

The four of them slowly lowered him onto the ground. The male who had been helping, a warrior named Namontack, politely excused himself from the group to go help out some others. The other three sat down next to Leon, with Nakoma on his left, Yuffie on his right and Pocahontas next to her to wait.

"I don't get why you are still so angry…" Nakoma commented to make conversation with the still frowning Leon. "Kekata is a great healer, you know."

Steel eyes looked her way. _He won't be able to heal you or me or anyone else…Such blind faith…_ "Whatever."

"Ah, don't worry about him. He's just being a baby because this is the first time he's gotten hurt in a while…" Yuffie waved a hand around. "Usually, it's him who does all the healing…Like this one time, when I broke my wrist, he—"

"—Yuffie, enough. My head hurts." He interrupted, not wanting to hear another one of her long-winded stories. _Now's not the time…You need to get to our bags and get our potions…_

Pocahontas leaned forward, catching Leon's eye. _That look…he was in another daze…_ "Thinking too much, Leon?"

There was a second when he paused again, seeing that dark stare. _Why does she keep looking at me like that?_ "Yes."

"Huh. I guess it's true that thinking gives you wrinkles…" Nakoma laughed, pointing to the skin of his forehead, remembering the joke from another friend of hers. _What an extreme case… _Her laughter died when an elderly man with long, white hair came to their side.

"My children…" The man spoke softly. "What ails you?"

Nakoma held up her hand. "It's numb and cold, Kekata." Turning her head to indicate Leon, she continued, "And he's nearly paralyzed because his legs are numb…Oh! And he has a headache too…"

Kekata sighed, bowing his head. _They all complain of the same thing…The devil's touch…_ "Those dark creatures…something I have never seen before…"

Before Nakoma could ask Kekata a question, the silence was broken by a familiar deep voice. "Pocahontas! My daughter!" All heads turned to see the Chief coming up towards them. Pocahontas quickly stood to embrace him. "I was worried…I lost sight of you…"

"It is alright father. I'm not hurt. Nakoma and Leon are the injured ones…"

Pulling away, Chief Wahunsenacawh looked down at the other three still seated on the grass and then back up to Kekata. "They all have the same symptoms, don't they?"

"Yes." The healer nodded.

"Any idea how to heal them? …Before the next attack?"

"Father! Don't speak like that!" Pocahontas turned to him quickly. She didn't want to think about a next time. Even though they had won, what if the next time they wouldn't be so lucky? _What if next time our people will actually fall? Is that what my dreams foretell? Is that the sadness?_

Swallowing thickly, the Chief noticed that Kekata hadn't answered him. "Kekata…?"

"Forgive me, but I'll need some time. I've never seen wounds like this before…Perhaps I should consult the Healer From Across the River…"

Before a discussion could break out, Leon interrupted. "We have the medicine you need, Chief Wahunsenacawh." He stated with little emotion in his tone, not making eye contact. _Cura spells will get everyone better quickly…Might as well get this over with…_

There was another pause as the Chief looked down and frowned at the scarred man. _They have the medicine already…? That means…_ "…You mean that…those…those despicable things are the disease you've been sent here to warn us about…?"

_Good. He picked up on that by himself… _Leon glanced at him, before looking at the ground again. "Yuffie, go get our bags in the tipi."

The atmosphere was tense when Yuffie stood. _Oh…that's his poker-face…_ "Uh, yeah. Right! Hey, Pocahontas, come with me, okay? The bags are heavy!" With her native friend following, the two took off. _Squall…what did you see this time…?_

"Wait a minute, wait a minute!" Nakoma blinked, fear rising. "You're saying that I have this illness? That by touch, we _all _have this illness?"

"Nakoma, stay calm. Don't worry…They have the medicine to make us better…" Chief Wahunsenacawh gave a suspicious glance at Leon. He frowned. _How convenient… When they arrive, the illness comes…How convenient that they can act as the heroes…_ The scarred man's eyes met his with an irritated stare.

"What is it, Chief Wahunsenacawh? Have you forgotten that I am infectedas well?" Leon kept his eyebrows knit together and the annoyance in his tone, knowing exactly what was running through the Chief's head. _He doesn't trust us…He still believes that we have brought the illness with us when it could have happened at any time…The Heartless have no schedule, no order…no purpose…other than to take things that don't belong to them… _

Another silence followed before Kekata and the Chief walked stiffly to the next group of injured people to ask the same questions. Nakoma watched them as they left before turning to Leon and punching him lightly on his good arm. "Treat the Chief with some respect, Leon. No more attitude from you."

Using his good arm to readjust himself into a more comfortable position on the grass, Leon kept his eyes away and ignored her comment. All he could do now was wait for Yuffie to get back so that she could heal him and they could get started preparing the camp for the next outbreak. _Another attack is inevitable…They're going to want to get the Heart of this World because they haven't found it yet. Chief Wahunsenacawh should comply…He may not trust our motives, but we're the best he's got right now. _

He looked up, seeing Yuffie and Pocahontas returning with their arms full, carrying the heavy bags. _I can't tell him the real reason…it's not like it would make a difference anyway…_ _They are still the enemy, and therefore, they need to be stopped._

* * *

One minute, he was surrounded by yellow eyes and black bodies, a raging storm, a black Garden, and magic only he remembered…and the next, he was staring at the plain white ceiling, breathing hard. Zell took in a deep breath to calm his body down after the sort-of nightmare. His fingers slowly released the sheets that they had been gripping and his heart got back to its normal pulse. _Jeeze… _It wasn't often that he dreamed of that last day; usually, when he wanted to see them again, his brain would take him to better times. _…maybe because…I fought them today…_

…_or maybe because Squall's Room is affecting my brain like that…_He didn't know why, but sleeping soundly in Squall's Room was just too creepy for him. Zell knew that he had to sleep because he had a shift the following morning, but the Room was just creepy. And it didn't help that the Room got his mind going back to the last day. He turned onto his side, trying another position that could possibly get him to sleep in the cold, faceless Room. _Damn…would it kill him to be more fun?_

It wasn't long before Zell kicked the sheets off his body. _Ah! It's just too weird! _He sat up in his cot and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. They had told him just to sleep in Squall's bed, never mind the cot, but he politely refused. _That probably would have made it worse… _

Standing up, he stretched. _Maybe I'll go for a walk…Tire myself out…_The lights outside of the Room were dim, but provided enough illumination for Zell to get around. _Hmm. Once around the perimeter should do it. _With his hands in his pockets, he stepped as quietly as he could down the hallway, keeping a tune in his head to keep him company.

He passed by Quistis' and Aerith's room with a small smile. He was right; Quistis remembered how to use a whip…it was almost automatic. It made his heart float because now he knew that there was still something inside. _She may not understand it…but I do…Memories don't just fade away like that……And maybe…when that Sora kid gets the job done, she won't have to pretend anymore…_

Tifa and Cid had explained to him exactly what was going on, everything Yuffie had said and more: Sora, Xenmas, the Heartless…Since Quistis didn't remember anything about her past, talks about restoring the Worlds back to their original place would be wasted—not to mention going against some code they made with some King. As far as she was concerned, Hollow Bastion was just across the waters from Olympia. _I'll just have to make sure that we leave when she's sleeping again…so she won't get freaked out when we're flying through space…_

Before he knew it, he was near the Control Room. _So many times…I looked up at the sky at night to see nothing but darkness…and now I know why…Our world…that tiny piece of the Universe…was a falling star… _Blue eyes scanned over the panel that waited for his code. He hadn't planned on going in, but a little conversation probably wouldn't hurt the night crew. _Lazy Cid…just gave me Squall's code instead of letting me choose my own…'It would overload the computer system' my ass…_He rolled his eyes at the excuse Cid had given him before punching in the numbers. _…4-2-7-3-3-6…Real original, Commander…_

The doors swished open to reveal a flickering fluorescent tube light, twenty blue monitors and Tifa with her legs on the table, reading a magazine. Zell made sure that his entrance was obvious; he didn't want to scare the daylights out of her. "Hey Tifa."

"Oh! Hey Zell…" Tifa looked up when she heard him. "What're you doing up?"

"Squall's Room is really creepy. I just thought I would try and tire myself out before trying to go back to sleep again…" He shrugged, before taking a seat across from her at the table. She laughed at his comment. _Good. She's in a good mood._

"I would spar with you until I knocked you out, but I'm on duty now." She smiled at him, before going back to her magazine.

"Ha ha, funny." He smirked. "That was one time, alright? And I told you—"

"—I know, I know, you're rusty." Tifa turned the page, not really interested in what she was reading. _There's never anything good to read around here… _She dropped the magazine to the table and shrugged at him, trying to keep casual. "So, how was your first shift out?"

There was a little hesitation, but he was fast. _No, don't ruin her good mood…_"It was good. Did a lot of damage to them…those little buggers are freaky, eh?" Zell cracked his knuckles out of habit. "I'm glad I got some use out of these fists. A little bit of pay-back…Vindication, if you will…Phil hardly puts me in Tournaments anymore…And he won't let me use the Heartless we capture for the Tournaments as my own personal punching bags…"

"You guys capture the Heartless? Like, actually contain them?" Tifa asked, surprised.

He nodded. "We kinda round them up when they appear in the city with some Stop magic and prayer symbols…Phil told me once; they get their favour from some Goddess…Athena, maybe? Ah, I don't know, but we manage to get them into the Coliseum until the time comes…"

"And then we get to hurt them, right?" She smirked. She had always wondered how they got the Heartless in there. _Every World has their own way of dealing, I guess…Olympia uses them for sport…_

He looked away from her smile. _No amount of punching or magic can hurt them the way they hurt us…_He didn't want it to happen, but he felt the anguish of his sort-of nightmare take hold of him. _And some of us, cursed or blessed, don't even know it…_He could see the Grand Hall again and the yellow eyes and the storm on the floor and it took everything inside him not to hear the screams and shouts.

It was then that Tifa saw a sad tinge in his blue eyes. Her feet slid off the table and she sat up straight. "Zell…?"

"Yeah?"

"What's…What's wrong?" Tifa felt her mouth go dry. _Why am I getting so nervous? _She had seen a look like that before. That broken, defeated look that Yuffie and Cid gave her on occasion. But she never would have pictured it on him, of all people. Breathing deeply, she continued. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Fine." He answered quickly, trying not to think about the sort-of nightmare too much. _It was a long time ago…And there's nothing you can do about it now…_

She swallowed. "Zell…?" Her lips pursed together. _What did I say that got him so—? Oh! _Tifa nearly gasped aloud at her epiphany and her denseness for not picking up on it sooner. _He deals with the Heartless, every day, as his job…and he remembers all of it… _Her voice came out so quiet, she barely heard it herself. "…You remember _that_ day when you work, don't you…?"

A serious gaze fell on her, answering her question just as she finished it. "…All the time. Every time I see those _things_…I remember...And I can't help it."

Tifa looked at him sadly. _He remembers everything…every little thing…What…What could be worse…? _"…Why don't you just kill them yourself?"

"I would…But I can't. I don't have the magic to completely boost my power to what it used to be…I'm not as strong as I used to be…I'm rusty, remember…?" Zell trailed off. _I lost Shiva and Quezacotl and the Brothers years ago…and I know that they aren't coming back to protect me because they can't… _"If I were to fail again, get cornered, one versus a million…then Quistis would have no one…And I can't do that to her. I can't."

The room fell silent; just the static of her walkie-talkie filled the room with sound. She looked back and forth between Zell's face and anywhere else in the room. _…he's just like Yuffie…exactly like her……Is this why…they look at me like that…? _"Z—Zell, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said—I…" Tifa bit her lip, trying to get the right words out, but failing. She wasn't sure why this kept happening._…all these serious talks with a complete stranger…_

Without looking at her, Zell whispered to the floor. "Sometimes, remembering everything isn't all that it's cracked up to be, you know?"

* * *

What a holiday treat! Haha. Two chapters in a short period of time. Hey, e-presents for those who can guess what Leon's code really means! 4-2-7-3-3-6…Don't think too hard! Wow, is it just me, or are these chapters getting longer?

Look! It's almost 2009!

PLEASE REVIEW!


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!): **If I could hug you all, I would! Your comments make me happy!

For those who are still curious, 4-2-7-3-3-6…Think of the telephone keypad and spell it out, G-A-R-D-E-N. When Squall was a SeeD, he was a military-for-hire and the school he went to for training and whatever was Balamb Garden. =)

* * *

Yuffie knew that if looks could kill, she'd be dead by now. Judging by the frown on Leon's face, she figured it would be nine or ten times over. "You know Squall, you should be grateful that Kekata is nice enough to help cure your headache."

His glare finally left her face to stare at the ceiling of the medical hut. "I didn't ask for this."

She dismissed his statement with a wave of her hand. "Well, whatever. At least they're being nice to us again…I never would have thought they would suspect us like that…"

"Yuffie, they had every reason to suspect us. We come unannounced, with items they have never seen before…and when we arrived, so did the Heartless." Leon sighed. "With the tension from the other 'white people' from the place across the sea, you should have expected some trust issues."

The petite ninja resisted the urge to roll her eyes. _You always have the answer, don't you? _"Yeah, but how can they stay mad at an innocent face like this?" Yuffie pulled out her award-winning smile to her bed-ridden companion. "An innocent face who happens to fight really well and who has a couple of tricks up her sleeve!"

Leon closed his eyes. "Whatever."

Before she could pout, the door flap opened to reveal Kekata, the Chief and Pocahontas. The healer walked quickly towards them, leaving the other two waiting at the door."The strong warrior…" Kekata began, moving over to the side of the bed that Yuffie did not occupy. "I have consulted the healing nature of the Earth and have found a remedy for your pain."

"I'm fine." Even to himself, he sounded like a broken record. _Maybe if they stop asking me what's wrong, I wouldn't have to repeat myself so many times…_ Leon sighed again and sat up in the cot. "Please, there is no need for this. We need to plan ahead and strategize for their next attack..." He looked at Chief Wahunsenacawh, hoping that the man would take the bait.

However, it was Yuffie who interjected. "Don't you worry about a thing, Leon! I'll take care of that until you get back!" When the glare came back her way, she laughed. "I know what to do!"

"Yes, Leon. Do not worry. There will be time for that when you are well. What good is a warrior to me if he is not able?" Chief Wahunsenacawh said, smiling lightly. "Who knew that there could be an expert in both medicine and war from the Land Across the Waters…?"

The old man put a hand on Leon's shoulder, applying a gentle pressure to hint that he wanted him to lie back down again. "A foolish warrior is one who does not admit to his wounds. It is the least I can do. You, and your companion, Yuffie, did much to help our tribe. Please, I must insist. Lay down."

Leon looked around the room once before giving in to the old healer's wishes. He knew that no one was going to budge on this. _Great…this will just be a waste of time…We have work to do. The Heartless are here; they're a huge threat to their primitive lifestyle…We have to get our act together for their protection. It's our duty, now…_

"Thank you." Kekata bowed as Leon lay back down. "Your knowledge and expertise in dealing with our present predicament is much appreciated. Allow me to assist you this time."

"Fine."

Yuffie and Pocahontas both smiled while the Chief nodded. "Your name is Leon, correct?" Kekata continued, rummaging around the shelves for the herbs he needed.

"Yes." Came the curt reply, talking over Yuffie's objection.

"Leon…Thank you for helping our people. You too, Yuffie…thank you as well."

"No problem!" Yuffie smiled, talking for the both of them since Squall was determined to stay silent.

"Now…for you, Leon…" Kekata held out a bowl to him, with three different types of flowers inside. "These herbs will help you relax…and the pain you experience in your head will float away. And this flower here," he paused, pointing to a yellow flower with five petals, "will give you pleasant dreams."

…_I'm sure it will. _Leon nodded anyway, against his skepticism. "I see."

"Yuffie…Pocahontas…Chief Wahunsenacawh. I need you to leave now. I need to start…" Kekata bowed to the Chief, before turning back to his shelves and finding the appropriate tools.

Squall's eyes fell back on Yuffie's; his tone was a harsh whisper and he spoke quickly. "Make sure you cover all the parameters. They are going to have to notify the other tribes around here…maybe form some alliances for more numbers. And—"

"—Squall, relax." She whispered right back, leaning in, ignoring his glare. "I know exactly what I'm doing. Besides, this is greatest ninja Hollow Bastion's ever seen you're talking to!"

"Come on, Yuffie!" Pocahontas was holding the door flap open for her, wishing she could hear what they were saying. "Kekata has to do his work."

With another smirk, Yuffie skipped out the door to join Pocahontas. _This is good for you, Squall...You need sleep...and even though you won't tell me why, I still care...because you're my friend, okay?_

"Leon. I need you to close your eyes…and take deep breaths…" Kekata said, bringing the bowl, that was now smoking, over to his bedside. Rolling his eyes under his eyelids, Leon complied, hearing the faint sound of a hand-held fan being used. The smoke drifted over to him and he quickly inhaled as much of it as possible. _Might as well get this over with…the faster I can say, 'I'm fine', with everyone believing me, the faster I can get back to the Heartless…_

—_Because that's all you have left, isn't it? Poor Commander Squall Leonhart…Your duty is all you have left...It's the only thing that holding together the lie you desperately want to hold on to..._

The smell of the smoke was not unpleasant, but Leon coughed out of reflex. "Relax, strong warrior…" Kekata's voice was sounding farther and farther away and as much as he wanted to open his eyes and storm out of the room, he couldn't. Whatever he was breathing in was strong enough to make every limb lose feeling. _Damn...this is...serious..._

"Don't worry, strong warrior…your rest will commence shortly…"

* * *

Yuffie could barely keep track of her 'Your welcome' and 'No problem' responses to all the Pohawtans who had practically ambushed her and Pocahontas. When they had exited Kekata's tent, Chief Wahunsenacawh had been quicker and avoided the rush. Her cheeks were hurting from all her smiling. _They're so grateful! _Women, children, and even some of the male warriors had thanked her for her cures. One family had even offered her three baskets of maze for their thanks.

Leon and her had made use of some of their Elixirs and Hi-Potions, but mainly relied on their unlimited Cura magic. The Pohawtans were, at first, wary of having them touch them…_but after they saw what we could do, no more hesitation! _

There was a pull on her wrist and before another group of people could come up, Yuffie, with Pocahontas leading, broke away from the crowd and into the forested area. Pocahontas was laughing as they got away. "I do not want all of that praise to get to your head."

"Oh, it was _so _not getting to my head." Yuffie responded, stepping over a fallen log. "I'm perfectly in control of my ego."

"Come on…" Pocahontas smiled, pulling her wrist again, making her way through the bushes and branches. _It is time we lose some of this seriousness…_ "Have you even been in a canoe?"

"…No…I haven't…But, wait! Aren't we supposed to go talk with the Chief about the next attack?" Although Yuffie was intrigued by her offer of recreational fun, she had promised Leon that she would do it. _And I can't make him madder at me than he already is…We still haven't searched for anyone yet…_

Pocahontas looked away at the mention of the next attack. She knew that she couldn't keep avoiding it, and she knew that avoiding it did nothing, but she really didn't want to think about the possibilities. "Don't worry about that. He'll probably want to talk to you after dinner…" She lied. She actually had no idea when her father would want to start talking about that, but she wanted some time alone with Yuffie.

"…Oh…" Yuffie mumbled, looking back at her native friend in pretend thought. "Well, in _that _case, I'd be delighted to go on a canoe ride with you!" With a giggle of relief, Pocahontas led the way again, to the closest shoreline where they would find their transportation. _Besides…it won't be for long, anyway…_

"Hey! I remember this bank!" Yuffie exclaimed, recalling it from the earlier tour. Stepping in front of Pocahontas, Yuffie hopped into the canoe, making the water splash up and onto her. "Ah! The water's freezing!"

Walking closer and pushing the canoe off the sandy banks, Pocahontas slipped into the canoe with Yuffie when the water was deep enough. Pulling out the paddles, she tossed one to her and explained how to row. "We have to be in sync with our paddles; right, right, left, left. And repeat, okay?"

Splashing more water around, Yuffie kept up and soon, the two of them were drifting comfortably through the still waters. The scenery was as beautiful as ever; the trees swayed in a light breeze, green and purplish leaves flying everywhere. _It's so awesome here…I never want to leave! _Yuffie had never seen anything like it; it was breathtaking. _The air is so clean…the water is crystal clear…_

Pocahontas, realizing their location, broke her thoughts. _Oh! I almost missed it! _"Yuffie, we need to go left at the next fork…I need to show you something. Put your paddle on the right of the canoe and keep it there until we turn. Ready?"

"Yeah!" On cue, the canoe veered left, towards their destination. "What do you have to show me, anyway?" Yuffie asked, curiousity growing.

"It's coming up…See? Just pull back those low branches…"

Kneeling up in the canoe, Yuffie bent forward to move the branches out of their way as Pocahontas slowed the canoe down. There was a sound that Yuffie could only identify as the sound of falling water…_Oh! A waterfall! _A few paddle strokes later and they had arrived a few feet away from the falls. A light mist covered most of the area and the water was calm enough that neither of them had to paddle to stay in one spot.

"That's…That's really pretty…" She whispered, not wanting her voice to ruin the serene picture of the falls. _Oh! I wish I had my camera or something! _The mist that formed at the base of the falls made a rainbow of colours for them to see. _…a rainbow…I haven't seen one of those since…since…_

"Not many people from the Land Across the Waters can say that they have seen one of these…" Pocahontas smiled at her friend's gaping mouth. "Truly, a sight to behold from Mother Earth."

"Oh, you got that right!" Yuffie nodded enthusiastically. "How'd you find this place?" She knew it was a stupid question, but she asked anyway to make conversation. "How do you say 'waterfall' in your language?" Staring at the falls some more, it was a while before she noticed that Pocahontas hadn't answered her. Frowning in confusion, she turned, to see her native friend staring intently at the waterfall with a wistful look in her eyes. "…Pocahontas…you okay?"

There was more silence. Yuffie turned completely around, sitting back down in the canoe, facing her. "Pocahontas?" She began to smile when she saw Pocahontas with a light blush on her face.

"I…I met a…friend here once…"

"A friend, eh?" Yuffie smiled slyly. _Seems more than a friend to me with that look on your face…_ "Does this _friend _have a name?"

Her face not changing, Pocahontas answered. "John. Captain John Smith."

"…Captain?"

"Yes." Pocahontas finally looked her way to explain. "They were the first group of white men to come here…in the beginning, there was great tension…but then…" She remembered the attacks, the deaths and the near assassination of her friend. "…But then we realized that the path of hatred is not one worth following."

Yuffie was intrigued. _Oh! Forbidden love, perhaps? _Although she couldn't stand the soap operas Aerith usually watched, she couldn't resist. "What happened? Where is he now?"

"He…He went back to his home. There was fighting on both sides and he became injured. He had to go back to get better…And I chose to stay here, to keep the delicate peace between us and the white men…" She smiled sadly at Yuffie. "Although he is not here in the flesh, I know that he is here with me in spirit."

"Wow…how romantic…" Yuffie sighed, smiling. "Do you think he'll come and visit?"

"He is always welcome amongst my people." Pocahontas said. "I would be very happy if I could see him sometime soon…but, even if he never returns for whatever reason, I am very glad that I met him. He was a beautiful person."

The canoe rocked gently in the water and both women looked back at the falls. Thinking aloud, Pocahontas broke the silence with a soft voice. "Perhaps we are supposed to lose the ones we love…that way, we realize how important they are to us…"

At her comment, Yuffie was reminded of all the people she had lost to the Heartless and even before then. Her parents, her ninja-tribe, Red XIII, Cloud and Aerith and Tifa… _…that's one way to look at it, I guess…but it doesn't make it go away… _She hadn't meant to do it, but her face fell and not even the rainbow could light it back up again.

"…Yuffie? Are you okay…? You look…sad."

_Damn, she's good at this whole mind-reading thing… _Yuffie gave her a practiced smile. "Ah, it's nothing…I'm just…thinking about the people that…" She trailed off, not able to finish, looking at the floor of the canoe.

"Oh…" Pocahontas understood. _Is that the sadness…? _"Yuffie…have you lost many people…?" She spoke quietly, treading lightly over her friend's sad state.

The sound of the waterfall was constant and it took a while for Yuffie to answer. _How many is 'many'? And who counts? Even though Cloud and Tifa and Aerith are _here _with me…do they still count because they don't…they don't…?_ "Yeah. I guess so…"

"I am…I am sorry to hear that." Pocahontas said sincerely. _Oh, Yuffie…_ "But I'm sure their spirits live on inside of you."

"Yeah…But it's hard…you know? When sometimes, not even you can remember the way they were before…" Yuffie mumbled, not exactly sure why she was revealing so much to a stranger. _…if they don't remember a thing…are they even the same person?_

"Memories are precious...but not perfect. We, as human beings, are not perfect. And we can't hold it against ourselves or against other people if we don't remember everything about everyone at every time because we are not meant to...We are only human." Pocahontas said slowly. "That's why...That is why it is important to cherish the time they spend with us."

Their dark eyes met, each pair filled with sadness as they reminisced. "It's still hard...to realize that part of them is fading away..." The native woman continued, "...There are some days that John and I shared that I can't remember. But that's okay. We are only human, and while our memory gets old and forgetful, the moments most dear stay inside us forever...We may not be able to draw upon them like we used to, but they are there."

_But what about the ones who have no memory at all...? What good are my memories when they can't remember? When they could just as easily pretend that it never happened? _Yuffie offered a small smile to her friend, but she knew that her eyes gave her away. "Yeah..."

Another pause of quiet contemplation. "Yuffie...?"

"Yes?"

"Has...Has Leon lost many people as well? Is that why...he is so sad?"

Even though she knew that she shouldn't tell, because it was Squall's business, because she didn't even know the whole story, Yuffie responded anyway. "Yeah. He lost a lot of people...and he...he makes it worse because he blames himself for losing them..."

Looking back at the rainbow in the waterfall, Pocahontas took a deep breath. _His grief is in his eyes, locked away...because he believes that lie to be true... _"He shouldn't do that."

"Try telling him that." Yuffie folded her arms over her chest. Her anger with Squall's stubbornness faded soon, as her trail of previous thoughts continued. Her shoulders sagged as she stared out at the water again. ..._Do they still count when I have to start all over with them...?_

_But your grief is different, Yuffie...Your sadness isn't locked away so strongly...It had always been in your eyes...just slightly out of reach...just behind that smile of yours... _Pocahontas blinked slowly, her voice coming out quiet. "...If those people he lost are truly his friends, they would not blame him at all. Because they are human too."

"He doesn't get that either." Picking up her paddle, Yuffie pushed all her thoughts aside with an impatient huff and began to row. _...What's the point...? If the only thing they can do is just pretend...?_ "I think I should go and talk with your father now..." Pocahontas could only nod as they turned the canoe around to go back to the camp.

* * *

This was a dream. It had to be.

One minute, he was staring at the ceiling of Kekata's tent with unfocused eyes, and the next, he was looking up at a blue sky with white clouds floating in it.

He turned his head to his right and saw her. She was there, in the hut with him, standing in the field of green and yellow and pink and purple. She was wearing her blue, sleeveless jacket and she was staring up at the sky. A breeze rolled in, moving her hair in every direction and a slender arm moved up to hold some down. _Rinoa..._

As if she heard him, she turned, and their eyes locked. _Wait... _Maybe this was real, because by now, his head would have been splitting open and he would have woken up already. _Rinoa... _He watched her as her arm lowered from her hair and instead pointed up to the sky. He was relieved, _very _relieved, that her image didn't blur or fuzz out of focus or skip or repeat. He was relieved that he didn't hear anything else but the wind.

He followed her finger's direction and brought his eyes back up to the ceiling of Kekata's tent. He watched the clouds drift by. He watched the blades of green grass and the purple and the pink and the white and the yellow flower petals whisk past him. All of which, he noted, caused no headache and were brilliant images. This was the way his dreams were supposed to be.

In the distance, his eyes caught on to something white that did not look like a petal. As it neared, he exhaled slowly, and he realized it was a feather. A white, fluffy feather from the wings of the angel. His angel. His Sorceress. It drifted past him, and in consequence of following its path with his eyes, he turned back to her again. His heart pounded in his chest because now, she was standing closer to him.

No, this couldn't be a dream. She was closer to him and she hadn't dripped out of focus. If it had been a dream, she would have been a muddled mess at this point. Maybe this was a sign. Maybe, she's staying because she knows that he wants to know why. He blinked as his mind worked out an explanation even in this state. Now was the time. Now was his chance. Now he had to say it. _Rinoa, why...? _

She smiled at him, a light blush on her cheeks, and he stopped mid-sentence at that look. He missed that look. He had almost forgotten that look. That one that just made everything stop.

"_Squall..." _Her dark eyes looked him over and another breeze rolled in. _"Don't tell me you've forgotten..."_

He had heard that line before but this time, he could actually _hear _her and didn't have to read her lips. He stared at her, watching her face change. It looked like she was waiting for him to say something, _anything_, and while he was sure his lips opened and his voice came out, he didn't hear himself. It hurt him to ask her, but he had to. Now was his chance. He had to know what was missing. _Rinoa...where...?_

Her lips opened again and she outstretched her arms to encompass the fields around her. _"...I'll be here, waiting...for you...so, if you come here...you'll find me...I promise..." _His eyes roamed over the fields, trying to figure out exactly where they were. He felt a pang in his chest when his mind exhausted every possibility and couldn't get it. He looked back at her with sad eyes, because he knew that he had failed her again. Even if her face didn't show disappointment, he knew that it was hurting her. Because what kind of Knight would fail to stay by their Sorceresses' side? _Please, where...? _

—_You don't deserve to know that. It's a little too late to know that, isn't it, Commander Squall Leonhart? You don't deserve to be near her anymore, you coward._

He felt his eyelids drop in a weak blink, in his defeat, from his failure...and he was sure he would see nothing but darkness afterwards because that's all he really deserved...but when he opened his eyes again, she was even closer to him. In fact, she was right next to him, kneeling on the floor next to the cot. She was so close that his heart pounded even faster, all previous train of thought, all his guilt, all his sadness, vanishing from his mind at her proximity. _Rinoa...?_

Now he was certain that this couldn't be a dream. He would have definitely woken up by now. He would have exploded into a million pieces, sending his own blacks and whites and reds and blues into the fields where she was...and even though he couldn't remember where, this had to be real. The Sorceress and her Knight. The way it was supposed to be. Side by side, each protecting the other. His felt his breathing pick up, a reaction he remembered doing whenever she got this close. He lay there, facing her profile, his mind blissfully, and thankfully, blank.

_...Squall..._

...Maybe everything else that came up to this point was fake. All of that nonsense about the Heartless and Xenmas and Other Worlds...If this part was real, if this part wasn't a dream, why would any of that be true? She was there. He was _talking _to her. He could feel her presence beside him.

He already knew that his work with the Restoration Committee was a lie. Maybe all of _that _was indeed a dream. Maybe all of _that _had never happened at all. Maybe the Garden really was still standing, and all of _that _was a terrible dream from him reading all those Garden reports so late into the night and not sleeping well over the last few days. No. He was not in some native tribe's camp breathing in smoke to help him get to sleep. He was with her...and she was with him.

—_You can keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better..._

He studied her profile as she looked out, beyond the horizon. He was relieved that her face wasn't blotchy or unrecognizable. He barely noticed that the sky behind her had become dark blue, but he did enjoy the image of her face in the moonlight. It was serene. He could see each of her eyelashes, all of her faint freckles, and every crevice in her ear...in perfect clarity. _Rinoa... _

His heart pushed hard against his ribcage, but he didn't feel it. And he didn't care. It would be all right with him if he never felt anything at all again...if he never had to wake up again...as long as he stayed where he was. As long as he could stay here with her. _Rinoa..._ Because that's all he wanted right now. And if he had to sleep forever to get all that he really wanted, then so be it.

Slowly, she turned to him, a sly smile on her face. Her hand pointed up to the sky again and she waited for him to look. This time, he stared at her for a few moments before turning back to the ceiling. He wanted to take his time. There was no need to rush now. His headache wasn't there...He had no need to wake up. He just wanted this, whatever this was, to stay. He wanted this part to stay frozen in time forever. The Sorceress and her Knight. Like it was supposed to be.

_...Squall..._

To replace the light blue sky and the clouds and the flowers, there was an image of the bright, white moon. He knew that it was millions and millions of miles away, but it looked so close that he could touch it. In his peripherals, he saw the shooting star she had seen...He saw it move past all the stationary stars still in the sky. He wanted this part to stay frozen in time forever. This part was before everything. He remembered this night, this night on the balcony, so it must have happened, right? It couldn't be fake...Everything else must be fake because this part was real.

He looked back to her and was sure that he felt his lips move upwards in a small smile. _Rinoa... _Their eyes locked and he watched her move closer and closer and closer until his eyes slid close and all he could see was darkness and all he could feel was a tingly pressure on his lips. _R...Rinoa... _This had to be real. He could feel her there with him; he could feel her breath on his face, her lips on his...His could feel his mouth quivering over hers as he tried to abandon all his logical thought.

—_You coward._

Of course, he knew it wasn't real. He knew that there shouldn't be stars, that she should have looked different, that they couldn't magically teleport between fields and the Garden's balcony. No, of course this wasn't real. It was all a figment of his imagination. His brain was working overdrive and recreating the feelings and the images and her because he hadn't been sleeping well over the last couple of days. She was gone, they were gone...And it was still his fault, no matter what they said.... This _was_ a dream. _A lie_. And he knew it. This piece of time wasn't happening again. Deep in his mind, he _knew _this wasn't real.

But for that moment, that moment when their lips connected, when his mind stopped working for those brief seconds, when his heart finally took over, he truly believed that it was.

* * *

WAYOH.

The Squall/Rinoa kiss happens at the end of FFVIII. So, yeah: a re-enactment. Had a bit of trouble with this chapter (hence the late-ness) because I felt that there wasn't enough angst. Hahahahahaha.

PLEASE REVIEW!


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!): **If I could hug you all, I would! Your comments make me happy! Thankies to all the consistent readers and all my newbies! =D

* * *

"Any change?"

The voice startled Pocahontas out of her light sleep. Turning to the entrance of Kekata's tent, she saw Yuffie, with a concerned face, holding a blanket and the make-shift pillow she had been given. Looking back at the still sleeping Leon, she shook her head. "No. Nothing."

Sighing, Yuffie walked in, taking the seat next to Pocahontas beside his cot. "...Are you sure him sleeping this long is really bad?"

"Not bad...just unusual." Pocahontas clarified, eyes not leaving Leon's form. For every breath he exhaled, she made sure that he inhaled every time. "Kekata has never seen a reaction like this before, that's all. Such deep sleep..."

"He seems to be reacting weirdly to this place a lot, isn't he?" Yuffie offered a small smile, but it was dropped quickly when she remembered all the strange possessed dazes. _Come on...Leon...Squall...Just, whatever! Don't be stupid! Please!_

"Don't worry, Yuffie." Pocahontas reached over and put her hand over hers. "Leon is a strong man. I am sure he'll be fine." _...But...No matter how strong he is...no man can live alone the way he does..._

There was a silence as both women watched the sleeping man breathe. "Pocahontas...?"

"Yes, Yuffie?"

"He...He's not going to die, is he?" Her question was so quiet that the native woman almost missed it. She watched the moonlight dance off of Yuffie's features and saw the sadness in her eyes.

_She truly cares for him...Her sadness comes from his sadness...the one that she can't fix... _Pocahontas squeezed her fingers. Her next words were spoken with such conviction that it almost chased the doubt out of her own mind. "He won't."

_Because if he does...it would be my fault for making him take the medicine...It would be my fault for bringing him here...and it would be my fault for starting this whole thing... _Yuffie gave her another small smile, trying to believe it. "...How can you be so sure...?"

Pocahontas looked back to Leon. _And he is so caught up in his sadness...that he can not see the goodness right in front of him... _"The herbs that Kekata used are not poisonous. They are only meant to relax the body and to allow the mind, heart and soul to open. That is why he said that they would give him pleasant dreams; the intangible elements of our bodies, our desires, our dreams, our aspirations, are allowed to be free for one night...and what is more sweet than that?"

"But why is...why is he still sleeping?" Although she asked, Yuffie already had her own answer to her question. _He...He's probably dreaming of them...and he probably wants to sleep forever... _

"...Perhaps...this is the first time in a long time he allowed it to happen. And he needs time to deal with all of that openness. There are probably many things that he shut away and all of them need time to play out in his sleep. Leon strikes me as the type of man who doesn't allow himself to get distracted by things as 'foolish' as dreams..."

"You got that right...There's always a wall there." Yuffie gave another small smile. For a while, the two of them just watched him sleep in the moonlight. She wasn't sure why, but her bottom lip started to quiver as Pocahontas' words kept repeating. _He has always kept it in...always... _"I don't think...I've ever seen him happy since I met him..."

Pocahontas looked back, eyes sad. "The grief of loss is sometimes a lot to bear. But it is not meant to be kept inside. It does him no good to keep the blame to himself."

"But he keeps doing it. And...And I don't know what to do anymore to get him to snap out of it." Yuffie squeezed her eyes shut. "He doesn't have a right to be sad anymore. He keeps pretending that he's fine, but he's not...He just keeps throwing himself into his work and keeps pretending...He doesn't get the fact that he's not the only one. That his friends are trying to help him...and I don't know what to do anymore...I don't..."

Before she knew it, Pocahontas' slender arms wrapped around her in a hug. There was a deep sigh before Pocahontas smiled into her ear. "You...You are a good friend to him. And he will always need people like you. Because even though his dreams may vanish when he wakes up, it shouldn't stop him from trying again...from opening his eyes to the wonders and the goodness around him...But he's stubborn, and it will take time. He will understand. He will. And for that, he will be forever grateful to you."

_She has such optimism... _Yuffie smiled a little. _And I wish I could tell her the whole story, so that she can completely understand...but not even I know...It just seems like he's been getting worse...getting stuck in his guilt that's not real... _"I hope so."

"He will." Pocahontas reassured her, pulling away from the hug slowly. "And maybe, with this sleep...he'll be a new man. Don't you think so?"

In the moonlight, just as the two women pulled away from each other, Yuffie saw a twitch on Leon's face. She could have sworn was a smile and not just some involuntary muscle movement; it was fast and in her next blink, it was gone. "...Yeah. I hope so."

* * *

She had stayed with him all night.

Even though he lapsed between darkness, the balcony and the hut, he felt her there. Her head on his shoulder, her arm wrapped around his, their fingers linked together. He felt every breath. He felt her weight when she slept on the cot next to him. And even though he couldn't reach out and touch her, she stayed until the moon at the balcony was replaced with the sun.

Groggily, Leon's eyes opened to be assaulted by the brightness of the new morning. The thatched roof did little to shield him from the sun's rays and he found himself wincing. _It's…morning? _He tried to sit up, but his limbs weren't working yet. The sunlight vanished as his eyelids closed again, his body refusing to wake up. The oranges and the reds and the blacks under his eyelids danced around a little as his body battled consciousness.

He turned his head to the side, still feeling her weight, her breaths, and her pressure on the right side of his body. Leon felt his lips open, whispering her name to the head on his shoulder that he thought was still there. "R…Rinoa…?" His voice was dry and raspy to his ears and he could have sworn that he saw her outline on the cot next to him with his bleary, morning vision.

…_Squall…_

Carefully, Leon opened his eyes fully to see the image of Rinoa at his side be replaced with that of Yuffie in a chair. He blinked several times, trying desperately to bring back the night, because even dreams like that were better than what he had to deal with now…but he knew that she was gone.

His mouth clamped shut, bile rose in his throat, his heart felt heavy, he felt nervous and stupid because he believed it. He honestly believed that every moment after the first balcony kiss hadn't happened yet and that he hadn't failed them at all. His heart hammered in his chest and he winced at the sensation. _This _feeling was real, he convinced himself. Not her breathing, not her pressure…_This _pain that he always felt would always be real. And no matter how sweet the dream, no matter what happened now, no matter what they said, nothing would be able to bring _that _back.

Those moments. He missed moments like that. He wanted, so desperately, to get those moments back, before it was too late and too forgotten…Those precious times with _them _and _there _and _him _and _her _and everything else that he turned his back on and abandoned and gave up on… Nothing could bring him back to those times. No matter how much he wanted to, he could never be in those moments again.

He blinked and forced himself awake, pushing the dream as far away from his mind as possible. He suddenly felt very foolish that he had said her name out loud. Things like that weren't meant to be said; they get questioned…and the last thing he wanted was to bring up all that stuff that hurt him on the inside because it would never come back. _No one…No one but me needs to be burdened by my failure…Because it is mine. And mine alone._

He forced himself to focus on the image of a sleeping Yuffie, forcing himself to believe that _she _was real, forcing himself to forget about the moments that he wanted back, the moments he missed because it was too late to focus on what he wanted. It was a little late for him to know where they were. Because even if he could get it back, even if he could see _her_ or the rest of _them_ again, he wouldn't deserve their forgiveness and it would never be the same. Because they had done so much for him and he couldn't even return that favour when they needed it most. _…and what kind of friend is that…?_

He coughed a little, letting his awake state be known, and hoping that Yuffie didn't hear him say it. He didn't want to think about it anymore because he would never be prepared to deal with it now. Because even if she was out there, somewhere, alive, like Zell or even like Quistis, it would never be like it was. _And I don't deserve that…I never will…not after my actions…_

Yuffie stirred in her seat at the noise before blinking and jumping up. "Oh! Hey, Leon!" She whispered excitedly to him, but with sleepiness still evident in her voice. "Good morning!" She got up from her chair after yawning and patted his hand. _He looks better…maybe he did a lot of thinking...maybe he got all his dreams sorted out..._"You feeling any better, Mr. Big-Shot?"

Leon gave her a wry stare, his previous thoughts drifting out of his mind. "I'm fine. Thank you."

She rolled her eyes at him, but smiled anyway. Another yawn escaped her lips before she spoke again. "I think that this time, you actually mean that."

"I meant it the first fifty times I said it. Where were your deducing skills then?" He moved his head back into the center position. There was a pause as he stared at the golden sunlight that got into the hut unfiltered. Yes, this part _was _real. It must be. Even though he didn't want it to be, this was his punishment after all. He didn't deserve to live in that dream where he could get it back. "…What time is it?"

"I dunno." Yuffie shrugged at him, leaning over him in the cot, getting back into his field of vision. "They don't have clocks here, you know."

He closed his eyes in slight irritation. "Yes, but _you_ have a watch, Yuffie. What time is it?"

"Well, I'm glad someone's feeling like their old witty self again…" When her attempt at avoiding the question failed, Yuffie rubbed the back of her neck. "Actually…it broke."

"It broke?" He repeated, looking at her with an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah. See, me and Pocahontas went on this canoe ride…and we were really splashing around…and we saw this waterfall too; it was really pretty…but, I guess some water got in it, because now, the only time it shows is four thirty-seven. And that has to be wrong, because clearly, it's not four thirty-seven." She laughed a little after talking so fast. "But hey! I don't need a watch to know that it's breakfast time! So, come on! You're awake! Let's get moving!" Yuffie pulled his arm. "Come on, slow-poke. Don't you want food?"

Using his other arm, Leon slowly brought himself into a sitting position on the cot. Another question came to him and he blinked again, slowly digesting her story and slowly getting the words out. "How…How long were you here for?"

_All night... _She dropped his arm and cocked her head to the side. "Well, Kekata said that you should have been awake _hours _ago, so he was getting kinda worried…So me, Pocahontas and Nakoma took turns making sure you didn't die on us. But, I know you better; you're too stubborn to die." A big smile came his way. _Besides, you can't die on me yet! Not until we're done here…not until I see you with a smile on your big, stupid face. I hope that you're feeling better, Leon...because that's all I really want. No more lies or pretending...You can still have a heart...and you don't have to banish them from your mind to get one..._

"Thanks." He mumbled sarcastically at her last comment. Moving slowly, he brought his legs over the side of the cot and paused. His mind was still working slowly, as if he was still dreaming. He blinked again, somewhat thankful that the grass at his feet didn't turn into the tiles on the balcony. "…After your canoe ride, did you…did you talk to Chief Wahunsenacawh?"

"Yes, yes, yes." Yuffie rolled her eyes again. "Jeeze, Squall, have a little faith in me! I told you that I know what I'm doing. We got together, assembled more arrows and spears and flammable materials…made little stations for the weapons…and I even got him to call up his 'brothers' from the other tribes. Now they're in on it too and are coming soon to help us. We've set up look-out points for early detection _and _Kekata is making his own Elixirs! I gave him one of ours and he's trying to copy it…He's really smart, you know."

Leon's mind worked as fast as it could to process the information, the sleep-inducing smoke still lingering. Out of habit, he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay…That's…That's fine. Good." Taking a deep breath, Leon slowly stood and stretched out his limbs, removing all the stiffness. He looked back at her, as they began moving towards the door flap, and mumbled, "Breakfast sounds good."

"Hey! Sunshine twins! Over here!" Nakoma called out to them as the exited the hut, laughing. While Yuffie raced over to get some food, Leon took a few moments to let his eyes adjust to the brighter environment. The sun was shining and the sky was clear, save for a few white clouds. He pursed his lips together when he heard the sound of rushing water. He inhaled deeply, trying to keep his heart from racing. Even if they were out there, even if he found them now… _…what good would it do?_

—_Nothing. Nothing you do now can override your failure to them, Commander Squall Leonhart…_

It wouldn't be the same; he knew that even if he found them now, he wouldn't be able to go back. Not like this. Not tied up with other business that he deemed more important than his search for them. _…how could…I abandon them like that…and expect anything in return…? _

—_How can you expect anything from them, when all this time you were content in thinking that they were dead?_

He closed his eyes for a moment, relieved that nothing but darkness greeted him, because that's all he really deserved anyway, before making his way down. He tried not to think about it now. Because now wasn't the time. _…maybe…after our job is done here…maybe then…_

—_Putting your new friends' ideals before your old ones, hmm? Very, very noble of you, Commander…Stick to your duties; let's see how far it will get you this time..._

"Good morning, Leon." Pocahontas smiled warmly, moving to her left to make room for him on the log. "Did you sleep well?"

Avoiding her gaze, he took the plate being offered to him before responding as politely as he could. _You made a commitment. You need to do this. It's your job now. _"Yes. Fine."

—_That's all you have left, isn't it? That's all you'll ever be good for, you know. Following orders…Going in, getting the information, getting the job done…that's it. Just like in the beginning…_

"And your headache's gone, right?" Yuffie looked up from her food for a second before diving back into it again. She smiled to herself at her next thought. _Maybe, with all that sleep, he's thinking clearly and we can finally get started on searching for them again…_

"Yes." Leon muttered quickly, wishing that the topic of conversation would change soon. The state of his health was not the issue here; he was fine. He was as fine as he would ever be because it would never be the same. He could never get it back, could never redeem himself, but that was his punishment and he had comes to terms with it. He was not the problem. The Heartless were. _They should be more concerned about that…Don't they understand?_

"Sweet dreams, I'll bet." Nakoma smirked, popping a berry into her mouth. "You were out cold. Never seen someone react to the medicine like that."

Pocahontas looked at him sadly, catching his eyes briefly. All she could see was the methodical thinking she had seen before. _You do not look any better, Leon…No amount of deep sleep can make up for your buried grief… _"We…We were worried about you."

A quick glance came her way and she immediately stopped her staring. Leon paused for a minute, having to stop his previous thoughts and catch up with the statements being said. Against his irritation, he responded as politely as he could. "You don't have to worry. I'm fine."

Nakoma made a sound at the back of her throat. "Yeah, you're fine. The more you keep saying it, the less I believe you."

_But that doesn't matter…Can't you see that?! _"You don't have to believe me. You can just stop asking me how I'm doing." Leon glared at her, tired that the conversation hadn't changed yet. _Because no one has to know. If everyone could just leave me alone, maybe I could be fine. _"Maybe then, I wouldn't have to repeat myself and I could do my damn job."

He had to plan for these types of things. He had to have every possibility and scenario accounted for and prepared for. He had to reduce the risks of injury and maximize their effectiveness. He was SeeD. It would go against his innate being not to have everything on paper, in order, on schedule. He still had that. He still had his precision and his rational thought…something he would always have and no one could take that away from him. That was all he had left and there was no time for comments about what he couldn't have because those comments didn't matter. _They have more important, tangible things to worry about…_

—_Well, by that logic, Commander, that would mean that you don't matter, right? Because if questions about you and your mindset are trivial things, what good are you then?_

_Shut up._

—_A life like yours seems pretty meaningless, after all...You don't deserve anything. After how you treated your friends, what good are you? You will work. You will do your duty. And after your duty, what then? …All you'll have left is death. Seems fitting, doesn't it?_

_Enough. Stop it._

The glare lasted a few seconds before the native woman rolled her eyes and waved him off, not seeing that his glare and his tone weren't really meant for her. "Fine. Whatever. That's the last time I make sure you don't die in your sleep…"

There was a pause, but no more questions addressing his health were voiced. _S—Squall…?! _Yuffie stared at him incredulously from her seat, silently ordering him to apologize for his tone. _The way…the way he said that…as if nothing's changed…_Leon saw the stare, but didn't bother. He didn't care if Nakoma hated him; he wasn't here to make friends and it wasn't part of the plan. They had a job to do. That's it.

Thankful that the conversation had ended, and that his mind had finally quieted, he looked over to Yuffie, ignoring her insistent, silent demand. "Has anything happened since I've been asleep?"

"No. Nothing." Yuffie kept her answer short, getting the words out slowly through pursed lips; breakfast time was no time to talk about matters like _that_. Especially when it made everyone else really nervous. She adverted her eyes from his, feeling the tension and her anger grow. _… maybe all that sleep did absolutely nothing to change his attitude…Dammit Squall! What the hell is wrong with you?! Why do you do this to yourself?! Here I am, thinking you're getting better..._

Pocahontas and Nakoma quickly filled the silence that arrived with somewhat awkward chatter, only managing to get Yuffie to respond half-heartedly. It wasn't long before Leon quietly excused himself from the group, intent on getting first-hand reports from the look-out stations. He ignored yet another angry stare from Yuffie as he left. _I know him…and he is definitely _not _getting up to find them! And he's probably not acknowledging that fact either! He still thinks this is about the Heartless...Why are you still in denial for?! It's not fair!_

"Jeeze, Yuffie…has he always been like that?" Nakoma whispered when Leon was out of earshot. Pocahontas, knowing the answer to that, looked up at Yuffie sadly, knowing that the sleep that avoided him did nothing to clear his mind. She saw Yuffie's sadness in her eyes for a second, before she jumped up and raced after Leon. _Oh...Yuffie... Leon, why can't you understand that your happiness is all Yuffie wants...? _

_Now…where are the watchmen…? _It wasn't like he doubted Yuffie's skills, it was just that he would feel more confident about this arrangement if he could get the information himself. Leon strode with purpose towards the outside of the territory. _…It's all about the duty now…We have to protect them…Until they are certain they can do it themselves…There is no need for anything else…_

—_Yes, because the duty is all you have left, isn't it? But the duty won't erase the fact that Zell and Quistis are waiting for you, you know…_

_Stop it._

—_Don't tell me you've already forgotten about them? They are real, Commander, but don't think for a second that they'll be acting like they do in your dreams because you will never deserve that luxury..._

"—Leon! Stop right there!" It had taken her a while, but Yuffie finally caught up. _You are not getting away that easily! Even if I have to pound you into the ground, you're going to listen!_

He turned a little, pinching the bridge of his nose to stop the hand from squeezing his heart into plasma, to see Yuffie running to meet him. He sighed. _What now…? _"Yes, Yuffie?" He asked, his irritation evident in his tone; he knew she wasn't going to talk about their preparations or their next attack. _Is she going to make me apologize to Nakoma…?_

Having to run to catch up with his longer strides, Yuffie panted as she got close, taking a minute to get her breathing under control. "What is your problem?!"

"Excuse me?" Leon frowned slightly at her tone, not expecting that question.

She pointed a finger at his chest. "You can hear me perfectly well, _Leon_." Yuffie emphasized his name, saying it as if it left a bad taste in her mouth. "Where do you think you're going? You can't just get up from breakfast like that! The Pohawtans put a lot of effort into that and you can't just—!"

"—Yuffie. Enough." He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "We have work to do. We don't have time for a long-winded meal."

Her fists clenched and she refused to give in to her mind's idea to hit him. "Work? _Work_?! Dammit, what the hell is _wrong_ with you?!" Although extremely childish in appearance, Yuffie stomped her foot at the end of her questions in anger. "What work are you talking about?!" _Still…still, he refuses to believe it…Dammit, Squall! Your friends may be alive out there! You can still have that hope! Why can't you accept that?!_

Leon blinked several times, looking over her face. _She's…angry…_ He spoke slowly, as if she wouldn't understand. "The Heartless. They're going to attack again. Don't tell me you've forgotten that."

…_Squall…_

"Don't you dare use that tone with me!" She shouted right back, cheeks tinting with red; she knew his poker-face and now was not the time. "I let you off the first time with that excuse, but not today!" Yuffie marched right up to him, so that the tips of their boots were touching. "I don't have any more patience! Lemme get this through your head, you stubborn mule! We are here to look for your _friends_. Remember?! Zell and Quistis?! Yeah, well, they're waiting for you back home and I was hoping that you would get over yourself and find the rest of them! Or at least get over yourself enough to talk to those two!"

He paused, lips pursed together, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to ignore the sound of her clacking shoes. And the flutes and the clarinets and the violins that were getting louder and louder and louder. When her words processed in his mind, his heart pounded. _But I…I don't deserve a second chance, Yuffie…What part of that don't you understand? Why do you care so much about that?! _"Yuffie." There was a warning tone in his voice that she recognized from the time when she first touched down in the garage with her new passengers…but this time, she ignored it.

"We are not leaving here until we look! What is it? Don't you want to find them?! Right now, I'm far past the part of caring about your ego and about how you couldn't find them first, okay? What is your problem?!" Yuffie continued, voice rising in volume. Neither of them paid any attention to the stares of the Pohawtan onlookers. "How can you be so against something if it hasn't even happened yet? Or if you haven't even tried?! Did you even _talk _to them back there?! And don't say that you have nothing to say because you _clearly _do because you are having issues keeping it all in!"

"Yuffie." He kept his eyes closed but could hear their screams and shouts and spells under his eyelids. He could feel the energy of that last battle whip around him, but he wouldn't open his eyes because he didn't want to verify anything. He didn't want to see the colours melt away, he didn't want to see her walk away from him or fade off because it would just keep reminding him of the things he couldn't have.

_SQUALL!_

"Do you honestly _like _being unhappy?! Do you honestly believe that beating yourself up about something that isn't even your fault is any way to heal?! Do you honestly believe that keeping it in and shutting us out and acting like you acted before you met _them_ will help you?! Zell told me all about the way you were before and how long it took them to get you to snap out of your cynicism! Life isn't meant to be lived that way! You don't always have to be strategic or have everything mapped-out. It's life!"

"Yuffie…" The colours around him, under the protection of his eyelids, were starting to blur and he could swear that he could see the Grand Hall again, before and after, spinning around and around with the sparkling lights, the tall grass, the purple and the pink and the white flowers with the blue and the black of her.

"Just tell me! God, Squall! Why can't you just say it?! What would be so bad if you found them?! Would it destroy your schedule? Would it destroy your stupid mood swings and your brooding that you seem so fond of? Stop pretending and listen for a second! Can't you see that they don't blame you?! Didn't Zell tell you that, you idiot?! They just care about you, like the rest of us! It's not your fault, Squall, so stop saying it is! Everyone deserves another chance! And yours is right here! Why don't you want to find them—?!"

"—Yuffie, don't call me—" The smell of fire and smoke and ash and death were getting overwhelming. He could barely breathe and could barely hear Yuffie over the static and the rushing waters and the imagined sound of her scream. He was going to explode. Into a million little pieces and finally fade away into the background. Because that's all he really wanted right now. He didn't want to see the image of her being sucked into the clouds again. Not again.

"—No! Stop avoiding the subject!" Her mouth couldn't stop now; she had been keeping all this stuff in since the day his headaches started, since he stopped searching, since he decided that becoming Leon and not talking about it was the best thing he could do. Her cheeks were red with anger and from the lack of oxygen from talking too much. Tears of frustration almost slid out of her eyes. "You can't just shut it out anymore! You can't keep yourself from being happy anymore because it's not fair! You aren't the only one! We've all lost people! That's the reality! Get over yourself and _tell _me why you are resisting this so much! Why don't you want to try again? What would be so bad if you found them—?!"

_SQUALL!_

"—_Because I don't deserve it, Yuffie_!" The anger in his voice startled her into stopping and stopped everything in his mind. His eyes snapped open, focused and cold. He was breathing heavily through his nose, breathing in the smoke, and Yuffie quickly caught her breath. She had never seen him so angry. After a moment, his glare settled on her eyes and he spoke slowly again, emotion controlled. "It wouldn't matter if I found them now because I don't deserve it."

"W—What?"

"Hyne, Yuffie!" She watched his eyebrows knit together and his fists shake. _Why…why does she want me to say it?! Why can't all of this just go away?! _His lips were quivering, not used to speaking about this out loud, but they could no longer contain it...maybe because he hadn't been sleeping well over the last couple of days…maybe because the sounds of the last day came rushing back at his pause, assaulting his nerves with no headache pain to distract him. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not like this. _Why can't it stop?! _"I don't deserve their forgiveness. I don't deserve to get what I want. I don't deserve a second chance. I don't deserve them anymore because I abandoned them!"

Yuffie had never heard him talk like this. Never. Thinking quickly, her mouth opened, seeing its chance to remove his mindset. "No! No, you didn't! What happened that day wasn't—!"

"—Yes! It was! You can't say anything because you weren't there, so just _be quiet_!" Leon shouted, a light throb in his temples coming back, the sound of rushing water hitting him between his ears. "I failed them. I couldn't protect them. I lost them all and I couldn't find them. And I abandoned them again when I decided to join you!"

Yuffie's eyes widened at his last comment, a silence filling the tiny space between them. She took a step back. _Is that…is that what he really thinks? Are we…the reason…? _Her voice came out small, losing all previous aggression. "…what?"

His eyes squeezed shut, seeing the Grand Hall's colours melt away again, but his mouth kept moving, his tone bitter, his syllables getting through his clenched teeth. "You can hear me perfectly well, Yuffie. If I were to find them again, now, after all of this...that would make every day I spent with you, Cid, Tifa, Aerith, Cloud and Sora a complete waste of time. A lie. A diversion. Don't you see that? Instead of looking for them then, I came on board with the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee and left them for a second time.

"And now that you've found them…" A bitter, sad chuckle escaped his lips as the weight of the situation hit him fully. "...Hyne, Yuffie... Did it ever occur to your meddling little head that I don't want this?! At all? Because now, I know that I made the wrong choice …I made the wrong decision because I should have kept looking. I should have looked harder. I could have redeemed myself that way…I should have died looking for them instead of starting over because they deserved at least that!" _…and what friend am I that I can't even do that right…? _His eyes opened, frown still in place, looking down at Yuffie, who had a mix of shock and sadness and anger in her eyes.

"...S_—_Sq_—..._" Yuffie tried to stutter out his name, but failed as his stare kept coming. Ice and steel and cold and industrial was all she could see in his eyes, and part of her wondered how that ever melted in the first place. _W—What...?_

He swallowed at her silence, the images and the sounds finally starting to die down, lips tight, ignoring the look on her face. "…There. Is that what you wanted? Are you happy now?"

He watched her face squish into anger. He watched her eyes as they began to tear. But before she could say anything, he turned, intent on getting reports, because that's what he had to do now. He made the wrong choice, but he made a commitment nonetheless. And he ignored the pain in his chest as he walked away, that feeling of his insides being compressed, keeping the regrets of his words out of his face. As he looked out in front of him, the image of the forest came in sharp focus and the Grand Hall vanished.

Because this wasn't about that. It never would be. This was business. And it didn't matter what he wanted anymore, it didn't matter what his name was…None of that would matter; not for the place he would surely end up now.

—_You don't deserve anything. Not even Yuffie's kindness…All you have to look forward to now is death…Seems fitting, doesn't it?_

She stood there, watching his retreating back move away. Her mind, scrambled and jumbled, tried to understand what he had just said to her. _He…He just…_ His tone was cold, more so than she was used to. _He doesn't… _All her effort into trying, their 'friendship' that never existed in the first place…_ We…we were nothing to him...to begin with...just a convenience... _When a tear finally trailed down the side of her cheek, her voice came back strong and full of anger. "I HATE YOU, _SQUALL_ LEONHART!"

And when she realized that he hadn't stopped or turned, that he had kept walking, ignoring her, she knew that she wouldn't forgive him. She hated him even more.

* * *

OMG. I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LATENESS.

The scandal of this chapter. Major writer's block. Three re-writes…JEBUS. I hope this came out right. Some clarification; yes, Squall is supposed to sound like an asshole. But that's only because he is seriously messed up in his guilt and his self-fulfilling prophecy of him not deserving what he has now and not deserving what he wants.

Next chapter (and I mean this): THE TURNING POINT! :D

Of course, thanks again to Cheekyte! MAJOR MUSE! She shoved me in the right direction. I was expecting this fight scene to come later, but HERE IT IS!

PLEASE REVIEW

PS. omg, longest chatper ever! =)  
**PPS. This is Evil SS here; being nostalgic and stuff. This chapter always kind of bugged me in terms of Squall's words to Yuffie. So, after all this time, I finally came back and edited them :) I think now, in 2013, I finally got better words down on this document. I think I stayed truer to his character. So, boo-yeah to me.  
PPPS. I've also found other formatting/spelling errors upon re-reading my own fic. But that would be too much to go back and change. lol**


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!): **Your comments make me happy! Sorry for the late update, but school and stuff.

* * *

She was going to do this.

Even if it meant punching Cid into oblivion to get her answers.

So there Tifa stood, outside Cid's room, still dressed in her work-clothes since her night-shift ended a few minutes earlier. She was going to do this. She _had _to know. She had a _right _to know, didn't she? She was _there_, wasn't she? Once and for all, she was going to get some answers and finally understand why Cid and Yuffie always gave her that look.

Yes. She was going to do this.

Taking a deep breath in, Tifa raised her hand to knock…but could not lower it onto the door. Her nerves were beginning to settle in her stomach, making her hand shake a little. Lowering it back to her side, she scolded herself. _No. I have to know. No more pretending. No more being scared. You have to do this. Don't whimp out now!_

Zell had told her that she was different. She retained something. She knew bits and pieces and just needed the rest to fill the void. She knew where she came from and that there was something missing. She wasn't like Aerith or Cloud or Quistis…She was different. He had warned her though. And it was that warning that was making her hesitate.

"_If you really want to know…You have to be prepared for _everything_. The good, the bad, the worst and the ugly. Understand?" _He had told her this in a serious tone that she would have never thought could come out of him. _"And…it might suck that you won't be able to prove anything…That you have to take their words at face-value…But, you trust them, right?"_

"_Yes. Of course I do." _She had answered quickly, without a second thought.

_"…Then you have to believe in every word they say. Even the sad stuff. Even the stuff that you _would _rather forget…If you want to know everything, you have to get everything. And demand no less, got it?" _He had paused then, looking away from her and at the screens. She had counted to ten before he spoke again. _"You got to take that plunge…And prepare yourself for hurt and sadness and joy and happiness. You want to know why they give you that look, right?"_

She had nodded, tears almost pricking the corners of her eyes. _"Then you have to be ready for everything."  
_  
_Anything. I have to be ready for everything and anything. No matter how sweet or sad. _Tifa steadied her breathing, realizing what a free-fall this would be. She would finally have her answers. She would _demand _them. Because she had a right to know. She had a right to know what happened. Swallowing a lump in her throat, she willed herself to be calm. _I won't leave until I get my answers, Cid. I don't care how bad it was. I want to know everything. I'm ready now._

She closed her eyes, knowing that the feeling of understanding, that feeling of all the locked doors opening, would be coming soon. _No matter what… _She took another deep breath. _I'm ready now, Cid. _

A closed fist pounded on the door; she had to be loud, because Cid had always been a heavy sleeper. _I want to know what you remember… _

Leon had walked over to every single look-out point and got the same response fourteen times. _So far…none of them have seen anything… _He frowned as he kept walking, pushing his mind to focus on the reports and only the reports. Because if he thought of anything else, it would go back to Yuffie and back to what he said and back to _that_, but this wasn't about _that_ so he had to stop thinking about it before it took over.

Exhaling loudly, he walked up the slight incline to do another round of checks. _…maybe…I…I was too…I shouldn't have… _He could feel the guilt and the words replaying in his mind and he _knew _that he shouldn't have said _that _to Yuffie, not her, because she was only trying to help and wasn't that what friends are for? His lip quivered and he squeezed his eyes shut to make it go away. He knew that he had to apologize. And he was sure Yuffie would understand because—

—_Oh, yes, she'll understand…Just like how Zell and Quistis will, right? Commander, you should know by now that people are much more complex than you think they are. _They _can't be solved with equations. A-squared plus B-squared won't always give you C-squared…Don't you know that?_

—_she just has to understand…_His frown softened as he walked. _I'll just explain that I was under a lot of stress…I was…I was worried about the tribe and…haven't been sleeping well and…and… …I just…don't deserve to have that hope anymore… _Leon forced the guilt aside and unclenched the fists he didn't know he was sporting. He blinked several times, walking quickly to the next look-out point. He would apologize. And that's that.

He heard the river and it took everything in him to ignore it. He could hear her clacking shoes and her persistent demand to dance, but he swallowed down that hope. It was too late for _that_. He would never deserve _that_. And even with everything that had he had deemed impossible becoming possible, _that_ couldn't be a possibility. Because that would make every decision he made wrong. It was too late to get what he wanted. For him to get _that _back. Because he had given up and turned away…And he didn't think his soul could take that again. He was too _weak_. Too _pathetic_ to face up to that again. That failure.

—_Coward._

Feet stopping, Leon stared at the ground until everything in his mind shut off. There would never be a time for his self-examination. Too many lives depended on him now. He couldn't keep pausing and thinking and becoming afraid of the possibilities because fear is what gets you killed. And he couldn't afford that right now because the Heartless were still at large. Because Yuffie was still mad at him. Because Zell and Quistis were waiting for his explanation. Because his duty wasn't finished yet and he still couldn't redeem himself—

A thick lump made it down his throat before he started walking again. Before another part of him could speak up to question the purpose of his life now, his routine, his expendable nature, what the point of all of this was, Leon called out to the three men at the look-out station. "Excuse me!"

The three natives turned to the sound and saw him. While two went back to their scanning, one jogged over to meet him halfway. The thought about a language barrier was dismissed when the Pohawtan spoke to him. "Yes, Leon?" There was a heavy accent and awkward pronunciation, but he could understand. At least the man's voice droned out all the others.

"Have you seen anything? Anything at all?" He asked his question slowly, just in case. And all the while, he kept his eyes off the water that was rushing past and focused in on the man's face. The dark skin. The dark eyes. The odd, angled cut of his hair. Anything that would keep his mind off everything else.

"No. Nothing." The native spoke curtly, shaking his head. Leon sighed.

"Are you sure? Nothing?" He tried again.

There was a pause and the native man looked out over the river that Leon refused to look at. Because he didn't need to hear her clacking shoes or see her face or be reminded of the tears in Yuffie's eyes. Because all of _that_ was testament to his failure, to all the things he couldn't have. Everything. And it didn't matter what he did now because nothing would override his words. Leon brought his mind to the present and saw the native man move his hand to point to the horizon, over to where the second healer was. "A storm. Coming soon, see?"

Realizing that the Pohawtan was expecting him to look, Leon grit his teeth and followed his outstretched finger. Over the water, over the grassy plains…He blocked out the sound of her question, the sound of her shoes, the sight of her tear-streaked face and took several deep breaths. He focused. Like he was trained to do. Like he was expected to do. And slowly, his eyes saw what the native was talking about. He could see dark clouds rolling around in the sky several miles out. "A…A storm…?"

"Yes." The man nodded, happy that the white man had understood.

Even though the sun was out and shining with the air warm, a chill ran through Leon. He pulled his eyes away from the storm brewing and focused back to the man in front of him. _There…There's something wrong with that storm… _The air didn't feel right, it didn't look right. As much as he didn't want to, his eyes went back to the dark clouds. He felt his heart pick up speed because there was something familiar with this feeling. But he couldn't pinpoint it. He knew there was something wrong, that there was something else…

"Anything…else you want to know?"

The man's voice jolted him out of his staring slightly. "No. No, that is all." He mumbled quickly but could not tear his eyes away from the river. _There's…something…not right…_ There was a squeeze in his chest, that feeling of dread, his heart pumping hard and fast against his ribs…

His ears were ringing at his next blink and it sounded like the flutes and the clarinets and the violins and someone had told him once that when your ears ring, it means someone is thinking about you and suddenly he saw _her_. What he had ignored before came to his eyes; he watched her walk over to him, over the water, hearing her clacking shoes and seeing the sparkling lights… _No…Please…_

"_You're th—…here…Dance with me?" _She smiled, face and body fuzzy and blotchy because he refused to make it clear.

_No…don't…make this harder than it already is… _He swallowed thickly, averting her eyes; his teeth hurt from clenching them together so hard and he could feel his stomach turn but he refused to let the acid surface. He looked past her face, because he didn't want to remember right now, and he watched the dark clouds move towards them, seeing them flicker with light…And he watched the ground become covered in shadows. There was something familiar about this part too.

…_Hyne! _His eyes widened and the two men who were still watching began to call out in their native tongue. He watched them grab their arrows and spears in slow motion and watched her smile at him with the Garden spinning around them. Leon turned to the man who had been talking to him and spoke quickly. His voice sounded too far away, but he didn't care. There was no time for that. The Heartless were coming. "I'll warn the rest of them! Stay here and keep firing! Get as many as you can! MOVE!"

He ran down the slight incline, kicking up dirt as he did so, turning his back and running away from her for a third time. It was all automatic; dodging and jumping and sliding and picking up his pace because he had to warn them. In the back of his mind, he heard the horns being blown, the warning signal, and he heard the rushing waters still. _Just keep moving. You need to get them ready. You can't be afraid now. _

Moving back the last branch, it took Leon a while to notice that he was back at the camp. It took him a second, perhaps a second too long, to notice that the Pohawtans were already scrambling around, getting their fire, their arrows, their spears, to launch their counter-attack. The horn's call was getting louder and the part of his brain that was still working told him it was because the other look-out stations had spotted them too.

Lionheart was drawn in his next movement and he moved out of the forest, closer to the middle of the camp. The natives were running around him, blurs of tan and beige and black, and while he wasn't focusing on their faces, there was one missing. _…Yuffie…?_

Time slowed, he blinked slowly, turning his head to the right. He could hear the blood pump into and out of his heart at every breath, could smell the start of the fires, the smoke, and as his eyes scanned the area around their tipi, he couldn't exhale because he didn't see the blur of white. _…Yuffie…? _

A scream was their last warning before the shadows came out of the forested area. Leon spun around, time being restored, Yuffie's face being lost in the sea of people, and raced to meet the shadows head-on.

The yellow eyes did not frighten him as he got close because with a smooth arc, they vanished in the blue flash of Lionheart's blade. He could hear the strings of the bows being stretched taut, he heard the release, and felt the fire-tipped arrows whip past him as the Pohawtans started their attack. _Yes. Fight. Just like that. Just like the plan._

_—Because that's all you have left, isn't it?_

Darkness swam around him, the ground turning black as the Heartless slipped into it. But he was patient. He would wait. With another swing and a cry, Lionheart's blade swiped again, wiping out three more of the shadows just as they resurfaced. His mind was numb, not thinking of anything…just rolling through different attack combinations he could use. Just taking in his surroundings and applying the best strategy. Encompassing all the variables to create the balanced equation, the desired outcome.

He turned and twisted his way around the Heartless, striking them as he passed. More and more fire moved around him, heating the air and making him sweat. But he kept his cool, his motions were fluid, and his mind just kept plugging in the numbers. When everything was automatic, when he couldn't feel the ground underneath him or the weight of Lionheart in his hands, he felt so detached from the situation. _…is this…all that I'm good for…? Just…to fight…?_

The long arm of a bigger shadow Heartless reached for him, but he dodged it, steel-blue eyes locking onto their next target. He was looking at the Heartless, but not really seeing it there. _…is this…all that I have left…? _Before he could blink, that pair of yellow eyes was gone. _…when there is no more hope…for the right ending...is there…a point…?_

Another twist, another jab, another turn and a lateral swing to decapitate four shadows, all coming within two heart beats and one exhale… _…is this…it? _He watched, absent-mindedly, as five arrows shot ahead of him and landed cleanly. He felt a Heartless scratch him, or at least, he was pretty sure that's what did it, because at that moment, he had never felt so…_lost_.

…_is there a point…when there's no one left to protect…? …when there's nothing left? _The attacking shadow was destroyed in Lionheart's next move and Leon took another two steps forward to slash at another. _…is this…it? _His heart was pumping loudly but his movements slowed. Since he had met _them_ he refused to be a pawn, he wanted to write his own destiny because he didn't believe in fate and all that pre-determined nonsense… because how could his actions, his _choice_, be fate? How could Zell and Quistis and Yuffie's tear-streaked face be fate? How could all of this suffering be his pre-determined life? _…unless…I was born…to be chased forever…to fail…to be alone, forever…_

He could almost feel his adrenaline levels dip, he could almost feel the epinephrine hormone stop working, because suddenly, it didn't matter, did it? Lionheart kept swinging, because his SeeD instinct refused to stop, but it didn't matter what his name was and what would happen next and what he would do with himself later…because what could be the reason for this? What could be the plan for him now? How much longer could he live like this? If he couldn't stop the Heartless from taking them away back then, if all of _that _and _this _was part of some grand scheme…What would happen after all of this, if getting what he really wanted was out of the picture...?

…_Squall…_

His heart squeezed and his bile and acid almost surfaced; the fire was too close, smoke and debris and the screams were too much… _Hyne… _He had to stop this. Or else, he would be in deep trouble because the shadows were starting to circle him, feeding off his anxiety, his fear, because fear was what gets you killed, right? He told himself to move, to whip through those equations to find the next best attack, but…but… _…what's left…when there's no one there?_

It took every ounce inside of him to start swinging again, his SeeD rationale speaking for the rest of him. _You…still have a duty. You made a commitment. Remember that. That's what you have to do. _Leon grit his teeth, pushed his heart aside and started swinging at the Heartless that got too close. Yellow eyes were unblinking, moving around him, and disappearing, all at once. _Keep focus. Keep focus. _But to his eyes, it just looked like one giant sea of black. Even the sky was dark; the sun, lost behind the clouds that gave a promise of rain. But darkness was all he really deserved, wasn't it?

_SQUALL!_

Would this be it? Would this be all he had left? More battles and fights and to keep losing the ones he wanted to keep? Just over and over and over and over again? To keep losing the ones he loved until everything he ever knew just faded into the background? To eventually just flip and buzz out and melt away from everything? Would it just fade away when the hope was gone? _…No. Keep focus. Not now._

The Heartless seemed to be multiplying at his feet."FIRAGA!" He cried out automatically, feeling the heat rush out of his fingertips and letting the fire spell wipe out a few more. In their place, however, more sprung up. _Keep focus. Keep focus. _Repeating his commitment in his head like a mantra, he kept swinging, moving through the sea of black as quickly as he could. _No. This does not end here. _

Fire and more fire came to him, flashing in his eyes, but he could not find the energy to get past the new wave of Heartless. If all he had left was to fade away…what would be the point? If he couldn't have the hope and the moments and the times he wanted, that he really, really wanted, should he just fade away now and get it over with?

_SQUALL!_

He blinked and barely realized that a finely-tipped weapon whipped past his face to get rid of the row in front of him. The darkness there vanished in his next blink. _...What...? _In a boomerang type motion, the weapon went around him in a semi-circle, back to its owner. There was something familiar about that…that_…Shuriken. Yuffie._

He had to look. He had to make sure she was okay. Because she was still mad at him and he still had to apologize. He couldn't die yet. This couldn't end now. _…I still…have work to do… _In the mass of black and tan and beige, he saw a blur of white, catching the spinning grey circle expertly. There was a pause. A quick pause, because he knew that she knew that every second counted when it came to war, when their eyes met across the dance floor. Two hard gazes of deep concentration and a quick nod were exchanged as time slowed down.

No, he couldn't die yet. He still had work to do. He still had to apologize. He still had to explain. He still had people to protect.

And these things would not take that away from him.

Not again.

With a flash of red, anger unleashed, Lionheart, gaining momentum from its owner's powerful arm, swept through the crowd of shadows, over and over and over again. Maximum damage inflicted. Maximum speed achieved. Leon's energy kept rising, his purpose renewed, slash after slash, horizontal slices, blurs of blue and back and red and white and for once—finally—she didn't come to mind when he fought like this.

In his fury, he could barely hear the roll of thunder from the black sky above him. He barely even noticed just how dark it had become. There was another clap and then, a blinding streak of yellow-white charge, striking the ground where the Heartless collected in front of him. Jumping back, and holding his stance, Leon felt a familiar tingle work through him. With his muscles on overdrive, anger and other emotions fuelling him, pressuring him to move, it was a wonder he managed to stay still and observe. There was something familiar about this. This feeling. This storm. He frowned, heart pumping, and looked up at the sky.

The dark clouds let out another thunderous roar before ten to twenty different lightning bolts struck down on the shadows. His eyes darted between the bolts and the landscape around him. The Pohawtans, equally as curious as he, were starting to look up…and he noticed that not one of them had been struck. _…what…? _

The Heartless scattered around him and while the next burst of static charge surprised and surrounded him, it did not strike him. He watched as the scene around him went white, as the bolts got close, as his body prepared to go into shock, but he did not feel any pain. As the flash of white died, he saw that the bolt itself was perfectly aimed for the darkness around him. It completely missed him, just leaving little smouldering piles of ashes around him. And around all the Pohawtans. There was another tingle. He knew this. This was very familiar to him. His heart slowed down and so did time.

Looking back at the camp, he watched as the lightning struck down the Heartless, twenty at a time. Each bolt punctuated with a clap of thunder. Each bolt accompanied by dissipating darkness, the release of the heart that each being held hostage…and as he watched the pinkish-red heart rise, Leon dimly wondered if any of those hearts belonged to _them_. After all the Heartless he had destroyed, had any of them contained the hearts of _them_? Ellone? Matron? Selphie? Nida? Xu? The odds were against him again and he couldn't imagine what he would do if it were true…so he forced himself to stop thinking about it. _No...Not now..._

More and more lightning bolts touched down. He watched them in slow motion, with varying sound and with half a mind. He was sure, by the principle of grounding charge, that the people around him, even if they would never be hit by the lightning, would have at least suffered from the dissipation of the charge from the earth. But not even that had occurred. He knew this. He knew why this storm wasn't obeying the laws of nature. It was right there. He knew that something wasn't right. _…what…?_

…_Squall…_

Fewer and fewer arrows were being fired and more eyes began to watch the sky instead. Light flashed all around them, highlighting their features and casting shadows on their faces. Each face, a mix of surprise and confusion, as they watched their enemy be struck down by the heavens. Hot wind blew across the camp, blowing hard, but only managing to lift the darkness off its feet.

It was strange, watching a battle between an invisible warrior and its opponent play out in front of them. Stranger still, was the fact that they were in the middle of a war, in the middle of a battlefield, and they could only stand by and watch Mother Earth wreck havoc on the darkness. With their weapons lowered, the Pohawtans stood, in awe, in confusion, in fear and in thanks.

…_Thundaga…_Leon blinked. He remembered. That was the spell. But it wasn't like the Thundaga spells they had now…it was bigger than that. It was like _their _spells. The next step up. He frowned at his epiphany. _Yuffie didn't call the storm… _Another crash of lightning and another twenty or so Heartless vanished. He didn't want to think about it, but his mind went back to the storm over by the second healer's land. _…the same…? _

His ears began to ring, but he wasn't sure if it was because of the continuous booms of thunder or because someone was thinking about him. His heart pounded in his chest as his mind refused to make the connection it wanted. _Yuffie didn't call the storm…she couldn't have…I've seen her Thundaga and it's nothing like this… _

Leon squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to look anymore. The reds under his eyelids turned white whenever another bolt came down but he refused to look. He clenched his teeth and forced himself to stop because it couldn't go back to _that_. He had a duty now. It was what he had to do. _That _was his purpose now. And it may not be what he really wanted, but that's okay, because Yuffie and Cid and Tifa and Cloud and Aerith and Sora all cared and it's just too late for him to get what he really wanted, anyway.

He just listened. He listened only to the thunder and the sound when the lightning hit the earth. He was not afraid that a Heartless would take advantage of his prone position because he knew that the bolts were meant to destroy all of them. So, he stood there. Listening. Refusing to do anything else. Because if he did anything else, it would go back to _that_. The sounds were loud enough to distract him from what he wanted, and that was fine, because he gave up on what he wanted a long time ago, he gave up on that hope and there was no going back.

There was suddenly a pause in the noise. There was silence. It was strange, to hear nothing, after all of that. Confusion set in, and steel blue eyes opened, immediately looking skywards. It was almost timed to perfection; when he looked up, a drop of water fell on him, trailing down the length of his scar. _…R—Rain…?_ Then another. And another. When a drop fell into his eye, he blinked hard and brought his eye level down.

The clouds opened and heavy rain began to fall on the empty campgrounds, quenching the smouldering fires where all the bolts had hit.

…_Squall…_

* * *

OMG. I AM SO SORRY, AGAIN.

School sucks. Especially at a third-year level University degree.

Writer's block also kinda sucks.

I just hope that you all have enough in you to forgive me and my MONTHLY update. (heavy sigh) I am ashamed. ^^ Well, hope my parallels between Leon's duty and his real desires were clear and all that. Poor guy. I thoroughly enjoy talking in math/science terms. Especially for Leon's mindset. It's fun. Hope you enjoyed it all!!

PLEASE REVIEW!

* * *


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!): **Your comments make me happy!

Just a quick survey…How many of you guys have read Leon? (this is just out of curiosity)

* * *

Her teeth were chattering and Yuffie instinctively pulled the blanket tighter against her body. She was soaked. _What a torrential rainstorm! I've never seen it rain so hard! _A fat water droplet dripped off the tip of her bangs and landed on the blanket. _I was just out there for a few seconds…_

The rain was beating hard against the tipi and the ninja could only hope the structure could take it. _Well, _she mused, _at least the lightning stopped. _Yuffie pursed her lips together to stop her teeth from banging together as she thought of the lightning. She knew it wasn't real lightning. It was Thundaga. And maybe an Aero. But it was one that she had never seen before. More powerful than hers, by far; she could only brag about being that good. _But then…who?_

She shivered for a moment, thinking back to the strength and accuracy of the lightning. _…maybe…Sora? Could Sora be here? Could he have gotten that powerful already? _She frowned and pulled the blanket closer for more warmth. _Hmm…I doubt that. I don't even think Sora could make the entire sky black. …Maybe Donald? Maybe that magical duck really does have tricks up his sleeve… _Another pause, and she dismissed that guess too. _…but Thundaga, even at its most powerful, is hardly _that _accurate…and besides, what are they doing here anyway? They don't have this Block…_

She didn't like being confused. _And I highly doubt Mother Earth had _anything _to do with this… _Exhaling sharply, she decided to stop thinking about it and concentrate on getting warm. Pocahontas had left the tipi a few minutes earlier to get a set of dry clothes for the both of them. Although, Yuffie had to wonder what was taking her so long and how she would be able to keep the clothes dry in weather like this.

Rubbing her shoulders from underneath the blanket, Yuffie kept her eyes on the floor of the tipi. She stared at her feet. At the grass. At the dirt. She counted the pebbles that littered the area around her as she waited. She even thought about the lightning again. And the rain. She did everything so that she wouldn't look up and see _his _empty bed or think about the _real _reason she was there, soaking wet, in a tipi. She wouldn't because she refused to think about—_Ah! NO! Don't say his name!_

Even though her body was cold, Yuffie's anger still burned. She refused to think about _him _and _that _and even his _name _because all of that didn't mean anything. If it didn't mean anything to him, then it didn't mean anything to her. _And I can do just fine without him! _She looked up and frowned at the empty bed, wanting to mess up the immaculate sheets and rip them to shreds. _And he can freeze! I don't care! _She really meant to do it, but she didn't want to upset the Pohawtans by ruining their sheets.

_If the idiot-who-can't-be-named doesn't think highly of me or any of us back home…then…then, he can just…just…crawl in a hole and bury himself! _Deep down, her mind told her, the fact was that she would care if he did crawl into a hole and died. After all, her mind pushed, why else would she have sent her shuriken out to save him if she didn't care? _—No! I don't care. So don't tell me otherwise! _Yuffie scolded herself. She trembled, but knew it wasn't because of the temperature.

Yuffie's lip quivered as the exchange of words moments before the attack replayed in her head. _No…No, I don't care about him…because…because he doesn't…and he never will…care about me like he cared about them… _There was an emptiness inside her that suddenly surfaced at her tear-ducts. She told herself not to cry over _him _because he wasn't worth it. He wasn't worth the trouble. _If…If he—he wants to be…unhappy…and miserable…then fine! I won't…I won't…_

Tears slipped down her cheeks and onto the blanket. The anger she had at the moment the argument happened had stopped her tears before because the words hadn't sunk in yet. The ensuing battle froze them in their tracks because she couldn't fight with blurry vision. But now, when the dust had settled, and she had nothing else to think about, the tears came. Because she had just lost a friend… _…if I can even call him that…_

All this time they had been together…it meant nothing to him? That it was just the best he could get at the moment? She was a good person and a good friend; sure, she could be annoying and would routinely take things without asking and she was weird and too loud and too talkative…but…but… _…how could…he say that…? _Her thoughts ended in another sob. _…why can't he just…let it go…and have hope again…? Why does he put himself through that…? It's not fair! Why can't he see what I've done? What I have to live with? It's not fair!_

Another roll of thunder came from the clouds and Yuffie barely realized the door flap had opened. "Yuffie! The luck I have!" Pocahontas' voice was nearly drowned out by the sound of the rain, but Yuffie quickly wiped the tears out of her eyes and looked up.

The native woman quickly dropped the dry, clean clothes on the empty bed in front of her and kept talking. "The last time the white men came, they had traded with us…I have never used these clothes before, but now that all the usual ones are wet we can get some use out of these ones…" _She'll feel more comfortable in clothes that come from the Land Across the Waters, that is for sure… _Pocahontas' spirits were high; not even the rain could dampen them. Mother Earth herself wiped out the threat and there were no casualties this time around!

Pocahontas put the blanket that she had been using as a shield on the floor before turning to her petite friend, continuing her optimistic train of thought. "Isn't that great—?" Her enthusiasm was lost abruptly when she noticed the red eyes. "…Yuffie?"

Suddenly, Yuffie just didn't care anymore. And she began to cry.

"Oh! Yuffie!" In a second, Pocahontas had thrown her arms around Yuffie's shoulders and cradled her. And as the petite woman cried against her, Pocahontas' optimism dropped into her stomach.

_The sadness…is still here… _She had thought that the sadness she had felt in her dreams was from the fear of the illness taking over the tribe. And now that the threat had been eliminated twice, she thought it was over and that the dreams were fulfilled. … _But…Yuffie still cries …And Leon…Leon is still the same…and the healer…_

Pocahontas supposed it was foolish how quickly she had assumed it was over. Drawing circles on Yuffie's back to calm her, she held her compassionately until her sobs had stopped. Pulling her face upwards so that their eyes could meet, Pocahontas spoke quietly. "Yuffie…? What's…What's wrong?"

The smaller girl sniffed before burying her head back onto Pocahontas' shoulder. Knowing that she wasn't going to get a response, Pocahontas tried again. "Yuffie, please…What happened?" She knew it was Leon who was making her upset, since everyone at the camp had heard her indignant cry of hatred for the man. _…and she had called him…Squall…_

An answer was mumbled against her collarbone and the native woman sighed. "Yuffie. I can't understand—"

"—I hate him." Yuffie repeated, a little louder, followed by another sob.

"No…No, that's not true. You don't hate him. You're just angry with him." Pocahontas quickly replied, threading her fingers through Yuffie's matted hair to soothe her.

"Fine then. I'm angry with him. Whatever." Most of the sentence was mumbled, but Pocahontas got the gist of it. There was another silence, just the rain pounding steadily in the background, until another questions was asked.

"…Why?"

_Because…Because Leon can't…he can't let go. And he can't see that he isn't the only one… _Yuffie pressed her lips together, not wanting to divulge in the information about other worlds and what the illness was really trying to do because it would probably freak Pocahontas out and would _definitely _break the code they made with King Mickey. There was another long pause before she could find the right words. "…Because…he still doesn't get it…"

"…He doesn't get what?" Pocahontas prodded further. She spoke very carefully, not wanting to send Yuffie into another bout of tears.

"He…He doesn't understand that he's not the only one. He thinks…that because I still see the people that I lost…that we can't relate. And that I would never understand." _But…what good is being able to see them, Aerith and Cloud and Tifa, when they are only shadows of their former selves? When I know that I can't get them back…the real them…when I can't get those moments back...because they're here now and pretending…And he…still has the hope…that they can be out there…okay and the same… _Yuffie wiped her eyes before continuing.

"…But, I still lost people. And it's not the same for me either. He doesn't get that it's hard for me too and it's not fair that he can be all moody about it when I have to smile… …Even—Even after all of this, all my effort and time, he still can't see that. So now…it seems…pointless. Everything. It all amounted to nothing, Pocahontas…" The volume of Yuffie's voice did not rise, but she finally looked up from her shoulder. "…I'm no friend to him. Everything…was a lie…a big, pointless diversion…and I feel so stupid…"

"No! No! Don't say that!" Pocahontas interjected to stop her. "That's not true. You are not stupid. And you are his friend. Sometimes, we say things that we don't mean…"

"He seemed pretty serious about it." Yuffie mumbled, looking away again.

The native woman let out a sigh. "But that was the first time he has ever spoken to you like that, right?"

"…Yeah…"

"Well…then…I'm sure his anger was not directed at you. You said so yourself that he had trouble sleeping…and maybe, he was not feeling like himself…"

_But why would he say _that_? Why couldn't he just be normal and tell me to go away or swear at me or punch a wall? _"…Whatever…" Yuffie muttered. "It doesn't matter now, anyway."

"No, Yuffie…it does…still matter…" Pocahontas looked down at the top of Yuffie's head, feeling guilty about the whole scenario. _My dreams…their sadness……Should I have said something earlier…? About everything I know about their coming? Their arrival? The healer…? _"Y—Yuffie?"

"What…?"

Noticing the tone in Yuffie's voice, Pocahontas took a deep breath and decided to get it out. "I've had dreams about you two."

From her perspective, the native could only see the skin of Yuffie's forehead crinkle in confusion. There was no verbal response, so she continued. "I've…had dreams of your arrival…before you even came here… …In those dreams…I felt a great sadness…and I kept seeing the river that leads to the second healer…So…So I know that there was a reason for you to come here…It is not pointless. You were meant to come here. And…I think it is to solve the mystery of the healer…"

She felt Yuffie shift in her embrace. "I know that it's hard now…but there's still something else. Something else is going to happen. That illness…was one thing…but because the healer was not involved…not yet…there must be something else…Something to do with you and Leon…" Pocahontas's volume kept getting lower and lower, "…and the woman from across the river…"

_Woman…? _Yuffie looked up at Pocahontas, waiting a few seconds to let her story sink in. "You…never mentioned that the healer was a woman before…" Suddenly, she moved out from her friend's hug and sat upright in front of her. Her eyes were dry at the moment the conversation switched gears."What—What else do you know about her?! You've _seen _her before, haven't you?!"

"…I…I am sorry for lying to you…about what I know." Pocahontas looked away from Yuffie, guilty that she hadn't brought it up sooner. But Yuffie could only smile softly at her. _If only I could apologize to _you _about my lies…_ "No one else knows what I know about her…and even that is very little…"

"…So…you think we're here to get her out of her island over there?" Yuffie asked quietly. Another roll of thunder was heard before Pocahontas nodded at the question.

"I think…Leon needs to see her…if he ever wants to get better…"

Yuffie's heart nearly jumped out of her chest. Already, her mind was making loose connections and making the information fit into what she wanted. _Zell…Zell said that she was a Sorceress…a powerful Sorceress…so, if she had retained her powers…then…! Oh! Squall! _"Oh! We have to find him! We have to go!"

She scrambled out from underneath the blanket and pulled back the door flap. She was going to race out into the rain when Pocahontas' voice stopped her. "No…No Yuffie. Wait."

"What? …Why?! You're totally right! He does have to see her!"

"I think…Leon has to do it himself…if he ever wants to get better…" Two pairs of dark eyes met, each showing sadness. "He needs to realize his error of his grief by himself…And…he is…he is probably already there…"

Yuffie took a step closer to Pocahontas, letting the door flap close behind her. "What…do you mean…?"

"He is where he has to be."

* * *

He was at the point where he couldn't feel anything anymore.

The rain had soaked him, through his jacket, his shirt, his pants, his boots…the wind was what made him cold. But he didn't bother to get shelter.

Because he was going to understand.

So there, he stood, at the banks that overlooked the river, staring at the raindrops that hit the surface of the water. His boots had sunken into the soft earth at the banks, which was now a muddy, grassy mess. But none of that mattered. What mattered now was what he knew for certain. _That storm…was from her. It had to be. It has to be._

—_Don't you think it's a little too late for that?_

…_Why? Why…can't I…have that hope?_

—_Because you don't deserve it, Commander. Remember, you're the one who gave up on them, happy to believe that they had been dead all this time…You're the one who abandoned them. And besides, what if you're wrong, hmm? You'll be as lost as you were the day Ellone left…And isn't that what you wanted to avoid in the first place?…because you'll have nothing. More wrong choices; is that what you want? _

…_But…why can't…? _Leon swallowed thickly, clenching and unclenching his fists. His mind noticed that it always seemed to be raining when people left him. It was raining the day Ellone left. There was a storm when the Heartless took them away…More and more raindrops soaked through his hair and trailed down his skin as he stood.

—_What makes you think she wants to see you anyway?_

…_Because…she's…she's…_There was a roll of thunder and the passage of lightning through the clouds, illuminating the sizes and shapes of them. His thought died as he was reminded of the size of the bolts that had touched down before, how they spider-webbed on the ground to strike down the darkness. And he knew that that type of Thundaga was not known outside his Garden. _It has…It has to be…_

—_Fine then, Commander…Go ahead and jump. Swim over to her. And if you're wrong, maybe you can ask the healer to make it all fade away. Or maybe, if you're lucky, the river will take you…And your name and who you are and what you did won't matter anymore…All you hard work, all your abandonment won't matter…_

Steel blue eyes looked up and glanced at the horizon. The water stung when it hit his face, but he was beyond the point of feeling. _…what did I do…to make it this way…?_

—_You failed. You failed them, that's what you did. So jump._

His heart squeezed and he thought of Yuffie. Because he shouldn't have said that. He should have apologized to her first instead of coming here because at least he _knew _what he had to do for that path. Here, he was just standing, wide-open for any attack. _…Yuffie… _Another wrong choice.

—_You don't deserve her forgiveness either, you know. Looks like you were meant to be alone, doesn't it? Looks like you can't do anything right…_

The wind picked up, but it was not able to drown out the voices in his head, and her question, and the flutes and the clarinets and the violins and her tear streaked face…_Have I not…suffered enough…? Why do they…why does this…haunt me…like this? _He swayed on his feet a little bit, his feet still stuck in the mud. His head dropped into his chest because he was so tired. So tired of everything. Tired of everything and everyone that didn't matter anymore. So tired because he hadn't been sleeping well over the last couple of days and because he still couldn't get this out of his head and because he no longer had a purpose…

—_That's right. You don't. All you hard work paid off, didn't it? …So jump._

And if he had to sleep forever to have peace…to be with them…If he had to melt and fade away into the background to get any peace, to understand, to get out of this…then so be it. Maybe he'd finally see them again. No more pretending. No more guessing. No more of anything.

—_And that's all you really deserve._

Leon took a step forward.

He couldn't really feel the fall. He didn't feel his stomach push up into his chest. He didn't feel the sting of the water when he landed, or the current that pushed him hard in the direction of downstream. But he was past the point of feeling, wasn't he?

His eyes opened from under the water and it didn't surprise him that his eyes didn't sting. He just watched the black sky whisk past him through underwater, blurry vision. He saw all the distortions from the raindrops but he wasn't really looking. Because that didn't matter. He blinked slowly but kept staring up, watching the bubbles that escaped his lips rise, wondering how long it would take for his lungs to give out. Twenty seconds, maybe? He wondered how painful it would be to breathe in water, to die drowning, to know, without doubt, that no Curaga could bring him back.

The water rushed past him and he began to feel light-headed and dizzy. _…is this…it? _He wondered how far the water pushed him and where he was exactly, but that wouldn't matter soon. Nothing would. And all of _this _and _that _would fail to exist, along with all the pain and shame they brought, all the broken promises that he couldn't keep…it would all just fade away. And that would be it.

He could feel his heart pumping hard, circulating oxygen-deprived red blood cells to his body, hoping that his lungs would expand soon because there was too much carbon dioxide floating around in his blood. He figured that he would probably die of asphyxiation before his blood pH would mean anything…He wondered why he thought of this while he watched the blurry sky...while his ears whistled with static noise. Was he going to die? Would this be the very best he could do? Would this be…_it_?

But, he couldn't die yet. He had been through this before. Dying would not bring them back. He couldn't die yet. It wasn't acceptable. He made a commitment and it wasn't over; his duty to the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee and to Sora wasn't over yet. He still had to apologize, he still had to explain. He still hadn't redeemed himself for his failure, but now, he wondered, how much would he have to do to redeem himself at this point? With Yuffie? With them? And when would his duty be complete? And what would happen after that?

—_There is nothing you can do now that will override your failure._

His duty. It was still important to him because it was what kept him alive in the first place. But what happens after the duty if Yuffie would never look at him again? If he still couldn't get what he wanted? Because wasn't it his duty that kept him away from what he really wanted in the first place? That _choice_? _…I…I…_

…_I'll be here…_

Leon's SeeD training refused to give him his watery grave as the need for oxygen became too much. His body jerked up automatically, breaking the surface of the water and his limbs made circles to keep himself afloat. He sucked in air greedily, coughing and sputtering out the water he managed to inhale. _But…what do I really…want? _The rain had slowed, coming down in a light drizzle. _…and…what do I…deserve?_

—_You deserve to just fade away._

The clouds were breaking and he could almost see the moon from behind their thinning form. Keeping himself afloat took more out of him than it should and Leon found himself struggling against the current. He couldn't see the banks from the camp anymore…but the little island where she asked him to dance was closer.

And he stared. He stared for a long time at the sandy shores that were close. He was reminded of the orphanage…the lighthouse…where Ultimeacia had put up her floating castle…His heart squeezed and it hurt. It hurt. It burned. But everything else was numb. _…why…? Why…is it real now? _His limbs began to move him towards the shore because this was all he had left, wasn't it? He was cold, he was dizzy and everything was getting out of focus, but this Thundaga uncertainty was the only thing that kept him going, now that he knew that Yuffie would never forgive him. _…why…?_

…_I'll be 'waiting' here…_

The water levels around him got shallower and shallower and he was finally able to stand. Water sloshed around him as he walked, with ragged breaths, as his mind went quiet. He was cold. Freezing. And he could barely hear the violins and the clarinets and the flutes because he had too much water in his ears. But that didn't matter now. The silence did. Because he was going to understand. He _had _to. Because he couldn't do this anymore. If he couldn't live by his duty…and if he couldn't live with _them_ and _there_ and _him_ and _her_…then…then…

…_I'll be waiting…for you…so…_

The tall grass, pieces that were almost waist high, was soggy and spongy under his feet as he swaggered up the slow incline. He felt the stems of the wildflowers get crushed under his boots and part of him wanted to see what colours they were but then again, the moon wouldn't be bright enough to show him. And what would colour matter if all it would do was melt away?

He was tired. And he wondered what was keeping him upright. And he wondered where exactly he was. And he wondered what he would do when he woke up again. Would he keep lying? Would he keep walking around in circles? Would he ever deserve this dream? Would he deserve Yuffie? Or death? Would he ever be able to explain himself after all of this? After all the time he spent caught up in a lie?

…_If you come here…_

The darkness around him was dimly illuminated by the moon that was still hidden behind the clouds…looking, but not really seeing, he suddenly remembered time compression. And that vast darkness. That void. The bottomless space. And how lost he was. And how no matter how loudly he called for them, they never came. And how alone he was at that point. And how afraid. _…Hyne… _Was that just a taste of what his future would always be? That darkness? That solitary confinement when he wasn't really alone at all?

—_Looks like you were meant to be alone._

And then her face, spinning around him, with the Garden melting and the lights flickering and the violins playing, asking him the same question and looking over her shoulder over and over and over and over again. And when he got too close, she faded away. And then came back. And then melted away. And then came back...

And then the feather came.

…_You'll find me…_

A gust of wind passed through the grass, chilling him to the bone. His eyes looked around him, the SeeD part of him, because that's all he really had left, trying to find out where he was, trying to gather all the information so that his next step could quickly be calculated; his eyes vaguely saw the open field, vaguely saw a hut in the distance and vaguely saw a figure standing. Everything was suddenly very quiet and he couldn't even be sure if his ears were ringing because someone was thinking about him or because the music was playing.

His vision blurred, sliding in and out of focus as he realized that he wasn't alone. Instead of listening to his SeeD instinct that was telling him to grab onto Lionheart, he stood still, rooted in one spot, open to any attack. Because all of that stuff didn't matter anymore. All that stuff about SeeD and duty didn't matter anymore because he had failed at that too many times. So he stood.

And watched as she finally turned around.

…_I promise…_

And watched as their eyes met across the dance floor.

She didn't skip. She didn't repeat. She finally turned around, after standing in the field of the purple and the pink and the white and the yellow flowers. She finally turned around, after waiting in the fields behind the orphanage where they had promised to meet. _…Rinoa…_He watched her pale face, lit up and shadowed by the moon, change from surprise to shock to elation. He noticed that she wasn't wearing her champagne coloured dress, but that was okay, because that didn't matter right now.

Because he could see her again.

This part couldn't be a dream, he rationalized. Because in his dreams, he never got to see her face. Because in his dreams, she never turned around in time. Because in his dreams, he would have definitely woken up by now. _…R…Rinoa… _

…_I promise…_

His mouth was dry and he still couldn't move. He couldn't feel his chest rise or fall. He couldn't hear his heart beat. He dimly wondered if he was dead. He wondered if he was in Hell already, or wherever people like him went, because being able to see her and not get any closer would be punishment enough. His eyes focused on her. Memorizing her surprised face and the tears welling in her eyes. Hoping, with whatever he had left, that she would be able to touch him. He hoped that he could touch her again before he exploded into a million pieces. Before the yellow eyes took him away.

What a torture it would be to feel her get close and then have that feeling ripped away from his fingertips… _Rinoa… _So he didn't move. Because he was afraid that if he did, this would be over. That this would be it. That she would break into a million pieces because he didn't deserve to be near her anymore. That this would be the closest he could get. He didn't move. He stared, unflinching, not wanting this moment to end. Because this was one of those moments he could never get back. He didn't move.

But suddenly, she did.

Arms outstretched, tears trailing down her round cheeks, hair and the tails of her blue sleeveless jacket flapping in the cold air, she ran to him. His eyes widened as he saw her picture get closer and closer, not fading, not breaking, not skipping or repeating…_…is this…real…? _He saw her get closer, watching the grass bend out of her way, watching her shadow move. He felt his body tremble and his arms raised slightly, just in time to catch her embrace.

When he felt her warm pressure on his chest, shocking him with the temperature difference, he was dimly aware of the soft thudding of her heart between them… He could feel her sobs and tears as she cried against him…and as she repeated his _name _over and over and over again into his chest, gripping his damp shirt and jacket, he noticed that it was only her voice, not Yuffie's or Aerith's or Tifa's or anyone else's because that part was the lie, that graced his ears… Squall knew that this couldn't be a dream because he never heard her voice before in his dreams. Because he never felt her heartbeat before or the expansion of her lungs_…Rinoa… _Because he could never prove that she was alive in his dreams...

Because he would have definitely woken up by now.

* * *

=) So, how many of you saw THAT one coming? THE BIG SECRET OF THE HEALER IS REVEALED! (and yes, it IS real…Squall isn't losing it)

Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this installment. Um, expect MAJOR delays in the updating category with all my school-work beginning to pile up. BUT DON'T WORRY, this story WILL be finished and I will not stop writing it. And trust me, it ain't over yet!

PLEASE REVIEW!


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!): **Your comments make me happy! THANK YOU!

* * *

He wasn't sure how long they had been standing, with her crying into his already wet shirt, but there was a point when his legs gave into his fatigue and they had dropped into a kneeling position. Squall eyes still weren't focusing and he wasn't even aware it had happened, but the throb in his kneecaps told him that it was all very real.

Rinoa's body radiated heat onto his and slowly, his cold limbs got their feeling back. His arms instinctively tightened around her torso, bringing his body flush against hers. He held her as she cried, blinking slowly, listening to her sobs and his _name_ being repeated but Leon was waiting for it. He was waiting for the image to fuzz out or melt away and the moment where he would wake up underwater because he couldn't really believe it and he wasn't sure if he could be allowed this happiness.

Because what had he done to deserve it? He had yelled at Yuffie, broken their friendship…he had abandoned _them _and _there _and everything else to do with them and _that_…So Leon waited, not wanting to give in because he didn't want to wake up feeling foolish again. He didn't want to wake up thinking that this was all real. Because he couldn't face that disappointment again. That failure. But, he could feel her heartbeat…_…isn't…that…proof enough?_

He took a shaky breath in and squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that this would be here when he woke up. But even if it wasn't, he would be happy to close his eyes forever if it meant having this moment back. If it meant staying in this moment forever. Just this. And nothing else. His grip tightened, not wanting to ever let go. Not again.

Leon rested his chin on the crown of Rinoa's head, stroking her hair and felt her grip on his shirt tighten and listened as her sobs finally quieted. _…Hyne…Rinoa…Rinoa. Rinoa. Rinoa. Rinoa._ Squall patted her back comforting and slightly resisted her want to move out of the tight embrace. It took him a few seconds to realize that she was moving so his action of lowering his arms was a bit delayed.

She, however, was still moving faster. Leon felt his shoulders being grabbed and the shake she gave him, but he didn't open his eyes. _…please…don't fade…away…Not now…don't… _He had never felt so afraid to open his eyes, but didn't Seifer tell him once that fear was what gets you killed? And wasn't this what he wanted in the first place? This moment?

"S—Squall…?"

Her voice echoed in his head, in a way it never did in his dreams. He heard the urgency in her voice and could not refuse her. Because what kind of Knight would do that? Squall trembled slightly after her shaking, resisting it, but slowly opened his eyes. He was sure his heart stopped then because suddenly, there was no sound. Just her face. Just as it would be if she had aged seven years. It was still there. It was still clear. He counted to ten and trembled again when she didn't fade away. _Hyne…Hyne…Rinoa. Rinoa. She's…_

His breathing picked up as their eyes met. Hers were red and puffy from crying, cheeks and dark lashes wet…but with a determination inside the dark brown irises. _Rinoa… _Squall watched as she mustered up her courage, watching her neck and shoulders tense and relax, but he didn't have to wait long before she acted. She was still moving faster than him. Her eyes locked with his and he watched as her lips trembled a little.

"Say my name."

Her voice was loud and clear and for once, she didn't ask him to dance or if he had forgotten. It was strange to hear her say anything but that, and his heart jumped out of his chest. This part had to be real. It had to be. He never heard her voice in his dreams. This moment had to be real. His heart pounded, almost begging him to take this in at face-value.

Because that's all he really wanted, right? Because this is what _that _had been about, hadn't it? This moment?

—_Say it. Say it. Say it. Say it. Say it. Say it. Say it._

Squall's mind was still delayed, his body still moving slower than usual and it wasn't until new tears came to Rinoa's eyes that he realized he hadn't answered her yet. _…Rinoa… _He tried to hurry, tried to get his nerves to fire and recollect and answer the question before she cried again, but it felt like a quicksand. _…R—Rinoa…wait…_

"…Please…Say my name. Please, say it." She repeated, tone desperate, mouth quivering, tears threatening to fall again. _Please…Please…Please…don't tell me you're here but they've already taken you away! _"What's my name, Squall?!" She practically screamed, pitch rising, gripping his shirt again.

_Why…would she ask me…something as trivial…as her name…? _He blinked slowly as another strong gust of wind blew past them. She was still waiting, clinging onto her own hope and was about to start crying again when his mouth remembered how to talk. When the signal finally went through. "Rinoa…Rinoa Caraway…but you liked…Heartilly better…"

At his answer, he watched her eyes light up, her lips curl into the briefest of smiles, and a fresh wave of tears trail down her cheeks. In an instant, she brought herself flush against him, clutching at him and crying. Squall, as quickly as he could, wrapped his arms around her tightly, and closed his eyes again.

Yes, this was what he wanted. Just this. And nothing else.

It was another long moment before her sobbing stopped. It was another long moment after that before she slowly pulled away from him. "S—Squall…Oh…Hyne…" Rinoa whispered, sniffling, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "Squall…Squall…I can't…I can't believe…"

His eyes opened briefly, to catch the sight of her mouth fumbling with words, moving between a smile and shock. "Oh Hyne…I can't…Oh!" Flustered with her inability to put her thoughts into words, she simply threw her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. She was still moving too fast for him, and all he could see was a blur. But she was there, wasn't she? This part wasn't in his memories, so it must be happening now, right?

Squall tightened his grip around her when he heard her whisper into his shoulder with a sad tone. "I must be dreaming again…"

Swallowing thickly, he leaned towards her ear, surprising himself with the sound of his own voice and the quickness of his words. "No…You can't be…Because that means…that I am too…And I—I…I don't want to dream anymore…"

"…Squall…"

He kept his head steady, staring at the top of her hair, and took a deep breath. He had to know. He had to be sure. He still had doubt and his skepticism and his belief that this couldn't be happening because then the schedule would be upside down and wrong and that _choice _wouldn't be right and besides, people like him didn't deserve this type of happiness. "…So please…tell me this is real…"

Rinoa pulled away from him and looked right at him. Squall felt his lips move as he kept talking, but could barely hear himself. But that didn't matter anymore, did it? He had the moment back, he had _her _now, and isn't that what he had always wanted? From the very beginning? "…Please…tell me…" As compelling as all the evidence was, he had to be sure. "…tell me…that I'm not dead…"

He adverted his eyes, feeling guilty, feeling foolish, for sounding so weak. But he had to be sure. He had to remove all doubt that this wasn't real. Because how could he trust his senses when he hadn't been sleeping well over the last couple of days? And how could he be so sure if he had been through too many lies and false visions already? Always waking up when he thought he could keep his happiness? Squall's eyes dropped to the grass and to her legs, since they were both still kneeling with their knees touching. He noticed that her skin was bare, and still pale, and he absentmindedly wondered why she didn't have goose bumps with the cold wind around them.

"Squall. Look at me."

Again, he couldn't refuse her with that tone. Instantly, his eyes shot up and they stared at each other for some time. He had never seen her look so sad or so in focus or so clear. Another wind blew and Rinoa tucked the stray hairs behind her ear before smiling a small smile at him. He noticed then that her hair was shorter, just reaching her shoulders, and that the caramel streaks she had had in her bangs had washed out. _Rinoa… _She gently took his hands in hers, and he immediately felt a rush of heat spread through his palm.

"Squall." She repeated, looking his face over. _He seems…so…lost…_Both of their breathing rates were slowing down, the shock dwindling. "…I'm happy you're here." Her voice, coming out small and quiet, was almost drowned out by the wind. "…I'm happy…that I got to see you again…"

Squall nodded at her statement, pushing every doubt, every question, out of his mind at the sound of her voice…at the sight of her face at that moment. He was having a conversation with her. He could feel her heartbeat. The equation with too many variables was being filled, and his heart told him to stop thinking about it so much and to just believe that the woman he loved was in front of him for real and that he had found her and that finally, for once, he could happy and that he could get what he wanted.

He stopped thinking about it. The equation stopped filling in without being balanced on both sides. He stopped thinking about _that _and _them _and _there _and all the other things from the _other_ place that didn't matter right now. There was a pause before he felt his heart swell. He felt that rush of hope come back, which was almost a foreign feeling, the very thing he had been repressing all this time because he thought he didn't deserve it. Because the duty that he could no longer recall, and all of _that _and _them _and _those _promises had stopped him before, hadn't they? _Rinoa…_The picture with sound came back clearly and he listened, not really noticing that the flutes and the clarinets and the violins had stopped playing a long time ago.

"And…you can't be dead…" She continued after a pause, her voice catching his interest, "…Because that…just wouldn't be fair…" Rinoa leaned in close and gave him a peck on the lips. He watched her move with regular speed and almost forgot to close his eyes. The kiss was brief and he could barely feel it; everything was still numb and empty as everything that led up to this point was forgotten. When she pulled away, they both exhaled slowly and stared at each other again. Another pause passed and she gave him a small smile again. "…You're cold."

"I know." He mumbled to her, saying the first thing that came to his mind, watching as she slowly began to stand. Her boots were black, and went up to her knees, with dark grey laces that sometimes skipped a hole or two. Whatever was left of her blue sleeveless jacket was attached in two strips to the sides of her belt and up across her bust. And that belt looked familiar. But he couldn't remember where he had seen it from.

But those little things didn't matter. All those little things like how he had gotten there and what he had said and what had kept him away. And neither did the big picture. Nothing else. Not what he would do or what he would say or what would happen after this moment…It was just this moment.

She was there. He could see her again.

Rinoa.

And nothing could take that away from him. Not his duty. Not his schedule. Not _them_. Nothing.

She stared down at him expectantly for a few seconds before holding out her hand. "Come on. Up!" She wiggled her fingers at him, asking him to take hold of her hand so that she could help him stand. Slowly, their hands met, and Squall felt another rush of heat before he was hoisted to his feet. At his full height, he was half a head taller than she was, so Rinoa looked up at him, smiling again. "Come on. You're cold…"

Still holding his hand, she squeezed the tips of his fingers. With everything else gone, he let himself remember about her. He remembered that her hand's motion was a habit she used to do when she thought he was nervous. Feeling that pressure, he quickly reversed their hand's positions and squeezed back. They stood there silently, studying one another, memorizing every detail…before Rinoa gently pulled him forward. "Come on…I have…I have to show you something…"

His feet felt like dead-weights as she lead him slowly through the tall grass. With his free hand, he held it out to touch the blades, to make sure that they were solid, just in case. She kept turning back to him, looking over her shoulder over and over and over again, just to be sure that he was following. _…Rinoa… _Was this it? Was this reality? Was this what he had been looking for?

—_Tell me why it took you so long._

"…See Squall? …Over there…" Her voice came back to him and he ignored the other that managed to slip through. It was then that Squall noticed the medium sized dwelling, constructed from wood and nails and decorated at the base with weeds and flowers of varying shades of moonlight. He heard the grass crunch under their feet as they walked closer to the wooden house.

He looked at her, staring at her profile under the moon. "Rinoa…Where…?"

She turned, another small smile on her lips. "This is where I live…Do you like it?" She stopped walking a few steps in front of the house and turned to face him. "I had some help…but I did set up most of it. Nice place, huh?"

Squall blinked twice, eyeing the house and all its uneven floorboards and loose nails on the outside surface. He simply nodded to her, smiling a little at the enthusiasm he remembered. He wondered where she got the nails and the pre-cut wood, because she seemed pretty isolated out here, wasn't she?

Rinoa gave him a small smile at his response. _Just like…I remember you, Squall… _"Would you…Would you like to see the inside?" She didn't want to rush anything. She didn't want to push anything. This was Squall. And he was just as shocked as she was and he needed the time more than anyone else would. This was Squall, and she didn't think she could ever forget the way his mind worked. _…Squall…_

"Yes. I would like that." He looked at her, steel-blue eyes locking on to hers. She smiled again, pulling him towards the stairs.

"Careful around the second step…It's a bit loose and I haven't gotten around to fixing it yet…" She informed him, talking quickly but forcing herself not to ramble. As much as she wanted to ramble and get giddy and excited and scream and freak out and let her heart continue to hammer against her chest, she forced herself to be calm. Because the last thing either of them needed was hysterics. _…Especially you, Squall… _

It had been a long time and they both needed to be calm and mature and actually talk and get to know each other again because it was strange and she couldn't expect things to be as they were, as if nothing had happened, because something _did _happen and it had been too long since then. It felt strange to her that she was able to hold back everything so well; she had dreamed of this moment and wanted it so bad…and now that it was here, it being so unexpected, it was just so…strange…and she didn't know how to act or what to say around him…She felt sixteen again. _…but…but I'm happy you're here, Squall…_

Taking heed to her advice, Squall stepped lightly on said step. Another two, the second of which creaked loudly under his weight, and they were on the makeshift porch. Rinoa turned the doorknob quickly, the creaking noise echoing in his ears, and stood by the doorframe, gesturing him to go in first. Squall paused for a second before moving quickly to step over the threshold of the house.

The inside of the house looked like the outside. Wood, worn-down, with nails and hooks and green life growing at all junctions. With the moon being the only light source, he couldn't really see all that well, but the outlines were present. There were a lot of doors and a single table to his right with two chairs. A sort-of fireplace was also to his right with two windows on either side…and…and a piano, missing its side panel and half of the top and most of the keys, to his left. "…A piano…?"

She looked at him shyly, not expecting that question. "Would you believe that it fell from the sky?"

He didn't answer her, just returned another small smile before taking in the sight of the house again. He took a deep breath and he felt warm and earthy and comfort and dusty and ancient. It was something he remembered from a place he couldn't think of the name for.

Squall hadn't realized Rinoa was moving until he saw the candles being lit. When his eyes refocused on her, he noticed that all she had to do was wave her arm in the general vicinity of the wax stick for it to be aflame seconds later. He counted ten candles, five being on the table, three near the windows and two on the mantle, and watched as the entire room become absorbed in orange and yellow.

There was silence as Rinoa moved around the room, making more light. He stood, watching her and her movements, not really thinking of anything, just watching her, waiting a little longer before calling her out on her magic. "…That was…Fira…" He mumbled, his voice seemingly too loud for the room. When she looked up at him in question, he motioned to the candles. "You…remember Fira?"

"Yeah." She nodded, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, before moving towards the fireplace and finishing her plan to get him warm again. _He's drenched…so he has to get dry and get a change of clothes…The fireplace should be a good heat source……Oh, that reminds me, I have to get more firewood tomorrow morning, we're almost out._

It was strange to him that all of his words just slipped out, without having to be processed in his mind beforehand. Before he could even think of the words, his mouth was already moving, wanting to keep her talking so that he wouldn't have to wake up alone again. Squall blinked before continuing, not fully understanding where all the words were coming from if he couldn't even think about them. "…And…the storm…?"

By then, Rinoa had made it to the fireplace, placing the last few logs into the pit. She glanced at him, answering as her mind went through a check-list of other ways she could get him dry. "Thundaga…Water…The works, you know?" She shrugged at him, waving her arm. He counted to ten before she spoke again. "…Oh…" Rinoa mumbled sheepishly, eyeing his drenched form. "…Sorry about that…"

She quickly set the logs aflame and motioned him to sit down on one of the wooden chairs. "I had to use lightning and rain because I don't want the people who live on the other side of the banks to be freaked out. Could you imagine if I had used Meteor on those little things or something? They'd probably get the wrong idea of me being a witch and all and I can't afford that since they've been so nice to me…So yeah, using mother nature seemed like the way to go—"

Rinoa stopped herself before her mouth could run off again. "—Oh! Squall, please take off your boots and jacket. I don't want you to get pneumonia or a fungal infection or something…No. Wait. Hold on, let me get you a towel…"

He sat down slowly silently, watching the flames flicker and dance in front of him, feeling the heat already. Squall sighed, blinking slowly, taking it all in. Everything. And even though his mind had stopped filling in the equation, having given up on that hours ago because there was just too much of everything, and his nerves stopped sending out signals, he was okay with it. Because this was what he wanted, right? To have been searching for them and finally being reunited…This was what his duty had denied him before, hadn't it?

—_Tell me why it took you so long._

"Here. Found one!" Rinoa's voice came to him with a triumphant tone. He blinked and turned to take the towel she held out for him.

"T—Thank you." While he took the towel from her, he didn't use it to dry himself off. It stayed in his lap as he continued to look at her. _Rinoa…Hyne…Rinoa… _It was surreal to have her standing in front of him, in her own little home in the fields where they had promised to meet…which seemed so obvious to him now that if he could have made his mind work, he would have scolded himself for missing it.

…_Hyne…_She stood there, beautiful and resilient and strong. His heart flooded and all his logic and rationalization and schedules and barriers he had kept up to protect himself from being alone, the very thing they had inflicted on him, were washed away. He blinked, believing every second and he could hear his heart beat, regular and even, in his ears. _Rinoa… _This was it. Everything. It was here. And this was all he wanted. And nothing else mattered. Right?

"Would you…Would you like something to drink?" She never would have thought starting a conversation with Squall would be this awkward. _Well…it sure is when he isn't that responsive…_Rinoa smiled again at him, trying to cover her nervousness. She wasn't sure why she was nervous; she was supposed to be happy, right? Ecstatic, even. Squall Leonhart was in her house…and shouldn't that make her be jumping for joy? Maybe it would have, if he hadn't seemed so…_empty… _

She had dreamed of this moment for years; even though it was a long time coming, she never forgot about him, always wishing and hoping that wherever he was, he was okay and making friends and happy…She knew that she couldn't expect anything from him. It had been a long time and maybe it made her nervous and made her heart hammer to even have the possibility that he had moved on and gotten married and completely forgotten about her and—

—But the way he looked at her then, eyes soft and flickering with emotions that she couldn't see before, stopped her train of thought and allowed her to be calm once more. _Oh…Squall…_He looked at her and nodded, the life coming back into his eyes. "Yes. I'd like that."

"Well—Well, I'm going to put on some tea, okay? Uh…it'll be a bit more…raw…than what you're probably used to…But, it's still good!" Rinoa's heart fluttered and she felt sixteen again, infatuated and crush-y and having the pink return to her cheeks. She turned to get the iron kettle ready, the ginger root, and the sugar that the natives had given her. _…but…even if he has…someone else…to make him happy……then, that's fine too… _She almost giggled with excitement. She couldn't wait to hear his stories.

Squall watched her practically skip around the room, getting the water boiling and the cups ready. There was a moment when he stared at the table, seeing all the cracks and scratches and dents and nicks but not knowing, not a single clue, as to how they got there. His eyes kept looking around, amazed and proud even, that this structure…that she had built it and made it hers. _Rinoa… _His heart was slowly coming back to its normal resting rate and all the heavy feelings in his chest and on his heart were gone. He could breathe again.

And if it wasn't for the voice that called out his name seconds later, he would have let himself smile.

"—Squall?!"

* * *

"_YOU IDIOT!_"

Yuffie was fuming. She was frowning and pouting, with two fists balled up at her sides. The rain had finally stopped and Pocahontas and her had decided to go out to look for him. It didn't take her long to find the deep mud-prints at the banks where the river was. _…He…he _actually _jumped… _She wasn't sure what made her angrier: the fact that he had jumped, _actually _jumped off a cliff or the fact that he had done it without telling her first.

She knew. She knew everything now. _And he couldn't wait…he couldn't wait! _Pocahontas had kept quite a story to herself; she had met the second healer and was a big part of her assimilation into the tribe. Being restless one night, she had followed a shooting star by canoe. And what a surprise it was to find a strange woman with fire and lightning at her command at the island. _It was Rinoa…it was her! From what Zell told me…and from Pocahontas' description…Oh! It was her! It was! _

They had never exchanged names, but through some good words from Pocahontas, the other tribe people exchanged food and clothes with the new sister from across the river for medicinal practices. And now that Yuffie had told her exactly who had sent over the storm, she figured that the Pohawtans would be sending over more food and materials in thanks.

She sighed, not sure what to do about the situation. _Well…he _is _with her…right? So I shouldn't have to worry about him...since he couldn't have died from the fall……but… _Yuffie stared at the water, letting herself wonder what exactly he had been thinking when he made the decision to move off the edge. That second before he felt weightless...those last thoughts before he threw it all away. _…but…but… _She didn't want to cry anymore, but she felt her eyes betray her. _…but…I want to know…if he'll come back after all of this…because if that's what he really wants...and we're just a stupid diversion and didn't mean anything..._

The moon was shining brightly now, the clouds dissipating and thinning, giving a shadow to her quivering form. _…because I don't want to be alone anymore… _Her tears fell down her cheeks and her fists unclenched, heart becoming heavy, anger disappearing, his words replaying in her head again. _…dammit, Squall…why…did you have to leave me too? _She looked at the island, several yards away and quickly rubbed her eyes, not wanting Pocahontas to catch her. _…My own friends are already missing…and now…and now…even you're gone too…_

Her eyes traveled down to her feet, overlooking the muddy footprints, because that's all he was to her now anyway. Just a memory, an imprint on her brain. And soon, he'll fade away from her mind just like she had already faded from his. And maybe, if she kept telling herself this, it would make the hurt stop. Because clearly, he would never think about her again. _Squall...This...just isn't fair......Why do I have to be alone all the time...? No matter how hard I try... _Yuffie sighed again, turning away from the river, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. _...little ninja Yuffie...who can't get her head on straight...always alone... _

She kept her eyes down as she walked away, not bothering to tell Pocahontas what she had found and where she was going now. Because as much as she didn't want to think of it, she knew that he wouldn't come home with her. "…I just hope...you're happy now…"

* * *

WOW.

One month later. 0_o damn school.

Anyway, hope you all liked it. Again, sorry for the lateness, but y'all expected that. I hope I captured the awkwardness between Squall and Rinoa, because as much as I want them to hurry up and make babies, like, HELLO, they haven't seen eachother in seven years. So. Yeah.

And I think I shed a tear for Yuffie.

PLEASE REVIEW!


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!): **Your comments make me happy! THANK YOU!

With all the hussle and bussle of putting up chapter 19, I forgot to add that 1) Again, Cheekyte, THANK YOU FOR THAT CHAPTER'S CLOSE!

And 2) Rinoa's outfit that was described can be seen here (I found it from google a while back, before I started writing this, and didn't know that it was someone's deviantart!: **http:// vinrylgrave. deviantart. com/ art/ Rinoa-X-2-32697526**, minus the spaces there) although, I can't picture Rinoa baring midriff...picture just a black tank-top or something. Not sure why, but maybe it's because FFVIII girls were always on the 'cute-girl-next-door' side and not the overtly sexy typecast.

Anyway, ONWARDS!

* * *

Squall looked over in the direction of the new, deeper voice, heart beginning to speed up as he realized that the face he saw was far too young to be the face of the man he remembered. _…Hyne…K—Kinneas… _A darker pair of blue eyes widened as he stared at him in disbelief. _…He…hasn't…aged a day…_

There was a commotion to his right but he didn't turn to see Rinoa walking over to the other man. "Oh! Irvine! You're up! I'm sorry! Were we loud?" The stare Squall had going with him was broken as Rinoa walked between their line of vision. "I mean, not that I didn't want you to come, I was going to come to your room and wake you soon but—"

"—It's…It's okay, Rinoa. Don't worry." The smooth voice interrupted, speaking loud enough to get her to stop rambling. A tiny smirk on Irvine's lips came her way. _…I can see why you were distracted…_

She smiled at him for a second before moving back over to Squall. Her body was blocking Irvine from his sight, so his heart slowed down again. "Squall…?" Rinoa asked him carefully, seeing his distraught eyes when Irvine first came down. _…So many surprises for you today… _She smiled wryly at the thought. _…and I know how much you hate surprises… _

He nodded to her, blinking several times. She gave him a light chuckle and moved her hand to quickly squeeze his fingertips. "Lucky you…" She mumbled, trying to get the emotion back into his eyes. "You got two of us in one day…"

Squall swallowed the thick lump in his throat before squeezing back. Already his mind was spinning, remembering Irvine and his SeeD number and his ranking and his expertise and Galbadia and the war and the assassination attempt and all the while knowing that his face was still too young. _Irvine… _He was barely aware that Rinoa had left his side to go get the teacups and that Irvine and him were now the only two in the room.

With a gait he remembered, Irvine sauntered over to the only other chair at the table. He was still taller than he was but there was no longer a ponytail and the cowboy hat was missing and his earring was gone. _…Irvine Kinneas… _With his brain aimlessly trying to make connections again, Squall wondered where Exeter was. And how _he _got here. And why _he_ hadn't aged. But that part of his brain that would have answered all of that had given up trying to solve the equation hours ago, hadn't it?

Turning the wooden chair so that his front could touch the backrest, Irvine sat down adjacent to him. There was a silence and a long stare before the other man smirked. "Hyne…" He mumbled incredulously, trying to ignore the impassive look on Squall's face. "Commander Squall Leonhart…Hyne, what the hell are you doing here?"

—_Tell me what took you so long._

Squall blinked several times, the voice finally registering in his head. It _was_ Irvine who was sitting next to him. It was _him_. _…but…why hasn't he aged…? _With Rinoa out of the room, his heart was speeding in his chest and his hands gripped the armrests of the chair until they hurt. With that feeling telling him that this was all very real, he stared at the edge of the table again.

He wasn't sure why he couldn't answer him; finding all of them was what he wanted, right? From the very beginning? Wasn't this what his duty and _those _promises he could no longer recall denied him? Wasn't this one of those moments he wanted back? Yes, it had to be, because he was fine moments earlier…But he just couldn't put his finger on why Irvine's youth bothered him so much. There was something wrong with that and he couldn't think of it. That part of his brain was blocked off, those memories of _that _and _then _and _him _and _her_ no longer existing…

"Squall, man, what's up?" Irvine tried again with the unresponsive man, noticing just how uncomfortable he looked. And he wasn't sure why, but Irvine felt resentment growing. _…But …What's his deal, anyway?_ "You look like you've seen a ghost or something…"

There was a sharp intake of breath as that line punched a hole in the barricade that had been keeping his thoughts still. Zell had said that to him in the garage. Zell Dincht. Martial Artist Expert, Zell Dincht. Who was still waiting for him at…at… _…Hollow Bastion…_ The dam that had been holding back all of _that_, deeming it unimportant and useless seconds before, was starting to leak. Squall's brain was beginning to work again and as much as he didn't want it to, because he liked the quiet and the calm, the equation was becoming balanced.

And suddenly, he remembered Quistis.

And how she hadn't aged either.

And how she hadn't known his name. Or anything at all, for that matter. And how she stared at him as a stranger and addressed him politely as if meeting him for the first time. _Hyne…Hyne… _But there was still something missing, because all the other details of _that_ part were fuzzy and he couldn't see anyone else's faces but theirs. His distress was showing on his face and his heart was being squeezed from the inside and Irvine frowned at him with concern. "Squall…? You okay?"

Somehow, he found his voice. "I…I don't…" Squall blinked several times, trying to sort everything out in his head. But now, there was too much of everything, the dam was leaking profusely, both parts of his _life_ and his _choices _colliding into the equation that was starting to run out of functions with each new piece still not answering his questions. "I don't know…"

—_All of this doesn't change the fact that Zell and Quistis are waiting for you. They aren't going anywhere, you know._

Irvine raised an eyebrow, trying to hide his slight amusement. _Jeeze…I may not remember it all, but I don't think I've ever seen him this strung out…_ "You don't know…if you're okay?" When there was no immediate answer, Irvine rolled his eyes and pursed his lips together, holding in his irritation. _What's with him? What's his problem, anyway?…and what could he…of all people…right now…What could he possibly be stressed about?_

Squall's grip tightened on the chair's armrests and he found himself staring at the table again, trying to ignore the pain in his temples. There was still something missing, though. He couldn't remember all of _that _and why _this _didn't feel right anymore. Looking at all the nicks and scratches and dents while trying to sort everything about the lie and the diversion and here and now from what he deserved and what he really wanted and what he said and what he would do after this, his head began to throb with a familiar tempo. But wasn't all of _that _the stuff that didn't matter anymore? Wasn't _this _what he wanted?

_Hyne…What…? What did I do…to make it this way? _Squall's head was filling up with all the pieces and he was sure that if he didn't do something soon, if he didn't figure this out, he was going to explode into million tiny pieces. _And…what were their names…? And when…? What…? _Out of habit, he felt his arm rise to allow his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. Irvine wasn't like Quistis. He wasn't completely lost. And he definitely wasn't like Zell. He was the wrong age. But what were the circumstances for all of this? The age…The people…? There was still something missing, even though his head was ready to split into two.

There was someone who he reminded him of…someone he couldn't think of the name for. Or see the face of. He began to hear the static noise again and his blood pounding and the sound of rushing waters and his ears were ringing, but he wasn't sure if it was because someone he couldn't remember was thinking of him or because the kettle was whistling. But if he couldn't remember _them_, did it mean that it never happened?

—_No, no Commander, they were all very real. So tell me what took you so long._

Irvine let out a sad smile and looked back at the fireplace with annoyance and disappointment. "You can answer me whenever you can, Squall. I got no where to go, you know." _…what do you have to be sad about now, Commander…? Why aren't you happy yet? Rinoa is…She's… …Why can't you speak to me…? What is it that's making you give me that look? You must remember who I am…and everything else…or else Rinoa…wouldn't be that happy…_

Squall blinked, the other man's voice stopping the leak and the previous train of thought. Yes, this was what he wanted. And it didn't matter if Irvine didn't age and that he looked nineteen when he should have been twenty-five. What mattered was that he was there. And that's it. Right? With steel determination, he closed up the dam and forced everything out of his head again. It was better for him to think this way and not to be bothered with all of _that_ because _that _wasn't important anymore because _this _was what he always wanted.

—_Yes, you can keep telling yourself that if it'll make you feel better_

It was lurking there, he knew; every time he would look at Irvine's face, it would start to leak back, because there was a connection that he was refusing to make. A part of him, too stubborn to acknowledge it, did not allow for it to come through, even though it was important and it was _the _answer as to why this didn't feel right anymore. _No…Stop it. Enough. _Now was not the time to over-think. He was where he always wanted to be. And that's it.

It was another while before he was aware of time again and he realized that he still hadn't answered Irvine. Blinking again, Squall coughed, hoping to cover his delay, letting out a sigh of relief that all the noises stopped. "…I have…I have a lot on my mind."

_A lot on your mind, huh…? _If Irvine heard him, he made no indication of it. He was watching the fireplace intently, merely nodding at his response. _…that shouldn't keep you from being…practically comatose…_The tone that came next was bordering on anger and Squall nearly winced at the sharp tug on his insides. "What do you have to think about, anyway? What…? You're here…and I've never…I've never seen Rinoa that happy before…"

The wood in the fireplace cracked loudly, sending embers over towards them, echoing in the silence of the room. Squall could only watch as the flames cast orange and yellow and black shadows on Irvine's face, not entirely sure what to say because his brain still wasn't processing information like it used to. But that's okay, because he didn't want to think that way anymore because he was where he has always wanted to be. But then, why did it feel…wrong…now? Like he should listen to the leak in his head? Why was that hand squeezing his heart, that familiar sense of dread creeping up his spine…?

—_Tell me what took you so long._

It was another long pause before Irvine spoke again, still not making eye contact. _…I don't understand…why you have that sad look on your face…_"…So…I'm not exactly sure…what you can be so strung out about…" He stared at the iron kettle, watching as the steam began to accumulate out of the spout. _He's here…and can't say a word…_Irvine squished down his anger a bit, knowing that this wasn't the time for that. _…what could he be sad about…? Rinoa is…She's… _"I—I mean, hell…" The darker pair of blue eyes looked his way, with irritation and…and unhappiness. "…at least the woman you love remembers your name…"

The stare between them was intense and Squall looked away first, heart pounding again. His mind was slowly beginning to get flooded again with all the things he couldn't remember or see or understand the relevancy of, but his lips managed to mumble her name in a volume that seemed too loud. "…S—Selphie…" Irvine looked away from him at the mention of her name, holding down his anger again.

That feeling inside him, that something wasn't right, began to spread to his heart. "Selphie…" Squall tried again, trying to understand. "You—You've found Selphie…?"

"Yeah." The word was curt and cold and Squall found himself frowning.

"Where?"

"Some island." Irvine shrugged, trying to act as nonchalantly as possible about the whole thing. Because it was a long time ago and nothing he could do could change _that _and he was over it, he was. He watched the fire some more, ignoring Squall's stare. "…Found her on the beach when I woke up after…after that. She was about ten years too young, though…"

"…What…?" Again, the age issue was back, pushing through his head and Squall knew that he couldn't keep it out much longer. His heart constricted as he tried to remember how to think and all of _that_ stuff that had washed away when Rinoa looked at him because there would be answers there. But he knew that if _that _stuff came back, he couldn't keep _this_ happiness because he couldn't have both, not a person like him, and getting this moment back was all he really wanted, right?

Irvine ignored his question all together, blinking back the memory of the youthful Selphie at the shoreline staring at him strangely. He had woken up with sand in his eyes, with clothes that were a bit too big on him, even though he was sure they had fit him hours beforehand and with sores all over his body. It had taken him a while to stand up, to acknowledge exactly what had happened, to grip the sand between his fingers and to cry out his frustration with the outcome and it hadn't occurred to him then that there were holes in his memories.

He had wandered on the beach for a while, trying to get his legs to work, when he saw a bright patch of yellow where the waves were receding. He had rushed over, woken her up, pleading with her to open her eyes, only to find another set of green ones looking at him. _…and it didn't matter how much I knew…she couldn't…remember a thing…_His world had died again when she could only giggle and guess at his name and shrug at his questions of where she lived.

When Irvine spoke next, those few memories spinning in his head, his tone even surprised himself."Going through one world's destruction was hard…but two? Two…" He paused, remembering that second storm, not able to do anything because he had no magic or ammo or Guardian Forces, and that feeling of being swept away into the sky even though he wasn't even moving and waking up in a field as someone else. "…M—Man, someone up there must not like me or something…"

There was a nervous, sad laugh that followed and he turned the conversation back to Squall. "I don't know what you've been through to make you have that face…But I don't care. You've got…You've… …The way she looks at you… I—I know… You've got everything there and she's…Rinoa is…and you just _sit _there…and you don't…you don't…" Irvine found himself biting the inside of his cheek to stop his jaw from shaking, his palms getting sweaty, his voice trailing off because he kept seeing her face and that second time around in the fire. _…Selphie…_

Their eyes met briefly and Squall felt his heart become squeezed into plasma at the look in Irvine's eyes, because suddenly, he had to wonder what had he done to deserve his happiness. What made him so special that he could finally get what he wanted…? By sheer chance? Because he didn't remember where she had been standing until he jumped. Because he was slowly forgetting everything about them. After everything that he had done and said and promised to do, and even all the stuff that he couldn't remember, what made _him_ so special?

There was another silence, just the fire and the kettle making noise, before Irvine sighed, collecting himself. "I just…really don't get why you aren't smiling yet, Squall…"

Squall's hands made it to the towel, wringing it as tightly as he could to keep his hands from shaking. Irvine was still looking at the fire but he could see everything in his eyes and if it hadn't been for the kettle's whistling to distract him and the fact that his vision was shifting out of focus, he could have sworn he saw tears. _…Irvine… _He pressed his lips together, his ears ringing, not wanting to say a word, because what could he say, really? How could he say sorry now? But he knew that he should say something, anything, because he owed them at least that, didn't he? "…Irvine—"

"—Okay! The ginger's ready! Hope you guys like brown sugar—" Rinoa's cheerful voice was lost as she felt the tension in the room. She stopped suddenly, the teacups clinking together on the tray she was holding, not sure how to proceed. The fire cracked again, almost mocking the silence and the kettle kept whistling, hoping that someone would take the heat off soon. Brown eyes shifted between the two sets of blue ones, trying to figure out what had happened to make the strained reunion.

Irvine stood up suddenly, the motion almost making her jump, chair scraping the wood floor beneath it. "Know what, Rinoa…? I'm not…I'm not thirsty…I'll just…I'll…" He waved his hand, indicating the door behind them and moved quickly. _…how can he be…so…upset…if he…can get…what he wants now…?_

In a flash, Rinoa had put the cups on the table with a clatter and rushed towards Irvine. "Wait! Irvine! Hold on a second! What—?" She couldn't speak or move fast enough because before she could finish her question he had closed the door in her face. The sound echoed and muted the kettle's whistling for a few seconds and left Rinoa dumbfounded. _…What…? _

She looked back at Squall, about to ask him what they had been talking about, but stopped herself when she saw him staring emptily at the table's edge. _…What…? _Rinoa moved slowly, returning to the table, intent on getting to the bottom of this. _What…did they say to each other…to make them like this…? _The kettle was whistling sharply now, and before she could voice her question over that sound, Squall's sudden speech stopped her. It made her heart skip, because suddenly, his tone was cold and hard and not even there.

"The water's ready."

* * *

She didn't think she would feel like this; curled up in her bed with a feeling similar to nausea crawling in her gut. But, there she was, sheets wrapped around her, fingers gripping them tightly with Cid's story repeating over and over again in her head. Thinking of it now, Tifa wished she had written some of it down, because the details were getting lost and she couldn't remember everything he told her.

…_but…shouldn't I remember…? Shouldn't I know that I was born in __Nibelheim? And that Sephiroth…killed…my father…? And about…that company…Sh— …Shinra? With those…Mako reactor things? _Tifa felt her heart drop into her chest; although Zell had warned her that Cid's story may not bring her to full comprehension, she was really hoping it would. Her hope was crushed when midway through Cid's story, she had almost forgotten the first part of it. _…what's…what's wrong with me…? And who would make us like…like this…? _

She sighed aloud in the room, turning over on her back and pulling half the sheets with her. _…I remember Cloud…and being friends with him…I remember Sephiroth…and AVALANCE……but whatever else he told me…everything from his perspective…none of it…it didn't…it didn't click… _Tifa felt the tears well up in her eyes again, but she refused to cry. What would she be crying about? She had gotten what she wanted, she knew the risks… _…but why can't…why am I not allowed to remember…? What did I do…? What did I do…?_

Tifa tried to get all of it past her, because there wasn't much she could do about it now, but her mind kept replaying Cid's story. And how she had nothing to back up whatever he had said. _…Jenova…SOLIDER…Cloud…Zack…Aerith…Cetras…Red XIII…Barret…and Cloud and Aerith were…in love… _Of course, she trusted him and believed him, even in all the far-fetched parts about the Jenova implantations and Cloud being Zack—but not really—and Sephiroth being a near clone of an evil alien sent to their Gaia two thousand years ago to infect everyone with a virus.

…_but…it's just a story to me…that's it… _She stared up at the ceiling, disappointed that her confusion was still present. She stared and stared, trying to stop the tears from falling because she knew that this would be the most probable route. It would be a story to her, just that, and Cid's words would not be able to bridge the gaps that she was missing. It was just information, something she had to take at face value, it was just empty facts. But wasn't this what she wanted? To know the story?

A sharp knock on the door made her jump. She held her breath, not wanting to get up, hoping that whoever was visiting her would go away. She didn't want to deal with people right now. She just wanted to sleep all of this away; besides, she had a full shift in the morning, so she needed her sleep anyway. When a second knock came, Tifa sighed. _…they aren't going anywhere, are they?_

"Tifa…? I know you're there." A voice came with the third knock; she recognized it immediately and it didn't surprise her that it was Zell who would come to see her. _…Cid and Cloud and Aerith are all out on duty…and even if they weren't…they wouldn't know and wouldn't understand…_

Throwing the sheets off, she moved as quickly as she could to the door, opening it before Zell could knock or call out her name again. "Ti—Oh! Hey! You're up!" His cheerful tone disappeared when he saw the look on her face. _…Oh…_ She looked so sad, her dark eyes nearly grey, tears threatening to fall, and he could tell that whatever Cid told her hadn't sunk in or hadn't been good at all. He paused for a second, speaking slowly. "…Are…are you okay?"

She didn't answer him, simply moving out of the way so that he could enter her room. He paused again, only for a second, before walking forward and closing the door behind him. It locked with a soft click. "Tifa…?" Zell asked, watching her move back to her bed. "…What's…What happened? How did...it go?"

The mattress creaked under her weight as she sat down on it. "He…He told me. Cid told me everything I could ever want to know." Her voice seemed so misplaced. And it seemed so odd to be talking about that out loud. "…And I…None of it…None of it stuck, you know?"

Before he could interject, she cut him off with a sad laugh. "No, no! Don't say it…You don't know…because you already know everything…" Tifa looked away from him and a long silence followed, the only sound being Zell rocking awkwardly on the balls of his feet. Her fingers curled into fists and a part of her wondered why she let him in if she wasn't going to talk. She stared at the floor, her voice coming out soft. "You don't know…what this is like…To just have a story about you and your life and not being able to remember your side of it…"

Zell took a step towards the bed. "Tifa…" He wasn't sure what to say; she was absolutely right. What would he know about being half-way there? Quistis didn't know her own backstory, she didn't know she was missing anything and was perfectly content in believing that her life in Olympia had always been that way. _But…Tifa…knows something's not there…and even with Cid…she can't…Tifa can't… _

She sighed, finally taking her eyes off the floor. "Zell…what am I going to do?" Tifa had never felt so uneasy before. She had gotten the story that no one would tell her. She knew what they knew and she should have known that those stories wouldn't change the fact that she couldn't remember it on her own. "I—I mean…What Cid told me…Some of it seems so…not right with what I can see now…"

He took another step forward, telling her silently to go on. Her lips trembled a little bit before blurting out everything that didn't make sense to her. "Aerith is supposed to be dead. Dead, Zell. She _died_ when we still had Gaia…But there she is…walking around…And—And Cloud isn't even the Cloud that I grew up with…He's someone else, a friend named Zack, because some corporation injected Zack's mutant cells into him…But if he doesn't remember anything of _that_, how would I know if he knows that? How am I supposed to know if Cloud is really Cloud?"

Zell had to blink a few times to process the news. _Aerith…is…? _Before he could speak, Tifa interrupted him in a calmer voice that was the opposite to her pounding heartbeat. "I have all the information I could ever want…but what do I do with it? I can't tell anyone…I can't tell Aerith that she's not supposed to be here…I can't make Cloud remember anything…And I still…I still can't remember anything. It's just…there…sitting in my head collecting dust because I can't…I can't…What am I going to do now?"

Taking a few more steps, Zell came next to the bed and sat down beside her. There was a long silence, with Tifa curling and relaxing her fists, trying to take deep breaths to calm her nerves, before he decided to speak. "Tifa…" His voice trailed off and he patted her shoulder in a comforting manner. "Look, I don't…I don't really know what to say here because you're right, I don't know anything of what your head is dealing with…but…" He paused, trying to find the right words, but failing. _Shit...what can I say to that...? _"…uh—"

"—I know why they give me that look for…" She interrupted him again with a whisper, not paying attention to his words. Her sadness and hopelessness about her lost memories welled up in her heart and made tears come to her eyes again. "…Because they know, Z—Zell…" She tried, desperately, not to cry in front of him, this stranger, but she couldn't help it when a tear fell. "…T—They know that no matter w—what they do…they can't get me back…And even when…I try to listen…and understand…they know that it won't do me any good…They _knew _that...They _knew _that nothing would work and that I would just...keep wandering around...pretending...and they even t—tried to convince me that not knowing was better because…b—because…"

"…Tifa…Don't…Don't cry…" Zell pulled her into a one-armed hug, not sure what to do. "Please…don't cry…"

"But…But what can I do…? If I can't remember…anything…no matter what…?" Tifa buried her face in her hands. _How can I live…like this…? Only half…knowing that something's not right but not being able to do anything about it…? _"No matter what…What can I do…when I know that I can't get it back…? When...all I can do...is pretend...? To _know _that I'm missing something...a half of a life...To be stuck like _this..._...When not even hearing the story could bring me back…? Zell, what can I do now…?"

Zell looked away from her but kept her in the hug. _…Tifa…I…I'm sorry……that you're going through this… _When her sobs got louder, Zell tightened his hold, feeling his heart get heavy. And he knew that he could only imagine what she was going through. _…what could possibly be worse than this…?_

* * *

What's this? Another update in less-than-a-month's time?

Anyway, hope you all liked it. I'm really surprised that a handful of you reviewers called me out on Irvine's appearance in Rinoa's house. ^^ Thinnking of it now, I didn't even have to bring him in…but I wanted to bring a little more complexity. Because now, Squall, hopefully, will realize that he's not the only one with serious issues. It'll add another chapter or so, but whatever. FYI: The island Irvine speaks of is, you guessed it, Destiny Islands, and the second storm is when (duh) KH 1 starts.

This chapter was, overall, a bit tricky to write…Because it was hard to make Irvine's intro and backstory NOT seem random in eight pages. Hope everything was to your liking and that the Tifa/Zell moment was good. I may be editing this chapter later (possibly with more angst lol), so if I DO change anything, I'll write about it in the next A/N.

Next chapter, WHICH AM I REALLY EXCITED TO WRITE, will probably not be up soon…I'm in the calm before the storm at school…so…yeah…expect delays.

RANDOM NOTE: ahahahha, to my 69th reviewer, **sallygrimreaper**, thanks for that sexy review! LOL. (you know you're still immature when the number 69 is a milestone of sorts)

PLEASE REVIEW!


	21. Chapter Twenty One

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!): **Your comments make me happy! THANK YOU!

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There had to be something wrong with him.

Seriously wrong.

Because he couldn't close his eyes.

Squall's heart was racing, even though he had retired to the make-shift mattress Rinoa had given him a while ago. His eyes kept scanning the ceiling for answers, for _anything_, that could tell him what was wrong with him. With _this_. His fingers gripped the sheets as he tried to remember the things that were eluding him, behind the dam, because this confusion wasn't worth it. _…what…did I do…? Was…it so horrible…that I can't remember?_

After a tense and silent sitting with her, he didn't touch his tea and told her he was tired. She was the woman he loved, and that's all he could say. _…but what else…could I say…? After that…? _His temples began to throb as he remembered his actions hours before; he could only stare at the steam floating up from the teacup, getting that feeling that this had happened before. _What…what's wrong…with me? What did I do…to make _this _this way?_

—_Something horrible, Commander, that's what…_

Immediately after his single declaration, she had sprung up, and brought him through one of the doors on the left. Two doors away from where Irvine was and one door away from the kitchen area. He wasn't sure if she had said goodnight and he wasn't sure if she had been close to crying because his feet moved almost automatically to the bed. She was the woman he loved and he practically closed the door in her face. He had tried to fall asleep, tried to give in to his tiredness, but his mind kept nagging at him to figure it out.

And now, he was afraid to close his eyes.

Even though he knew that a stupid emotion like that is what paralyzes a warrior and is what gets you killed, that same fear kept him from looking over the mental block and getting the answer. Because it was something horrible, wasn't it?

—_Coward…Pathetic…Weak… _

This was unacceptable; he was SeeD. He was too old for this. He was Commander. Top of his class. _Hyne…what…? _But he couldn't bring himself to look over the edge. Because he _knew _it had to be something horrible.

So, he just lay there. Awake. Staring at the ceiling because the problems with age and memories and fuzzy faces and names hadn't gone away. They kept running around in his head, trying to get past the barrier, keeping his eyes open and keeping the water running and trying to get him to see that he _knows _the reason behind the age issue. Behind everything.

It's black and it's yellow but he doesn't want to find out the name or the shape. He _knows _what happened to get Selphie and Quistis to forget everything. And he _knows _that there's a meaning to the other people in the garage and the fuzzy faces and the familiar tug at his heart when he tries to ignore it all.

And that familiar sense of dread and anguish that makes him turn away from the answer.

A part of him tells him that he must be suffering from insomnia by now. He has to be. Because isn't he the one who has been having trouble sleeping over the past few days? Or weeks? Or months, maybe? There had been many restless nights, all of which he could no longer recall, and they have been about the things he couldn't remember right now. The _point _of all of this. _How _he got here. The _other people _who he can't see, but they're there, and they're still waiting because they're important too.

But he was afraid. And he hadn't felt this afraid since…since… _…Hyne… _Because even though they're important, he did something horrible to them. _…and why…can't I remember that…? _

It was like a needle now, insistently poking at his nerves, because all the information had leaked through. He _knew _everything, but the puzzle wasn't done. He wouldn't allow that part of his brain, that had stopped working hours ago, to put it together. The pieces were scattered and the tingles and the hand on his heart told him to hurry up and figure it out before the pieces couldn't fit together anymore or before they drifted away. Because there was something important there. Something and someone he would never want to throw away because…because… _…because what…? _

There was a silence after his thought; not even the house was creaking any more. Squall continued to stare up at the ceiling, letting his heart continue to race, letting his palms get clammy, letting the hairs at the back of his neck stick up on end and letting his frustration mount. _…what…am I missing now…? _Each time he tried to think back to the moments before the jump, all he could see were fuzzy faces and green and brown and yellow and tinted cheeks and tears.

And every time Squall would try to focus, his heart would hammer and press up against his ribcage in warning because it would hurt too much to see it. There would be a tight, painful squeeze on his insides and all the sound would be replaced with the music of the water and the violins and the clarinets and the flutes to protect him from the words he said.

He was afraid to know. Afraid to know what he had done. He was afraid that if he allowed himself to know, he wouldn't be able to have both. He wouldn't be able to keep _this _happiness if he looked over the damn and saw the other side. The _other _life. The _other _choices. Not a person like him. Not a person who abandons others because of his inability to do anything right…Not a person like him who only deserves to be alone.

—_Stop it. Now. _Squall inhaled a shaky breath and tried to relax; this wasn't worth it. His mindset was too juvenile; he was too old for this. He was SeeD. He wasn't supposed to be afraid. _So stop it. Now. _On the exhale, he forced his fingers to ease up on the sheets and for his eyes to drift shut. Darkness greeted him again. And this part felt familiar too because another part of his mind told him that darkness was all he really deserved anyway, especially after everything he had said and promised to do, and all that stuff that he couldn't remember because it was him who locked it away to being with.

—_How noble of you, Commander…Putting your old friends before your new ones, hmm?_

_No. Stop. Enough. Please… _Squall ignored that part and focused on breathing. He counted to ten for every inhale and to five for every exhale. He breathed deeply, from his diaphragm, stopping his ribcage from expanding any more than it had to. It was a simple, precise routine and he was good at these.

—_Yes, because that's all you have left, isn't it?_

He even found himself breathing noisily so that it would be the only sound he would hear. He lay there, on his back, intensely focusing on his breathing and his slowing heartbeat and nothing else; he was focused, in deep concentration, just like his training taught him. Because he was SeeD, and at least he remembered that.

And while that last thought pricked him and tried to keep him awake so he could keep thinking about it and how that mindset had started all of this, Squall kept his form and began counting numbers in his head. _…One… _He would not think about it now. He was supposed to be happy. Ecstatic even. He was in the home of the woman he loved and of a friend he thought he'd never see again. Now was not the time to over-think. _…Four…five…_

—_But that doesn't change the fact that Quistis and Zell are still waiting for you, you know._

After all, that part of his brain, his logical and rational and systematical part wasn't up to speed yet and wouldn't be able to fill in the equation anyway. _…Seven… _It could wait until the morning, he firmly decided, after some much-needed sleep, after his nervousness would pass, after Irvine's anger cooled down, after Rinoa stopped crying and after he stopped feeling so guilty and ashamed over something he couldn't remember.

The images he couldn't really see swished under his eyelids but Squall didn't focus there, staying attached to the numbers instead. _…T—Ten…_ He looked past the pictures, ignoring them, because it could wait. It had to wait. Because he still didn't know and still wasn't sure if he wanted to know. _…what…did I do…? …and what…can I say…? _But he would have to look over the barrier sooner or later, no matter how horrible, because he couldn't be afraid forever. _…No…stop. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen…_

—_Coward._

Eventually, even though it hurt his heart to ignore it, because the blurs of skin and black and metal and yellow eyes were important to him, his mind floated into unconsciousness. It was a gradual loss of perception of the room around him and after one final tug at his insides, one more number passing through his head, Squall felt weightless as he drifted into sleep. _…Twenty…_

Finally.

* * *

Pocahontas was running as fast as her feet could carry her. Tears were stinging her eyes from the force of the wind moving against her and from the knowledge she knew. _He…he jumped… _Arms and legs moving with fluidity, the native woman raced back to the camp to find her foreign companion. _…He jumped……but what was so horrible…?_

Jumping over a low branch, she made it to the clearing where the rest of her people lay sleeping. Pocahontas didn't pause to see the fire glowing or the new tents that had been erected or even to meet the stares of on-lookers. She focused only on the soft, wet earth beneath her feet and prayed that Yuffie would be alright. That Leon—or Squall, whichever he wanted—would be alright too. _…oh…Yuffie…_

She threw back the opening to Yuffie's tent but it really didn't surprise her to find it empty. _…oh…Yuffie, no…_ Both beds were disheveled and all her belongings were gone. Letting out a sigh and stopping her tears from falling, she forced her tired body into another run to the only other place she could think of. Breathing hard, she moved quickly, back into the dense forested area around the camp. She had to find her. To tell her that he jumped. Because the sadness was still there, that ever-growing grief, but now that the woman from across the river was finally involved, it was almost over.

Or at least, it had to be almost over. She wasn't sure if she could take much more of this. Because she was afraid that the conclusion would not be right. That these strangers, that Leon—or Squall, whichever he wanted—would make the wrong choice and not come back. And leave Yuffie alone. All alone. And add one more on her list of the people she had lost. _…but…he has been lost…since she met him……Oh, Leon… please… don't leave her behind…_

The trees and branches nicked her body as she ran, but Pocahontas kept her pace through the forest, towards the giant bird. _…Leon…couldn't you see the goodness in front of you? That Yuffie cares deeply and only wants you to be okay…? _Her heart hammered in her chest, thinking back to the vague dreams she had had. That grief. The ever-growing sadness that ate away at her heart. It consumed her and she couldn't help the tears that fell. _…but…what is the healer going to do now…? What will she say…? What will he do…when he sees her again…?_

Her feet kept moving with her heart and soul getting heavy. _What will…he ask of her…? To make _this _go away…? To make her use her magic to cure him of these horrible memories…? To rid himself of his sadness…? _Pocahontas forced that thought aside; as cold as Leon was, she wouldn't believe that he would willingly forget Yuffie. _…no matter how painful he thinks his memories are…_

She turned slightly in her path, coming upon the clearing that the giant bird had made for itself. Under the light of the moon, she could see its immense shadow and one that belonged to someone much smaller. Picking up her pace, she hurried over to her petite friend, heart still hammering and thoughts still swimming in that grief she couldn't shake. "Yuffie!" From her running, her voice was barely a whisper.

Pocahontas got near the giant bird, pace slowing, with Yuffie's back getting closer. The native woman slowed to a stop, behind some trees, noticing that Yuffie repeated the same motion with her hand, up and down, as she tried to twist something into place on the broken wing. There were no breaks in her routine, Pocahontas noted, as she watched her repeat the motion. A simple precise routine. The scene was familiar to her.

She paused, not sure if she should call out. She stopped and she stared for a long time before deciding against it. _…Yuffie… _She tried to say it, because she knew in her heart that Yuffie still cared…because wouldn't she want to know where he was? Wasn't that the point of them going out at night looking? _…she must still care…She has to…but…but…_

The sound of metal on metal jolted Pocahontas out of her thoughts and almost made her cry out in surprise. Yuffie had harshly thrown the object she had been using to twist something else into the container at her feet. _…but does she want to know…? If Leon knows that woman…does she want to know that he…he jumped…to go over to her…? _Tears fell down her cheeks and Pocahontas brought a hand to her mouth. _…No…What could be worse …?_

She watched Yuffie's fists curl at her sides. She watched her count to ten before picking up the object she had thrown and restarting her work on the wing. _Even…if I tell her…what else could I say…to make her feel better…? _Pocahontas watched her work under the moonlight, being reminded of the time when she had done the same to Leon. Back when the story hadn't been this complicated. Back when the sadness hadn't come full force. _…Yuffie…_

Her petite companion turned slightly in her direction but didn't notice her standing there. There was a brief instant where Pocahontas saw her face and that was all she needed to keep her mouth quiet. The moonlight offered little clarity on her features, but she could see everything. It was almost the same look Leon had given her beforehand. That split second where his soul opened up…_…with a thousand tears… _Her heart squeezed from the inside as she stared at Yuffie's tear-streaked face.

_She cares…so deeply for him… _Pocahontas looked on, heart getting heavy and fresh tears falling. She wasn't sure why she cried so much for these strangers but there was just something about them. Something important. Something elegant and beautiful. But also, something very sad. _…She must really think…that he isn't coming back… _Pocahontas, after seeing Yuffie's arm move back up and down again, turned slowly to go back to camp. _…but…Leon…Squall…surely he can't forget about her……And the healer, no matter how important she is to him, wouldn't be so cruel…_

Her feet stepped lightly over the leaves and branches, not wanting to disturb Yuffie. _She needs time…to think…to understand that he wouldn't leave her like that. No matter what he said to her…No, he would not do that…_It was then when Pocahontas made up her mind. _If this sadness is to end…then I must do something. I saw it coming…I must do something……to make sure he comes back…_

Looking up at the starless sky, that vast darkness that she still wasn't used to, but at least finally understood, she prayed. _Wherever you are, Squall…Remember her. Please…understand… _Pocahontas wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. _For what she's done for you…you owe her at least that…_Squeezing her eyes shut, she prayed that the dream-catcher in his mind would bring out his pleasant memories. And make him remember.

…_You have to come back…Yuffie is too special to throw away… _Dropping her gaze from the sky, she looked forward, towards camp. _…and I owe it to her…for opening my eyes…to make sure you know that…  
_  


* * *

There were no thoughts going through his head. There was just a suddenly realization of consciousness. And a burst of pain that seemed to come from every fiber of his being._ …u—ugh…w—what…? _He felt something solid and hard behind his head and back and something bumpy where his lower body was sitting. His mouth was dry and it took him a long time to open his eyes.

It was just blurry colours and moving lines that did nothing to answer his internal question. _…where…? _His head was pounding and he found himself closing his eyes again. _…where…am I? _He felt his grip on consciousness beginning to fade as the pain he felt moments earlier lessened. _…Hyne…what…? _

He could barely feel himself breathing or hear his heart beat. _…am I…dying…? _His body felt sticky and somewhat empty and weak. He opened his eyes again, fighting the comfort of slipping away, forcing himself to wake up because he couldn't die yet. He couldn't fade away. Because he…had to do something…he… _…where…?_

The moment he opened his eyes for a second time, there was a flash, a sharp intake of breath, and everything came back. He saw the storm, those creatures and Garden and…_her_…and Irvine and Zell and Selphie and Quistis and Xu and Nida fighting and fire and smoke and screams and lightning and—_Hyne! No! _

He tried to breathe, tried to take in a deeper breath, to scream or cry out for them, but the smoke and the fire made it too hard. He felt himself coughing, felt his stomach twist and turn, felt the winds whip around him, felt the large yellow eyes of the giant creature staring him down, getting ready to take him away and he felt that last squeeze on his fingertips before she…she—_NO! NO! _

He stopped himself from crying out at the intensity of the memories. His heart hammered in his chest, it hurt too much to breathe, and he blinked hard, stubbornly refusing that any of that had happened. _No! NO! She…They…No! No, please! _The colours around him kept spinning, giving him a headache, showing the last minutes of his Garden over and over and over again. _No! NO! _

He had to keep fighting. It couldn't be over. He tried to move but every motion led to more blistering pain and screaming and blood and ash and death. _No! Get up! Get up now! _He had to move. He didn't have time to sit around. _Get up, dammit! Get up and fight! _His body twitched, trying to find the handle of Lionheart, trying to call up another spell, but he was dizzy and tired and nauseous and weak and his vision kept sliding out of focus.

He tried to get up, to move back towards the giant creature that was staring him down to finish it off. It couldn't be over. Not like this. He was SeeD; this was not acceptable. He had to fight. _Get up! _Slowly, the blurred edges of his vision and his consciousness began to clear and the colours stopped showing the last minutes of Garden. Instead, it showed a brick wall in front of him, a cobblestone walkway underneath him and a light post to his right.

As he took in his new surroundings, all adrenaline left his body and he remained slumped against the wall. This wasn't right. This wasn't Garden's balcony or Garden's infirmary. _…what…? _He was supposed to keep fighting. He had to protect them. He was SeeD, that was his job, that was what he was trained to do. They couldn't have…won, could they?

_No…No, Hyne…Please…It can't be gone…it can't be over…_His head fell forward slightly, dropping into his chest, as his body shook to take a breath. As his eyes fell close, nearly rolling back into his head, he saw the image of her face, crying, as she tried to hold onto his hand, even though she was too far away. _No…N—No…they can't…she…can't be… _His heart began to hammer again, completely forgetting that he was no longer in any danger.

Pain flooded his body as he became more awake and tried to move to grab onto her. But his arm did not listen. _NO! Get up! Get up, NOW! You have to find them! They can't be…They're here! Get up! GET UP! _He mind screamed at his body to move, to do something, _anything_, because wherever he was, however he got here, didn't matter. He still had to fight. He had to fight because it couldn't be over yet. He wouldn't accept that failure. He had to keep fighting for them.

If he was here, they had to be here. He had to find them.

He tried to move his body forward, to use his arms to push himself up, to get ready to stand, but found that his left arm was useless. And when he put any weight on it, or tried to move it, white, hot pain flashed under his eyes. He trembled and tried to channel a Cura through his body, tried to get Shiva to help him, but his mind remained quiet and empty. His body began to panic, hyperventilating, even though it hurt to breathe, and he wondered if he was going through shock. _No! Not now! Please! GET UP! _

Moving his legs slowly, dragging them into position, he tried another way to get up. Gritting his teeth, refusing to make a sound, he brought his feet flat against the floor and pushed up with his legs. He got as far as a squatting position before almost falling forward. He leaned back against the wall, panting out of overexertion. The pain was immense and he pleaded with Shiva, Diablos, the Brothers, Ifrit, _anyone_, to help him, but got no response. No ice, no fire, no cure. _D—Dammit…Please…I need…Help me…I have t—to…find them…They can't be gone! No! Please!_

His head titled up, looking for the Guardians, but instead saw the dark sky with no stars. There were no clouds, no storm and it was…nighttime. But it had been in the afternoon when…when…_that_…happened…hadn't it? _…where…? _His mouth dropped open as he tried to breath, tried to piece together what had happened, tried to understand where he was and why he was alone. _…w—what…? _His body felt too heavy and there was no adrenaline left. He didn't know where he was. It wasn't Garden. Or anywhere else he could remember. He felt so tired and uncertain and unsure, but wasn't he SeeD? Shouldn't he be able to do something? Wasn't he trained for this? Waking up in unknown territory?

He tried to focus, tried to gather his surroundings, but all those thoughts stopped when he felt something warm trickle down his left side. He vaguely wondered if he was going to bleed out before he could move. Was he going to die? Was this _it_? Was _that _the very best he could do? Was all of that…over? His heart began to pound at the mere thought. Was all of that…gone?

He squeezed his eyes shut, refusing his tears. _N—no… _It couldn't be over…just because he woke up in a strange place didn't mean that the Garden was gone…No. It couldn't. His life…All of _that _and _there _and _him _and…_her_…They couldn't be…He choked on a sob, still trying to remain quiet, as he remembered the battle. That last battle. Their last shot to rid their world of the dark creatures that seemingly popped up out of nowhere. He stared down the biggest yellow-eyed creature but couldn't…couldn't…The next thing he knew the winds were blowing and he tried to hold onto her but…but… _…I…failed… _

The realization hit him so hard that he barely felt the pain from his left arm. _I failed… _The logical part of his brain kicked into gear. _They…It's……g—gone…It's…all gone… _His body trembled again and nearly lost its squatting position. He took in a shaky breath and lowered his head from the sky. _But…They have to…If I'm…here… …they have to… _He looked down at his bloody and dirty and ripped clothing, trying to focus and think coherently. _You need…to get up. Now. Up. Dammit, GET UP!_

With the hope he had left, he used his right hand, clutching at the wall and slowly brought himself upright on shaky legs. _Garden…may be gone……but…people…can't just…vanish…_He moved his eyes slowly, not wanting to bring on a dizzy spell, and stayed still for a few seconds. It was then he realized that his left arm was hanging too far down his body. He squeezed his eyes shut as every little movement made pain flare up on his dislocated limb. _Dis—Dislocated…left arm…Ribs…broken… _He made a mental note of all his injuries by feeling. _…and something's…bleeding… _

Taking in another shaky, painful breath, he took a step forward. He waited until the pain ebbed away, before taking another, right hand still gripping the wall as tightly as it could. _…no…magic…no Guardians…_ He squeezed his eyes closed in frustration as he realized that he was missing something else important. _…no…Lionheart either… _He kept his jaw locked, still not trying to make a sound, because everything still _hurt _like hell and he wondered if this was Hell, the place where people like him would go when they died.

His body trembled as he neared the exit of the alleyway, towards the main road that it branched out from. No wonder he felt so empty and weak, he had nothing on him anymore. No Guardians for extra strength, no magic in his veins, no weapon on his side…

The memory of the battle suddenly came back, reminding him that Lionheart was flung somewhere when he tried to fight the giant creature. After he failed to deliver that final blow, that final attack that might have stopped _this _from happening. This waking up in a strange place all alone. _Stop…thinking about it. Think about…what you have to do now…You need to find them. You _need _to find them. So, stop. Just stop. Focus. _

His mouth was dry and it hurt to swallow. He tasted copper in his mouth but ignored it. _You need to find them. You _need _to find them, dammit. Wherever you are, it isn't Garden…and they must have been brought here too… _And while he wanted to know why and how and who had brought them here after…after _that_…he knew that it had to wait. Because if _he _was here, they had to be here too. Somewhere. And he needed to find them.

Because he didn't want to be alone anymore.

Right arm gripping the corner of the wall of the alleyway, he pulled himself out from the area he woke up in. He wondered how long it took him because the sky seemed to be lightening. _…morning…? _At the alleyway's opening, he saw more street lamps, more cobblestone walkways with brick staircases and plants he couldn't name the genus or the species of. _…but…where…? _His heart began to hammer in his chest as his lack of knowledge made his anxiety swell. There were shops, all brightly decorated, with names he had never seen before.

His legs nearly gave out from under him as his fatigue came in. Pushing his body to the wall for support, he calmed himself down. He was SeeD. He could figure this out. They were counting on him and they couldn't be gone because what had _he_ done to be spared death? He just had to focus. He trembled a little as his broken ribs made breathing difficult. His mind scrambled with possibilities, with scenarios, _anything_, to think of an explanation for all of this. Because even if he was magically transported here by a last-ditch effort from his Guardians to save him, where was _here_? And why _here_?

He groaned in frustration and tried to move again. This place reminded him of Winhill. But he knew it couldn't be Winhill because it wasn't the same. _Dammit…where…the hell…am I? _He had been around the world, on missions, for training…he had practically walked through all the continents his map had to offer…But then…why couldn't he recognize this place…? _…where—?_

His knees knocked together and that was the only signal he got before his legs could no longer support his weight. The wind was practically knocked out of him and all he could do was collapse against the wall against. _…Dammit…I need…I need… _His eyes scanned over the town that was slowly starting to wake up around him. He couldn't move. He could barely breathe and he had no weapon to defend himself. And he was alone. _No…Please, get up! Get up! You need to get up now! _

The scene around him began to get more and more blurry, but he forced himself to stay awake. Because if he was here, then they must be here…they _had _to be…and maybe they can move and they'll find him… _Please…Please…It can't…be over… _Slumped up against the wall, he kept his eyes downcast. He didn't want to fight anyone and didn't want to start something. He didn't want anyone's help. He just wanted them to find him. All he wanted was to see them again. _…please…Irvine…Zell…Selphie…Quistis…Rinoa… _

If he called for them, they would come. That's what they said. That's what they promised him. _…P—Please… _He didn't want to face this alone. Not now. If Garden was gone, he didn't want to face that alone. And if that made him weak and pathetic, then so be it. He wanted them to find him. _Please… _That's all he really wanted.

His breathing was getting more shallow, he noticed, and he knew that he wouldn't be in the realm of consciousness much longer. After what he had done, after he had _failed_, he figured he probably didn't deserve to be that lucky. _P…Please…I'm…I'm… _He coughed again, wincing from the pain in his ribs, ignoring the taste of copper, and slowly let his eyelids drop. _…I'm sorry… _

"—Oh my gosh! Quick! CID!! GET OVER HERE!"

* * *

LIKE, OMG.

Well, the main reason why I was really excited for this chapter was because I thought I was going to put in the ENTIRE dream in this one area. However, it's going to be split into two chapters (because this was getting too damn long)…BUT BASICALLY, I was really excited to write a 'how Squall met Yuffie' side-story. This is the beginning!

I've seen a few fanfics dedicated to 'how Squall met Yuffie' (which were oneshots) and they were okay…This is my try! =D Angst and all! Hope you guys liked it!! There's more coming! ((Squall's memories of the last battle can be read in my other fic, 'Leon', for those who are interested))

Now, sadly, the other half of this story will be coming up at some point in June. I know, I know…But I have exams to focus on. I have FIVE of them…all spaced really closely, so I _really _have to study. But because I have this side-story really planned out, it'll be written in like, an hour!

PLEASE REVIEW!


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!): **If I could hug you all, I would! Your comments make me happy! Hope you enjoy this one!

* * *

Even though his eyes were closed, and his head was spinning because he had to get up and go find them and all he could see was that storm again, he could still sort of hear the sound of footsteps coming closer to him. They were light and soft, but with a speed of urgency. The logical part of his brain that still held on to consciousness concluded that it was a woman who was rushing to meet him.

"Oh my God! Oh my God!" A feminine voice echoed around him, frantic and nervous and it sounded familiar but nearly unrecognizable because the sounds of the storm were muting her. "Hey! HEY! Wake up! Don't sleep!"

A weak cough escaped his lips and the grey and the black and the white and the brown and the red colours around him stopped moving. _…who…? _His body stirred, trying to move but the pain returned and he slouched against the wall again. _…No…Just…get up! Get up, dammit! _His mouth was dry, but he knew that if he called for them, they would come. Because they were here. They had to be. And he didn't want to be alone anymore. "…R…R—…Rinoa…"

His voice sounded so different and he wasn't even sure he was talking, but their names slipped off his tongue. Because they would come if he called for them. _…please… _"I—Irvine…Zell…" His voice cracked and his throat was raw and suddenly, the grey and the black and the white and the brown and the red under his eyelids fused together to remind him of that void after Time Compression. And how he walked and walked and called out for them with his heart hammering in his chest with that gripping fear of being alone. "…Sel—Selphie…Qu—Qu…Quistis……please…" They had to be here. They had to be. Garden was gone and he couldn't be alone now. Not now.

And that's when the feather came. And that's when, finally, he woke up in the field of flowers where they had promised to meet, with the purple and the pink and the white and the yellow flowers with the blue and the black of her. _…Please… _The Time Compression void slowly fizzed out from under his eyelids when the other woman, who had rushed over to him, grabbed his face and shook him lightly.

"Hey! Hey! Easy! Don't stress too much!" The voice said with a tone of happiness, obviously pleased he was talking. _…who…? _"Come on, open your eyes! Don't sleep yet!"

_R…Rinoa… _His heart picked up its pace in his chest at the thought of her. At that last, fleeting look they had shared before the storm took her away…She had to be here. But the hands that touched his face were too small. Too rough. And the voice he heard didn't sound like her at all. It was too young. A different pitch. Or maybe it was just being distorted because of the sounds of the storm. _…Rinoa… _He groaned, not wanting to open his eyes, not wanting to verify his fear of still being alone, but knew that he had to, if he wanted any hope of finding them. Because now was not the time to sleep. He had a job to do and it didn't matter if he woke up in a different place and didn't know how he got there. _…so…get…up…Get up…now… _He had to find them.

His eyes fluttered opened, seeing blurs of black and skin and…orange and beige…and he knew that wasn't right. That wasn't what any of them were wearing. The voice interrupted his thoughts with encouragement, as the colours began to spin a little bit. "Good! Keep them open! Get focused!"

He watched her blurry hand make a motion in front of his face and because the sound was delayed for some reason, he realized a few seconds later that she was snapping her fingers. Slowly, the edges and her features got clearer, the background noise and the lightning and the fire and the smoke and the yellow eyes disappeared, and his heart sank. It plummeted into his stomach and he couldn't breathe. Even though he was staring at a pair of dark eyes, it wasn't Rinoa. Or Xu. _…w—who…?_

Another weak cough came and he winced, his broken ribs still present. _No…please…I need… _"R—R…" His voice cracked, knowing that no matter how many times he would say her name, the person in front of him would not change into her. The petite woman who crouched low on the ground in front of him, looking him over, a mass of colour on her outfit with a large four-pointed throwing star on her back would not change into the person he wanted to see _…Hyne…w—who…?_

He stared at her, watching his vision come back to him, and he blinked, trying to stay awake and his effort must have shown on his face because he watched her face smile a little bit. "Hey." She spoke softly, her voice losing the frantic edge because he had finally regained consciousness and was strong enough to hold onto it.

He blinked at her, mouth dry and unable to form words. His heart was pounding and he _knew _that he had to get up and go find them because they were waiting for him. Counting on him. _…so…get up…get up now… _Whatever had happened before this didn't matter, as long as he found them. _…get…up… _But his limbs were too heavy. And the usual control he had over his body was gone because he had nothing on him. Even the order in his head sounded weak. But he couldn't just give up on them like that. What kind of friend would do something like that—?

"—What's your name?"

He wasn't even looking at the woman in front of him anymore and he ignored her question. He stared at the cobblestones to his right, the lamppost, the foliage, anything to get his head off the fact that he was alone. That Garden was gone and that he failed at protecting them. That he was in a strange place with strangers. That this woman in front of him wasn't Rinoa or Xu or Selphie or Quistis or Matron…_…I have to…get up! Get up, now! _His mind, already made up, forced his legs to move. If he could just get up into a standing position and use the wall as his support, he could find them. And they could figure this out and find a way to get out of this place and—

"—Hey! Come on, now! Don't be rude! I asked you a question!" There was a playful tone in her voice that made her seem younger than what she probably was. She was being awfully persistent and he could tell that she wouldn't let up. He heard an underlying tone of concern in her voice and a logical part of his mind told him that she was just trying to keep him talking. After all, wasn't he the one who was bleeding out and probably going through shock?

His head rolled back to center, locking eyes with the woman. It hurt to breathe and his skin was sticky and wet with blood. She stared back at him and he wondered what she was waiting for. Was she honestly waiting for an answer at a time like this…?

He eyed her suspiciously, mind switching gears for a moment. _Why…does she want to know…my name…? What does…that matter…? _He exhaled nosily, blinking hard, and tried to speak. He felt his rib cage trying to expand to get enough air into his vocal chords, but the burning where his ribs no longer connected made his voice fall short. "…W—Where…?" His tongue felt like sandpaper, his voice sounded miles away and not like it usually did, and from the slight grimace on her face, which was mostly covered up by her surprise that he had actually started talking, he figured his teeth were lined with red.

There was a sparkle in her eyes as she leaned in closer towards him. "…You're in Traverse Town." There was something behind that sparkle, though, something he didn't quite understand, as if being in this place was something terrible. _…what…? _He had never heard of this place before and he blinked again. His body shifted a little bit, still trying to stand, but his brain was still trying to process all the information that was coming in far too fast. _…where…the hell…am I?_

"So, what's your name?" She asked again, after a pause, trying to catch his eyes again. "I'm Yuffie."

…_Yuffie… _He frowned, never hearing a name like that before. It was a foreign name, with the sounds of the vowels and the stresses so different from what he was used to. His mouth opened and closed a few times but his voice didn't come out. What would be the point of telling her his name? He had to go. He had to find them. He had a job to do. He was SeeD, he was supposed to protect them and keep them safe. He had to get up and get out of this town so that he could find them. _…why…does she want…to know my name…?_

His dry lips stayed stuck together and he refused to answer her. He was in an alien place and was taking every precaution necessary. He was SeeD. He didn't know who she was. And a part of him didn't want to stay around here to find out. He had to get up and go find the others. They had to figure this out. Together. Because he didn't want to be stuck alone with strangers. He didn't want to have a name or a connection to this place because this place wasn't home. It wasn't Garden. It wasn't where he belonged. He had to find them so that they could go back.

He watched her as she titled her head slightly to the left and pouted. "How about I strike up a deal with you, hmm? You tell me your name, and I'll heal you like magic!"

"…N…N—No…" His voice finally came to him, after three wordless tries. He had to get up. He had to go find them. They were counting on him. And it didn't matter where he was, as long as he was with them. As long as he could find them, his failure to protect them wouldn't matter, none of this would matter. None of _that _would matter. He had to find them. _So……get…up! Now! Get up! _

"No?!" The woman blinked incredulously, but he didn't pay attention to her surprised face. "What do you mean, _no_?"

He saw his vision move from left to right as he shook his head at her. He didn't want her help. He didn't need it. He just needed to find them. And then, they could figure this out. And they could understand where all their magic and Guardians and weapons went and find ways to get more. He felt his legs shift from under him, moving into position to push himself off the wall. "N…No." He repeated, body seemingly moving of its own accord.

"Hey! Hey! Don't move yet! You're still hurt!" He ignored her and continued to bring himself upright. He did not make eye contact with her and used his right arm to pull himself against the wall. He had to get out of here. Wherever here was. And even though a part of him wanted to know where exactly _here _was, in the context of the universe and planets and oceans and land masses, he had to go. They were waiting. And he knew that when he called for them, they would come. They promised.

"HEY! Are you even _listening _to me?!" She wasn't very tall, just barely up to his shoulders, but she insisted on pointing a finger in his face. "You sit back down this instant!"

"N—No." He wished he could tell her to go away, that he didn't need her help, that he was sure at least _one _of them would have their magic with them, but his lips refused to move past that one syllable. He didn't have time for this. This wouldn't mean anything when he found them. He could worry about _this _later. He had to find them. He had to go.

"—Yuffie, WHAT?!" Another voice sounded to his left and on instinct, his SeeD instinct, he turned his head. A taller man, blonde, unshaven, with a toothpick in his mouth with no weapon appeared from around the corner. He assumed that this man was the one she had called for earlier. He had moved his head too fast, however, and he felt another headache coming on, with dizziness and nausea and he watched the colours spin a bit.

"CID! Jeeze! Any slower and this guy would've been dead!" He heard her voice angrily call out to the other man. He felt his body begin to slump again, slowly losing its energy, and it took all of his mental strength to stay upright. He had to get out of here. He had to move. _So…go! Find them! You…have to…find them! _

He was barely aware that the heavy footsteps were getting closer. He was too focused on forcing his legs to move and to stay standing and to keep his eyes on the cobblestones so that he wouldn't fall and have to try to get back up again. _So…move! Go! _He felt his body listen, slowly turning right and away from the woman named Yuffie and the man named Cid. He had to go. _…They…have to be here…_

"HEY! Hold it!" The voice was close and the footsteps had stopped. He didn't listen to the man's order either, because they weren't his superiors or part of SeeD or part of Garden. He owed them nothing. He didn't belong here. He had to find them. He had no connections here and all he had to do was get walking and keep moving no matter what—

—There was suddenly white, hot pain that consumed his body as his dislocated arm was roughly pulled back. A hoarse cry escaped his lips and he watched his line of sight sink as he fell to his knees. His squeezed his eyes shut, grit his teeth and tried to move out of the man's grip as the pain continued to flare, racking over his entire body.

And while his mind was trying to think of attack combinations and maneuvers that he could use in this situation, to get him out of the man's grip, to get the pain to stop because he had to get up and find them, he heard music. Music that sounded familiar to him that was followed by a ringing in his ears. With the logical part of his brain stubbornly trying to ignore the pain of everything but it couldn't because it was _so _much, he heard violins and clarinets and flutes and he knew it was dangerous because there were no instruments around him, just them arguing and echoing around him—

"—OH MY GOD, CID! YOU'RE _KILLING _HIM! YOU—!"

"—_What_?! You haven't cured him yet—?"

"—Totally not the point! STOP IT!"

—At a sudden crescendo in the music, his arm was released, and he fell to the ground. The music stopped when the side of his face smacked loudly against the cobblestones, his mind going completely blank as the pain consumed him. He immediately clutched at his arm, trying to hold it level and trying to keep the pain away and trying not to cry out every time the knives stabbed at his nerves.

His lips were pursed tightly and his eyes never opened. He had to get out of here. He had to move. _D—Dammit…my…a—arm… _He felt his legs curl up slightly, and he was reminded of the time Irvine had randomly explained to him the evolutionary instinct of the fetal position…that time on the Ragnarok when they were moving towards Balamb. He could hear Irvine's voice loudly in his ears and could picture him sitting next to him in the cockpit of the Ragnarok as Selphie flew the ship…

He wondered why he remembered that now, of all times. He was in a strange place, alone and injured and unable to do anything because Shiva and Diablos and the Brothers were gone. He was still bleeding and he was cold and he couldn't move, so why would he think of that conversation when it gave no help to him? _…H—Hyne…_

He couldn't feel his limbs anymore, which was good because the pain began to lessen, but he knew it was bad. His training told him so. It was just as bad as hearing music that wasn't playing or reliving parts of his memories as if they were happening again. He grit his teeth and struggled against the wash of memories that were invading his mind because he couldn't lose consciousness now. He had to hold on. For them. Because he had to find them.

His mind was elsewhere, scrambling to make sense of everything, going between conversations they had and the pain and the moments he wanted back, but he flinched when he felt the too small hands touch his face. "N—No!" He shouted, nearly trembling, being thrust back into reality. His mind was a mess of commands and memories and instinct and SeeD training and biology and physics and he wondered how much blood he had lost and how much time he would have left. To find them. To get to them. Because they had to figure this out together. He felt sticky and cold and a part of him wondered where they were and why they hadn't gotten here yet. _…R…Riona… _

"Just hold still, okay?" He heard Yuffie's voice, or at least, he was pretty sure it was her voice because now, he could see Rinoa in her champagne coloured dress and she was asking him to dance, over the sounds of the music. He felt her hands leave his face, heard Cid say something, but they were getting farther and farther away. He wondered how much time he had. How much time he had lost. And he wondered where they were. And if they were as hurt as he was. If they were shaking and hearing music and feeling _this_. _…Rinoa… _

His mind snapped back to the fleeting sight of her tear-streaked face in the storm and he almost choked on air. Garden was gone. It was gone. And he had that last chance…that opportunity…He could see it all under his eyelids again and it squeezed at his heart because he failed. He remembered everything now, time squishing his memories together, cramming everything in before and after the orphanage, the Garden, the dance, his missions, the fields, the dance, his dormitory, the trains, the forests…all of it rushing past him, not allowing him to hold onto anything and keep focus and stay in reality. Everything else about his life rushed past with a tiny white dot in the middle of it all.

And he wondered if he was dying. And where people like him would go when they died.

He could feel his heart slowing down, all adrenaline gone. He almost missed it, nearly slipping away to the fields of the purple and the pink and the yellow and the white flowers with the blue and the black of her, nearly moving into permanent unconsciousness, but he heard it. He heard Yuffie's voice say it. It was an echo. And then it all came rushing back.

"Abrakadabra—_Curaga_!"

There was a sudden intake of breath, a full breath, and he watched the colours under his eyelids get tinted with green. There was a pause, a still in time, and he didn't feel his arm popping back into place, or his ribs fusing back together, or his skin sewing up to stop the bleeding. It was strange, but familiar, and suddenly the pain was gone. All of it.

He blinked once, his vision returning in perfect clarity with no more memories, and he realized that he was okay. His mind was quiet and he stayed on the ground for a few more seconds before springing to his feet. He looked around again, checking his surroundings, seeing the shops and the street lamps and the cobblestones without the headache or pain. But, even with every aliment cured, the colours and the people standing in front of him were still foreign. Wherever Traverse Town was, he concluded, he had never been here before. And almost immediately, his heart began to hammer again.

He was still alone. With strangers. And the Garden was still gone.

And they weren't here yet.

His head snapped back to the strangers when Yuffie spoke again, bringing him out of his assessment. "See? Like a magic trick! All better, right?"

He frowned at her, his mind stopping with his voice coming out before he could stop it. "That's not a trick. That's Curaga."

After some shock, elation came over her face, and Yuffie clapped her hands together. "Oh! Good! I won't have to explain that to you then!"

He clenched his teeth together. _What…is going on…? Who are these people…? How do they have…? Where did Balamb Garden go?! _He felt his hands turn to fists in his frustration. What good was his cure when he still had no answers?

"Where the hell am I?" His voice was cold and calm, just as it should be, just as it was trained to be. He supposed he should have used a better tone since they had just used a powerful spell to save his life, but he was too stressed to give a damn right now.

Yuffie looked at him curiously before repeating herself. "You're in Traver—"

"—No." He interrupted, voice still cold, spitting out his question slower, "Where. Am. I?" He was no longer making eye contact as his head was still checking his surroundings, making sure that he would see them if they suddenly turned a corner. _They…have to be here…They have to be… _They had to come. They had to be here. They promised. His heart, pumping loudly in his chest, fuelled his uncertainty, his fear, his failure because he was alone. And if he couldn't find them, he would be alone, and it would be his fault.

In his peripherals, he could see a change in Yuffie's optimistic face. But he didn't care. He just needed information. He needed to get information so that he could leave and go find them. Then he could worry about the Garden and all of that. Just right now, he had to understand, so that he could go find them and they could work this out together.

The man, Cid, took a step towards him, folding his arms across his chest. He kept his frown, but it matched by the blonde man. "I want to know where I am." He asked again, keeping his demeanor cold. He sized up the potential threat; he was a bit shorter than he was, with no weapon, but the muscles on his arms were probably enough to send him to the ground if they hit.

"You're in Traverse Town." Cid said plainly, removing the toothpick from his teeth.

Eyeing Cid carefully, he took a step towards him. Enough of this. He had to know. _Where…is my home…?_ "And where's that?"

Before any more tension could mount, Yuffie's small frame came into his line of vision. "…you…remember…?" Her voice was soft and quiet and…almost afraid…and surprised and saddened at that possibility. He frowned at her, not understanding, but then again, he wasn't understanding anything now, was he?

He frowned at her statement. "What—?"

"—You're in Traverse Town, scar-face. Get used to it." Cid's voice interrupted his question and he turned back to him.

Yuffie's voice called out incredulously a few seconds later. "CID! Don't say it like that!"

"And what's that supposed to mean?" His tone was low, not appreciating the nickname, and he took a step towards the man, heart racing. He didn't want to believe him, because he had to go back, after he found them, but then again, why would they lie? _…but…I have to…go back…I don't…belong here…_ When silence followed, his fists tightened. He had to know. He had to know so that when he found them they could formulate a plan to get out of here because they had to go home. "Dammit! Answer me!"

It was Yuffie again who came between them. He looked down at her, seeing her dark eyes swell with tears. Her tone nearly made his heart stop. "You're in Traverse Town…it's a place where…people come when their homes fall…to the darkness…" She paused, looking away from him for a second. "…and you…remember that…don't you?"

_What…? _Again, there was something in her eye that he didn't understand. Of course he remembered, but what did that have to do with anything? Garden was gone, those dark creatures with the yellow-eyes attacked and…and… _The…darkness…? …my home…fell to the darkness…? _The shock and confusion must have been on his face because Cid's frown disappeared. He took a step back. _…but where…is Balamb…? …and where are the rest of them…?_

Yuffie looked up at him and he could still see that look. As if it was something terrible that he remembered all of that. "…Look, we're here to help, okay? Just…stay calm…we'll explain everything…What's…what's your name?"

His heart was hammering in his chest, but his mind was already working on his own explanation, smoothly and efficiently, just like it was trained to do in situations like this. _…But, if I'm here…and all people come here when their homes…fall…to those dark…things…then, they have to be here too… _The words the woman and man said made no sense to him because how can places just disappear? Just vanish like nothing? And why would he wind up here, of all places, if his home was destroyed? And where was here, anyway? Where on his planet Earth was here?

His frown returned with all his new questions, but his fists relaxed. He would have time to think about that later, once he found the rest of them. They had to be here. People and places just don't vanish like nothing. _…we'll get back home…to Balamb…together…even if Garden's gone, we'll get back...we have to… _He blinked a few times, realizing that Yuffie was still looking at him, waiting for his answer.

He sighed, debating whether or not to reveal his name to strangers, but then again, they had used a powerful spell for him…They had saved his life when they didn't have to. He sighed again. He straightened his spine and squared his shoulders. "…Squall. My name is Squall Leonhart."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Squall." Cid mumbled uninterested, refolding his arms across his chest. The blonde shrugged at him after an elbow jab from the woman. "Sorry about grabbing your arm and all."

"Whatever." He looked back to the man before turning away from the both of them, moving towards one of the many stairwells in front of him. _…that doesn't matter…I have to find them…I don't need their help…I'll do this myself…_A possible outcome of his search rattled his brain, but he ignored it. _…I will find them……I have to find them……because I don't want to be alone anymore…_

"Hey! Wait! Where're you going?!" He heard Yuffie call out to him, but he ignored her. He had people to find. And he would find them. And he would explain himself and apologize and they would all find a way to get out of here and get their weapons and Guardian Forces back. Because people don't just vanish, right?

He walked up the stairs and did not turn back to the man and the woman. The shops and colours began to blur around him and slowly faded to black as Squall opened his eyes.

There was a sharp intake of breath and it took him a few seconds to realize where he was. The sheets and the pillow told him he was in bed and the wood paneled ceiling reminded him of his exact location. And how he had gotten there. Exactly how he had gotten there.

Everything. It was black and it was yellow and now it had a name.

…_Oh…Hyne…_ He immediately sat up, wincing from the throb in his temples as the blood rushed to his head. He pinched the bridge of his nose since the dam was no longer there and he remembered. _Oh Hyne…what…have I done…? _He threw the covers off his body before letting his bare feet touch the floor. His last conversation with her was replaying over and over and over again in his head and not even Irvine's snoring could drown it out.

He remembered it all now. Sora and Kingdom Hearts, the Heartless, Gummi Ships, Navigation Blocks, how Zell and Quistis were waiting for him back at Hollow Bastion and…and…His hands began to shake a little bit as his last conversation with Yuffie kept replaying in his head. …_what…have I done…? …how…could I say that…to Yuffie…?_

He slowly stood up, his heart pounding, and he found it hard to breathe. All the information that this reunion had kept from him returned, and it was something horrible. _…how could I say that…to her? _He walked slowly, stepping on the creaky floorboards carefully, and made it to the entranceway of his room. He stayed at the doorframe for a few moments, trying to get his head to stop spitting out those images and words from the last day he was with her, because he didn't think he could handle that right now.

Because it was all there. Everything. He felt sick and he felt a familiar hand being to squeeze at his heart. Yes, now he was certain that there would be no Purgatory for him when he died, not for people like him. Not for people who act that way towards friends who helped them through the most difficult time in their life. Squall squeezed his eyes shut and wished that the floor would swallow him up. Because all he wanted to do now was to explode into a million pieces. If he even deserved that luxury. _…what have I done…?_

He remembered that last battle, the rainstorm, her indignant cry of hatred and his complete lack of compassion towards his friend. His friend. Someone who took him in when he had nothing left…when everything he had was gone…Someone who put up with his attitude and his actions… _Hyne…_He groaned at his behaviour. _…what the hell is wrong with me…?_

He shouldn't have said that. It was stupid and stubborn, but he was angry and frustrated and didn't understand why she _cared _so much about that, but that's not the point or an excuse. She was his friend and of course she gave a damn about him because that's what friends do. She knew that he pretended, that it still bothered him, and of course she would want to help him because she had done so in the past and isn't that what friends are for?

Squall blinked and sighed quietly. Nothing could take that back. Nothing. He said _that _and nothing could take it back now. It was selfish and inconsiderate and he knew now that he would never deserve her forgiveness for what he said and how he acted. _…Hyne…what the hell is wrong with me…?_ There must be something seriously wrong with him. _…what…can I do…now?_

Squall blinked again and looked around the main room for an answer. The fire was nearly out, and the room was illuminated with the moonlight more than its orange glow. He looked at the windows, seeing a tiny sliver of the moon from their perspective and wondered if the Gods could hear him. And help him. And answer him.

But the sky remained silent and mocking. Because what had he done to deserve their help?

He looked away, down and to his right, and felt the guilt rise in his stomach. _…what…can I do…now? What…can I say…? _He trembled slightly, remembering Yuffie's tear-streaked face before he asked her if she was happy now. _…what…is wrong…with me…? _A breeze came over to him, chilling him as it passed, and he realized then that the door to the house was open.

Squall looked up sadly, seeing Rinoa sitting there with her back to him, on the porch steps, with all the loose nails and uneven floorboards. The moonlight outlined one half of her body in white and cast shadows on the other. He wished he could appreciate this moment, because it was one of the ones he wanted back, but he couldn't. She was sitting there, beautiful and strong and almost glowing and he couldn't even look at her. His eyes went back to the floor and he let his guilt grow and he let his heart explode from the inside.

Because what had he done to deserve this?

* * *

WOW. This turned out to be a lot longer than I originally planned! I thought the dream would end earlier…and I would have put a Hollow Bastion part up in here…but WOW, that didn't happen.

Anyway, hope y'all liked my "How Yuffie met Squall" story. Let's just say that on his journey to find the others, he finds Lionheart in an alleyway not too far away from him. (shrug) Whatever. Hope it was angst-y enough. I personally think the ending's a bit rushed, but I'll get more into Squall's head in the next chapter, dontcha worry!

So, yay! My exams are done! Two out of five were A LOT harder than I anticipated, but, let us pray for the best. With THAT out of the way, you can expect faster updates (unless I tell you otherwise).

PLEASE REVIEW! (I really like reading what you think!)


	23. Chapter Twenty Three

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!): **Thanks again! Hope this chapter makes you tear up. Or not. lol

**WARNING: **This chapter is EXTREMELY LONG. 8 000 words long. So pace yourselves.

* * *

It was dark and it was cold and it was _empty_.

Now, it was official: she was alone again. Alone alone. And it wasn't like those times where she'd be next to someone in a room but they wouldn't really be aware of each other…it wasn't that kind of alone. This was really alone. And her being the only one in the Gummi Ship's cockpit solidified the word. She was all alone. _…stupid…jackass… _

Yuffie spun around in the driver's chair for the one hundred and thirteenth time, staring up through the dome in the cockpit and at the stars. Or lack thereof. She watched them move around her as she kept pushing the chair in circles. She had finished working but couldn't sleep. Her mind was a mess of chatter, but the only sound in the room was that of the pivot hinge on the chair, as her sobs had quieted on the fifty-ninth spin.

She had been counting since she starting spinning to keep her mind off crying and figured that if she kept this up, she would forget the hurt and would eventually forget how to cry. _…stupid…jackass…totally not worth it… _It had worked for him, hadn't it? Pretending? Throwing himself into work so that he would eventually just _forget _everything? Was that the only way to deal with stuff like this?

She sighed, still spinning, not knowing how to proceed. It had almost taken her all night, but the engine was reattached and functional. It was ready. All the spare gears and wires were found and put in their proper place. She had even returned all her supplies and the toolkit to the storage room, on the shelf, next to the extension cords. She could go at any time, even tomorrow morning like she had promised Cid, and leave him a note telling him to shove off and find his own way home.

Yuffie almost laughed at that word. _…Home…Hollow Bastion isn't 'home' to him……and I doubt Traverse Town ever was… _Another hard push with her feet and she spun around again, the tone in her head becoming even more bitter. _After all…that 'home' was just a convenience, right Squall? _

She could feel her anger rise in her throat again, but she willed it away. He wasn't worth the effort. Apparently, he never was. All the time she had spent on this…and now, he was gone. She sighed again. _…and everything else…after Traverse Town…after Sora…was just…nothing……I'm sure you're home now, though… _

Yuffie looked down from the stars and stared at the empty cockpit around her. It was dark, with only the moonlight filtering in. _…all these years…meant…nothing…_ As much as she wanted to believe Pocahontas when she told her that he didn't mean it, she just couldn't. His words burned a hole in her brain and unless he told her otherwise…

That part played out in her head again…that moment…that look in his eyes and that look on his face…_His poker-face was gone…He hides behind his poker-face all the time; that's the lie… _She didn't want to start crying again, but his words made her eyelashes wet. _…What he said…was underneath that…that must be the truth… He…kept that face up for so long because he never…wanted me to know…what he really felt……and him jumping…to escape the place that's just _so _horrible and terrible… _

After wiping her eyes in frustration, her hands balled into fists in her lap…but again, she willed her anger away. A part of her mind snapped back at her, asking her what would be the point in being angry with someone who doesn't give a rat's behind about her? Yuffie found herself frowning a little bit as she answered. _…nothing…absolutely nothing… _And that same part told her that there was no point in being mad at someone who wouldn't be coming back, anyway.

She put the heels of her feet on the floor at that thought, stopping her one hundredth and twenty-ninth spin mid-way. The seriousness of the situation came to her as the realization that he wasn't coming back returned. _…if he's…with her…there's no way… _Yuffie looked down at her feet as the possibility dawned on her; her excessive work on the broken engine had pushed that part out of her head entirely up until now. _…and I'll be…alone again when I get back to Hollow Bastion… _

She thought of Tifa and Aerith and Cloud. Being with them was one of those times where she'd be next to someone in a room but they wouldn't really be aware of each other…It was that kind of alone. And she hated it. It was stupid and awkward and too polite and formal and she could never get it to the way it was before because they were all there and nothing could change them back…She had that hope when Tifa hadn't arrived yet, but now…she would never get it back…

And while Cid was still Cid and he still remembered, he never liked to think back to the circumstances. He was perfectly happy living in the present, living as if his memory was like Cloud's or Aerith's. He would listen to her rant and rave about certain stories but would just nod or grunt in response. He never liked to talk about it, and while he was her friend and would uncomfortably pat her back when she cried about the stories and the friends they could never get back, he could only offer her a shoulder…because although he understood exactly what she was going through, he would rather keep the past away from the forefront. He had already let go.

Another sigh echoed in the empty control room and Yuffie felt her heart squeeze at the thought of her friends back home and him. Squall—or Leon, whatever—was also like Cid, never speaking of his story and being awkward and weird when she would get sad over stuff. But it was different with him. She could tell. There was always something there, under his poker-face, that told her that he always thought about it. That it always bothered him. And while he tried to be like Cid and tried not to care, there was always that look because he thought he did something terrible. Because he thought that he had failed and that it was his fault. _…and that's why…I'm here now… _Yuffie knew that look, knew that it hurt him, and she had to help. She just had to.

And while Cid would ignore her nostalgia completely, having been there before and no longer wanting to associate with that part of his life, Squall would listen patiently the first time around. She was sure of this, because he had the memory of an elephant, and would quickly spoil the ending of her story if he had heard her say it before…or repeat his advice the second-time around, much to his annoyance.

It had always bugged her that he never told her his story. That that one day in Traverse Town, where he mentioned them and his name, was the only thing she had. It was frustrating and she wanted to punch him so hard in the face and throw a fit, kicking and screaming, to get him to understand where she was coming from. She _had_ to talk about it or else her head would explode and if that made her annoying and weird, then so be it. Cid and Squall just had thicker skulls than she did and could keep it in better.

She had had a lot of pain in her life and that was the way it had to be dealt with. It had to be because that's the way she had been taught. And besides, keeping it in like that did them no good anyway; Squall was always moody and couldn't sleep and Cid was always grouchy. And sometimes, only sometimes, she would catch them on those particularly hard days when they would be quieter than usual. And she would see that look on their face…and while this would be the only time Cid would talk about it, Squall would still say nothing and keep pretending. …_But that's not how they should do it…_ They had to get it out and not hold it in at all. That's the way people are supposed to deal with stuff like that.

_Why…doesn't anyone listen to me…? _She folded her arms across her chest. _I'm not stupid…and this is something that I know what I'm talking about…and they still…don't take me seriously…because I'm just little ninja Yuffie who can't get her head on straight. _But wasn't she tired of crying and caring? After all, look where caring got her: in her quest to get Squall to understand how he had to get over his guilt, she was alone again. Wasn't she tired of this? Wasn't he the jerk who had yelled at her for trying to help him? Wasn't he the inconsiderate idiot who didn't even _thank _her for getting him this far?

Yuffie frowned as she thought of him. _Stupid jerk-face… _Right now, she knew that she should be happy, ecstatic even, that a jerk like him _wouldn't _be coming back. She should be _thrilled _that his attitude and standoffish-ness would now be Rinoa's problem. All his issues and cold shoulders and walls and inability to carry a conversation dealing with his past and his _feelings _would be the sorceress' trouble now…not hers. _…but……but…_

Her mind paused, thinking back to the times when it wasn't this complicated. When they would go on missions and talk about random stuff and the times when they would talk seriously and she would get him to slip up a tiny bit. A part of her mind scolded her, telling her that she was in denial and that she should just forget about him because what he said was inexcusable…_ …but…He's…my friend…he has to be…nobody's that heartless… _

His words replayed in her mind again and Yuffie shook her head, telling that part of her brain to shut-up, stubbornly telling that part of her brain that had ruled this conversation to take a hike. _No, I don't care what he said…If he wasn't my friend…why would he have saved my butt all those times against the Heartless? That couldn't have been obligation…I only really saved his life _once_. And he had stuck around for too long after my Curaga for it to be out of obligation…_

Other memories with him came back to her and her fingertips tingled when a particularly pleasant memory washed over her eyes. _…and he definitely wouldn't have bought me a sea-salt ice-cream in Twilight Town after that successful mission…_ Bringing her chin to her hands, Yuffie kept her eyes on the floor. _…if he wasn't my friend…he wouldn't have stayed with us for that long. If he felt that way…that we were a convenience…then why did he stay? Why did he come back…? Why bother with us when he could just have easily fought the Heartless on his own…for his own atonement…lone-wolf style, just like he apparently always wanted to?_

Her questions remained unanswered as she sat there, mindlessly pushing the seat to the left and then to the right with her feet. _…why bother…staying with us then? _She sat back, realizing sadly that even if these new explanations were true, it wasn't like she could ask him personally and she would never know. And if they weren't true, that would hurt even more, because that would mean that he actually meant it. _…if he's with Rinoa……The way Zell talked about the two of them…he wouldn't…_

…_he's not coming back… _She began to spin the chair again, not minding the dizziness. She watched the stars in the sky spin around her as that last thought kept repeating. Squall Leonhart was not coming back home with her. _…what will I say to the others…? _He wouldn't. He was with Rinoa, the woman he loved and that would make him the happiest man on the planet, wouldn't it? And he wouldn't give that up for the world, right? _… he's happy, right? He _must _be happy now, right? I mean…that was the point of all of this, right? For him to be happy?_

"…Squall…" Yuffie mumbled his name aloud as she spun. …She would miss him; that truth went against all the anger she had been feeling and it took her a while to acknowledge it. Even with all his moodiness and his hurtful words, she would miss him. They were good partners, the two of them. She had a long-range weapon and his was a close range one. She was fast, he was strong. She was instinct, he was structure. They were a good team. They were. _…and I just wanted him to be happy again……so that he could have that hope…or at least…come to terms with them…even if they didn't remember……because he deserves at least that…he's worked so hard and he deserves at least that… _

A part of her wished she could have seen his face when he saw her. _… people just don't vanish after all…_That moment. That brief moment when he finally believed it was real. She wondered if he had smiled. Or cried. Or kissed her. Or all three. Maybe in that order, too. _…I hope…he's happy… …wherever he is and whatever he's doing… _That same part of her brain scolded her again, telling her that she should be angry with him, not compassionate. She shouldn't be making excuses for him. She should be fuming and upset that he could even _say _that to her—even if he didn't mean it—and she should have left for home already.

But Yuffie was tired being angry right now. Because didn't someone tell her that the path of hatred was not worth following…? Maybe in the morning, after some sleep, she'll be angry again. But she was tired of being hateful. _…it's too much energy… _

She watched the stars for some time, keeping her mind still, just staring. There was a pause in her spinning and she frowned slightly as a new one fell up into the sky. _…what…? _It took her a second to realize what had happened and to get her brain completely off the subject it had been dwelling on._ …OH! Quick! Make a wish! _Yuffie squeezed her eyes shut but frowned again when a wish did not immediately come to her. _Shooting stars only have a limited period for the wish to work…so come on! Think! Wish something!_

Of course, she knew the reason why the wish didn't come easily. What she wanted, what she really wanted, would be a contradiction to what he wanted. Her lips quivered a little bit, but she made her wish anyway, not thinking of the possible paradox that could happen in the universe which may cause it to implode on itself or something, because she didn't want to waste a perfectly good shooting star. She said it in her thoughts as loudly as possible, knowing that he would roll his eyes at her because he's the one that doesn't believe in all that nonsense. _…I wish that Squall Leonhart could tell me, for real, that he didn't mean it… _

She sat back in her chair and opened her eyes again. She knew that shooting stars, especially the ones that shoot up, aren't really magical. Sora was just doing his job and while it was a time to rejoice, it certainly wouldn't make wishes come true. But Yuffie shrugged at her reason and logic and explanation. That really wasn't her forte anyway.

She just wanted to smile again.

And if she had to rely on magical stars this time around, instead of chicken bones, eyelashes or four-leaf clovers, then that's fine.

* * *

He squeezed his eyes shut, looking away from Rinoa and letting his guilt eat away at his insides. Because he deserved that. He deserved every piece of this agony. Because this reunion, with Rinoa, one of the moments he had always wanted, what had he _done_ to deserve that happiness? He had yelled at Yuffie, had gotten angry at her for no fault of her own, dismissed her efforts and stubbornly refused her help.

It was his punishment, he supposed, this pain, this unrelenting guilt, since he seemed incapable of doing anything right. It seemed to be his fate as well, even though he never believed in that nonsense, to lose everyone that was close to him. _…Hyne…what…do I do…? _

He knew he had to go back. He had to leave. He had to go back there, to her, and tell her everything and apologize, even though he didn't deserve her forgiveness or her kindness or her help anymore. He would have to leave Rinoa and Irvine and everything else that he wanted back so badly because he had to make that right. Because that was important too. They were important to him. He wanted that back too, even though he was sure that people like him couldn't have both. Because he had been alone and had been _afraid _and they took him in and helped him when he couldn't walk around anymore. _Hyne…how could I…?_

Although he never really said it, and probably should have told her more often, he would be forever grateful for what they did for him. They were his friends…they gave his life another purpose. Another chapter. And although he equated it to his work and his punishment for losing _them _in his outburst and in his mind when he couldn't sleep, it wasn't true. It wasn't. He hadn't meant to say that. Fighting the things that took _them _away from him soon became something more than gaining the redemption he sought. They were there, with him, and they backed him up and stood at his side, and although he never took her on her offer, because he thought it wouldn't do him any good, they were there to listen, too.

He didn't want to burden anyone, he didn't want to burden these people who took him in and helped him. He didn't want to tell them his story because he failed and he didn't want them to think any less of him, but since when had he ever cared what people thought of him? He didn't want to talk about it because he didn't want to feel the way he felt when he woke up, so helpless and vulnerable and afraid and alone and weak...and he believed he could forget and get over it and start over and redeem himself that way to make up for his failure to protect them. Because isn't that what he wanted to begin with? To forget?

—_And look where all your hard work has gotten you, Commander Leonhart…You wanted to forget them because it was easier to believe they were dead, right? How very noble of you, Commander…_

—_Shut up… _...They were too important to throw away. That life, those people, were not worthless or pointless. They were important to him. They were his friends. And they cared for his well-being. And Yuffie cared for his well-being, even if he refused to acknowledge that there was something wrong. Which is why he had to leave and make it right. He had to leave and make everything right again. He would not screw this up. _…I've made…enough mistakes already…_He would make this right. He had to.

—_If you think that two little words can make this all better, think again._

—_I said shut up. _Squall's bottom lip trembled and he wondered where Yuffie was. And what she was doing. And what she would do when she saw him again. And what _he _would do when she was standing in front of him. _Hyne… _He hung his head as he continued to stand at the doorway, unable to move forward. More questions rattled his mind, making his heart hammer again in his chest. What would he say to Rinoa? What could he tell her? And what would she think of him afterward? What would she say to someone who did that to his friends?

He squeezed his eyes and grit his teeth, forcing himself to be calm, forcing his heart to stop beating so loudly and stopping the fear from paralyzing him because that's what gets you killed. He was too old for this. He thought he would have learned how to do these things by now. He was too old to not be able to act in these types of situations. Squall swallowed thickly and focused, trying to stop thinking about all the mistakes and trying to stop his body from trembling. There had to be a way to fix this. There had to be a solution. All the variables were there, he had the equation; all he had to do was balance it in such a way to reduce the damage on both sides...

There was a pause in his head as his mind stopped scrambling around for the proper protocol or his excuses or a plan. …Wasn't that mindset the reason for all of this? Never letting them get too close and to keep everything professional and to keep others away to keep his heart safe from his fear of being alone? Of losing them? He stopped, blinking slowly at his behaviour. _Stop. Enough. _No, they were more important than that; he knew that. _No…Yuffie deserves better than a Garden apology…_He swallowed thickly again. _…and…Rinoa deserves…the truth…everything I've been doing…everything I could ever tell her…I…don't want to lie anymore…No more…pretending…_Squall took a deep breath and looked up around the main room again. _Stop being a coward. Man up. You've made a mistake and you have to pay for it. _He gripped the doorframe with his hands, testing his grip and waiting for the clamminess of his palms to go away. _You've made a mistake. You can fix this. No more hiding. You are not a child. No more being afraid. You know what you have to do…_

—_Yes, even though you are so good at lying…_

—_I said enough. _He closed his eyes and counted to twenty, making his mind stop working for a second because now was not the time to think like he usually did. When he opened his eyes, he immediately turned his head to the right, breathing slowly and deeply. He would start this the right way. _…no more hiding…no more being afraid…_He would start now.

—_Do you believe that two words can really make all your cowardice, all your failure, go away? __…__Whatever you do now is never enough. It will never be—_

—_SHUT UP. _Squall took a step forward, away from the doorway and away from the empty room. He stepped lightly on the creaky floorboards, remembering which ones would sound, and carefully took another step. He didn't look back to the room, he didn't give a second glance to the fireplace...he kept his eyes on Rinoa's back. He would do this. He would start now. _No more being afraid…Enough. Stop. You have to fix this…You will fix this…You will. _

He focused on her sitting there. Because she deserved the truth. She deserved to know how he had gotten there and why and what he had been doing all this time. And while he was afraid of what she would think, because she was the woman he loved and he had always wanted moments like these back, he took another step towards her. He had to. It had to be done, no matter how painful it would be to remember.

Another step. And then another. With a blink, he found himself standing at the entranceway of her house, just a few feet away from her back. He watched her hair move in the wind, watched the way the moon made her glow, and allowed his heart to hammer again. _Rinoa……what…will she think of me now? _He remembered the look in her eyes when he had said her full name, how happy she was to see him…His hands were getting clammy again, fear rising, because he didn't want more people to hate him. He already had enough of that and he knew that no matter what, when he died, there would be no Purgatory.

…_but…for now…for right now…I have to make this right…_ He took a deep, but quiet breath, not wanting to disturb the moment in front of him that he wanted back. _…I'm not dead yet… _He regained his composure, his resolve, and took a step forward, onto the porch, and wasn't expecting Rinoa's voice to sound out to him before that foot could land.

"—Are you going to stand there all night? Or are you going to sit down next to me?"

He blinked back his shock, his foot still hovering a few centimeters above the porch's wood. He watched her look over her shoulder at him and smile faintly, watching the moon highlight her features. He wasn't sure how long he had stayed still, but when she patted the seat next to her on the porch steps, he felt his body move again. Finally.

Squall could feel his heart hammer again. This was it. It had to be done. And as much as he wanted to squeeze his eyes shut and wish that this didn't have to happen, there were no such things as magical shooting stars and he wasn't going to be a coward anymore. He would make this right. Carefully, he sat down next to Rinoa, eyeing the step for any loose nails or splinters before lowering himself. He looked at her skin that wasn't covered by her nightgown curiously and absentmindedly wondered why she didn't have goose-bumps on a windy night like this.

Another breeze came by and ruffled her hair and nightgown again. She brought a hand up to tuck the flyaway strands behind her ear, even though she knew it wouldn't do any good. She had been sitting there for some time, unable to rest from all the excitement, just staring at the stars, noticing that there were more in the sky this time around and trying not to think about the tense and quiet sitting they had shared earlier. _…and Irvine…what…? _Rinoa gave him a small smile when he sat down, the wood creaking under his weight. "Couldn't sleep neither, huh?"

When she looked at him like that, Squall's mind just stopped. And his heart slowed down. And he almost forgot what he had come out here for. _…Rinoa…_ He felt his mouth open and close three times before his voice came out with a response. "Irvine still snores."

She held back a laugh, noticing that the life had returned to his eyes. _…Whatever happened…with Irvine… _That cold empty stare was gone, replaced with a look that was more familiar. And it made her smile a little bit. _Squall…_ "…Some things don't change."

"Yeah…"

There was a pause and Rinoa leaned back on her arms. She looked over at him, noticing the change in his posture and demeanor, and knew that he had to tell her something. She remembered this sort of change from when they still had Garden, these slight changes that happened very rarely, and knew that whatever he had to say was important. _Squall… _

But she knew that she couldn't rush anything. She couldn't expect anything of him. It had been seven years and maybe he had found someone else and had moved on—…Her stomach tightened at the thought, and even though she couldn't expect anything of him, she hoped and wished that whatever he had to say wasn't about _that _kind of stuff because she didn't think she could take it. Not now. Not after his unexpected arrival and not before they had gotten to know each other again. And as she watched his eyes search for the words, she wondered when the last time she felt this nervous was.

_Maybe…maybe it's good news…_Trying to keep the conversation casual, she mumbled the obvious, trying to hide her nerves. "…It's a nice night. The stars are out…"

He nodded, looking away from her. He couldn't focus properly when she looked at him that way. As much as he wanted to stare and hold her and make sure this was all real and stay with her, he had to say it. He had to tell her. Because she deserves at least that. _…Rinoa… _Squall's heart began to hammer again because this was it. The moment of the truth. His hands remained clasped together to prevent them from fidgeting and he wondered when the last time he felt this nervous was. _…I have to say it…I have to…_

Again, his mouth opened and closed three times before his voice came to him. "R—Rinoa…" He kept his eyes down, not wanting to see the look on her face, but a part of him told him that he should be looking her in the eye when he said it. Because she deserves at least that, right? He would not be a coward anymore. _…no more…being afraid… _No more fear, because Seifer told him once that fear was what gets you killed, right?.

Squall took a deep breath and looked to his left at her. Rinoa was facing him, waiting for him to continue, and from the look on her face, he could tell that she was expecting something important. He felt his mouth open again, nerves settling in his stomach, he could hear his heart pounding loudly in his ears and in the back of his mind, he could see her tear-streaked face and pink cheeks and the storm and the river and everything else. _…what…will she say…? _His lips pursed together at that uncertainty, knowing that everything they had taught him was contradicted with all his actions. _…what…will she think…?_

But he knew that if he didn't say it now, he would never know, and he would be stuck in his void, unable to break free from the chains of his guilt. _…No. No more being afraid…_There must have been a long silence between the two of them as he battled with himself because Rinoa gave him a small smile, encouraging him, subtly, to continue. "Yes, Squall? …What is it?"

That look on her face and in her dark eyes; it was the same one that always made him lose his place and let his mouth speak before the words could process in his mind. Squall's mind went blank and all the sounds and pictures came to an abrupt halt and he was sure that his heart stopped beating for a second and that his breath escaped him. He expected to hear the violins and the clarinets and the flutes and the music and see her in her champagne-coloured dress because that's what usually happened when he got this close, but her image did not change. He did not wake up. This was it. A moment he had always wanted to happen.

And at this moment, it felt like the entire universe was waiting on him. And it went quiet, holding its breath, because not even the wind was there to drown him out and the sky remained silent and mocking. _…Rinoa… _His memories replayed his life, his missions, their meeting, his understanding, his sadness and his loss and his guilt and his shame and somehow not fading away while meeting new people, just like him, with tears and hope and light and darkness and everything else he had nearly thrown away.

There was a still in his mind. The moment of the truth. That clarity. That tiny spot of white light in the middle of all the pictures. And the next time his mouth opened, he said it. Because it was time. She was there, next to him, and he could see her again. And she wasn't going anywhere. The universe had shattered, as did the chains that held his heart, the second the two words were out of his mouth. Finally. "—I'm sorry."

Squall could barely hear the words leave his lips but the look on her face told him that he finally said it loud enough. This was no dream. It couldn't be, because he would have woken up by now. There was another pause and he watched her brown eyes widen slightly, watched her face tilt slightly in curiosity. When she spoke again, the sound returned, and he could feel his heart beating again, hard and fast "…For what…?"

And that look on her face returned and he couldn't stop the words from coming now. Because now was the chance he had always wanted and he couldn't waste this opportunity. This chance, the one that always eluded him in his dreams, the one that he didn't seize with Zell and Quistis, the one his guilt and his shame never allowed him…one of the moments he wanted so badly because he had always wanted her forgiveness. Their forgiveness. And now, he felt clearheaded enough to say it and mean it and listen and believe what they had to say in return. Because now was not the time to let his guilt override him or take control because he didn't want to lose everything. He didn't want to feel it slip through his fingers again. Because now was not the time to be afraid or be a coward.

"I—I'm sorry…" Squall felt his jaw shake but forced his mouth to move and make the words he had always wanted to say and the words he always wanted them to hear. _…Rinoa…_In the back of his mind, he could see the storm again, blurry and grey with fire and smoke and yellow eyes and tears. "…for not…trying hard enough. For not holding on to you…that day…"

"…Squall…" Rinoa blinked, his name just a whisper, her mouth forming an 'o' shape, not expecting his words, memories of that last day coming back full force. That last, fleeting touch they had shared before the winds ripped her away. That storm, that fear, that second when they knew it was over, when they knew they had lost. And she remembered waking up in a field of purple and pink and yellow and white flowers…without him.

…_Oh…Squall…He must…He must have been……for seven years… _She watched him struggle with his words, as his hands unclenched and clenched into fists, but she knew there was more from the look on his face and her heart swelled, beating fast. _…Oh, Squall… _And as much as she had wished and prayed that he would move on, that they all would move on, Rinoa didn't think that she could ever forget the way his mind worked.

"…I'm sorry…for not being able to…protect you or keep you safe from harm for all these years…" His voice continued to get quieter and quieter, as his fear began to rise again, because she hadn't said anything yet. And because it felt so strange to hear himself say this aloud, with his own voice, with someone listening. "…For—For not…saving Garden…I'm sorry for…n—not being here…with you…sooner…S—Seven years is……Rinoa, I'm sorry…I…Please, I…"

The hand was twisting his heart, squeezing it and Squall found that he couldn't speak anymore. He focused on her breathing and he wondered what she was thinking while his heart pressed almost painfully up into his ribcage…but he had said it, hadn't he? Even though his insides were imbalanced and he felt vulnerable and weak and afraid, wasn't this the moment he wanted back? Wasn't this redemption? That clarity? And while he couldn't name the feeling that was coursing through him, because it wasn't happiness or sadness or an epiphany, he knew it was better than the feelings he had kept for this long.

She still hadn't said anything and he began to get nervous again because as much as he thought that people like him couldn't have both, that's all he really wanted. _…Rinoa…Please…_But before her silence could squeeze his heart into nothingness or send his soul into the darkness because that's all he really deserved after the way he treated his friends, he felt a warm pressure, a rush of heat, on one of his hands.

Squall looked down into his lap and realized that she had reached over and took one of his hands in hers. Rinoa quietly uncurled the fist he had made and moved to his fingertips, where she gently squeezed them. And with that touch, time seemed to stop. There was more, much more, that he had to explain, but the way she looked at him, as if she had seen another shooting star, made him pause. The dam and the barrier and his nightmares were broken now because he had said it. He looked up and into her brown eyes, unable to move or speak or think. Because he could never think when she looked at him like that.

"Squall…" Her voice was quiet with a tone of sadness. She squeezed his fingertips again. Speaking carefully and slowly, not wanting to disregard his words that had taken a lot to say, she continued, remembering that last battle. "…Don't apologize…"

"N—No…" Squall tensed at her words, finding his voice again, trying to explain himself because this is what he had always wanted, right? This moment? "…No, I have to…I couldn't…" There was another pause as he remembered staring down the giant Heartless that was fuelling the storm. Those yellow eyes that were ready to steal him away and he knew that there was a point in time when he truly wished that it had. "…I had…this opportunity…to take down the Heart—dark creature…but I failed. I failed you. I failed Garden and e—everyone…"

"Squall, that wasn't your fault…" Rinoa was so close to crying, hoping that at some point since this present, he hadn't always thought this way…but she knew how his mind worked and knew that the last thing either of them needed was hysterics. _…Squall…Oh, Squall…That day was no one's fault…_

And while he had argued with Zell on that point, suddenly, Squall couldn't find the words to dispute her, even though his mind was screaming at him, a tiny part that held him tightly that he couldn't shake. Because, after all, wasn't the point of all of _this _because it was his fault? He had failed them, which made him lose Garden and them, which made him wake up in Traverse Town and meet Yuffie and Cid and Aerith and Cloud and Tifa and Sora, which made him stop looking until now. His eyes looked down at the ground before stuttering out his objection because he had to explain. _…Please…_She had to understand. "No…Rinoa…It—"

Her dark eyes flashed, voice getting stern. "—No. Squall. Listen to me. Look at me." Keeping his teeth together, he stared at her, watching her face turn compassionate again. _…No…You don't have…the right…to be sad over that… _Waiting a few seconds to be sure she had his attention, Rinoa continued slowly, trying to be the voice of reason and not letting her own grief into her words. _…all…these years…_ "No. Squall. That was no one's fault."

"But—"

Squall's plan to interrupt her was stopped by her voice and a finger on his lips. "—Even if you had stopped that storm…we wouldn't have been able to stop them all…" Rinoa looked at him sadly, remembering that last day all over again, hating the sound of her voice. "…even though…we were SeeDs with magic and our Guardian Forces…there was something different about that enemy, and you know it…something not even our magic could destroy…"

She squeezed his hand again, feeling his pulse begin to slow. _Those…dark creatures…were so different…and strange… _Rinoa paused, remembering the first encounter with them, her eyes getting distant. "It was different…they were different…as if they never belonged on Garden…or anywhere…and every time we fought…It felt like it was a battle that would always be…out of our control…"

Before he could scoff at the notion of fate and planned destiny and all of that nonsense that he didn't believe in, Rinoa cut him off again. _…Squall…_ "And I know you don't like that…kind of thinking…but you can't sit there and apologize for that because then, what do I have to say for myself?"

Squall looked at her, unable to make a sound. _…what…?_ The wind finally began to pick up again as he stared, his mind switching gears into her train of thought, heart hammering because he had never thought of it in that way. And slowly, the haze began to lift, and while a part of him struggled to hold on to the thoughts that have held him tightly for all these years because they were constant and part of his schedule and his routine, another part reached for her. Because this was truth, wasn't it? That clarity? That white light in the middle of everything? That moment where everything becomes upside-down and reversed? He watched her look up at the sky, watched her mentally count the stars above them before continuing.

"You…were Commander, top rank SeeD…my Knight…" Rinoa smiled wistfully, turning to him, "…and you were always strong and smart…but I was a Sorceress. And I had complete reign over my powers by that time…so what can I say for myself? I could have used any magic I wanted to. All the Ultimas…and Thundagas…and Meteors that I wanted, without getting tired…so what can I say, then? I could have wiped out the entire world if I wanted to; I have that power…but I just…couldn't get rid of those things…not even with all the SeeDs and other magic…

"W—We all had opportunities like that, Squall…but it just…didn't happen…And we can't just keep thinking that way because that never did any good. It won't bring Garden back…And maybe it was fate, maybe it wasn't…but it happened…and you can't feel responsible for that because that's not right…" Rinoa blinked back her tears from her memories, looking back at him and into his eyes. _…all the magic in our world…couldn't have stopped those things…_ "So please…don't apologize for that…I won't have it……It was out of our hands…_all _of our hands…"

There was a sad stare between the two and another pause before she spoke again, seeing something change in his eyes. "You don't have a right to be sad over that, Squall…and I won't let you be…" There was another squeeze of his fingertips as she wiped away her stray tears. "You don't have a right to blame yourself for what happened because no one is to blame. You're _here_…you're _alive_…and you _remember_…and that has to count for something, doesn't it? After all of _that_, this has to count for something, right?"

Another breeze passed through, trees and grass almost whistling and Squall looked down at his hands. He looked at the pair they had made; her slender fingers over top his thicker ones with hers almost glowing in the moonlight. _…But…if I had…destroyed that Heartless…and stopped the storm…then maybe…maybe… _That part of him would not give up and he was so used to hearing it and listening. But now there was a contradiction, an upheaval in his usual clockwork, because Rinoa was there. _…she's here…and she wouldn't lie…_ And when the wind had stilled, he heard her start speaking again and he brought his attention back to her, because she deserved at least that.

"…Sometimes, even when it hurts a lot, you have to move on…and get better…no more 'what ifs'…and realize that something like that can't be shouldered alone. Yes, we've all felt sad and guilty over it because it was sad and terrifying and horrible. But you can't…sit there and blame yourself for it because I won't let you." Rinoa turned to him, looking at his face, trying to instill those exact words into his head. _…because…you can't think that way anymore…_

"…I won't. I won't let you blame yourself. Just like how I won't let Irvine blame himself for not getting Selphie back. Because it's not right. That's not the way it's supposed to work. You're not allowed to shoulder all the blame because that's not what happened. Those things…were out of our control…and as much as I want control, and the power to destroy those things and get everything the way it was before…" She trailed off, thinking back to her years on the island and the natives and all the nights she had to think. "…I don't think…we have that option…there's something else in this universe… and I think…we have to wait for that…"

She looked back up at the stars, squeezing his hand again, thinking about how big the universe really is and what else lay out there and what had always been there, just beyond their reach. Her voice came out quiet the next time she spoke. "Squall…I know that my words can't exactly erase everything you've thought of… but please, just listen…because I think…all of that was much bigger than we could ever imagine. Those things were different…from a different time and place and _world_…with a bigger consequence than we could ever think of…" There was a small smile that came across her face, as she tried to get the life back into his eyes. "…even bigger than a Sorceress from the future, if you could believe that…"

That tiny part of him that had held him so tightly, that made him doubt and hate himself for what happened, tried again to dispute her. And another tiny part smiled victoriously when his voice was almost a whisper. "But…But—"

"—No, Squall. Please…" Rinoa looked at him sadly, hoping and praying that he would understand. "I don't…want you to be sad anymore. I know that it will be hard and it will hurt to let go of what you think…but, you have to. So please, Squall…" She turned her body more, so that she was almost facing him. Keeping her mouth steady, she spoke to him in the most authoritative voice she could make. "…I want you to never listen to that part of your head again, because it is _not _your fault. And every time it tries, ignore it, please…Promise me…"

His hands were shaking, he knew, his fingers jittering between hers and suddenly, he remembered that feeling of her hand inching out of his just before the storm took her away. _…Rinoa… _And he remembered stretching out for her fingers and screaming for her as her face got smaller and smaller. _…but…she wouldn't lie…to me… _There was a shaky breath as that memory came back, vivid and real and he wondered if this was what Hell would be like. Remembering moments like those ones, over and over and over again, with those feelings he had always hoped to avoid washing over him again and again and again. _…but I'm not…dead yet…_

And then, there was another squeeze, tighter this time, and his eyes went over to her face, bringing him back to this present, telling him that this time, her hand would not slip away from his. The memory stopped, those feelings stopped and the voice that told him that he had still failed them stopped. Because it was not over yet. Because that was just a memory and that voice was so weak because he could see the truth, getting closer, in the middle of that spot of white.

Rinoa saw the pain in his eyes as he struggled and she knew now how much this was hurting him. She could tell how much and how long he had waited for this moment to tell her. _…Squall…My Knight…Oh, Squall… _And how long he must have went without saying a word. At that realization, she nearly burst into tears. "Squall…Please…for me? Just don't listen…to that part anymore…"

He saw that white light at the end of the tunnel reflected in her eyes. He felt his heart hammer and everything else just felt so _strange _because his routine was not being followed and everything was upside down. But wasn't that truth? He couldn't deny her request, he never could, but he knew it would be hard. It would always be hard. But he was here to make this right. That was _his _choice. His new commitment. And he would stick by it. He had come outside to fix this and follow through. He would. Squall squeezed his eyes shut and felt his mouth move against everything he had held up for seven years. "…Okay."

Squall heard her exhale the breath she had been holding and could almost feel her smile warmly at him. She squeezed his hand again in reassurance, telling him that he was going to be okay, that they were all going to be okay, and moved closer to him. Rinoa scooted towards him until their sides were touching and tentatively rested her head on his shoulder, knowing that it would be hard for him, especially him, to forget. _…Squall… _"…Okay?"

He opened his eyes again, feeling quiet and still for once in his mind, just in time to see a star shoot up and into the sky. He watched it move, majestically soaring to its proper place and tried not to let that part override him again. And while he wondered which star was Hollow Bastion, and where his friends were and what he would do next, after this, because it wasn't over yet, he forced himself to be calm. Because this was one of those moments he had always wanted back and for once, he would allow himself this happiness, even if it is for only one night.

Because being next to her, under the moon, under the stars, in the field of the purple and the pink and the yellow and the white flowers was something that he always wanted back. "…I promise."

* * *

JESUS. THIS IS A LONG CHAPTER.

Ugh, I'm like, teetering at the 16 page mark. AND I STILL didn't manage to fit all that I wanted in here. Which means, yay!, another chapter. I wanted to write in Rinoa's back story, from when SHE wakes up, but it just wasn't fitting…Man, all this angst/sappy sadness and stuff is making me way depressed. (lol)

Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed this. It was a b!tch to write, but still fun, and I hope I got the emotion right! I just found it REALLY hard to write Rinoa's comments because really, what can you say to a guy who's been harbouring that kind of guilt for that long? (shrug) I think I got it just right…finally…after, what? Three re-writes…?

PLEASE REVIEW


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!): **Well, here I am, back. Not much to say…so just enjoy, all right? =D A lot of fluff here, to bring us all out of our angsty closets. And…maybe…when you're done…review?

**UPDATED A/N: **Wow, that was really weird formatting. It's all fixed now!!! (phew)

* * *

They had stayed in that position for some time, not speaking, Rinoa's head on his shoulder, their fingers locked together, his body getting warmer from her touch. And for once, in Squall's heart, in this new quiet in his mind, it felt like they had never been separated to begin with. _…Rinoa… _But, whenever he looked up at the stars, he would know that that wasn't true and he would feel it crawl out again and shake him, that voice, that guilt, that _disappointment_, from what he had done to his friends.

But he had made a commitment and he would follow through. Yes, it would be hard, but he was never one to take the easy way out anyway. He would not be a coward anymore _…No more fear…_ And while he could feel it there, waiting to assault his nerves and his mindset all over again, a part of him knew that this was what he had to do. After all, he reasoned, why would his heart remind him of Yuffie, of all of _that_, if he didn't have to do anything? Why bother in making him realize that he was about to lose everything if there wasn't a point? If there wasn't an action plan he had to make? …If there wasn't something wrong with the way he had been thinking?

He took a deep breath and steadied himself. He still had a long way to go. But this was a start, wasn't it? The beginning? He felt a squeeze on his fingertips and Squall cast sideways glances at her, looking over her, watching her breathe and stare out at the field in quiet contemplation. _…Rinoa… _Yes, he would do this. For her. And her. He would right his wrongs and know, without a doubt, that he had done everything he could and that he was doing the right thing. No more being afraid of uncertainty or of the future, even if it was going to be hard.

He would do this…even though he didn't know if Yuffie would forgive him for saying things like that. Even though he couldn't expect anything of Yuffie, because she had every right to refuse him and never talk to him again…Squall felt that familiar sense of shame grip him, but he moved it aside. He wouldn't worry about that part because it hadn't happened yet. He would talk to Yuffie and make an effort to explain himself. And do it right. Because they both deserve at least that. And even though he was sure that people like him couldn't have both, that people like him couldn't have that happiness, he would try.

Because that's all he really wanted, anyway.

The wind came again, making the grass wave like water, and Rinoa found herself leaning closer to him, as if she wasn't hot enough. _…Squall… _At moments when her heart would finally slow down, Rinoa found herself casting glances at him, making sure he didn't catch her, looking at his older face, his features, at his eyes as they slowly softened. She could feel that connection, that bond, that energy that had never gone away, and it made her heart speed up.

_Squall… _She could feel his muscles tense and relax as he sat there quietly, would watch his eyes get distant every so often, but she knew that he would do this. He would come through. He would harden his resolve and finish whatever he had started before coming here. Because she could tell that there was something else because seven years was a long time to do nothing. _Whatever it is…you'll do it…I know you will…even if…it means leaving again…_

He was Squall Leonhart, after all. Her Knight. The man who had saved her countless of times. The man who she fought alongside with. He would do this, whatever it was. _…and I won't let you…be sad over that…anymore… _She let a smile come to her face and she looked fondly at him, not expecting his eyes to be on her this time around. They both stared for a second, realizing that they had been caught, before shyly looking away from one another in an instant. Her heart hammered in her chest and she felt her blush spread across her cheeks. _…Squall… _Rinoa nearly laughed as she realized that she hadn't felt this infatuated and crush-y in a decade.

It was then that Squall reversed their hand positions and gently squeezed her fingertips. _Rinoa…Hyne… _Looking back at her, he waited until she looked up at him. This was it. To make this right, he would tell her everything that he had been doing and what he would have to do to make it right again. Because she had to know and understand just how important they were. Finding his voice, Squall spoke softly, careful not to disturb the moment, one of the moments that he had always wanted back. "Rinoa…"

"Yes…?"

And the way she looked at him then, her brown eyes soft and gentle, Squall lost his voice. He just stared into the eyes of the woman he loved, the woman who had picked herself up and started again, and he felt his heart swell and he realized that he hadn't felt this way in a long time. That he hadn't allowed himself this feeling. And even though he couldn't name it, it was better than shame and guilt and fear. His heart hammered in his chest as he looked at her, grateful to whoever did this that at least she had aged and remembered…and a small part of him made his mind acknowledge just how fortunate he was, even if it was just that. _…Oh, Rinoa…_

Squall watched her lips curl into a tiny, playful smile, a look he remembered and one that made his heart pound. He felt her squeeze his fingertips before breaking the silence. "…I've missed you."

Rinoa watched his face suddenly get sad again but did not regret saying her words. They were the truth. They were important. And as much as she wanted to just pick up where they left off seven years ago, that ending was painful and terrible and horrible and she knew that they had to start again. She repeated her sentiment, leaning on his shoulder again. "I've missed you a lot, Squall…"

He paused for a second, staring up at the sky, knowing what he had to do. For her. And her. He felt his muscles tense because he remembered Yuffie's tear-streaked face and tinted cheeks and although he was afraid of what she would say to him and how she would act towards someone who does _that _to his friends, he forced his lips to move and answer Rinoa with another truthful statement from the other half of his mind. "…Then, I'm sorry for not getting here fast enough."

She looked up at him and, seeing that his eyes were elsewhere, brought a hand to his face to move his head towards hers. _…Oh, Squall… _"No more apologizing…you're here now, aren't you?"

He blinked, staring sadly at her. This was it, he supposed. The moment he would have to tell her exactly what he had been doing up until now. Fear crept back and he trembled, but he knew that it had to be done. _No more fear…You will do this…_ And although he was afraid of what she would say to him and how she would act towards someone who does _that _to his friends, it was Rinoa he was talking to, and she deserved to know. "But I—"

"—I'm happy that you're here now, Squall…" Rinoa interrupted, not wanting him to go back into his guilt. _…because I won't let you be sad about that anymore… _"I'm happy…that you got to see me…like this…" She made a motion to the wooden house behind her. "…and with that…With all of this…"

Seeing her pause, Squall moved quickly for the opportunity to speak again. "But…I'm your Knight. I'm supposed to protect you, to help you as a Sorceress…but…I couldn't find you…I…let you down. I wasn't here sooner to…keep you safe…and…to be with you…" At this point, he looked away from her and put his eyes on their hands. _…and I'm truly sorry for that…_

Rinoa looked at him, shoulders dropping a little bit, not liking the way he had reverted back. _…Squall… _She exhaled and tried again. "Listen to me Squall. I missed you. A lot. And yes, it has been a long time since then and I wish that I could have seen you sooner than this, but I'm happy that you're here now…and that you can see me now, this strong. I'm happy that you can see me in a way that I've always wanted you to see me."

She gave him a smile, pausing, trying hard not to cry, as all the emotions she had experienced since coming to this island came to her. Since she had woken up after that last battle, she had wished on all the upward-shooting stars she had seen for this moment to come. And, even though back then she wanted it to come quickly because she didn't want to be alone, she couldn't be happier that it came now. "I'm happy that you're here because, for once, you didn't have to rescue me…You can see me as a woman who can take care of herself…even if it did take something like _that _to do it…"

He turned his head to her, slightly confused, his previous mind set changing slightly to focus on her words, this present. "I've…I've never thought of you as weak, Rinoa. You were always were and still are strong to me."

"I know, I know…but…" She paused again, closing her eyes, remembering how hard the first couple of years were when she had been all alone. _…all alone…just…nothing…but tears and frustration and loneliness…_"…but now, I can believe you when you say it. Because now, I can look at myself and know, without doubt, that I did it…"

Squall remained quiet, not knowing what to say, but he kept his eyes on her. He was able to count to twenty before hearing her voice again, watching her head tilt up at him. "It was hard," Rinoa smiled, "but I did it. I was strong and I persevered…It took me a long time, but I remembered you…and how strong you were…and I knew that wherever you were, wherever that storm brought you, you would still be strong…and I wanted to be like you and work through this change …"

She cuddled closer to him, not wanting to let go of the physical contact she had missed so much. "…When I woke up, in this field with all these flowers that I didn't recognize…the first thing I did was cry." She closed her eyes at that point, remembering that first night. "I had landed on my back…and I was staring up at a dark, night sky, with no stars…just crying. I cried a lot. Because I remembered all of that… And when I got…the feeling back in my legs, I…I got up…and looked around for you, crying and yelling all of your names. It was a wonder that I could even stay upright at that point because I was so tired…but I had to find you. I didn't want to be alone…

"At some point…I couldn't run anymore. I couldn't find anyone. And I felt that I couldn't cry anymore, even though I was still sad and still had the memories of that battle and of all those things taking something that wasn't theirs…even though I was still alone, even with all the reasons in the world to start crying, the tears wouldn't come… I don't think I had ever felt that…crestfallen…because there was that moment when I knew that you guys were not on that island with me…and that I was all alone…"

Squall nodded then, holding back his own pain, knowing exactly what that feeling was, even though he had never given it a name. Because wasn't he the one who had walked around Traverse Town for days, until his feet were bloody and the soles on his boots worn? _…Rinoa… _She looked at him again, eyes welling with tears just thinking about that moment, that moment when she had to burden that tragedy alone. "…Hyne, Squall…that moment when I knew that I was alone…Hyne…Even if I could have cried at that point, it wouldn't have been enough…I was so sad…

"After that realization, I started walking along the coast…I probably looked like a zombie or something, trying not to believe what had happened and where Garden was and where all of you guys were and why I was alone… And when I was in my own head, thinking about all of _that _and trying to figure out what all of _that _meant, I barely noticed the water or the canoe that was coming towards me on that first night."

Rinoa paused, looking up at him. "It was so strange, after all that training, that I had lost my sense of perception, that for an instant, I had lost focus…because that night, I didn't even see the native woman until she had called out to me." She rested her head on his shoulder again, remembering that first encounter on that first night behind her eyelids. "…And…I hadn't meant to…I wasn't even thinking…but I had cast a Blind spell on her when I had meant to cast Haste on myself to run away…

"I stood there, for a few long seconds…watching the woman get so scared because she couldn't see anymore before I ran over to her, apologizing like crazy. I started crying again at this point…even though I had more obvious things to cry about than over a stranger and a misplaced spell…Because I still had no idea where I was or where any of you guys were or what happened to Garden or what exactly was going on in the giant scheme of the universe…

"But she…she was there, in front of me." Rinoa looked into his eyes, never tiring of that sight. Her eyes then trailed down his even more faded scar, studying that thinner, lighter pink line that marred his face. Still staring, her mouth kept moving, remembering the native woman."…And—And she was the only other person I had…and I didn't want to lose her either. Because I felt that I had already lost the entire world…and I was so sad…and I didn't want to be alone anymore and I didn't want to run away…so after a few failed attempts at getting her sight back, I finally managed a Cura and helped her." She gave him a smile. "With my powers so out of sync, it was a wonder that I didn't kill her…

"We stared at each other for a long time, two complete strangers…and she was waiting for me to stop crying to start talking, but the second she asked me if I was alright, I cried again. I cried because I had no idea how to answer that question…I cried and she actually hugged me…And I held onto that woman so tightly, trying hard not to think about what had happened and where I was and why it wasn't you that I was clutching at…but a part of me thought of you and how strong you were. And how strong you would be, wherever you were…"

Squall gave her a slight smile at her praise, not really sure if someone like him deserved words like that because wasn't he the coward who did terrible things to people he called his friends? He nodded at her to continue and he could only hope that her idea of him did not change after he told her. _Please...Rinoa..._ "…That woman held me until I had stopped crying…which was really nice of her, considering I was some stranger with magic hands…She had looked at me sadly but told me not to cry. That it was going to be okay." Rinoa stopped for a second to wipe her stray tears away.

"…I hadn't believed her at the time and had declined her offer of going back to her home because I wanted to stay right where I was, a part of me stubbornly refusing to believe any of that had happened and that you guys were on your way. I didn't want to chance it. I didn't want to leave in case you guys showed up the next morning. I had told her, I'm pretty sure I had, that I had to stay because I was waiting for someone…someone special…

"She must have thought I was crazy, but she nodded and told me that she would be back tomorrow. She told me not to leave because she would help me…and—and it seems so weird now, after everything she's done for me…but I never got her name…" Rinoa cast her eyes on the field in front of her, staring at the moon's highlights in the blades of grass. _All these years…dreaming of this moment…just…to talk to him…just to catch a glimpse of him…even if only for one night… _She felt Squall squeeze her fingertips again and she continued, her mind and heart getting infatuated and crush-y at his contact.

"That first night, I had stayed on the coast and I had cried again, hoping and praying that a shooting star would come so I could wish that you would come back to me. But it never came. And I just kept getting more and more sad. The sky was always dark then…but now," She looked up, eyeing the tiny spots of light in the sky, "they're back…and I'm pretty sure that's a good thing...and it makes me happy..."

Squall nodded at her, affirming her idea of the good omen the new stars brought. "…I had stayed there on the coast, setting up a make-shift tent, for several weeks, just living off of the stuff she would bring me, hoping for a shooting star…I had cried almost every day and every night because I couldn't see you, or talk to you, and I knew that not even my magic could bring you back because my magic couldn't keep us together and I was…I was so tired…of being alone…and afraid...

"But…there was a night when I thought of you again. Another moment when I remembered how strong you and all of the others were. And I think…that's when I kind of woke up." Squall noticed the spark of determination in her irises as she kept talking. "I looked around and at myself…at how _pathetic _I was acting. I felt like I had reached the bottom…and I didn't like that feeling. I didn't like it at all and I didn't want to keep that feeling anymore.

"I knew then, that when you found me, because I knew that you would, that I didn't want you to see me crying. I didn't want you to see me _waiting _to be rescued. I didn't want to be that damsel in distress anymore because deep down, I knew that I was stronger than that. I would not be that weak anymore. I would do something myself to get my head out of my sadness and prove to myself that I could do at least that."

That determination he had always liked to see was still present as Rinoa continued. "Since that night, I wanted to prove to you, wherever you were, that I would do this…that I could pick myself up and be brave, just like you. My motivation…was to see that look on your face when you found me—because I knew you were coming—and when you realized that I didn't have to be rescued like I'd always been. I didn't want to just wait around for my Knight in shining armour because I wanted to show you that I can be strong too. That I can take care of myself…That maybe, for once, I could rescue you…"

Rinoa stopped for a second to wipe more tears away. "And that woman, almost immediately, saw that change…and started bringing me new things. Tools, more hardware…she started teaching me how to hunt and fish and brought me spears and arrows…" A smile came on her face again. "I just wanted to make sure that when you came for me…that you would be proud. And maybe, for once, you wouldn't have to worry about me because I could show you that I was doing just fine…"

She looked up at him, her face glowing white in the moonlight. "So…don't apologize…for that…because I got to do it on my own for once. It was hard and it was scary and painful and disgusting and weird and _hard_…but I did it. And believe me when I tell you that I'm happy that you're here now, okay?" She squeezed his fingertips again, moving closer to him and smiling. _…and all my hard work…I think…it paid off… _"…The Rinoa Heartilly next to you is officially new and improved…brought to you by seven years of hard work and faith…and finally knowing that she could do it too."

Squall's mind was quiet, unable to find the words to comment, because what could he say to that…? _…Rinoa… _Squall shifted in his seat, inching closer to her, her story making his soul swell with pride and love. He felt her weight when she rested her head on his shoulder and he took a deep breath, taking comfort in her closeness and wished that this moment would freeze in time forever, even though there were no such thing as magical shooting stars. "But…I'm late."

"That's okay. …I'm glad…that you're here now…don't forget that." She reassured him, hearing that sad tone and squeezing his fingertips again. _I'm so happy…that you're here now… _"I didn't mind the wait…It made…this moment…more special, you know?" Rinoa paused, looking out in front of her. _…You're finally here…_ She was pretty sure she could feel her happiness in her bones, because Squall Leonhart was finally beside her, sitting outside her house, and by default, that would make her the happiness woman in the world...but there was a shadowed edge. _…you're here…but…what have you…been doing…?_

Taking a deep breath, Rinoa stopped her lips from quivering. She knew that there was something else, _someone_ else, some other place that he had come from, and even though he had opened his guard to her already about guilt and shame over that last battle, she wanted to know more. _…and…that look on your face…you aren't done that part yet… _She turned to him and asked him the question she had been dying to know, feeling that it was finally the right time, even though her heart was swimming in dread. Keeping her emotions in check, her nervousness, her fear, she kept her tone as casual as she could. "So…that's what I've been doing… …Squall…where…have you been all this time…?"

And before his fear could grab him and clamp his mouth shut at the sound of her upfront question, Squall reversed their hand positions, a movement he wasn't even sure he could do, and squeezed her fingertips. _…Hyne… _This was it. The truth. He looked at the stars, mapping them in his head, knowing that one of them held the world he knew as Hollow Bastion, the world where his friends resided in now. At the thought of them, he felt his heart tighten because he was ashamed of what he had done to them.

But he had been through this. Now was not the time to be afraid.

He felt her breaths on his bare arm and the warmth from her body made sure his mind stayed on track. Because she deserved to know. She told him her story and he supposed it was time for him to say his. His story. What he had been doing up until now. They deserved their recognition. They were too important to throw away. He owed them at least that, didn't he? For all that they had done? _…no more fear…you will not lose them too…that is not your fate… _He voice was soft but it carried well enough and he knew that nothing in the universe could stop his words now. "…I woke up…in a place called Traverse Town…"

* * *

Tifa exited her room with a sigh. To be ready for five o'clock in the morning, she had to get up around four thirty. And that would be the last time she would see her room until the next time the clock read 5:00 a.m. She hated full-day shifts, even with the glorious off day that followed. Especially when she knew she wouldn't be able to capitalize on the extra hours of sleep. _…I'll just be tossing and turning because…because… _Just thinking about a day where she was allowed to do nothing but think made her groan.

Because all she would think about would be all the things that she couldn't remember.

…_just…forget it… _She frowned, walking over to the Control Room. Tifa found herself taking deep breaths, and making fists, trying to keep herself calm. _…it's out of your control…you…can't do anything…so…just forget it, okay? Just stop. _She had already spent too long dwelling over it and crying over it and she had to stop. She had more important things to worry about anyway, she tried to tell herself…namely how she would act in front of Zell after crying in front of _him_. He would be on shift for the first half of hers.

…_I can't believe I did that…a complete stranger… _Her looming embarrassment eased her discomfort over her forgotten memories. She had actually cried in front of him. She had actually _cried_. _…over something…that I can't control… _The issue that had plagued her since she had spoken to Cid came back full force and Tifa forced back her grief. _Just. Stop. Not now. _

No dreams, no filled gaps, no indication that time would make her remember even after hearing the story. _…Stop it, Tifa. It's out of your control…Just how Aerith's apparent revival is…Just like…Gaia's destruction was…So, stop it. There's no point in doing this to yourself… _She sighed again, walking down the stairs that would lead her to the Control Room.

The hallway was empty and as much as she tried to push it past her and not care, Tifa felt it crawl back into her head. She couldn't remember. Even after Cid's story, she couldn't…She was still missing the links and nothing, _nothing_, would change that. She'd be stuck in this limbo until…until…until when?_ Please…just stop it. There's no point…You wanted to know. You got what you asked for. There's no point in acting this way…or thinking about the future like that…Just. Stop it. Enough._

With a gloved hand, she wiped her eyes that were threatening to leak tears. _Just. Stop. _Another deep breath and another step and another access code, and the dull light from twenty or so computer monitors came into her line of sight as the door slid open. _…there's nothing you can do about it now… _"Morning everyone."

To her surprise, Zell was already present, standing up against one of the walls in the room. His arms had been crossed, his face in a frown, but when he heard her voice, his tense body language dropped. "Morning Tifa." He nodded in her direction and his eyes followed her as she moved towards the kitchen area.

The other woman, Quistis, swiveled around in the chair that was stationed in front of all the computers. With a yawn, she responded with the same greeting and noted her direction. "Morning. If you want some tea, I just put the water on…"

"Oh, good. Thanks. Heaven knows I'll need all the caffeine I can get." She forced a smile to the blonde woman who smiled back.

"I don't know how you guys do these late shifts…Those all day ones too. Absolutely crazy…" Quistis put a finger on her chin in quick thought. "…Although, I suppose keeping this town safe is quite the priority."

From the kitchen, Tifa answered her with a loud 'Yeah.' as she poured herself a cup of tea. She didn't bother to correct the other woman because that wasn't her place or her business and she just wouldn't understand, would she? _…it's not quite a town, Quistis…But don't you worry about that…You don't need to…No need for all that heart ache…_ Dark eyes watched the water in her cup slowly seep into a dark red colour. _…You can just keep on pretending…you're allowed to…because you have no idea…_

She had probably been standing there for a few minutes, watching her tea get seeped, thinking about _it _and _that _and how lucky Quistis and Aerith and Cloud were to be like the plain hot water. Because at least they had _no _idea, at least they would stay clear and unmarred and continue on their merry ways with no indication of what had happened before all of this. They got to start over. And as she watched and watched, she wondered why she was not given that privilege, that ignorance, that ability to be the plain hot water and not understand the sad looks that Yuffie and Cid sometimes gave them.

Why was she like the water with the slowly seeping tea bag that would never be a complete cup because nothing could stir it? Why was she like a cup of hot water with faint tints of colour, but not the whole essence of the tea? She needed a catalyst, a spoon, to get the rest of the tea out into the water so that she could be complete. But why couldn't she get that? Why not? And why would she be stuck in limbo and not even be granted the burden of remembering it all? What could be worse than knowing that she was the stagnant tea bag in the water and that all she needed was a push, the push that did not come from hearing the story, to become tea?

Tifa frowned at the teacup, seeing her wobbly reflection in the water, wishing that the tea would give her some answers to her made-up little analogy. But before the tea grains could spell out the message, Zell had coughed, bringing her out of her thoughts. Her face changed in the water and she diverted her attention to the doorway where he was leaning against. "—What, Zell?" Tifa snapped, in a tone that wasn't meant for him, her mind spinning from Cid's story, her fragmented pieces and the sad look on his face.

_What…does he have to be sad about…? …why is he…giving me that look for? _She frowned again, thoughts bitter, her anger about everything and everyone and even all the stuff she couldn't remember suddenly becoming pointed to the man who wouldn't speak. "What do you want, Zell?" Tifa asked again.

He shrugged. He _actually _shrugged at her. He was looking at her with that _look _on his face and he shrugged at her. _…that…same…look…_That pity-filled look that she hated. That got her into this mess to begin with. Tifa found herself staring back at her tea, fists clenched. "Then _what_ are you standing there for?!" She turned to face him, taking a step. "Checking up on me or something? Worried about poor, little Tifa? Is that it?!"

Zell paused for a second, seeing her anger tint her cheeks, trying to proceed as carefully as possible. She had been avoiding every one since that night she had gotten her story and he felt partially responsible and he just wanted to talk to her and make sure she wasn't going to stop smiling forever. Because he didn't want someone else to be sad. "I don't know. Do you need checking up on?"

There was a sharp exhalation through her nose before Tifa decided that she was calm enough to answer him. "No. No, I do _not _need checking up on, thank you very much."

"You sure? Because frankly, staring at your tea like that was starting to creep me out."

She focused her best glare onto his nonchalant attitude, not appreciating his humour or that look he had given her, and after a pause, a new question came to her. "…Why the hell do you care anyway?!" And it seemed that he just wanted to infuriate her more, because he simply shrugged again, his eyes giving her that look. She took another step towards him. "Zell, I swear, if you don't answer me with a decent response, I'm going to punch you to next Thursday! What do you want?!"

Again, a calm voice that she would have never expected from him came to her. "Don't answer a question with a question, Tifa. We'll get nowhere."

She only gave him time to blink before she was in front of his face, eye to eye, finger pointed at him. "Do _not _tell me what to do, Zell Dincht. You have no right to tell me how to behave in this situation and you _know _that!"

As quickly as she had come, Tifa stomped off, back towards her seeping tea, grabbing a spoon to make her drink. She knew why she was angry, it was very obvious to both people in the room, but a part of her wished that she hadn't taken it out on Zell. Then again, what did it matter? He would be leaving soon anyway. Him and that look he was giving her. He would eventually forget this conversation, her tears, the drama, and just go back to Olympia, back to living the lie with Quistis because he really didn't have another choice, did he? Because she would never get it back, would she? Just like her, right?

And before her thoughts could turn any more sour, Zell's voice broke them again. "…Sorry."

The spoon she had been using to turn her tea clattered against the walls of the cup at his apology. Tifa turned back to him, all aggression lost in her face, but annoyance still present. She wasn't sure if this conversation was making her feel better or worse. Because between the realization that she would never get it back until…until…and the fact that she would just have to keep pretending since she couldn't find her metaphorical spoon and the fact that she had just gotten angry with the one person that was actually looking out for her and, up until that look, not pitying her or feeling sorry for her……She was a mess, wasn't she?

"Don't apologize." She said automatically, with a sad tone that she couldn't shake, not sure what he was apologizing for.

Picking up her cup and saucer, Tifa moved slowly out of the room, pushing past him, mind blank. She had to get started on her shift, her work, and as her feet stepped lightly on the floor, her brain came to the realization that she wouldn't get her memories back until the thing that had taken them away decided to grant her that right. She blinked sadly at her predicament, knowing that both Yuffie and Cid already knew that, knowing that she would never achieve the control she wanted...but she found herself frowning right afterwards as she looked around the room.

The chair that once held Quistis was empty. _…but…the third person for the day shift hasn't come in yet…where…? _Her head turned left and right before she spun around to face Zell again, her job taking precedence in her thoughts. Because her job…she could control that. _That _part was tangible and there was no one else holding the strings for her. "Where's Quistis?"

"I sent her to her room to sleep."

"…Oh." She held her cup and saucer close to her body as Zell walked past her and towards the table in the room. Taking a sip of tea because her lips felt so dry all of a sudden, she swallowed it quickly before speaking again. "Why? That's against the rules, you know…"

"Yeah? Well screw the rules, okay? She was tired. She was going to fall asleep on the table if she stayed here any longer." The chair scratched the floor loudly and creaked under Zell's weight as he sat down. Tifa paused for just a second before sitting down across from him, her teacup and saucer clattering lightly in the silence of the room. She watched him shift around in his seat, unable to get comfortable and noticed that, thankfully, the look was gone. _…I don't need…pity…not now…_

She didn't have to wait long before Zell's fidgeting gave way to his words. They were abrupt and loud, nearly jostling her. "Look…Tifa, I'm sorry for…" He rocked back in forth in his chair, not making eye contact, trying to explain, "…talking you into getting your story. I mean…Hyne…I'm really sorry for making you all…all upset and stuff. And I wish I could have the power to make you remember it all…but…" He paused, swallowing thickly, "…if I had that power…Quistis wouldn't be the way she is, right? And everything would be different..."

Tifa sipped her tea, wincing a little as she realized how bitter it was because she forgot to add sugar, before sighing. "Zell…" She looked up at him. "Don't apologize, okay? I was going to ask them sooner or later. This doesn't have anything to do with you."

"Yeah, but…" Blue eyes darted between hers and the table and the floor, trying to make her understand, "…but…I…I just…You're just so upset right now and I know that this part's really weird for you but I just…I know that you wanna know everything. And I don't know what that feels like…and I know that it's probably different from the feeling I get when I look at Quistis when she smiles and has no idea…but…you gotta stay strong. And you are strong. You're just off balance right now, but you will get through this…no matter what's coming…

"And you know, maybe…maybe it won't come back… I mean, I've never met this Sora kid…but we don't know what'll happen if he wins… Maybe all of this will never get resolved." She heard a tinge of sadness in his voice, and she felt her own grow at that thought, "And maybe I'll never see Quistis again…but at this point…because we don't know…you gotta be prepared...to deal with something like that...But, even if the worse case scenario happens, you got something there and you should be happy for at least that, even though it is confusing and weird. ...At least you're half full, right?"

Zell gave her a tiny smile."You got something. You still have some memories...and I'm sure the other ones are there too. You just haven't gotten the right key to unlock them. But you still have some. And that _is _better than nothing. Because at least you can cherish those ones and know, at least a little bit, that the people who call your name are your friends..." His face turned sombre for a minute, and Tifa could only guess that he was thinking about Quistis. "So…sorry for giving you…that look earlier…but…I just felt bad about that…and not knowing what to say...and I wanna make sure you'll be okay…I just want to see you smile again, that's all…Because you still got something to smile about."

There was a silence between the two fighters, his words ringing in Tifa's head. _...but...when will the other memories come back...? _And even though she had no answer, she pushed those sad feelings aside because she didn't want to feel sorry for herself anymore. That wouldn't get her any closer to anything and she knew that. She knew that she didn't want to spend the rest her life moping around. She didn't want pity. She wanted her strength back. _...and you, Tifa, will get through this. You will. You have to. _But, of course, she knew that that was easier said than done. _...but you will do it._

At the change in her body language, Zell's mind quickly tried to change the sad atmosphere. "…I don't like you when you're sad, okay? I don't like it when people are sad, period. Because then I get sad. And people have told me that I look really damn ugly when I'm depressed and I don't want to ruin my chances of finding some good-looking Hollow Bastion girl while I'm still here, you know?"

At that last part, Tifa gave him a tiny smile as she digested his words. Trying to keep up with his joke, she showed him her wit. "And your depressed face is different from your regular face, how?"

"…Not funny."

She took another sip from her tea, the hotness scalding her throat, and for a second, her sad thoughts stopped. She had something extra. She remembered a little. And...after everything that had happened...wasn't that something good? It still sucked to be her, though, halfway there with no control, but it was something, wasn't it? And it had to mean something, right? There was another quiet before Tifa spoke again, mind made up. She did not have control over this, she knew that. But whoever did would make a decision eventually, whatever it may be. And she would still have her friends, no matter what the outcome, and they would tell her the stories over and over again, whenever she asked and even though it would be painful and awkward and weird living this way…

"...I will be fine." The confidence in her tone surprised even herself, amidst her conflicting emotions, the volume nearly startling Zell.

"Eventually, right?" Zell smiled at her but she missed it, as she continued to stare at her tea, noticing that even after she stirred it, there was still some seeping out from the tea bag. And it still sucked. And she was still upset and sad and frustrated over all of this…but…at least she wasn't alone. She didn't have to battle this feeling alone. She still had her friends, who still cared about her, even the ones who couldn't really remember. Finding her friends, the ones who would still stick by her even when they gave her that look, after all of _that_…that has to mean something, right?

"…Eventually."

* * *

Firstly, I apologize for the lateness. You would think that without school + stress, I would have all the time in the world and get these chapters up ASAP. But writer's block sucks. And it REALLY sucks when I have actually have the _time _to write something but nothing comes out.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. That tea analogy came to me randomly and I figured, since I've mentioned tea like, four times already, I would have to give it a better meaning than just as a refreshment…

PLEASE REVIEW!


	25. Chapter Twenty Five

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!): **Hey hey! Just thought I'd let you know that the day I started writing this was July 1st…CANADA DAY! So, happy 142nd birthday Canada! You're pretty sweet and all that.

* * *

Silence.

Beautiful, blissful, earth-shattering silence.

The words just kept coming, never stopping, just giving her enough time to digest the entire story of his life. Squall told her everything: the Heartless and what they were after, Sora, the Keyblade, his connection to all of that, who he had met and how and why and what it really meant when the stars began to fall up into the sky. He had told her how he got there and what he had been doing and thinking and dreaming and what his _name _was and what he had said to Yuffie and what she had did for him. Because she had to know why he was late.

He was late because he had been off doing his new duty, his new commitment, trying to forget about what had happened and trying to redeem himself for abandoning them for a second time. He told her this too. He was late because he couldn't find the energy to look around anymore…he was too weak to continue and too weak to face up to his faults. He was late because he had made Sora and the Heartless and Ansem his top priority, instead of her. He told her this too, while his heart was threatening to explode and while his ears began to ring.

Even though she had told him that being late was fine, he was still late because he _chose _to be late…that was the problem. He made something more important than them…and he supposed that's why all of _this _and _that _and _him _and _her _and everything else bothered him so much. He had willingly stopped looking for them all those years ago; he had and nothing could change that, and he made sure that she understood this, because he was here to make everything right. Even when it hurt to finally say it out loud.

And just when he thought his mouth couldn't move anymore, just when he thought that it couldn't hurt any more, all the words were out. Every thought, every syllable, was out in the open, touching her ears and making her understand. His story. Everything that he had been doing up until now and everything he had been avoiding. She knew. That was the point, right? One of those moments he wanted back? That the day when he found them, he would explain and tell them the stories of his life? To make sure that Rinoa would understand? To finally get years and years of his self-doubt and disappointment and grief and worthlessness off his heart?

_Hyne… _His heart was pounding loudly, not believing he had said all of that. And now, all he could do was wait, trying hard to keep his hands from shaking, for her response. Because he had finally done his part, hadn't he? He had finally said it, right? That was truth, wasn't it? All of this was truth. _…but…why don't I feel…? _Squall exhaled the breath he had been holding, counting the seconds in his head, as he waited for Rinoa to say something, _anything_, to his story. She had to say something. Because he didn't think he could handle her storming off, angry and upset, and giving him the silent treatment for his actions. Not now.

Even though, his mind mused, he had given her every right to. He told her that he had given up on them, unable to find them in the early years. He told her that it wasn't really his actions that brought him here, it was Yuffie with a lot of luck and none of his permission and all of his reluctance because he didn't want any more regret. He didn't want to know that all the years he spent away from them could have been used to find them because they were _alive_. He told her that if it hadn't been for Yuffie, he would have never started again…and of course, he told her that he had still failed them this way. Because what kind of person does _that_?

…_I believed…you were gone…I had accepted that because…I didn't want the guilt anymore…that shame of not being able to find you… _Squall took a deep breath in, teeth starting to chatter together as he held back his shame. _…and how…easy it was for me…to do that…to change my name…and pretend……Hyne…a coward's way out… _He had told her this as well, making sure she understood, because that was truth. And she deserved to know at least that. She deserved to know what kind of man he had become.

As he sat, body shaking slightly, he knew that she had every right to never speak to him again. To slap him. To walk away and demand that he leave her home because people like _him _weren't welcome there. Not people like him, refusing to look for the ones who they supposedly loved because of pride and not wanting to be wrong and hurt. Not people like him, where there would be no Purgatory waiting but only darkness and brimstone.

And even though he cringed at that thought, that tiny part of him whispered that that's all he really deserved anyway. Because he had done a horrible thing to his friends from Garden. Because he had done a terrible thing to his friends in Hollow Bastion. Yuffie went out of her way to devise a search for him because she cared and she didn't want him to be sad anymore. She had gotten him here and all he did was yell at her, blame her, for not letting him do it himself. It was odd, really, because wasn't he the one who gave up on all of that? Wasn't he the one who preferred not to think back to _that _because all he would think about would be his failure? _…a coward's way out…_

It was so strange now, because all of that circular thinking that was coming back from that part of him was being contradicted by a voice he never thought he would hear again. _…Rinoa… _A voice that he had given up looking for, but still, the voice of the woman he loved. But there was still that choice that he had made, that nagging choice that a part of him wouldn't let him forget. Because he had been wrong. He hadn't looked hard enough in Olympia; he had no excuse for not finding Zell and Quistis earlier. He hadn't tried hard enough and he had given up too easily because he was so weak. But he had truly believed that they were gone, hadn't he? Even though that's not really an excuse and even though people can't really just vanish, right?

…_Hyne…may my sins…be forgiven… _Squall closed his eyes and tried not to think about her tear-streaked face. Or the silence. Or the glaring contradictions, his loopholes, in the ways he had been thinking for all this time. Because everything was backwards and upside-down and nothing was straight and obvious anymore and he could feel his temples throbbing as his mind tried to work through the mess he had made. Because it was a big mess, and not even sleeping or working or ignoring it would make it go away. Was this the hard part? Was this confusion the hard part his head warned him about?

But all of this stopped when Squall felt pressure on his fingertips. The gears stopped moving and everything went silent and his heart was pounding and he was pretty sure his ears were ringing because someone was thinking about him. This was it. Immediately, his eyes snapped open and he turned to face her. Her dark eyes greeted him with a look that he couldn't name. But it made his hands stop shaking because it wasn't disappointment or disgust or anger. _…why…isn't…? _But then again, wasn't this supposed to be the hard part?

Rinoa blinked slowly, allowing her mind some more time to wrap itself around his words. _…seven years… _She wasn't really sure how to feel; on the one hand, he had given up looking for them, even though he had the equipment and the know-how to move around. And her heart hurt when that part sunk in. _…but… _On the other hand, he had been trying to fix all of this, the entire universe, with that boy and that weapon and all of that stuff she still couldn't understand completely. He had been doing something noble with his time.

And it wasn't like she could tell him that he should have been looking for them…because seven years was a long time and she didn't think she could ask him to keep walking around when she had not moved herself. And it was sort of understandable, because seven years was a long time to keep looking for uncertain existences, wasn't it? But a part of her soul still hurt because he had stopped. He had stopped because he thought they were gone and he couldn't keep looking around when his trips kept coming back empty-handed and kept solidifying his incorrect thinking… But, Squall Leonhart…Commander Squall Leonhart, her Knight, had given up.

But he had tried, hadn't he? He had tried for a long time…and got discouraged…and disheartened…and couldn't keep looking around to only see empty houses and strangers. _…I don't even know…how he could have handled all of that… _And doesn't that count for something…? But he had given up on them. He had chosen to ignore that part of his life because it hurt too much. He had chosen to start over, which was good, but to push all of them out of his head forever? Wasn't that the wrong way to deal with something like that?

Her heart pounded, conflicted. _…seven years…a new life…and so many stories… _And his friends…and what he had said to Yuffie, the very person who had made this conversation possible…that part hurt too, because that friend had only been trying to help and she thought that Squall had learned from them. He had started over, but not let go of his destructive thoughts. Rinoa sighed, staring at him, heart unbalanced. _…I've never seen…your eyes this…sad before… _The thought made her heart squeeze. His story had been difficult to tell, she knew. Because this moment, one he thought he could never get back, had come…and what could he say to the people he had stopped looking for, anyway? _…and…what can I say to that?…To all of that?_

Realizing probably a few seconds too late that her silence was torturing him, Rinoa blinked again. "Squall, I—" Her mouth opened and closed a few times, with no sound coming. She swallowed thickly, trying to arrange her thoughts coherently so that she could give him something, but failed. "…I…don't know what to say…"

She saw the hurt in Squall's eyes, the dark thoughts creeping back into his irises, and knew that that was probably the wrong thing to state. _No…wait…don't think…_ "…Squall…please…don't look at me like that…" She moved her hand to his face, touching his cheek softly. _…I don't…I don't know how I feel yet…_ "I…I just……That was a lot to take in…"

He winced at her compassionate tone, anxiety blasting every nerve. _…why…isn't she angry…at what I've done…? _Squall swallowed thickly, looking away from her brown eyes, feeling unsettled and confused. _…why…isn't she upset…? _Wasn't she supposed to be angry? Wasn't her reaction to his story, his _excuses_, part of his fear? Part of all of that thinking he had promised her that he would stop? _…why…doesn't she hate me…for what I've done? _…Why did it seem so simple now when all this time, he had been preparing himself for the steepest uphill climb? Wasn't all of this supposed to be hard? "…Rinoa…" His jaw shook, unable to ask her the question in his thoughts because the hand was about to squeeze his heart into plasma.

She noticed the change in expression on his face as his words stopped. She watched as his forehead crinkled, his body language as he turned from her. _…are you…angry…? _"What is it, Squall?" Rinoa's voice was louder now, leaving her puzzled feelings to be dealt with later because even though it had been seven years, she didn't think she could ever forget the way his mind worked. _…why…are you looking at me like that…? _

Squall's lips were pressed together in a thin line, teeth clenched to keep his jaw from shaking. Because wasn't an angry outburst what he deserved? Didn't she hear him? He had given up on them; that was a fact that she couldn't derail him from. He had changed his name because he was ashamed of that part of his life. Of them. And what he couldn't do for them all those years ago. That had been his _choice_, his _mistake_…so why hadn't she slapped him or yelled at him or told him to get away from her yet? _…why don't you hate me…when I have given you every reason to? _Why…was she making this so easy?

"…Why…" His voice was small and quiet and nothing like she had ever heard, but he knew he had to ask her or else he would never know and he would be right back where he started, wouldn't he? Squall's heart sped up as the words finally left his lips, the universe holding in its laughter towards the coward who couldn't seem to get his head on straight. "…why aren't you…angry…?"

Now, it was Rinoa's turn to frown. _…what? _There was a pause and Squall braced himself. He bowed his head and stared at the wood under his feet. This was it. Truth. For abandoning them and all his actions towards them and Yuffie, he would get what he deserved. Her voice came to him, almost sounding exhausted, but the words were not what he was expecting. "…Do you _want_ me to be angry with you?"

The words hit him hard but Squall couldn't find the strength to face her. Because he was still a coward, wasn't he? And his voice, staying true to his character, came out small and defeated and uncertain. Because he didn't know what he wanted anymore. He didn't know if he deserved both and he didn't know what he should be feeling because he had made too many mistakes with the people he loved and he supposed that this was his punishment. All this uncertainty, the very thing all those schedules and routines were supposed to protect him from. "…Rinoa. I—"

His reply died in his throat when he felt Rinoa let go of his hands and move away from him. He winced, because this was going to be the hard part. This would be the part where he would ask for her forgiveness, even though it wouldn't come. And it would hurt, even though he deserved it, and even though he had been preparing for that rejection for seven years, right? Squall waited to hear her footsteps, those creaks in the wood as she moved away from him, but they didn't come. _…why… hasn't she…walked away…? _

Slowly, he tilted his head up towards her face and saw her standing up on the step next to him. Moving quickly, with his eyes and head following her, she maneuvered her body so that she found herself standing in front of him, on the step that was below the one he was sitting on. _…Squall… _She crouched down slightly, keeping her balance between his spaced out knees, and holding her frown. _…I want you to stop… I want you to stop all of this…_ "You know…I think…you want me to be angry with you."

Squall remained silent, not wanting to verbally agree at how ridiculous he sounded. She raised an eyebrow at him, but still, he did not see any anger in her eyes. It was still dark pools of brown with the tiny white spot in the middle of it all. Truth. "Well, listen here," she continued, "If you want me to be angry with you, I won't be. Because I'm not." Each word was punctuated with a finger pointed in his direction.

His lips trembled, looking at her and her eyes. But he couldn't let that thought go. He had given her every right to be mad…so why…was she making this so easy? He had told her all of his faults and she had just…accepted all of them, without blinking, it seemed. She was supposed to be mad, wasn't she? She was supposed to be yelling and screaming at him and asking him how he could do that to his friends, wasn't she? Squall let out his breath again, trying to understand the mess he had made. "…Why…not?"

…_Oh, Squall…why are you thinking this way…? _Rinoa noticed his conflict as he tried to keep eye contact. "Because I'm not…" She shrugged at him, giving him a tiny smile, but her tone did not lose its edge. "Besides, I don't want to satisfy any little self-fulfilling prophecy you have going on in your head right now, okay?"

Steel-blue eyes focused on her feet. _…what's…wrong with me…? _Squall found his mouth opening and closing, but still, no sound. Even though all his logic was pointing to the fact that she _should _be angry with him, it wasn't true. Rinoa was looking at him without a spot of anger in her eyes. But she should be. Her reaction, her angry reaction, her rejection of him from all the horrible and terrible things that he had done, was his fear. It was what kept him away because he didn't want to face up to those faults because he didn't want her to change what she thought about him...but since when had he cared about what other people thought of him, anyway?

But why hadn't it happened like it should have? _…like…I expected it……_Why wasn't this hard? Why was she…so…accepting…of everything that he had done? _…when…she shouldn't be… _Wasn't her anger something that he deserved…for his abandonment? For his words to Yuffie? Because wouldn't that be justice? For his sins, he would not be able to keep this happiness and this moment? Wasn't that what he deserved? He blinked slowly, making words come out of his mouth as the thoughts kept spinning around the Grand Hall. "…I …don't…understand."

"I'm not angry with you."

"But…" Squall blinked again, feeling those thoughts pile up in his head as if there was quicksand in his skull. His lips couldn't move fast enough, his neurons weren't firing correctly and all the words and emotions he wanted to say were being stalled. This wasn't making sense because she was supposed to be mad…right? "…But, Rinoa…I…"

He heard her sigh as the words kept pushing through the sand. "Squall. Listen to me. I'm not angry with you."

His mouth opened and closed a few times, unable to believe what he was hearing. His ears were ringing and the next thing he knew, his voice came out loud, the words finally making it. "—But _why not_?!" There was a flash in his eyes as his confusion fueled his anger but Rinoa leaned closer to him, unfazed. Squall swallowed thickly at her closeness, memorizing the detail on her face that the moonlight allowed, and another part of his conflicted mind reminded him that this was a moment he wanted back, wasn't it? As they stared at one another, the question came again, albeit this time quieter. "…why…aren't you angry with me? …I've done…a terrible thing…"

"Because I'm not. I'm not saying that I agree with your actions, but I'm not angry." She explained, sighing again. Rinoa saw her opening, grit her teeth, and pushed on. "...You're Squall Leonhart. The strongest person I know. You've been using your time wisely…helping that boy…and you've been making friends and you've had quite life and I just don't understand why…you aren't proud of all of that… Why can't you see what I see?

"You've been trying to get everything in the entire universe the way it was and that counts for something... That's major!" Rinoa huffed, trying to get through to him and trying not to cry, because the thought of him giving up on them still hurt just a little bit. "…You made a decision, Squall. When you went back to Yuffie and that guy…Cid, you made a decision. You weighed your options and you debated and you challenged…and I can't imagine how hard it was for you…but you couldn't go on like that…I wouldn't have wanted you to…

"…You made a choice. You knew the odds. A—And even though…it doesn't seem right at this moment, when you made that decision…you decided on what was best for you at that time. And I can't ask any more of you…because that's just not fair to you..."

Eyes still on the ground, Squall countered her, that tiny voice taking a hold of him and laughing. "…but I was wrong. I…I should have kept looking…because you were still here…I made the wrong decision…I changed my _name_, Rinoa, because I didn't want to tie myself in any way to the things I gave up on…"

"But you're human, Squall…and I wouldn't have wanted you to run yourself into the ground looking…" She spoke softly. "You are my Knight, Commander, top ranked SeeD…but you are still human and I can't blame you for not finding me the first time. The universe is much bigger than any of us could have even imagined. We are just…so tiny and insignificant in comparison to all of that and I can't be mad at you for not finding me because the odds are so small…and this moment, in itself, is a miracle...

"And anyway, h—how can you be so sure that it was the wrong choice…? You don't know what would have happened if you decided _not_ to join those two that day. We might have never met at all…You might have been killed if you hadn't joined those two, for all we know…Yuffie wouldn't have made this search and this m—moment wouldn't have come… and what then? You would still…be sad…and you would still have those thoughts telling you that you failed…

"…I'm glad that you're here now, Squall." Rinoa's lip trembled, mind reeling from her hurt and her happiness. She quickly wiped away the stray tears before they fell too far down her face. "I'm glad to hear…that you've made a new life for yourself…I'm really glad that you made friends and what you're doing and all of that…and I'm so glad that I got to see you again. I'm so unbelievably happy that you're here because this might of never happened if…if things didn't go the way they had went……Why can't you…just be proud of what you've done so far…? Can't you see that…all of that counts for something…?"

He looked away from her again, still unable to name the emotion coursing through him. She was right, and this was a fact that took him a while to admit that he knew; there was no guarantee that the other choice would have given him results. And he would never know. That part of him was silenced at her words and slowly losing grip as Squall's mind being to move. His work…all of his work with Sora and everyone back at Hollow Bastion……it must count for something, right?

Maybe there was a reason for all of _this_, even if he didn't believe in that kind of stuff. Maybe all of _that _and _him _and _her _and _then _and _there _had to happen to get this moment back. Maybe all of _that _was a test to see if he was indeed worthy of getting all the moments he wanted back…if he had finally redeemed himself… Maybe this, this conversation, this closeness, was…a reward. A small piece of the bigger prize, if he kept going. And maybe the point to all of this suffering, his inner suffering, was to show him…exactly just how important they were to him.

Squall realized a few seconds too late that he was still staring at his feet and at all the loose nails below him. Why was he stalling? Why wasn't he talking back to her? Hadn't he been through this? No more fear because fear was what stopped him in the first place? That fear of their rejection, their attitudes towards the man who had let them go…the man who does _that _to his friends? _…but what…about Yuffie? _Squall felt his heart get heavy; he knew that he had a lot more to do and a lot more to fix. His work and his sacrifice wasn't enough for that part.

"No…" His voice finally came, "…no, I am not proud…" He remembered his dreams and his pain and the other regret when he remembered Yuffie and her tear-streaked face and her tinted cheeks. His friend. And what he had said to her. And what she had truly done for him. And what she deserved from him. _…Hyne…I came out here…to make this right…not to feel sorry for myself…not for self-pity… _The wind was picking up again, nearly drowning out his voice and the sound of his beating heart. "…I'm not proud…of what I did to her…"

Squall felt Rinoa's breath on his face as she leaned in closer. There was another pause before her voice came to him, soft and compassionate with a challenge. "…Then what are you going to do about it, Squall?"

He winced, but forced himself to face her and look her in the eye. Because she deserved at least that, didn't she? She deserved to see him being brave and facing up to his faults and following through. Because even though he couldn't take back _that _choice, he still had the power to do something about this one. And he would. Because he was here to make everything right again. There was that look in her eye when he looked up that made the words spill out before being processed in his mind. "…I have to go back. A—And talk to her."

There was that smile again, warm and beautiful and understanding and something else familiar…one that he didn't think he could ever forget. _…Squall…you…you will be strong…and you will do this…because I love you too much to see you hurt yourself like this… _Rinoa stared at him, seeing his eyes soften, cocking her head slightly to the left, and noticed how close they were to each other. "…and apologize, right?"

He nodded at her, feeling a tingle when her hand rested on his again. "Yes…of course. I'll go…the second the sun comes up…" Squall stared at her, seeing how close their noses were. At her proximity, his mind switched gears again. He knew that even if Yuffie had spent all night fixing the engine, she would be too tired to leave. She would wait until morning. She had to. She had always liked to sleep in.

And even though he knew that every second counted, and fear was what got people killed, and routines and predictable natures couldn't really be trusted anymore, he didn't think he could face her just yet. He was still deep in his mess and he needed a little more time. He felt his heart slow down and he forced himself to be calm. He would do this. He would. He would not be afraid and man up to his errors. …because he couldn't deny what his heart wanted. Because even though this time and this closeness with Rinoa had always been a moment he wanted back, he wanted Yuffie back just as much.

"…when…the sun comes up…?" Rinoa echoed, blinking slowly. She figured that they had at least a few more hours of darkness left and she was grateful that she could spend just that much more time with him. _…you will do this…even if you have to leave… _Her heart shook at the thought of losing him again, but knew it had to be done. _…seven years is too long…to be doing nothing… _They kept staring at one another, both staying still for some time as they both processed what would happen next…so she wasn't expecting his sudden movement.

In a blink, Rinoa found herself being pulled flush against him and being thrown off balance and into a hug, two strong arms encircling her tightly. "—Squall!" She felt his breath on her shoulder and had to wait a few moments for him to speak again.

"…I just want…to be with you…a little while longer…" He mumbled against her neck, holding her tighter. She quickly reciprocated the hug, draping her arms around his neck and shoulders. Squall felt her fingers thread through his hair and he sighed contently. This was a moment he had always wanted. Yes. It was. Just to be able to feel her heartbeat like this. But it wasn't more important than the moments he wanted to get back with Yuffie and the others from Hollow Bastion. And he would work hard to get both because he did want both. And for once, he wouldn't deny himself what he truly wanted. "…Rinoa…?"

She barely heard him, since her skin muffled his voice, but she knew what he had mumbled. Her fingers made one more pass through his longer hair before she responded. The night had finally quieted down and the air was finally light and her heart fluttered in her chest because she was finally with the man she loved. And she was happy. _…a long time coming, too… _And she was happy that Squall's eyes had softened again because that was a good sign. "…Yes…?"

Before she felt his lips move in his response, she gasped aloud as a terrible sensation shook her core. _—what was that…? _Her body tensed in their embrace and she cursed herself for jinxing it. She should have known better. A night like this wouldn't end as peacefully as she thought. _…Oh no…why now…? _Slowly, Squall's arms relaxed from around her in confusion to her body language and she quickly spun around to face the field in front of her.

"Rinoa…?" She heard him and his tone. "What's wrong?"

Using his knee as support, Rinoa slowly stood. She could sense them. They were coming back. A deep breath later and her nerves had already hardened into steel. She was used to sudden attacks and this one would be no different. Already, she could see their tiny little shadows beginning to form in the tall grass in front of her. _…they're already here…and they couldn't wait, could they?_

There was commotion behind her and she didn't need to look to know that Squall had stood as well. He understood now. Clenching her fists tightly and feeling the energy that pooled there, ready to fire, she walked down her porch steps and towards the Heartless that threatened her. The ones that ruined the moment but the ones that wouldn't be around for long. She turned her head slightly, locking eyes with the surprised pair behind her. "…Go wake up Irvine." To her satisfaction, her voice was cool and collected. …_and strong…just like you are…_

Squall stood frozen for a second, watching her walk forward, not wanting to believe that his sense of perception had faltered and if it hadn't been for Rinoa, it might have been too late. He could see them now, yellow eyes becoming solid and then disappearing again a few feet in front of her home. His heart pounded, a feeling that was familiar and right, but he heard her order. _Time to act…Focus. Breathe. Don't hesitate. Move! _There was a suffocating aura, a familiar one, around him as the darkness got closer, but his SeeD training refused to allow him to stand still. _Move! _

Three steps were all it took to cross the porch and to get back into the house. "Irvine!" His feet pounded loudly on the floor as he raced towards his room to get Lionheart. He nearly tripped over his own feet as he moved, as the situation sunk in, but he grabbed his weapon in perfect time. The feel of the handle in his hands never felt so right because this part was something he remembered. The way his body was reacting to the threat was so familiar and somewhat comforting. The blue light of his blade glowed, armed and ready, as he moved back into the main room and towards the door that separated him and Irvine.

"IRVINE! WAKE UP, _NOW_!" The seconds were ticking away and his hand was nearly cracking the weak, wooden door. But this was important. And Irvine needed to wake up. His heart was hammering, sweat was being to pool at his brow, but he knew this part. This part was familiar. These fights to protect the ones he loved and the moments he wanted. "_IRVINE_! That's an order! GET UP!"

When a gust of hot wind blew forcibly through the house, Squall stopped his assault on the door and looked back towards her moonlight form. _…that was…Firaga… Ifrit… _He watched as the brilliant orange flames shot out and burned the shadows that were stupid enough to stay close. _…Rinoa… _His head jerked between her and Irvine's door three times before Squall's feet carried him towards the battle. And as he jumped over the steps and began his run through the tall grass, a part of him hurt because this part felt so familiar…

But this time, the yellow eyes would not take him away. They would not ruin this for him. Because he had worked too hard for this moment to come back for them to just take it away again._ And I still have work to do…I still…have my purpose……and I don't want the darkness you offer… _Steel-grey eyes hardened in their resolve. _…and I won't let them down again…  
_

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I don't know why, guys, but this chapter was REALLY bloody frustrating! It was…like, oh Jesus, I don't know why it was so hard for me to write Squall as being non-emo. (heavy sigh) Well, I hope this was satisfactory. Don't worry, this is the last of these meaningful talks between him and Rinoa. I think he finally got it all out of his system.

A little sneak preview for next chapter: A battle (kinda obvious). And Squall's confrontation with a peeved Pocahontas (oh no!).

PLEASE REVIEW! (and let's see who's going to be Reviewer #100! BONUS!)

PS. Random note: I'm going to Otakuthon in Montreal this year! Wee!! Can't wait! If any of you guys are going, like OMG, that'd be pretty sweet. ^_^

PPS. I am currently obsessed with Avatar: The Last Airbender. And Optimus Prime.


	26. Chapter Twenty Six

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!): **Wee! Chapter 26! And here I thought, when I started writing this story, that it'd be less than 20 chapters. I am SUCH a liar.

FYI: I'm usually very keen on writing battle scenes…but MAN…this one was SO hard to start up! But I finally got my inspiration! Enjoy!

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It had taken him longer than he expected to reach her. He hadn't realized how far out she had gotten and how long he had stayed behind to try and get Irvine out of his room. The still damp grass was crushed under his weight as Squall ran towards Rinoa at top speeds. In his absence, his mind already counting the seconds, he saw that she had been holding up fairly well at keeping the Shadows away.

But he knew, probably better than anyone, how quickly that could change.

Before he could even try to remember Garden, Squall had reached her, focusing on the Heartless that were swaggering towards them. He stayed a few steps behind her though, knowing from the way her arms were moving, magic was coming. With her arms stretched out in front of her body, he watched as she whipped them in a graceful arc, unleashing the Firaga spell without having to speak.

Orange and red and yellow flames blasted out from the palms of her hands and Squall watched as six of the Heartless were struck down from the powerful range. He was reminded of Ifrit, a powerful Guardian Force, and he allowed himself a second to wonder where He and the rest of his Guardian Forces had gone after he woke up. Exhaling sharply, he looked back at her. _Not now. Focus. _She turned her head and their eyes locked. They both knew that they only had a few seconds before the surviving Shadows would collect themselves, so he spoke quickly and decisively. "I'll go up front. Cover me."

Squall's eyes returned to center and before he broke off into another run, he saw Rinoa in his peripherals get ready for another Firaga. The impromptu plan would work well enough; the light from her previous fire blast illuminated the field and the numbers were nothing he couldn't handle. His grip tightened on Lionheart and that tiny voice laughed at him, reminding him of a similar mindset he had about seven years ago. _—Shut up._

Air came in through his nose and out through his mouth as he neared his targets. With no real direction of their own, most of the Shadows scattered as he came near. Some, on the other hand, came forward to meet him. _Focus. Breathe. Go. _Already, his mind was spinning with maneuvers and attacks as the creatures with the yellow eyes got closer. He was good at this; hell, he was trained to kill and he had lost count of how many lives, human or otherwise, had fallen to his blade.

And a part of him wondered if these _things _would count and be written down on that long list he had made for his Judgment Day. _…but you're not dead yet…Focus._

Before his mind could dissect that cruelty, before he could even begin to think about all those other times, the yellow eyes were upon him and in range. Long tendrils of darkness were raised and ready to strike him down. _Don't over think. Just go in and get the job done. Go. _

On his exhale, Squall let out a cry and Lionheart slashed out in front of him, going from left to right. Four Shadows were gone by direct contact, but a blue light projected a few feet ahead of his blade struck down another three that were a few paces back. He took a few more steps before unleashing another wave of strikes, being reminded of his SeeD past as the blue light made lasting impressions on the night sky.

He focused on his breathing. These were just Shadows, nothing spectacular, nothing threatening. He could do this. Steel blue eyes followed the path of one Heartless that slipped into the ground to his right. Timing it, the heel of his foot dug into the earth and he swung around, decapitating it as it surfaced, along with four others who happened to be in the way. The pinkish-red hearts began to rise but he looked away from that. He didn't have time to think about that. _You have to get through this…Go._

The cool night air that had made him shiver moments before was suddenly getting too hot and uncomfortable. Feeling the energy around him change, Squall turned his head back to Rinoa, noting her stance and knew that another Firaga blast coming his way. He dodge-rolled as quickly as he could as she executed her move, narrowly escaping the unpredictable range of the fire that was meant for the seven Heartless at his feet.

The heat of the blast just managed to grace his right arm and as time seemed to slow, he could almost feel his skin bubble. There was little pain, he observed, and quickly chalked the lack of sensation to the fact he was probably high off adrenaline by now. Even though he could see his skin go from white to pink to red, he was too wired to feel it. But by all accounts, wasn't he the one who hadn't been sleeping well for the last couple of days?

While everything was slowing down, Squall's eyes were moving with their own speed, taking in their surroundings to bring up the next equation. They looked over to Rinoa, dismissing her silent apology before looking up and around. Amidst the smoke and ash from the conjured magic that resembled a Guardian long gone, were twenty-six hearts. Twenty-six; he counted every single heart that was freed. He felt his lungs expand, his ribs and muscles working together to take in a breath, and as he counted in the silent battlefield, a fact hit him. Those _things _may not be human…but they were once.

Because at some point, he knew, those pinkish-red strands of energy that formed that Valentine shape that he was watching in fascination as they rose to the stars, belonged to someone. Someone with memories and thoughts and happiness and hope and relationships with people they would never see again. A somebody. …And that counts for something, doesn't it?

He nearly coughed back the breath he had taken, as the soot and charred air burned his dry esophagus. He blinked, feeling that pain, as his mind was brought back into a time-restored present. _Focus, Hyne-dammit. What's wrong with you? _Lionheart shifted in his hands and he was thankful for the gloves he wore because his hands were getting clammy. _Don't over-think. Just get in and get the job done. _He didn't have to chastise himself any further than that because the equation was already filled and those off-tangent thoughts were gone on his next inhale. Just like his training had taught him.

Because he knew that he couldn't afford to be distracted by thoughts like that. He had a job to do. He had to get through this as quickly as possible because he still had to talk to Yuffie. Because he wanted that back more than ever.

Making a quick left, he came upon another gathering of Heartless that had missed Rinoa's Thundaga spell. Lionheart spun proudly, blue blade hitting accurately and precisely. Black, wispy arms were sliced off, with their heads following soon after all within a blink of his eyes. The Shadows disappeared, not knowing what hit them, unable to even _think _about hitting back. It was perfection. Picture perfect, even with the image of five more hearts disappearing into the night sky. This was so familiar to him, this _feeling_, and he felt so at ease because these types of battles were a simple, practiced routine.

And that was something he didn't think he could ever shake out. Besides, this was the easy part.

His heart was pounding hard against his ribcage, fueling his adrenaline, his strength, that burning feeling in his over-working muscles because he couldn't seem to remember the last time he had any decent sleep. Or the last decent fight. Squall moved with a practiced ease, gracefully and soundlessly, taking out three more Shadows, as Rinoa let loose three more Thundagas in a row. When he heard the familiar crackle of the lightning touching down, that smell, that tingle on his skin, he let his mind wander into the side of nostalgia. Because it was the two of them. Fighting. …like before. Like long ago. All he had to do was pretend Rinoa's face wasn't as old as his, pretend that the Heartless were the Creeps from the Deling sewers and it'd be as if nothing happened.

…_Rinoa… _Another cry and two more Shadows were gone. But he couldn't pretend anymore. He owed it to Yuffie now more than ever. Because something did happen. Something terrible and horrible but this time, he wouldn't pretend. He was finally going to do something about it. He knew now that even if it was indeed his fate to be chased forever, to fail and lose the ones he loved...he would go against that with every fiber of his being until his last breath. He would push back and re-write it and tell the cosmos to save that plan for someone else stupid enough to want it.

Because he never believed in that nonsense anyway. And for once, as Lionheart came down again, a part of him made him acknowledge that he deserved better than that.

Blood pounded in his ears as he moved quickly, side-stepping and dodging Rinoa's magic when appropriate. Swinging and slicing at the ones that got too close, the blurs of black and blue and yellow and moonlight spinning around him. The air was hot and charged and it clung to his skin, but at one point, he felt the temperature drop suddenly. _…Blizzaga…_Squall smiled faintly, watching two Shadows becoming frozen in their own personal block of ice. He changed his direction, turning on the heels of his feet, and two cuts later, the ice sculptures that were side by side slid apart into four separate pieces.

His breathing was getting laboured as the thirty-fourth heart rose into the sky. His body forced him to pause, just for a second…because what good was he if he would be fighting tired? If he got too exhausted, he would get sloppy and he couldn't afford that. He was good at precise routines, but he needed to be alert and ready. Squall conceded to his logic; keeping his stance steady, Lionheart out in front of him, his eyes scanned the field for the Shadows that wanted to capitalize on his stagnant position. _Deep breaths…Focus…Get your heart rate under control… _He watched the grounds carefully, watching them sink under and pop up, already shifting through more equations and formulas to be prepared for his next move.

But his heart and mind stopped and his skin went cold when he felt the hairs at the back of his neck stand up. That familiar sense of dread gripped him and he knew without a shadow of doubt, he had turned his back on the enemy. He only gave himself half a second to be angry with himself at such an amateurish mistake. He had more important things to worry about. He exhaled and he felt time slowing down again. _…Focus…Focus…Go._

"—Squall! Behind you!" He was sure that he heard Rinoa's voice, her warning, amidst all the battle sounds, and his body immediately began to turn to meet the Shadow. Lionheart was picking up momentum from its position, his grip tight, and he knew it wouldn't be too long before the Heartless stupid enough to sneak up on him would be gone.

Squall's eyes flashed as he got a look at his assailant in mid-turn. _…what? _His heart pounded because this wasn't a regular Shadow as he had anticipated. With his side vision, he assessed the creature: bigger and more…humanoid, for a lack of a better word. But he refused to ever think that these things would never be human, even if they had the heart of one. His jaw set and he pushed aside his surprise; it was still a Heartless and it would fall regardless of what size it was.

As Lionheart connected smoothly, slicing across the neck of the thing, he had expected a quick death from the blow. He thought that the creature would fall to the ground without its head and float away…but it was merely just thrown off balance from its jumping strike. It landed elegantly, its eyes still focused on him. The only damage Squall could see on the creature was a faint grey line just above its collarbone. The move he had just executed should have taken it out but…but it didn't die. _…what?_

The thing charged at him quickly, with barely any pause from his attack, as if Lionheart didn't even touch it. _—Move! _Just in time, breaking from his evaluation, Squall's legs moved him backwards to avoid its longer arms. The black, rigid claws had managed to just graze the skin of his torso, slicing through the cotton shirt he wore and leaving him chilled. Yellow eyes stared eerily, continuing its assault, left and then right and then left and then right again.

He blocked most of its strikes with his blade, holding Lionheart out to intercept the claws. He tried to get the upper hand, but the thing was much faster than the other Shadows he had took out. _…what…is this…? _He felt the air grow hot again and began to move to his right, seeing Rinoa unleash a Firaga in his direction. But it must have sensed it too because even though it had its back to his Sorceress, there was a pause when Lionheart no longer felt the shocks of its attacks. It suddenly disappeared from his sight.

It sunk into the ground like ink, and reappeared at his left side once the fire had dissipated in the air. Immediately, Squall took advantage of its break, leaving more light grey lines on its chest and arms. Every time he hit, maximum damage and maximum speed achieved, there was no stumble or pause…and the thing's next reach in retaliation to the five hits it had received nearly tore his left arm from its socket. _What is this…?! _Squall set his teeth and tried again, trying another formula, trying not to be pushed backwards anymore.

"_SQUALL_!" Rinoa shouted, concern and anxiety spreading through her body. She had watched the strange new Shadow dodge her fire and was watching it force him towards the forested areas. _…it's trying…to corner him…oh no…Please, Hyne…no… _Swallowing thickly, she paused, heart hammering. _…you can't take him away after bringing him here like this…_

Her teeth clenched together, anger beginning to mount, throwing aside her nerves and making them harden again. _…and I won't let you take him away… _Dark eyes narrowed and she brought the image of Quezacotl into her mind, feeling her energy pool. She shot out her arm above her head, intending to release a Thundaga right over top the pestering Shadow's body. _Dodge this… _She felt the tingles of the charge work through her arm before they shot up and out.

Upon hearing her shout and feeling the atmosphere around him change, Squall made one more stab at the creature before taking another three steps back. He watched, with his breath held, as the white-hot lightning struck down less than a second later. The flash was quick, just as nature intended it to be and he winced from the closeness and brightness of it. But it had hit dead on and the Shadow didn't have time to even _think _about hitting back.

And when the brightness finally faded and his eyes adjusted, he saw three new hearts in the sky. But the chill was still there, that suffocating feeling and he couldn't believe it. _…Dammit… _Squall blinked forcibly, to make sure what he was seeing was true, because when the smoke cleared from the destructive blast, the yellow eyes were still there, its black skin smoking, in front of him.

It titled its head, as if curiously thinking about the energy that hit, as if it had a brain. His eyes narrowed in frustration. _A Thundaga…like that…dead-on…and it…it… _Squall didn't have a chance to finish his thought, a stupid waste of precious time he knew, before it came at him again. Lionheart came in front of him in defense, automatic defense, and he found himself holding his breath again, especially when the long reach of it made a move for the pounding organ in his chest.

"—Get off!" He managed to grit out through clenched teeth as its arms kept grabbing. There was a stalemate for a few moments, his muscles straining against the unexpected force and weight, before his strength finally came through and he flung the strange Shadow a few feet off and in front of him. Squall gathered what was left of his energy and ran forward, intending to end this battle. _…it can't…have much left now…_

The yellow eyes saw him advance and jumped up to meet him, arms outstretched and ready to take him away. Squall frowned and brought his blade up from left to right, pulling the trigger on his gunblade for the first time in years. _…because I don't want…the eternal rest you offer… _He watched his slash in slow-motion, the yellow eyes just getting close enough for discomfort; Lionheart had swung cleanly through its mid-section before its hands could reach him, the vibrations of the blade's trigger lacerating a bigger wound and making it shake.

This time, Squall was sure his lone attack would be enough, but as his blade made it through its left shoulder there was something else. The sound of another trigger being pulled with a terrible recoil off to his right. _…what…?_

In front of his eyes, time suddenly restored, Squall watched the head of the strange Shadow become engulfed in a cloud of fire. The yellow eyes were hidden from his view and he wasn't sure if he heard it screaming or if his ears were ringing because someone was thinking about him. There was a heavy explosion as the bullet hit its mark and finally, to his relief…the creature fell. Breathing hard, Squall felt his heart hammer, safely behind his ribcage and away from the creature's hands.

He kept still for a second, watching curiously, slightly unnerved to see no heart rising in the air and watching the Shadow's form practically melt away instead of fading away. _…what…? _Squall swallowed thickly before turning his head to the right to identify the shooter because he could think about that other stuff later. He let himself smile a little bit as Irvine's form came into his view. Standing on the porch with an Exeter that had probably seen better days, his friend stood confidently, smirking back.

"It's a party, now!" He cried out to the two of them, popping in another round of ammo and cocking the gun. Irvine held Exeter up to his shoulder before unleashing the next batch of Fire Ammo at a trio of unsuspecting Shadows.

The resounding bang that filled the air finally got Squall moving again. He hadn't realized how far away he had gotten from the house until he realized that he had to jog back to Rinoa's form. "Squall!" She called out to him with concern as he neared, in between another Firaga spell, "…are you all right?!"

Taking another swing at the remaining Shadows as he kept moving, their eyes locked. "I'm fine."

She nodded, sweet relief flooding her at his assurance. "Good. Then let's end this." Rinoa took a deep breath, forcing away her tiredness, and focused her magic on the Heartless that stood a few feet away. Body finally calm, now that Squall was out of direct harm's way, the magic came easily. Fingers spread out, she grit her teeth and pushed out thirteen Stop spells, one for every left over Shadow. Including another of the strange kind.

Her eyes flashed open and she quickly held up a hand to stop Squall and Irvine from taking target practice on the still forms. "Save your ammo," Rinoa called out to Irvine. Turning to Squall, she smiled a little. "Save your strength…I don't think any of the natives will see this part anyway…"

Another steadying breath and she was ready. She had stuck to simple nature-based attacks out of caution, out of routine, because it wasn't like she could explain the likes of Meteor to the natives and expect complete understanding. But she just wanted to end this now; she was tired and didn't want to have to deal with another one of those larger Shadows again and waste more of her lower magic. _…come on…a one-shot kill…_

Even though she didn't have to say it, Rinoa felt the urge to whisper the name of her next spell. _…for old time's sake… _"_ULTIMA_!" Her energy rose to a peak, filling every artery and vein, before practically exploding out of her and towards the still Shadows. It was a white, burning blast that came from her palms as her arms straightened out in front of her. Slowly moving her arms apart, but still keeping them straight, the force of the pure light ripped the darkness right off the heart it held and made the night landscape look like high noon.

_Hyne… _Squall watched on, mesmerized by her magic and by the pair of faintly outlined angel wings that appeared on her back as it happened. _…Rinoa… _He shielded his eyes and looked away as the last of the Heartless ceased to exist. The light died down moments later and his eyes adjusted again, the moonlight and the sky's darkness returning. Deep breathing was all that was heard for a few moments, each of them processing the battle and what had happened.

It was the cowboy who finally broke the silence, giving the lone female a round of applause. "Alright, Rinoa! Way to show 'em!" Irvine hollered from the porch, his fist pumping the air. "…Sorry about the late show, though. Couldn't find my Fire Ammo, you know?"

Rinoa waited until Squall was close to her side, his hand in hers, before turning to Irvine. "Well, I tell you to keep it next to the door for this exact reason, but _no_. You don't listen. Next time, maybe we won't be so lucky." She gave him a light smile, not entirely angry with him, but still wanting to drive the point home.

"Sorry…I'll be quicker on the draw next time…You know I don't make the same mistake twice…" Irvine smirked warily, knowing he was in the wrong. _…but hey…you and Squall were doing quite well by yourselves…_ He moved to the left to give his friends enough room to make it up the stairs. _…and, come on, you gotta admit…that was pretty damn exhilarating…to let loose a spell like that… _

"I hope so, Irvine…" Rinoa playfully scolded him, hoping he would finally take heed to her advice. "You know how hard it would be for me to explain myself if the natives saw me use _that _spell. They might not like the idea of having a witch so close by…They might cut us off…"

"Ain't that the truth…" Irvine patted her shoulder in his apology, following the pair of them back into the house at long last. Not forgetting about the newest addition to the home, the taller man turned to his friend. "Nice moves out there, Commander…"

At his sudden inclusion in the conversation, Squall was taken back slightly. He had been thinking about that strange Heartless and the heat and the charge and the chill from Rinoa's fingers as they walked. His brain finally caught up with the words and he could only hope that he patched up his surprise smoothly. "Uh…T—Thank you…"

"Glad to see you haven't been slacking off." He smirked at him, moving slowly towards his room on the left. Squall looked over to him, not understanding why he had stopped following them, before he realized that he was still holding onto Rinoa and that she had walked past his room already.

They had taken a few more steps towards her room before she stopped and turned to face him. At this point, with the quiet in his mind, Squall couldn't figure out if it was relief or disappointment that came over him when they stopped. A split second later, and she smiled at him warmly, squeezing his hand again. "Some fight, huh?"

"…Yes." He nodded, remembering the strength and perseverance of the Heartless that had pestered him. "Have you…ever seen a Shadow like that before?" He asked seriously, in context to the more humanoid one. Thinking back to a conversation he had, Sora had called it a Neoshadow, something rare and strong that couldn't be taken lightly.

"No, actually." Rinoa said, after a few minutes of thought and contemplation. "I've never seen ones like that before…" She could instantly see the concern wash over his features, but felt that it was misplaced. _…don't worry about little ol' me, Squall… _"Whatever it was," she continued, "it doesn't stand a chance against Ultima, that's for sure. I'll be sure to save that spell for those ones."

The thought scared him, her going into battle with a stronger and more determined Heartless without him, and it made his heart pound with worry for her and Irvine's safety because two against a million aren't the best of odds and they would need a plan in case more of them starting coming and attacking them or the natives… Before he could even think about saying a word, another squeeze of his fingertips sent it aside. _Rinoa…_ Looking at her dark eyes, Squall's mind stopped. He knew how strong she had gotten and knew the effects of Ultima on creatures like that and that would be enough, right? Enough until Sora came to lock the heart of the world, right? She could handle herself until then, right?

"Squall…" Rinoa's voice came to him, snapping him out of his worry again. "Don't worry about me. I'm not the scared little sixteen year old who just got Sorceress' powers handed to her. Come on, have a little faith in me."

He nodded and took a deep breath, adverting his eyes for a second. He knew that she was right; he could feel the energy in the atmosphere around her even when she wasn't calling a spell. She was powerful enough and had told him already that she didn't need rescuing any more. _…Rinoa… _Even though the feeling of protectiveness didn't leave, Squall knew that she could, and would, hold on fine on her own.

They didn't say anything to one another for a few minutes and it came to Squall as a surprise when she chuckled softly. "…You just going to stand there, or are you going to kiss me goodnight?" Rinoa smiled, a blush coming across her cheeks as she tilted her head up at him. _No more anxiety…it's over and we beat them and that'll keep happening…even when you go back to Yuffie… _She repeated her thoughts in her head, mostly to herself, to keep her confidence. _No more worrying out of you, mister… _

Squall blinked a few times, looking to the floor and back to her face twice before finding enough sense in his body to move forward. He gave her a gentle smile, something that had always been a rare, brilliant thing to her, before turning his face to the right and kissing her on her cheek. "Goodnight." His eyes wandered as he pulled away, feeling shy and awkward and weird, but… content. And as much as he wanted to tell himself to grow up and to act his age, he didn't mind this feeling, this situation, all that much.

He caught her smiling at him again, blush still present on her face. "Goodnight, Squall. I'll see you in the morning." Rinoa's heart fluttered at his sweet and innocent gesture of affection as she moved backwards towards the door to her room. Turning the knob slowly, letting the sound echo, she took one more look at him standing in front of her bashfully before giving him a tiny wave and closing the door behind her.

A breath escaped him. Squall stood there, looking at the door for some time, not quite sure what was happening or where he was or what time it was. It wasn't until he heard Irvine's voice that he remembered that there was a third party present through all of that. "You had me going for a second there, Commander…"

Turning quickly on the balls of his feet, Squall faced his taller friend. Smirk stuck to his face, Irvine was leaning casually against the doorframe to his own room, arms folded. There was a pause before the sniper finished his thought. "…I really thought you were going to follow her in there."

At Squall's blink and slightly surprised expression, he shrugged. _…man, some things just don't change, do they? _"Ah well. Next time, I guess." He rolled his back along the doorframe towards his room, ready to move over the last few feet to his bed. It had been a long night and sleep was calling. A very interesting night, but long and tiring nonetheless.

Just as his foot crossed the threshold to his room, Irvine heard Squall call out. "Irvine, wait…"

Suppressing a yawn, he turned to face him again. "Can it wait until morning, Squall…?" He watched as the older man blinked several times, trying to gather his words and trying to wrap his own head around what was happening now and what had happened then. _…it's been a lot for all of us, Squall…don't forget that…_

After a few unsuccessful attempts at getting his words out, Squall finally managed it. Because Irvine was important too. He needed to know everything, just like Quistis and Zell and Rinoa. "Look, I—I just…wanted to apologize…for earlier……and for not…getting here sooner…And—"

He was stopped by Irvine's raised hand. "Squall…don't bother. It's cool, man. Whatever. We're all just a little shell-shocked, I guess……And besides, I heard your life story through the open window when you told it to Rinoa. Gotta say, that's some pretty messed up stuff that's happening to the universe…" Another smirk came his way. "…and I'm pretty damn sure that the universe is ecstatic that you're there on the front lines. At least I know that we have a fighting chance."

There was another pause before Squall nodded to him, appreciating his words. "What happened that day," Irvine continued, eyes getting distant, "…I dunno, maybe it was meant to be, cruel as that sounds. Or maybe it was random and it was just a roll of the die and Garden got picked to get destroyed… But, you know, it could have been a lot worse. We all could have _died_…We all could be stuck in Hell right now and be missing out on all this information…and all these moments…and all this change…all the beautiful and the scary and the disappointing and the good and bad…"

And as Squall looked him over, he felt a pang of sadness hit him. _…Selphie… _And he had to wonder what made him so special that he got the woman he loved back? Why couldn't Irvine obtain that luxury? He was just as deserving, if not more so. And what about his memories? What about Quistis' or Selphie's? Why couldn't they all be on the same page? Why couldn't everyone in the universe just know and not pretend? "…It's not fair, though…"

Irvine nodded. "Yeah, it's not." When his blue eyes met his friend's, it was obvious how much it hurt. "Sometimes, I think that I would be better off dead. Just to hurry up and end it because a life without a real home and place and friends is just…not good enough. But… I'm not dead, so, I just gotta keep living. That's life. Sometimes, shit just doesn't work itself out right away. Sometimes, you always get the short end of the stick and I had to wonder how many times it would be me before things got better…"

He paused again, trying hard to keep his voice leveled. "…But Squall, those things you said…it gives me…hope. And that's something that's really hard to come by these days. That kid and those things…it gives me enough hope to think that m—maybe all this will work out…and things will go back to normal…or at least, close to normal. And maybe, I can see Selphie again and not just pretend to feel okay with the fact that she's on some island, happy, without knowing, without choice…"

There was a sound in the room that took Squall a few seconds to realize that it was his own voice speaking. _…because everyone deserves at least that… _"…I hope so, too."

* * *

The river had finally calmed down enough for her to take her canoe out and begin the hard paddle upstream. _…the river…the river keeps reappearing in my dreams… _Pocahontas pushed the canoe forward with all her strength, ignoring the second healer's island this time around. _…there has to be something else…_

She hadn't been able to sleep since she saw Yuffie working under the light of the moon. Since she knew where Leon had went. _…the healer…_All she could think about were her dreams and the words they had shared before they went out looking for him. That truth. That story that Yuffie had told her that made her eyes widen in shock and awe…that information that told her just how dangerous those creatures were. _…permanent destruction that I can not allow. I've had these dreams for a reason…and their foresight has almost finished…_

Pocahontas was thankful that the current was not as it usually was, or else she would have had to go around the long way the waterfall. _…this river…the waterfall in the Enchanted Glade is what feeds it…there must be something there…My dreams…would not have let me hear the river if it wasn't important… _Gradually, her canoe made it up the river and it wasn't too long after when she could hear the sounds of water falling.

Moving her canoe to the left, she carefully maneuvered herself to one of the few ledges where she could anchor. Quickly as she could, Pocahontas jumped out of the canoe with a dagger and onto the rocks, tying the rope on the nose of her canoe to the trunk of a nearby tree. _…those things…are here to take away the heart of Mother Earth…I can't allow that… _From the rain and the splashing tide, the rocks under her feet were slippery and cold so she moved cautiously and slowly towards the source of the sounds. _…the waterfall…_

The sky had begun to lighten, but Pocahontas knew that the day would not start for another few hours. And as she moved, she took comfort in that fact because she didn't want anyone else to know what she was doing. And what she knew. _This is something much bigger than we could ever imagine…and I owe it to Yuffie to keep my silence…and to help in any way I can… _The forests and animals rustled around her, looking on, and holding their breath at her actions.

She wasn't sure what she would find once she finished her investigation of the waterfall. As she got within a few feet of the roaring cascade of water, she tightened her grip on her weapon, just in case there was an unfriendly creature waiting for her. And while a part of her was ready for it, for anything, she wished for nothing at all to be there.

Pocahontas pushed back a few stray branches and stepped carefully on the rocks that would lead her to the area behind the waterfall. The dark and wet place was full of moss, but not much else, as the little sunlight that could filter through could not sustain any more visible life. The waterfall was nearly deafening at this point, but she kept moving forward. _…there must be something… _

A light mist sprayed her body as she moved deeper into the rock. _…but what…? _Hands out in front of her, she focused her eyes using what little light came through as much as she could. She could see that the wall behind the waterfall was spongy from all the moss and the area under her feet was mostly water-eroded flat rock. Placing an open palm on the wall, Pocahontas paused, breathing deeply. _…there's…something…here… _She had always been very connected with the spirits, able to feel them in the trees and grass as they hid amongst the mortal realm…but this feeling was different.

Using both hands, she began to clear away the moss, the life in the stone becoming stronger and more obvious. _…what…is this…? _It felt so different, as if the stone was alive, pulsing with an energy she had never felt before. _…what…? _Almost frantic with her heart pounding, Pocahontas did not stop until the wall was cleared. She took a small step backwards, feeling the water drench her back, and could not believe her eyes.

Imbedded in the rock in front of her was a deep outline of a keyhole. It was a very peculiar hieroglyph and she was almost afraid to admit that the style in which it was created was not familiar. It almost seemed to glow and Pocahontas didn't have to touch it to know where that energy she had felt was coming from. _…is this…it…?_

* * *

WOW. Long chapter! I realize how much of my other story plots take a backseat when I have to do Squall, so YAY! Pocahontas is back with a purpose! lol SHE FOUND THE KEYHOLE!

Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed this. I sure did. It's my birthday tomorrow (July 19th), so I wanted to get this chapter up before hand as a birthday gift to me! (I'm so happy). Bonus props to anyone who can find the Matrix quote I put in here. ^^ I like Irvine's words to Squall, but again, because he is quite the minor character at Rinoa's house, I hope they aren't TOO random and quick…

Well, until next time guys! PS. I've suddenly remembered that I can respond back to reviewers. Expect this!

PLEASE REVIEW


	27. Chapter Twenty Seven

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!): **Thanks for all the birthday love. ^_^ Onwards to the story!

PS. Just wanted to tell all of you that Otakuthon in Montreal was **SOOOO** much fun. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw two guys dressed up as the soldiers from Halo AND some chick as Hexadecimal from Reboot. I nearly died. Me and my friend dressed up as Selphie and Rinoa from FF8 (respectively) and we got a fair share of love. We also kicked ass at the late-night DDR party. ^^ Is it sad that we're 21 and we had more fun playing _DDR_ and _Rock Band_ instead of clubbing? Oh well.

PPS. The Montreal thing is the main factor as to why this chapter is so late. I apologize.

* * *

The second he had hit the pillow, Squall was asleep. All thoughts about his plans and his conversations gone. For once, it was dreamless and finally, it wasn't restless. For once, it was a comforting darkness. And at this point, that's all he really needed. His mind finally allowed his body the rest it craved. It was no surprise that he didn't feel the sunlight hit his face or the feeling of the bed sheets being pulled off of him because he had been the one who hadn't been sleeping well over the last couple of days.

And he probably wouldn't have woken up until the afternoon if the blunt object hadn't been stuck into his ear. _–What?! _It must have been the SeeD in him, because in a flash, he was conscious, ready to face the threat.

Squall's body twisted around on the mattress, moving in the direction of where the intrusion would be. The blood rushed to his head and his eyes were a little unfocused from the abrupt awakening, but there was no doubt in his mind that the perpetrator at the side of his bed was Irvine. Smirking.

"What's the story, morning glory? …Beautiful day, ain't it?" The cowboy gave him a wave, wiggling his fingers at him. Even with a sleep-covered mind, Squall figured, with slight irritation, that the object that had been stuck in his ear was a finger. He blinked several times, trying to get the sleep out of his system, that dizzying pulse in his temples, before frowning slightly at Irvine.

"…How old are you again?" Squall asked, annoyed and quite unhappy that he was roused from sleep so suddenly. Of course, he was used to getting up early and staying awake for some time; his schedule had always had a wake-up call at five hundred hours. But that sleep he had just experienced was the first of its kind in weeks. And his schedule never accounted for a large lack thereof, did it?

"That's quite the question to ask this early in the day, don't you think?" Irvine's smirk never left his face. _Besides…someone told me once that if wanna wake someone up right away, mess with their ears…and Rinoa seemed pretty insistent on getting him awake… _"But, just for your information, I'm still nineteen. And technically, not an adult. So, therefore, I will act like a child and you can't do anything about it, Commander status or not."

Squall blinked again, not really hearing him, and turned slightly to get his feet on the floor and his body more upright on the makeshift mattress. His head was still fuzzy with sleep and his words came to him after a moment's pause. "That's no excuse." He took a deep breath and forced himself to be alert because the sunlight reminded him that today was very important. The pause in thoughts that his sleep had given him was ripped away and he felt a weight in his stomach because Yuffie was waiting.

Because he had to go talk to Yuffie. And that was going to be another hard part, wasn't it? And he had promised Rinoa that he would leave first thing in the morning, hadn't he? _…and what time is it now…? _And if he wasn't alert, he would be sloppy and now was no time for more mistakes. _…and no time for more broken promises…_

He stood slowly, stretching out his arms, and looked over at Irvine, who was rocking on the balls of his feet. The taller man wouldn't have known about his promise to Rinoa about leaving early, unless he had heard those words exactly through the open window. The chances of that were slim…_…Unless Rinoa asked him to wake me… _"…Any particular reason why you decided to wake me up this morning, Irvine?"

To that, his grin furthered. "We gotta get firewood. Usually, it's a one man-one woman job…But since _you're_ here, I figured I'd give Rinoa a break and get your ass out there." Irvine stopped his rocking suddenly, a frown coming across his features as he remembered something. "Oh! Almost forgot. Rinoa told me to tell you to take your shirt and jacket off."

Squall stopped for a second, not sure if he heard him correctly. _…wait… _He didn't like being tired and robbed of too much sleep. It made his mind skip and not pay attention and his sense of perception wasn't like it used to be, was it? But he needed to be focused and precise because he couldn't afford to lose Yuffie because she was important to him too. He was SeeD, Hyne-dammit, so why wasn't he acting like one? _…Dammit, wake up already…_ "…Excuse me?"

Irvine shook his head, laughing a little. "Your shirt. And jacket." He pointed to the items that Squall still had on his body and the giant rips and tears in them. "Rinoa wants to sew them up for you. You fell asleep in them and I'm not that kind of guy to undress someone when they're sleeping, you know."

Squall looked at the floor, away from Irvine, as another smile split his friend's face. He wasn't sure what he should say; it wouldn't do much good to chastise him or to laugh along with the joke because frankly, it was his incoherence that got them down this road to begin with… He sighed aloud, rolling his eyes at the way the conversation had ended up. "…Whatever, Irvine." The other man kept laughing as he shrugged out of his leather jacket and handed it over.

"Here's a change in shirt, Squall…" A dark blue tee came his way. "I'll be outside when you're ready." The grin didn't leave Irvine's face, even as he left the room. "Man, I tell you, being nineteen again is pretty damn sweet. I can still get away with stuff like this…"

Squall rolled his eyes again and changed quickly, mind still not up to speed with the present because the looming thoughts of Yuffie were everywhere. As much as he liked the monotonous view, it didn't seem right. Usually, his head was a mess of chatter, planning and calculating and input and output and things like talking to Yuffie were never at the forefront, but hadn't he understood that all of _that _was the wrong way of thinking? …All that pretending and self-blame and worthlessness and avoidance of what he really wanted…?

But if all of _that_ was wrong, why did everything now feel so…off? He knew that he was wrong and he knew that he still had to fix this, so where was his enlightenment? His epiphany? That light at the end of the tunnel that would show him the correct way of how to approach this new insight? Why did he still feel…confused…after every word Rinoa and him shared last night?

He had still made a plan, he had his orders and his purpose and he _knew _what he had to do…so why…did he still feel in such a way that he couldn't define it? He was SeeD, wasn't he? Why couldn't he figure this out…? _…Dammit… _Squall felt his stomach turn a little bit at his inner confusion, at the next step in the plan he had made because that's all he could really think about. He had never been in this type of position before and he had tried very hard to make sure that he would never be but now that he was…he didn't know what to do with himself. _…Stop it. _

All that he did know was that he didn't like being in this position. This unknown place where things couldn't be defined or classified. This void of space and quiet that reminded him of Time Compression but not really because he wasn't dead yet and he wasn't alone this time around. _…they're still waiting on you…_

Clad in the new shirt that was a bit too long on him, he came out of the room to see Irvine leaning up against the doorframe. The ripped shirt was quickly tossed towards the cowboy as he pushed the thoughts aside as much as he could. _…you still have work to do…you have that plan…You can think about that stuff later… _"—Catch."

Smirking in the way he remembered, Irvine caught the shirt and strode over to the table to deposit both items on the chair. He heard commotion coming from nearby as he watched the cowboy move and he wondered where Rinoa was. The main room was empty, save for the two spools of thread and three different needles that were already on the table. _…where…?_

Before he could even let his mind get scrambled and nervous over where she was, Squall made himself calm down. _…she's around here somewhere…Stop it. She's fine. _He didn't like being tired, it messed with his head too much. He couldn't afford to be this jumpy or inquisitive because he needed every fiber in his being to be ready for what was coming next. Because today was important, wasn't it? He could organize and classify everything when all of this was done. He would worry about the state of his mind later. He had to get Yuffie back. He had to talk with Zell and Quistis and stop avoiding them and pretending that they weren't there, which would only happen if he got Yuffie back.

And he had to say…goodbye…to Irvine and Rinoa. Rinoa. And even though he knew it had to happen, because that's what he had planned, Squall couldn't bring himself to look that far ahead because he didn't want to say…it…just yet. _…Focus. Man up. You will do this……you have to… _That was the plan, wasn't it? Wasn't that what he wanted? Wasn't that what she deserved?

"Come on, Squall. This way." Irvine's voice cut through his thoughts and a gloved hand waved him over. Instead of Exeter, a rusted axe was being held in the other hand. His cowboy hat was on top of his head and he was wearing the long coat Squall remembered.

He paused for a second when his eyes fell on the axe, his mind still not up to speed with the times yet. _…Firewood… _Squall remembered what Irvine had said before. _We're going to get firewood… _With the other thoughts looming in his head, he blinked hard, trying to wash them away and the feelings they brought. He could worry about all of _that _later. Right now, he would focus on them and the time he had left. _…because…this is…important too… _"…Should I get Lionheart? To help?"

"Nah, don't ruin that blade. I remember the crap we had to go through to get those Marlboro Tentacles for it…" The taller man stepped out onto the porch for a few seconds before coming back into the main room with another axe and what looked like a hand saw. Holding the axe out to him handle first, Irvine motioned for him to take it. "We got plenty more where this came from."

And while a part of him wanted to tell Irvine that he didn't need the tentacles to create Lionheart, Squall followed him silently out to the forested area near the house, trying to ignore the weight in his stomach. Down the creaky porch steps and through the tall, spongy grass, they moved in silence until they got closer to the trees. "With the two of us, this shouldn't take long." Irvine shrugged, making conversation as they walked. "Ever got firewood from Mother Nature herself, Squall?"

He shook his head as he walked in step with his friend. And since there was no conversation to distract him, Yuffie's tear-streaked face kept coming up behind his eyelids. And that unnamed feeling came back. And his mind started to rattle out all the possibilities that could happen when he went to see her. Because he had done a terrible thing and he had no right to get her forgiveness after what he had done and after all that she had been through because of him…

But Squall squeezed his eyes shut and told that part of him to stay quiet. Yuffie deserved more than his standard way of thinking and talking and being, didn't she? She was…special…in that way. _…no more of that…you're going to fix this… _After everything that she had done for him, she deserved the best he could offer. _…there will be no more pretending that everything's fine…no more of the lies and barriers against yourself that you've kept for this long… She deserves to see you in the way that they get to…Man up. You aren't dead yet. _

Irvine's voice came to him, jostling him out of his mental race. With half a brain, Squall realized that his friend had been talking for some time and that he hadn't been listening that closely, had he? "—Then, just follow my lead, okay?" Irvine used his axe to point to the tree they were going to start cutting on. "We want branches that are thin to medium thickness. Lucky for us, these trees are easy to climb."

He found himself nodding and forced the SeeD part of him to take over for a while. It was a simple enough procedure and Squall was grateful that he didn't have to put much thought into it. It was just enough so that he wouldn't think of anything else for a while; Irvine would pull himself up and over the branches and use the saw to cut the ones they wanted while he would wait until they fell before adding them to the pile that was out in the clearing, next to a bunch of tree stumps.

His mind had finally quieted down as they worked, the occasional breeze through the trees making enough noise to drown out the action of the saw. All previous thoughts were gone as the matter at hand, although simple, required his complete concentration…and that was something familiar to him. And that was good, wasn't it? They took turns and it wasn't long before they had acquired enough wood and cut them all to size by the tree stumps.

After a moment's breath, Irvine hoisted the axe onto his shoulder. "If you thought _that _was fun, this part's even better. Balance that piece over there vertically." Doing so, with his mind completely focused for once, Squall took a step back, knowing what was coming. Counting to three in his head, he watched as Irvine brought the axe down with a cry to slice the wood in half. As rusted as the blade was, the cut was clean, and Irvine smiled up at him. "And that, my friend, is how it's done. Wanna take a _swing_ at it?"

He rolled his eyes at Irvine's pun before setting up his own piece of wood at the stump next to his. It was a simple routine to follow, and soon, he felt his head start to think again. He began to feel that sense of detachment, where he could see the wood split and hear the heavy thuds of the axe and feel his arms begin to ache from the force he had to put into it…but it was as if it was all through someone else's eyes.

Because the next part was going to be hard, wasn't it? And that feeling hadn't gone away, had it?

As he watched everything move around him, Squall's mind forced itself to focus on Irvine, rather than Yuffie's tear-streaked face, and what he had said to him. Because he was important too. And he deserved…everything that he had, didn't he? And he couldn't help but wonder where the seriousness of last night had gone from the taller man as the feeling kept getting worse. He was laid-back again, as he usually was, as he remembered him to be…but…a hand was squeezing his heart when he thought of Selphie and the words he and Irvine had shared. _…but why…can't he get…what he wants…?_

A part of him wanted to confront Irvine, the eyes watching him now instead of where his axe was going, and tell him that he shouldn't pretend. That he should talk about it, or do something about it, because losing someone you love is never easy……but that would make him a hypocrite, wouldn't it? A selfish one too, because it wasn't like he could say that he knew what he was going through. After all of this, it wasn't like he could relate…because he had gotten what he wanted, hadn't he? Because she remembered and nothing could take that away from him now.

A sigh escaped him and his heart nearly exploded at the thought of Rinoa being like Selphie. Or like Quistis. And his blood started to hammer against his temples as the thoughts continued, blinding and fast, and as the feeling got worse and worse and worse. Because what would _he_ have done if he had came all this way…and found Rinoa's eyes vacant? And still with Yuffie hating him? Maybe Irvine's actions would be his, and that would then make him a fraud if he said anything, wouldn't it?

And…what had made him so special that he could get what he wanted? After everything that he had done? Why him? …And how could he even _think _about being happy again when so many others…just couldn't? He couldn't be that selfish or inconsiderate anymore. Why should he get to smile when so many others…didn't even have that choice—?

"—Hey! Squall! Pay attention, man!"

He heard Irvine's voice, but the swing of his axe followed through nonetheless and got wedged into the tree stump with a loud thud. Squall snapped back to reality, all runaway thoughts halted, and noticed that he had failed to put a new piece of wood in position. After a few pulls, and a step back, the axe came free. _…Hyne-dammit…what's wrong with you? Pay attention…_ He shook his head at himself, at his inability to keep his thoughts in check after all of _that_, before looking up to see Irvine with a raised eyebrow.

The cowboy was leaning over, putting his weight on the handle of his axe as it stood upright on the tree stump he had been using. "…Got something on your mind, Leonhart?"

He wanted to lie and tell him it was nothing. He wanted to forget even thinking about that because it wasn't like he could do anything about it now. He wanted to pretend and spend his last few hours with them with a peace of mind but Squall found his lips moving before he could stop it. "…why me?" Irvine stayed in his position, but at least the eyebrow dropped. And the words kept coming, the dead weight in his stomach getting heavier and that feeling seeming to reach its highest point. "…why…could I…get this back…and not you?"

He watched as Irvine slowly brought himself upright with a sigh. "Good question." The cowboy shrugged, letting the axe slip from his gloved hands and onto the ground. _…is that why…you still aren't smiling yet, Squall? _

"After…everything I've done…why me…? …It's not…fair…" Squall continued, eyes looking distant, even though they were staring at the rings in the tree stump. Everything about everyone and anything wasn't fair. _…why…do I get to have this…ending? Why…can't it be shared…? _As he stared at the lines in the tree stump, he thought of Yuffie again…because they reminded him of the crinkles she would get around her lips and eyes when she smiled…and she smiled a lot, didn't she?

Squall squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force that image out of his head, because Yuffie probably wasn't smiling anymore and that, he knew without doubt, was his fault. But the feeling didn't go away, that hand on his heart kept pushing, and he had to wonder if she pretended. If Cid pretended. Because he knew that Cloud and Aerith and Tifa didn't have a clue…and he wondered how alone they must be feeling. Or if they could even began to identify that sensation. Or if they even wanted to. He felt his mouth open, but was unaware of the words. "…what…have I done…to get this? To have this hope…and have it fulfilled? Why me…and not you? Or anyone else…?"

"…So, you'd rather be miserable then?" Irvine took a few more steps towards him, frowning a little bit. _…I'll gladly trade places with you, buddy…_ "You'd rather be…unhappy? Is that it?"

Squall blinked, shaking his head quickly, looking up to see the frown. "No…No, I don't want to be unhappy anymore…I—I'm grateful that Rinoa is…She's…B—But, why can't you…?" Two pairs of blue eyes met, but Squall looked away, not able to look Irvine in the eye. After everything that had happened, it wouldn't be fair if he was happy about all of this…because there were too many lives that might not get happy endings. Sora and Xenmas and all of _that _might not make everything right and why should he be happy when Yuffie was just as deserving? _…even more so…than me……because she went out of her way…to do this…and she…she…can't be hopeful anymore…she can't get what she wants from her friends… _

He felt a hand on his shoulder as that last thought shook him to the core and Squall looked up again to see Irvine, eyes soft. "…It's not fair…" He repeated to him, shaking his head, hating the feeling that he couldn't name. He didn't like _not _knowing. He didn't like uncertainty. He didn't like the unexpected because it made everything difficult and unpredictable and he had to think fast but his sense of perception had been failing him lately, even though he was SeeD, hadn't it? "…And I don't know what to do."

"Come on, Squall. You're Commander Leonhart. You _always _know what to do. That's your job."

"But…this time…I don't…" He felt his fists clench and Squall pursed his lips together. He really hated this feeling. And he couldn't stop the thoughts about Yuffie and what would happen next and what was happening now and what happened then and _why _it worked out for him from continuing in his head. "I don't know what I should feel…or how I should act…or what my next course of action should be because…because why should I be happy…when my friends…all of them…can't be?"

To that, Irvine shrugged and it was some time before the taller man spoke. "I don't know either, man. I don't. But…But Rinoa's here. And she's smiling like I've never seen her. Hell, she's even making breakfast for the two of us…" A tiny smile was lost as the sentence faded. "…and I don't know who else you know and whatever else you've been doing…but…you…you love her, right? You want her to be happy, right?"

Still staring at the rings in the tree stump, counting them, figuring out the age of the tree that was cut down, Squall absorbed Irvine's words slowly and answered with the same speed. He felt his heart hammer at the thought of Rinoa and his previous life where he convinced himself he would never see her or touch her again. And how all of that was crushed to pieces from one overzealous little ninja because…because she wanted him to have something…that she could no longer hope of obtaining… _Yuffie…_ "…Of course. Of course I do…"

Irvine almost didn't hear the whisper but knew his answer. The hand on his shoulder squeezed lightly then patted his back. "…then smile with her. Both of you…I'll bet my gun collection and all my ammo that the two of you are feeling the same way right now. But…you two are allowed to smile with each other. Been through too much not to… Because…well…not everyone in the world can be happy at the same time, Squall…" Irvine pushed back the picture of a grinning Selphie, holding her nunchaku behind her back with one hand and waving with the other, to the corner of his mind. _…one of these days, sweetheart…just wait… _"…some of us…just have to wait a little longer."

Squall let out a sigh, pursing his lips together afterwards into a tight line. _…it's just…not fair…for me to be happy…when all you can do, Irvine, is pretend…and hope…that you can get Selphie back… _"But what if…none of this…goes back to normal? What if everything I've been fighting towards ends up falling short…?"

"…That's why they call it hope, Squall." Irvine mumbled back. "And…And it would suck…a lot…if that kid can't get it done or if he does, it does nothing…but…that's all I can do right now. I'm not a part of that world-changing posse this time around…all I can do is just hope that maybe, we can all just go back…

"…and if we can't……then, at least, I know where she is. And that she's happy again." There was obvious pain in his voice as Irvine continued and Squall couldn't help thinking about Yuffie and Cid with Aerith and Cloud and Tifa again. "…because if she's happy…then…I'll just have to smile with her, even if she doesn't know it. I don't want that to be the case, I really don't…but…if it is…then that's fine, I guess…"

Squall looked over to him, seeing the look in his eyes, and immediately felt guilty for bringing back those feelings again in his friend. The weight in his stomach was still present, but getting smaller, and the hand kept squeezing, but he found his voice soon enough. "I'm sorry, Irvine…I shouldn't have said anything…" He picked up the axe again, the weight of it seeming too heavy. "I didn't…mean to make you…upset…"

A tiny smile came his way. "…Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?" He moved back to his tree stump and was about to grab the next piece of wood when his hand paused. _…don't worry about me too much…you have…a beautiful thing right here in front of you… _Dark blue eyes looked Squall's way. "…You should smile, Squall. Enough for the both of us because what you have is…real. Enough for the ones who don't remember, too, okay…? Can you do that for me?"

His heart pounded in his chest, heavy with grief at the facts he could see now. _…just like…how Yuffie…smiles…all the time…_Squall nodded slowly, eyes back on the grass. He was about to verbally confirm his agreement with Irvine, even though it still felt wrong to him and unfair and selfish and inconsiderate to disregard his pain, all of their pain, for his current situation, when Rinoa's voice called out his name.

"—Squall!" His head snapped her way, seeing her waving her arms from the porch. She was dressed in black shorts and a black T-shirt, the nightgown long gone, and the remains of her blue sleeveless jacket flapping at her sides. And behind her, a dark skinned beauty with long black hair, fixed her soul-searching eyes directly on him.

Pocahontas.

* * *

Someone told her once that hope was sometimes a dangerous thing to have. Because when you put all your eggs in one basket, the disappointment that may come when things don't work out the way you think could be enough to kill you.

And as Tifa washed the shampoo out of her hair, her mind kept going back to that person's quote. It irked her that she couldn't remember who had told her that, but then again, she didn't remember much, now did she? She sighed under the shower's spray, not bothering to let her anger rise because she knew that would be pointless. She couldn't do anything about her memories. She had been through that already.

All she could do was hope that when Sora won, it would come back to her and she would be complete again. All the pieces would fit together and Cloud and Aerith would remember to, and even with the awkwardness, they would all finally be okay.

…_and if it doesn't…then what? _Tifa didn't bother answering that question; she would deal with that disappointment if or when it came. She didn't know what would happen. She couldn't see into the future and there would be no way to prepare for that, would there? Maybe she would cry on Yuffie's shoulder or hug her or something…She sighed again and turned off the water. _You'll get through this…you have to…you're stronger than this, you know…_

She grabbed the towel from outside the glass doors and quickly dried herself off. _…even though…it's a huge possibility…you'll work it out when it comes…_if _it comes…You will. And they'll help you, too. Don't forget that…_

Moving out of the bathroom, Tifa took deep steadying breaths as she proceeded to change into a clean pair of clothes. It would take her some time to get through this, she knew, but she just wished she could fast-forward through this part. _Don't focus too much on the negative…Something good will come out of this. It has too. Because…Because hope is a beautiful thing to have sometimes too. …and memories and people and places can't really vanish into thin air, now can they…?_

Technically, she was still on duty; her full-day shift was not even _close _to be done, but with Cloud out on patrol and Zell watching the cameras and all of her own paperwork done, she sneaked away for a little relaxation. _…besides…it's been a quiet shift…and I didn't even take that long……and I think I was due for my break, anyway… _Tying her hair back into a pony-tail, Tifa did a once-over and smoothed out the wrinkles before stepping out.

She moved back to the Control Room quickly, just in case something did happen and they really needed back up. And for a moment, as she moved through the familiar corridors, it was as if nothing had changed. And everything was like it was. And while Tifa would have liked to slip back into that fantasy, she didn't allow herself. _…no more pretending…Stop it and just get back to work… _She hardened her resolve and forced herself to be calm.

Because she knew that she could do this. She would get through this and they would get through it together…whatever Sora's victory brought. _…because I still have something, don't I? _And as scary as the future could be, they would be strong…together. And Tifa made sure that every part of her being believed in that. _…because hope is a beautiful thing, too…_

The doors swished open upon the entrance of her code and she let out another sigh. All serious thoughts left her head as her eyes took in the room. _…Honestly…he really can't stay in one position long, can he? _With the late morning sunlight streaming in, the twenty flickering blue screens weren't as prominent as they usually were. Instead of being outlined in blue, Zell was outlined in gold, and was currently shadow boxing in front of the computers. "Hey!" Tifa called out to him. "I'm back!"

He spun somewhat gracefully towards her. "Clearly. Took you long enough."

She rolled her eyes at him before making her way to the computers. "Any news?"

From the reflection in the screen, Tifa saw Zell shake his head as she searched for Cloud. "Nope. Nothing. Not even a call-in."

Dark eyes scanned over the many displayed locations in Hollow Bastion until spotting the figure she was looking for. _…Sector 311…Oh, good. He's on schedule… _"You sure, Zell? Did you check for video-audio communication?" She grabbed a nearby clipboard and pencil and scribbled in Cloud's location and the time next to it. _…He's almost done…and no disturbances, either…_

She blinked once before realizing that he hadn't answered her yet. _…Zell? _There was complete silence on his end and Tifa frowned slightly, turning towards him. "…Zell?"

His voice came out small. _…Oh no…that might be important… _"…Video-audio? What the hell is that?"

Tifa straightened up, not sure what she just heard. "What do you mean, 'What the hell is that?' …Didn't Cid tell you?!"

_Oh, crap. It _is _important! _Zell waved his hands defensively. He thought he had been doing so well, and then this had to happen. "No! He didn't! Honest! I don't even know what that is!"

_Dammit, Cid! _She resisted the urge to slap her forehead as the situation fully dawned on her. _Oh…great…they could have been calling in since yesterday and neither he nor Quistis would have known! _Tifa let out a mumble of frustration, trying to find her bearings as she explained it to him. "Video-audio calling is what we use for Gummi Ship communication…"

Blue eyes widened and she was grateful that Zell picked up on the rest of it. "…Yuffie and Squall…"

"…Yup. They could have been calling all night…" She quickly went to the far side of the computers and nearly punched the table at the sight of the flashing red light. _…they _were _calling… _"Dammit, Zell, didn't you see this?!" Tifa pointed at the light before sitting down and setting up the program to see the signal.

"Sorry, okay?!" He came to her side. "Don't forget that Squall and Yuffie are my friends too! I wouldn't have purposely ignored them! And besides, even if I _had _seen the light, how the hell would I know what to do?!"

"You would ask! That's what!" Her hands worked quickly, flipping switches and plugging in the microphone and headphones, and just hoping that they hadn't been waiting long or that there wasn't a major emergency. _Oh, please, please, please! Let everything be okay! …if only I had taken computer duty first… _There was a buzz and some static noise before the red flashing light had turned a solid green.

After watching her set up and seeing a change in the light, Zell tried to ask her a question, nervousness for his friends' safety on every word. "Do you know how long they've been wait—?"

"—See those numbers up there? Seven hundred? Seven hundred thirty? Seven hundred forty five?" Tifa pointed before shaking her head. "They've been calling every fifteen minutes for the past two hours…Oh, please, let everything be okay…"

Zell didn't know what to say or do at this point. He had never thought to check the far side of the computers. _Because no one told me to check there…I didn't know…and now, Yuffie and Squall could be…could be… _He clenched and unclenched his fists as he watched the screen turn from black and white snow to the image of the cockpit of the Gummi Ship he had traveled over here with.

Immediately upon getting visual, Tifa pushed the microphone closer to her mouth. _Everything looks in order… _"Yuffie! Leon! We're here! What is it? Are you okay? What happened?!"

There was movement from the pilot's chair and Tifa called out again. "Yuffie? Is that you? What's wrong?!" Both her and Zell were leaning in and looking around the computer screen for any sign of danger or trouble or worse, when the pilot chair turned around fully to face the screen.

With her legs folded in front of her, head resting on her knees, Yuffie's red and puffy and tired eyes looked up towards their curious-turned-ashen expressions. She watched as their faces fell, knowing that they knew that whatever she had to say wouldn't be good news. "Took you long enough…"

* * *

La la la la la.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Long time coming. I was just having a hard time getting that last bit of Squall-angst out there…and somehow tie in Irvine to make him understand exactly what Yuffie's been going through and all that…I think I succeeded!

I dunno. I always pictured Irvine to be that guy who'd be the first to exclaim, "That's what she said!" to like, any sentence with the hint of sexual innuendo. Hence the reason with the "...take your shirt and jacket off." Say it slowly and I'm sure you'll get it. XD.

Anyway, thanks for your patience. Hope you enjoyed it. That random Tifa in the shower thing...? Yeah, considering that I've done both Cloud and Leon/Squall fanservice (with them changing shirts and wiping the sweat from their brow), I thought I'd be nice to the guys reading this fanfic and give them a little fanservice too. lol. Or going back to the girls. Whatever. And hurrah! It's almost done guys! A few more chapters away!

PLEASE REVIEW!


	28. Chapter Twenty Eight

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!): **Thanks for all support! I'm trying to get my writing speed back so I can decrease the time between updates…Come on, motivation!

* * *

All it took was a blink, and his mind was erased. _Yuffie… _Squall dropped the axe from his hand and ran back towards the house. _…She…She has to… _He didn't hear Irvine call out to him and he just kept moving, keeping his eyes on the stare that Pocahontas was giving him that was familiar.

Because he knew that this had to do with Yuffie.

…_But…she couldn't…have left… _His mind was frantic at the thought of Yuffie fixing the ship and taking off. _…but…she couldn't have…No, please…I have to… _The ground before him seemed to stretch on forever, but he kept moving, because he knew that there was no turning back now. _…I have to fix this…I have to tell her… _His heart pounded and Squall couldn't even hear the sounds of his feet over that noise.

It shouldn't have surprised him but Pocahontas had finally began to move. Rinoa had seemed to sense this and calmly stepped out of her way. She hopped over the uneven ledge on the porch and raced forward, to at least meet him halfway. And that look in her eye never faded. _…you lied, Squall…and you need to act now…to fix it… _The image of his form got closer and closer and Pocahontas saw something in his eyes that was underneath the wall that had been there.

At the same time, the two runners began to slow, but it was Pocahontas who spoke first. "What are you still doing here?" There was a tint of anger in her voice, he noticed, and he immediately knew why.

"—Where's Yuffie?" Squall interrupted, breathing hard as he stopped a few steps in front of her. _She must know…she must know…she wouldn't be here if she didn't… _His mouth went dry at the possible bad news he could receive because he had made himself adamant about fixing all of this, hadn't he? Because she was important. And he wanted that back, too. _…but she has to be here for me to tell her… _His eyes searched the native woman's in hopes of a silent answer, but got nothing.

Her eyebrows knit together. _He cares now?_ Lips pursed, Pocahontas continued."She was crying last night. She cried over you, over what you said…do you know that? Well, obviously not, for you are not where you are supposed to be!"

His teeth clenched and he exhaled slowly through his nose. And he forced himself to swallow down that feeling that he still couldn't really name. The image of a tear-streaked face came to him, her words and his words leaving a stinging pain in his chest as they battled it out between his eardrums, trying to outdo one another in volume. Because she was right. But before his mind could rattle off all the 'maybe he shouldn't have stayed the night' accusations, before it could tear him to pieces again…he stopped it. It was surprisingly quick and quiet and Squall was grateful. Because it was Rinoa and Irvine, the two people she had wanted him to get back and he had made his choice and he still had time. He would do this. Now.

…_Yuffie…please… _"W—Where is she?" He repeated. He had to ignore all of the 'maybes' and 'what ifs' for a second because…because he was here to fix this, wasn't he? And all of that hadn't happened yet. He could still figure this out because he had made her cry, hadn't he? Because he had said words that he hadn't meant and she believed them, hadn't she? And he had to fix all of that.

…_Please…I need to get to her… _His eyes adverted Pocahontas' gaze and he tried to collect himself. Pocahontas was angry with him for doing _that _to Yuffie and he agreed that he deserved that. But he couldn't dwell too long on this, could he? Because this was his shot, wasn't it? This was his chance. This was _it_. And he needed to capitalize, didn't he? _…because…Yuffie deserves that too… _"Pocahontas…please…" Squall tried again after hearing nothing but her silence, voice getting stronger. "Where…Where is she…?"

Looking back at him, Pocahontas lost her frown and her features softened in surprise. _His eyes…they're…open… _She wasn't exactly expecting any change from him; she had been expecting the same, cold, icy stare of no remorse. She had wanted to come here and yell at him for what he said, for hurting her, and hope to convince him that Yuffie deserved his apology and to change him and all the while knowing how hard it would be. But there was that look in his eyes, something that she had found a name for, finally. _…guilt…guilt and…a…determination to change… what he said… _And suddenly, her anger towards the man who had hurt her friend drifted away, as she focused on the tears and the rain behind Squall's eyes.

She blinked first, breaking the stare, coming to an understanding on how difficult this was for him. Because this island…was also something he wanted, wasn't it? Yuffie had told her the story, the whole truth about everything she knew and what she had been doing for him and why she bothered and why they were here and how the second healer was connected to them and the sadness and the darkness and the reason why the Night Guardians were no longer in the sky. _Yuffie…you have given him…something he has always wanted…but you…are also something he wants…_

With the information spinning around in her head, she mustered out a response in a voice that was too quiet for her tastes. She had thought there was going to be an argument, a push and shove to get him back to at least talk to her…but she was glad that there wasn't. Because he was different. This had made him different. Because she had to help him see all of this through. She had to help Squall undo his errors. _…because he knows now…how wrong he has been…and he wants to get that back…even though he loves this woman here… _"…At your bird."

There was another emotion pooling in the steel-blue irises, she noticed. Urgency. "Is she still there?!"

"Yes." Pocahontas nodded, senses somewhat dulled at her revelation. _…Squall…he understands this as well…Finally…the sadness will be gone… _She was snapped out of her daze when the two others inhabitants on this island came to them. Questions were quickly thrown around, breaking the silence, 'Hey! Woah! Squall! You know her?' coming from the man and 'What's happening?' coming from the healer.

He didn't even bother to answer them, his mind nearly reverting back to the calculating method she had been familiar with. While the new emotions were still there, Pocahontas could see his method beginning to plan out something because he still had time. And this was his chance. She watched him turn his face back and forth between his companions, the ones he truly believed he would never find, as he deliberated. The two were still slightly out of breath when Squall spoke again. "We have to go."

"G—Go where?" The man asked.

The healer, however, nodded. _Squall… _Rinoa spoke softly, looking at him almost sadly, heart pounding because she knew what was coming next, didn't she? "…She's waiting…isn't she?"

Pocahontas watched as the healer's eyes dropped at Squall's nod. The other man, the one that she remembered had come to their land on the same ship as John had, was still confused. "Who's waiting?! Guys, come on! Help me out here!"

Steel-blue eyes locked onto the other blue pair with a fierce determination that none of them expected. "We have to go, now. And you're both coming with me." Squall made sure his tone was firm because there was no other option for him. _…you will fix this……and you will show her all her hard work has paid off… _Because she deserved at least that, didn't she? Even if she didn't forgive him, he would give her that. His eyes came back forward, looking back at the dark irises of the native woman. "…And you'll take me there, won't you?"

It wasn't a question of permission, she realized as she gauged his eyes; even if she had the mind to say no, he probably would have taken her canoe anyway. Probably by force, if need be. _…Yuffie…you have succeeded, my young warrior… _"Yes. Come, follow me. Quickly." Pocahontas turned swiftly before breaking out into a run. She didn't have to wait long to hear them following close behind her. Eyes looking over her shoulder, she caught the glimpse of Squall running back into the house to retrieve his weapon, before racing to meet up with them. _…and you will now understand…what he told you was a lie…_

Behind her, holding onto his hat, Irvine kept his pace. "Hey! Come on! What're we doing?" He called out to Squall, in between breaths. _Rinoa seems to know…that native lady does too…what gives? _"Honestly! You had time to get your damn gunblade! Gimme some information!"

Without breaking a step, Squall's voice, in a tone he remembered, came to him. There was something else there, something Irvine couldn't place, but the determination and finality of his statement was familiar. "I have a friend I'd like you to meet."

To Irvine's surprise, it was Rinoa who finished for him. "…And if we don't hurry," she interjected, "we'll miss our chance. So, we gotta move, okay?"

"B—But, what about the house?"

"It'll be fine! Just…keep moving!" She focused on her breathing, first and foremost. Because Rinoa knew if she gave her brain any room to think about anything else, it would end up on _that _and make her start crying. Because even though she had wished for a night, and had gotten it and cherished it, she had wanted more and she didn't know how she would be able to let him go again… _…but he…has to do this…_Her mind concluded solemnly. _…because without her, I never would have gotten that one night, would I?_

The grass moved out of their way as they followed Pocahontas over to the shoreline of the island. They were a few steps behind her and the trio watched her begin to get her canoe ready. Irvine and Squall only took a second's break before going over to help her.

"When did you last see her?" Squall asked Pocahontas, as they both began to untie the knot that held the nose of the canoe to an appropriately positioned stick near the waters.

"Last night. When the moon was showing."

His nerves settled in his stomach. _…but…she could have…_He took a deep breath and steadied his hands so that he could get the knot out faster. _…she has to be there…she has to…Please, Hyne…I don't want to lose her…that is not my fate…it won't be… _"Then how do you know that she's still there?"

"I would have heard otherwise. Did you forget how noisy your bird is?" Pocahontas offered him a gentle smile as they worked. _…finally…I can see it…I can see why she cares so much…_ "…I paddled over here right after I saw her and haven't slept yet. I have been awake since yesterday. I would have heard her."

The thick rope was pulled free and Irvine, with Rinoa at his side, wasted no time in pushing the canoe back out into the water. "Come on!" Rinoa called out to Squall, thankful that everything was moving so fast that she couldn't focus on her thoughts. "Jump in!"

Water splashed as four pairs of feet came into the river, which was still relatively calm since the storm. When Pocahontas and Squall were inside the vessel and it was far enough off shore, Rinoa and Irvine quickly hopped in, careful not to make it rock too much. "Paddles?" The healer asked, knowing that time was ticking, and wanting to keep talking so she wouldn't think about _that_.

"Don't worry, I got it." Squall nodded to her, holding up said instrument. "Pocahontas and I, I mean. Just…hang tight…" There was a pause, a slight hesitation before the wooden canoe paddle cut into the water. It would hurt, he knew, but he had to go back and he knew that. _Oh…Rinoa…please, don't cry…I don't need more tears… _He couldn't look at her in the eye anymore, so he stared at his wobbly reflection in the water. _…Hyne… _He would have thought his mind would have been a mess of words and scenarios and life and death and duty and Rinoa and her and everyone else and the impossible and what would he do with himself if he couldn't have both…? …but it wasn't. It was quiet. And he didn't like this feeling all that much. "We'll…We'll be there soon…"

"O—Okay…" Rinoa nodded back, lip trembling, holding in her pounding heart and gripping the edges of the canoe tightly. _…you're going to leave soon…but…I don't want to say goodbye just yet…_ Her eyes drifted over to Squall's back, watching his movements and knowing, from his quickness, just how important this was to him. How important _she _was. And she wasn't sure why she felt a tickle of jealousy underneath the upcoming grief of losing him, but she pushed it aside. _…but this is about you…and your life, Squall…and seven years is a long time to be doing nothing…_

The water splashed lightly against the four as they moved, covering a lot of ground quickly from the water's stillness. With Pocahontas near the back of the canoe, helping with steering, she looked over to the healer with curiousity. From all the commotion that happened earlier, she had nearly forgotten about the mysterious woman. _…her dark eyes…are full of sadness…_And, upon that conclusion, she knew why. Because if Yuffie forgave him, Squall would be leaving, wouldn't he? It made her own heart hurt to know that someone would not be getting what they wanted from this large reunion…because even if everything here goes to plan, there would always be sadness, wouldn't there? "…Rinoa?"

Dark eyes looked up quickly, seemingly quite happy that she was distracted. "Yes?" The healer hid her previous emotions under another wash of confusion. _How does she know my name…?_

The native woman gave her a small smile between paddling. _…but at the very least…we can share some happiness with you, my sister…to ease your loss…_ "My name is Pocahontas. And my people thank you very much for your help against those creatures."

"Ah, it's not a problem! Easy-peasy for her! Small fry!" The taller man interjected, looking pleased that a conversation was being started. "If you liked that display, you guys should have seen what she did last night. It would have blown you away!"

Rinoa's hand covered her face. She wasn't exactly sure if there was another meaning to his choice of words and when it came to Irvine, she would never know. _…and he better not say anything about Ultima…_ "Oh, gosh, Irvine, stop."

"Hey, hey! No need to be embarrassed when you're so good at it." Irvine smirked and tipped his hat over to the native woman who had just introduced herself. "And now that we're making introductions, I'm Irvine Kinneas and I don't think we've met before…"

Pocahontas gave him a wary smile. "No, we haven't. But I've seen you before. You came on a ship…with Captain John Smith, did you not? …I had assumed that you had left with them, but…apparently not it seems."

The taller man grinned again. "Nope. No m'am. I stuck around…Got bored and took the canoe over, met up with Rinoa over there and then she sent it back. This is a pretty sweet little place you got here, Pocahontas…"

Squall, seated near the front of the canoe, turned his head back to the other three as the words were being exchanged. He was the farthest away from the group and this time…he didn't want to feel detached. He was tired of that feeling too. Everything was moving so fast and he just wanted this part to last a little longer. _Because I still want this, too…I've always wanted this back_…He gripped his paddle more tightly than the usual before asking his question. "Irvine…how'd you know that she was there?"

The cowboy turned to him and grinned. "Same way you knew, boss-man. I got a feeling."

A short smile was shared before Squall turned back to face the upcoming shore. His heart was pounding and he couldn't remember the last time he felt this nervous. But he had to do this. He had to tell Yuffie everything and…and…go back to Hollow Bastion and finish what he started because all of that was important. Because it _might_ work. And it _might_ bring everything back.

And while he didn't always believe in fairy-tales' happy endings, at least this was a shot at one.

…_and at least…I know where I can find them… _Squall's peripherals focused to Rinoa's form. Her body was tense and he could tell that she wasn't exactly ecstatic about all of this. And he really couldn't blame her, could he? Because he was going to have to leave them for Hyne knows how long and go back where he came from and it wasn't like he could ask her or Irvine to come with him because they couldn't leave the Powhatans because these people needed them. All he could do was hope for a break from his work again to come visit…and Hyne knows how unlikely that would be because the Heartless don't wait. They don't care for stories like these. _…but it has to be done……and I'll make the time, dammit…_

"Squall! Prepare to dock!" Pocahontas' voice sounded over the water. "Paddle faster! The water's speed is picking up again!"

The grassy shore got closer and Irvine hopped out of the canoe first to help it along. Squall was next, wasting no time in pulling the nose of the canoe forward and onto the earth. _…Yuffie… _His thoughts were already becoming frantic and his heart hadn't stopped pounding fiercely against his ribcage. He tried to take in a deep calming breath, tried to keep his thoughts in order because this was _not _the time to be sloppy and clumsy, but failed as Pocahontas grabbed his arm.

"We have to move. Now." Her eyes were serious and she motioned him to drop the rope that was attached to the nose of the canoe. "Forget about tying up. Let's go." Squall was not aware of how much time had passed before he felt his feet move again. He swallowed thickly as they moved through the forests, recognizing rocks and tree formations as they passed and got closer and closer to the campgrounds even though he couldn't really see them.

Because all the while, as they moved, his mind was another mess. Because he had no idea what he was going to say to her. How could he even begin? What would she say? Pocahontas told him that she had been crying, so it wasn't going to be good. Would she even want to hear it? It had been quick thinking and action that got them off the island and amidst all that blur, he hadn't thought about _this _part of the plan.

Because this was going to be another hard part, wasn't it?

"Where are we going?!" Irvine shouted from the back. "Who's this person we gotta meet? And why are we running so fast?!"

"This way." Pocahontas ignored the taller man's outcry and took a sharp right, wanting to keep being hidden under the foliage and avoid going through the campgrounds. _…too many questions…and no one's supposed to know… _Just thinking about the possibility of having to explain the presence of the healer and the mysteries around her and them was enough to give her a headache. _…and this is about Yuffie…_

Pulling back the last few branches, the four runners came to the clearing that the Gummi Ship had made for itself. They slowed down and Squall was sure that he was going to explode under the giant, ominous shadow of the ship. Irvine had made a comment on it, but he didn't hear it. _…she's here…she's right in there…you have to do this. …Don't over-think…just go._

He took deep breaths from his mouth, staring up at the giant machine, but couldn't get his legs to move. _…just go! She's waiting! Staying out here doesn't change any of that… _Squall clenched his fists and then relaxed them. _You…have to do this. And you can. Just…go…_His eyes drifted shut, his mind going blank, and even though he wanted a script, a plan on what to say to her because he wasn't a specialist in matters like these, he knew that she needed more than that. _…Yuffie…_

He swallowed the lump in his throat and felt his leg twitch forward. It was then, after that first, hesitant step, when he felt a smaller hand encircle the tips of his fingers. Squall's head snapped to his right, first focusing on the pale, slender fingers before moving his eyes to hers. _…Rinoa…_

"Squall…" She offered him a smile, something beautiful and brilliant to him, before squeezing his hand. "…She's...She's special, isn't she?"

Mutely, he nodded, unable to form the words to exactly describe her. But that seemed just about right. "…then, you have to go in there. And make sure she knows that…" Rinoa continued, holding back that looming sadness. Her mind was screaming at her to make him stay, to hold onto him forever…but she couldn't listen to that part. _…because she's a big part of your life now…all those people are……and I won't make you choose…because you can have both, Squall… _"Okay?"

He swallowed again, feeling light-headed from staring into her dark eyes. Nodding, his voice finally came to him. "T—Then, you're coming with me." There was slight surprise in her eyes and Squall continued quickly. "Because I—I want you to meet her…" Turning quickly to Irvine, he nodded to the cowboy, "And you too, Kinneas…You're coming too."

It looked like Irvine was going to snap out a witty remark, but he remained silent and nodded back. "Now, right?" He asked instead.

Squall nodded and brought his eyes back to the ship. _Go._ "Yes. Now."

It felt like the longest stretch of land he had ever crossed, but with Rinoa's hand on his and Irvine flanking his other side, he kept moving. Through his doubt and fear, he kept moving, squeezing back and keeping his silence, nearly gritting his teeth because he knew it was going to be hard. But he would do this. Because Yuffie deserved it. And he wanted it back. _Don't over-think…just…go…_

* * *

"Oh, sure…" Yuffie rolled her eyes to no one in particular as she lugged the heavy toolkit out of the storage room with both hands. It thumped loudly against her thigh as it came off the shelf. "Check the thermal rotary piston! It's just _so _obvious!" She hadn't said much to the Hollow Bastion crew upon their questions about Squall, but they had answered hers quickly. _…I just want to fix that damn engine and get out of here…_

She was grateful for their help and for keeping in their curiousity. Especially Zell. She would have thought, for sure, that he would not be able to keep it in. _…because Squall's a part of him……and obviously, not a part of us anymore… _Yuffie frowned at the stairs in front of her before sighing. She hoisted the toolkit higher on her thigh and walked up the stairs very slowly. _…and someone else can come get him…because I'm not going to bother…_

Her muscles strained as Yuffie made it over the last step, but she refused to put the toolkit down. Waddling to her right, she inched her way towards the exit door. _They can ask me all the questions they want when I get back…I'll just give them this Navigation Block and tell one of them to convince him to come back… _She forced herself not to get upset again over him because she was done crying. It had been almost thirty-six hours and he hadn't come back for her and she couldn't wait on her shooting star wish forever.

_If he wanted to come back home with me…he would have come back by now… _Her head repeated the idea, stopping any attachment and 'what ifs' from forming. _It's obvious that he'd rather be…here…so who am I to bother? …I'm just little ninja Yuffie who can't tell a broken fan blade from a malfunctioning engine compressor, anyway… _Because she was done with this. She was. And she didn't need him, right? He had gotten what he wanted and he was probably very, _very _happy right now and he probably wouldn't want someone like _her _to intrude on that…even if he didn't mean all those nasty words. Besides, she had to get home soon because she still had work to do with Sora and the Restoration Committee and she couldn't waste any more time—

The toolkit slammed against the tiles as it slipped from her hands. "—AH!" Yuffie cried out in surprise from the loud bang and hopped back a step. Opening on contact, tools and other hardware were strewn across the floor in front of her and all the items had just narrowly missed the tip of her toes. Once the initial shock wore off, she nearly cursed aloud. _I don't have time for this!! I have to get home and leave all this behind!_

Huffing, she dropped to the ground and began piling all the tools back into the box. _Stupid lock. Stupid heavy kit. _"If it wasn't for that damn rotary piston, I wouldn't have had to haul you out!" Yuffie shouted to the inanimate objects on the floor, before throwing them haphazardly back into the kit. She was frustrated and angry, but as much as she tired to ignore the real reason, she knew it wasn't about the tools. Or the broken ship. _Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!_

Amidst her loud banging and clanging and cursing, which was helping her not think about anything or anyone or him, she heard something. Everything was dropped and she froze. _…was that…?_ Her eyes widened as the reason for that hydraulic hissing noise popped into her head. _…the door…? _

She wanted to race up and meet whoever had entered, wanted to grab onto her shuriken just in case, but her legs and arms were not moving. Yuffie was frozen, kneeling on the floor behind the toolkit that had fallen forward. _…the…the door…? _And even when she heard footsteps, three pairs of footsteps, coming towards her and getting louder and louder, she _still _couldn't move. _…come on! Up! Get up!_

Her heart was pounding as she finally shot upwards. Instincts coming into play, Yuffie put one hand on her shuriken and steadied her breathing. Lips pursing together and mind numb, she took a step forward, moving over the toolkit and tools as quickly and quietly as possible. Two pairs of footsteps had stopped during her bout of movement, she noticed, and she switched her focus over to the last pair of feet that were getting closer.

A shadow splayed across the wall in front of her, distorted and stretched out from the angle of the corner she was adjacent to. Her heartbeat was loud, but she could hear the sounds coming from the moving intruder were getting closer and closer and more and more familiar but she couldn't place it yet because she was tired and upset and didn't even want to think of _that _being a possibility because she didn't want that hope anymore because—

And then, her heart stopped again. Her grip went slack on her weapon. Her feet stopped in their tracks. And her vision nearly blurred out the image of his stupid _jerk_ face and his stupid _ugly_ scar and that strange _look _in his eyes… _…Squall…?_

"Yuffie." His voice shattered through the silence and broke her daze. They stared at one another, wide-eyed and surprised and she watched him try to find his words. "Yuffie, I—" She could feel her mouth drop slightly, her heart hammering against her ribcage, her body breaking out into goose-bumps, not even believing what she was seeing or hearing or facing…and suddenly, all the anger that she thought she had cried away had come back. Tenfold. A million-fold. All the tears and frustration and that sleepless night came back to her. And the grip on her shuriken hardened again. And her eyebrows knit into a frown.

"—YOU_ JACKASS!_" Yuffie didn't let him finish his thought or give him any time to say anything before her finely-tipped weapon was flung in his general direction.

* * *

=D Well, this is probably one of the fastest chapters I've ever written…10 whole days! Mind you, I had a serious rewrite at the beginning there…And to mean, it seems longer than the others...but the word count says otherwise...It's one of my shorter ones...

Anyway, hope you liked it. I think I got the feeling that I wanted from this chapter. And go Yuffie! You can do it! Kick his butt! PS. Don't worry, she won't kill him.

PPS. Ugh. I just lost a very good copy of this chapter... X___X Damn, I hope I can rewrite those parts...

PLEASE REVIEW!

(because those that do get a gold star!)


	29. Chapter Twenty Nine

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!): THANK YOU! **I kept that part in bold to make sure I drive the point home: You guys are awesome. And you make me smile. =D Yay! Gold stars all around!

PS. I'm totally going to SPAIN today! (Friday Aug 21st)!! =D weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Be back in ten days.

* * *

Since Squall was expecting an angry reaction from her, he wasn't entirely surprised when Yuffie crouched low and whipped her shuriken off her back and towards him. _—Shit. _Still, it took him a second to register these events in his head and it was probably his SeeD instinct that controlled his arms to protect himself. Lionheart was drawn quickly from his side and, with acute eyes, hit the spot between spikes on the throwing star as it came closer.

The shuriken impacted with the clang of metal on metal and was deterred of its original destination; instead, it practically bounced off the steel walls of the ship and landed back on the floor, away from doing any harm. Squall's eyes watched at it fell, thankful that it hadn't ricocheted to Irvine and Rinoa's positions. He was about to tell them not to move, not to get involved in this part yet, but he heard Yuffie move and his eyes shot forward.

_You—! You—! You horrible, miserable, inconsiderate, jackass! _Yuffie was pretty sure she was seeing red as her legs carried her towards him. She wasn't sure if she ever had this strong of an urge to do bodily harm to another human being, but her mind was too wired on spitting out as many curses as it could to care. _How could he—?! And then just show up like this—?! _Finally, her mouth began to move. "I'M GOING TO _KILL _YOU, SQUALL LEONHART!"

Yuffie wasn't aware of it, but she had picked up a fallen wrench on her travels and was ready to use it to her advantage. _You—! You—! _Her mind couldn't even make the words anymore. Her heart kept hammering and her teeth were clenched together as the last thirty-six hours replayed in her head over and over and over again. She didn't even bother thinking about the other sets of footsteps because she had probably imagined it because she hadn't been sleeping and they didn't matter as long as she could inflict pain on _him_.

He took a step towards her charging form, outstretching his hand. "Yuffie. Wait." Squall's calm and stern voice fell on deaf ears and seemed to enrage her further.

"DO _NOT _TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" She took a swing at him with the wrench, but he dodged easily, moving to her left and towards her. "YOU—! YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT!"

"Yuffie." He tried again, moving his body to avoid her attacks. "Stop. Please." Lionheart had been placed back into its sheath to free up both of his hands in the effort to grab the wrench away from her and protect his face and neck. He had to get her to listen. He had to say it. Because he didn't want any more people to hate him. And he was here to fix it…even if his mind was numb and quiet and couldn't think that far ahead.

Because this was going to hurt, wasn't it?

"I'll stop when I feel like it!!" Came her response, followed by repeated hits on his forearm from her fury. Everything was a giant blur and she wasn't even sure this was happening. "And stop moving so I can hit you where it'll hurt!"

"Yuffie…" Squall repeated, feeling the heavy stings of the metal and trying to keep his body in motion. He kept his body turned, slightly crouched, so that only his left side would face her; minimal damage and minimal effort for this battle, even though he figured that he probably deserved most of it. "Stop. Please."

"NO! I WON'T!" There was a tone in her voice, sadness mixed in with anger and fear and revenge, which he couldn't ignore. He never would have thought to hear it coming from her, but there it was. _…because…I made her cry… _Squall's heart squeezed at that thought, at that hurt that he had caused her…because she had done so much for him…put up with his attitude and his issues and all of _that_…and he went off and said the worse possible thing to her, disregarding all their time together in a couple of sentences. …But it made his determination peak, because he was here to fix all of that. And even if it didn't work, it was his shot. He wouldn't back down now.

He focused, watching her, not saying a word as she continued to shout obscenities at him, as she continued to strike his arm. He had fought against her before, for practice, for skills, but never when she was angry. This angry, anyway. _Focus…focus…_Finally, while dodging and step-siding most of her moves, he noticed her pattern of attacks. _Swing…swing…Go._

And Squall reflexively grabbed onto her wrist before the wrench could come down on her third attempt in that sequence. What he lacked in her speed, he made up for in strength and while he could have easily disarmed her at that moment, he simply held onto her, letting her arm twitch as it tried to push past his resistance.

"H—HEY!" She shouted at him, previous words promising harm being cut off, as her arm kept trying. Her cheeks were puffing and pink and her mind was throwing around new names and possible dismemberment plans and ways to get out of this so that she could follow through. _Because he deserves it! He does! I won't let you hurt me anymore! _"Let me go! I'm not done with you!!"

"Yuffie. Stop." He locked eyes with her, pursing his lips together. Her cheeks were flushed from exertion, frustration and something else and he could tell that she had been crying earlier because her eyes were still red but before his heart could make him release his grip at her pain, he tightened it. "I need to talk to you. Drop it."

"Let go." Yuffie's eyebrows knit together, ignoring his request, arm still struggling against his, pulling and shaking, still wanting to crack his skull open. _I don't want to hear you! The last time you talked to me—! _And while her mind was seething in anger, she surprised herself with a calm voice. "Let. Go. Now."

"No." Squall frowned slightly at her stubbornness and quickly jabbed his thumb to a pressure point in her wrist. With a shocked gasp, her hand sprung open and the wrench fell to the ground with another clang of metal on metal. But before he could say another word to her, before he could get his eyes back to hers, Yuffie didn't allow him to. With one hand held, her next weapon hit him on the underside of his mandible: her foot.

The blow was unexpected to say the least and he felt his grip slacken on her wrist as he stumbled back slightly. In that small loss of the upper hand, Squall felt Yuffie's fist against his cheek next.

"I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU!" She shouted, energy renewed, voice nearly echoing because all she could hear were his previous words. Her fist came down again, almost missing his cheek because she was practically fighting blind, but it connected nonetheless. Yuffie knew that her hand-to-hand combat was nothing like Tifa's and probably wasn't even hurting someone like _him_, but she continued anyway. Because it wasn't about the logic. She just wanted to inflict harm, no matter how miniscule it was to _him_. She needed to get it all out. _…Because the butthead deserves it, dammit! He deserves this! And he's too stupid to realize that he deserved _that _too! Stupid! Stupid, Squall!! You never listen to me!!_

"Yuffie." His teeth ground together and he didn't move for two move of her stinging blows. He was surprised at how thin his patience was getting at this point; he was usually able to hold out much longer against her. _…I guess…just not like this…_Squall watched her face as she moved, almost seeing how each punch to his face punctuated a thought in her head. A pure, angry thought. About him. "Stop it. Now." He tried again, voice stern, wishing her stubbornness would go away but knowing just how justified it was.

"NO!" Her arm kept moving, even though he was starting to block them. Her eyes were starting to sting with tears. Because why should she listen? Why should she bother with the hope anymore? No one else seemed to want it or need it, so why should she hope that he figured it out? Why should she bother caring? He had gotten what he wanted, hadn't he? And while it made her angry that he gave her no credit or praise, it didn't matter anymore, did it? Because, her mind dripped with bitterness, he was happy now, wasn't he? So why should he care about her?! "AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME, YOU SON OF A—!"

"—Enough." The words were barely out of his mouth before Squall acted. Yuffie's fist was about to connect again, ready to add to the red blotch on his cheek, but it was grabbed at the wrist and held steady. Before she could even bring her other fist close enough to his face, before she could squeak out another curse as it landed, he grabbed that arm as well at the wrist, and held her two shaking arms one of his arm's length away.

"—HEY!" Yuffie struggled against his grip and was about to start kicking him when Squall's hands moved from her wrists to her forearms quickly. She didn't even see it happen, it was seamless, and she could barely formulate her next thoughts when she felt his grip move and hold her arms straight against her torso. _Dammit! Stupid! Stupid! You jerkface!! _It was a tight hold and she couldn't move her arms towards him or reach him with her fingers since he sandwiched them nicely against her sides. Slowly, he began to lift her to his eye-level. "HEY! HEY! LET GO!"

"No." Squall finally took a deep breath. He knew she was going to start kicking soon, because he could tell that she definitely wasn't done yet, and he didn't have to wait long before her sneaker clad feet connected to his chest. Squall held out easily against the soft blows against his ribs and abdomen; he was just relieved that she hadn't started kicking until he had risen her feet above his belt. "Yuffie. Please…"

She ignored the softness in his voice. "PUT ME DOWN! THIS INSTANT!" Yuffie kept up her kicks, eventually folding forward a little and bending her knees and stomping on his chest with the bottom of her shoes. Her strength was fading and so were the frequency of her kicks and she knew she wouldn't be able to last long in this position, but she kept kicking with everything she had left. Because she didn't want the hope anymore, right? "I won't stand for this! PUT ME DOWN!"

Squall sighed. He knew she was going to be difficult. And he knew why. And he knew that he definitely deserved this treatment. But this had to stop because he had to make sure she was listening. He had to tell her because he wanted to get it back. Their friendship…because, he supposed, it took losing it for him to realize just how important it was to him. _…and she has to know that…Yuffie has to know my lies…_He waited through a few more of her stomps before suddenly pulling his arms towards his body, effectively squishing her legs in a folded position between their torsos.

"—HEY! THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Yuffie shouted and tried to wiggle free. Every time her feet would have a slight slip against him, he would simply tighten his hold and squish her further. Her hands were clenched into fists at her sides, unusable, and she could feel her energy begin to dip. But she had to keep hitting him. She wasn't done. Her mind was an angry blank, red and flashing, because of him. She was still _so _angry with him and what he said even though his presence here seemed to contradict that.

But she wouldn't believe it. No, she wouldn't, because her anger wouldn't let her. Because shooting star wishes don't come true. "NO! NO! LET ME GO, NOW!"

She was about to continue, screaming and struggling and trying in vain to knock him to the ground because her mind pressed that there was no way he was here to apologize, but Yuffie made the mistake of looking him in the face. Her body froze at the way he was looking at her, a stare that was familiar but different. It reminded her of his poker-face, a face that she now despised…but it was different. "—Yuffie." And there was a chill to his words, a tone in his statement that told the revived logical part of her brain that if she didn't stop it _right now_, he was going to throw her across the room.

Or something to that extent.

He stared at her, searching her fuming eyes, making sure that she wasn't going to start up again before exhaling the breath he had been holding. _Finally… _The aggression that was there previously had started to dim."Yuffie," Squall started again, his voice softer and calmer and he felt his patience returning to him, "I have to talk to you."

She remained still and stiff in his hold, looking up at him expectantly. He could tell that she was holding herself back because her lips were trembling and it appeared that the situation had finally dawned on her because it looked like she was about to start crying again. He wanted to avert his eyes and look away because of the pain there, but he held his gaze to hers. He would not back down from his errors now. _…Yuffie… _His mind was still blank, with no plan or backup words to make it all better, but as he stared at her face, the words came after a long pause. And that was a familiar feeling. "I'm…I'm sorry."

The words hit her hard and she sputtered, eyes blinking and mouth simply opening and closing without words for a few long seconds. "Y—You're sorry? You're _sorry_?!" Her pitch went higher and even though she thought she had finished crying over all of this, she felt tears trail down her cheeks. Yuffie began to move against his grip, not believing him and not allowing that tiny part of her to relish in the hope that it was truth. "NO! No, you're not! You meant every word you said and I _hate _you for it!"

Her eyes were squeezed shut at this point, trying to stop the tears, and Squall's own lips began to shake slightly. "Yuffie…Please, I…" His mind scrambled at the sight of her face to put words together, somewhat foolishly believing that those two words would make everything okay again and that it wouldn't need any others. "…No. W—What I said…That wasn't…I didn't mean any of it!"

"No! You did! You did and you left me alone and I spent the whole night trying to fix this dumb ship to leave but it was hard to see what I was doing because I was crying so much because you weren't going to come back and you never liked me and I hated you, you big, stupid, jerk-face!" She spoke so quickly, volume rising, trying to hide certain words because she didn't want _him _to know that she had been crying, that Squall nearly missed it all.

"I'm sorry." He repeated, heart squeezing painfully in his chest, searching her tear-filled eyes for some sort of understanding. "Please…I didn't mean what I said. It was a mistake…I'm sorry…" The words kept coming, saying almost the same thing over and over and over again as Yuffie began to sob and shake and cry in his hold. He moved his head down, going to her eye-level even though she looked away. He bit in the inside of his cheek and tried to ignore her cries and that feeling that he couldn't name. "…I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for what I did to you…"

Yuffie had finally stopped struggling in his hold, getting calmer or just giving up and he sensed this. Gently, he loosened his grip, pulling her away from his torso and placing her down onto the floor. She hadn't seemed to notice this, however, because her body was still tense, as if he was still holding her and her sobs hadn't broken yet. "N—No…you're not…You can't be…"

He looked at her and spoke softly, not wanting to send her into another rage. "What do you mean, 'I can't be sorry'?"

"Because you can't!" She snapped, fists forming and shaking. "Because you don't care about me or what I do or where I'll go! Because you have _her _now and that's all that matters to you!! Because I was just the convenience, wasn't I?! Because I don't mean anything to you because what I do for you doesn't matter!"

"No, Yuffie…No, that's not true. You're important to me. You don't mean nothing to me…"

"No! NO! Stop lying!" Yuffie shook her head from left to right, not believing him. She didn't want to. She couldn't. Because she was done with caring, wasn't she? And she didn't want to be more hurt than she already was. "Please! Stop lying!"

Squall swallowed the lump in his throat, not being able to stop the words that came next, because they were truth and for once, he could say them out loud, couldn't he? "I didn't mean what I said to you…that is truth, Yuffie. Believe me, please."

She sniffed and looked up at him, heart pulling both ways. Her voice was quiet, fresh tears falling as she contemplated his tone and his face. It looked like he was telling the truth, but he lied so well, didn't he? "…then why would you say that? Why would you say that to me?"

He took in a breath and felt all the words hit him at once. The universe seemed to stop and Squall was barely aware that they were in the Gummi Ship. That any of _that _had even happened. The light at the end of the tunnel. "I…I—I have spent the last seven years…pretending they were all dead…every single one of them…believing it, making it real so that I wouldn't have to deal with all of that. So that I wouldn't have to think about what happened and why they weren't here now and my role in all of it…I didn't want to think about it because I had tried and I had failed those times when I went out looking.

"So I had tried to ignore it. Forget it. Forget those last few hours of my life before I woke up. I pretended that I was okay because I didn't want to deal with that loss because it was too much and I didn't want to be weak anymore…and even though you were there…I was…I thought that I was still alone…because I never saw the similarities…but I do now and I wish I had seen them sooner but…but…" He paused, watching her slowly relax her fists. He slowly lowered himself, crouching down on one knee to get to her eye-level.

"Yuffie…I said those things because…I was…a—afraid…of what might happen…when all my lies to myself fell apart. Because…Because all of that…became part of my routine. My schedule. My _life_. …and I was afraid…because if those lies fell apart……I didn't want to lose what I had gained. Not again. So I just wanted it to stay the same…even with the lies I told myself…

"And then…" Squall stopped again, eyes locking with hers, and he gave her a small, thankful smile with sad eyes. "…and then you found them. And everything changed. And I was contradicted. I had been wrong. I had never allowed myself that hope because I didn't want to keep being disappointed but you found them…and I didn't know what to do. I had my guilt and my failure and my shame all the time and then, it was just, all of that, laughing at me because I had been wrong…

"I couldn't see it then, when you brought Zell and Quistis to me…all your work and what you stood for because I couldn't stop focusing on that part of me. I was selfish. I was wrong. Inconsiderate. Everything you've said because you didn't deserve those words……and I'm sorry…for putting you through that."

There was a pause, a silence, and Squall realized that Yuffie had stopped crying. She was looking at him, hopeful but uncertain, trying to gauge his eyes for something so he made sure that they were clear. So that she could see into him and believe him. Because his mouth had stopped moving, his brain still not working, and he had no more words left. _Please…Hyne…may my sins be forgiven…_

Her lips trembled as she digested his words, her eyes darting back and forth over his face. "S—Squall…" Her voice was still quiet and the way that she had said his _name _just then, reminded him of the way she said it when he had said those words to her. Yuffie sighed, looking away from him and back at the toolkit on the floor. "I don't…know…what to say…"

There was a hesitation that Yuffie saw in her peripherals as Squall's hand made a move to her shoulder. It stopped short, however, and returned to his side. "Yuffie…I'm sorry. I'm very sorry and I wish I could take it back but I can't. I don't want our friendship to end over that…Because it's important to me. And I want…you to know that…"

She sighed, body conflicted, shaking her head. "I don't…know…what to say, Squall…" Yuffie repeated, nerves settling in her stomach, not liking the silence one bit because it didn't distract her enough from the war going on in her skull. There was a tug of war, believing him or hating him forever, but finally, her reason came back, forceful and strong because she didn't want to listen to the angry, illogical part anymore. Because she didn't want to lose another friend, did she? And forever was a long time, wasn't it? To be angry at someone...who didn't mean it, right? _…and why would he come back…here…to lie? …when he could just as easily stayed away…? _

"…That's a first…you not knowing what to say..." There was a change in the air around them and Yuffie's head looked up at Squall. He was giving her a tiny smile, which disappeared and reappeared and twitched into place because she could tell that he wasn't sure if that was the right thing to say at this moment. She frowned slightly and it took her a while to understand what the new words meant.

"…Was…that a joke?" She asked carefully, not being able to stop the tiny smile that came to her lips. _…there would be no point in coming back here…just to lie…and Squall is never without purpose… _They both had tiny smiles and Yuffie even found herself letting go of a tiny chuckle.

"Well, look-ee here. Commander's got a sense of humour now." Both of their heads turned towards the sound of the voice. Squall nearly paled at the voice, not comfortable with the fact that they had heard him, but he quietly pushed the feeling away. Back from the corner where he had come now stood a tall man, leaning against the wall with his arms folded, with a cowboy hat and a long trench coat and a smirk. Behind him, was a woman, in black and blue, holding a hand to her face to suppress a tiny chuckle.

Yuffie looked back between the two new arrivals and Squall several times, eyes wide open. Her mind immediately stopped and she felt dizzy. _…there's…there's… _"T—Two of them?" Her hair kept swishing back and forth as she tried to believe what was happening. Squall had come back. He apologized, something she still couldn't believe. And he brought with him the very thing she was trying to get for him so that he could get through all that stuff that he had been keeping in for seven years and—

"—Yuffie…" Squall stood, breaking her thoughts and vision. With a hand outstretched and pointing towards the man with the hat first, he said, "I'd like you to meet Irvine Kinneas." And slowly, a smile coming back to his face, he pointed to the woman who Yuffie already figured out. "…and Rinoa Heartilly." Looking back at his friends, his hand waved in the ninja's direction. "Irvine, Rinoa…this is Yuffie Kisaragi."

All three seemed to say variations of 'hello' at the same time. Yuffie kept blinking, not believing, not understanding exactly what was happening. She stayed silent, the awkwardness of meeting strangers and from her previous intent on killing _him_, keeping her mouth shut. However, it was Irvine who decided to get the formalities out of the way.

"Hyne, Squall…" He pushed himself off the wall he was leaning on with his foot. "You didn't tell me your friend was that cute." Irvine smirked again at Yuffie's blush and swaggered over to her. She remained still, eyes growing wider, not sure if this was all just a weird, creepy dream, and barely felt it when Irvine took her limp hand in his and kissed her knuckle. "It's a pleasure to meet you, m'lady. Squall's got quite the story about you and what you've been doing."

"Irvine." Squall gave him a dead stare, not sure if he should be allowing that kind of behaviour at this point. _…Hyne… _The tension that had been present when Yuffie had every intention of killing him was ebbing away and the weight in his stomach was lessening. His heart was still pounding and his ears were ringing but this time, he was sure it was because someone was thinking about him. Because he had said it, hadn't he? Irvine chuckled to himself before standing and letting go of her hand.

"Just being polite, you know. No other intentions."

"I'm sure…" Rinoa rolled her eyes at his statement as she walked over to where the other three were standing. She came in front of Yuffie, smiling at little bit, trying to ease the conversation. "Sorry about that. My friend here forgot to take his medicine this morning."

"It's…It's okay." Yuffie managed to squeak out, blinking slowly at her. She realized after a few seconds that her mouth had dropped open and it took her another second to correct that. _Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. It's…There were…two of them……all this time…Squall got two of them! He has two more! _She felt her nerves build and something else began to grow but she wasn't sure what that one was. Everything was just too fast now and she still wasn't sure if she should be mad at him or not because her plan had worked hadn't it? Even with the big argument in the middle of it? Because he had brought them to her and that meant something, right? "S—Sorry…I just…I…Oh, wow…"

"She's usually much more talkative than this." Squall finished for her.

A shaky smile came across her face, followed by nervous laughter. "Yeah…Yeah, I am…Sometimes, he's the one who has to tell me to shut up!"

Rinoa smiled, happiness fluttering in her chest. _So…she's the woman…who brought him back…_ "Well…I for one would love to hear some stories from you. We can trade some, if you like."

"Yeah," Irvine continued with a wave of his hand, "I for one would like to hear the ones that we can blackmail him with. I'll trade you all my embarrassing ones of him for those."

Squall sighed, looking around the room at anything but their faces. He didn't want to be around for the following conversation. But it had made Yuffie smile again. And she was laughing a little, amidst a few more sobs. And he took a deep breath because it seemed that the universe had given him his chance back. And he supposed that he had earned that right, hadn't he? "…I'll be outside, then."

"Oh, no you don't." Rinoa came up beside him in a blink, holding onto his hand. "You're going to sit there through all of it and take it like a man."

And while Yuffie was having a hard time controlling her giggles, Squall raised his eyebrow at Rinoa. He didn't like being under the spotlight. He never did. And even though his role as leader and Commander made him, he avoided it as much as he could. And this would be no exception. "Could we not?"

"But Squall…" She pouted at him a little. "You're the one thing we have in common. It's only natural that we talk about you, isn't it?"

"Yeah, Squall…" Irvine made a pouting face as well, much to the delight of Yuffie. _No one…can resist the face…_ "It's only natural that we talk shit about you. I mean, your pal here went through all that to get us here…I think we owe her some hilarious outtakes from your life, don't you?"

He sighed again, and waited for Yuffie to look up at him. An excuse came to him as she hid her mouth behind her hands. Her hands that held the wrench a few moments earlier. "Yuffie, I'm going to fix the ship. I'll be outside. And I'm sure you can all manage without my presence."

Both Rinoa and Irvine rolled their eyes and Yuffie kept giggling. "No! No! You're not leaving!" She shook her finger at him, not able to resist the change in atmosphere now. "I want to see your face through all of it! The ship can wait! You're staying!"

"Yuffie—"

"—You owe me, Squall! You know it! So, you're staying!" Yuffie gave him a smile as she cut him off. Wiping the stray tears away from her cheeks and the trails they left behind, she looked back at Irvine and Rinoa. Giddy and excited, she felt her heart pump harder, soaring with the fact that there was some good that came from all of this. "Can I make a request?" When they nodded, her grin furthered and she looked solely at Rinoa. "Tell me the story when you first met Squall…And no detail missed, please."

She caught the look on Squall's face when she finished talking and was suddenly very glad that she asked for that story. He looked like he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole. _Perfect… _Yuffie smiled. It may be cruel, yes, she knew, but what her fists could not do to him, she was sure that Rinoa's words would.

And that made her just a little more happy.

"Come on, let's move to the cockpit. We have chairs and stuff there!" Her heart stopped being heavy and she practically skipped towards said room. "Do you guys want anything to eat or drink? The Gummi Ship has some food. It's probably not the greatest but…I'm sure the Powhatans don't have chocolate bars and pasteurized milk. I mean, the milk is the weird powdered kind, but it's still close. And I bet you guys haven't seen ice in a while. I mean, the refrigerator kind…not Blizzaga or anything…"

Squall had stayed a few steps behind the rest of them, dreading his fate, with Rinoa holding onto his hand and pulling him forward. But he heard it in her voice. That rambling tone. And as they left the toolkit behind, he wanted to make sure that this wasn't all a dream.

Because now was the time where he didn't want to wake up.

* * *

Ahhh. Just wanted to get this chapter up before I left for Spain.

I hope I got Squall in character for this. At first, my editor/muse Cheekyte thought he was too wordy…so hopefully I succeeded. And I hope I made Yuffie's action/reaction to him and his words believable. Because, I wanted her to be angry, but at the same time, not really angry because she still wants him to be around.

Anyway, ahead? Some awkward conversations (about Squall XD) and a sad goodbye.

PLEASE REVIEW!

(now, with silver stars!)


	30. Chapter Thirty

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!):**You guys are awesome. And you make me smile. =D Yay! Just thought you should know that I started writing this chapter the SECOND I got off the plane from Spain. Jetlagged and all.

And that country, by the way, was _beautiful_. Some really pretty boys—I MEAN, architecture and history…haha. Seriously though, beautiful churches and beaches. Not a lot of people spoke English, though. Many, not willing to even mime

* * *

"You asked _him_ to dance?!" Yuffie could not believe her ears at Rinoa's story. They, including Squall and Irvine, were all sitting in the small dining area in the Ship. The cockpit had failed as a meeting room as it would have taken too much effort to bring all the food back and forth. Even though the dining area wasn't all that big, just enough to fit one narrow table, six uncomfortable chairs and a large shelving unit filled with food, it was perfect.

Because she was in plain view of Squall's embarrassed face. _Nowhere to hid in here, you jerk-face. _She was still sort of-kind of mad with him. But he had brought them to her, apologized to her with eyes that she couldn't even describe, and that meant something. Even with all his words and actions from all the years past…it meant _something_. Something good. _…something's changed… _

Because he could have easily just forgotten about her.

"Yup." Rinoa smiled brightly, in between bites of a chocolate chip cookie, not believing that she was eating something she never thought she would eat again. Yuffie was adjacent to her, on her right, and leaning over the table, eager to hear more of the story of the first time she had met Squall. While Irvine was also smiling in front of her, Squall was trying hard not to let any emotion cross his face on her left side. _Hmm. He's actually holding up better than I thought…_

"Him?" The petite ninja pointed at Squall, who was staring at the floor with his arms crossed, just to be sure that they were talking about the same guy. "You asked _him_?"

"Yup." She repeated, smile widening, reaching over for another cookie. _…after everything…that she's done…I think she deserves this…even if it is at Squall's expense…_Dark eyes darted over to her left to meet with a cool stare. There was a pause, a silent plea for her to just stop it already…but it didn't take long for Squall to relent, giving her silent permission to continue. _…and you know it too, mister…_

"To dance?" Yuffie repeated her words, blinking; she just had to be sure. Because there was something about Squall _dancing _that didn't seem all that right. _The universe must have imploded… _Even the thought of him actually dancing and having fluid, rhythmic motion with music…she wasn't sure if she should laugh at the mental image or cry.

"Yeah. I asked him to dance with me." Rinoa swallowed the piece of cookie and took a gulp of milk before continuing. She knew that he wouldn't like her next course of action, but Rinoa felt that she owed it to Yuffie. _…because I wouldn't have gotten that one night, would I? _"After I screwed up my courage, I crossed the main floor and I went right up to him and I said…I said…" She paused thoughtfully, acting the part, as if she had forgotten the most important words she had ever said. Turning shyly to him, Rinoa smiled. _Sorry Squall…_ "Squall…I can't seem to remember my first words to you…"

His eyes looked up from the floor slightly and a small frown came on his forehead. He had been paying attention to the conversation but answered after a pause to catch up with the intent of Rinoa's question. _You…can't be serious… _"Excuse me?"

"My first words to you. My very first. What were they?" She tried to make her voice as innocent as possible, but at Squall's slow exhale, Rinoa knew that he saw right through it. _…Come on, Squall…just…play along. She's earned it, don't you think? _She even pouted a little bit. A small part of her mind asked her why she would be so kind to a stranger, but Rinoa frowned at it. _…because she's important too…_ "…They've seemed to have slipped my mind at the moment."

She was doing this on purpose, wasn't she? _…Rinoa… _He didn't want to answer, didn't want to make this any more awkward than it already was for him…but Squall knew that it wasn't about him anymore because he had been through this already. _…Yuffie… _His initial reluctance was quickly overridden by his purpose; he was here to make it right and rebuild the bond that he had broken because Yuffie deserved the best, Hyne-dammit, and he would not deny her. Especially not after everything she had done and everything he had did. _…and if this is the start to it…if this is the start…then… _His teeth clenched together, but the words got out. "You said that I was the best looking guy in the room."

Yuffie slapped a hand over her mouth incredulously as Irvine laughed louder. "You said _that_?! To _him_?!" She sat back in her chair, blinking, unable to process this story, unable to even imagine someone having the guts to do something like that to a guy like Squall. "I know that you're not lying…but…Oh, gosh! I can't believe that!" It took her a second, her mind wired with excitement, before she got another follow-up question. "What did he say to that?!"

There was another side-glance between the pair and this time the ninja did not miss it. "He chuckled." Rinoa said, still smiling, seeing the entire scene play out in her head, feeling the warmth spread to the tips of her fingers. "The newly appointed SeeD Squall Leonhart chuckled at my bad attempt at an icebreaker. And all that champagne he had probably helped it, too."

That last sentence made Yuffie jump forward again, feet on the seat of the chair, hands on the table. She pointed at Squall with mock accusation. "_You _were _drunk_?!" Her laughter afterwards echoed Irvine's; she was having too much fun with this. And even though a part of her knew with one hundred percent certainty that she deserved it, she was never one to laugh at someone's less-than-stellar moments. At least not this hard. But it felt good to laugh again, to let it all out, because she was tired of being angry. Because he had gone out of his way to make it up to her, didn't he? Because didn't someone tell her once that the path of hatred was one not worth following?

It was then that Squall shifted in his chair, arms getting tighter across his chest, spine straight in his need to defend himself. "…I was not drunk."

"Yes. You were." Rinoa countered, wagging her finger in his face. "You were on your ninth glass of champagne by the time I got the nerve to talk to you!"

"No, I wasn't."

"Yes, you were."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Squall," Rinoa started, rolling her eyes, "you _must _have been drunk, because then why else would you have come out and stumble around on the dance floor when we started? You know that my hypnotism sucks." She countered, holding in her own laughter as the movie in her head kept playing.

"If I remember correctly, you dragged me out there." He shrugged, trying to be as nonchalant as possible, as if the fact of him divulging his private life did not bother him. "…I found my rhythm soon enough."

"_You _have rhythm?!" Yuffie cried before Rinoa could speak again. Snorts of laughter came up from the three of them and Squall resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He would get through this. He would. Because for once, he noticed, it was a real smile that graced Yuffie's face. And after all of _that_, it was a start, wasn't it?

Her cheeks were pink and Yuffie wiped her eyes with the back of her hand as the mental image of Squall dancing had made her laugh _and _cry. "Oh wow! Oh, man! I can't believe it!" She slowed her giggles enough to get the words out. She could picture the scene in her head and it looked like one of those cheesy romance comedies Tifa and her usually laugh at. _Oh gods! Ha!_ "—Okay! Okay!" A few deep breaths later, body still shaking from her laughter, Yuffie asked for her second story, satisfied from the first. _This can only get better…_ "R—Rinoa…I wanna hear the one of yours and Squall's first date. Like, a date-date. Candles and whatever."

Yuffie watched as Squall's lips tensed into a straighter line and smiled just a little bit more. _…last one, I promise… _She giggled even before Rinoa began. She still couldn't believe any of this was happening. That any of _that _had even happened. Because what were the odds she'd be having cookies and milk with the very people she had set out to find after almost losing Squall and believing without a shadow of doubt that he wasn't coming back and after almost killing him? _…or maybe one more after this…_

"Our first date-date, huh?" The woman in blue tapped her chin twice in thought. "That would have to be about…three months after the fall of Ultimecia. …Squall was still Commander and was up to his eyeballs in work since that war so…time together…was usually just five minute periods and very rare…but…one day," A light went on in her dark eyes as the memory hit her, "I remember it was raining, at around three in the afternoon…and he pulled me into the cafeteria, nearly making me trip because we were walking normally before we came to the door and it took me by surprise…"

There was another pause, and the ninja caught the side-glance that they shared. It was as if there was a mental inside joke between the two of them because even Squall's lips twitched upwards a little bit. "…and he practically drags me into the deserted cafeteria. There was only one light on, the one over the table that we usually sat at for lunch, all six of us when possible…everything else was empty and dark…and very, very quiet.

"And he kept pulling me along, grip still tight, and it wasn't until I was beside the table that I saw the food that was there." Rinoa smiled, voice soft, eyes staring blissfully at the cookie in front of her as the memory that now seemed so very far away came to her. She felt that tickling warmth spread through her again, the same feeling that she got when she realized Squall's intention that day. "…He had gotten all the staff and stray cadets in the cafeteria to get out and had gotten the food and had locked all the doors just so that…so that we could finally be alone, you know?"

_He…he did that…? Squall did that? _Yuffie's eyes were wide, not believing a word of Rinoa's story, but appreciating it and accepting it nonetheless. Because, even though she knew that side of him, as small as it had always seemed, existed, it was hard to see him as anything else but brooding and cold. Because he was the one who yelled at her and was insensitive and mean and selfish and a jerk-face, wasn't he?

But the unexpected things were sometimes blinding truths, weren't they? "And…And he told me then, in a quiet voice with his eyes trying to look at me," Rinoa continued, blushing, getting giddy and excited like the seventeen year old she was then, "that every time I was with him…it was like _that_. That room. As if it was just me and him and no one else…with the spotlight on and everything…"

"Ohmygosh, Squall!" Yuffie squeaked the second Rinoa stopped talking, the words coming out so fast they mashed together. _Ohmygosh! That's even better than all those stupid soap operas Aerith watches! _Her heart squeezed just a little bit at the heartfelt, affectionate gesture Squall had performed for Rinoa all those years ago. She never would have thought words like heartfelt or affectionate would be used to describe _him_. It was hard to picture him saying anything else but 'Whatever' or doing anything more than standard human contact, but she knew that Rinoa wasn't lying and the slightly embarrassed look in Squall's eyes proved it. _That's just so sweet! _This time, she refrained from being sarcastic. "How romantic of you!"

Squall tensed at her compliment, looking away and back on the floor. It was Irvine who got his attention again, using a high-pitched voice to get his point across. "Oh Squall! I never knew you were such a softie!"

Before the taller man could start laughing again, Squall frowned and stood up from his chair. "Irvine. Get up. Now."

He snorted, stopping his laughter short. "W—What? Wait, why?"

"Up. Now."

"Hey! But the story ain't done yet! There's a part two, isn't there? You know, the one that starts later in the night?" Even though Irvine did not want to leave, as he was clearly enjoying himself, he stood up slowly, not liking the glare he was receiving from the older man. He smirked back at him as he pushed the chair towards the table. _Like he's gonna seriously maim me if I don't leave or something… _"Come on, Squall, can't you take a joke?"

"We should go fix the engine. You're quite good at that, aren't you?" Squall continued smoothly. "Self-proclaimed best mechanic in Galbadia, right?"

"Hell yeah, of course, but I wanna hear—"

"—Now, Kinneas." There was another glare and Squall put as much authority into his voice as he could. He could deal with Yuffie's taunts, even about stuff like _that_, because she deserved to laugh and giggle and smile again. But Irvine's taunts were another story. "If you'll excuse us." Squall nodded at the two women at the table, looking at Rinoa's face a little longer, before turning around towards the forgotten toolkit that still lay on the floor.

"Hey! Squall! It's just the thermal rotary piston that needs tinkering!" Yuffie called out after him, laughing in between words.

"Thank you, Yuffie."

Irvine huffed in irritation before following Squall. Calling back, over his shoulder, he smirked at Yuffie. "Be prepared to reiterate all stories for me, okay? No way am I missing out on prime joke material…"

The petite ninja giggled behind her hands. _Squall's so defensive! Ha!_ "You got it, cowboy!" And with a tip of his hat, they were out of the room. Yuffie could hear the sounds of Squall and Irvine picking up the tools that were still on the ground, that clang of metal on metal, and it was a while before she realized that no one was talking. Her eyes glanced over to Rinoa, who was still staring at her half-eaten cookie. "…Rinoa…?"

She looked up slowly, a small smile still on her face, a light blush on her cheeks, but her eyes were…sad, almost. _Sad? What does she have to be sad over…?_ Yuffie frowned slightly, but a part of her knew the name for that nostalgic look. After all, wasn't she the one who usually wore it? _…day-dreamer… _Rinoa blinked quickly three times, bringing herself back into the present and losing the face. "Sorry…" She mumbled, speaking softly, shaking her head. "…sometimes…the memory feels better than when the actual thing happened, you know…?"

Yuffie paused for a second before answering. _…you have no idea…_ "Yeah…" She swallowed the lump in her throat and before her mind could start throwing out all the memories that she had of her friends and what they did and what they said before all of _this _happened and before her mind could remind her how she would never be lucky enough to get it back, to get new ones, Yuffie forced herself to grin. "…w—wanna hear one of my stories of Squall?"

All traces of the sad eyes she had seen earlier in the older woman were gone. Rinoa smiled, "Yes! Of course!"

"Well," she began, trying to pick the best story she could find to keep her head quiet and to entertain her guest, "there was this one time, when Squall and I were doing a patrol in the outskirts of Hollow Bastion. See, that place there is really icy with a lot of cliffs and this giant, bottomless hole that you'd have to watch out for…_Anyway_, so we were making our way around and he has the audacity to tell me to be careful around this really steep hill that we were climbing down.

"I swear, the second the words were out of his mouth, he takes this _huge _wipe-out!" Yuffie spread her arms apart to indicate just how huge the wipeout was. She may have been exaggerating, but she figured she had earned the right to stretch the truth just a little bit. "So, he's sliding down the cliff and lands awkwardly on his ankle at the bottom. Did Squall used to swear a lot back then? Because he yells at _me_ for letting some words go and you should have heard _him_! Going on and on like the words were going out of style!

"So, by the time I get down there—without a scratch, mind you—he's already trying to get up and walk. And he's trying to be all macho and telling me, 'No, I'm fine', and 'I can walk on it' and I'm like, 'Yeah, right! I saw the way you fell! Your ankle's out of place! I can see it!' and it was so obvious by his face. It took me a few minutes to convince him otherwise, you know. I literally had to step on his foot to make him realize that he wasn't going anywhere without help.

"You should have seen us!" Yuffie smiled, mouth rambling, getting more and more animated as the memory came back. "I was trying to act like his crutch, pulling his arm over my shoulder and supporting his weight but it was so funny because he's just so much bigger than I am! I made some smart-aleck remark about it and he actually told me, 'Stop helping me, then.' He didn't get two steps out before he dropped! Ha! When we had finally moved to a more stable ground, I gave him the Cura spell…and that's probably the first time I've ever heard him say 'thank you.' …Has he always been that way?"

Rinoa gave her a tiny smirk, pushing the spark of jealousy out of her system. _…you should be happy, not envious, that he had someone to lean on for seven years…that he wasn't alone…that he had something—someone to keep him going…because seven years is a long time to be doing nothing, isn't it?_ "You have no idea…It took him a long time to get used to people actually _wanting _to go out of their way to help him and even longer to accept that help. Squall…he just never liked to be a burden, you know? That's just the way he is…"

She shrugged before continuing. "It was annoying, I'm sure…I know…and I should applaud you for putting up with him for so long…You should get a medal." There was another pause, and Yuffie saw that look creep up in her eyes as her words got soft. A serious tone entered Rinoa's voice at her next question. "…Has he been…okay…?"

"For the most part, I guess…" Yuffie answered slowly, not entirely sure what words she should use. _I mean, it's not like I can tell her what a wreck he's been…right?_ "…What did he…tell you?"

"He told me that he changed his name." And there was such a sad conviction in her tone at that statement that Yuffie felt her heart squeeze. "He told me…that he had…stopped looking……and how sorry he was." Rinoa looked up at her suddenly, with a spark in her eyes. "And he told me everything that he had been doing…With Sora…and those dark creatures called the Heartless and what all of that means and what all of you have been through and he kept telling me how sorry he was for all of that but I…but I didn't bother to forgive him because I kept telling him that he had nothing to be sorry for…

"Seeing him…again…has made me so happy. And proud…that he's been doing what he could to get rid of all of this darkness and unhappiness. Even though...I don't exactly agree with the method he's been using to get rid of those memories…throwing himself into his work and—and beating himself up over his choices and his past and taking it out on you even though you were just trying to help…I wish you could have seen his face when he talked about you and the rest of the people from Hollow Bastion…

"You are so special to him…all of you guys are. Don't you dare think for a second that he doesn't appreciate all the things you've done for him…it just…takes him a while…to say it …And I…" Rinoa took a deep breath, her rambling taking the wind out of her, and felt her heart pound inside her chest. Because the love of her life had found her and even though it had been a long time, with new people and places and a life that she could only dream of, he was here. He was here and that's all that mattered right now. "…and I wanted to thank you, Yuffie…For what you've done for him. For me…even though you don't know me very well…"

They looked at each other with mirrored smiles. "Thank you…so much…" She repeated, wiping the stray tear from her face. "…for bringing him back to me as a better man…"

Yuffie's mind went blank, but her mouth managed to respond. She never would have thought she would ever get that kind of compliment. _...About Squall, no less..._"Y—Your welcome…"

Rinoa blinked, abruptly remembering something, and turned her head towards the back left-hand pocket of her shorts. She moved around in the chair, fishing for the object she had grabbed after Pocahontas had come to her home. _…and I think…this is the right time… _Finally, a small, slightly crinkled envelope came to her and another smile graced her face. Dark eyes looked at it for a second, remembering the night when she had written it, before looking up at Yuffie's perplexed expression. "…Here."

"W—What?"

"I…" Rinoa paused again, the plain white envelope being held up by her hand between them, before finally finding the right words. "I want you to…give this to Squall for me, okay?" She said the last part very quickly, but wasn't sure why.

"Uh…" Yuffie gaped, staring at the envelope with confusion. She made a motion towards it, but stopped short. "O—Okay…But…why? I mean, I'll do it, don't worry, but…why don't you…?"

"…Do it myself?" She finished for her, smiling again. Yuffie nodded once before Rinoa offered her explanation. "…because I want it…to be a surprise…for him…And—And I know how much he hates surprises and all, but I think he'll…appreciate it more…when he can finally see that mixing past and present and future together is okay to do…that he can have both…and that it isn't as scary as he thinks…"

At those words, Yuffie quickly took the envelope and its mysterious contents from her and placed it in the back pocket of her shorts. _…whatever it is…he'll appreciate it, I'll guarantee that! _"You got it. All contents will be delivered to the client within three to five business days!" She gave an attempt at lightening the atmosphere and was glad that it worked, because Rinoa gave a laugh.

"Thank you…" She said again, nodding. _…for everything that you've done for him…_ "I'm really glad that Squall met someone like you……and that we got to meet."

"Me too." Yuffie grinned, agreeing to both statements.

"Can I…ask you something else?" Rinoa leaned in, pursing her lips together, as if her next question was going to be very serious again. _With all your hard work…and everything you've been through…you deserve to smile more than anymore…_Her tone was low, almost a whisper, and she could tell that she had Yuffie going before the words were out. "…Am I the only one who thinks Leon Leonhart is the lamest name ever?"

Yuffie snorted, covering her mouth with her hands as she laughed, not expecting the sudden comedy. "Ohmygosh, no!" Their laughter immediately quieted when they heard footsteps and quickly saw an out of breath Irvine returning to the room.

"Guys! C—Come outside, quick!" He skidded to a stop, stretching out his arms to grab both sides of the doorframe. "Me and Squall were fixing the engine and—and—! You gotta see the party!"

"Party?" Rinoa raised an eyebrow but the two women needed no more encouragement to get up. Not bothering to tuck their chairs in, they followed Irvine to the exit, with Yuffie punching in her code with a speed so fast that her hand blurred. _What's going on now?_

The door slid open with the familiar hydraulic hiss and the sight that greeted them was one that Rinoa and Yuffie did not expect. The second the door opened, over forty pairs of eyes were on them, each belonging to a member of the Powhatan tribe, either young or old or man or woman. They held baskets of corn and other foods, blankets and jewelry in their hands and the ones that held nothing were applauding. Yuffie could only recognize four of them: Nakoma, Kekata, the Chief and Pocahontas.

The latter of which, she noticed, was holding four bowls of something in her hands. "H—Hey…?" Yuffie waved with confusion, not sure why everyone in the village had come here bearing gifts. At her voice, Squall, who was standing a few feet in front of them facing the crowd, turned. He made a small movement with his hand and the three of them came down the steps and walked over to his position.

"Squall…?" Rinoa said quietly, coming up beside him, the applause getting louder now that they were all together. "…What's going on?"

Before he could answer her, Chief Wahunsenacawh held up his hand and the clapping stopped. All attention went to the tall native man with the feathered headdress. "Brave warriors, healers…We have come here, this glorious morning, in the utmost gratitude. For you," he paused, sweeping his hand over to indicate the four white people, "have given us much aid and knowledge. My people give their thanks."

All four blinked slowly in unison as the Powhatans who carried the hand-woven baskets filled with food and cloth, walked up to them in three rows of four. The baskets were placed at their feet, also in three rows of four, and every one of them bowed before moving back to the crowd. _…oh wow… _Yuffie blinked again, at their order, at the sheer number of baskets, and was about to start checking out the contents of all of them when the Chief began talking.

"Our Healer from Across the Waters…such a mystery…" He began, looking right at Rinoa. "And the injured man from the Ship of John Smith, Irvine…" His eyes switched over to the cowboy, who felt the need to remove his hat out of respect. Both took a step forward after realizing his stare but said nothing, on account of not knowing what to say. "We are glad to see that you are well, Irvine." The Chief continued.

"T—Thanks." Irvine gave a smile, albiet a nervous one. He was more surprised than anything that the natives actually remembered the young man who had stumbled around the campgrounds with a broken arm from the ride. _Can't believe...they remember me..._ "She fixed me up in no time…And I…just wanted to stay with her…"

The Chief nodded at his words before turning to the still mysterious healer. "What is your given name, my sister?"

Her mouth opened and closed a few times without sound but she managed to blurt it out. "R—Rinoa." Of course, she knew that even if none of _this_ happened, she would have eventually revealed herself to the people who sent her food and water in exchange for healing. But she had always feared their reaction to a _white_ healer, let alone a Sorceress, even though Pocahontas told her otherwise; much to her relief, it was understanding and compassion, not malice in his eyes.

It was then, at the sound of her name, that all the Powhatans in the crowd bowed to her. "Uh, t—thank you…" Out of habit, she tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear and waited for them to rise. "It's okay…all of this isn't necessary…I'm glad to help…I mean, you all bring me food and water and everything and…" Rinoa knew she was rambling and quickly clamped her lips shut. _…I'm sure Pocahontas put in a good word for you…_

"We are content in giving aid to you, and your friends," Chief Wahunsenacawh started again, first pointing to Irvine and then to Squall and Yuffie. "You have saved our people from the hands of the Black Demons. You have shown us new medicine. And we ask of you to continue in your aid. It would be much appreciated."

The crowd nodded, some bowing again, others starting more applause. Over the minimal noise, the Chief continued, focusing his attention on the pair that had flown in on the giant bird. _My daughter had told me quite the story, my friends…_ "It has come to my attention that you, Leon, and you, Yuffie, are parting ways with us."

It was then that Pocahontas smiled, holding up the four bowls. "We know that we cannot ask you to stay…but, before you leave, we ask that you partake in a ceremony that we perform for noble warriors in our village when they leave for or come back from battle." When neither Squall or Yuffie made any motion of reluctance, she moved towards them. "Yuffie…please, step forward."

The petite ninja quickly came forward and looked up at her. Mind blank at all the sudden commotion with the natives, she blurted out the first thing she could think of. "What's in the bowls?"

"Paint. See?" Pocahontas titled the bowls slightly so that Yuffie could see the vibrant blue, green, red and brown colours. "I ask of you to hold still." At that request, Yuffie went stiff, squaring her shoulders and holding her arms down at her sides. The native woman chuckled slightly before kneeling down to her eye-level and placing the paints at their feet.

"My sister, Yuffie," she began, dipping her index finger in the blue paint and touching the middle of her forehead. "For your bravery, your unrelenting compassion, your strength, we call you the Giver. Your generousity is commendable, but do not forget that you too deserve good things. You are Pineshìnjish ou Kizis: the Sparrow of Suns. …For your heart is beautiful and light and adventurous, like the birds in the sky…and even when you are just flying, it is a gift for all. A promise of a new day. May your troubles drift out from under your wings as you rise above them, for your sprit is unreachable."

Yuffie tried not to move under Pocahontas' fingertips as she traced designs on her face, but the cold paint was making her ticklish. There was silence as the native woman made three blue dots across her forehead, a red line down the middle of her nose and over her lips and to her chin and three brown diagonal lines on her right cheek. She bowed to her when she had finished and kissed the top of her head. "And while you may not look very closely before you leap and will tend to bite off more than you can chew, your heart will always bring you in the right direction if you listen and you will persevere. Because you know that the sun will come, that a new day will follow, that your friends are waiting to be found. …Thank you, Pineshìnjish ou Kizis."

A smile came to the both of them and Yuffie bowed to her. "You're welcome." As she moved back towards Irvine, Pocahontas stood upright again and looked at Squall. She nodded at him. "Squall…please, step forward."

He realized that she had said his _name_ on purpose, just loud enough for him to hear, to test him, to gauge his eyes for something. And as much as a tiny part of him wanted to correct her, as he had done more times than he could count, Squall remained silent, and nodded at her. _…because what does that name matter, anyway? _There was a flicker in her eyes and she gave him a tiny smile. He moved over to her quickly.

"My brother," Pocahontas began, picking up the green paint bowl and dipping her middle finger into it. Her dark eyes stared into his and with sweet relief, saw more openings to his soul. _For the wall…has finally begun to crack…the sadness is gone…this trail is over… _"Your strength is unquestionable, your determination unmatched and although your heart is guarded heavily," she paused, giving a glance at Rinoa and Yuffie and Irvine, "you are the Guardian. And you will stop at nothing to protect those close to you. While that is admirable, it can make failures to uphold that seem too much to bear."

Squall closed his eyes and exhaled as Pocahontas traced the green paint over the length of his scar. "For this, you are Tocho qu Matoo a Tibik-kizis: The Lion who Cries at the Moon. You are fierce and strong, like the animal of your name, ready to fight and work through conflict with thought and force. You walk under the light of the moon for your protection, for your strategy…but also, so that you will not see the scars of your travels, of your hardships. And although you think you stalk the night alone, you are merely unable to see those you love walking alongside you…for you are wrongly holding your defeats in front of your tears."

The red paint came next, marking the path down the middle of his nose, over his lips and to his chin. "You are a warrior, calculating and strong, but I urge you to go to morning. To see the sun and everyone who travels with you for you are never alone and were never meant to be alone. It will hurt your eyes, but you are ready now, don't you think?" Pocahontas put the blue paint on his cheeks, two vertical streaks on each, with a single brown dot in between the lines. She put the bowl down quickly and, after motioning him to bow his head forward, kissed the top of his head. "Thank you, Tocho qu Matoo a Tibik-kizis."

Squall opened his eyes and bowed fully to her. "You're welcome."

Pocahontas stepped back and Chief Wahunsenacawh raised his hands again. "May the warriors who are leaving us find their home safely and continue on their paths of righteousness." The crowd began to applaud again. Over the noise, the Chief continued. "And may our healer and her companion find solace that we will forever embrace them as members of our village."

At this, the crowd of Powhatans began to cheer for them, clapping and bowing several more times before their astonished eyes. While some of the natives turned back to the campground, most stayed put, waiting for the warriors' exit, talking amongst themselves. But the Chief walked towards them and thanked each of them face-to-face. "Meegwetch." He repeated to each of them, pounding a fist over his heart twice as he said it. "We shall stay nearby if you require any assistance for your departure."

"Alright." Squall nodded at him, grateful, but didn't bother telling him that even if there was a problem with the engine, they probably wouldn't know where to start. After all, Irvine's hands had almost fixed whatever had been wrong with the thermal rotary piston. Yuffie had clearly done her share of fixing the rest of engine earlier and the rest of the job wouldn't take him more than fifteen minutes. At the conclusion of his mental checklist, his mind brought up an important point solemnly. _…and then, we'll be leaving soon, won't we? _After all, their ceremony from the natives had dictated that, hadn't it?

The seriousness of that question didn't hit fully him yet but it echoed in his head in a voice that reminded him of a younger version of himself. Squall watched Chief Wahunsenacawh's retreating back for a few seconds before turning his head slightly and catching Rinoa's stare. _…we'll be leaving soon, won't we? _She immediately looked away shyly because she had gotten caught staring, but when she looked back, she found his gaze too. It stayed together for a few long seconds before they both looked away.

_Well, now that the commotion is over__…_ Yuffie, while pulling Irvine by the hand, practically skipped over to the baskets once the applause had died down. She knew that she would have to split the gifts with Irvine and Rinoa, but she just wanted to see what she would have to give up.

"Man, look at all this stuff." Irvine commented after whistling. He sat down quickly on the grass and pulled the closest basket towards him. "I call this green poncho."

_…O__h wow, look at all this food! And this necklace! _She held up a string of turquoise beads up to the light. "Fine! I'm keeping this necklace!" The pair laughed softly and kept searching._ Who knew they had stuff like this to give!_

"That's hand-made..." Pocahontas pointed to the necklace in Yuffie's hand and motioned to the poncho in Irvine's. She smiled and sat down next to her petite friend. "Nakom's mother knit that. Nakoma and I found the stones for the necklace. Do you like it?"

"Well, you better. Do you know how hard it is to make that?!" Nakoma chided, sitting down next to Irvine. The younger woman laughed.

"It's very nice. Where'd you find this stuff?"

"Around." Nakoma shrugged. While Yuffie kept rummaging through the baskets, she missed a stare between her two native friends. "Hey, Yuffie...?" Nakoma started, looking at Pocahontas.

"—Yeah?" Bright brown eyes and a face full of colours looked up.

Pocahontas smiled as all the fear and worry she had kept in her heart over her new friends, over that grief and harsh words, ebbed away at the look in Yuffie's eyes. _The life has returned to your beautiful soul__…The trail is over__…_ "I'm guessing...that whatever was bringing you sadness..." She paused for a moment, looking over to Squall and Rinoa, "...has resolved itself."

Yuffie followed her gaze and watched the two of them continue with their broken staring contest. She heard Irvine snort softly at Squall and Rinoa's exchange and at that sound, she reached over to punch him lightly on the arm. "Come on, don't be mean."

He stopped his laughing, opting to smirk at her instead. He wanted to tell her that after what Squall had said to her face, she should be okay with a few more jokes in his direction, but decided against it. _At least it's over now__…that part's done__…Forgive and forget and all that jazz. Damn, Squall__…I don't think you know how lucky you've been__…_ Irvine stood up suddenly and nudged Yuffie with his foot. "Hey, lemme help you bring some of this stuff inside, okay?"

"—Huh? Now? Why?" At her questions, Irvine just smiled. _I really hope that this will all come together, Squall__…for all of us__…Because as lucky as I've been__…I just want one more thing__…that's all__…_ He wasn't really listening when Yuffie caught on and began to ramble, "Oh! Yeah! Of course! These are too heavy for one person, you know! Come on, Nakoma, Pocahontas!"

Nakoma snorted before grabbing one of the bags. Smirking, she understood what the taller man was getting at. "You know, if they wanted to be _alone_, why can't _they_ just go into the bird? Why do _I _have to move?"

Irvine could only grin at her. _…at least they're smiling now…a long time coming__…_ "Because then they would stay in there for the rest of the day and be too tired to leave."

Pocahontas chuckled as she picked up two bags while Nakoma simply rolled her eyes, balancing hers on her hip. "Whatever. Let's just leave the romantics alone. I don't think I can stomach that statue being anything but a statue."

As the others began moving the gifts closer to the Gummi Ship's door, Rinoa and Squall had inched closer to one another as Squall began his trek back to the engine. Their eyes were still avoiding one another's faces and they weren't saying anything as they walked. "So…" She began, finally getting close enough to link her fingers with his. He was still looking down at the grass, so Rinoa moved closer, leaning her head on his shoulder and squeezing his fingertips. "So…" She tried again.

When his feet ended up in front of the toolkit, Squall stopped moving and looked at her. "So…" He mumbled quietly, a faint chuckle in his tone.

It was a brave smile that came on her face next, he noticed, because her lips were shaking. "…Well, I just thought I'd let you know that Tocho qu Ma—whatever, even with that face paint, is a much cooler sounding name than Leon Leonhart."

He gave her a small smile, something that had always been beautiful and brilliant to her, before responding. "Really…?"

Rinoa nodded, somewhat thankful for the distraction the conversation was allowing. _…because you'll be leaving soon…won't you? _"Yup. I mean, Leon is a cool sounding name…but Leon Leonhart? Seems kinda…I dunno, redundant. You should have changed your last name, too, while you were at it. Maybe Leon Loire, if you still wanted the alliteration…Or," She paused, a small laugh escaping her, "Leon Heartilly. That one sounds good, too."

Another short laugh came between them, Rinoa hugging his arm, and Squall took one long look at her face before turning to the engine in front of them. _…as soon as I fix this, I'll be leaving…I'll be leaving, won't I? _As much as he wanted to keep talking, keep avoiding what was coming next, he knew that he couldn't, even though this was going to be the hard part, wouldn't it? With his free hand, he bent slightly, and picked up the wrench in the toolkit that Irvine had been using earlier. _…just tighten up the axial…and it'll be done… _

He felt her grip tighten on his arm as she watched him. His heart was pounding against his ribcage because she knew it too. As soon as that engine was fixed…he'd be gone. Because that was the plan, wasn't it? He couldn't just leave his responsibilities behind…he was still helping Hollow Bastion and Sora and all the other worlds…Squall closed his eyes and exhaled, forcing his mind to stop running and thinking of the plan. "Rinoa…"

"Yes…?" She answered slowly, still holding onto his arm and squeezing his fingers again.

He squeezed back. "I know this engine backwards and forwards. It's the FDX-331 model, the first one Cid ever showed me, and it's nearly a mirror copy of Galbadia's MP-086. As quickly as I can put it together, I can take it apart. I can dismantle this entire thing and…and accidentally forget to replace a gear. It would be an important piece, of course, somewhere deep in the heart of the machine, and you wouldn't be able to tell that something was wrong until you tried to start the engine…Without that piece, any air that came through, at take-off speed, would cause the entire system to collapse on itself…"

When his voice trailed off, Rinoa understood the point of the story. She held onto him as tightly as she could, trying to physically burn the feeling of his arm and his body against her into her mind. "…and then…you couldn't leave…right?"

He didn't say anything and he didn't have to. _…and then, you would stay here…with me…with us… _And while the thought of holding him like this forever made her heart pound with delight—because she had been waiting for this for seven years, hadn't she?—Rinoa made that part of her stop short. _…but how can I ask that of you…? When you still have…all those other things to worry about…? _"But, Squall…you can't do that…" She said at last, talking over the voice in her head that kept telling her to hold on and _never _let go.

"I know." He mumbled, staring at the engine again, suddenly aware of the weight of the wrench in his hand. "I know…that I can't…but I want to. I want…to stay here. With you. And to just…keep going with _this_, because it's been seven years and I…but I know that it would be selfish of me…to stay here…but I—I don't want to lose you again…" Because this was something he wanted back, right? Something he wanted, right? So why couldn't he keep it like this? With both?

There was a defeated tone in his voice and Rinoa used one of her hands to grab his chin and pull his face towards her, trying hard to give him a smile. They stared intently at each other for a few seconds before her lips quivered. "I'm not going anywhere." She whispered, not letting the tears fall. _…Squall…_ "You can't lose me…because I'm not going anywhere…I—I'll be right here."

"But what if—?"

"—No…" She stopped him, holding a finger to his painted lips. "No, I won't let that happen. It won't. I'm not going anywhere…"

"How do you know?" Squall kept his voice low, barely hearing himself over the sound of his heart pounding against his ribcage. His fears multiplied suddenly, and his voice came out fast. "How do you know that this place won't be taken away and you'll wake up somewhere else—?!"

"—Then you'll find me." Rinoa cut him off quickly, hating to see him this way. _…please don't make this harder than it already is…_ "You'll find me. All over again. Yuffie will help and…A—And I'll make sure…to plant a garden of flowers…so that we can keep that promise, okay? So that you'll know where to find me next time…"

He knew it wouldn't be that simple if it happened. Because even if he found her again, even if that happened, what if she couldn't remember? And this was the only time he had left with her…? "But what if you forget…?" The question came out as a whisper, as if saying it softly wouldn't let Hyne hear it and consider it and make it happen just to spite him because he was finally happy. "…Like Irvine…? Like Selphie…? Like Quistis…?"

Another tight squeeze came to his fingertips and he noticed that Rinoa was crying. "…Then you'll just have to tell Sora that he better hurry up and fix all of this." She gave him a hopeful smile, trying to chase away the fear in his eyes, even though she knew that there was a good possibility that all of that might happen. That she would become overwhelmed, that Ultima might not work, that she would wake up somewhere new with no recollection of anything and be all alone again and—and— _…Stop it… _Her lips pursed together. _…you have right now, don't you? You have it right now…Don't waste it by worrying…Because he's here…_

There was another silence, another stare, a breeze in the trees that ruffled their clothing and hair, before Rinoa's voice came to his ears. "…You'll visit, right?"

He nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Because he didn't think he could form words right now. Because he was about to leave the love of his life _again _and he didn't think it would be _this_ hard and everything was upside down and rearranged and painful and the way she was looking at him didn't allow his mind to make proper thoughts, did it? _…I'll visit…of course I will… _Squall exhaled a shaky breath, not realizing that his hands were shaking until she squeezed them still.

"…You'll visit…So I won't say goodbye, because you'll be back…" He watched her wipe the tears from her cheeks with her free hand. "…You'll visit because you know where I am…and you know where to find me…and I'm not going anywhere…N—Not if I can help it…" She didn't want to lose him, she didn't want him to go, because she would rather have her eye on him, to know where he was and not to worry anymore… _…but I can't ask you to stay…because as much as I need you…the rest of the universe…needs you, too… _Rinoa's eyes stayed locked onto his. "Squall…"

The hand that held the wrench tightened. This was going to be the hard part, wasn't it? "Yes…?"

There was that brave smile again. And when the words hit his ears, it felt like the universe held its breath so that he could hear her because he could have sworn he could hear the violins and the flutes and the clarinets playing softly and in tune in the background. "…I love you."

And suddenly, Squall felt like he was on the balcony again. As if it was only them two, with the weight of the worlds far, far away. The music was playing from the orchestra inside the Grand Hall for the celebration dinner and everyone seemed to be waiting on his response. But that was the easy part, right? He knew this part. And while his heart pounded, his mind scrambling to remember this moment for all the detail it was worth because _this _was very important to him, Squall felt his lips move. "I love you, too."

At some point, the wrench slipped from his grip and he turned to face her. His hand came up to gently cup her face and her eyes were starting to close and so were his, even though he wanted to keep them open so that he could see this moment and remember it forever because this was something he wanted back, and his heart was pounding loudly in his ears and he could feel the tingles of her skin on his, that warmth, but when their lips touched…everything went silent. And still.

And it was beautiful.

Because he had said it, finally said it. And nothing could take that away from him.

* * *

WHAT A LONG CHAPTER.

But I thoroughly enjoyed writing this. Hope you did too. (sorry for the long wait, though)

PLEASE REVIEW! =D


	31. Chapter Thirty One

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!):** Thanks again, guys!

I have some saddening news, though. My old, reliable computer blew a fuse and is no longer functioning. X__X Lucky for me, that happened the day after I put up Chapter 30, so I lost no data before putting it online. Also, lucky for me, it happened BEFORE school started…so, no lost labs or anything. Unfortunately, I'll be writing now either on my sister's laptop (when she's not home) or at my University's computer labs. (sigh)

Anyway, hope you all enjoy this one. This story is coming to a close soon…

* * *

She couldn't take it anymore. "Honestly, Zell…" Tifa paused, trying to keep the irritation in her voice to a minimum. "If you don't stop pacing right now, I'm going to punch you to next Thursday!"

Since Yuffie had called in, and told them in too few words that Leon had left and wasn't coming back and all she really needed was help on fixing the Ship to come home, Zell had been pacing. Up and down, over and over and over again. _He's going to run a hole into the ground if he keeps this up! _Tifa frowned slightly, as she watched her words fly over his head. "Dammit, Zell! Can you please stop?!"

As much as he didn't want her to follow through with her threat, Zell just couldn't stop because his mind was going a mile a minute, making the same conclusion over and over and over again as he walked and he thought that if he stopped moving, his mind would stop too and he really didn't want it to because this was important. _Squall…Squall's not coming back… _He turned on the balls of his feet and made his way back towards the computers. _That means that…that…either, one, he threw himself off a cliff or two, they found someone else…_

Zell stopped and turned again, going back the way he came, towards the exit. He knew, probably better than most, that Squall Leonhart was a man who was very hard to kill. And the idea that he could willingly take his own life just sounded ludicrous because he had been trained to stay alive and the reason for it would be so stupid and if he really meant to do it over _that _he would have done so by now and he was just too damn stubborn to die. Even if he wanted to, Zell knew that his SeeD training would probably end up saving his life in the end anyway. _…so that means…they must have found someone…_

"Zell! Please! Don't make me come over there!" Tifa tried again, watching him. She had stayed at the computer, eyes switching from his form to the light that would signify Yuffie's call back. She wanted to get to the bottom of this because she hated being out of the loop; Yuffie obviously knew what happened and something told her that Zell did too. _Because Leon—…Squall can't just…leave…That's just not…him… _

The only thing she did know was whatever had happened between the two of them must have been big because Tifa couldn't think of another time Yuffie looked that upset. _…maybe…maybe her plan just…blew up in her face… _At that thought, Tifa sighed. That had been her fear since the beginning of this. _…dammit, Leon…she was only trying to help……why did you do that?_

He turned again, coming towards her. _…and the only person…Squall would ever drop everything for…would be…Rinoa… _Zell absentmindedly cracked his knuckles as he got closer to Tifa. _But…why was Yuffie so upset, then? That was the plan, wasn't it? …what did Squall say to her? _He was about to turn back around, to think about the new question, to try and pinpoint a part that he knew he was missing about this, when he felt a tight grip on his shoulder.

"Zell. Please. You're making me nervous." Tifa pulled at him and turned him to face her fully. _Maybe…if I get him to sit down…? I just need to think this through…_ "Just…Just, sit down. All we can do is wait for her to call in again. Then, we can ask her questions. Okay?" There was a slight hesitation, but he nodded, and she sighed with relief when he finally took the seat next to the one she had been sitting at in front of the computers.

It seemed to stretch on forever; just the silence of the two of them staring at the screen, waiting for the light to start flashing red, both thinking of the people on the other side. But Zell couldn't sit still for long. The quiet soon became punctuated with the sounds of his chair creaking and his fidgeting. Tifa, interrupted from her thoughts, gave him a side-glance at the new noises, again trying hard to keep the irritation out of it. His movements were getting rather distracting and she couldn't pull a thought together about Yuffie or Leon or what to do with all of that with his constant motion.

_Zell, come on, I'm trying to think! …If you aren't pacing…you're cracking your knuckles…or tapping your foot…or leaning back and forth in your chair… _He reminded Tifa of Yuffie when she drank too much coffee. She sighed again, making her lack of patience with Zell's behaviour a consequence of her worry. _…he isn't making this any easier…What am I going to say to her? She worked so hard…just to make him happy…to get him out of that state…_

Zell eventually caught her stare and quickly stopped all movements, seeing her obvious distaste. "Sorry, Tifa. But I just can't help it, sometimes."

"Uh-huh." She raised her eyebrow. "Clearly not."

"Hey." He frowned a little. "Squall's my friend too. And I'm just as worried about him as you are. Even for Yuffie. I just...manifest my worrying into…this." Zell made a motion to his fingers that had started strumming against the countertop, seemingly of their own accord.

"Well, it's giving me a headache. And I just want some quiet to think this through…" Tifa mumbled, burying her head in hands, wishing she could just sleep this off. Or wake up, making this and the problem with Yuffie and Leon just vanish. But she knew that people and problems don't just vanish, right? _But what…can I say…to make it better for her? After her hard work…? _

There was silence again, Zell making his fingers not tap as loudly as they had been doing before, and Tifa turned to him. She pursed her lips together before asking her question. Because if Zell knew Squall, then he must know something. _…like what he's like when he's angry…_ "Zell…?"

"Yeah?"

"…What do you think Leon said to Yuffie…? You know, to make her…like that…" Tifa looked back to the computer when she finished, trying to keep the mental image of Yuffie's tear-streaked face out of her head. She felt her heart squeeze at the pain Yuffie was in and she just wanted to get some conversation going before she exploded. _…it must have been about her…little plan……but does that mean that it worked…? That she found someone…?_

"Well…Have you ever seen Squall snap? Like, get really angry?" Zell looked at her profile and watched as Tifa shook her head 'no.' At that, he gave her a half-smile and his voice came out quiet. _…because if Squall actually got angry over Yuffie's plan, it probably wasn't pretty……but she found Rinoa, right?_ "…It's kinda like…the verbal equivalent of getting your face ripped off. I've only seen it once and thankfully it wasn't towards me. It was to this cadet who nearly blew up thirty people on a mission, me and Quistis included."

She winced slightly, picturing the scene in her head. Leon had always kept a calm face around them and she had only seen him get mildly agitated with Yuffie and only mildly angry during battle. But Tifa could always tell that there was something dark and furious under that steel gaze and if he got provoked enough, Squall would be down-right brutal. _Because no one can contain their grief forever. And his eyes…were just too cold… _"…So…what do you think he was angry about…?"

He shrugged then, trying to stay as still as possible. _If Yuffie…had to go through that…_ "Well, he didn't seem too thrilled when they left to go looking for more of us. Even if it worked, you know, that they found someone, I guess…maybe he just…didn't want to deal with it…I mean, I wasn't exactly given the welcome treatment, right? …And maybe, all the crap he's been holding in all this time—seven years, right?—...it all just came out. In the worst words possible…"

"Gods, I hope not…" Tifa knew the answer to the question she asked, knew how plausible Zell's response was, but she just didn't want to believe it. She winced again as the mental image of Leon and Yuffie arguing came to her mind. _…in the worst words possible…and she was only trying to help… _She sighed again, looking back him, not liking the fact that as much as she wanted to get to Yuffie, she couldn't. Because Zell's Navigation Block was one of kind. "…All we can do is wait…because she's the only one who knows…"

It took her a second to realize that Zell was staring at the computers with wide eyes and not her. It took another second for Tifa to turn back and see that the red light was flashing again. "Ohmygods, speak of the devil!!" She mumbled under her breath, hands blurring in front of her as she quickly accepted the call. All previous thoughts left her head and her mind filled with frantic pleas. _Please…please, be okay…It's okay, Yuffie…Just please… _

Her heart was pounding, she was holding her breath, because she didn't know what to expect, because she didn't know what to say or how to deal with the state Yuffie would be in when the signal picked up. _D—Dammit Leon…I will not let you get away with this—! _When the white snow on the monitor finally flicked into the image of the Gummi Ship's cockpit, Tifa froze. She didn't even get a chance to say her name, to exhale, when Yuffie's smiling face focused sharply on the video screen because it was Zell who shouted first. "—IRVINE?!"

Tifa blinked, her mind finally registering the male in the room with her at the sound of Zell's voice. It was just hard to focus on anything else than the grin on Yuffie's face…She blinked again when she finally registered that both Yuffie and the man that Zell called Irvine were smiling and that it wasn't a trick of the light or faulty computer systems. And that they were waving, too. As if the tear-streaked face that came to them hours before had never existed. _…Yuffie...?__ …what?_

She barely felt Zellʼs not-too-gentle push as he moved closer to the screen. "Kinneas! KINNEAS! You son of a—! Where the hell have you been?!" He didn't realize that he was shouting into the microphone until the two of them on the other side held their hands over their ears.

"Hyne, Dincht, I'm glad to see you too, but the volume's already on high!" Irvine called out to him.

Tifa watched as Zell's face broke out into an ear-to-ear grin. "Sorry man…Sorry…But, holy…You—You're…Hyne-damned, you're alive, buddy!" He laughed, positively beaming, and couldn't stop his rambling or his fidgeting. The last functioning part of his brain, the one that wasn't overcome with the numbing happiness, told him that Irvine hadn't aged a day. That _that _piece of information should worry him. That he shouldn't be so damn happy because there was something wrong…but, he pushed it aside. Zell chose to ignore it for now…at least for a little while. _Because he remembers my name, doesn't he? And means a hell of a lot, don't it?!_ "Dude! Hyne! _Hyne_! It's been like, seven years, man! What's up? What's happening?! Where are you?!"

Irvine grinned back at him and to Zell, it felt like they were in the same room. "Dude, I've been good. Kind of a rough ride…but I'm good."

"Man…Man, Hyne, this is…this is just…totally blowing my mind." He kept running his hands through his hair, over his face, rubbing his eyes to make sure that the image of his friend wouldn't just disappear on him. _Hyne…Hyne, you're not so cruel anymore, you know that? _"Irvine…Irvine. Irvine. Irvine." Zell's repetition was cut off with laughter, a booming echo of pure elation. And even though Tifa hadn't know him for long, she figured that this was the happiest he'd been in a long time.

"Hah, yeah man, that's the name…" Irvine laughed, the shock of seeing his friend turning into delight. "Where are you? What've you been doing?"

Getting his excitement under control, Zell grinned again, not noticing how easily the words were coming to him. He had always thought he would never know what to say to someone who he hadn't seen in nearly a decade…but the words just came. _Just don't over-think it! He's waiting! _"I'm in this world called Olympia. I work as a caretaker for this little guy with hooves. Hooves. Seriously. My SeeD training got me nowhere, am I right?"

"A caretaker? Well, it's better than being unemployed, I guess…" Irvine shrugged at him, grinning at the mental image of Zell with a broomstick. _His room was the messiest out of all ours…_ "Me and Rinoa got this place on this island—"

"—Rinoa's there too?!" Blue eyes got wider as the conclusion he had made earlier came true and smacked him hard in the forehead. _Rinoa…she's…she's alive……and that means that Squall's kicking too!! _And while that last functioning part of his brain was about to point out that his conclusion still might not be accurate because there was still the possibility that she was like Quistis, Zell shut it up again and just kept talking. Because he thought that if he stopped talking, all of this would stop too and he didn't want that because he hadn't felt this good in ages."Woah! Why didn't you say that earlier?! How is she? Good? Still with the whole sorcery stuff?"

"Yeah, she's fine. Better than fine, actually. She's got some wicked powers, you know? Well, me and her are tag-teaming it. I managed to hold onto Exeter and she's been cooking up some ammo for me. We're getting rid of the Shadow problem in this world. You doing any heroics, Dincht?"

Zell nodded quickly. "Behind the scenes of course!"

…_Zell…this is…absolutely wonderful… _Tifa couldn't help the smile that came on her face, just from watching him. They were having a conversation now, Irvine and Zell, as if the past seven years hadn't happened, and they were laughing and catching up and she was sure that Zell hadn't been this happy in a long time. The anxiety she felt before she saw Yuffie's smiling face was replaced with pride for her friend. _Oh, Yuffie…look what you've done…against the odds, you've brought back a piece for them. For Leon. Bringing back something so precious…that hope…that beautiful feeling…because they can still have both… _

There was a pang of sadness that hit her then and it almost made her cry. Because she was the one who couldn't remember…just like Aerith and Cloud and she wouldn't be able to experience 'both', would she? _…and neither can Yuffie… _Tifa wasn't paying attention to the conversation anymore when that thought of Yuffie came to her and made her heart squeeze. _…and all the things she's been through…and she can't get both…because we can't give it to her…_

She sighed at her inadequacy, at her inability to bring that part back for Yuffie because what kind of friend does that…? …but when she looked back at Zell, she felt the smile come back. _…but at least she's helping someone else…she's doing something because she remembers too and she knows what it's like… _Tifa took a deep breath, trying to push all the heavy thoughts out of her head. _You've done good, Yuffie…because you're smiling again…And that's something good, isn't it?_

"—Now come on, Zell. Don't be rude. Who's that pretty little thing next to you? She one of Yuffie's friends?"

At the sound of her inclusion in their conversation, Tifa focused again and found Zell smiling at her. "This is Tifa. And Irvine, you don't got a chance in Hell with her…" The comment was meant for Irvine even though he was still looking at her. "Anyway, I think Yuffie's getting bored. Wanna talk with her now? She seems to be in a good mood, dontcha think?"

She was about to swivel her chair closer to the microphone and the screen when the familiar hydraulic hiss noise came into the room. Both her and Zell turned to the entranceway to see Aerith and Quistis standing there.

"Tifa? Is it Yuffie?" Aerith blurted out quickly, getting to the point. _We heard the commotion…_ "Is she okay? How about Leon?" She had her hands clasped over her chest, words coming out fast, as she took a few tentative steps towards the pair. The news had gone around to all the members since the last call in and everyone was worried. _Please, let her be okay…_

Tifa blinked before stuttering out her response, not expecting the sheer speed of Aerith's questions. "Y—Yeah. Yeah, it's her. She's…she's okay! And…And Leon is…he's good."

Aerith smiled widely and all the worry was erased on her face. "Oh! Oh good! That's wonderful!" At the good news, she began to walk towards the computers, grabbing her roommate's arm and pulling her along.

Tifa turned back to the computer, about to get her questions out to Yuffie, when she caught Zell's expression in her peripherals. _…why are you so…upset…? _She turned slightly to him, to see him just staring at Quistis with such a crest-fallen look on his face. _…Zell? _It took her a moment and her smile was immediately dropped when it came to her. _…Oh…Zell……back to reality, huh…? _There was a sad, sarcastic edge in her thoughts and Tifa wished that it never came.

_Because Squall remembered…and Irvine and Rinoa seem to know too……but…even though that's what you had been waiting for, that's the happiness that you haven't had in a while, it's not like you can forget about…her…even though she wouldn't understand any of this… _The pair were nearing the computers and Tifa could only sigh when Zell finally looked away from Qusitis. _…Oh, Zell……but she's still something, isn't she? You still had something all this time…a piece, even if she didn't know…that hope…that the others were alive…because she was there, wasn't she? That's better than nothing, right…?_

Before her thoughts could contradict her, Zell seemed to change, and a tiny smile came to his face as both Aerith and Quistis came into the camera's line of sight, each with their eyes wide. "Hey, Quistis…?" He put a hand on her shoulder and made a motion to the cowboy she was staring at. She had been about to ask, he could tell, so he just bet her to the punch. "…That guy…that you're looking at…that's another friend of ours…" Zell spoke softly, trying to keep his sadness out of his voice, as he introduced the two of them to each other. "…That's Irvine Kinneas. Irvine, I'm sure you know Quistis…"

"Another friend…?" Quistis spoke softly as well, her forehead crinkling in confusion. She felt a strange weight in her stomach and at the same time, a hollow feeling in her head. But she knew it wasn't from the lack of sleep. _…who…? _She blinked again, an odd feeling that she couldn't name coming over her when she couldn't recognize the face. She just couldn't place it. But she could have sworn that she had seen him before… It took her a second to realize that she was still staring and how rude that was and she quickly snapped herself out of it. "N—Nice to meet you!"

At her abrupt greeting, Irvine gave her a tiny wave and a smile. "Nice to meet you, too, beautiful." He contained his chuckle when Quistis blushed and blinked in confusion at his upfront compliment. _Damn, Instructor…you haven't aged either, huh? _The cowboy swallowed a lump in his throat at the seriousness of that visual. Because he had seen the frown on her face when she was introduced to him…and he was a stranger to her. _…she don't remember a thing… …and Zell…you've been…Shit, man…_

They exchanged pleasantries quickly and Irvine tried hard to keep his smile. Because while he remembered her, her face and her title…there wasn't much else in terms of Quistis' life story in his head. _…Dammit…I'm no better at this than she is… _He shrugged at the disappointment, at that empty feeling that he _knew _should be filled with memories…because he was done feeling sorry for himself for not knowing, wasn't he? He had accepted that, right? _Come on, Kinneas…you should be over this by now……all you can do now is hope that Sora, or whatever the hell his name is, gets the job done and something good can come out of all of this… _

As his two friends waved goodbye to one another, Zell tightened his grip on Quistis' shoulder. _This doesn't mean a thing to her…And maybe…Irvine doesn't remember it all…but at least it's something, right? _As much as he wanted to shut that part of himself up, because he was sick of it...because having just _that _wasn't good enough and he knew it, Zell couldn't bring himself to silence his optimistic side. Because that's what has been getting him through all of this, wasn't it?

He couldn't deny that he was happy that Irvine and Rinoa were alive. He was happy that Quistis was alive and he had gotten to be with her for all these years…but he would be fooling himself if he told his mind that it was the same. _…but I still got something…I know that it's not the same, but it's something, dammit…because I could have been alone…because I could have had no clue that the others were even alive……and that piece of knowledge…it's still something…It has to be…_

And Zell figured, if he kept telling himself that, he could believe it on those days where it just wasn't good enough. Because that's what has been getting him through all of this, wasn't it? _…and there was something good…something good came out of all of this…and it's not over yet…_

There was a quick goodbye between the two males, a promise of meeting up later, before Zell moved himself and Quistis out of Tifa's way. "...The microphone's all yours." He motioned to the appliance in front of the dark-haired fighter. "…I think Yuffie was about to explode from being so quiet through all of that…"

And while Tifa smiled at his little joke and was admiring his strength through all of that, she felt that sadness come back to her and she couldn't bring herself to laugh. _…but that's still something, isn't it, Zell? _She wanted to get angry at him, to throw it back in his face, saying that it wasn't good enough to be half-full because she was still half-empty, but she couldn't bring herself to make a sound. Because thinking like that was important in times like these, wasn't it?

_What would be worse? Being alone…in the physical sense…? Like Leon…? Or in the other sense…like Yuffie…? _She pursed her lips together, not liking either option, because she had seen both sides of that coin. And how neither side was any good. Tifa took a deep breath and steadied herself before picking up the microphone. _…but he held on…through all of that…to that little piece of his past……because that would be better than nothing…and that's all he could do…_…_because doing nothing and not holding on to that hope…would be the worst thing, wouldn't it? _She felt Aerith's hug coming in from around her shoulders and felt her heat beat normally again. _…because that is something beautiful…_"…Yuffie…You okay?"

"Yup! Man, I never thought those drama-queens would be finished!" Yuffie grinned, pointing in Irvine's and Zell's direction after waving to Aerith. "Gods! They were worse than women!"

Tifa smirked back, watching the cowboy become mock-offended. "So…You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah."

"…Good. That's good…" She nodded, smiling at her. _…as if that tear-streaked face never existed…_ Tifa paused, debating whether or not to ask the question she had, but because Yuffie was smiling, she did. "...Where's Leon?"

"Well, Squall's just outside fixing the Ship…he's almost done. I basically wanted to tell you guys to be expecting us soon. We're on our way!"

* * *

A breeze blew around them, messing up her hair and his concentration. Squall looked over to Rinoa to see her shorter dark hair move around her head haphazardly. The conversation that had continued between them as he fixed the Ship had been comforting; stories full of good times and good moments. But as he got closer and closer to finishing, their tones got softer until their words could not cover up the impending departure. Instead, she sat there quietly and watched him work.

He was just a few turns away from completely securing the functioning engine to the wing, but he paused to look at her. _…Rinoa… _A part of him was itching to ruin the moment for him, to tell him that this could very well be the last time he sees her like _this_, but Squall would not allow it. Steel-blue eyes met brown and he quickly burned the image of her in his mind. _…if this is it…I'll cherish this…I've said all that I've needed to say…and so has she… _She had taken a seat on the grass at his feet and the way the sun was shining on her features…He smiled at her. "…You weren't kidding when you said you weren't going to move, were you?"

To that, she smiled back and shook her head. "Nope! Of course not! Why move when I am getting a front row seat at watching your arms work?" Rinoa's grin furthered and she giggled. "Besides, by the way you were slowing down, I'd guess that you were almost finished anyway so I just stayed put…"

He gave her a tiny smile and watched her stand, stretch lazily and brush the grass from her clothes. "So…" She began, looking at him expectedly before bringing her eyes to the Ship, "…am I right? About being done?"

Squall nodded. "Almost." And without another thought, he took a deep breath, moved his eyes from hers and went back to the engine. _…just one more turn…and then, I'll be going, won't I? _The idea was not pleasing to him, but he had been through this: it was the right choice. _…and I'll be back, anyway…I will… _The wrench felt extremely heavy in his hands, the noise of it too loud and too high pitched, but the final bolt was finally tightened into place.

And that was it. It was done. Squall exhaled slowly, trying to get all the nerves out of his system. _…and I still have right now, don't I?_

When he looked back to her, he noticed that the smile that had been on Rinoa's face was gone. _I know you have to go…but……I finally got my wish granted and…and now…_ "…Done?" She asked sadly, mouth trying to move back into a smile but failing.

He nodded again. "Done." Taking a step towards her, Rinoa immediately linked fingers with his, and put her body close to his arm. Together, they moved quietly to the toolkit on the ground, bending in unison and neither letting go of the other when they stood back up again, with toolkit closed and in his other hand.

…_I want to be with you…I want to stay like this all the time…now that we've found each other…but…you have to go…and I know that…but… _She sighed softly as they walked back to the entranceway of the Ship, towards where the group of Powhatans were waiting to see them off. "…You'll be leaving now, right…?"

Squall nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He felt her squeeze his fingertips again and he squeezed back. _…Oh, Squall…_Rinoa took in a sharp breath, trying not to cry, trying to bring the conversation around the issue that she wanted to avoid. Her mind scattered, desperately piecing words together to get her thoughts off his…exit from her life again. "Well…I—I…uh…Before you go, I—I just wanted to say sorry, because I think I ruined your face-paint…"

He blinked slowly at her for a second, watching the sunlight hit her face in that way again, before realizing her words and what she meant. _…Oh…her lips… _Another tiny smile came her way when he saw that her lips were smeared with red. "…I like that colour on you."

A grin broke out on her face, amidst her watery eyes, and Rinoa let out a quiet sob. _Oh…Squall…I'll miss you…so much…_ "I'll—I'll be sure to remember to wear it…when you come back…" The last part made her heart squeeze and she squeezed his hand again. _…but you will be back…I know it…Because you promised, didn't you…? _As much as she didn't want to let go, her hand relaxed around his at the new thought. _…because something good will come of this…_

There was a stare exchanged between them, another silent promise passing through, and it was Squall this time who squeezed her fingers. There was a silence as they neared the group of natives, still standing close together, and it was then when Chief Wahunsenacawh found his opportunity. In a quick side glance, breaking the stare for a second, Squall saw the Chief coming towards them and bowed in respect, pulling Rinoa down with him. "Chief Wahunsenacawh…"

"My apologies for interruption, Tocho qu Matoo a Tibik-kizis." Pocahontas' father smiled widely at the use of his new, given name, before bowing back. "Or would you prefer one of your other names instead…?"

Squall caught Rinoa's gaze a second before he answered him. And it was so familiar, _that_ look, because it was the one that made his heart pound and swell and didn't let him think his words through. But, that was okay for once. Because she was here, wasn't she? And that was very important to him. "…'Squall' is fine." He spoke quietly and quickly squared his shoulders again. "Is there a problem, Chief Wahunsenacawh?"

"Not at all, my brother." The Chief shook his head. "My people and I were merely curious. Is your giant bird in working order?"

Squall absentmindedly tightened his grip on the toolkit and on Rinoa's fingers. "Yes. We're ready." Almost on cue, another heavy gust of wind came, pushing his eyes to look towards the Ship. All the sound seemed to dim as he stared at the mechanical beast that would take him away. _…I'll be leaving soon… _He couldn't feel the wind anymore, could barely feel her body at his side and a part of him wondered if this was even real. Because every other part of this journey had been surreal, hadn't it?

…_but this isn't a dream…you know that…_He closed his eyes and inhaled slowly. _…because your dreams were never this sweet, were they? _He heard the entranceway door open before he saw it and when Irvine's figure came into his view, stepping out with a large canvas bag in tow, all the sound returned. _…Irvine… _He watched as the cowboy waved goodbye to Yuffie, who was standing at the door, and watched as he waved to them. It took every muscle in his body to make him wave back. _…Goodbye…this is goodbye, isn't it? _

Because he would be going soon, wouldn't he? _Right now, actually…_ His eyes locked with Yuffie's for a second as she said her goodbyes to Pocahontas and Nakoma, but he looked away quickly, eyes back on the ground. As much as he wanted to avoid it, he was leaving soon. Very soon. He was going to leave them again… he was going to leave her and Irvine and…He was going to leave Rinoa all over again and that realization made his heart beat faster and it made his hands clammy and it made him doubt his decision because wasn't _this_ what he had wanted…?_ ……but you'll be back…you will. Because you don't make the same mistake twice…_

His jaw tightened and he closed his eyes as the sounds of the Ship coming to life echoed in his head. _Calm down…You'll be back…and she can take care of herself… _As much as he wanted to listen to that new, rational part of him, because that was truth, there was still another part wanting time to remain frozen, just for it to stop, so that he could say here and hold her and not miss out on anything in Hollow Bastion and get what he wanted. Because he wanted both, didn't he? And he didn't want to leave her…but he didn't want to leave his responsibilities behind either… _…but you know…that Time won't stop…Time will always move forward…and so do you…_

Squall let out a shaky breath and felt Rinoa's reassuring squeeze on his fingers. The tug-of-war kept going in his head, talking about Sora and how _this _wouldn't be the same and that just seeing her now wasn't good enough and asking why he couldn't he be the selfish one for once? And why couldn't he just stay behind to get that sad smile off Rinoa's face? And why did he have to compromise? And even when he stopped the questions, forcing that voice out again, it took him a second to see and feel the Chief's hand on his shoulder, "—My brother…"

Squall's eyes snapped open, looking forward and straight into the older man's eyes. "Fear not." He whispered, his voice just barely coming out over the roar of the engines that were warming up, a smile coming to his face again. _…for even the strongest of warriors require something to fight for… _"We shall take care of her until you choose to return. It is another way to thank you for all that you've done."

He felt her squeeze again, felt her heart pound against his arm, felt his own pulse through him, reminding him of his present, _this_ life, _this _gift, and he nodded back at the Chief. "T—Thank you."

"—SQUALL!" Every head in the general vicinity looked up as Yuffie's voice pounded from the speakers. And every head in that area could see her in the cockpit, waving goodbye to them all, with the sadness on her face. "Come on, slowpoke! We—We gotta go now!"

The turbines for takeoff were spinning now, pushing more wind around and making most of the Powhatans take a step back in awe. Squall, however, kept his eyes on Yuffie and nodded to her.

…_Squall…you're…leaving… _Seeing his decision in his eyes, Rinoa squeezed his hand again, knowing that this was it, committing that feeling to memory and that was all the warning he got before she brought herself flush against him in a hug.

Immediately, his arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly, resting his head on top of hers, giving her the last bit of his time before he stepped onto the Ship. "S—Squall…" Rinoa whispered against his chest, keeping her sobs out of her voice. Her mind was blank, jolted harshly into the reality that he was leaving at the sounds of the engines. _…my Knight… _"…I'll miss you…I will…A lot…"

Over the engines, Squall could barely hear himself mumble back the only thing he could think of. "I'll be back…I promise. Now that…I know where you are…"

He felt her nod against him. "I—I know…" _…but I just don't want you to go… _And as much as Rinoa's mind screamed to hold on and never let go and force him to stay, the rational part of her mind reluctantly made her arms relax, ending the body contact…but committing it to memory. _Oh, Squall…_ "S—So, you better come back soon…" Rinoa wagged her finger at him, wiping her tears with the back of her other hand. _…but you have something important to do…you're helping the one shot everyone has……and I can't keep you here knowing that… _"But—But you better kick some butt out there for me, okay? Promise me that too!"

Squall nodded at her, unable to do much else, feeling his lips shake and trying to keep his eyes from watering. He knew that this was the end of this adventure, that the conversation was over and he really shouldn't keep Yuffie waiting any longer…but his feet wouldn't move. He just kept staring at her, watching the sun highlight her face and even though he wished for time to stop and to stay frozen and to stay right where it was right now…he knew it was a foolish dream. _…because you have to move forward…_ _and you'll be back soon… _

And kept telling himself that, to reassure his anxiety, to finally bring himself over this, because he wouldn't be gone long. He would be back. That was truth. He promised. And he couldn't refuse her. …And she would be just fine. _…Rinoa…please, be safe… _

At his exhale, Rinoa nodded to him, letting go of his hands before stepping out of his way and moving back towards Irvine. Even though the tingles in his hand faded, they kept their eyes on each other the whole time; when she walked away and when he began his slow gait to the Ship.

Squall could barely feel the grass that tickled his legs or hear the sounds of it being crushed under his feet or even the clanks of the metal steps. He felt strangely weightless and wasn't even aware that he had entered the Ship until the routine in him made his fingers punch in the code to close the door. The lush green and yellow and brown landscape got smaller and smaller as the door slid shut, as the steps folded up, narrowing his view…but he wasn't looking at that. All he could focus on was the fleeting image of the blue and the black of her.

Because that was important to him, wasn't it? And that was a beautiful thing, wasn't it?

The silver walls surrounded him suddenly and Squall had to take a deep breath to steady himself. _…you'll be back…to see her…this is not goodbye…and…and even if it is…at least you got this. At least you got _this_. …Because not everyone can get this kind of luck, can they? _Zell and Quistis came to his mind and he exhaled the tightness in his chest at that thought. …_not everyone can experience this kind of hope…_ Slowly, he turned, moving towards the cockpit without another word. Even though his mind was made up and calm and ready for this next part, this was going to be hard, wasn't it?

He focused on his breathing, resisting the urge to run back the other way, and when he arrived at the entrance of the cockpit, it took him a second to realize where he was. Squall could see the lush landscape circling them through the dome and he knew that all he had to do was close his eyes and he'd be _there_…but he focused, instead, on Yuffie's form in front of him. _…because she deserves that too… _Because she was important to him, too.

She was standing in the middle of the room with a sad smile on her face. Her hands hung limply at her sides and Squall could tell, from the blinking lights behind her, that they were ready. All systems go. Prepare for take-off and strap in. …This was going to be the hard part, wasn't it? "…Yuffie…?" Squall wasn't aware he had spoken until he heard his voice echo.

"Come on, Squall…" Yuffie mumbled, ignoring him. _There's no point in drawing this out anymore…It'll hurt less if we leave faster…right? _And even though another part of her, the part that was screaming success at the plan, the part that wanted him to get what he really wanted, was telling her to give him a few more minutes and asking her how she could be so creul, she refused to listen. _…because if he wanted more time…he wouldn't be here, would he…? …I think he's ready now… _A brave smile came to her face as the last words in her head hit her. "…You ready?"

To her relief, he nodded at her. To her relief, he didn't correct her either. "…Y—Yeah." He sighed. She watched him move to his seat, the very one that he had the waking possession in, and watched him make a motion with his hand over his eyes. At her position near her chair, she couldn't satisfy her curiosity as to whether or not he was…crying.

"O—Okay…" Yuffie hopped back into the driver's chair and flicked all remaining switches and pushed all remaining buttons necessary for take-off. "Strap in!" The engine noise began to climb, a whistling sound, as the turbines began to spin faster. _…it's okay, Squall…you'll be back…and I'll be sure to bring you over… _She felt the envelope in her back pocket and she smiled a little bit. …_You can count on that… _Looking over the control panel and out through the dome, Yuffie watched everyone take giant steps back.

And she felt her heart swell when she noticed that Irvine and Rinoa were still waving goodbye with both arms above their heads. She turned her head slightly and managed to catch Squall giving them another tiny wave back. …_I think he's ready now…_

The Ship began its slow rise towards the clouds. No longer looking at the people on the ground, Yuffie quickly put in their destination coordinates to Hollow Bastion. _…see you all soon…You can bet on that! _She felt the corners of her lips tug upwards as the Powhatans got smaller and smaller and smaller and the sky went from blue to white to black.

* * *

Hey guys! Obviously, as you can tell, this chapter was insanely hard to write. It took me so freaking long to figure out a proper way of ending the Zell-Quistis-Tifa scenario....And, I had originally thought of making it lighter and funnier…but…it just ended up being really bittersweet.

But I promise, the next opening will be hilarious! :D Or, at least, hilarious in my books.

PLEASE REVIEW


	32. Chapter Thirty Two

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!): **Glad to see that you guys have stuck around. That makes me feel special. ^^

* * *

When he knew that he could, Squall quickly unbuckled the harness around his shoulders and torso that was necessary for take-off. The mechanical click seemed too loud in the cockpit and that action had taken him longer than it usually did because his hands were shaking. _Just…calm down… _He tried to close his eyes and take a deep breath but when his eyelids slid down, all he could see against the grey was the blue and the black of _her_.

And the fact that he was officially thousands upon thousands of kilometres above her new world, amongst the dark void of outer space, made his chest get tight because he was gone. And even though he was going to go back soon, right now, he was gone. Away from the arms and the comfort of the woman he loved. Gone. Because he had made this choice, of leaving her alone again, of leaving all of that behind…and wasn't that a contradiction to what his dreams had always said he wanted? _…No. Stop it. You wanted this part too…you can't deny that either…because Yuffie and Sora and everyone else are important too. And you can't forget everything that they've done for you…and all of those moments that you have with them…_

In an effort to keep his hands still, Squall reached for the armrests on his chair and tightened his grip. He set his teeth, trying to push out those thoughts and focused on his breathing. _Deep inhalation…Relax……You've done…the right thing. You've said everything that you needed to… And she'll be fine…She can take care of herself… _And he figured, if he put as much truth in those words as he could, they would be enough to hold onto in between his visits, during his doubt and his fear and his uncertainty. _…because little things like that…will get you through this…And you will be fine…finally…_

Because he was one of the lucky ones, wasn't he? And even though it had taken all of _this _for him to understand that, Squall could finally nod his head to that statement. _…because not many people can have both……Not many people know where or how…but you know where she is…and how she is…And even if it was for one night…that's still something, isn't it? _A part of him was about to interject, to tell him that it wasn't enough and that it would never be the same and he could never get it back, but Squall held onto his thoughts firmly. _…because you…are lucky enough…to get both…even before the ending…_

…_Rinoa…I'll be back soon…I promise… _His eyes drifted shut and amidst the image of Rinoa waving with both hands over her head and the image of Yuffie smiling and laughing so hard she cried, a part of him wondered when the last time he had gotten any decent sleep had been. Squall sighed aloud, opening his heavy eyelids, not being able to remember the last time he felt this tired was. _You can sleep when you get back to Hollow Bastion…_ He let his shoulders relax and he leaned back in his chair, looking up through the top of the dome and watching the stationary stars become shooting ones.

And this time, when he closed his eyes, he allowed himself to think back to that night on the balcony. No pain, no heartache, no regret, no guilt because he had said everything that he needed to. And he watched as she smiled at him, raising her arm to point to the shooting star. And even though he didn't believe in that kind of nonsense, and even though he knew that shooting stars have no magical powers…he took a deep breath and made a wish anyway. _……I just want…after all of this…for everyone's memories to return to them…so then…no one would have to be alone…_

Because it couldn't hurt, could it? And at times like these ones, he figured that they would need all the hope they could get.

He sighed, watching the memory get blurred, as his ears picked up the sound of another chair squeaking and turning on its hinge. There was a tiny smile on his face as Squall turned his head in Yuffie's direction. _…because everyone deserves to have at least that… _His grip on the armrests lessened and the two stared at one another for a second before Yuffie broke the silence.

"Well, I'm glad you're up…" She beamed, sitting with her knees under her chin and her arms wrapped around her legs. There was another pause and Yuffie watched as Squall's eyes look over the driver's Control Panel with interest. She should have bet on it, because she knew it was coming before she saw a slight frown on his features. _Typical Squall… _She held up a hand, stopping him before his mouth could open. "—Don't worry. We're on Warp Drive. Auto-Pilot to Hollow Bastion. So don't bother with your 'Pay attention when you're driving' speech…"

She watched him turn his head back to its previous position, looking up through the dome, and she could have sworn Squall had brought back that sort of-kind of smile that he usually reserved for moments when he allowed himself to remember without guilt. _And now…I'm sure…that he can watch the movie play in his head easier now…_

…_Yuffie… _It took him a while to form the words, because his mind was still slow because it still couldn't believe everything that had happened. It still couldn't believe that on a whim Yuffie had pulled a plan together and brought him something he had thought he would never deserve to see…And it still couldn't believe how wrong he had been all this time. "…Am I that predictable…?"

"Like you wouldn't believe!" Yuffie threw her hands upwards in a dramatic fashion before bringing them back around her legs. _…Squall…_ She couldn't be sure, but she could have sworn that he had chuckled at that. _…something good has happened… _"…Woah! Smiling _and _laughing coming out of _you_? What is this world coming to?!"

And even though she couldn't really believe it, she could have sworn that she had noticed a…calm…in his eyes that he never had before. Something better than his poker-face…better than that lie. And that just made her a little bit happier, because that meant that the plan actually worked, didn't it? _…he's finally…come to terms with all of that…_

He turned back to face her with a cocked eyebrow. _…because Yuffie is important too…_ "Is that a problem for you?"

"Nope! Not at all!" She answered quickly, not wanting him to revert back because she had gone through too much to lose this new face. Grinning from ear to ear, she pointed to the face. "I actually like that look on you! You know, with you actually using your face muscles and not having that ugly scowl…It really brings out your eyes."

Squall gave her another tiny smile as her sort of compliment sunk in. "…I'm sure it does."

"I mean it!" She giggled, hugging her legs a little tighter. "You look better than you usually do!" There was another pause after the short laughter between the two of them before Yuffie decided to speak again. "…So…"

"So…?" Squall repeated, his voice echoing off the walls. He wasn't paying much attention to what was going on, and even though he knew that he should be, he was too focused on his heartbeat. He wasn't sure why, because there were a lot of other things he could have been focusing on, but he just kept listening to it. That consistent sound. That one that had always told him that he was alive even if he didn't really feel that way. _…and I was too……upset…to realize…how special…all of this was…how important…_

It was pounding away steadily, completing its simple, precise routine over and over and over again…but there was something different. Something that was familiar. Something that he hadn't felt in a long time and that was probably why he couldn't name it…but he could feel it. And all he knew was that it was something good… _…because Yuffie gave a damn…about me…and she…she…even if she can't get hers…_

Yuffie took a deep breath, formulating the words in her mind because she really had to be sure. Really, really sure. Because he was still quiet and was still _thinking _too damn much and besides, hadn't she been the one who usually hid behind smiles and laughs? _…because a laugh and a smile don't always mean good things, do they? …and I'm one to talk, aren't I? _"…So, are you…?" She made a motion with her hand, indicating his form, as her voice trailed off. "…Better, I mean?"

He blinked at her slowly, her words taking a lot longer than they usually did to get into his head. Squall turned his head back up to centre, looking at the stars again, before his answer came to him. It was almost automatic; his mouth was about to respond with his routine answer because he never gave a second thought to lying about it but now…but now…he paused. And everything stopped because…because…He wasn't sure, was he? Even though everything about his life had always been certain and systematic, after all of _that_, was he really better? One hundred percent? No doubt? His eyes moved back to her and it took him another long moment before he spoke.

Because after everything that had happened, things like that weren't so definitive, were they? And even though he didn't like that, didn't like the fact that he couldn't put a word or a statement to what he could feel, it was…okay. Because he could deal with that. Because he got both, right? And not many people were fortunate enough to get that, were they? _…so…where does that put me…?_ "…I think…" He frowned slightly, trying to pick his words, "…I think so…"

Because the feeling that he couldn't name was something good, wasn't it? And all of this…something good came out of this too, right?

Even though he wasn't sure of himself, something he never thought would happen, what he had said had been the right answer because Yuffie was all smiles again. He guessed he should have seen it coming, but he was a little surprised when she jumped out of her chair suddenly, clapped her hands in front of her chest and made a victory pose. "ALL RIGHT!! Score one for the Incredible Ninja Yuffie!! The best damn ninja that Hollow Bastion has ever seen!!"

And at her victory dance, the movements she usually saved for the end of a big battle, Squall smiled a little wider. _…because I have been quite the battle for her, haven't I…? And she…deserves this…all of this… _

Once she had finished the last mandatory cartwheel, Yuffie was beaming. Pointing a finger at him, she called out in her loudest voice. "So no more ugly faces from 'Man Who Talks Little but Frowns Lots' right?" At his raised eyebrow, she smiled and explained, moving back to her chair. "That was the name Pocahontas was initially going to call you…she had it translated and everything. But, being the greatest ninja on the planet, I convinced her and persuaded her to change it into that Tocho—whatever one. To, you know, spare you that embarrassment in front of your _girlfriend_…"

Squall blinked slowly at her, picking up on the emphasis on that word. He was certain now that the atmosphere in the room was going to change very quickly. "…what?"

To his horror, her smile widened and there was a glint in her eyes. _Oh Squall…just one more story!_ "Don't play dumb with me, Squall! You were there for a whole night! And you _are _the one with the messed up face-paint and the one with the missing jacket!"

"What…?" He repeated, even though, unfortunately, he was one hundred percent certain as to where this was going. _…she can't…possibly… _It was then that he remembered that he had left his jacket on Rinoa's chair, next to the two spools of thread and the three different kinds of needles, and that the red paint on his lips was smeared and he knew exactly what that could imply to the one who brought all of that up. _…Oh, Hyne…_

"—You two had _sex_, didn't you?!" An accusatory finger was pointed in his direction again and it took him everything not to let his jaw drop. _Oh…Hyne…_ Even though he knew it was coming, he wasn't expecting it to come out like _that_. Squall stared at Yuffie's wide smile, his mind drawing a blank for words he could use to defend himself. "HA! Your silence is all the confirmation I need!"

To his amazement, he found his voice after that. However, there was another delay as Squall could not decide on which course of action he could take because he couldn't decide which one would be worse: telling her the truth or just lying about the whole thing. _Hyne…_ "Y—Yuffie, that's not—"

"—Oh Squall, it's okay! No need to lie! I'm so proud of you!" She waved off his expression as she interrupted him, her mouth rambling on in a way that was familiar to the both of them. "It's perfectly normal for growing boys like yourself…Besides, me and Tifa were getting worried about you! You hadn't had a date in _years_. Hell, we were tempted to set you up with Cloud just to see what would happen! He's another one—!"

"—Yuffie, no. I'm—"

"—Would you happen to know about him? He hasn't had a date in years too…and his practically non-affectionate relationship with Aerith is something to be concerned about. I mean, they were in _love _before all of this happened…Strange, huh? Would you happen to know anything? You two sure have a lot in common and I'm sure you talk because your rooms are right next to one another, right? And you seem to be the only one he can really connect to—"

"—Yuffie. Stop—"

If she heard the tone in his voice, the one that usually made her quiet, she made no indication of it. "—Anyway, I'm sure you two had a _magical _evening. With the shocking reunion, the realization of all the nights lost… I may be a romantic, but was it just like the movies? Did you get her flowers? Or did you two just get right down to it?! Ha! Even with Irvine there! Man, Squall, I didn't know that part of you existed! Then again, you know what they say about the quiet ones, right?"

Yuffie watched as he blinked several times at her and she felt proud, somewhat, that she had literally made Squall speechless. _…and I think he's blushing a little bit too! Ha! _His mouth opened and closed a few times before she heard his exhale and watched as his calm face returned. Of course, it was all topped off with him leaning back into his chair and with the bridge of his nose being pinched in irritation. "…Yuffie, your language is completely inappropriate. I am not having this conversation with you."

With mock surprise, she continued. _Oh, I am going to have so much fun with this! _"W—What?! Oh, phsst! Don't play the father-figure card now, Squall! I thought we were friends! Friends talk about this kind of stuff! ...Is it because I'm a girl? Is that it? Because, you know, that's totally sexist! Cid talks like that all the time!"

"And Cid is ten years older than you and I don't answer him either. _You_ shouldn't talk like that." Squall exhaled slowly again, pleased that the topic had changed slightly. Instead of adding to the fire, he switched the conversation to a reprimanding. But he knew that it was still a long ride back to Hollow Bastion and Yuffie still had that glint in her eyes and that smile on her face and he _knew _she wasn't done yet. Because he had done something terrible to her and she deserved a little payback.

And besides, she was smiling in a way that he hadn't seen her do in a while.

And that was something good, wasn't it?

* * *

He wasn't entirely sure if he was surprised to see everyone in the garage, ready to meet them. Squall was expecting something, seeing how Yuffie and him had been gone for so long, but he was hoping that he could just retire to his room and skip this part because Yuffie had kept talking about…things he didn't want to talk about…and he couldn't remember when the last time he had any decent sleep was.

Squall supposed he was all out of luck because the second the doors from the Ship opened, Tifa, Aerith, Zell and Cid had practically rushed at them. "YOU'RE BACK!"

He had to blink at the fluorescent lighting and at all the sounds and he struggled to keep up with the words and the motions of his friends because everything was a blur. They were all talking at once, asking questions, and even though he couldn't exactly understand any of them, Squall felt his mouth twitch upwards at their enthusiasm. Because they had welcomed him with open arms, hadn't they?

And after everything that he had done, that was something good, wasn't it?

At some point, he felt Tifa hug him tightly, or maybe it was Aerith, exclaiming how worried she had been and that if he ever tried something like that again, she'd kill him. "I mean it Leonhart! I'll do it in your sleep!" He wasn't sure what he could say to that, and didn't get the chance to say anything because the blur ended the hug quickly and moved onto Yuffie, who was currently telling the entire world the wonders of Zell's Navigation Block.

"—I tell you, it's the greatest thing! We went to this native world and these guys were amazing! We got bags of stuff from them! They're in the back! I'll get them later! They were so nice and they can totally kick ass! You should have been there when the Heartless tried to attack—!"

Squall tried to focus on Yuffie's words, to include himself in that story because, yes, he was there too, but when he felt Zell pat his back, his attention turned fully to him. _…Zell… _Because he had almost forgotten the fact that they had been here, waiting on him. Because people don't just vanish, do they? _Zell…Hyne… _Before he could open his mouth to him, to begin the next part in his redemption to his friends, Zell bet him to the punch.

"Squall! Man! Feelin' any better?" He was grinning, eyes never leaving his face, his voice picking up where Yuffie's left off. "Looks like you guys went to a party without me. Nice face."

Yuffie whirled around to the two of them, pausing herself mid-story to answer Zell with another. "Yeah! This face-paint was a ceremony to congratulate us on how awesome we are! I'm the Sparrow of Suns! And he's the Lion Who Cries at the Moon! It was intense!" And as if the tattooed martial artist said nothing, Yuffie spun back to Aerith and Tifa and finished the story she had been interrupted from. She was talking fast again, rambling, and Squall was somewhat pleased at the fact that he couldn't keep up. _...because...she's back to normal, isn't she? _

"Huh. Great. Now I got two ink-faces." Cid came towards them next, breaking Squall's thoughts, hands motioning to each of their faces. "You guys are killing my nicknames here."

Zell turned to the older blonde. "I thought you called Squall 'sunshine'."

"Only on good days. And until he washes that stuff off his face, I'll have to call him ink-face like you, Dincht." Cid gave Squall a nod and dark-haired man knew that his banter was his way of saying welcome back. "Now, I don't know about you, but all this girl-babble is making my head hurt."

At those words, the three women who were talking excitedly, stopped at the same time and called out to him together. "No one is asking you to stay, Cid."

"Well, when you put it that way, I'll be going then. I'm thinking the porch oughta do it. I'll get us some…refreshments."

Squall felt himself nod at Cid's idea, his tired state unable to form words at the moment or keep sentences in his head. And with his mind so quiet, the noise was such a distraction and he couldn't keep up but before he knew it, his feet were being pulled along by Zell's voice towards the front porch. Zell was talking loudly, as he usually did when he was excited, about all the interesting things that had happened when he had been gone.

"—You should have seen me and Quistis! We had about twenty Heartless around us and we just totally tag-teamed it! I've never seen her like that since she woke up! She was completely in the zone, you know? She had this whip, with like, nine projections coming off it, and she just killed it! Blew me out of the water! And I didn't think I would ever see her like that again, you know? …Oh! And that's not to say that I wasn't amazing myself…"

"Y—You did patrols...?" Squall was amazed with himself that he had managed to pick up that piece of information and ask about it. Everything inside him seemed to be moving so slowly and that wasn't acceptable with the amount of excitement going on around him. _...Hyne...Focus..._

"Yeah, man! Since you and Yuffie left, me and Quistis took your positions. Kinda sucks that there's no pay in this business, but this one lady was really greatful that we took care of her 'pest' problem so she made us lunch!" Zell kept talking, not noticing that Squall was having a hard time keeping up. "Gotta say though, Tifa and Aerith were cool to work with...but Cloud's kinda a wet blanket, don't you think?"

"W—What...?"

"Ah, forget it. That's just the way he is, I guess. I'm sure you two are the best of friends because you're so alike. All quiet and weird like that. Well, that's what Tifa tells me. Anyway, right now, Quistis and Cloud are in the Control Room, waiting for the switch and I'm sure they'd like to say hello. Cid can wait on the porch by himself..." And without skipping a beat, Zell punched in his code and the doors swished open. "Hey! Guys! Lookie here!"

It was all going too fast for him; Squall could barely remember the walk over and now he was face to face with Quistis and Cloud. "Mr. Leonhart! Welcome back!" Quistis smiled at him. "How was your vacation?"

For a few moments, Squall hadn't realized that she was talking to him. When her blue eyes kept blinking expectantly at him, he straightened up and answered her. _...Hyne...Quistis..._ "I—It was...good. Good."

She smiled warmly at him and Squall quickly swallowed down the voice in his head that had reappeared at the sound of her familiar, but not-all-there, voice. _...she'll get it back...she will...because something good will come of this...She'll just have to wait a little while longer...and then, she'll be fine...she will... _

"That is good to hear. I'm actually glad you are back so soon. I'm sure Zell has told you how much I don't like doing all-day shifts. Very tiring..." Quistis shook her head with amazement. "I don't know how you people do that."

He gave her a tiny smile, pushing that slight guilt away and focusing on her words. Because she was alive, right? And that counts for something, doesn't it? And he figured that if he put as much truth behind the words in his head, it would happen. Or at least, he could say that he tried. _...Because everyone deserves that hope... even if they don't know that they want it..._ "...We manage."

Cloud spoke then, seeing the conversation coming to a close, in his quiet, to-the-point, tone. "...Welcome back, Leonhart." And as if the universe gave him a test, as if fate was waiting to laugh in his face if he failed, Cloud took out his hand and held it between them. After a quick exhale, Squall nodded and shook Cloud's hand. _...because something good happened there...and I'm here...to fix this..._

"Quistis," Zell motioned to her and tilting his head in the direction of the garage, "Tifa, Aerith and Yuffie are all in the garage...if you want to go and join them, I mean. Yuffie is an excellent story teller."

Before Quistis could respond to that, it was Cid's voice from down the hall that cut her off. "—Hey! Ink-faces! What the hell's keeping ya?!"

"Cool your jets, Cid. We're coming." Zell called back to him. With that dismissal, Cloud nodded to the two of them before returning to the computers and Quistis said a quiet goodbye before walking to the garage. Squall could only blink once and then, he was moving again, his feet being pulled along by Zell's voice, who started telling a story about something that he didn't quite catch.

It felt strange to Squall with all of these unidentifiable feelings rushing through him, all the thoughts that couldn't finish in his head and all the things he couldn't make his mouth say. He wasn't used to being quiet like this. He wasn't used to being...this...hopeful...about anything. He wasn't used to thinking this way, that everything was going to work out, because he knew, probably better than most, that things have a habit of going wrong. That the things that you want, right _now_, make you wait. That the things that you thought you wanted end up being an illusion.

And he knew about all the disappointment and self-hate you would get when it didn't work out. And he knew how scary it was, to wait, to hope and how foolish it would often seem...but even though Squall's heart was pounding, through all this uncertainty, he kept thinking like that.

Because it couldn't hurt, could it? And being the way he was before did him no favours, did it? ...and Yuffie couldn't do it alone, could she?

Squall swallowed thickly on that last thought and took a deep breath. _...Just...relax...focus on right now...you'll have plenty of time to think about that stuff later... _For a second, he hadn't realized that he had stopped moving and that he and Zell had reached their destination. Again, it was Cid's voice that interrupted his pause.

"Yo, Ink-face Number Two! You gonna stand there all night or take a drink and sit your ass down?!"

Squall blinked at Cid's bluntness, but didn't let his surprise show too much. He was used to that, after all. He moved forward and took the bottle Cid was offering out of his hand. "...Thanks."

"You're welcome. From my own, personal, private stash. Don't go telling Yuffie or anything. I don't wanna picture that little tyke drunk out of her mind." Cid said gruffly, taking a swing from his own bottle. "Ah, nothing beats this."

Zell snorted from his place on the porch steps. "And here I thought there wasn't any alcohol in this place."

Squall nodded at the comment, thankful for the light chatter to distract him. "...It's hard to come by." Using his shirt to help his hands twist off the top, the fizzing sound coming from his bottle seemed to echo in the silence between the three of them. He wasn't a fan of Cid's particular choice in...refreshments...but he took a sip anyway and shrugged off the bitter taste.

There was a creak as Cid leaned against the porch's rail. "—So, how'd it go?" He asked suddenly, folding his arms across his chest. "I figure, with all that paint on your face, something interesting must've happened."

Squall paused for a second, looking down and through the circular opening on his bottle, watching the bubbles rise to the surface of the liquid. "...Fine."

He heard Cid snort. "I should have bet money on that answer. Well, either that one or your other typical response of '...Whatever'."

"Hyne, Cid," Zell chuckled at the different tone the older blond man had used for his comment, "that was the worst Squall impersonation ever."

"Hey! Who asked you?!"

"I'm just saying, that's all."

Cid rolled his eyes and leaned back against the rail. There was another sip of his beer before he looked back at Squall. "You mean that? It was fine...? Don't lie to me, boy."

Steel-blue eyes locked on and Squall nodded more confidently. "Yes. I mean it. It was good."

Cid gauged him for a second, scrutinizing his face for the real answer, before relaxing and taking another long swing of his beverage. Squall wasn't expecting another comment, but he got one anyway. "Well, good. 'Bout time someone around here got some good news..."

And there was something there, in Cid's tone that made Squall's heart beat a little faster. Because he was like Yuffie, wasn't he? Surrounded by people who had no idea...surrounded by the fact that he couldn't get it back over and over and over again... _...and it won't be until the end that he'll get his good news...and Zell...and Irvine..._

He found himself leaning against the doorframe, taking another sip of the beer as he tried to keep himself calm. Because he would do this. He would do what he could to make sure that everyone got what they needed. Needed, not wanted, because what people want will always change...but what people _need _never will. Because everyone deserves to know and to understand and to not be alone...Because everyone deserves at least that.

It wasn't long before Cid asked him another question, that sad tone in his voice gone. "So...who's the lucky lady, then?"

Squall blinked a few times, the image of her reappearing at the mere mention of her name and he had to smile just a little bit. His mouth went dry as he pictured her smiling and waving both hands over her head with her blue sleeveless coat flapping at her ankles. _...Rinoa... _And while a part of him wanted to snap at Cid, to tell him it was none of his business and that he should keep private things private, he responded anyway."...Her name is......Rinoa..."

Because all of that thinking had been wrong, hadn't it?

Zell spoke next, turning slightly in his position on the stairs so that he could look at Squall. _I know Irvine told me...but..._ "And she's good too, right?"

He felt himself nod, eyes looking at Zell for a second before turning back to the bubbles in the beer. "...Yeah. She's good." In his peripherals, he saw Cid tilt his head back to finish the last few drops of his beer.

"...Man, there never seems to be enough of this..." He mumbled, staring at his empty bottle. He shook his head at it, shook his head at everything, before looking up at the other two men. "I'm gonna get myself another. You guys want one?" When Zell and Squall both politely declined, Cid shrugged and pushed off the rail, mumbling something about them 'young bloods not being able to hold their liquor' as he went back into the house.

There was a silence between the two friends, each enjoying the still in their minds; Zell was looking up into the sky that was covered with dark clouds and Squall staring at his drink. The blonde frowned a little at the clouds since they were taking up too much space and looked heavy and what he really wanted to look at was the moon and the stars... _...because that kid is doing good...and the stars are coming back..._ "Leave it to mother nature to cut our porch-time in half."

Squall looked up quickly, not expecting any words from Zell. "What?"

Zell turned to face him, using his half-empty bottle to point upwards. "By the looks of those clouds, it's going to rain soon. And, I'm sorry to say, this veranda overhang you got here doesn't look all that sturdy."

To that, the scarred man gave a tiny smile. "That's because it isn't sturdy. Cid and Cloud tried to build it, but then they ran out of supplies halfway through..."

Zell grinned. "And that would explain the tape on that half of the rails, wouldn't it?"

"...Yeah." Almost in time with his response, a roll of thunder boomed above them, making both of their heads look up. Squall didn't even have to count to three before he saw the water hit the cobblestones out in front of them. It was slow at first, but quickly became steady, the sound of the rain falling calming him down a little bit. He wasn't sure where the words came from, but they were out of his mouth before he could think about them. …_because people always seem to leave with it rains, don't they? _ "...You'll be leaving soon, won't you?"

_Huh...? _Zell had been preoccupied with watching the rain that it took him a few seconds to get it and turn around. _...Oh, so now he's telepathic? _He gave the taller man a grin. "Yeah. Soon. ...Probably tomorrow night. Gotta get back to a job that I actually get paid for."

"...Tomorrow night...?" Squall repeated slowly.

"Yeah." Zell nodded at him, turning back to the rain. "You know, so Quistis will fall asleep on the ride over and won't be freaked out."

He found himself moving towards the blonde man, taking the few paces and quickly sitting down next to him on the porch steps. The wood creaked under his weight, but Squall did not skip a beat, even though the words would not formulate in his mind before he said them. "...She'll figure it out eventually. She deserves to know."

"I know." Zell nodded. "...She's still crazy smart. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if she already got most of it by now. Her and Aerith are best friends now, and girls talk..."

Squall raised his eyebrow at him. "...Girls talk...about heart-stealing creatures bent on taking over the worlds...?"

Playing along, the blonde man grinned further. "Yeah, after boys and clothes and shoes, of course."

"Of course..." Squall shook his head at him but let out a chuckle, wondering silently to himself if Rinoa and Yuffie had any sort of 'girl talk' outside of the one he had been present for. The rain was still falling, not letting up and it was a few moments before he spoke again. "...Yuffie told me you spoke to Irvine..."

Zell, not taking his eyes off the rain, nodded. "...He looks good."

"W—When I go back to that world...to visit..." It took Squall a few moments to realize that it was his voice he was hearing and that the words he was saying were very different from the ones he had thought he would say when he had his chance with Zell. He thought he would be explaining himself again, asking for forgiveness...but it didn't come out that way at all. And that was...okay. Because he could deal with that. Because he would do what he could to make sure everyone got something like he did. "...if you want, I'll come around and pick you up. And you...could come, and bring Quistis too...and go with me. And say hello in person."

Another gulp of the beer in his hand and a swallow was how long he had to wait until Zell answered. _...and we'd all...sorta...be together again...sort of... _"...Yeah. I'd like that."

Squall exhaled the breath he didn't know he had been holding. Because this means something, right? Something good, right? "...Yeah. Me too."

He heard Zell shift in his seat, stretching out his legs as far as they would go before getting wet. "You got a good thing here, Squall...you know that?"

The question took him by surprise slightly and Squall surprised himself by answering rather quickly. "I know. I know that."

There was a light punch on his right arm and Squall turned to look at Zell. "It's good to hear you say that." He said, grinning widely. "I'm glad you got that through your head. Did Yuffie kick it in for you?"

The taller man smiled slightly, remembering the short battle the two of them had on the Gummi Ship when he returned. "...You could say that."

"She's one hell of a friend, that kid." Zell turned back to the rain. "Don't let her go, understand? You've got a friend for life over there. I just can't believe it took you about seven years to figure it out. I mean, you're Commander Leonhart. You're supposed to get things like that. That's your job..." He paused for a second, taking a drink, before continuing. "...You got a great thing here, Squall. With all the stuff that's happened to all of us...we're all pretty damn lucky to be where we are...We aren't dead. We aren't being chased down...we aren't fugitives or outcasts or isolated...If that's not lucky, I don't know what is. So, don't you forget it."

"...I won't."

There was a small smile shared between the two of them before they both went back to staring at the rain. "Good." Zell nodded, quickly finishing the rest of his drink in one gulp. "...So, tell me..." He began nonchalantly, moving away from the seriousness of his previous words in a flash, "...does Tifa have a boyfriend or what?"

Squall nearly choked on his beer at the bluntness of his question and could only hope he covered it smoothly. _...Zell... _He shook his head at him and exhaled slowly. "...Why don't you ask her yourself?"

"Because she can kick my ass, that's why."

And there was something in Squall's mind that told him that at some point, before all of this had happened, that they had had this conversation before. And even though he couldn't place it, couldn't remember all the words or the scenario or who it was Zell had been talking about that time, or what he had said—if he had said anything at all, that was fine.

...Because he had right now, didn't he? And he had both, didn't he? And that sure as hell counted for something.

* * *

mmmmm. Not much to say here. I really liked writing this chapter...although the ending with Zell/Squall seems a bit off for me...but, whatever...nice and light and funny! See? I can do angst and the funny stuff too! Ha! And Zell has finally come out with his feelings for Tifa! (lol) I think they'd make a great pair. XD

PLEASE REVIEW!

PS. Only about two chapters left! (gasp!) Hold onto your hats kids!


	33. Chapter Thirty Three

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

**To my reviewers (and readers!): **Gah! The ending is so close! I can taste it!

* * *

Just like Zell had said, by the next night, they were gone. They had all gathered in the garage for the goodbye; Quistis had shook hands with a yawn and Zell had made sure he gave Tifa a hug. It was no surprise to them that Yuffie kept talking about 'next time' and 'we'll see you soon, so don't worry' but when Cid had mumbled that they had done a good job for him, everyone was a little shocked.

"_Wow, really? Gosh, Cid, never knew you felt that way._" Zell had rolled his eyes with sarcasm.

"_Ah, shut-up before I take it back._" Was the older man's response. "_Now get on that ship and get outta my face._"

The goodbye was brief between the two friends who remembered, but no one could expect any more words to come out of Squall. To prevent an awkward silence, Yuffie was quick to offer her excellent driving services to the Olympia guests and hopped into the driver's seat before anyone could object. Over the roar of the engine, the rest of them had waved and waited until the Ship could no longer be seen in the sky.

Thinking back on it now, as he stared without interest at the finished paperwork in front of him, Squall wondered if he should have said or done more to the friend that he hadn't seen in seven years. _...but...you said everything that you wanted to say the night before, didn't you? You've already started over with them, haven't you? _That part, he knew without doubt, was true; it just felt strange that he barely saw Zell or Quistis all day because he had been working and they had been on a Hollow Bastion tour with Yuffie as their guide and a part of him wanted more time...

He sighed in his seat, slouched over the table, as his hands made their way to his temples to rub out the throb that persisted in his head. _..but you'll be seeing them soon anyway...and that means something, doesn't it? You'll be bringing them something back soon, won't you? ...and it's not like you didn't get your fair share of time with them...You...said what you had to say...to move forward..._

_...and that sure as hell counts for something... _Squall sighed again as he thought of the previous night where he and Zell had stayed up practically until day-break, talking and drinking with Cid. They had exchanged stories and comments and memories and it was as if seven years hadn't passed. But, of course, time had passed and it was awkward and it wouldn't really be the same but Squall made sure to squash down that piece of guilt that kept rising every time he looked at Zell's older face. Because Olympia was a big place, he told him. And it wouldn't be easy to find two people on your own without a clue, people who vanished before your eyes, he said.

And that was truth, wasn't it?

Leaning back in the chair, a tiny smile came to his face as he remembered their conversation. And their plan for next time. Because now, there would be a next time. And there can be a schedule and a meeting place and they could go together and see everyone else and that's what he wanted, wasn't it? Squall felt his eyelids begin to drop as he thought of Rinoa again and her smile and Irvine and Zell and even Quistis and everything that happened and what dumb luck it was and how it all stemmed from one loud ninja's little idea and how he would finally be okay and Rinoa and.....but immediately, he stopped his dreaming and snapped his eyes open. _You're still on the clock...I don't care how tired you feel...you're not done yet... _

He supposed it was his fault for staying up all night and not checking the schedule to see that he had a full-day shift that morning...but still. Cid should have warned him beforehand on the veranda instead of offering him more beer and having Aerith come into his room with a six o'clock wake-up call after only three hours of sleep. _...Come on...you should be used to this...This is what SeeD trains you for..._

Squall rubbed his eyes and tried to get his mind on something else. _The overhead fluorescent bulb needs to be fixed....it's flickering again...._ At the thought of doing that labour in his state, with the alcohol and the lack of sleep, he promptly decided that he'd do it tomorrow on his day-off. Besides, he was in no mood to fix anything and he figured that his state justified his procrastination. ...Even if the flickering lights made his prolonged alcohol-induced headache worse.

But he was _not _hung-over, and no matter how many times Yuffie called him out on it, it wasn't true.

Before he could even think it, his eyelids began to droop again. The same part of mind began to scold him, telling him to wake up and pay attention because as much as he wanted to relax, to wrap his head around the fact that Zell and Quistis were back home, that everything that had happened to him and his mindset and his friends was all very real, he still had a job to do and Cloud might need back-up because Cloud's patrol might be busier than his was and this was still very important. Squall groaned, forcing himself upright and pushing out all sleep-related thoughts._ ...come on, focus...You still have three hours to go...and you know...probably better than anyone...how quickly a quiet day can become crazy... _

Squall blinked hard and refocused, straightening his spine and squaring his shoulders to trick himself into staying awake. _...focus... _He went through his mental checklist to see if there was anything to keep him busy, to keep his mind off sleep, but the only thing left to do...would be to watch the video-feed. _All the paperwork is done...After Cloud's patrol, it's Tifa's turn and then, my shift is over... _He went through it again, trying to find anything else that needed to be done because he knew that if he just sat and watched the screens, he would definitely fall asleep. _...come on...focus..._

It must have been less than five minutes, because the next thing he knew, Tifa's voice came to his ears, loud and awakening, "—Sleeping on the job, shuh?"

At his startled, jolted expression, she held back a laugh. "Oh, I never thought I'd see the day!" Tifa waved off his nervous face immediately upon seeing it. "...Relax. Nothing's happened. Everything's fine. You're allowed to sleep a little bit...after that wild drinking binge you had last night..." She moved to the chair opposite to his and it was then that Squall noticed the two teacups in her hands. Without another word, just the light clinking of the cups as they hit the table, she pushed one towards him.

"...I...I did not have a drinking binge last night." It took Squall a lot longer than usual to sit back up again and answer her and realize that she had made him tea. It must have been a very deep sleep in those five minutes because he couldn't recall hearing the kettle or anything. He hated when his mind wasn't up to par with the rest of time. He was never going to drink again.

_Wow, Squall...you really must be severely hung-over... _Tifa held back her laugh and nodded to him to make it seem like she believed him after his words sunk in. _...Yeah, right...that's not what Zell told me..._ She nodded to him again when he looked at her in context with the tea being his. "It's green tea. Honey, no sugar...they say it's good for hangovers."

"Tifa. I am not hung-over." He frowned at her, trying to put as much finality to his words as he spoke. However, she simply rolled her eyes at him and he sighed. No one was going to believe him, were they? Squall looked down at his tea, somewhat defeated, and found himself watching the steam rise and fall and watching it make weird, twisted, indistinguishable shapes in front of him and he probably would have stared at it all day and wondered if this had happened before if Tifa hadn't broken his concentration.

"...I meant it, you know."

Looking up from the tea, Squall frowned a little, mind fuzzy from the tiny bout of sleep he had and not able to keep up just yet. _...what...?_ "...Meant what?"

She shrugged at him, talking back over the rim of her cup. "...That I'd kill you in your sleep if you ever tried anything like that again."

"...Oh." He nodded, his response making her laugh, his mind being satisfied with the knowledge that it was indeed Tifa who had said that to him when he first arrived and not Aerith. Squall picked up his cup and took a sip automatically, savouring the warm brew. "...Right."

"I really will...don't kid yourself." She pointed a finger at him to make Squall really believe her. _Because we're all friends here...and we're all in the same, sad little boat...and dammit, you don't deserve to be sad anymore! _"If I see any more of that sad, depressed and alone _Leon _who thinks that he doesn't deserve the good that comes after the bad...then...then I'll do it! I'll wait until you're vulnerable like this and kill you, alright?"

He nodded slowly. _...she's serious, isn't she?_ "A—Alright."

"Because Zell taught me this choke hold a few days ago that'll kill someone if I do it for long enough." Tifa continued, tone as if they were talking about the weather, "And he told me that you don't know how to break it because you never took that class, so there. Watch out."

Both of their cups clinked as they touched their saucers, each of the occupants finishing their sip at the same time. Squall gave her a tiny smile as her words sunk in, his brain up to speed to exactly _what _she would kill him for. _...because I did something terrible and horrible to Yuffie...to all of them...my actions...for all these years... _"...If I ever tried that again..." His voice seemed too loud for the room, but he continued anyway after a pause, "...I think Yuffie would get to me first."

"Well, you know," Tifa shrugged again, smiling a little bit too, "Yuffie won't be able to hold you down. I'll be there for back up." There was a pause, as the joke and the light-hearted conversation ended, and Tifa needed another sip of her tea before she could speak again. _...after all of that, Squall...after everything that's happened to you...._ "...So..."

"...So...?" He repeated, his eyes getting stuck again on the steam from the tea rising and falling and twisting into indistinguishable shapes and his mind had to remind him that this had happened before, hadn't it? That this part was familiar and comforting and that he had better be grateful for it, even random moments like these because this was something he had wanted back, wasn't it? _...Tifa...and Yuffie...and all of them......care...for me......and I can't believe it took me this long..._

"...You're better now, right?" She spoke rather fast, the question running out of her mouth because she had to ask. Because Yuffie hid behind her smiles and her jokes and her laughter all the time and a part of her gut twisted at the possibility that he hadn't changed after all of that, that Squall was still Leon and that he would still be cold and grief-stricken and still believe that he was alone and still believe that he didn't deserve anything...and she supposed that she had to hear it from him to shut that part up. _...because something good must have come from it...he had to see...just how lucky...he is...even if your memories are a burden...even if they are terrible, horrible things...you are so lucky, Squall...because after something like that happening...that's still something..._

The silence was heavy and Tifa held her breath as Squall thought about her question. _...I am...aren't I? Because I...understand now...how important...this is...and how lucky I am...to have something like this...like all of this...because not everyone can get both... _Before his mind could start rattling off all the people he knew who couldn't, he answered her question. It sounded strange to him to hear his automatic response, the one he always said, but this time it was different."...Yes, Tifa. I'm fine."

Steel-grey eyes were met with an intense stare as Tifa gauged him for traces of lying. He nodded to her when she relaxed. _...no more lying...no more being scared......no more believing in that punishment...because what happened that day......was nobody's fault... _Squall watched Tifa take a sip of tea and he had to wonder exactly how long they would have to wait for it. For the ending that he wanted everyone to have because if someone as cold and as sad and as pessimistic as him could get something back, why couldn't the ones who've been hoping for it get it? _...because Yuffie...can't do it forever, can she? She can't do it alone...And everyone deserves something good, don't they? Everyone deserves...that hope...again..._

"...For once...I believe you." She turned back to her tea, immensely relieved that Squall had told the truth. Because he was the lucky one, wasn't he? And even though she was slightly jealous of him and the fact that he had gotten something good out of this and the fact that he could indeed get both, Tifa pushed those thoughts aside. _...he got the ending he needed...the ending that he needed so badly...that's what's important here. _There was a slight tug on her lips as she took another sip. _...and he has finally gotten his grief off his chest...that's what he needed...that's what he needed to understand..._

It took her a second to realize that Squall had spoken. "...T—Thank you. I'm glad...someone finally believes me when I say that I'm fine." He held back a smile as he remembered Yuffie and Nakoma and Pocahontas... _...because seven years is a long time...to be doing nothing...but lying...and pretending..._

Tifa smiled at him, putting her tea cup back onto the saucer. Her mouth opened for a second, then it closed, as she wondered if she should ask her question. "...So, I guess...this means...that we can call you Squall now...right?" She leaned forward a little, his _name _sounding funny in the room because it was just so strange to hear it, as she waited on him to answer.

At the sound of her question, he immediately looked down at his tea. _...Squall... _He could hear Rinoa laughing a little as he contemplated it. _...Squall...because that's your name, isn't it? _He watched her smile at him through the reflection in the tea and he watched as the flower petals began to spin around her and found himself nodding to Tifa. Because that name didn't matter anymore, did it? Because he had gotten it back. Because he couldn't feel sorry for himself anymore because he had been shown the error of his ways, hadn't he? "...Yeah...I guess....you can..."

When Tifa looked up at him, to make sure that it was his voice that she heard, she noticed that he had fallen asleep in his chair.

* * *

It was five-sixteen in the afternoon.

He couldn't believe that he had slept soundly until five-sixteen in the afternoon. _...Hyne...the whole day is gone..._

Squall stared at his alarm clock with mild interest, thinking that if he looked at it long enough, the numbers would change back into a time that was before noon. He wasn't even aware that it was possible for him to sleep in past ten...and it wasn't like he was having a really interesting dream that he didn't want to wake up from...his eleven-hour sleep was dreamless. He never slept in this late.

And while a part of him was alarmed at this, at the fact that the giant to-do list he had planned for today hadn't gone away, another part quietly reminded him that his was his day-off and that he could spend the whole day in bed if he wanted to. To that logic, he sighed and relaxed against the pillow and the sheets again. _...that's right...the whole day off...I'm sure...Cid will fix the lights..._

He rolled onto his back after another twenty minutes of rest and opened his eyes again. The stark white of his ceiling hurt his eyes a little but he adjusted quickly. The light looked different in his room in the afternoon and Squall took his time commenting on it. _...come on...you can't spend the _whole _day in bed... _And as much as the part of him that had been begging for sleep for some odd weeks wanted to stay right where he was, the logical part made the rest of his body move out towards edge of the bed. _...besides, you're still on-call, you know...and you have to shower anyway..._

Squall sat upright at the edge of his bed and he stretched out the sleep from his body. His shoulders and back made popping sounds that he attributed to the fact that he had been in one position all night. Yawning, he stood up slowly and moved towards his dresser to get a new set of clothes out. _...do you even have clean laundry...? Or towels? _The question was cut short as he remembered that Aerith had told him that she had done a load for him.

It was when the drawer opened that he realized how quiet it was in his room. He paused for a second, hands resting on the handles of the drawer, frown forming. Usually, there was some commotion outside or his head was full of chatter... ..._a bird or...something... _Squall sighed and shrugged it off, pulling out one of the clean shirts from the drawer's neat piles. _Things sound different in the afternoon, I guess...But still...usually, I can hear Yuffie from miles away..._

And as if she heard him, as if the universe had planned it, there was a loud knock on his door that startled him out of the quiet. "Hey, hey Squall-y! Wakey-wakey! Are you decent in there?"

He barely had enough time to pull the clean shirt over his body before his door unlocked and Yuffie skipped in the room. "Good afternoon, sleepy-head! Fine day, ain't it?" She practically sang her words to him, apparently not noticing his half-dressed state. _You sure slept in today! I couldn't wait for you outside forever, you know!_

Squall blinked at her cheerful smile a few times before finding his words. They hadn't really talked since the Gummi Ship ride back home because he had been working and she had been giving a Hollow Bastion tour to Zell and Quistis so the first thing he could think of was how she got in front of him in the first place. "Y—Yuffie, how—?"

"—You haven't changed your code yet, silly!" She exclaimed, wagging her finger in his face. _Thankfully, anyway..._ "You really ought to change it. I mean, _anyone _could walk in here without notice! How embarrassing! And you'd be standing there half-naked going, 'what happened to privacy around here?'! The _nerve_ of someone just barging in here without notice!"

He was about to respond with the fact that she had done just that, but sighed instead. He took comfort in how familiar all this was and quickly kept it going. "...Yuffie, usually, when people ask, 'Are you decent in there?', they wait for a response before coming in."

To that, she shrugged and skipped over to his bed, climbing up on the still unmade sheets. _...but then, I'd have less time to annoy you! We have a lot of time to catch up on! _"Well, I knocked. And you are decent...sort of." She made a gesture to his underclothes with a wave of her hand. "And it's not like I've never seen you in your pyjama stuff before...So there."

Squall let out another sigh, but smiled to himself. _...Yuffie... _This was something familiar, wasn't it? Something he wasn't sure he could get back a few days ago...a side of Yuffie he thought he would never get to experience again...and this was something good, wasn't it? This was...moving forward, right? After what had happened, after what he had said...this was good, right? _...because she's been here for you all this time, hasn't she? Waiting and pleading......and she deserves...everything that I haven't...really given her yet, doesn't she? ...and now...I think...I'm ready for that...for all of that... _

He pulled out a pair of sweatpants from the drawer and was about to turn to the washroom to change out of his pyjama bottoms, a routine he was also familiar with, but stopped short when he heard the springs of his mattress bounce. Turning, he raised an eyebrow at Yuffie's jumping form. "...Yuffie...What are you doing?"

"Well, Squall, what does it look like I'm doing?" She laughed, keeping up with the tempo she had set for herself. _We have time to make up, mister! You are not leaving until we make up for those hours when we weren't partners in crime!_

The eyebrow was still raised and Squall resisted the urge to smile as he watched her go up and down and up again. _...Yuffie..._"It looks like you're jumping on my bed."

"Bingo! Your powers of deduction are astounding! First prize to Mr. Leonhart! You now have a choice of door number one, door number two or door number three!" Yuffie spun around as she jumped up, pointing to the imaginary doors and laughed to herself when she landed on the bed awkwardly on her butt. "Wait, wait..." Her grin widened, wanting to complete the last spin properly, "Lemme try that one again..."

Before she could scamper to her feet and try the spinning trick for a second time, Squall sighed and grabbed her arm. "Yuffie," He spoke sternly, "don't you have your own bed to jump on?"

_Oh! Come on! I'm not done yet! _She looked up at him as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world. "Well, duh. Of course I do. But I made my bed this morning and I can't ruin it!"

Squall blinked. He knew that she was lying because she _never_ made her bed and because her room always looked like it was hit by a hurricane, but he decided to play along. "So, to you, the next logical step would be to find someone else's unmade bed and jump there?"

Yuffie nodded before twisting out of his grip and starting her jumping again. "Man, I can barely get any air-time with these springs." She commented randomly as she jumped. "How the heck to you sleep on this? Aerith's bed is really squishy, you know, and I can practically touch the ceiling with hers."

_...Yuffie... _He wanted to make the argument that it was way too early in the morning for this, but as he pinched the bridge of his nose, he remembered that it was almost evening. _...still...right when I wake up...really?_ There was some comfort in the fact that she was being her usual...enthusiastic...self, and he made himself focus on that. _Some things don't change...do they?_ Squall moved closer to the bed and tried to grab her arm for the second time. "...Yuffie. Beds are not made for jumping on. Get down."

She turned away from him to avoid his grasp, putting a finger to her chin in mock-thought. "I know that, Squall. Beds are only made for one thing...well, two really...and that all depends if someone's in there with you...and you're into that kind of thing..."

_...Right, of course... _He sighed at her joke and she laughed. There were two more bounces from her before he spoke again. _Well...if she can't jump on made beds, then... _"Yuffie, I would like to make my bed now."

Much to his relief, she stopped jumping at the sounds of his words, her form bobbing in front of him as the springs went back to normal. _...way to ruin the fun..._ "Why bother with that now, Squall? It's almost time for bed! What's the point in making it if you're just going to screw it up in a few hours anyway?"

Since she had stopped moving, he was able to grab a hold of her and guide her gently off the bed, completely ignoring her rant. "Oh! Come on! I'm bored! Why can't I just keep jumping and bothering you?" Yuffie protested, pulling her best pout-y face. _...Come on, I know you've missed it! You've missed my annoying self! I did too! Don't deny it! _And while she couldn't say that she was one hundred percent back to normal, Yuffie figured that she was close enough. _...because even with the sad part in the middle...you got it back...And...at the very least... you can't be sad anymore...and that's something I wanted to have...for a long time..._

"...If you're bored..." Squall trailed off, ignoring her face, moving to the head of the bed to flip the pillow over. His mind commented on how familiar this was, how back-to-normal this was, him and Yuffie talking and working together, and he couldn't help the tiny smile that came to his face. _...I don't think...anything could take this part away from me... _"...You can help me. I'll teach you how to make your bed."

—_Make his bed?! Are you serious? _That's _what he wants us to spend our first re-friendship hours doing? _Yuffie huffed incredulously, but she supposed she shouldn't have been that surprised. "I know how to make my own bed, Squall!"

"No you don't." He said sternly, gears turning back to the routine and the focus and he was barely aware that his hands were moving to a free corner in the sheets to start straightening them out. "I've seen your room. Now get to the other side."

Without another word, Yuffie jumped onto the bed again and walked across the mattress to follow his order. _...well, I guess that's still Squall for you..._She made sure to mess up the sheets a little bit more before hopping off the bed and getting into position. "Okay, boss-man! Where to start?"

Squall's eyebrow was still raised at her choice of path, but he answered her after a short exhale. "Grab that corner of the sheets and pull towards the pillow." And while his side of the bed was pulled taut, he found Yuffie's was full of wrinkles. _...Yuffie...Come on... _"Pull harder, Yuffie. No waves in the sheets, alright?"

She dropped the edge of the sheets at his instructions. "I'm pulling as hard as I can! What more do you want?!" When she realized that he wasn't going to take the bait and start a mini-argument, Yuffie sighed and started pulling the sheets again. Because as much as she wasn't into being tidy and neat and organized and systematic and practical...she knew that this was important to _him_. And she supposed that it meant something that he was sharing this part with her, a part of him that dates back to before he even knew she existed.

There was quiet between the two of them as they worked together and a tiny smile came to Yuffie's lips at the thought of Squall and his before. _But he got that back...he got what he needed...heard what he needed to hear...to get past all of that...to finally _let _himself be happy...for what he has...and for what he got... _She kept the silence and didn't bother asking questions; she simply watched his hands move and mirrored him. _...there's something about his face now....that proves it...that he gets it now... _

Her eyes kept darting from his face to his hands and to her hands and back again and she found herself smiling wider. _...it's...different... even though that focus is still there... there's no more poker-face...or sad lion eyes...because I took care of that, didn't I? He gets it now... _There was a small wave of his hand that Yuffie managed to catch in her peripherals that signalled to her that her side of the head of the bed was done. _Oh! Finally!_

They moved together to the foot of the bed in silence to get started on tucking the sheets back in. And while she hesitated slightly, suddenly not sure if she should be intruding on this moment, on one of the few things he allowed himself to keep from his before for all these years because this type of thing was usually one of those private matters, the ones were he wore the face of calm, the ones that he didn't want her to see......Yuffie threw the thoughts away and quickly dropped to the ground to help him. _...because he wouldn't have told me to help him...if he didn't want me here...and that means something..._

She had to stop herself from giggling aloud at the realization because she never thought it would happen, she never thought she would ever see the day, because even with all her optimism, she never thought he would share...and she didn't want to ruin this. _...never thought you'd be this sentimental, Squall.... and now, he can finally share it... _As she watched his hands smooth out the waves in the sheets, her mouth suddenly had a mind of its own, thinking that she had appreciated the silence long enough and had to start talking again before the moment of sharing pasts passed. _Quick! While he's still in the mood and all! _"—Hey, Squall?"

He didn't even look in her direction, he just nodded, her voice not distracting him. At first, Yuffie didn't want to continue, didn't want to really break the silence just yet because it was something good for once, but she did anyway. _This could be my only shot! _"You know, I still think you owe me some stories...And this question has been bothering me for ages! ...It's such a mystery to me! I mean, you'd think it'd be the first thing I'd ask about because it's right there and it stares me in the face all the time but it hadn't come up and—" She realized she was rambling and quickly cut herself off. _Get to the point! He's still Squall! _"...Where'd you get that scar?"

If she hadn't been paying so much attention to his hands, she would have missed it. There was a tiny pause in Squall's movements as her question sunk in but he didn't skip a beat. _...it seems...so long ago... _He exhaled slowly, thinking about the man who had done it to him and Squall had to wonder where he was, and how he was, because people don't just vanish, do they? _...Almasy..._ "...A friend of mine gave it to me."

To that, she frowned, stopping her hands and releasing the sheets. "A friend? A _friend_ did that to you? What kind of friend cuts your face open like that?!"

She watched his profile as his lips twitched upwards slightly and waited for his response. "Yuffie...if he wasn't my friend, I would have been dead."

"...Oh." Yuffie nodded slowly, remembering all the SeeD stories that Zell had told her. _...and Squall is a really hard guy to kill... _Her hands went back to the sheets."...So, accidental then?"

Another pause and as the movie played out in his head, that memory from a long time ago, Yuffie watched as Squall's face remained calm and free of the sadness that would usually be present and thanked all the wishing stars because he continued. "Yes. You can say that. ...We were sparring. He took me by surprise and used that opportunity to show me how careless I was."

_Squall? Taken by surprise?! Is this the same Squall who never flinches in Halloween Town?! _"W—Well," She sputtered, amazed that he had actually continued the story, but not believing that Squall Leonhart could be taken by surprise and actually be injured because words like 'careless' could never be used to describe him, "at least tell me you hit him back!"

His hands were already moving to the corner of the bed to make the proper fold and it was with half a mind that he answered her, a tiny smile on his face. Because this was important. This part. This sort-of starting over.... _...because...she deserves it...so much...to be a part of my life...after everything that she's done...and I'm here to fix this._

Because even though it really hadn't hit him yet, everything with Rinoa and Zell and Irvine and the possibilities of his past and his redemption and correction and his acceptance to how blind he had been to everyone around him...it was all because of her. Yuffie. And he couldn't deny that. And this was the least he could do with her to thank her, wasn't it?

He didn't think it would be this easy: talking about something that he hadn't told anyone in a long time, talking about something he had kept locked inside and away from the present because he never thought it could mix. _...and how wrong I've been...and how long they've been waiting for this..._ Because she...made it so obvious...that he could have both... and that he didn't have to...give up one part of himself for another. _...Yuffie..._

And that's all he really wanted, wasn't it?

"...Of course I did. His goes up the other way. Left to right."

There was silence after that and it wasn't long before Yuffie had folded the sheets under the mattress to his standards and they both stood up. She smiled up at him as she patted herself on the back. "I think we did a good job! Ha! The Great Ninja Yuffie is now a professional bed-maker! While I add that to my resume, if you have a ten-piece munny, can we bounce it off the covers?"

Another tiny smile came her way but Squall shook his head to her question. "No. I don't have one. Next time." There was a pause between the two of them, neither of them sure of what to do now that the task was over. And it was strange to Squall because, for once, his mind was empty when it came to Yuffie. Usually, there was always something to say to her, even if it was just 'Whatever'...but now, it didn't seem right to just brush her off like he used to because they were starting over, right? But after all of that, what could he say? _...Tell her. Tell her that you get it... Tell her that you know now...that you were never alone... _

He was about to open his mouth, to say the words that were going through his head, but Yuffie bet him to the punch, grinning from ear to ear. _Well...now that your idea of re-friendship is over...it's time for mine! _"Now, Squall...I know it's no longer your birthday and whatever..." She began, closing the distance between the two of them so that the tips of her shoes touched the tip of his bare toes. "But, I realized today that I never actually gave you a birthday present!"

Yuffie could tell that he was about to object, so she cut him off. "No, no! It's only fair! I got Cloud a gift last year! And yes, a new pack of batteries and a stick of gum counts as a gift! So now it's your turn! Close your eyes!"

"Yuffie, it's okay—"

"—No! I command you! You may think that birthdays suck but I don't!" She protested, hands on her hips. "Because if you hadn't been born then—then I would never have met you and even though you're a jerk-face sometimes...if I hadn't met you, the universe would just be weird! So close you eyes and accept your gift like a man!"

He gave her a tiny smile at her sentiment but felt that he shouldn't. She had already done enough for him, hadn't she? "But I don't want—"

"—Close 'em! Now! It's a surprise!" She couldn't believe her luck when he complied, even if he sighed and rolled his eyes in the process, because she had really believed that all her luck had run out from escaping his Room all those days ago. "Good! No peeking! Keep them closed..." Repeating that, Yuffie quietly reached into her back pocket and pulled out an envelope. _Man, my re-friendship is going to kick your re-friendship's butt! You owe me! _Grabbing a hold of one of his hands hanging by his side, she put the envelope square in the middle of his palm. "—Okay! Open!"

And she wished she had a camera when Squall realized what was in his hands. She figured that he recognized Rinoa's handwriting that spelt his _name_ and the little curvy angel wing on the outside face of the envelope and Yuffie couldn't help the smile that came to her face when his eyes lit up.

"Y—Yuffie..." Squall could barely hear himself, her name mumbled, as he brought the envelope closer to his face, to make sure he was really seeing it. _...that's...this is...Rinoa's... _Blinking several times, he looked down at Yuffie and back to the envelope and back to her again. "Y—Yuffie...?"

And much to his surprise, Yuffie didn't say a word. She just kept smiling at him. _Surprise, Squall! Surprise! _Because this was what she wanted, right? She wanted this part and had waited for this part for about seven years, hadn't she? _...Squall... _Because she had thought that for those thirty-six hours that she would never get anything back, that she would never see this part in person. _...Squall......you're happy now, right?_

He kept blinking, mouth slightly open, unable to process the events that had just occurred. All he knew for sure was that his heart was pounding and his mind was repeating the command for him to open it and read it and get back on the Gummi Ship and go back to her _right now _over and over and over again. But he knew that he couldn't. Not right now. Because he never would have gotten anything back if it hadn't been for Yuffie and he couldn't just leave her without saying anything. _...Hyne...This...She..._ Squall took a deep breath to steady himself. _Say it. Say it. Say it. Say it._

And much to her surprise, Squall slowly dropped to the ground so that they could be at eye-level. He carefully lay the envelope on the floor beside them, never once looking away from her face. There was an intensity in his gaze that Yuffie was familiar with but it was different from what she usually saw. _...Squall...? _Steel-gray eyes locked onto dark brown and it felt like the whole universe was holding its breath. "...S—Squall...?" She had been expecting an out-of-character reaction from him, but nothing like this.

She watched as his lips twitched into tiny smiles as he tried to gather his words. "Yuffie..." Squall began slowly, eyes never wavering. His heart was still pounding and he couldn't recall a time when he felt this nervous. Because how exactly could he articulate his gratitude in words? For _everything _that she had done? Because she had been the hopeful one, the one who kept believing that everything happened for a reason, that everything was going to turn out fine...the one who showed him that he could be happy with his present, that he wasn't replacing them or disregarding them or failing them... The one who went out of her way to get it back for him...when he had given up hope. _...Yuffie... _He blinked slowly, realizing that she was still waiting, and spoke the only words he could deem appropriate even if the words didn't really form in his mind beforehand. "...Thank you. Thank you so much."

If the words didn't surprise her, the sudden feeling of his arms around her shoulders sure did. It took Yuffie a second to reciprocate the hug but when she did, she made sure she did it tightly. She knew it wouldn't last for long, beacuse that just wasn't Squall and that'd be weird, so she just listened to him repeat the words that she had been waiting for. Because she had done good, hadn't she?

And really, she couldn't expect anything else from him. Because he was Squall, right?

* * *

:D. Hope everyone had a Happy Halloween! I was Lady Gaga! Any awesome costumes?

Next chapter, THE MUCH ANTICIPATED ENDING! =O OMG.

PLEASE REVIEW!


	34. Chapter Thirty Four

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

* * *

His room was quiet and still when the two of them pulled away from one another. Squall exhaled slowly and gave Yuffie another smile as he turned slightly to retrieve the envelope beside him. The second his fingers touched it, his heart began to hammer because he knew that without her, he wouldn't have gotten this close. He wouldn't have gotten this far. _...I never would have made it, would I? _When his voice came to her next, the sound of it nearly made Yuffie jump. "I'm sorry for what I said."

Yuffie had to blink a couple of times, the words that were exchanged that day of the fight practically long gone from her mind, before she responded. "Squall...You—"

He wasn't listening to her. He didn't want her just to brush off those words that he had said because he had said them, had actually _meant _them at the moment he said them, and that was inexcusable. Because there was a time when he felt that he never should have stayed with them, that he should have kept looking. Because there was a time where all he wanted was to sleep forever because he just couldn't live with it anymore.

Because there was a time when he truly believed he had abandoned them...a time that he never thought he could forgive himself for. And a long time after that of just holding onto that sad, angry voice. Squall gave one more look to the envelope before locking eyes with her. _...I'm sorry, Yuffie... _"—I wish I hadn't said it. But I did. And I'm sorry."

"Squall," Yuffie huffed, not wanting to go back down that road because she _knew _she was going to start crying because the look on his face was so sad, "I know you're sorry. You've already apol—"

"—I'm sorry, Yuffie." The tone in his voice and the look in his eyes made her stop. _...I'm sorry, Yuffie...for all my actions..._ "And...I don't think...I can ever repay you...any of you...for taking me in when I had nowhere else to go."

She gave him a tiny smile at his words, tears starting to well up in her eyes. She remembered that day, when he had come back; it had been raining and just about a week since the _Curaga _she had given him. And he had knocked three times, in rapid succession, and if she hadn't been near the door, she wouldn't have heard him. And if she hadn't opened it when she did, Yuffie figured that she would have never seen him again. _And...that means that all of this...everything that happened...just...wouldn't have. _And Yuffie couldn't even begin to wrap her head around that. _Or maybe...we would have met anyway...and it still would have happened...or something..._

Her lips were quivering and Squall could tell she was going to cry soon but he couldn't stop now because this was it. The moment. His shot. And right now, it didn't matter that the words didn't form in his head beforehand. "...I never...asked for anything from you. You never had to do anything. But you did. You...You did it anyway. And I don't think I can ever make it up to you..."

Squall wasn't expecting her to speak in between his pause, but he managed to catch her quiet, trembling words, "Even if...this hadn't happened... ...They never blamed you, Squall...not for one second..."

He was about to answer, to tell her how right she was, but Yuffie continued, wiping the tears from her cheeks with her voice rising in volume, "That...no matter what...they never would have blamed you! Never, Squall! And you never had the right to take that guilt! Because what kind of _friend_ would do that to you?"

"I know..." He mumbled softly, his voice getting quiet at her words. "I know..."

"...And I know that it hurts to lose people and everything...and I know that we all feel a little guilty over what happened and what could have been...I went through the same thing you did, Squall. We all did!" She sniffed, trying to stop her rambling, but failing, and trying to keep herself from crying because didn't she tell herself once that crying over _him _wasn't worth it anymore? "And I know what it feels like to be alone and afraid but—but...you had it all wrong! ...Because friends would never hold it against you. Because...because people just don't vanish like that!"

Squall found himself nodding, his hand moving towards her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. He recognized the look in her eyes, one that he probably overlooked too many times to count. _...Yuffie... _Because she had been alone too, hadn't she? Even though she had Cid and Tifa and Cloud and Aerith, she was thinking about all the other people that hadn't come to Hollow Bastion like she did, wasn't she? _...the ones that are somewhere else...because an entire world...is a big place to lose... _"I know, Yuffie...And I'm sorry that it took me so long..."

"—You better be damn sorry for taking so long!" A finger was pointed in his direction, poking his chest, and Squall couldn't resist the smile that came to his face when he heard the tone of humour in her voice. _...Squall...that's seven years of doing nothing, you know...! _There was a pause, as she calmed down a little, as she gathered herself, and when she spoke next, there was a seriousness in her voice, a mature tone, that Squall never thought he would hear.

"....There are tens of hundreds of people who I want to see again...who I've lost since my world got destroyed...and maybe...I'll never get to see them...because this is still scary...and the ending is still up in the air...And even though that gives me every right to cry at night, to be sad all the time because I miss them and want to see them so badly...I can't do that..." Yuffie looked up at him, tears still falling, "I would rather keep hope than to be sad...because you can't be sad and miserable all the time! You don't have a right! Not for those reasons! Because being sad and miserable sure as hell won't do anything constructive! And I'd rather feel good than feel terrible all the time!"

Yuffie's words were coming out so fast, she had to stop herself for a second to catch her breath. _...Squall..._ She never thought it a million years she would get to say any of that, because she never thought he would change, never thought he would get it...so she slowed down, to make the words count. "And...And even though they aren't here...or in any of the other worlds that I've seen...and even though it's sometimes not enough to just hope that they're okay...that they're happy and peaceful and safe...that's all I can do because I don't want to cry over them anymore.

"Because an entire world is hard to lose, Squall...And people don't just vanish...And I can't be sad when I'm still lucky. I still have Cid. I have Tifa and Aerith and Cloud and I've got to meet you and Sora and King Mickey and Merlin......So I—I'm thankful...for the ones I have. For the friends that I can watch over and be with. For all the people and places that I've got to see and got to experience. Because they're important, too. And when I think of the others, I hope for them, I hope that they're lucky too. That they've gotten something. Even if their memories are distorted or gone...as long as they aren't alone, you know? That's all I want...

"...Because having this, even just a little piece, means something...Because something good had to come out of something like that...The universe isn't that cruel..." She cast a sly glance at him, smiling a little as she added, "...even though it made you a huge jerk-face sometimes and made it take you seven years to get it..."

There was an exchange of small smiles between the pair before Squall looked down at the ground, at the envelope. _...I don't think...I can ever repay you...for what you've done for me... _And as he stared at the envelope, at what it symbolized, he hoped even more that everyone else would be lucky like him. Even people who he wasn't sure existed. That they would accept and meet friends like the ones he had received when he had woken up on the worst day of his life. _...and maybe Hyne wouldn't be so cruel anymore... _"...Thank you, Yuffie." He said after a silent pause. "Thank you for...not leaving me alone..."

It was then when Yuffie smiled huge. Tears were still falling, but he could tell the difference. _...she's happy again... _"W—Well, Squall...A—As the ocean said to the shore, 'I appreciate the sediment!'"

Squall's lips twitched upwards and he looked at the ground for a moment. _...all this time, I thought I was still alone...but it was only because I chose to be...I chose to hold onto that part...that irrationality..._ "I mean that. You didn't have to care. You didn't have to bother. But you did. ...And...I...I—I'm glad that...I met you, Yuffie. Thank you."

Her mouth opened slowly, her brain finally able to process everything that had been said. _...he's finally glad he met you! He's finally okay with all your annoying, scatterbrained schemes! Quick! Say something!_ It sounded lame to her, but the only words she could think of to say after such a moment were the only ones that sounded right. Because there was no poker-face. No more lies. He really meant it and so did she. "...You're welcome, Squall..."

The air was suddenly lighter in the room and Squall exhaled slowly. That was it, wasn't it? The ease that he felt proved to him that he had said what he needed. That Yuffie had heard what she needed. This was that epiphany moment, wasn't it? The one he had been waiting for...The one that had been eluding him all this time. And that was something good, wasn't it?

There was another long pause between the two and after thirty seconds of it, Yuffie figured that she had waited long enough. His words had made her feel better and she had finally said her piece and it meant that they were back on the re-friendship boat and that there was nothing else to hold against him or anything..._...but what about the letter?!_ And while a part of her brain wanted to know what the etiquette code was for something like this, another larger part was tickling her to speak up.

Because that envelope was staring her right in the face...with its curly cursive writing and the tiny angel wing and the tens of thousands of mysteries... _The letter! What does it say?! _Yuffie was pretty sure Squall would forgive her if she ended up being rude or out-of-line because he knew how her curiosity could override everything, because he still had a memory of an elephant and didn't forget anything. So with that reassurance in her mind, her mouth quickly blurted out her question. "—So, are you going to open that or what?"

At the abrupt change in atmosphere, Squall let out a chuckle. _...Yuffie... _She was back to normal, wasn't she? Even with her tear-streaked face... He looked at the envelope, trying to keep a bored tone in his voice as he stood up. "I don't know...Maybe."

"_Maybe_?!" She cried, incredulously, playing along, and going all out in the dramatics department. "Your Sorceress girlfriend put her _heart_ and _soul_ into that letter and you _might _read it?! Jeeze, Squall! You don't get women, do you?"

Yuffie was sure she heard him chuckle again and as he turned back to his dresser, she followed him, practically stepping on his heels. "...Oh! I get it! You don't want me to see what she wrote...Well, if it's something she's been wanting to tell you for seven years...it's not like I can't handle anything that's not PG-13 rated, you know! I'll just skip over that part! I swear! And I won't blackmail you with it!

"—Wait! I know!" Yuffie practically skipped over to walk in front of him, nearly giggling. She didn't really want to read the letter because that was intensely private and Squall was still an intensely private guy and that would just be mean. _...so how about a deal...? Because you still owe me one, mister!_ "I'm pretty sure you don't want me reading that letter....So, how about this? If you buy me a bag of sour green apple salt-water taffy from Twilight Town, I won't make you read the letter out loud!"

He pretended to ignore her, gathering his things for the shower he still had to take. "No! Wait! Scratch that! A bag of sour green apple salt-water taffy and a sugar twist doughnut stick from that bakery near the beach! Get me that and I won't take that letter right now and read it to myself!" She made a move for the envelope, jumping up and waving her arm towards it, but Squall stopped suddenly, making her crash into him.

She stumbled back and caught her balance, raising her eyebrow at his thoughtful expression. _What's there to think about, you goof? I'm giving you privacy for five munny's worth of sweets! _Yuffie was expecting something interesting, from the deep concentration on his face, but couldn't stop her mouth from dropping at his words. "...I want double your offer."

"_W—What_? For what?"

His tone was even, that familiar negotiating tone, and she could have sworn that Squall was trying to suppress a smile. "_Two_ bags of taffy and _two_ sugar twists in exchange for leaving the letter with me...and keeping Irvine and Zell and Quistis occupied and out of her house for a few hours when we go back."

And as he turned back around to go get his towels, as if he didn't just imply what she was pretty sure she heard, Yuffie let out her laughter. "A—Alright Squall! You got yourself a deal! A pleasure doing business with you! If you throw in some sea-salt ice-cream, I'll keep them occupied all day and leave your room right now!"

From his profile, she saw him smile again. "Fine. Sea-salt ice-cream included."

Yuffie grinned and held out her hand. "Shake on it, mister! And if you think you can cheap out on the deal, you got another think coming! I'll barge right in there and ruin the moment!"

"Of course." He nodded, extending his hand and shaking hers with a firm grip. "No interruptions. ...And try to be inconspicuous."

"Ha! I'm a ninja, that'll be easy! You got it!" As the hand-shake ended, Squall gave her a gentle push towards the door. To his surprise, she didn't bother protesting and let herself be guided; Yuffie figured that she had bothered him enough. "Oh! I'd like half of the offer upfront! Before we go! And the other half afterwards! ...That way, I can share the first half with everyone to 'keep them occupied' and then, that'll leave me with a full bag for later!"

"Of course, Yuffie." Squall nodded, smiling. When he had finally got her to the door, they both stopped for a second. _Yuffie... _He brought his hand towards the doorknob slowly and when he turned it, the click seemed too loud for the room. He wasn't sure if he should say something, anything, because she had done so much for him and still didn't seem like enough—

"—I'm glad that I met you too, Squall..." His thoughts stopped short at her words and all he could do was watch Yuffie skip over the boundary between his room and the hallway. She spun back towards him on her toes and smiled. "And I'm really happy that you got something back. ...It makes you a good omen, you know?"

And while a part of his brain wanted to argue that there was still a huge possibility that everything might not work out as planned, that everyone could just remain stuck in this strange limbo, that it could even get worse to the point of utter disaster, Squall smiled at her a little. He didn't exactly remove that possibility from his mind, he just...turned down the volume. Because being miserable all the time didn't do much for him, did it? _...because...if someone like me...could get something this good...the reward for those who have been waiting patiently will be great... _"Thank you, Yuffie."

Squall watched her run down the hallway at top speeds, back towards the Control Room, before closing the door and removing the letter from his back pocket. He exhaled slowly, staring at the yellowed edges of the envelope, the holes at the corners, the curly cursive that was unmistakeably Rinoa's, before carefully turning the envelope over and opening it.

His thumb slid easily under the weak adhesive and it only took a second before the lip of the envelope popped open. Squall swallowed thickly, suddenly not liking the silence in his room, eyeing the yellowed paper on the inside, and a part of him didn't want to touch it for the fear of it breaking up in his hands. _...but then, you'll never know...If you don't let go of that fear now...you'll never know...Read it._

Telling himself that fear was a stupid emotion to have at this point, that he had been through much worse, his fingers pulled the letter out from its confinement. It didn't crumble into pieces, but as he opened the three-folded paper, the sound seemed too loud for the room.

Squall's heart began to pound and his hands got clammy even before he read his _name _at the top left corner of the paper.

_Squall,_

He looked away from it for a second, forcing himself to calm down and to breathe, because Rinoa had written this for him quite some time ago. There was a date on the right hand corner, but _3053/8/23 _had no meaning now. However, because she had written on paper and with ink, Squall knew it must have been a few months, or perhaps even a year, after she met with Pocahontas.

And a part of him had to wonder how long Rinoa had held onto their world's concept of time.

_If you're reading this, one of two things must have happened. One, this letter was magically transported to you by some freak accident with my Sorceress powers or two, we've found each other. ...In the field were we promised to meet, right?_

Squall pursed his lips together when he noticed the nearly transparent spots on the paper that made the ink run in certain places. _...she was crying... _That fact alone hit him hard but before he could beat himself up over it, he calmed down. _...she was crying...but she's fine now. She's done with being sad..._

_I'm writing you this letter because I want you to know that I'm okay. I'm fine. I don't want you to worry anymore because I'm okay. This new place...where I woke up, the people here are friendly and they've helped me a lot... But it kills me that I don't know where you've woken up. Or where anyone else has woken up. __And even though I'm fine, and I know you'll be fine wherever you are, I miss you and I wish you were here. _

_I miss waking up with you beside me and I don't like the fact that all I can do is hope that you've woken up someplace good, in good hands. Because I don't know what happened or why or where 'here' is and I'm so worried and everything is so strange and I wish you were here so we could talk through this and make a plan and make sense of exactly what happened. Or something else very Squall-like to get back. _

She had let more teardrops fall on this section, he noticed, even with the tiny joke at the end.

_I hate this part; this not knowing. This being separated from everyone. And I know you hate it more, so I hope that wherever you are, you aren't alone. I hope you're with people, too. Maybe you've found Zell or Quistis or Irvine or Selphie or Edea or Ellone...just anyone, it doesn't matter. ...Because I can feel it; you're alive. Everyone's alive, somewhere. Because I can't be the only one and I'd like to make myself believe that there's a point to this. That there's a point to my hope. _

The tears stopped here, Squall realized, and he could feel the change in writing before he read it. Her script got less messy, less nervous, less scared and he could practically see the gears in her head switch over. _...she's done being scared now, isn't she?_

_But please, don't worry about me. I don't want you to worry. I'm shaken, but I'll be fine. I'll be brave, like you. I'll get through this because you've all taught me to be better than this. I'll be strong and I won't worry about you either because I know you'll be fine, too. Wherever you are._

_Just...Squall, after _that_, promise me one thing: that whatever happens, just remember that I love you. I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you. That's it. That's all I ask._

_Just don't forget that. I love you so much and even though it hurts me that you aren't here, I still love you. And I won't stop. And even if you do forget, I'll remember enough for the both of us. Whatever happens, okay? _

He felt his lips twitch upwards slightly at her writing; it was as if she was having a conversation with him in person. _...Rinoa..._

_Stay safe, Squall. Because I want to see you again. Because I know that I will. And I want to tell you everything that's happened to me. And I want you to tell me everything that's happened to you. And I want to hear everything everyone has to say because I have a feeling it's going to be quite the story. Because something good has to come from something like that._

_I'll see you soon,  
Rinoa_

Squall exhaled slowly, feeling a warmth spread through his chest, and he wasn't sure why his brain made him turn the note over, but it happened, and at the bottom of the page, nearly blurred from the tear drops, there was something else.

_P.S. You didn't think I'd forgotten, did you? Happy Birthday, Squall  
_

* * *

Tifa wasn't sure why, but as she plugged in the electric kettle, she started to whistle. It wasn't a song or a tune from the television or radio, just random notes and she couldn't help the good feeling she had. _Even though a full-day shift is nothing to be happy about...Maybe because the sun is finally shining after three weeks of heavy rain..._

Whatever the reason, Tifa kept whistling to herself until the kettle began to whistle with her. When she yanked out the plug, she heard the Control Room door swish open. _...and that's probably Yuffie...late as always... _And even though Yuffie's lack of punctuality usually made Tifa frown, it didn't seem to bother her one bit today.

"Good morning, fellow Restoration Committee Members! Fine day today!" Tifa heard her footsteps stop short suddenly after her loud greeting. "Tifa? Where are you?"

She should have bet money on it, because she knew that Yuffie was going to ask about the empty room. "Over here! I'm in the kitchen. ...Want some tea?"

There were a few skips before her petite friend bounded into the kitchen, all smiles. "Sure! Get that purple one I always have...Four sugars, no milk, no honey!"

Tifa couldn't help the smile that came to her face as she got the extra mug. _...it's contagious... _After pouring the hot water over each of their respective teabags, she shrugged at her. "I don't know how you can drink tea with that much sugar. It ruins the taste of it. You're better off just having soda in the morning."

Yuffie scoffed as she picked up her mug, turning towards the exit to go back to the main room. "_Soda_? In the morning? Tifa please, that's disgusting!"

The two friends shared a laugh, sitting across from one another at the round table. Yuffie promptly put her feet up and was surprised when Tifa didn't immediately tell her to get her 'dirty shoes off the table! We eat here, you know!' _Looks like someone woke up on the right side of the bed this morning... _After a few sips, Yuffie put the mug down, staring at her friend with a raised eyebrow. "...So, you're in a good mood today..."

Tifa shrugged and looked back at her over the rim of her cup. "I guess I am."

"Is there a new man in your life you haven't told me about?! _Oh_! Is it _Zell_?! I _knew _it!" She blurted out fast, leaning over the table slightly in interest. "Oh! But that's totally not fair! First Squall! Now you! Jeeze, am I going to be the only single person left here?"

"There's still Cid..." Tifa smiled back.

"Oh, phsst. Cid doesn't count." Yuffie waved off the suggestion with her hand. Before she could resume her inquiry with rapid-fire questions, Tifa held her hand up to stop her.

"There's no man. Relax. ...I'm just...feeling good today."

"Who are you and what have you done with Tifa?" Yuffie made her best suspicious face before laughing again. _It's like there's been a huge mood shift since me and Squall got back... _"W—Well, whatever the reason, I'm glad you're in a good mood."

"Really?" The martial artist smirked. "And why's that?"

"Because that means you can't be mad when I finally call in on my favours from you. Remember those two patrols I did in a row...?" Tifa rolled her eyes at her words but both women quickly resumed the light-hearted laughter. _...Oh, Tifa... _There was a pause between the two, just the light clinking of their cups, before Yuffie spoke again. "It's good that you're in a good mood. I don't like it when everyone's so sad all the time..."

Tifa nodded at her and shrugged afterwards. She felt her mood dip a little and hadn't meant to make the conversation so morbid, but it happened. When she looked at Yuffie, she felt her heart squeeze. _...and even though you have so much to be sad about...you're the only one who smiles the most...and keeps hope all the time... _"Well...sometimes, there's a lot of stuff to be sad about..."

"Well, duh," Yuffie started, finally pulling her feet down from the table to lean forward better, "but there's always the good stuff too! And when you're sad all the time, you don't see it, you know? And even if it's...all sad stuff today, there's always tomorrow's good stuff!"

"I know...I guess...Being sad is just...easier sometimes..." The older woman looked down at her tea, seeing the dark red liquid still, and remembered the night when all she wanted was to be the perfect, full cup. _...but even that's not all it's cracked up to be... _Tifa nodded slowly, looking back up at Yuffie's expectant face. _... After that...I should be thankful for getting at least part of it back...and take a page out of your book, Yuffie, and remember that much..._ "...But...that's not an excuse."

"Damn straight! Especially when you have such an awesome friend like me!" Yuffie smiled and pointed to herself, as if Tifa could get confused as to who the 'me' was referring to. _So, you can't be sad anymore...it's not fair...for me to be the only hopeful one left..._ "...And you know, all the others, too..." She added quickly, waving off their names with her hand, smiling again.

It was then that Tifa smiled at her and there was a sense of understanding between the two of them. About their before. About their present. _...I may not remember everything...but I'm glad I have you guys here with me...to help me through something like that..._ "Especially when I have friends like you guys..."

_Tifa... _Yuffie felt her heart beat a little bit faster and quickly changed the subject because she knew she was going to start crying soon. _...I'm glad you're here too...and Cid and Cloud and Aerith...and I'll keep being thankful for that... _"S—So...who's out on patrol?"

Even with the abrupt change in conversation, Tifa answered promptly. "It's Cid. But it's been awfully quiet today..." She quickly finished her tea and moved to the computers.

"It's been quiet for some time...What the heck are they waiting for, anyway? It's been boring!" Yuffie swivelled her chair to follow Tifa's movements but didn't get up. "No, wait...the Heartless don't plan stuff...So, then...what's with the sudden extinction?"

It took Tifa a few moments to answer her, with her mind busy charting Cid's progress in the log and checking the video-audio call-ins. "I...don't know..." The pen scribbled against the paper and it was the only sound in the room until her hand froze. When Yuffie noticed the absence of sound, she looked up, to see Tifa staring intently at the flashing red light. _...the light's flashing...But...who...? _

There was another pause and then a flurry of movement as both women figured it out at the same time. "Jeeze! It's Sora! Quick! Answer it!" Tifa sat herself down in the chair and grabbed the headphones and the microphone, flicking all the switches as she moved. Neither knew what to expect because Sora only called in during emergencies and their minds went blank, nearly forgetting the conversation from earlier.

The screen buzzed to life and after the grainy white noise, a picture of the interior of Sora's Gummi Ship was in front of them. There, seated comfortably in the chairs, were Sora, Donald, Goofy and Chip and Dale and...Riku waving. "—Sora! Sora, what's up?" Tifa nearly shouted into the microphone, unable to understand the scene in front of her. _...is that...Riku?_

His trademark grin was plastered on his face. _Hey guys... _"Well, this is it." With slight amusement, Sora watched as his words suddenly make sense to the two Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee members. _...this is the moment of truth... _His hands gripped the armrests tightly and was about to elaborate, to tell them exactly what was going to happen and where he was, when his friends spoke for him.

"—Dontcha worry about a thing!" Goofy grinned, trying to put Yuffie's and Tifa's shocked faces at ease. "We're ready!"

"Yeah!" Donald chimed in. "Xenmas won't know what hit him! And we got Riku too! To help!"

Tifa blinked, suddenly unable to process words. _Oh gods...this is it. This is...the final battle...Oh gods... _She put a hand to her head to calm her repeating, rapid thoughts. "Oh...! Sora...! Oh jeeze..." Finally, the right words came to her. _He'll need all the hope he can get...and it's the least I can do..._ "Good luck! You can do it!"

Yuffie nodded enthusiastically, still slightly frozen at the unexpected news. It wasn't like she ever doubted Sora's ability to get to the end, it was just unexpected timing. _This is...what we've been waiting for...This is it, isn't it?_ Suddenly, her enthusiasm came to her full force, and she couldn't be happier. _This is it! _"Y—Yeah! He won't stand a chance! Go Sora! We believe in you! Show him who's boss!"

At their words, Sora gave them a heartfelt smile. _...I will do this. There are too many people counting on me for me to just give up and be scared... _He quickly nodded back to them. "Thanks guys. Xenmas is going down!"

There was cheering all around and a final goodbye before the signal got cut. Tifa sat back in the chair, heart pounding. _This is it...This is it...Sora's going off to do what we all thought was the impossible... _When her thoughts were finally in order, she turned to Yuffie quickly. "Go wake up everyone. I'll get Cid. Sora needs us! We all have to be here for this!"

* * *

HEY-OH! I lied! There's another chapter coming! :D

This one was just getting too long. So I had to cut it. See you all soon! It'll be a quick update--i hope--and a Christmas gift to all! (or not). HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

P.S. I found Squall's birthday from some FFVIII website. I didn't make it up.  
P.S.S. That's my lovey-dovey idea for the letter (that appears at the end of the KHII credits). Well, you know, if this story actually happened.


	35. Chapter Thirty Five

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.

* * *

He could see her again.

Finally, after all this time, she was there. Standing in the fields at the old orphanage where they promised to meet. The grass was taller now…but at least she wasn't hidden.

She was standing with her back to him. Her hair swished in the light wind and her skin gave off a glow from the mid-day sun. What was left of her blue sleeveless coat hung in two strips at her hips and when they moved, the tiny purple and pink and yellow and white flower petals flew.

He smiled faintly at her and called out her name. Or at least, he was sure he did, because he felt his lips move but there was no sound. _...Rinoa... _Slowly, but surely, she turned to him, not skipping or repeating, and the sight of her face, in crystal clear clarity, made his heart pound in his chest.

She smiled at him, eyes widening in elation and he smiled a little bit more as she began to run to him, kicking up dirt and some unlucky flower petals as she moved. And even though he expected it, her movements, all he could do was watch as she got closer and closer to him. Her arms were outstretched and she reached for him and he had a feeling that this had happened before but by the time he had enough sense in him to move, she was already there.

Her arms wrapped around him tightly as she practically ran into him without a sound. He felt her weight, her warmth, her heartbeat there and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. The breeze was stronger suddenly, and he felt her hair tickle his face and he smiled.

Because he had gotten this part back, hadn't he?

He could feel her smile in his chest and he was expecting to see her look up at him when he opened his eyes, but when he did, everything was suddenly white. It took him a second to realize why and it took him another to realize that it hadn't been her hair that had been touching his face, it had been feathers. Millions and millions of soft white feathers.

Encircling them, hiding their forms from public eye, were her angel wings. Her bright, white, and solid angel wings. _...Rinoa... _He must have been studying them for a while, watching them flutter and change colours in the wind, because it took him by surprise when he felt her kiss the underside of his chin. Immediately, he looked down at her and he caught her smile and her blush.

Her eyes were shining, big and brown and her face was glowing and he couldn't recall seeing anything else as beautiful as this. She blinked at him, smiling again, and he watched as her mouth opened slowly, forming the words he could hear in his mind. "_...I love you..._"

She giggled at the words, at the sudden surprise he knew was showing in his face, and he figured that she had used those words on purpose. To throw him off. To make him question if this really was a dream because he never heard her say that before. Slowly, she moved her arms from around his waist to around his neck. "_Don't tell me you've forgotten......how much...I love you..._"

He didn't trust himself to speak, so he shook his head instead. She smiled, satisfied, and brought her body flush against his again, in the soft embrace. He sighed contently, tightening his hold on her and hoped that he would never have to let her go again. He was about to respond to her, in words, to make sure she knew that he had never truly forgotten that little piece, when he felt another pressure on his arm.

She seemed to sense this pressure as well and while he thought she'd be surprised, her eyes showed none of that emotion. There was another smile, another drifting feather between them, before her lips parted slowly as she looked up at him. "_Squ—_"

"—_SQUALL_! Wake up! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!"

The image of Rinoa flashed out from his line of sight as Squall was jostled awake. He barely had time to respond before Yuffie set off again. "Wakey-wakey! Shakey-shakey! Get up!"

"O—Okay! Yuffie!" He had to blink several times, to adjust to the low light in his room from the bright light in his dream, before he felt even remotely awake. His room was practically spinning around him and it took another long second before he was no longer disoriented. "Okay! Stop shaking me!"

At the order, she immediately jumped away from him. "Good! Up! Up! Up!" She moved away from his slowly rising frame and went to his dresser. He watched her as she picked out a clean shirt for him to wear, and frowned slightly. Although there were plenty of questions buzzing in his head, the first to come out didn't take Yuffie by surprise. "How did you get in here?"

In her frenzy, she spun, threw him the shirt and huffed. _Come on, Squall! Up!_ "Sora's about to duel with Xenmas! And you _still _haven't changed your code! So stop your dumb questions and get your day-dreaming butt out of bed!"

He caught the shirt with half a mind. _...Sora...? He's...? _It took a second for the information to sink in but when it did, Squall moved fluidly out of bed and changed into the new shirt, his brain no longer fuzzed with sleep. His heart began to pound and his palms got sweaty and he couldn't believe how nervous he was when the situation hit him full force. _...no, you know why you're nervous. This is it. Everything is riding on this. ...but he's more than capable..._

"Here! Squall!" Yuffie tossed him a pair of jeans and made her way to the door, her noise distracting him. "Change and meet in the Control Room! We're going to cheer him on!"

She thought she would have a head-start on him, at least a couple of minutes, but Yuffie realized that she should never underestimate Squall's speed. _...even if I'm still faster than him... _She was barely down the hallway when she heard his footsteps coming behind her. _...after all, I'd rush out of bed too if I heard the news..._

Her stomach was a mix of excitement and nerves and her head couldn't really decide on what to think. _...because this is important! It's what we've all be waiting for! This is the ending, isn't it?! _Yuffie's heart was pounding at the possibilities when Sora won. And while she couldn't exactly ignore the tiny pessimistic voice, the optimistic side was shouting loud and clear. _This is it! The ending! And everything's...going to end the way it should! _

At that thought, there was a tiny warning in her head, a sad tone trying to remind her that if her optimistic thought was true, _everything _would end the way it should, but she ignored it. _...it's what we've _all _been waiting for...And when Sora wins...everything is going to be right again...and everyone will remember...and no one will have to be alone again..._

"—When did he call in?" Squall's voice came to her suddenly, breaking her thoughts.

It took her half a step to respond and another to realize that he was practically in step with her. "About five minutes ago. I woke everyone else up first because you had the full-day shift yesterday and needed the sleep, you know? And Tifa called Cid back in from patrol and—"

"—What did he say?"

She knew she had been rambling from her nerves and knew that this wasn't the time for her to avoid questions, especially with Squall, so she caught herself mid-story and answered him. "He told us that he's about to go in! And we wished him luck! So, we all have to get to the Control Room and keep those vibes going, okay? No frowning from you!"

Yuffie had turned her head slightly in his direction and was surprised to see that he was still keeping step with her. _Jeeze! How'd he get here so fast? _His face was serious and she quickly made her face serious too, because this was important, as they rounded the last corner to get to the Control Room. Because this was it. What they have been waiting for. And everything else could wait. Her hands were a nervous blur over the panel where she punched in her code and she would have messed up her numbers if Squall hadn't told her that the last number was 'three, not six.'

_...wait a minute... _When the door swished open, Yuffie looked at him, the implications of his speech making her scattered thoughts stop short. "...how'd you know that?"

To that, he shrugged. "You're not the only one who can hack computers, you know."

She was about to point fingers and reprimand him, just like everyone else had done to her, when Squall simply shrugged again and walked past her without another word. He moved towards the computers, where everyone else was standing around, and Yuffie would have stayed there, slack-jawed, if Aerith hadn't come to her.

"Yuffie! Come on! You have to see this!" The taller brunette smiled, grabbing both of Yuffie's hands and pulling her towards the others.

"What? What's going on now?" Yuffie blinked, trying to understand exactly what everyone was staring at. The possibilities flooded her mind and her words came out as a jumbled mess. "Did Sora call in or something? Is it already over? Did I _miss _it?!"

"No, no, no." Aerith waved off her questions. "Cid has finally put his brain to good use!"

"...Never would have guessed that one..."

"—HEY!" Cid called out over his shoulder, hearing Yuffie's comment. "Just so you know, everybody's been calling me a genius! Wait 'till you see my work!"

"Well, what're you doing, anyway?" Yuffie rolled her eyes as she finally got close enough to see Cid on the floor, tinkering with wires and a metal box, with everyone else standing around him in a circle. "You know, Cid, now is _not _the time for one of your new inventions! Sora's out battling Xenmas! Tifa, didn't you tell him?"

"I know he's duelling with Xenmas, you little punk," Cid frowned, but not turning his eyes or hands away from the wires, "and for your information, I'm gonna give us a front row seat! Just...one more...Red over blue..."

Yuffie, still confused, turned to Squall for the answer. He turned slowly to her, feeling her eyes on his head, before explaining the information he had gotten upon reaching the group. "He gave Chip and Dale a little camera. And—"

"—OH!" Her eyes lit up as she interrupted him. "And that camera's with Sora and now we can see what he's doing?!" Squall blinked at her, at her sudden explosion of words, before nodding. "Oh! Cool! That's great! And here I thought we were going to stand around here and do nothing! Come on, Cid, you genius! Get that connection firing!"

"Yeah, yeah." The blonde man mumbled before sitting back. _...I swear, no respect around here... _"There! Done! Tifa, hook me up!"

While Tifa plugged in the remaining wires to the computers, it was Aerith who filled in the rest of the details of Cid's handy work. "The picture might not be great...but the camera's so tiny, it could probably just be clipped onto his clothes...On his lapel or something. Isn't that amazing?"

Yuffie nodded enthusiastically, heart pounding. _I can't believe this is actually happening! This! It's going to end today! _"I don't care if the picture quality is garbage! At least we can see something! At least we can cheer him on sort of-kind of in person!"

With near-perfect timing, the video feed flashed on the computer screen at the end of Yuffie's statement. "There! That's it!" Cid pointed to the mess of static noise, dark blobs and flashes of light the second the screen turned on. _Ah, come on! I'd expected better quality than this! _He pulled his finger back slowly before adding, "...Well, I guess that's it..."

Every one of them, even Cloud, leaned closer to the computer screen, watching the indistinguishable shapes change and move around and listening to the bursts of sound that came through. Their eyes were squinted, faces frowning slightly, as they all tried to make out what was in front of them and trying to make their eyes adjust.

"Oh! Wait! There! Was that Xenmas? That thing?!" Tifa pointed to the mess of silver that currently occupied the middle of the screen. When a flash of light came to her eyes seconds later, the tall brunette woman nearly jumped, not expecting a change that drastic. _What's going on now?_

"No," Cloud frowned at the image, the sound of his voice surprising everyone in the room, "that's Riku."

"Riku isn't that tall!" Yuffie protested, turning to her usually quiet friend. "No way! It's probably the metal on Sora's keyblade!"

"Okay fine! That's not him! What about that one?" Tifa pointed again, this time to a blob outlined in a pinkish hue that became illuminated by a streak of white.

"Xenmas is pink?! Really?" Cid raised an eyebrow at Tifa's suggestion, "You really think the Lord of the Heartless is going to be _pink_?!"

"What's wrong with pink?" Aerith chimed in from behind him. "And besides, that's more red than pink..."

"That doesn't matter." Squall pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing at the argument that was about to start. _Focus...Everyone, please, this is important..._ "What matters is that Sora's learned Final Strike. That streak of white that just passed. There, see?"

"Yeah! Go Sora! Do it again!" Yuffie pumped her fist in the air. When a similiar streak of white flashed on the screen, she cheered. _The picture may be bad...but this is good enough! GO SORA! I hope you can feel this! _She could barely contain her excitement; she was practically bouncing on the spot. This time, however, she knew that she wouldn't be reprimanded, because it seemed that just about everyone was getting jittery.

"Final Strike?" Cloud repeated, mumbling, after some time. "...That's Ultimate, isn't it?"

"You know, Cloud...?" Cid began, taking his eyes off the screen for a second and changing the topic of conversation slightly, "That's the most I've ever heard you talk in seven years."

While Cloud frowned and pursed his lips together at Cid's comment, Tifa shrugged, eyes wandering over between Cloud and Squall. "...Stranger things have happened, Cid."

The signal cut out a few times, the screen going completely black, and there were times when the strikes went the other way and they all heard Sora and Riku cry out. But even though they heard them, and they felt their nerves up in their throats, they all kept sending Sora as many positive thoughts as they could. _Come on, Sora...Come on...You can do this...This is nothing. Get him! There! _Because that was the only thought they could think of at a time like this.

All six pairs of eyes were glued to the screen and even though they knew the signal wasn't that great and expected a loss of it, when the screen suddenly went black and stayed black for several minutes, they were all taken back. They all stared for a few moments, trying to will the screen to turn back on, but when not even that worked, there was a collective nervous energy that sparked in the room. "Hey! What happened?!" Yuffie cried out first.

Immediately, after the shock wore off, Cid dropped to the ground and began tinkering with the box again. _No...No! Not now! You don't fail on me right when the action's gettin' good!_ "Come on...Come on...Connect!"

Tifa's hands were shaking; the video was the closest thing they had to Sora right now and at a time like this, she didn't want to lose that. _Oh, Sora...Come on! Please! _"D—Do you think he was winning? I mean, you saw all the times he hit Xenmas, right? Him and Riku? Do you think they have the upper-hand?" Her speech came out fast and jumbled and it was Aerith who came to her side. "He has those Final moves and all...He has to win, doesn't he?"

"Calm down. Just...It's okay." Aerith looked Tifa right in the eye to calm her down a little, even though her nerves were firing too. "Cid's going to fix it and then, we can watch. Right now, just...Just focus on Sora and keep sending him good luck."

Even though Cid's eyes were on the box, the others were still watching the screen, hearts pounding and not liking the feeling of helplessness as they looked at the blank screen. But there wasn't much else they could do but stand around and wait for the ending, was there? _...Come on, Sora...You can do this... _

Yuffie had begun to pace, Squall was busy tightening his fists and then relaxing them, Aerith and Tifa were practically shaking in their spots, holding onto one another and even Cloud got his nervousness out by biting the inside of his cheek. Because this was it. The moment they had been waiting for. The moment that everyone was counting on and all they could do was hope that the huge amount of pressure didn't get to Sora. Because it _was _a lot to ask for from one teenaged boy and it _was _a daunting task and even though they were confident in his ability, this was it. His one shot.

There would be no redo. No extra life. One time and that would be _it_.

Squall folded his arms across his chest in an effort to stop his movements. He steadied his breath and was surprised to hear no thoughts in his head. No chatter, no noise. _Strange... _To keep himself occupied, to not go stir-crazy, he listened to his heartbeat, to make sure that he was still there. With half a mind, he watched as Yuffie rushed past him, sliding to the floor to where Cid sat. "CID! COME ON! Why isn't it working yet?!"

"Yuffie—" Tifa tried to say before being interrupted.

"—I'm working as fast as I can, alright?!" Cid barked, still trying to hook them back up to the camera. "Dammit. Maybe he knocked the camera out...All the wires are where they are supposed to be!"

"But then how are we supposed to know what's going on? Come on! Try again!" Yuffie grabbed onto his sleeve, pulling it slightly. _I have to know what's happening! This is it! Come on, Sora! You can do it! We believe in you! But I have to know! Come on!_

All their eyes were moving from Cid's hands to the computer screen. All of their hearts were pounding and all of their thoughts were with Sora. But as Squall looked on, watching Yuffie and Cid and the screen, there was a point, a split second, when his heart stopped repeating its precise routine. It just stopped. And time just seemed to slow down for that second. He blinked twice, the forms of his friends not moving at all, before wondering if any of them were feeling this strange. _...what...? _It was a feeling of detachment, as if he wasn't really there, as if he was slowly losing grip on the picture in front of him. He felt his mouth open, about to ask that question, when his voice suddenly cut out. "Hey—"

There was suddenly no sound. Except a light ringing in his ears. Except the music of clarinets and flutes and violins and cellos and he thought for another second he was finally losing his sanity when his vision slowly began to turn white. _...what...?! _His throat was dry, a lump forming and cutting off his words again. "Guys—" His heart started to pound and he felt like he was falling over even though he was sure he was standing upright. He tried to move towards them, to raise his hands or something or anything to get their attention, but his body remained frozen. And while sudden paralysis would usually be a concern for him, there was none of that feeling. Just a strange sort of calm.

Because he understood now, didn't he? He knew why, didn't he?

Before he couldn't see anything, his eyes passed over all the faces in the room. Time was still slow, but his eyes were still fast and he could see that Tifa and Aerith and Cloud had slight confusion on their faces, looking around at everyone in that strange slow motion, suddenly very surprised to be in that room. _...because...this is it...isn't it?_ And as much as he wanted to know the real reason behind their faces, to share in this emotional episode, Squall couldn't let his mind linger on it because it was Yuffie's face that caught his attention.

Her eyes were wide, her mouth opened slightly and he had to wonder what he looked like to make her have that face. He watched as her lips formed his name, watched as she jumped up in slow motion from her seat next to Cid, and before his vision went completely white, watched as everyone else suddenly realize what she was running towards. The still and calm form of him. _...Yuffie...no...wait...I want...  
_

"_SQUALL_!" Yuffie shouted, scampering towards the white pillar of light that was slowly beginning to engulf her friend. He was looking at her, she was sure that he was, and there was another second that passed when she remembered that circular band still pushing against her hip. _Squall! SQUALL! Wait! _She wasn't sure what was happening, wasn't sure if her heart could take it, wasn't sure if anyone around her was moving... All she could see was that Squall was slowly disappearing in front of her eyes, slowly disappearing under the light and the waterfall because this was what happened when things went back to normal, didn't they? And she knew it, didn't she?

Her hand reached into her pocket quickly, feet still moving towards him, and just before she couldn't see his face anymore, her hand reached out, thrusting into the pillar towards him. Yuffie was expecting some sort of backlash from the light, some sort of resistance, pain even, but encountered nothing. He must have seen her coming, must have seen her hand because the first thing she touched was his arm. There was a quick exchange, the light getting far too bright for her comfort, and she quickly made his hand into a fist once the ring was in his palm. _Squall..._

It was then that she suddenly felt the resistance, the high speed winds that were pushing up from the ground, and the sound of it was making her head hurt. She wasn't sure if anyone else had moved, and couldn't hear them, because all she could hear was the sound of rushing water. Or maybe it was a thousand waterfalls with...with violins? Yuffie felt her hand being pushed upwards and there was just a last second touch between Squall and her before her arm was shoved out of the column. _...wait...Wait! Squall! _Her thoughts became frantic when she could see his form slowly start to rise. She was about to rush in after him, to demand that he stay at least for another week, to at least say goodbye properly because it really wasn't fair for him to just get up and leave like that. _...please...wait..._

But Yuffie didn't move. She couldn't think. Because everything had to go back, didn't it? And as much as she wished it to be false, ...Squall wasn't part of her old world, was he? _...but...but... _That logic held her back, and she could only look up and watch as Squall's form disappeared from her sight, the light getting brighter and brighter and brighter until she had to look away. _...Squall..._ And when she felt the tears begin to fall, she didn't bother wiping them. She let them move down her cheeks.

Because as much as this hurt, this was good, wasn't it? This was the ending that they had all wanted, wasn't it? _...because Sora won...because he won...Xenmas is gone and now...he's... _Yuffie turned slowly to her friends, sobbing, unable to look at Squall's departure._...because he has his own world...to get back to, doesn't he? _She would have been so proud of her logical thinking, her calm, rational thoughts, and she was sure that Squall would be too, if she wasn't so busy crying...if she wasn't so busy wishing that Squall didn't have to go. _...but that's...where he_—_he..._ And as much as she tried to force herself to believe in the explanation, Yuffie simply couldn't. Not now. Not after all of that. _...but he's my friend too! He's part of my world too! You can't just take him away like that! _

Yuffie brought her tear-filled eyes upwards, towards the window, and wished on all the shooting stars that were falling up into the sky to bring Squall back. _Just for a second...Just to say_—_say goodbye... _And as much as she wanted to enjoy the view of the sky with all its stars, she just couldn't. Because it hurt too damn much and who cares about stars when your friend disappears? _Please...Please...That's just not...fair..._

She wasn't sure when it happened, but Yuffie suddenly found herself on the ground, slamming into a kneeling position as she kept crying. It was Tifa who came to her first, moving quickly to her trembling frame, and holding her in a tight hug. The others in the room were quiet, slowly coming to an understanding about all of this, and it wasn't for another long moment before Tifa spoke. "...Yuffie?"

And if Yuffie wasn't hearing the violins and the cellos and the clarinets and the flutes, she was certain that she heard something else in Tifa's tone of voice that made the tears stop for a second. _...Tifa...? _Something else that had been missing for about seven years. Something important. Something that was lost and found again. _...because Sora won... _"T—Tifa..." Her heart was pounding again as she looked at her friend, seeing the spark in her eyes that told her everything. "Tifa..."

Yuffie started crying again. She brought her arms around her friend and hugged her tightly, because this was something she had been waiting for, wasn't it? This was something that was seven years in the making, wasn't it? _...She...Tifa...is... _Yuffie pursed her lips together to stop the sound of her sobbing because she should be happy, shouldn't she? This was good, right? And while she wanted to listen to the optimistic voice again, the one that was singing at the back of her mind, the one that was finally victorious after all of that, Yuffie couldn't help the tears that fell. _...but...but..._

"Yuffie...Don't cry..." Tifa spoke softly, patting her back, holding her own tears because it wouldn't do much good if they were both crying.

The taller brunette wasn't expecting anything but tears from Yuffie and was surprised when that quiet, sad voice came to her ears. The one that Yuffie would have reserved for any time when she wished for her whole friend back. "He's...He's gone...? Is he...gone?" There was a tiny hiccup at the end and Tifa simply nodded in the direction of the pillar of light. Yuffie could feel that movement, the up and down signal for 'Yes', and sniffed loudly. There was a sudden calm in her head, the optimistic singer being quieted by the sad logical thinker. _...but Squall has...been waiting for this part...for seven years too, right?_

"He's going back home, Yuffie...Don't cry..." Tifa tried to console her friend, trying to smile, trying to believe in the justice in all of this, hoping that if she said it often enough, it would make this better.

"But this was home too, Tifa! For him! He was a part of us, too!" Yuffie stubbornly protested, stopping her logical thoughts and reasoning out loud because that _so _wasn't her area of expertise and if she did it anymore, she'd keep thinking about _him _and she didn't she say once that she was done crying over him? She didn't want to listen to that logical side anymore, but it kept spitting out words, because shouldn't she be happy? Her friends got their memories back and wasn't that something _she _had wanted for a long time? ...And if she could get that back, shouldn't Squall be entitled to it, too? Even if it means...him going away? _...but...but..._

"I know...I know..." Using one hand for the hug, Tifa brought her other up to wipe her own tears away. _Squall...You're finally...going back...This is...This was everything... _Swallowing down her sadness, Tifa watched as the light pillar slowly began to fade out. The words came to her suddenly and it felt like she had no control over it, but it was the only thing she could think of to calm the situation down. Because what else could be said at a time like this? "...He'll never forget us, you know..."

Yuffie broke away from her abruptly, pulling out of the hug and using the back of her hand to wipe her tears. When Tifa's words finally registered in her head, when she turned slowly and saw the light fading out, she was surprised at the sudden calm thought that broke through her mind's chatter. _...No...He won't...He can't...Because memories like these...don't just vanish, right? _There was a tiny spot of warmth in her heart at that sentiment; it didn't make the pain any easier, but it felt good to have. Because she didn't want to be miserable, did she? _...because he _deserves_...to get his wish, too..._The petite ninja offered Tifa a tiny smile, sniffing, seeing Cloud and Aerith and Cid begin to crowd around them, and tried to put as much truth as she could to her words so that even she could believe in them.

Because this was good, wasn't it? This had been good, right? And what's not to say that it can't happen again? _...stranger things...have happened, right?_ "...He has the memory of an elephant, Tifa...He can't forget us...even if he tried..."

* * *

The first thing Squall thought of when he regained consciousness was why he wasn't feeling any pain. He could feel that he had landed on his back, could feel the grass and the earth being crushed beneath him and he would have thought that for sure, with this amount of impact, he would be in a tremendous amount of pain. A headache or concussion or something.

But he felt nothing.

His eyelids were heavy and his brain was fuzzy and groggy and nauseous. _...what...happened...? _His body felt stiff and the last thing he could remember was seeing white. Seeing nothing but white and...and... _...Yuffie... _and the ring and...and the looks on his friend's faces as they remembered everything and...and Yuffie running towards him. _...Yuffie...Sora...Sora won...? _At that sudden thought, his mind jolted awake and his eyes opened in a flash.

Squall's vision came to him quickly but it took him a second to realize that it was night time...even though he was sure it was morning in...in... _...Hollow...Hollow Bastion...? _He frowned slightly because the place name in his head didn't sound quite right, but he was sure that it was. _Hyne...what...? _Squall groaned as he tried to move, trying to piece together what happened before _this_, trying to push out the fuzzy, groggy mind and get back into gear and trying to get his body moving again because this was important, wasn't it? _...Come on... _

He blinked twice, deciding not to move anymore because that was impeding his thought process, and focused up at the sky. Because that was something important too. Because something about seeing millions upon millions of stars falling up into the sky was good, wasn't it? _...because...because...Sora won, didn't he?_ Squall exhaled slowly, the memories of what had happened coming back to him slowly and when he remembered Yuffie's face, her tear-streaked face, his lips pursed together and his hands tightened into fists. But before he could even think along those lines, about the family he had for seven years suddenly vanishing in a pillar of white, and everything that they had done for him, Squall paused.

Because there was something in his hand. And he knew what it was, didn't he?

_...she took...the ring... _The thought came slowly to his mind and he had to blink once before his fingers uncurled around the object that Yuffie had given back to him. That she had made _sure _he had gotten so that he wouldn't...forget what it meant. His heart began to pound as his eyes strained to look at the object in his palm, that simple silver band that had started everything, that plan, the reunion, the understanding and the acceptance and his ability to _finally _be okay again. _...Yuffie... _Squall looked back up at the sky and tried to calm down. Staring at all the stars, it took him everything he had to not acknowledge the fact that he was officially millions upon millions of light-years away from them all, that somewhere up there, Hollow Bastion was missing one member of its committee...

Because Sora won, didn't he?

And while he knew that he had every right to feel sad, to get angry and to let that pang of sadness engulf him and to be upset that he had just lost his family, and that fate had a cruel way of showing him how much he needed them all, Squall stopped himself and took a breath. _...because that means...that the ending we all needed...is here...the worlds are restored... _He took another breath and started to move his body into a sitting position. _...and no one is alone anymore...Yuffie...isn't alone anymore... _As his body rose, there was a dizziness, but he pushed it aside, trying hard to focus on the good in all of this, but failing as his thoughts continued. _...but I still want both... _

And as much as mind wanted to return to the sadness, because he had every right to, he knew that Yuffie would yell at him if he stayed sad. She would stomp her feet and make little fists and command him to stop it because she had worked too damn hard to see him go back into his old ways, hadn't she? ...And he didn't want to be sad. And he didn't want them to be sad, either. _...at least...I remember them, right? ...That's something, isn't it? That I haven't forgotten...  
_

His heart was pounding and it took everything he had to hold onto that one optimistic thought. _...and I don't want them to be sad over me, either...because they remember too, don't they...? _Squall swallowed thickly, finally upright, and slowly brought his legs towards his torso so that he could stand. _...because Hyne wouldn't be that cruel, would She? After something like that...at least you still have that part... _The grass pulled and tore under his moving limbs and finally, he stood. There was a slight imbalance to his step and he nearly fell over, but he caught himself. _...because they're going to be fine...the universe is righted again...  
_

His eyes went back to the ring in his palm for a second, his heart practically exploding at the symbolism of it, before looking back up at the majestic night sky, it now being just a little bit closer. _Wherever they are now...up there...Yuffie and Tifa and Aerith and Cloud and Cid and Sora and _everyone _is going to be fine...because the memories...are precious, aren't they? And no one...is alone anymore...because everyone...remembers... _And even though he didn't believe in that nonsense, that shootings stars have no magical powers, Squall brought his head up and made a wish anyway. Because it couldn't hurt, could it?

_I wish...for their safety...for a chance to maybe...be able...to see them again... _As the wish passed through his mind, Squall's lips curled upwards into a tiny smile because he was surprised at his sudden optimism. _...the worlds came together once, didn't they...? So why not again...? After all of that...why not? _His eyes moved downwards and he suddenly heard the sounds of violins and clarinets and flutes and cellos again. A familiar tune, all in perfect tone, and his heart began to slow down in his chest. _...because the light won...and that's something good, isn't it? ...those memories...will never vanish...Friends like that...  
_

He had a feeling they were there, behind him, calling out his _name _over and over and over again, and even though he couldn't hear anything above the sound of the music and of Yuffie's laughter and Cid's mumbles and Aerith's smiles and Tifa's words...Squall turned anyway. Because he always had his back to them in his dreams, right?

His eyes scanned the familiar group of five, seeing Zell and Quistis and Irvine and Selphie all waving and crying and waving and pointing, and it took him a second to calm his heart down, to realize that it had finally happened, that seven years of everything had finally paid off, that he was finally in the fields of the purple and the yellow and the pink and the white flowers of the orphanage where they had promised to meet... It took him another long second to notice the blue and the black of _her_.

He could see her again.

She was standing with her back to him. Her hair swished in the light wind and her body was outlined in the white of the moon. What was left of her blue sleeveless coat hung in two strips at her hips but Squall couldn't focus there for long. Because she turned around quickly, eyes moving from the shooting stars to his frame, and he watched her as her eyes lit up and her mouth break into a smile and the tears begin to fall. Slowly, her hand moved up, to point to all the stars for a split second, before the rest of her body broke out into a run towards him.

And he watched her move, her feet kicking up dirt and flower petals, smiling a little to himself because this had happened before, hadn't it? And he knew who had done it and why. _...and friends like that...can't just vanish, can they? ...I'll never forget them... _It took him a second, another smile, before Squall found the use of his legs and began to run to her, to meet her half way.

_...I promise..._

_

* * *

_

THE END. :D

So how many of you saw that ending coming? I was actually thinking of being mean and making Squall and everyone else forget about one another completely....but, that just wasn't my style.

Overall, I really enjoyed writing this fic. At times, it was hard, at other times, even harder...but I'm glad that I stuck to it and kept up with all my themes and styles. You know, all that stuff about Need Vs. Want, Dreams Vs. Reality, Friendship and the weather and all those LOVELY run on sentences (to symbolize mind chatter) and the idea of Being Alone Vs. Together... But all of you know that if this happens at the end of KHIII, IT WAS TOTALLY MY IDEA FIRST. XD.

I hope you all liked it. I know that my 'Falling Action' (the stuff that happens after the Rinoa-Squall reunion) was slow and not-up-to-MY-standards, but I've always had trouble with that area...so, I hope that I didn't disappoint.

Anyway guys, it's been a blast! From Emo to re-born! ^^ Hope y'all enjoyed it! This is Evil StormSister, signing off....Maybe for a while, not sure. Professional school is QUITE hard (even in its first week....)

Keep on Truckin'  
Evil SS


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